#its about the codependency of it all��

[yannaryartside]

its not about cheating

idk if it's the lack of sleep, but I keep returning to the metaphors that can come to the sydcarmy ship because they are a partnership: "they are married," "the restaurant is their baby." By that logic, you could see S2 as Sydney being the pregnant wife while her husband cheats.

The analogies are valid; sydcarmy is definitely being used as a meta-representation of having a partner with addiction/mental health issues. The desire to help each other while not being able to let go of old thinking patterns. In S3, both Carmy and Syd are frozen, Carmy's frozen looks like chaos, and Sydney's frozen looks like inaction/frustration. Neither of them knows what to do to get out of it.

But in all of this, Claire is not the "affair" in the sense that we are supposed to see the wound that Sydney has as someone who has been cheated on; Carmy and Syd are not together. He is not actively choosing to harm her. He does ignore his responsibilities and excuses his actions with the hope of compensating for them later; he believes his chaos will not matter to Syd anymore when he gets the star for her, he wants to prove he can be the best for her, while not discarding all the toxic shit he learned from his former ex-chef. He is afraid of acknowledging his faults because he fears not being worthy of love.

There is something to be said of Sydney falling in love with someone who's not emotionally available, but I think it depends on when you think she fell in love with him.

This is not about cheating because Claire is supposed to represent Carmy's desire to never grow and heal from his trauma, to stay in his comfort zone, and to be able to please a partner who (subconsciously) reminds him of his mother. Claire is the activation of the freeze response because she is literally the equivalent of being frozen in space. Right before their first kiss, Carmy points out they're standing where the frozen product is supposed to be stored. after two seasons of romance on screen, you can see these two people don't know each other, if they love each other, its definitely trauma bonding. Because they don't know each other/care to do it, you feel they mostly love that each other's company makes them feel good/complete.

So this is not about comparing Carmys desire/love to either girl, is about comparing the relationships, is about showing that even the relationships that look like love may be grounded in codependence and trauma bonding, and why they are so difficult to set apart from the real thing. In other words, if Sydney and Carmy met only after his story with Claire ended, the message could still be the same, the fact that they are happening at the same time is to show that Carmy could not recognize or feel capable of entering a healthy relationship in his current state of being, even if it was right in front of him and being very obvious.

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Enhypen's (Green/Yellow/Red Flags) For Partners

Okay, time to move on to one of my faves for this reading. Let's see what they will share about what they like and don't like in a partner.

Heeseung

Green (6 of Cups) Someone he can build a long connection with, maybe be long time friends with. Someone youthful and pure. They may need to have this young vibrant energy. A playful and imaginative person. Also, someone pure, sweet and kind, and also pretty simplistic.

Yellow (Page of Swords) He may not like someone shy and timid, or someone who has a fear to speak up on things. He would want someone communicative and open about their thoughts. He also may not like shallow individuals. He wouldn't want someone who hides information as well and not open and honest with him.

Red (7 of Pentacles) Someone who stays stagnant. Someone who doesn't work hard or doesn't finish what they started. Someone who plays it safe. Or doesn't try hard to push for their goals. He may also not like a lazy person as well.

His overall seems pretty normal and what most people would like or dislike.

Jay

Green (9 of Cups) Someone who is appreciative and satisfied with what they have. Someone who finds a way to be happy and has the ability to get what they want. He would prefer a happy person that doesn't complain too much about things in life.

Yellow (Justice) Hmm, not sure what to make of this one. Maybe someone who has a tough time decided things. They seem to always see both sides of things, maybe someone who is a bit too objective and robotic is a bit of a dislike to him as well. Someone who may focus on too much of the facts or is black and white about things. He may want someone a bit more emotional and less cold. He may not like someone who is neutral about things and can't pick a side or make a decision, that is what I feel it may be a dislike for him.

Red (6 of Wands) I would say someone egotistical, a bit too boastful and prideful he may not like. Someone with a strong competitive spirit, I guess. I am getting more of someone who boast a lot about their achievements. That may bother him. He would prefer a humbler person. I can visualize someone blabbing about all their achievements and not shutting up and him making an annoyed face at it. Love that he gave me that visual lol

Jake

Green (The Devil) This dude is a bit warped here, why would he have this for a green flag? Bro really? He would like someone attached to him and maybe someone he can control ugh dude why did he have to show this. Going to be fun to do his boyfriend reading when I get to him for that series I am starting.

Yellow (Ace of Cups) Once again, not sure why he would pick this as a yellow flag. Someone who may trauma dump on him or pour all their emotions to him way too quickly may be a problem for him, not a deal breaker, since it is a yellow flag, but a bit of a turn off for him. Also, someone who gets too emotional and falls in love too quickly. He may pull away if he sees that too early on.

Red (The Sun) Once again, why this for a red flag not sure, someone with a big ego, someone who shines bright. Hmm, not liking this look, umm, he wouldn't want to date someone with a huge presence. Yeah, I don't like that, this energy kind of shows red flag behavior for him. This need to control his partner and honestly want to dim their light in a sense, keep them humble and small. Well, I hope I am off the mark there, but that is what I get.

I will be real it has been a while since I have seen that toxic energy from him regarding relationships, but it is making its way back in lol I mean that Devil being the green flag is something else, yes, you can say, he may want a partner with self-control and a handworker, but man, there are better cards to show that then this one. This man may want someone codependent on him.

Sunghoon

Green (Queen of Swords) This man is so predictable, love it. He gives me this card a lot. He wants someone smart, a bit cold, very wise, mature. They know what they want and share what they want. A confident person. Someone who isn't afraid to share their opinion and won't back down, but also very diplomatic and non-combative. A very cool, calm, collected person.

Yellow (Queen of Cups) I laughed when I got this, basically he doesn't want someone overly emotional and sensitive and someone who may ask about his feelings a lot or want him to share it, that is a no for him. It isn't a deal breaker, but he does not like people who nag him about his feelings.

Red (2 of Swords) Someone stubborn, combative, create arguments, unwilling to listen and someone who has different ideas and opinions from him, if he can't agree with them and they are not willing to compromise he is done.

Sunoo

Green (The Tower) Interesting card here lol Someone unconventional. Someone who is willing to change things and shake things up. I wouldn't expect this to be a green flag for him. He seems to like things to be stable and safe, so okay. Someone who isn't stringent and just lets things fall if need be.

Yellow (Knight of Swords) Maybe someone defensive. Someone who always has a point to prove or something to say. He may not like argumentative people. Hmm, this is a bit of projection on his part to, because he can be like this too, so unless he has changed, which I doubt it. Kind of projecting here, but maybe he doesn't like people who fuel that energy in him. He may also not like someone who is overconfident in their thoughts and beliefs and is unwilling to back down on it. Also, someone quick to speak, but not listen.

Red (The Hanged Man/2 of Wands) He may not like someone who doesn't see his point of view and understand his side of things. He may also not like people who don't reflect on their actions as much. He may also not like someone who doesn't have a vision of the future, if they can't see a future with him or align with what he wants, he is done. Which makes perfect sense to me lol

Why is he giving me he dated, or is dating someone, and they didn't want to change things and that is where the disconnect happened with him and someone. I sense that from this spread.

Jungwon

Green (3 of Cups) He would want a sociable and friendly person. Someone who gets along with everyone. Probably more so an extrovert type of person who likes to have fun and spread joy to others, the life of the party person. Also, someone he can be friends with as well and have fun with.

Yellow (6 of Swords) Someone mentally unstable and finds it hard to move forward and make positive changes in their lives. He doesn't want to carry the weight of this person. He would want them to be able to move on their own and work on things. He kind of comes off insensitive there, but just my opinion.

Red (The Lovers) Interesting card for a red flag. Umm, he doesn't want a partner attached to him, or to be infatuated with him. I am also getting he may not want to be attached to a partner, so if he likes someone a lot or feels a strong attachment to them, he may pull away and that is a red flag for him. Also, maybe someone similar to him is something he may not want. If that person mirrors traits he has he may not want that person. I guess those mirrors would probably trigger him, which is interesting. He might need to do some self-work and reflection there as to why he would be triggered.

Ni-ki

Green (The World) Someone very cultured and has lots of experience. He would want someone who has accomplished a lot that would be his green flag. If he has seen, they traveled the world and did a lot of things he would like that. He likes someone who gets things done. Also, someone very understanding of the world and knowledgeable about a lot of things. Like he would be an aww of their vast knowledge about life and things in general.

Yellow (Page of Pentacles) He may not like someone who is too cautious and to slow to do things. This also shows someone inexperienced in a sense. Dude would need to date someone older I guess, because being experienced and getting a lot sh** done is important to him. He may also not like someone who is unsure of themselves either.

Red (King of Pentacles) He wouldn't want someone heavily focused on making money, someone stubborn and too set in their ways. He wouldn't want someone to materialistic and grounded. And that they take things/life way too seriously. Someone too practical and safe and that they don't have much fun or ability to be spontaneous.

So, there that is, nothing too wild there for them, most seem reasonable. Some are questionable and a bit toxic, but nothing too surprising and crazy to me from what I have gotten from them in the past.

[sha-brytols]

never apologize these give me life. it's also frustrating when you try to point this out because ALWAYS either one of two things happens:

"um ☝️🤓 actually 🙄 this is a really unfair assessment and actually says more about YOUR perception of gender politics that you believe mythal is meant to be the Evil Crazy Bitch Ex Wife" and for some reason no amount of explaining that you are specifically criticizing this as an idea being set up by the devs in the actual game itself will ever actually get through to people

"oh 🤨 so women aren't allowed to be nuanced anymore? 🤔 we can't have flawed female characters? 🙄 it's sexist for female characters to be portrayed in a toxic relationship?" and this one really grinds my gears because it ISN'T nuanced and it ISN'T complex and the entire thing was framed by the devs in such a way that illustrates everything as ultimately mythal's individual fault.

like i like the idea of mythal and solas having a codependent and mutually destructive relationship in theory and i LOVE the idea that this ultimately manifests in the literal annhilation of their world as they know it because THEY'RE GODSkindof! but this isn't how it plays out. there is absolutely NO point in the entire game where solas is given literally any agency over his own actions. why did he destroy the titans? mythal told him to. he actually says in this 🥺 heartbreaking tone "what we're doing is awful" just to really drive home the point of he didn't want this. why did he use the titans life force as a tool to strengthen the evanuris? mythal told him to. see, she even forced him to abandon his spiritual form despite him not wanting to and he even told her he thinks its dangerous to harvest the blood of the titans, he's just that loyal and devoted to her! why is he tearing down the veil? he's fulfilling mythal's final wish and he literally cannot stop himself because he's so broken by his loyalty and devotion to her that he's unable to consider any other path. why did he STAB VARRIC AND USE HIS LIKENESS TO MIND CONTROL AND MANIPULATE ROOK? BECAUSE OF MYTHAL‼️

this is what drives me so crazy like i see fans (especially solasmancers) actually buying into this and it makes me want to rip my hair out. even that infamously despised ending where he relies on mythal's favor rather than the inquisitor's to finally break the cycle seems so insidious to me. like the writers were specifically grabbing you by the shoulder to be like "don't worry, girl! he WOULD have stopped for you! he wanted to stop for you! he just couldn't because of his evil ex wife! blame her! ^_^" like all of this was just specifically so that fans of solas didn't have to reconcile any of the bad things that he does as his own actions and i'm not even saying this as a dig against solavellans im saying YALL WERE ROBBED AND YOU'RE STILL FEEDING INTO THIS EVEN WHEN YOU'RE COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW MUCH IT SUCKED.

i like solas! i hate that i even feel like i have to say this because my opinion on him shouldn't matter in a discussion about misogyny but because there's now this narrative that any interpretation of him as anything but a poor little meow meow who got fucked over by the devs with a hidden agenda i feel like i have to clarify that i'm saying this partly because this completely destroys everything that made him so fun and appealing. like imagine if da2 genuinely leaned into the notion that anders was completely innocent and just being manipulated by justice this whole time and nothing he did was ever his own decision like does that not SUCK ALL POSSIBLE INTEREST OUT OF THAT CHARACTER FOR YOU? why are we okay with this!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ikarons literally all your tags ruled but these ones especially because you dont even know how much this BUGGED ME‼️

[raepliica]

one of these nights

[infamously-winking]

hot take on billford is that the secret third thing is obsession with being seen by someone for the first time in each of their lives

[heybiji]

[recent-rose]

intrigued by the idea that jayce dooms viktor to become the herald because he loves viktor too much to let him die. but mage!viktor could also choose not to save jayce from the storm in order to save himself from that fate, and yet he too loves too much to let go of jayce. endless cycle only broken by their choice to go together.

[grandwitchbird]

This is as much as I’m going to say on the debacle at the moment.

Veilguard as a text worries the audience is at least a bit racist on the whole. It wants to somehow prevent this from playing out in gameplay this time and also avoid the whole issue altogether maybe thankyouverymuch. This is in no way an actual ethical shift from previous BioWare games. They’ve just finally said ‘oppression bad’ in the text instead of hoping you’d know that and added some extra weight and consequence just in case you really wanted to kill the black dude or side with the fascists for noreasonatall.

To contrast. Disco Elysium knows most people are quite racist. It has zero interest in the audience’s response to its approach. And its approach is to call racists clowns right out the gate.

I know which approach I prefer, and I know I prefer it because it’s ethically stronger and not built on a codependent relationship with the audience. I also know why Veilguard did things the way it did. If you’re mad about it, maybe just check in the mirror for greasepaint first. And at least consider acknowledging that BioWare’s audience holds stock in the clown shoe factory.

[an-actual-floof]

thinking about human!John Doe on this fine ep43-eve

[somanywords]

thinking about when jack and davey figure it out. we all know how long it takes them to get there, but what about when they do? the fear, the relief, the feelings that get all twisted up on their way out and leave you shaking. the way jack grabs davey, holds on tight, tight enough that they both get ideas about never unraveling. this is theirs now. and now that they've got it...the thought of going backwards is almost too much to bear. kissing that turns into pure clutching, just breathing close together. waking up with hands fisted in t-shirts, fingers tight enough to cramp. slowly learning together, that i'm here means i'm here, means i'm staying here, means we're safe and i love you

[k-martins]

i so want to write a post canon angsty breakup fanfic where megumi leaves the jujutsu society to heal from his trauma, but yuji still stays because he wants to protect people from curses and make up for sukuna's damage.

they both feel like they're getting in each other's way from achieving their goals. and then they meet again ten years later (oh yeah, stsg parallels, i love them) and live out the cheesiest, corniest cliche ever.

[venom-ass-daily]

From Venom vol 3 issue #150

[curiouslykidding]

"Down to You" by Marianas Trench is a Jayvik song and I'm losing my mind about it.

[moeblob]

"Him? Oh, you know, he's kind of a loser." - probably everyone except for his younger brother.

Germaine is based on the layer of hell (Dante's Inferno) for material wealth before self, others, and god. So basically very materialistic and possessive of his belongings. Unfortunately, his younger brother qualifies as a belonging in his mind. So he does his absolute best to keep his brother safe and sound and scratch free - which is a bit tough in a post apocalyptic setting but he mostly manages.

Also a fact I just like to mention: he is incapable of lying.

[wizard0rb]

say what you will about metal gear women but the single solitary time i have ever seen two butch women in a canon relationship in any work of fiction ever was peacewalker

[inkedbydave]

people who managed to forget or move on from your codependent homoerotic friendships formed at a diabolically young age... tips and tricks please? drop the tutorial babes?