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missturtleduck · 4 years ago

Note

hi i saw ur requests were open and i would love if u could do a sokka x reader :) where reader is really shy and he likes to tease her and flirt with her to see her all flustered but she denies him actually liking her bc she thinks it’s just his personality to be funny like that. but then there’s the classic oh no there’s only one bed thing? thank you!

Ooooh I loved writing this! Tropes? Love them. Fluff? So fun, so sweet. I hope you enjoy, anon, and have a very happy holiday! <3

Teasing

Sokka x shy!Reader

It was a well-known fact that Sokka was a tease.

Now, he wasn’t a tease in the common sense, more that he took some joy in being a so-called comedian. Y/N seemed to be the person in their gang that got the brunt of his teasing. Every time he came up with some sarcastic quip, she would laugh along with everyone else – though most of the time she was the only one who found him funny – but then there were the other times.

She had been sparring with Zuko, who was surprisingly adept with swords for a bender, when Sokka had come by whistling with faux innocence. As he took a seat on the floor, his eyes were trained on the fight. Feeling his blue-eyed gaze boring into her, she felt her entire body flush. Steadying her breathing, Y/N pushed down the flustered flutter bats inhabiting her stomach. A frustrated cry escaped her lips as she pinned Zuko’s blades to the floor with her own.

“Sokka,” She breathed out, hating how hot she felt. “Sokka, w-what are you doing?”

He grinned. “Just enjoying the view. You know, I always thought red was Zuko’s colour, but you are boasting a lovely shade today.”

Absently, Y/N put a palm to her face, only becoming more flustered as she realised her skin had in fact became darker. As the blood rushed faster through her body, she looked desperately at Zuko for some reprieve.

“Sokka, are you here for any reason other than being a complete clown?” Zuko said, sighing in pure exasperation even as Y/N had him pinned.

The boy ignored him completely. “Has anyone ever told just how adorable you are? Because you really are.”

“Sokka,” Zuko said again, his voice less patient. “Go away before we make you.”

“Alright, alright,” He tutted, hands in the air as if in surrender. “I’ll leave you two to your dance lessons. Call me if you fall; I’ll come and catch you.”

Waiting for him to be out of earshot, Y/N groaned, dropping her sword and freeing Zuko. Her entire face was on fire. Sure, it was a metaphor, a hyperbolic one at that, but if Zuko decided to shove his ignited palm in her face, it would not manage to be as hot as she was feeling now. It might be slightly less sweaty. Ew.

Lowering herself to the ground, she sat, stretching out her aching limbs, pouring water over her roasting head. Y/N, needless to say, was mortified by Sokka’s teasing, but when was she not? She was somewhat shyer than her female friends; Katara had this maternal instinct about her that kicked into overdrive as soon as someone seemed needy. It was honestly scarier than the Avatar State. Toph was just... Toph. The girl was at least four years younger than Y/N and utterly terrifying, approaching people and situations with no fear. Then there was Suki. Suki had a knack of getting people to like her, being the loveable, charismatic leader, she was.

And that left Y/N.

Y/N struggled being heard in many a conversation. Ask her to take a compliment? No. No. Not happening. No thank you. Her shy demeanour was labelled cute by a few different people, though they all seemed to be joking – especially Sokka.

“Do you want me to sort him out for you?”

Y/N looked up, meeting Zuko’s very serious gaze for just a moment before staring at the ground. “No, it’s okay. He’s like that with everyone.”

“What?” Zuko frowned, slumping to the ground too. “What are you on about? He doesn’t flirt with everyone!”

“That wasn’t flirting!” She insisted, feeling that bashful flush creeping in again.

“He was just teasing, like he does with everyone!”

Zuko’s lips quirked. “He called you adorable.”

“Yesterday, he called Momo adorable.”

“He said you flushed was your colour.”

“And he said that red was yours, sunshine.”

“Oh, Y/N, I’ll catch you if you fall!”

Y/N stammered. “He could have been talking to either of us!”

There was some silence between them. Y/N didn’t usually mind sitting in silence with Zuko, who was just as awkward as her most of the time. However, the wide, toothy grin like a catgator’s was highly disconcerting.

“Zuko, I don’t know what you’re seeing, but he wasn’t flirting,” Y/N said finally, quietly commanding. “He’s just messing around like he usually does.”

The prince sighed, suppressing his mischievous grin. Raising his swords, the pair charged each other again.

✦

In the midst of a war, there wasn’t much space for fun. With the constant movement between the Western Air Temple and many significant locations to build their defences after the Day of Black Sun, Y/N found she hardly had time for anything other than training and strategizing. Sure, she may be considered meek when compared to her peers, but her mind was sharper than her blade.

After watching Aang master firebending, Sokka masterminding a prison break, and Katara nearly murdering a man – all with Zuko’s help – she had some whiplash. She might even say that she had been somewhat blindsided by them, but she didn’t particularly mind. It was when they moved onto Ember Island, however, that Y/N found there to be an issue. In all the excitement, or terror, of being separated from Haru and the others, and possibly murdering Sparky Sparky Boom Man, the gang ended up hiding out on Ember Island.

Spirits, did Y/N love the sunshine. The sand? Not so much, nor the swimsuits. Nevertheless, she much preferred it to Aang’s beloved ancestral temple.

“Okay,” Zuko said as they all collected together in the house, “So there’s a bit of an issue.”

“Fire Nation?” Katara asked, eyes narrowing.

“Worse,” Zuko said, voice grave. “There are seven of us, and only six beds.”

The teenagers all looked between each other with varying looks of embarrassment and disgust. It was Toph who spoke first.

“Well, I for one do not want to share a room,” She scoffed, stomping her foot – a reminder of her power. “I can already hear all of you when we sleep on the ground. I am not missing out on my chance for a quiet night of sleep.”

“That seems fair,” Zuko hummed as he pulled a hat off of a dresser. “Everyone else, unless they have some reason why not, will put their name in here.”

Sokka whined, pointing his finger at the heir of the Fire Nation. “Fine! But they should get the biggest bedroom.”

Y/N swore Zuko smirked. “Done.”

Sat on the floor watching him write names, the group waited anxiously to see who would be sharing a room at least for that night. Mixing up bits of paper, he seemed to be building up some bravado, akin to a showman about to pull a jackalope out of a hat.

“Sokka.”

The boy cursed under his breath as Zuko continued on with his little show, the piece of paper disintegrating as easily as a leaf floating in a breeze.

“And Y/N!”

She met Zuko’s eye, entire body hot, sending a psychic message along the lines of sprits, no, Zuko, no, please, Zuko, don’t do this.

Despite the fact that Y/N knew Sokka was only joking with his teasing, somewhere along the line she had ended up falling for it – for him. It was sudden and violent, the way a meteor crashed through the atmosphere, roaring, brilliant, and completely obliterating anything in its path. Currently, Y/N was that metaphorical meteorite, burning up and crashing into the earth.

Since Zuko apparently couldn’t read minds, she chanced a glance at Sokka. She expected some sort of joke, a quip, anything. Instead, he was deadly silent, stony in his face, staring too at Zuko. Was he blushing, or was she making it up in her head? This question soon slipped from her brain as she those baby blue eyes were staring straight at her.

Tui and La, Agni, spirits above; he hated her.

“Cool!” She said, though it came out more like a squeak. “I’ll see you tonight, I guess.”

“Y/N, we have the entire day before- “

She cut Suki off. “Yep, busy today! Busy, busy, busy. Plenty of strategic planning to do before the big day!”

And she was gone. Even Aang, renowned creator of the air scooter, had never seen a person move so fast, and Y/N wasn’t even a bender. In her haste, she didn’t catch the sly looks, nor the disapproving one courtesy of Katara. She definitely didn’t catch the shy grin on Sokka’s face, muddled with complete embarrassment. Getting as far away from the house as possible was her current goal, and she achieved it with insane speed – and longevity.

For an entire day, Y/N managed to see none of her friends, excluding Appa and Momo. Her animal friends seemed very concerned and very interested in her noughts and crosses diagrams in the black volcanic sand of Ember Island. It was only when Yue began to rise above the horizon that she thought it would be safe to come out. With what felt like a walk of shame, she trekked back to the beach house, a sleeping Momo cradled in her arms like a baby. Even Appa, who had been occupied with all sorts of made-up games throughout the day, was beginning to sway, eyes drooping, weighed down by sleep. Settling them down in the warm sand, Y/N climbed the wooden stairs.

Being quiet used to get her everywhere unseen; it didn’t work that night. Wordless, her friends’ good night wishes falling on deaf ears, she entered the biggest bedroom, alone. Falling face first onto the bed, she muffled a frustrated scream into one of the too many decadent pillows adorning it. Heaving herself onto her back, Y/N groaned dramatically with the effort it took. This bed was so soft. She tried to think of a more comfy, luxurious bed she had ever been on – and failed. The four-poster frame was casting odd shadows across the dark room. It felt especially lonely.

She felt especially lonely.

Sitting up, a low rumble filled the silence. Her stomach was apparently rather unhappy with the distinct lack of food during the day. Y/N had forgotten about that. She weighed up the options; go out and face embarrassment, or skip dinner for the first time in her life. Fortunately, she needn’t think long.

“So, everyone’s going to bed, and I remembered you hadn’t eaten.”

Sokka.

Of course.

“Oh,” Was all she could manage, mentally kicking herself for her utter lack of articulation. “Th-thanks, Sokka.”

Flicking on the light, the shadows no longer seemed odd, nor did the room feel lonely. There, in the doorway, stood Sokka. He was pretty – something that always took Y/N by surprise even though she saw him every day. Sure, he hadn’t grown into his gangly limbs yet, but he was getting there. His shoulders had gotten broader, his arms larger from training. She couldn’t help but imagine how comfy he’d be to lie against, how warm his hold would be.

“I brought snacks?”

Opening her mouth only to close it again, Y/N felt like a fish thrown mercilessly out of water. Instead, she managed a timid pat on the bed. He was slow to react, slower to move, and she only felt more inadequate. Whatever Zuko thought he saw at the temple was wrong.

“Wow, this bed is soft,” Sokka gasped, bouncing lightly on it like a small child. “It’s like sitting on a cloud!”

Y/N couldn’t stop the giggle that passed her lips as she took a slice of fruit from the platter he had brought in. For the briefest moment, infinitesimally small, Sokka ceased with his childish antics and just looked. Brightening, he seemed to thrive – delight – in her laughter, continuing to goof about with the numerous pillows and posh looking decor.

“Whoa.”

Y/N looked up at him from her laughing, stomach aching with joy. “What?”

“I didn’t know you could get prettier,” He said, brows furrowed, eyes sparkling.

She turned mute in an instant, feeling that all too familiar flush again, only this time it was close – more intense. Silent, she took another piece of fruit, eating it in moments, anything to give her time. “You’re teasing me again, aren’t you?”

He frowned. “What? No. I’m not- “

“It’s okay if you are!” Y/N insisted, her smile plastered on and her heart aching. “I know you joke about with us all, and it’s just how you are. It’s not a bad thing, and I know you’re just joking and- “

“Y/N,” Sokka said, almost incredulous. “I’m not joking. I have never joked about that kind of thing with you.”

She stopped dead. “What?”

It wasn’t a question – well, not to Sokka at least. That one word was her address to the universe. It was astonishment, frustration, incredulity, sheer joy, so many emotions all wrapped into one simple word. The moments that passed between that word and their locked gaze spoke a thousand more words, sang a hundred more emotions.

“You didn’t know?”

Her head was empty. “Prettier?”

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Sokka chuckled weakly, moving the platter to the side.

“Prettier,” Y/N repeated slowly, looking up at him, “As in I was already pretty?”

“Erm, yes?”

“You think I’m pretty?”

“Tui and La, yes.”

Oh.

“Okay,” She said, testing the waters, “And you like it when I blush?”

“Yeah, you look cute,” He admitted, sheepish as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Looking down, bashful, she recalled training with Zuko. “The word you used was adorable.”

No words came in response to that, only a gentle hand on her cheek. Guiding her face up, Sokka looked at her and saw her. Y/N could see him reaching for words that danced in his mind and away from his grasp, so many more pretty, teasing words he could say. But he wasn’t teasing, not really. He certainly wasn’t when he pressed his lips to hers. It was sweet and easy to melt into; she didn’t need to be shy, not with him.

They shared more sweet kisses, laughing under the moonlight in that fancy bed they got to share. Fruit, a bed, kisses; they shared them all, drifting into an easy sleep as the moon began to slip away into daylight. Basking in the prospect of a lazy morning, they made the most of it.

They weren’t even mad when they found out Zuko rigged the entire thing.

#atla #fic request #anon request #sokka x reader #sokka x shy!reader #the beach #sokka #platonic zuko x reader #fluff #aang #katara #toph #suki #oneshot #missturtleduck

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chiliadhand · 3 years ago

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finally fucking satisfied with the enstars translations i've saved . . . . . 132 total, almost half. i saved pretty much every story that has anything to do with knights, rab*its, MaM, and valkyrie; plus a lot of ryuseitai, finé, and akatsuki stuff, probably most of it. most of the stories are from 2017-2018, the golden age of enstars imho, and there's nothing from after 2019 because i am and always will be a stuck-up purist with no interest in the neo-enstars nonsense they're churning out nowadays (and anyway the newer stuff is generally much easier to find in twitter threads and the like.) honestly i want to keep going bc there's still a bunch of stories i didn't save which i don't personally care about, but which i still consider valuable in a general sense and don't want to lose access to . . . . . but i've got a bad headache after doing this literally all last night and this morning, and i have to remind myself most of that stuff's still gonna be on dreamwidth anyway. unless it was translated by royalquintet what the hell happened to that guy. but it's okay bc they mostly did knights stuff and i saved all that.

anyway i'm gonna take a break for today and then tomorrow i'll start taking inventory and organizing some kind of well-annotated master document so i don't just have this disorderly pile of fiction in my college google drive. (i used my college google drive bc it has infinite space lol. eventually i'm going to have to transfer it all over to my personal drive so i don't lose it when i graduate but this was an emergency situation and i didn't have the time to make space in my personal drive.)

now i'm just reflecting on how much i care about enstars to do something like this lol. copying down hundreds upon hundreds of wiki pages into hastily labeled google docs definitely doesn't fit my typical definition of a worthwhile way to spend my time. and since i'm obsessed with using my time on this earth wisely, it's usually really tough for me to emotionally justify it when i feel like i've sacrificed time and energy for the sake of something indulgent and whimsical. but i don't feel at all like i've wasted my time. enstars is such a bizarre work of fiction and certain aspects of it are worthless garbage but i feel like overall it's something so special and remarkable that would be a terrible shame to lose. a story and mode of storytelling which could only have possibly emerged from that precise cultural moment; which only functions on the level it does thanks to the efforts of countless skilled individuals who give way more of a shit than is sensible or explicable; and which, throughout all that, (mostly) constitutes a superlatively fun and compelling narrative which uses rich philosophical inquest and lovingly realized characters to elevate a campy and cartoonish teen soap opera to the level of high art. it's something so marvelously human and frankly i think everyone should see it

anyway lol

#dialogue #enst*rs

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vortomorto · 4 years ago

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Hi vortomorto, I’m so sorry these anons have been so demanding, especially when English isn’t ur first language. U don’t have to answer them, ur mental health comes first! Anyway I totally get what ur saying, there’s a lot of nuance when it comes to being a person that many young, impressionable kids idolise/imitate, + it’s unfair to think “celebs” are perfect bc they’re not, they will make mistakes and should be criticised for them, + we don’t know what happens in private.

thank you for this, i appreciate it. 💖💖 i have to google so many words while writing, its so frustrating

it must be hard, especially for young youtubers who blew up out of nowhere. its even harder when people slap the "unproblematic fave" label on them, bc they are human and as humans we are inherently flawed. the internet especially tends to find some people to idolize and as soon as they get bored, they find someone else. thats why youtubers constantly stage drama, they want to stay relevant.

female celebs especially have to either constantly change their appearance and their material or fade away. (i tried to find a video i watched a long time ago about how hollywood treats women who are over 30 years old but all i got was some "mens rights activists" and a "mature" playlist 🤢🤢) female singers have to change their sound and their persona or else they get left behind.

a good example is how fans treated emma chamberlain for not showering for two days vs shane dawson, a millionaire who looks like..he doesnt know what hygiene is. in emma's case, she was the butt of every joke, in shane's case, he was in a bad place and anyone who made fun of him was a monster(obviously, im not shaming people with depression, im talking about how people treated them completely different. i would prefer if people minded their business in both cases)

ofc even men struggle. a good example is alex, who always gets the most shit. it really bothers that alex and hyojin got the most backlash from the ***** situation, makes you wonder 🧐 (and yes, i still have a soft spot for alex even though i dont watch him anymore, im also a flawed human being)

its hard to be a role model. and thats why they need to be called out or else they think that they are doing a good job. i remember when alex was called out about something (dont remember what exactly, our boy has done some wild shit) and he went live (cause thats what he does) and started ranting. i remember him saying something about "real fans" and it really rubbed me the wrong way (we had a conversation about it on wattpad, it wasnt just me). just bc someone called you out doesnt mean they are not a "real fan" whatever that means. if anything, it means the complete opposite.

its hard to criticize celebrities who are loved bc 1.stans might not like it and 2.a lot of the time celebrities themselves cant take criticism

as i said, i have/had a soft spot for alex but for a commentary channel he sure doesnt like being criticized. i hope that as he gets older he realizes that a lot of people are just looking out for him and want to see him do better (see: jackmaate situation)

its hard when the world has an opinion on everything. when they talk about whose fault was it that two people broke up, when they think youre dating someone, when they wonder about your parents etc. of course its hard. and if i may add, its also really toxic. we are all seeing rn what charli damelio is going through. its awful.

we cant demand perfection, because thats impossible. but we have the right to ask them to do better, especially with a past like theirs (use of the n word, use of the d slur etc). im just tired of waiting for them to do better.

#the way everyone calls me vortomorto #call me el please #anon ask #ask answered #el speaks #rants n rambles #memeulous #imallexx #memeulous critical #willne #eboys #shane dawson #emma chamberlain #charli damelio #yt #george memeulous #in hindsight #i shouldnt have mentioned wattpad

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ayy-spec · 4 years ago

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Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

· to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

· :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

· i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way.

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

#survey results #aphobia cw

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retro-rezz-the-est · 5 years ago

Text

The Right Alpha pt. 2 (Drew/Reader/Roman A/B/O)

Summary: A/B/O action with Drew and Ro accompanied by real time plot lmao. No smut this time, but plenty of angst and fluff.

(A/N: I wanted to get this out for my birthday and for the 500 followers milestone last week but since I’m a lazy piece of shit who’s brain doesn’t work properly, I forgot lol. So here it is! Thanks once again for 500+ and let’s hope that I haven’t lost my marbles due to VKM’s crap by the next milestone. God bless @writinglionqueen and @writing-reigns for being my betas and my support system throughout this. Love y’all both! ^3^)

Warnings: a lot of harassment/sexual harassment, brief flashbacks of the douchebag ex from the first part and Roman and Drew bc they should come with their own warning labels lmao

Word Count: 6728

Read part one here

(Y/n): your name

~~~~~

“You sure you don’t need anything tonight?” Roman asked.

“Trust me, Ro, I’ll be fine,” you said, holding your phone to your ear as you walked towards the backstage door. Even though Ro was still scheduled to be at tonight’s show, he still had yet to show up to the arena. Duffel in hand, you shouldered the door open and were met with the bustling sounds of the production team and the stagehands prepping for that night’s SmackDown Live taping.

You heard him chuckle in your ear. “If you say so, baby girl. Love you.”

“Love you too, Big Dog.”

Your heart felt light as you ended the call, sighing to yourself and holding the phone to your chest. You’ve been floating on air since Roman and Drew confronted you in that hallway after RAW a few months ago and with the implementation of the new, albeit incredibly stupid, “wild card rule”, you were able to spend more time with your Alphas. For the first time since jumping ship to the blue brand thanks to the new rule, you felt…

...happy.

You were actually eager to come into work that day, mentally preparing for your tag match with Bayley against Alexa and Nikki Cross. Sporting one of the merch tees you stole from Ro and a pair of jean shorts, you tried to maneuver your way around everyone and make it to the women’s locker room in one piece. You tugged on it and bought the collar to your face, inhaling and smiling as the scent of your alpha washed over you.

You really have it bad, don’t you? you asked yourself, your thoughts taking over.

Yep, and I don’t mind one bit.

You didn’t notice the figure in front of you until you crashed into them nose-first, bashing your head against the back of theirs.

“Shit,” you said, pocketing your cell as you tried to speak with a mouth full of hair. “Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention!”

“It’s ok, girl. I shouldn’t have been standing around like an idiot,” the voice replied, their body turning to face you.

The now-revealed Smackdown Women’s Champ ran a hand through her long hair and smiled at you, taking her other hand off of her suitcase’s handle briefly to give you one of her iconic hugs. When you first transferred from the Monday show, the Beta was the first person to show you any sort of kindness. So, the two of you became fast friends, looking out for each other both in and out of the ring. “So, how’s my fave tag team partner doing?”

“I’m doing well, actually,” you replied as you started off on you way again, her trailing closely behind you. “SmackDown’s a lot more chill than Raw is, to be honest.”

She let out another short laugh. “You’re not wrong here, (Y/n), but the wild card rule keeps shaking everything up around here.”

“Ugh, tell me about it. If I keep having to see the same people getting pushed when there’s quality talent just sitting back here, I’m gonna pull my hair out.”

“I know, right? I’d love to face some of the other girls here, like Kairi or Ember,” she added, unzipping her dark grey hoodie.

You raised your brow at her suggestions and noted, “I would actually pay to see those matches happen.”

“Well, at least it hasn’t been all that bad lately. You still get to see your mates every day thanks to the rule,” she sighed in content and looked at you. “I’m literally so jealous of you. Two mates! How do you guys even function?”

You started to ramble on about your relationship with the two Superstars as the two of you continued to walk down to the locker rooms, but you soon noticed Bayley glancing at you funny.

“What?” you asked her, brushing yourself off. “Is there something on me? Is there something on my face?”

“Nah, there isn’t. I was just hoping that you were gonna get into the more… juicy details,” she cheekily wondered, a sly grin plastered on her face.

“B-Bayley! I’m not gonna gossip about my sex life here! There are three topics you don’t talk about at work: politics, religion, and sex!”

“Aww, come on, live a little!” the beta whined. “Just this one little thing? For me?”

She already knew the answer the moment she looked back at your face, pouting in defeat. She made a move for her pocket and paused, feeling around in it when her eyes went wide.

“What’s wrong, Bayley?”

Groaning, she answered, “My hair ties. I think I left them with that stagehand I bumped into when I got here about an hour ago. Can you wait for me here and watch my bag while I try to find them? I promise I won’t be gone for long.”

“Of course,” you responded as she handed her small suitcase over to you. She shouted a “thank you” in your direction as she ran off and turned a corner.

You dropped your duffel on top of her suitcase and pulled your phone back out and leaned up against the wall behind you, scrolling through your old texts as you drowned out the hustle and bustle around you. You opened your group chat with Drew and Ro, giggling at how they both complained about working with Shane and his behavior.

Reading through the messages, you didn’t notice the shadow that had just loomed over your body. A hand slapped the wall next to your head, but you didn’t want to look up. You didn’t want to look up because you already knew who it was.

Speak of the fucking devil.

“Hello, (Y/n).”

You could already hear the sickly sweet adoration dripping from his voice, but you still didn’t look at him when you responded. “What the hell do you want, Shane?”

“Woah there, Omega. Is that any way to speak to your boss? I feel offended,” he said, his voice still filled with endless loads of fakeness. You could smell the cockiness rolling off him in waves, so much so that you had to hold your breath whenever he was around. The hand on the wall was slowly moving closer to your head and you could hear it, and you hoped to whoever’s above that someone would do something about it.

But no one ever did.

You could feel your hands starting to tremble as he leaned closer to your face. “I was just gonna ask where your two big, bad Alphas were, sweetheart. There’s no harm in that.”

The weight of his leer felt like a brick pressing against your forehead and you kept getting whiffs of want her and mine that you sure as hell didn’t need today. The Alpha above you moved a piece of hair away from your face and chuckled at your hesitance, already familiar with it.

“Y-You should already know where Drew is, you prick. And Ro’s here as well. He’s just not… here… right now.”

Your wolf was going absolutely batshit at the sight of him, and the thought of him touching you made it even more ravenous.

Hit him! Tear into his smug face! Kick him in the balls! Tell him off! Do something already!

You could feel your teeth start to grow sharper as he chuckled again, his free hand descending to your waist while the other made its way to the back of your head. You could feel his gaze lingering in your cleavage, and you felt more exposed than before.

Why can’t he just leave me alone, for fuck’s sake?

“Oh, he’s not here right now? What a shame. Truly,” he said teasingly. Shane’s hands gripped you tighter as he pulled you closer to him, forcing you to look up at him and drop your phone to the floor with a clatter. His eyes were malicious, but they held in them a caring look so fake and plastic that it made you sick.

Your entire body shuddered as you looked into his empty eyes. “Yeah, he’s not here now. So, w-what do you want from me, S-Shane?”

It was still shocking how no one passing by saw him do this to you. It still shocked you how no one interfered with him tormenting you like this.

“You know what I want, (Y/n). Just say yes and I’ll go.”

Resisting the urge to scoff, you uttered, “The fucking answer’s still no and you know why.”

“Aww, come on, live a little!” he whined, mocking Bayley’s earlier comment and making you cringe. “I could show you a really fun time.”

He managed to pull you even closer to his chest and he leaned down to your ear. “Just picture it: a night out celebrating with me and Drew after beating your pathetic, waste of space mate to a pulp once again. And as the night grows even later, we could get more… intimate, if you will.”

Don’t say anything, you told your wolf despite the immediate pushback from it. Shane’s breath was near potent and you actually felt the need to eject a wave of vomit onto his Jordans. Keep quiet and don’t make this any worse for me.

“Plus, seeing as those two idiots haven’t even claimed you yet, I can show that Scottish dud how it’s really done.”

Gripping your hair, he yanked your head back and bashed your head on the wall, ogling at your unmarked neck while you hissed in pain. With your arms stuck against his body, his head fell and he drew his nose over the skin. “You’d love being mine, Omega. I’d treat you right, unlike those absolute brutes you have for mates.”

Don’t do anything because if you do, then you’ll bite his nose off and we’ll be out of a job.

“What do you say, (Y/n)? You wanna take this for a test drive?”

His wedding band started to dig into your side through your shirt and you yelped, telling him, “You shouldn’t be doing this, Shane. You’re married, right? And you have pups?”

He roared with laughter at your comment, and all you wanted to do in that moment was curl into a ball and hide with your mates at your side. He responded with a large grin, saying, “And what about it, sweetheart? She doesn’t have to know now, does she?”

Moving up to your jaw from your neck, his lips brushed against your cheek as he added, “And besides, you like knowing that, don’t you?”

Before he could move closer to your own mouth, his own phone rang and you thanked every deity in existence that he released you and moved away to take the call.

“We’ll finish this conversation later, (Y/n). I’ll see you around.”

Holding the phone to his ear, he brushed off his chest with his free hand and casually walked away, you looking bewildered as he did so. You felt nauseous and dirty, feeling your now sharpened nails digging into the palms of your hands as you curled them into fists.

You hated this.

You’ve hated it since he started this little “game” of his a month ago, and you sure as hell hate it now. You hated how easily he could corner you and make you feel as vulnerable and weak as a small child. And you couldn’t even do anything about it because he was your fucking boss!

Your wolf howled in anger, letting out kill and must tell mates with every other breath. Everything around you continued as normal, but you knew that it was far from it. Your eyes burned with the feeling of unfallen tears and you could feel your breath grow faint when a familiar voice reared in the background.

“Hey, (Y/n)! I’m back! Sorry I took so long, the stagehand wasn’t in the spot where I had found them originally and I had to go searching for them again but that took ages-”

Bayley stopped her mini rant and took a good look at you, your entire attitude seeming to deflate since she had left originally.

“Hey, are you okay?” the Beta asked you. “You look...sick. Like you’ve just seen a ghost or something.”

Blinking the tears away, you forced a laugh out and moved your hands behind your back. “It’s fine. I’m just… just a little nervous about tonight. It’s my first time going against Alexa and I want my first match with her to go well.”

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be fi- oh my god, (Y/n)!)”

You quickly looked around, eyes wide with shock. “What? What happened? What is it?”

“Your hands!”

“My wha- oh.”

Drops of blood were currently dripping from your fists and onto the floor, making small puddles at your sides. You didn’t feel the bite of your nails digging into your skin, but you chuckled nervously and tried to hide them again. She grabbed your wrists in one hand and reached for her bag with the other.

“We have to get these cleaned and wrapped before out match tonight. Come on!” she told you, hoisting your bag onto her shoulder and dragging you by your wrist to the medical personnel with her free hand.

~~~~~

“Haha, take that, Bliss! You’re never getting your hands on this!” Bayley exclaimed at the blonde as the woman clutched her sides at the champ’s feet, you raising her arm above her head in victory. Moments later, Nikki slid into the ring as soon as you two slipped out of it.

Bayley gave you a hug as she started to make her way up the ramp with her title held high, Bliss and Cross limping back up a few minutes later. You, however, walked in the direction of the announce table where an empty chair and headset were waiting for you. You gave a brief greeting to Graves, Saxton and Philips before situating yourself next to the first man.

The last match of the night was a one-on-one bout between Ro and Shane and as always, Shane cockily walked out to the ring with Drew in tow to the sounds of boos from the crowd and his “best in the world” introduction. Drew grabbed two mics for him and Shane before they both climbed into the ring, looking like they absolutely owned the place. It would’ve made you smile if it weren’t for him being the lackey at the likes of Shane.

Shane raised his to his mouth and was about to talk, but he was interrupted by the blaring sound of Roman’s theme. He came out with a smirk on his face and you could almost hear the thud of his boots as he stalked to the ring.

He threw you a wink when he made it to the ropes closest to you and you smiled, hearing the ref signal for the bell and seeing Shane immediately rush at him from behind. He threw his forearm into the back of Roman’s head and crippled him, making you gasp. Drew applauded at ringside and the two of you locked eyes.

You shuddered under his intense gaze and you quickly looked away just in time to see Shane stomping out Roman, your mate groaning as his heel connected with his chest. You glanced away from the match briefly to discuss other matters with your fellow commentators (minus Graves, of course) before turning back and seeing Shane glaring directly at you, the look in his eyes making feel nauseous as you wrap your arms around your torso.

He winked at you like Roman had, taking his time raking those eyes along your figure and Roman was quick to notice. The Samoan bared his teeth and growled as he began to let out his wolf and rose from the ring floor, charging at Shane and spearing his head into the ringpost he was closest to. As the grey-haired Alpha started to regain his senses again, he threw his chest back and howled with the rest of the Universe and speared Shane again. The match was over before you could even blink, and Roman quickly pinned the other Alpha to pick up the win.

Huh, Shane’s off his game tonight. Good, you thought as you heard the three-count and you stood to clap for your mate. Taking off your headset and thanking the three men at commentary, you made your way into the ring and took Roman’s arm to raise it.

You two quickly moved out of it and began walking up the ramp side by side, his arm thrown around your shoulders and your own wrapped around his waist. Glancing behind you, you saw the dirty look Shane threw you and you smiled internally at that, claiming it as a small victory over him.

He pulled you aside near some supply crates as you made it backstage, bringing you into his chest while you inhaled his familiar scent. It had momentarily calmed your nerves down, being there with him, but they were briskly replaced by a new feeling of dread when he moved your hands from around him and looked down at your bandaged hands.

“How’d this happen, Omega?” Roman asked, worry making his brows furrow. “Did you hurt yourself?”

He started to rub at where the skin of your palms would be as you answered him. “Yeah, I did. I was nervous my match and I didn’t notice my nails digging into my hands. Bayley bandaged me up well, so I should be fine.”

You and your own wolf felt bad for lying to him about them, but you didn’t need him going after Shane with a death wish in tow and getting fired because of it.

This is better, you assumed, seeing his eyes grow soft. It’s better for all of us.

“I’m just glad that you were able to pin Shane tonight,” You raised your hands to cup his face and he nuzzled himself into them, making you chuckle. “Lord knows he needs to be put in his place.”

Roman laughed as you said the last bit under your breath, squeezing your waist before lifting his hands to move yours from his face. “Speaking of Shane,” he questioned, looking down at you with concern in his warm brown eyes, “what was that wink all about during the match? Is there something you’re not telling me, baby girl?”

“What? No,” you scoffed, answering him quickly. “Shane’s just being his usual dickish self in order to get under your skin and make you mad. Nothing more.”

The quickness of your response made the Alpha quirk his brow for a second when he smelled hurt and shame wafting off of you but he brushed it off, agreeing with you. You rose onto your toes and planted a kiss to his cheek, saying, “Now, you wait for Drew here while I go and get our things ready, ok?”

You let go of him and began walking away, hearing him reply with a “yes ma’am” and pivoting on your heel to see him throw up a faux salute in your direction. His eyes lingered on you even as your figure grew smaller until you finally turned a corner.

Your heart wanted to fall out of your chest and flop around on the floor when he asked you about your hands, and even more so when he asked about Shane’s shitty excuse of a wink. But, you persisted, even though your wolf continued to berate you about the situation.

Lying will not make this better. Makes it worse for you and mates. You’ll see.

~~~~~

Since your tag match with Bayley against Bliss and Cross went over so well on SmackDown, you were told that you had to give a dual promo with the blonde Omega the next week on the red brand.

You arrived to the arena dressed in a casual black tank with some skinny jeans, your sweater tied around your waist. Since the skin on your hands was starting to heal and you didn’t want to encounter Shane again, you decided to take the longer route to the locker room instead, using as many of the hallways as you could. He was always lingering somewhere on both shows and was always eager to find you, and you weren’t taking any chances.

A few minutes had passed since you’d seen anyone and you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding in. Turning down another empty hall, you felt a presence trailing behind you as you walked, but you paid it no mind. Then, a rough hand grasped your shoulder and spun you around.

“Thought you could run away from me, little Omega?”

How in the absolute hell?!

Your eyes went wide when he spun you around and pinned your arms to your sides. Shane moved in closer and you had the incredible urge to just raise your head and scratch his face up with your teeth.

“H-How did you find me?”

His laughter bounced off the concrete walls, making your bones vibrate. “I told you last week that we’d finish our conversation later. And to me, ‘later’ means ‘right fucking now’.”

He laughed again at your lack of words, your mouth slightly agape and hyperventilating. You were smart in that you didn’t ball your hands up as to not puncture the skin of your palms again, but you were damn near close to.

You could feel his hands sliding up your bare arms and situate themselves at the base of your neck, his thumbs drawing figures along your collarbone. All you could see was his smug grin, complete with eyes that were filled with absolutely zero remorse for what he was doing.

“Why do you do this to m-me, Shane? What did I do to you?”

This caught his attention. “You haven’t done anything yet, but you will.”

Huh?

“Like I said numerous times before, you’ll need a real Alpha like myself to show you the ropes. You’ll need me to claim you and show you how to be a good-”

He talked to you as if you were an incompetent child, and his hold on you grew tighter with every word. You began to struggle and try to get yourself out and away from him, but to no avail.

This hurts.

“- obedient -”

Pain.

“- little Omega for me, (Y/n).”

Struggling became useless as your breathing became quicker and quicker with each passing second and you shut your eyes tight, feeling them shift along with your teeth. His words were reminiscent of those from your ex-lover, and you couldn’t help but see blood red all over at the sound of them.

All you could think of was how dirty your ex made you feel, putting you down constantly with his hurtful, disgusting actions and words, and he made you feel the exact same way that he had and you wanted him to. You had to physically hold yourself back from pouncing on him and dragging his face into the ground.

Get him now!

“Shane? Shane, where th’ fuck are ya? We’re on in thirty bloody minutes!”

Oh, thank the gods above.

Shane groaned and released you abruptly, causing you to stagger back. “Fucking hell, Drew.”

The large Scottish Alpha’s feet reverberated off the walls around you and he turned the corner closest to you two, looking around. He spotted you both and stomped over, clearly pissed off with Shane.

“What th’ hell, man?! Ya say you were gonna meet me here, an’ then you just rush out like a bat outta hell!”

Dressed in a simple white tee and jeans with a leather jacket on top, he curled his hands and growled, letting off more feral scents combined with his usual one. Through his frustration, he saw the glow of your shifting eyes and how much you were trembling, accompanied by the growing of your nails at your sides.

Eyes flickering between the two of you, he looked at the other Alpha and grimaced. “And what were ya doin’ all alone here with my mate, Shane? I thought I told ya she’s taken.”

The other man chuckled nervously as you cupped your neck, feeling the imprints from his fingers already beginning to bloom into small bruises.

“We weren’t doing anything, McIntyre. I just caught up with her and was just politely asking her a question about her new feud with Alexa. Isn’t that tight, (Y/n)?”

You nearly barfed at his piss poor attempt at being nice, but you decided to play along. “Yeah,” you murmured, willing your eyes to fade to their normal hue and your nails and teeth to shrink down. “We’re all good here.”

You feigned another laugh and quickly put your sweater on, zipping it up fully to keep your skin hidden. Drew looked as if he didn’t buy any of it but soon turned around, grabbing Shane by the collar and dragging him away.

“Woah, hey now, watch the shirt! This thing is worth more than your monthly salary!”

“Cut th’ shit,” the Scot grumbled, stomping away with him in tow. “We’re already running behind schedule and I don’t need t’ hear your daddy runnin’ his mouth at me again.”

And with that, the duo disappeared behind another wall, their voices fading into nothing while you stumbled back into the wall behind you, clutching your chest and feeling your heart race.

“Great,” you muttered, briskly walking in the opposite direction of them. “Hope the Glam Squad has enough concealer to cover these up.”

Your promo was one of the first segments of the night and you were finished with it relatively quickly, getting a fairly good reaction from the crowd when the other woman had come out to do her bit. You were glad everything went smoothly once you finished and when you finally got backstage, you started to make the journey back to get the remainder of your things and head back to the hotel.

You made it to the women’s locker room and shut the door, grabbing your sweater and bending down to stuff it into the bag you had Natalya bring for you. You got out your phone to text your mates and ask them when they were going to be finished when the door behind you creaked open, twin footfalls thudding on the floor. Their scent slowly filled the room surrounded you before you saw them and you relaxed your shoulders.

“Hey, are you guys finished for the night? I was gonna text you to see when you-”

You pivoted on your heel to face the two large Alphas with a grin on your face, Roman dressed in a long sleeved black tee and shorts and Drew in the outfit you saw him in earlier. They stared back at you intensely, Roman crossing his arms and Drew moving to go lock the door.

You shuddered under their intense glares, asking, “Is everything okay?”

Roman was the first one to speak, uncrossing his arms and walking over to you. He moved your bag and took your hand, sitting you down on the bench behind you as the Scot watched from the door.

“Me and Drew were talking earlier, and we feel like you’re hiding something from us, ‘mega.”

Oh, help me now.

“Me? Hiding something from you two?” you pondered, scoffing and chuckling anxiously. “Everything’s totally fine. Trust me.”

“And there it is again,” he shot back, “you’re doing that thing again. You’ve been acting skittish and dodging our questions for almost a month now. Why won’t you tell us what’s wrong?”

He was confused, and you could clearly see the hurt in his eyes when you looked into them. But you couldn’t bring yourself to tell them yet.

Do it.

“I mean, was it something that we said? Something we did?”

“N-No, of course not, Ro! You know you’d never do anything to hurt me! You both wouldn’t!”

You sighed and took your hands out of his, placing them on your head as your eyes fell to your lap. It took everything in you not to burst out into a fiery mix or rage and tears. “Look, I already told you guys before. It’s noth-”

A loud bang brought you back from your stupor and you yelped, jumping out of your skin and directing your attention to the door. Drew stood there with the side of his fist against the door, and there was a crack emulating from the impact.

“Enough of this, (Y/n). We’re your Alphas, your mates. You’re supposed t’ tell us when something’s up. Why’re ya hidin’ from us?” he whispered, his voice cracking near the end.

Drew didn’t really express his more sentimental emotions outright but when he did, it absolutely crushed you. You could see your mates hurting - feel them hurting - and they were slowly chipping away at your walls. The silence after he spoke was deafening and you knew that if a pin fell then, you would hear it.

Every second felt like a minute and every minute felt like an eternity until you opened your mouth again.

“I don’t want you both to think that I’m a bad Omega for not saying something sooner.”

Your soft voice prompted Drew to move away from the door and kneel down to your height, placing both of his hands on your thigh. “Leannan (sweetheart), nothing ya say right now will make us ever think that. You’re our mate, and ya should be able to tell us anything plaguin’ ya.”

“We love you, (Y/n), and we do care,” Roman added, moving his hand to cup your cheek. “You don’t have to tell us everything if it’s too much, but at least give us something.”

Tick.

The fuse was lit.

Boom.

With that permission, you didn’t notice how quickly your body shifted into attack mode and you hastily stood, knocking your bag over.

“It’s fucking Shane’s fucking fault!” you barked, baring your teeth and nails to no one. “He keeps on stalking me and harassing me and bothering me and saying how much fucking better he’d be as my mate!”

You moved from the bench and began to pace the room, huffing and blocking out all outside noises as you continued to rant. “That little rich shitbag thinks he can do all of this over and over again with no consequence, and he thinks that he can just grab me and toss me around like I’m some useless thing! It makes me feel sick and dirty and… argh!”

The two Alphas jumped when you kicked a nearby locker, putting a dent in the shape of your foot in it. “I want to claw his eyes and scratch his smug stupid face! I hate it when he says that he’s gonna ‘show me the ropes’ and fucking claim me as his own when he’s got a whole wife and pups!”

You paused to catch your breath but you couldn’t stop the tears that were burning your eyes from falling. Your back hit the wall and you slid to the floor, cradling your face in your hands.

“I just… what did I do to deserve any of this?”

Your mates rushed to your sides as you cried, Drew holding you to his chest as you let the tears flow. You could feel Drew's heart beat faster and faster and you could feel Roman's heavy breathing on your neck.

The Samoan stood up and looked at your wrecked form, growling. You could see his eyes dilated and flash gold for a second before he turned away from you and unlocked the door, almost ripping it from its hinges as he stormed out with murder on his mind.

“Shane! Where the fuck are you, you bastard?! I’m gonna tear you apart!”

Oh fuck, you though, untangling yourself from Drew and getting up as quickly as you could to follow him. You two scrambled outside to find the wild Alpha and spotted him barreling through anyone who dared to get in his way as he continued to shout.

“Everyone get the hell out of my way! Where’s Shane?! I’m gonna fucking kill him!”

You ran after him, shoving past poor stagehands and other Superstars to get to your angered mate. Reaching him, you took his wrist and spun him around, seeing his eyes blown out to a full gold. His chest heaved with every harsh breath, and you could see veins popping out of his neck from how hard he was clenching his teeth.

“You see? This is why I didn’t tell you in the first place! I didn’t want you to go on a murder-happy fucking rampage and lose your damn job!”

“She’s got a point,” Drew added, firmly grasping Ro’s other wrist. “You need to think!”

He was having none of it. “He hurt my mate, our mate, and that waste of space needs to pay! I’ll find him and rip out his eyes myself.”

It scared you how aggressive he was when he meant it, but you stood your ground. “You’re not the only one who wants to kill that bag of human scum, Roman, but we do have to be smart about this.”

“We can deal with him next week,” you sighed. “Just… just calm down, please.”

No! Now! Get him now!

Drew nodded, agreeing with you and helping you to pull the other man back in the opposite go get the rest of your things even though he continued to try and escape. You smiled to yourself, though, at the thought of the things you were going to do to Vince’s son in the near future.

~~~~~

For the next week, your two mates didn’t leave your side for a second, with Roman escorting you out to the ring for your match on SmackDown the next night and Drew acting as your personal bodyguard when the cameras weren’t rolling. They wouldn’t let anyone get near you, growling and baring their teeth at anyone who wasn’t a personal friend who dared to get in your personal space.

Monday came far too soon and the three of you arrived to the arena, game faces on as you waltzed in like your own little pack. They each had an arm around your waist with a hand in each of your back pockets, leering at everyone while you grinned.

Roman and Drew were already planned to have another in-ring bout prior to Extreme Rules, but they wanted to have you out for the main event as support. You already knew that Shane was going to be there, going ringside to cheer the Scotsman on and berate his opponent.

You all had your roles, you all had your positions. Now, it was just time to put it all into play.

As their match was the one to close out the night, you had to deal with hearing Shane’s long introduction when him and Drew went through the curtain. You watched them travel to the ring and you saw the Scottish Alpha’s hand twitch, eager to get his large hands on the man next to him.

Shane continued to rant before you and Roman cut him off, trekking down to the ring to meet him. He swiftly ducked under the ropes as Ro approached him but he smiled at you when he saw you, instantly making you sick to your stomach.

Gripping his elbow, you whispered, “You know what to do, right?”

“Of course I do, baby girl,” he replied, brushing you off. “I got this.”

He smirked at you, climbing up the steps and under the ropes. The bell rang and the match began with the two men locking into each other in the middle of the squared circle, Drew quickly getting Roman into a headlock and bringing him down to one knee.

He managed to shove the larger man off of him and into the ropes to throw his forearm into his clavicle and drop him down with a thud. Roman roared as a “Let’s go, Roman!” chant erupted from the crowds. You applauded him and Shane sneered, creeping closer to the ropes like a rat to freshly tossed food.

The match went on for several minutes, each filled with blows delivered and taken by both Superstars. Drew took a harsh Driveby from Ro on the edge of the ring and you were almost certain that he had been knocked out, had it been for the groan he made when he reached up to rub at his head.

It quickly turned to the Samoan being on the receiving end of most of the blows when Drew landed a nasty Glasgow Kiss to his skull, dropping him like a fly. He dragged the fallen wrestler to the middle of the ring, standing above him menacingly.

“Pin him! What are you doing, man? Just pin him already and get it over with!”

Shane’s loud voice could be heard above all else and you prayed that Roman would get up and walk it off like it was nothing. Instead, Drew chuckled and ducked out of the ring, walking around it to come face to face with the McMahon. As the older Alpha continued to go on and on, your mate threw the fastest right hook you’ve ever seen, making Shane plummet to the floor like a stone in water.

You looked around at the shocked faces of the commentators as well as various members of the WWE Universe, but you didn’t expect the roaring cheer that one move got.

He kneeled down to his level and proceeded to pumble the man further, driving fist after fist and hit after hit into him. You were full-on belly laughing at that point, noting how comical it was to see the once high and mighty Shane McMahon who had cornered you numerous times be put in a similar, vulnerable position.

It was beautiful.

Hearing the newfound commotion, Roman arose from his spot on the ring floor akin to the Undertaker and the crowd went wild once more. He got up and ran to the ropes behind him, bouncing back from them and diving over the set in front of him, Drew moving so he wouldn’t get hit.

Shane’s head struck the ramp below and began bleeding as his face and body grew battered and bruised. The two men towered above him and rained down blows and kicks galore, and you wished you had a phone with you to record the magic happening. They then hooked an arm under one of his and hoisted him up from the ground, looking at you gleefully.

It was your time to shine, your chance to get your licks in.

“Go on, leannan!” Drew shouted, a wide, wicked smile plastered on his face. “Show this ugly bastard what’s for!”

Roman laughed alongside him. “Show ‘im your spitfire, Omega! Make him pay for what he did to you!”

Make him pay.

You roared, baring your sharpened teeth and charged at the silver-haired man, landing a solid dropkick to the middle of his chest. He fell with an “oof” and laid there like a limp ragdoll, but you weren’t going to let that deter you from having your own fun.

“If you ever-”

Punch.

“-ever-”

Another punch.

“-ever-”

One more for good measure.

“-think about touching me or talking useless crap about my mates again, I will fucking. End. You!”

With every word let out, you let out led to another hit to his body, your feet flying everywhere they could reach. After a solid five minutes of you three tossing him around and beating him to a pulp, you landed a fine tuned pointed-toe kick to his crotch. He crumbled to the ground, clutching his body as you and your mates looked on victoriously.

You could barely hear yourself think over the commotion going on around you, but you didn’t care. You got your payback. You all did and if he tries some shit like that again, you’ll be bound to pay him back again by a ten-fold.

You raced up the ramp to meet your lovers at the head, raising their arms to signal your win against Shane’s bullshit. You felt a weight being lifted off of your chest and you felt relieved for the first time in over a month.

Karma really is a beautiful thing, isn’t it?

~~~~~

~~ Tag List: @writinglionqueen @writing-reigns @i-have-saracasm @yaint-me @calum-hoodwinked-me @missmoxy @gold–gucciempress @mistress-to-the-moon@mis @meishaabae @luciddrreamss @neversatisfiedgirl @the-carter-mob-don @aj-mac21 @crossfitjesusinskinnyjeans @finnsauroraborealis@tacoshu @ladytea19 @candicelerae @sassybrose @bambixbliss @lookalivesunshine-x @liamakorn @baddie-bismuth @deepdisireslonging@flawlessglamazon @myorlandobloomersareshowing @thegoblin-maiden @justsimplevicky @taryn-dibiase @caramara3 @hardcorewwetrash @shieldgirl18 @demonkingsangel @speckylynch @mondaynightrollynch ~~

If you want to be added to my tag list, shoot me an ask or a DM! ^^

#drew mcintyre x reader #drew mcintyre fanfiction #drew mcintyre fanfic #roman reigns x reader #roman reigns fanfiction #roman reigns fanfic #wwe fanfiction #wwe fanfic #wwe fic #thank you all for 500+#i love you <3

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misterbitches · 4 years ago

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i said i would talk about saizon and usually i would be under the influence. but i am not yet. read the * at end of the post first if u want clarification of overall.

i might mention torfight (will refer as f/t) but if anyone gets upset just chill. it’s a really inconsequential opinion. the chances of someone stumbling upon this means nothing. it isnt’ a compare and contrast just how i personally feel while viewing these shows. and i probably want to dive into what this means in a broader context since i have all the time and brain space in the world

from the first encounter of saifah and zon or their first encounter outside of their “kiss” (LOL? so unnecessary) it was clear that as awkward as it could or may be there was natural chemistry. which i want my tiny head to explore.

so a lot of BL (which is like....tv and movies etc in general anyways) hell even dramas may have a less sexual undertone to get to where they are going. which i think is a problem with tv in general (a friend was bringing this up with the new rules of social distancing on set which...capitalism but whatever) where sex is a vehicle for connection. a lot of BLs can be explicit i suppose, but in the west it’s like jumping into bed is a huge base for a lot of couples. also everyone fucks too much who cares.

but sex, kisses, hookups, any nudity, etc is not a placeholder for like actual intimacy, romantic love, showing love. that’s part of why i hate the concept of love at first sight, at least the way it plays out. you can really like someone, hell maybe even love, when you see them or feel this bond but the bond isn’t because you TOUCHED them.

there’s a difference between natural chemistry and forced. natural chemistry is what you would prefer which is why casting directors have literally chemistry tests to test your compatibility as actors, with a writer/director, and on camera. there can be people whose chemistry develops and we see the potential, or people who we know don’t love each other IRL and this is acting but it’s still powerful. but this always means you have to give them the time and space. actors can jump in/out of character but it’s human nature. if two peopl eare meeting for the first time and have to simulate sex there’s going to be this natural like...strangeness. obviously. viewers can see it.

so when you get two people who click irl and it doesn’t always have to be romantic or sexually it’s kind of more of a thrill. very obviously mii2 are a lot more flexible around each other so it is less mechanic. i think i like watching tharntype because even tho i feel like parts of it seriously need some oil, i can see and understand a relationship developing through their characters as they act (and i do not particularly think they are good actors.)

the friendship that saizon display—whether we think it is spontaneous and too quick or not—is legitimately nice. and they are very obviously comfortable with each other. i guess there can be an idea of romantic friendship (but idk abt that one, we dont have to fucking label everything you can love someone so deeply in your own way outside of our parameters bla bla capitalism ruining everything bla bla individualism)

they got in each others faces, then would do very weird shit together, because that’s who they are. for me personally i think being able to have fun with your partner is iMPERATIVE. one of my fav moments is when they fucking meow at each other (which i know is a thai joke, right? idk) and it is so weird but you can tell they understand the way they communicate?

to me like...having someone you feel something deep with is that there’s this role you guys are playing, it’s a joke you started, and with the best kind of intimacy and love your partner can keep it going, keep it rolling, hang it up in the air and you guys just go back adn forth....forever lol

i also legitimately think it is important to hammer home the fact that you are yourself without a partner and i really resent a message that makes it seem like you can’t live without someone. maybe a lack of saizon was good that way. like they existed as two seperate people. their love and attraction weren’t the only thing going for them. it was just natural and very nice.

this particular display of romance and affection is one that’s strong but doesn’t take itself too seriously. not because you don’t want to lose them but because there’s enough security. or like, it’s really guided by this unspeakable feeling you feel with another person.

i’m not sure if that means soulmates but it’s something close. saifah doesn’t expect zon to be someone he can’t, but it doesn’t mean he has to let himself go completely for him. when he expressed being sad that zon pulled away it’s normal. and zon knew he couldn’t do it but they still got through it. and then he pats the bed and saifah jumps on him.

these types of couples remind me of why i feel the way i do about love. i can’t imagine something fucking bogging me down, where i feel like i can’t get up without pulling me, where i don’t feel myself first. zon was figuring himself out and he was thinking of himself and his feelings. bc he should.

that’s another reason why trapped MC (H3) is one of my favs. first of all THEY LAUGHED TOGETHER WHICH IS LIKE A REQUIREMENT UR NO FUN IF UR A SQUARE and second of all they were going to spend year apart and could do that. had to. fuck the carceral state but.

you don’t ask someone to give up a part of themselves, you only want them to be the best they can be. it isnt through demands it’ sgrowing with them and fucking respecting them with everything you have. and it means having a foundation outside of them, too.

i know people get upset at the “love anybody but u have to love yourself” adage but i don’t really see it tht way. i absolutely believe you need to learn to be healthy alone and have a community. rely on all sorts of people. have different types of love and figure yourself out. we can’t be free as human beings without it and i would rather fucking die than not feel free.

oh and like....being with someone where you feel seen and heard not shamed. i read this thing in the atlantic like, partnerships fail a lot because of lack of validation. imagine having someone who trusts you, and maybe helps to trust yourself, and validates you by being there. nice.

and it’s nice having someone you love so deeply and beautifully along for the ride. instead of no actual pleasure outside of sex, your relationship IS the pleasure. beautiful stunning etc. and that’s what makes everythign feel good the love, sex, living, whatever. with someone and with yourself.

this got away from me in conclusion theyre very cute eand that’s cos it’s easy and natural. mii2 are fun to watch as saizon and themselves. life shouldnt be too hard. im a big fan of working as little as possible and being happy kekekek

*i am talking monogamy, love, and the self. why only ‘traditional’ rships? first: i literally cannot handle people because i can’t handle my mind. non-monagamy is incredibly alluring to me for my autonomy, in the abstract, and in theory. however, in practice, i don’t think—for me as a black woman and what it means for me—i can enact anything i feel would be detrimental to me or puts me in a position where i feel forced into a dynamic i no longer care for.

and who knows if that changes? i only do and care about the things i like and find important. no one else but me, family, and friends. how i choose. so i am talking abt monogamy but u can interpret that for other rships if you wish.

second: it’s. my. life.

i dont carrreeee about monogamy/non monagamy outside of liberation and sexual freedom and what does that mean? there is no blueprint for that. there is no future expectation for a relationship, there is nothing but how we choose to interact with the world and community. first and foremost: love means so many things and it doesn’t have to mean any “new” ideas. or “instincts.” who fucking cares. we can’t reimagine literal relationships, people are fucking toxic in all types of them, only reimagine how we interact with ourselves and each other. there is no fucking guarantee with any of this we are safe. you cannot predict life. just live it. honor yourself first. there’s some black feminists books on like love and intimacy if you are curious how capitalism binds us. we keep wanting to find solutions WITHIN when its like nah, it;s our own fuckin terms. self-love becomes the love you can extract from others. it isn’t sustainable.

ROMANTIC LOVE WAS INVENTED TO MANIPULATE WOMEN = JENNY HOLZER

#these are all lit FOR ME #a thot #and if ppl like it so be it #saizon #i am an iNSANE romantic #huge #heh

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goldcndays · 5 years ago

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[ SOFIA CARSON / ALETHEIA / POLEMOS / MUSE 45 ] / [ FRANCESCA CORTEZ ] is a [ 22 ] year old [ LAW ] major. [ SHE ] is/are known for being [ DILIGENT & INTELLIGENT ] but [ BLUNT & COLD ]. when i think of them, i imagine [ BLACK COFFEE, HOUNDSTOOTH, & CRISP NEW TEXTBOOKS ]. and even though they’re a proud HU student now, we all have our roots. theirs run back to them being a [ MHP (TERRA) ] graduate ]. i asked around and it turns out they [ AREN’T ] an AOP student. in their interview, they managed to woo the admissions team by [ PRESENTING A PAPER ARGUING BOTH SIDES OF A POLITICAL ISSUE ]. i guess that’s all there is to know! unless… [ sky / 24 / mst / she/her ]

bullet points.

raised in new york to second-generation colombian parents, francesca had it instilled in her from a young age the importance of working hard and achieving high standards. this has led her to try to be the best in her life, no matter the cost ( much to her benefit and detriment ).

she was a ‘miracle baby’, conceived via ivf after a long fertility journey, and because of that, all of her parents’ hopes and dreams have been pinned on her ever since she can remember. her parents have been good to her, but their expectations are high, and they never let her forget this --- nor does she let herself forget it.

she’s always achieved high grades, done all the extracurriculars she can possibly manage ( and then some ), and been the golden child. those who knew her at mhp probably wondered if she had any flaws or any vulnerabilities ( she does ). this only extended to her life at hatchett university, where she’s in her senior year but has been putting her best foot forward since day one, constantly striving to be the best she can be.

she can tend to have a blistering effect on others; she’s harsh, direct, and to-the-point. she doesn’t have time for bullshit, and her label ‘aggression’ finds its way out through harsh comebacks in the heat of the moment and carefully-crafted texts that cut where it hurts. she takes no prisoners, and if you’re in her way --- watch out.

connection ideas.

best friend(s) / ride or die. --- idk if anyone can stomach francesca’s demeanor but hopefully there’s someone out there, hmu

unlikely friends --- a friendship that shouldn’t work bc they’re total opposites, but somehow it does.

sister/brother/sibling figure --- francesca never grew up with siblings, so she’d love to have that close kind of relationship with somebody

confidant --- someone she can tell everything to and really be vulnerable about the things that bother her or hurt the most, they would see her softer side that she doesn’t show to anyone else

friends from mhp --- whether they were close or not, gimme ppl from her high school days!

friend turned enemy --- they were the closest, best friends even, and then things turned sour... now your muse is on francesca’s sh#t list, for whatever reason.

rival --- they hate each other and are always competing for the same things, same goals, same achievements

friends with benefits / no strings attached --- francesca has ~needs~ and she’d definitely love some no-strings-attached hook ups!

one night stand --- someone she hooked up with one time, and whether it’s awkward now or totally chill ?? who knows

flirtationship --- the vibes are ~there~ but it’s not 100% clear what the verdict is ur honor

booty call --- she calls them when she’s feeling Sad or drunk and just wants to get a little lovin’

first love --- the first person she ever loved, when she was softer and a bit newer to life, trying to figure out everything. they would probably have seen a softer side of her.

the one that got away --- a relationship that ended and there are lingering feelings and questions about what could have been

skinny love --- ok i’m soft... so a super angsty plot where the timing was never right or they were never able to fully admit their feelings to each other and it just never has worked out, even though they both feel the same.

rekindled flame --- for whatever reason they ended things, and now that they’re back at hatchett they’re back to feeling some type of way... how they handle that is up to us :~)

hatefucking --- she has self-respect but not that much... gimme a connection where they can’t stand each other but the sexual tension is off the charts and then in dark rooms they find each other and don’t admit what happened after the lights turn on

will they won’t they --- i love the drama and angst of it all :(

anything else you can think of --- literally down for anything!

stats.

name: francesca ximena cortez rojas age: 22 gender & pronouns: cis female, she/her orientation: bisexual birthday: april 20 residence: hatchett university (new york city when not at school) birth place: long island, new york parents: eduardo cortez rivera & elena rojas quintero siblings: n/a ethnicity: colombian occupation: law student at hatchett u pets: n/a

appearance.

hair: brown eyes: brown wears glasses? no complexion: clear height: 5′7″ scars: tattoos: n/a. piercings: n/a. faceclaim(s): sofia carson

personality.

mental: good zodiac sign: aries hogwarts house: slytherin + positive traits: diligent, intelligent, loyal, forthright - negative traits: blunt, cold, harsh, uncaring aesthetics: black coffee, houndstooth, crisp new textbooks, wood paneled bookshelves, white dress shirts, mini-skirts, black heels, cardigans & blazers, highlighters and note-taking, the burn of your eyes when you stay up too late studying, pulling an all nighter and yet showing up with lipstick on anyway, striving for complete perfection no matter the cost

subplot.

THE TIDE IS HIGH.

once upon a time, QUINCY, MUSE FORTY-THREE, MUSE FORTY-FOUR and FRANCESCA went on a beautiful hike down to the popular beach nearby, neptune’s cove. although they’d been many times for beach days, they’d never taken the chance to explore the infamous caves there until that day. FRANCESCA was interested in seeing everything, and led the others down twists and turns until they realized none of them were entirely sure how to get back. with the tide rolling in soon, they decided to try and find their way back, but the darkness in the caves led to QUINCY falling and severely hurting themselves. unable to make it out quickly with so much rock and debris, the group grew nervous. FRANCESCA eventually suggested that they leave and ‘return with more help’, but the other three knew there wasn’t enough time for that. stung with betrayal, QUINCY shamed FRANCESCA for being willing to abandon them and leading them so far out to begin with. FRANCESCA took this as an excuse to exit, leaving the other three behind. although FRANCESCA called the coast guard as soon as they got out and far enough to catch a signal, the others were furious. QUINCY did a short hospital stint for their injuries after the fact, while MUSE FORTY-THREE and MUSE FORTY-FOUR were left to wonder if FRANCESCA could be trusted anymore. it’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. so we have to ask: did they manage to bury the hatchet?

#ok hopefully this is enough info for now!!! perhaps more to come #hatchet:intro #‹ └ * 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀𝘿 𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍 :: 𝐨𝐨𝐜 —— tired all the time. ›

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 3 years ago

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So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

#actuallyautistic #not a shitpost #holy shit how did i spend 3 hours writing this what even is my blog #this blog is supposed to be blue whale anxiety and uncomfortably sexy clown jokes #what am i doing #sensory processing disorder #sensory issues #mental health #actually autistic #NOTIFY ME OF ANY TYPOS #i proofread this 5 times my eyes weep an unceasing flood of blood and regret #adhd #actuallyadhd #autism #sensory problems

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