#there are much bigger and even much smaller things to worry abt
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inhuman Vessel below the cut lol this was spontaneous so forgive any error
Also tw for dubcon/nc at first but it's monsterfucking so that's why
ALSO it's long so pls forgive that as well I got carried away.
thinking abt inhuman Vessel who's been lurking around your house for decades, he didn't really take interest until you moved in.
It's a beautiful home but the massive expanse of forest behind your house is what really sold you. Unfortunately, you didn't know about the history of the town you'd moved into and especially weren't aware of the stories surrounding your house. Oh well.
You swear you keep seeing things out of the corner of your eye whenever you're outdoors. It's worse at night. It keeps getting closer. You must be seeing things, hearing things. There's nothing out there, right?
You start noticing little things closer and closer to your house as well. Your backyard fence gate was broken. Your doors had some scratches around the handles. The kitchen window was cracked? It's pretty high off the ground...how did that happen? You couldn't help but feel nervous. Maybe it was just a coincidence, maybe this was all there before and you didn't notice. You hope so.
Surely the creaking couldn't be footsteps, you live in an old house and it makes noise, just go back to sleep. God, please be asleep by the time it gets to you.
You could rationalize everything until your bedroom door opens, the room is freezing, maybe this is just a terrible dream though. Not that you'd dare to open your eyes anyway. Your heart genuinely ached from pounding against your ribs so hard. Is this really how you were gonna go out?
Vessel knew you were awake, he could hear your pulse racing and it was upsetting. He knows he's scary but he's genuinely just curious. It's been well over a hundred years since he's made contact with a person, the last people who lived here weren't his taste so he stayed back in the woods like usual. When he saw you for the first time, he couldn't help himself, he had to get to know you. He looked almost human, maybe you'd grow to enjoy him?
Vessel had to lean over a bit to avoid the ceiling in your bedroom, he was about 8 ft tall. His limbs were a little too long and his joints were a bit loose. Every movement made an unfortunately sickening crackling sound if he wasn't careful about it. His mask only covered half his face but if you looked close enough, you'd see that his mouth could open a little too wide to be human. 6 eyes all focused directly on you in bed, it was becoming harder to pretend you were asleep.
Vessel really wanted this to go differently, but was there really a chance you'd open your eyes and not be terrified? No. So ultimately, he has to just dive in.
You were already petrified, so when a massive hand drug you by your ankle to the end of the bed that's all it took for the tears to really start flowing. He felt bad, again, but couldn't hold himself back. He'll make it up to you if you just let him in, he really doesn't want to hurt you, he just needs a taste. He hasn't felt a person before, not like this. Not without violence. Here's his chance.
you felt so soft against him, he was trying to make himself seem smaller but that was difficult, when he spreads out he knocks things off your nightstand and walls. He'd help you clean up if you'll let him. That's a thought for later though. His breath felt cold against your skin, two giant hands holding your thighs open after dragging your shorts off. Is this really happening? This has to be a dream, there's no way.
You were so pretty to him, he wanted to know what made you feel good but he supposed he'd learn as he went. He was worried he was gonna hurt you in the process since he's so much bigger and stronger than you are, humans have a tendency to be easy to pull apart. He was handling you like you were the most fragile creature alive and even that felt rough. You were shaking like a leaf and yelped when you felt a giant tentacle like tongue slicking across your thighs and brushing against your pussy in a very uncoordinated fashion. (Forgive him he isn't familiar with human anatomy)
you were so fucking sweet, he wondered if all people tasted like this. His hands held your legs open further, he figured he'd found where he wanted to be. All 6 eyes were still focusing on your face, you looked miserable but please just try to enjoy yourself? Realize he's not gonna hurt you. He wishes he could tell you but unfortunately he's not really built for speech. His tongue was several feet long, getting thinner towards the tip and thicker closer to his mouth which if your eyes were open you'd notice was unhinged similar to a snake. He had multiple rows of teeth but had the fortunate ability to hide those unless he needed to use them.
You felt so fucking full, his tongue coiled around itself inside of you, no part of you untouched. He was writhing his tongue like he was trying to map you from the inside out (which he can't lie he was), the base of his tongue pressing against your clit when he moved closer. You couldn't help but whine a little, your voice breaking. It's terrifying but still feels good. God the sounds you make had him dizzy, he needed more. He lifted your hips off the bed a bit to get a better angle, a deep groaning sound reverberating from his chest when you clenched around his tongue.
He really didn't know how pleasure worked for you, but you seemed to be enjoying yourself. Your heart was still racing and your body felt hot, the longer he fucked his tongue into you the tighter you felt around it. His nails sank into your thighs when you finally came, back arching while you whimpered and covered your face with your hands. He withdrew his tongue and sat back on his heels. He had to make you do that again, he had to see it. Pretty much all resolve he had left dissipated after you came, you smelled so fucking good he really couldn't stop himself if he tried.
Vessel held you by your hips, nails pressing dangerously hard into the soft skin. He was still trying not to hurt you but his head was swimming with thoughts of you coming undone around him. He leaned over you, your legs really had to stretch to fit around his hips but you managed. You could feel him breathing hard against your neck long tongue laving against your skin while his length pressed at your slit. It felt like there was no way in hell he'd ever manage to fit inside you yet he did in a single thrust.
He pulled back pretty quickly at the pained sound you made, he didn't mean to hurt you what did he do wrong? He started to draw his hips back but the way you gripped him he really couldn't stop. He wished he could apologize for any pain but hopefully you understood. He braced himself with his hands on either side of your head, hips rocking back into yours and he quickly realized he in fact didn't fit entirely inside of you. There was still a good 4-5 inches that he just couldn't work into you. At this point he didn't mind, how you felt around the rest of him when he pressed against your cervix was good enough.
he set a pretty violent rhythm, chasing pleasure and those pretty sounds you were making. Your entire body bounced with every thrust, you reached up and held one of his arms to steady yourself. He felt that swarming butterfly sensation in his chest, you touched him on your own free will, maybe you wouldn't hate him after all of this? You still didn't open your eyes, but maybe you'd get there eventually.
Vessel was panting at this point, you felt so fucking good around him, you were sure you'd be bruised from the inside out tomorrow. He couldn't help but notice the large bulge in your lower stomach every time he fucked himself into you. He was so lost in this moment he didn't notice you were so close, his breath caught in his throat when you came around him, pretty sobs and moans leaving your lips while you pulsed around him. His legs nearly gave out entirely, fuck.
Your end made him pick his pace up, one hand holding your hip to steady you while he abused your poor pussy. You were dripping around him and making a huge mess of the sheets below you but at this point your brain was so clouded you didn't mind. You'd had your eyes closed this entire time until he sank into you painfully deep and growled harshly as he came inside you. He was twitching profusely above you, and the bulge in your belly only got worse when he filled you up. The insane amount of excess dripped onto the sheets to add to the mess that had already formed below you and Vessel pulled out, making more gush from inside you.
Your eyes met 6 of his finally while he was perched on the floor at the end of your bed, panting to catch his breath. He was intimidating but not as scary as you thought he'd be. Plus he did just fuck you better than anyone in your entire life so how bad can he be??
Unfortunately you didn't get a chance to share any words (not that he could speak anyway) before he slipped out of your room and disappeared. You still wondered if this was a dream, everything happening so suddenly. Lucky for you, he'd planned to return already. He couldn't leave his sweet little human alone for long now that he's had a taste.
(also kinda pulled from these pics I found on Pinterest as the vibe but interpret it however you'd like. These are just like the *image* but they're not exact by any means ofc just the energy I'm going for. He's kinda an amorphous forest creature who can change shape to a degree.)
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TIM WRIGHT X READER RAHHH
This is post-mh and you guyse are .. Married :P
-I like to think that post-mh hes even MORE emotional and affectionate and he fears so much abt losing you like he Has to be with you everywhere besides when hes at work and when hes at work the only thing he has on his mind is if your safe or not
-he gets home rly late afternoon and immediately greets you with so many little kisses and hugs, picking you up and spinning you around
-the only person he really has left is you (besides jessica ofc but your the only one keeping him stable) and he would blame himself for so long if not forever if you somehow managed to be gone
-Hugs u from behind
-a lot
-u feel his beard on the back of your neck.nph my god guys
-Anyways if your afab and have periods Like me he would worry so much i think. Constantly being like "Stay in bed im not letting you be in pain And walk at the same time." cause hes so overprotective imo
-Speaking of overprotective in public he would always wrap his arm around your waist. he never really used to like that stuff cause he doesnt like pda. he still doesnt like pda that much BUT post-mh he would need you in his sight almost at all times (especially in public). Though if you tell him to give you space he gladly will because hes nice :-)
-Poor guy has so many nightmares, specifically about losing you or about how he lost brian and jay. oh you comfort him? he cries.
-He cries and cries until tears no longer fall, and if you cry with him it will make it worse. He used to be very closed off about his emotions, but with you hes able to open up so much more.
-he kisses your scars and you kiss his scars back. end of story
-honestly only loves winter/snow when its with you. he likes the cold better then he does humid heat.. both of them are horrible to him either way. But with you he loves snowball fighting n stuff and as soon as he notices you shivering he brings u back inside immediately
-Doesnt shave as often cause he doesnt really gaf anymore. he occasionally trims his beard but rarely shaves it nowadays. he also grew out his hair down to his shoulders and absolutely loves when you play with it like hes all giggling and kicking his feet
-i like to think masky is still there, just way more calm and silent as always. he either activates after a seizure or tim just randomly wakes up as masky
-masky is way more protective i think, but not as affectionate. would love doing acts of service for u though and possibly a bit of cuddling if your really upset. most of the time he would be silent and "emotionless" (he does have emotions i know this) but when he does get upset he refuses to let you comfort him for a long while until he gives in
-tim absolutely loves singing to you, possibly even singing or humming you to sleep.
-Tim honestly likes any cuddle position, sometimes he really wants to be little spoon even if your smaller or bigger then him it brings him so much joy. also likes to sleep with you on top of him a lot
-bonus where reader has a bunch of toys cause i love inserting my own qualities into stuff
-He would love to name ur own plushies that have either just come in the mail or have never been named after years. he loves how much comfort they bring you in rough times. (headcanon incoming!!) he even has an plushie from years ago back when he was young (It was a bunny plushie) and he honestly gets a bit emotional looking at it sometimes. was probably packing up his stuff before entry #87 and found it and tried so very hard not to break down in tears cause it was such a comfort item to him And still is
-Ok welll BYEEEEE ill probably edit this as i go on :-) so embarrassed to post this since its my first public x reader thing and im terrified of accidentally misinterpreting tim or smth 😭
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Saw writing requests open... Little Cyberverse Radio helping Shockwave around the lab..?
Awww! What a cute idea!!! Yess I will gladly write some Father-Daughter bonding between em <3 Great chance to show off Cyberverse Radio some more 2. Note the dialogue might be funky, writing so many characters I haven't written for in forever is hard, who could've guessed. But after watching a lot of clips and episodes, I think I got them decently in character- [also this took so long bc of a family trip, dont worry abt the other writing requestsI am gonna blow through them fairly fast now that the surprises aren't coming so fast. Hopefully. Either way they r still open see #drabblez for more info <3]
The halls of the nemesis were very busy, cons running around trying to get into position for an attack on the autobots, Shockwave as usual would be left in his lab to attend to his work and help anyone who was injured. However, before he could get into position for his job, he had to find a certain bot in the crowd of cons scrambling to prepare for the fight.
Luckily Radio hadn't gotten any less predictable through the thirteen and a half years she had been around, as he looked around the ship he quickly found her trying to blend in with a group of con soldiers. She was doing a rather good job too, that was until Soundwave came over to examine the soldiers and she suddenly shrank in on herself with a nervous smile.
After that, it was all over, despite what Radio seemed to think.
"Dad wait come on please! All I want is to get just the tiniest whiff of battle! That's it! At least let me watch?" Radio pleaded as Soundwave picked her up, honestly she was lucky they caught her every time she attempted such a ridiculous idea. Radio was strong for her age sure there was no denying that, but compared to the other soldiers she was still considerably smaller, weaker and her impulsive nature made it clear to both of her parents she was not ready for battle... Not that either of them really wanted her to see battle at all.
"Forget it kid, you'll be much better off here, in fact if you pay attention to what Shockwave tells you, you might end up learning something." Soundwave purred, amusement clear in his voice as he handed Radio to Shockwave. "Here's your first lesson for the day, don't try to sneak out with a bunch of bots bigger than you. Maybe try to blend in with the smaller soldiers next time."
Radio huffed, the fact Soundwave was poking fun at her was not lost on her as she crossed her arms and narrowed her single optic at him. "I could take those guys... Sides if I tried to sneak out with the seekers Starscream would've caught me even faster than you did!"
Soundwave merely laughed again. "Then maybe you should stop wasting all your energy trying to escape the nemesis and instead look around the nemesis for much better things to occupy yourself with. That is until I get home after kicking autobot aft of course, then you and I are on for some training and if you're good I'll even do some reenactments of my best moves on one of the wimpy seekers, will that keep you outta trouble for now?"
"By all means Soundwave, while I appreciate the help, I am very sure I can keep Radio out of trouble using my own methods. Besides, if you keep feeding into her lust for battle, I doubt this rebellious streak will break anytime soon. Instead of you striking a deal with her every time she does this, I think this time I shall take care of it." Shockwave spoke up, causing both Radio and Soundwave to look at him rather surprised.
"Are you sure? She's a handful, maybe even more of a handful than I am, she makes me proud in that way~" Soundwave purred. "And I don't feed into her battle lust, I just like her being able to defend herself."
"We will discuss that further later. But yes I am sure I can handle her myself, she is not just your sparkling after all, she is mine as well and I think it's about time I step in." Shockwave stated.
Soundwave tilted his helm, seemingly about to add something to the conversation when Starscream entered the room.
"Soundwave, it's time, get your soldiers and get into position, Shockwave be prepared for injured cons, or prisoners depending on how well our battle goes~" She purred before looking to Radio and smiling. "And you little one? Just be good and patient, be a good example okay? You're a born leader after all and everyone follows the leader~" She gave Radio an affectionate nuzzle before her and Soundwave stood up straight, wishing each other good luck on their mission.
Then just like that they were off to fight.
"Now what?" Radio asked, looking over to Shockwave, she half expected for him to just send her off to her room and the other half thought he would force her to clean the nemesis as punishment for her behavior, that was what the seekers did after all...
"Now? You come with me, we have work to do and we cannot waste much time standing around." Shockwave ordered, walking towards his lab. Radio didn't want to admit how suddenly excited she felt at the idea of helping Shockwave in his lab, she just hoped it wasn't the same way she usually helped around the nemesis.
"You're not gonna make me deliver stuff all day are you papa? Like I'm gonna get to help in an actually cool way this time? Cause I hate being the delivery bot, it's boring sitting around and just waiting for orders, and then when someone calls to me they give me an even more boring job to do! How can you make doing something even more boring than doing nothing?!" Radio whined while Shockwave opened the doors to his lab.
"I can promise you right now, what we will be doing will not be boring, I cannot promise it will interest you, but you're not just Soundwave's child, you are also mine and if you are anything like me... Well, then surely it will at least be engaging enough to keep your attention for the day." Shockwave said, a rare tone of excitement in his voice.
Radio was curious but not hooked just yet, she continued to follow Shockwave, a task made somewhat difficult with just how small she was. Shockwave didn't comment on it but it was endearing to him with every step he took Radio would have to quickly take two to stay by his side, he wouldn't slow down though, Radio would've likely complained of being made fun of for her size if he did.
He could also notice her wandering optic, looking at tools, datapads and otherwise with curiosity that made his excitement only grow. Radio came at everything with not only fresh eyes but an excitement to master whatever skills were thrown her way. He still remembers the time Blugeon had been trusted to watch her and by the end of the day Radio was attempting to master sword fighting, despite admitting she would prefer to use her fists.
Shockwave could only hope she would feel similarly about his work.
"Now let me see if I can find something that would be good to assist me in introducing you to my line of work... A beginner class task..." Shockwave spoke, typing on a computer and scrolling by text so fast Radio could hardly read any of it.
Radio simply sat there, looking around the lab and getting excited at the idea of all the things she could do with the gadgets strewn about. Would she get to fire a blaster? Would she learn how to make her own weapons? Or a fighting drone?
"Ah... Here we go, come here Radio, I have a simple task for you." Shockwave purred, gesturing for Radio to take his place in the chair, making sure to stand beside her as she leapt up and viewed the console in front of her.
"Move the claw to your right, up and down, as though it were nodding." He instructed and Radio paused before looking to her dad confused.
"What?"
"Move the claw up and down, it's as simple as that."
Radio narrowed her optic at her father, but did as he asked, standing on the chair and using her hand to move the claw up and down.
"Did I do it?" She asked.
"You did, I saw the mechanical claw move up and down, now do it again." Shockwave said, keeping a firm expression and stance that locked Radio out of even guessing what he was thinking in that moment. Regardless Radio did it again.
"I don't get it, I think I'm doing it wrong." Radio whined, looking to Shockwave for guidance, this wasn't what he did all day, this was boring! How was this even teaching her anything?
"You're not doing it wrong, you completed the task, but moving the claw horizontally is only step one, now you must move the claw high enough to reach that vial, right up there." Shockwave instructed, pointing up to a shelf that was holding a few vials containing various liquids.
"I can't reach up there!"
"Then I will get you a ladder." Shockwave informed her, before turning around and taking a few steps towards the door.
"But that will take forever! Isn't there another way?" Radio protested causing Shockwave to stop his attempts to leave the room.
He then turned around with an expression Radio was quite familiar with, it was the kind of face he would make to her when he was impressed by her observations. But Radio didn't quite understand what she had said to earn such a reaction.
"Excellent, that is the purpose of science and of being a scientist. It is not just about completing a task, it is about doing it as efficiently as possible."
"Wha-huh?"
Shockwave smiled, an honest, amused and proud smile that made Radio relax as he came back to her side. "Any fool can move that claw up and down, and with enough time get it to retrieve what you need, but for a true scientist, efficiency is key, time is precious for us and we cannot afford to waste much of it." Shockwave told her, before pressing a few buttons on the console, causing the claw to grab the vial and hand it to him all within a few seconds. "Do you understand?"
Radio hummed with thought narrowing her optic before reaching over to press the same buttons she had just witnessed her father use, once again Shockwave's optic widened with surprise, but the way he looked at her told Radio he was very happy with her quick learning. Of course the claw didn't bring anything down this time, but that didn't matter to Radio, she now understood what it was about science that got her dad to spend so much time doing it.
"I think I do dad, I really, really think I do." She purred. It was kind of like a race and her competetive nature really liked that.
"Wonderful, now that I have your interest, we can get into the more... 'Fun stuff' I get to do in my lab."
When Soundwave and the others returned from their mission, he was surprised to find that Radio was not merely wandering the nemesis waiting for them. As the cons split up through the various hallways, some going to report on how the mission had went, others going to seek medical attention, Soundwave made his way to Radio's room. Radio was not there either, which was even more surprising, he'd expected her to be taking a nap or practicing moves on a training dummy she'd dragged in there.
Soundwave then realized that Radio most likely fell asleep in the lab, his husband had said he would keep an eye on her after all and Shockwave was very glued to his work, not even a supernova would get him out of his little cave. Besides Soundwave himself could vouch for the fact that despite how much it ticked off Shockwave, the lab did have a few places where if you dedicated enough, you could take a decent nap in.
However as he entered the lab he saw Radio not napping but assisting Shockwave in patching up the wounds of bots in the lab. "Stop squirming, this is Radio's first time with such an intricate operation and if you make it hard on her I will not be pleased." Shockwave said, narrowing his optic at the poor seeker Radio was cleaning the wound of.
"Someone's been very busy huh?" Soundwave purred looking over to Shockwave who nodded to him with a smile.
"I told you I could handle her didn't I? She's found quite an interest in my craft, turns out she really is my daughter." Shockwave purred, the pride obvious in his voice.
"I shouldn't have doubted you." Soundwave admitted before looking to Radio as she finished wielding up the wound she was taking care of. "Looks like you can have fun without seeing battle. Just try not to turn into a big nerd like Shockwave~" He teased, causing Radio to narrow her optic towards him.
"Now I know why daddy says you aren't allowed in the lab." Radio huffed causing both her parents to laugh.
Truly it had been a wonderful day. For Radio and her papa, Soundwave couldn't have been happier to see them so close. Maybe, just maybe, this would distract Radio enough to keep her trouble making low for the next few weeks.
Maybe a month, if they were lucky.
#cyberverse#transformers#transformers cyberverse#cyberverse shockwave#cyberverse soundwave#wavewave#maccadam#maccadams#cyberverse starscream#I havent mentioned this but cyberverse star is like the third parent to Radio#she's wonderful and I love her bc she makes Radios ego worse-#drabblez#I like this one#its rough I think but I like it and thats what matters <3
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I guess the big issue is that I can never Find what I want and I struggle with Making what I want too. I struggle a lot with figuring out what would be a good pose for an icon. I struggle with posing in general but I can usually get away with it in full drawings. It's more complicated in icons because it's a smaller picture, so you need to convey a Lot More for it to come through. And if you want the face to be the focus, you can't draw a full-body (which weirdly enough I'm usually better at than bust shots). So, I can't win. Can't think of good poses, not great at drawing bust shots. I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually though. I do keep trying.
Another big issue is that I suck at drawing myself lmfao. Often times I try to draw characters instead to get around this problem, but idek what character I would do right now. I kinda just want it to be me. I have so many features that aren't "typical" it feels like that I rarely see in art. And I'm not even talking about my big mole on my chin here, like sure that isn't a "typical" feature but it doesn't get in the way of drawing much. Ramble abt that below the cut
I mean features like: My eyes being fairly wide-set. My eyes being down-turned and Slightly hooded. My noticeable deviated septum making my nostrils appear uneven. My subtle-ish clefts on my nose + chin. My cheekbones being full. My cheeks in general being so chubby they squish my lips making them appear bigger. My lips being Very pink (how do I draw that without it looking like I'm wearing lipstick? It doesn't look right if I don't colour it differently at all though.)
And then there's features that aren't "not typical" but I just don't know how to draw them. Usually bc other artists don't draw them so my brain can't work out how to make it look good in my own art. But also just. Ok you'll see when you read it you'll understand.
I can't figure out what to draw irt my very subtle double chin situation. It's like, it's definitely there, but I don't know how to draw a Smaller one. I can draw bigger double chins fine, but, yeah. Every time I've tried it looks bigger than it does irl or otherwise doesn't look right. Which is what makes me worry I shouldn't be doing it at all, worrying that I've somehow lied to myself about my own features. Especially considering the rest of my body is more on the skinny side, though admittedly stocky. But I suppose it doesn't look right when I *don't* do it either... Yeah, it's weird. Dunno what to do about that lmfao. I hope I figure out how to draw it in a way that looks right eventually.
There's also my hair, which... a part of the problem here is just that I have a boring haircut that I don't like that much. But that I don't know what else to do with my hair! For context, my hair is wavy, pretty sure it's 2B on the hair type chart thingies. But I also want it to be short. I'd love for it to be spiky, but for some reason it loves curling downwards at the ends. (And I'm terrified of cutting it short enough so that it doesn't wave. Terrified it'll make me look ridiculous.) Also, it's thick, so it loves forming together to become one big block of hair. Which, doesn't look that interesting to draw. Also I have no fringe, frizzy hair, and a huge forehead so... 😭. Also difficult to draw.
And then there's my head size, which is, for some reason, very big. My shoulders being decently wide helps make it look more balanced, but. It's big enough that the work cap I'm supposed to wear for work almost doesn't fit me. I have to do a weird thing in the back with the velcro to get it to barely work. Although this problem shouldn't be too relevant for a bust-shot icon.
And there's so many not "typical" features that my Body has too but they wouldn't be relevant for a bust-shot icon. In general, with both my body and face, a lot of my non "typical" features I have, have associations with Things That I have. Like my triple X and my hypermobility (low muscle tone being associated w both of them) are the main 2 (technically 3) things I can think of rn. But obviously not ALL of the not typical things I have are from anything like that, sometimes it's just, not typical!
LIKE. I'M SURE THIS IS NORMAL TO AN EXTENT. Like. I'm sure everyone has Some non "typical" features. But.... idk. I think this is maybe a bit more than just that? DSJGSDJKGH. Like I'm not even really insecure over most of these features, I like how my face looks! And I like most things abt my body too. They just... aren't typical. So it's hard to figure out how to draw them.
For years I've been trying to find a good icon I actually like but I never seem to be able to find/make anything that actually has the vibes I want it to have. Augh
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I think so many ppl are too caught up making fun of like The Youth to really like take a deeper look at the way they interact with media and like realize that we need to be deeply concerned for thier futures
#cringy#they are so uncritical of the media they are consuming#i know multiple kids who dont really know how to read#and i think instead of shaming these kids for the way that they intereact with media bc they cant read or smth we need to idk maybe TEACH#its just like there are so many intstances of younger kids being and you take even a sligthly harder glance at it and ur like#wow there is something seriously wrong with you and itsike bigger and deeper than either of us know#its sooooo crazy#anyways i just think that we should stop being so rude about them and like spending genuine like time on the internet hating on them#there are much bigger and even much smaller things to worry abt#this also applies to ppl who are like super gender critical and stuff#and make fun of like transtranders or whatever or kids who are pretending to be queer like#newsflash#part of figuring out who you are also means figuring out who youre not#sometimes u get into gay circles or u think gay ppl r cool#and u want to be like them#okay maybe you turn out not to be#its not like these people are really out here harming people by claiming to be gay#wanting to be queer and stretching the label so far thay it includes you like isnt really hurting anyone dude#if u wanna make a pride flag for ur niche gender or aspec identitiy literally like#oh nooo the 200 ppl online who see this r gonna cringe like#thats not harming anyone#and eventually thag person will figure things out or maybe they wont and they cringe post forever#again like#these people are not your enemy#they are alredy invested in the queer identity dude they r ripe for the picking and like radicalizing#and ur just like#grrrrrr bite bite#i cant stand gendies </3#kill urself fr
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hcs pls abt beel just being the sweetest bf ever to an s/o whos like so much smaller than him pls?? :(((
omg omg. the sweetest bf ever
so gentle with u bc he's SOSO much bigger than u he treats u like porcelain
he's always looking down on you with that expressionless look on his face but it's actually kinda hot bc of the fact of how much bigger he is than u 💀
also v overprotective of u when out in public bc literally everyone in the devildom is a giant . holds ur hand (thats def so much smaller than his) everywhere
will carry you like anywhere anytime if u get too tired or just don't feel like walking LOL
like you say the word he'll bend down to let you hop on his back or get on his shoulders
or he'll just pick you up bridal style in front of everyone (baby doesnt get why this flusters you 😭😭)
he also walks like 10x faster than u with those long ass legs so he almost always ends up giving u piggybacks
man it's so fun . cute bf and car in one
always wants you to eat more so you can grow more
but if you don't really feel like eating or don't have a big appetite he'll hoover up ur food without a second word LMAO
forehead kisses are a MUST. (although if u wanna give him one u have to ask him to bend down 😭)
but if he wants a kiss on the lips he won't ask, mans will just bend down next to you and wait expectantly
give the good boy what he wants😠
HES SO CUTE AHAHWIEJ
also so warm and cuddly in bed like. you don't even need a blanket or pillow he'll literally just lay on top of u
just the thought of waking up being spooned by beel those muscular ass arms around u makes me SJQOSBIWHDHD
in conclusion giant bf beel x tiny s/o best thing ever
"hey, i'll protect you, so don't worry about being smaller than everyone else."
a/n: as a short person i appreciated tbis rq
#obey me beelzebub#beelzebub#beelzebub avatar of gluttony#beelzebub x reader#beel x reader#beel fluff#beelzebub fluff#beel imagine#beel headcanons#beelzebub imagine#beelzebub headcanons#obey me#obey me imagines#obey me shall we date#om x reader#obey me x reader#obey me headcanons#obey me fluff
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im tired of this sickness called 'i dont know how to art very well but i still want to share my headcanons' so im overcoming it by,,, just sharing my headcanons via writing,,,,,
So yeah the demon brothers are too bishonen for me so here's a kinda monsterf*cker rendition of them. Im also a horror fan so i wanted to make em scary hee hee
Lucifer
At first sight, he has a crown of sorts, made from black glass, protruding from his head, where cherry red blood is always dripping, the wound never closing down
When you get a little closer though, you figure out that the sharp shards of glass have a slight round edge to the ends, it's his halo, he tells you one day, when he fell it broke in pieces and stuck to his head. He could've easily taken it out, but he decided against it, this was who he was now, and he wanted everyone to know. His brothers couldnt look at his face for weeks, too shaken up by the gory display on his head, but they got used to it over the years.
The most human looking out of his brothers, except for the wounds and scars of course. Silently wonders if his curse is to be permanently reminded of the creature he used to be, and the fact that he will never quite look like he belongs in the devildom.
His demon form is something else entirely, gone is the charming gentleman with salt and pepper hair and blood dripping down the side of his face, replaced by something much, much more incomprehensive
Think of a biblically accurate angel mixed w a lovecraftian monster, big and impressive and quite honestly, terrifying
Thought very long and hard abt how to incorporate the peacock aspects in his design but i didnt come up w anything besides his clothes lmaooo
I thought of a lot of renassaince depictions of lucifer, always the most beautiful angel, even as he falls, so i think it makes sense that he's the most human looking and tries to resemble a demon as much as he can, he Is in a position of power after all, he needs all the respect he can get.
Mammon
i KNOW mammon is supposed to be a crow, but his demon form resembles a dragon too much for me to think of him as anything else
Sharp, SHARP teeth, but next to Levi he looks like the nicest dog in the block
His ears are also sharp, almost everything about him is sharp (his nails are also sharp 😰 but he clips them dont worry 😚)
His sclera is yellow and his pupils are slit-like, he never really liked his eyes so he uses his tinted yellow sunglasses to kinda, play it off. Since they're tinted it looks like his sclera is just white hehe
Can't breathe fire but he does blow steam from his mouth, so, uh, careful if you get him too angry or too... excited?
These are just assorted headcanons but mammon has a lot of piercings, especially on his ears (they're pretty long so he has space to spare), i also see him having snake bites below his mouth he just looks really good with those
He has a smaller scar on his right eyebrow from the war, he does like the look though, makes him look 'tough' in his words
His hair is super fluffy though, no one knows how
He fits th dragon fursona (lol) bc dragons are stereotypically associated with gold, and idk i think hes just cool. I would have made him a bird boy but dragon mammon was calling to me
Leviathan
Has a lot of hidden surprises, at first sight he's just an incel with a serpent tail and even that is hidden from plain sight.
As he starts getting more comfortable around you you see him talk more and you notice stuff about his mouth. Namely, his forked tongue, his full set of extremely sharp, shark-like teeth, and, you know, the fact that he has at least fifty something in there
Due to this his mouth is wider and bigger so he's not very fond of smiling for pictures or just laughing in public in general :(
Has fins instead of ears but most of the time theyre covered up by his mullet. Also has gills
Has several scales/markings on his body that glow in the dark, this is based on some deep sea fish that need to have these type of things to survive on the depths! He has some on his forehead and thats another reason he has longer hair lol
Yeah his d*cks glow too im sorry
Cuter headcanon but he likes being in his room with no lights on bc of this, he's his own gamer lights
Also has slit pupils and blinks vertically. Actually thinks this one is cool because he freaks mammon out when he blinks
He can stay very, very still for a moment and then move extremely fast. He usually does this to scare you but also just does it in general
It's worse in the water. He is literally made to be in it, so just pray he never plays marco polo with you.
His tail is out 24/7 but he usually curls it up on his torso or his leg when he's out in public, has a lot of scales leading up to it along his back
His form is pretty high maintenance, his skin gets dry quickly and his tail sheds once a month and he has way more teeth he needs to wash and its not fair-
Spent a century in the sea so when he finally reunited with his brothers and finally saw what he looked like he just kinda freaked out about his appeareance and never got used to it, he feels like a monster.
General headcanon but levi is chubby and you can pry this one out of my cold dead hands
He's a gamer boy (tm) and a literal shut in and also he needs it to survive colder temperatures in water so yeah levi is chubby he told me himself
Satan
The least human looking brother, since he was born from Lucifer's pure hatred, he is the closest thing resembling a demon
He has black ram horns and a segmented, bone like tail out at all times.
His eyes resemble goat eyes and theyre bright green, very noticeable
HAS NO NOSE, he just has that upside down heart thing like a skull. Hes real life sans (jk)
The tips of his fingers are black, mammon teases him and asks him if he enjoyed erasing the board with his fingers lol
When he takes out his shirt, you can see his ribs, and not in a 'skinny' type of way, you can literally see his ribs like his torso is a damn xray, thankfully he becomes more corporeal as you go down so you dont see a lot of organs but its still freaky
Mammon is sharp but satan is boney AND sharp, he's scary ngl
Has satyr legs. Like straight up those goat like mfs with hooves and everything, not gonna lie he pulls them off.
He's scary which is so much more jarring when you realize that he's the more civilized brother next to his siblings
Asmodeus
When you see him the first time you think he's a human. But when you get closer you immediately figure out that something is wrong.
You dont know what it is though, he doesnt have bleeding wounds like Luci, or yellow eyes like Mammon, or shark teeth like Levi, so what's up?
As you start to interact with him more you notice certain things, like the way his whole body seems to tremble when it's getting late, or how he seems like a blur when he moves too quick, or how his height changes nearly everyday
Asmo shapeshifts, it's one of the reasons he's so popular, he's very confident in all of his forms and likes to experiment with them, but his favorite is the one he uses most often, the strawberry blonde with the dreamy eyes. The way he looked back at the heavenly realm
It isnt a perfect form though, none of them are, all of them are too perfect to resemble a human, think of the uncanny valley when you imagine them. Like a living doll or some kind of android, its popular in the devildom but you dont quite get it.
It does however take a lot from him, he NEEDS his beauty sleep at the end of the day, maintaning a form throught the whole day is exhausting
In reality, he's quite literally a shapeless mass. A pink blob that sometimes tries to shape itself into its old form, but never finishes materalizing. He can keep a basic human silhouette in this form but dont expect a lot of details except for his eyes, which are unchangeable.
If you get to see him in this state then consider yourself someone he trusts, not everyone is allowed to see behind all the glam and glitz
Beelzebub
Looks like a rotting corpse, a chunk of his cheek is missing so you can see his teeth and constantly has bugs surrounding him
Normally it's flies but once in a while he finds a maggot somewhere and you almost faint
Has lots of bandages covering his body because his skin is very prone to opening up
It doesn't hurt him or faze him but it heals very slowly and it is annoying, especially when he works out
He doesn't smell as bad as he looks though, it's mostly cosmetic.
His wings are always out, the other brothers have to go on demon form to use them (if they even have them lmao, levi is still salty about that)
One of his eyes is like a fly's eye. Its completely orange and segmented, idk if im explaining myself well but u get it
His hands are sticky, kinda like spiderman, he didnt know how to control them very well at the beggining but now he's a pro. His hand does stick to your hair exactly one (1) time and he feels terrible afterwards
Think of cronenberg's The Fly for his demon form, full body horror
Belphegor
cow boy 🙄
Youre not as taken aback when you meet him because he just looks like a furry, his lil nose, his cow ears, his tail.
Honestly looks more cute than scary but he doesnt need to look scary to be so
Is impossibly strong, so when he chokes you you put up little fight, you're literally helpless
The heavy eyebags, the sickly paleness of his skin, his dilated pupils and bloodshot eyes. No matter how much he sleeps, he still looks on the brink of fainting
Has a lot of memory problems, especially short term, so dont get offended if he forgets something you told him lol
Looks generally unkept but thats more on him than anything lol. He really does appreciate when someone forces him to take care of his appearence so, be on the lookout for that
His changes are more apparent on his demeanor rather than his physique, but no one really knows how much is just his sin taking over and how much are his regret and bitterness talking.
Also no, you cant milk him.
#i found this in my drafts WHY havent i posted it its so cool im so smart#u can tell levi is my fav bc i have the most ideas for him JAJSJAJSJS#obey me!#obey me x reader#// body horror#//nsfw mention#//blood ment#//long post
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i was literally just abt to ask you of ur opinion of the pantalone/baizhu brothers theory before i read the latest chapters of a small telegraph… do you have any more headcannons yourself or will it be revealed more in the fic 🤨
I have many headcanons on these two, but a lot of them will be revealed in the fic! I'll throw some of them out there anyways though, because this brainrot has been living in my brain for months (quite literally)!
-Pantalone is the older of the two. I didn't specify if they were twins or just siblings, but Pantalone is also generally "bigger" (though they're so close in age that it's not super obvious when looking at their younger versions). Baizhu was always smaller because of his weak complexion, and often fell ill as a result.
-Because Baizhu was too weak to be running around all day, Pantalone often had him rest in the shade while he begged for money and scraps, and if he did scrounge up enough money, he would buy new clothes (especially shoes) for his little brother. Though this wasn't often, as Pantalone barely scrounged up enough to eat on a good day, let alone enough for decent quality clothes.
-Pantalone took several beatings for being caught thieving, mostly on his back and hands. He never told Baizhu except for when they were obvious, and several got infected because of this. Begging the local herbalist for a salve was humiliating, but he couldn't leave his brother alone.
-Once Pantalone was old enough to work, he took on as much of it as possible. Enough to put a (not exactly clean) roof over their heads, even if it was dinky and infested with vermin. It was better than laying out in the open, especially during monsoon season, when Baizhu would get especially sick.
-As you can guess, not many places would take him for work, but a dilapidated tea shop took him in, but it wasn't easy or rewarding work. Pantalone was sore, miserable, and overworked, for barely enough money to pay rent, let alone pay for food. It was better than starving with no home though, so he was happy to do it for his brother's health.
-Baizhu eventually managed to score a job at the pharmacy as an herbalist's apprentice. Pantalone was happy, but also jealous, as it was a well paying job, not to mention that Baizhu got to live in the back complex, which was much nicer than their current home. But he was also relieved that Baizhu would finally be able to take care of himself appropriately. Through that opportunity, Baizhu was eventually recommended to the Academia for his outstanding talents in botany.
-Pantalone fell in love with someone, once upon a time. They were both poor, with little to their name, but they had each other. His lover died shortly afterwards in the mines that surround the Chasm, and there was no way to retrieve the body. Baizhu had never approved of the man in the first place, but was silent about the death, focusing more on his studies than his grieving brother. Was that what caused their falling out? Partly, yes.
-Baizhu getting his vision was the final straw.
-The falling out between them happened shortly after Baizhu accepted the invitation to enroll in the Academia, the day before he was set to leave. After that argument, Pantalone stormed off in a fit of anger and hurt, leaving Baizhu to see himself off on the journey to Sumeru. His years at the Academia were long and arduous, and he returned home with in incurable illness, but it was well worth it, as he was now the owner of the pharmacy and adept in his knowledge surrounding plants. When he returned to their old home, however, he found that Pantalone was gone, his things still in the long since abandoned housing complex. After asking around, he found out that Pantalone had vanished that day, after storming off. No one had seen him since.
-Current time, Baizhu still worries about Pantalone, wondering if he was kidnapped or was lost that day. Perhaps his brother died, alone and where no one would ever find him. Or someone took him, undoubtedly to do horrible things and leave him for dead. Either way, he listens for any mention of anyone that sounds like his brother, often when he's out roaming the harbor. He occasionally buys things he thinks his brother would like, hiding them in the back of his closet- hoping. He's well off now, but he's long since realized that his neglect of his only family was the worst mistake he ever made. If he could go back, he would do everything in his power to bring his brother with him, tell him how grateful he is for Pantalone's work, let his brother cry on his shoulder after the tragedy that forced them apart. But it's too late, isn't it?
-Pantalone is satisfied with how his life turned out. Though he still wonders if his little brother is okay, occasionally sending a Fatui agent to Liyue to make sure he's alive and healthy. He knows about Baizhu's illness, and part of him wants to go back and spend as much time as he can with his brother before the inevitable... But he can't force himself to go back, for some reason. He's afraid, though he won't admit to the feeling. He's also hurt, his brother made it clear where he stands. That he hates Pantalone, that he wants him dead. He would go back, but he can't. It would be admitting that he misses his brother, his family, and that Baizhu was right. He is a greedy, horrible man, but he used that to his advantage. He holds his position because of it. Baizhu would hate him for it, surely. Especially after the stunt with Ozial.
That was more of a brief history, but there you go! Hopefully these two come back together soon, their dynamic will be interesting.
#baizhu#pantalone#fatui harbingers#fatui headcanons#baizhu headcanons#genshin impact#genshin impact headcanons
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Angels as Eusocial Insects: Caste Determination and Task Allocation
hey guys im back at it again with the applying my studies to xenobiology and my cringe interests <3 and im here to talk abt the angels of supernatural bc i saw this post and it made my brain start zooming. i don’t know shit abt christian or jewish mythology nor will i be digging into it bc thats just not what this is about. im explicitly treating angels basically as a species of alien and only working w what is provided by supernatural itself.
In Supernatural it’s implied that angels are separated into predetermined ranks, largely determined by how powerful they are as a function of their grace, as well as having several specialized angels such as cupids, rit zien and grigori. You know what else experiences a similar phenomena?
(image source)
ANTS!! As well as other eusocial species like some bees, wasps, all termites and weirdly, naked mole rats. I’m going to be focusing on ants primarily bc that is what i know best. i’m going to be breaking down angels as eusocial insects in two topics:
CASTE: what are the castes and how are they determined, and what are analogous biological examples?
TASK ALLOCATION: on a smaller scale, how do angels divide work among the same caste?
Before we get into it, let’s just get a definition of eusociality out of the way and see if angels check the requirements: Eusociality is the most “advanced” or “complex” form of sociality, defined by:
• Cooperative brood care - we know basically very very little about how angels are “raised” and they more or less seem to be created fully matured, but from the vibes it seems like younger angels are taught and accountable to a variety of older angels.
• Multiple generations living in the same colony - eyup.
• Division of labor into reproductive and nonreproductive groups - I would argue yes! In this case I am defining angelic reproduction as the ability to make more angels (excluding nephilim, we are just. ignoring nephilim for the purposes of this meta). In this case God and Archangels are our reproductive castes.
o Angels reproduce asexually, so we thankfully don’t have to worry abt sex determination. There are no drone/male equivalents.
Stunning. Incredible. Angels are eusocial. MOVING ON!
CASTE:
Caste in eusocial organisms is a morphological category that is roughly split into the queen(reproductive female), workers(nonreproductive females) and drones(male reproductives.) These are not harshly defined in all species and you can get intermediate forms, as well as highly specialized subcastes of workers. If I were to apply these castes to supernatural angels I would sort them like this.
Queen: Chuck lmao
Intermediates: Archangels
Workers: Basically everyone else
• Some specialized sub castes of worker would be the cupids, rit ziens and grigori. Examples of some cool specialized ant castes are twig nesting ant soldiers who have a big flat head they use to plug the entrances to their nests and honeypot ant repletes who basically just eat a bunch of food and hang around and feed other ants through trophallaxis(regurgitate into other ants mouths)
Now castes are morphologically distinct, and these morphological differences are determined by a combination of genetics and environmental factors. In many eusocial insects, reproductive caste determination is a product of how much they are fed in the larval stage, quantity over quality, royal jelly is fake and doesn’t actually affect the development of queens.
In some eusocial species(some wasps, naked mole rats) the reproductive queen is determined by who can beat everyone else up. If the current queen/alpha female dies or is removed from the colony, the strongest females will then enter a period of conflict where they will beat each other up, sometimes even killing competitors. I think this is basically how spn angels work and why the archangels are at eachothers throats as soon as God dips.
In summary: angel caste is determined by “genetics” aka how they were initially made, how much power they obtain, and dominance.
TASK ALLOCATION:
So! If 90% of angels are the same caste, how to they decide who does the smiting and who gives the heavenly lobotomies?
In social insects there are a couple theories and it varies by species, but in the case of angels I think the two that align the best are morphological and spatio-temporal task allocation.
Morphological Task Allocation:
This one is pretty straight forward. In social insects, often bigger, burlier workers will do more dangerous/physically demanding jobs, like defending the nest, foraging and scouting for resources. Smaller ants will be in charge of tasks like tending brood and queen, cleaning the nest, and nest construction.
Bigger, stronger angels will be in charge of more dangerous jobs like smiting demons, fishing the michael sword out of hell, etc and weaker angels will be in charge of maintaining heaven and it’s souls and ambiguous corporate angel duties. Also the lobotomies.
Spatio-Temporal Task Allocation:
This theory on task allocation is the idea that as an individual gets older they do progressively more dangerous tasks, a good example of this is honeybees! When a bee pupates into a bee, it’s first job is tending brood, then it moves on to nest maintenance/construction, then nest defense, and then the last thing it does before it dies is scouting/foraging. This is the temporal aspect. It’s basically to maximize the efficiency of a lifespan.
The “spatio” aspect is that ants are essentially doing whatever job needs doing wherever they are, so when they are born they tend the the brood, then other ants pupate and they run out of work, so they move further out in the nest to see what else needs doing like nest maintenance, then more ants start doing that job, so they go further out to forage.
I think there’s decent enough evidence for this for angels. The temporal aspect is less strong admittedly, though I do think younger angels are probably more relegated to working in heaven instead of going to earth or hell. A strong piece of evidence to me is that Metatron gets saddled with the job of being God’s scribe just because he was there, he was just a random worker in proximity to a job that needed doing, so he did it.
SUMMARY: Bigger angels do more dangerous jobs, stronger angels also do more dangerous jobs, older angels do more dangerous jobs, and also angels just do whatever job is in front of them.
WOW I THINK I’VE SAID EVERYTHING I HAVE TO SAY ON THIS TOPIC! THIS WAS SO LONG! IF YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR, I LOVE YOU <3 I LOVE ANGELS AND ALSO ANTS!
#supernatural#supernatural meta#spn meta#xenobiology#entomology#eusociality#long post#sorry guys its. literally over 1k words but ahaha im the person i am
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I'm bored as fuck drop your salt about v&tsk
Oh jeez... fandomwise or canonwise?
I don't think there's much I can say canonwise that hasn't already been said. All the characters of color are based off of vaguely racist stereotypes (I.E. Yong being the "Jinx Asian character") and stuff like that, all complaints of which I agree with.
But uh, oh man, fandomwise? Jesus where do I begin.
How about varigo interpretations?
I just think, imo, I've seen a lot of people portray them in a way that just... rubs me the wrong way as a gay man. I really hate the stereotype of "smaller guy is big pushover and so easily flustered and uwu shy" and then "bigger/taller guy is flirty and strongk and an asshole but its ok because its hot♡"
I actually don't see this as often as I thought I would, but im assuming that's because I tend to stick to people in my own friend circle for varigo content, but that doesn't mean I haven't ran into it.
Varian's not shy and he's not a pushover, like holy shit I can not emphasize the enough, if Hugo said any of the "uber hot flirty" lines half the people write Varian getting flustered by, he would have bodyslammed Hugo in 10 seconds flat.
There's just something so stupid about the idea of Hugo being an overly flirty guy who pushes boundaries and doesn't respect personal space or romantic advances and thats... thats supposed to be attractive? No.
I mean, I know most of the characters have vague personalities so there's not exact way to write them in-character except Varian. He is literally the most fleshed out from tangled the series and from what we've seen, he's clever, insightful, and oh my god he is stubborn. There is just no way in hell he'd lay down and take flirting from some random dude.
One thing I still don't get about people writing him as a push-over even after season three is... Yeah in season three, he was a damsel in distress a lot, but he... still had a lot of moments of sass... Did you. Guy's not. Watch the show?
Are you willfully ignoring character traits so it can be """sexy"""?
They tend to reduce Varian to a weird push-over which is. The opposite of his character. He's a sassy dude who may have a hard time turning people down do to maybe past situations,, he's still not going to lay down and let Hugo push him around.
People are very much too worried about what is "sexy" in mlm ships than what's healthy.
Also Varian literally spent so much of tts having trusts issues aeound his dad and raps and everyone and then unhealthy relationships of manipulation around the saporians. I just think he should have a healthy relationship with trust and communication and not just. "Mmm haha flirt sexy"
Also I just. CALL ME CRAZY but I think portraying all mlm as "hot flirty guy who pushes boundaries" and "person who finds being pushed around and abused sexy" is... bad. Like. Its just bad. Wtf yall.
Thats about it for varigo but one more thing that bugs me abt the fan base is like. People arguing over 7k being Canon or not.
Like. People get excited and thats fine but then there's people who are like... idk I don't wanna be mad at them bc I know they're trying to help and like. Tell people not to get their hopes up, but I promise saying "its probably not gonna happen" doesn't. Do anything. It just seems kinda mean tbh.
Like yeah idk maybe its not maybe it is happening idc at this point, let people be happy with their own things and if it ends up not being canon they can find out on their own. Like who cares just leave it alone idk lol.
Kind also ties into a lot of tts fans that dislike complaining abt 7k posts showing up in the tts tag... like. Just. Mute 7k or vat7k or whatever???? There is a mute button on tumblr dot com you can use it. I promise you will not die of annoyance because tumblr use Hugospubichair69420 posted another varigo drawing in the tts tag. If its not depicting abusive or legitimately harmful content then like. Keep scrolling.
Idk sorry my brain scrampled egg and I could word this more eloquently if I tried but I wont.♡
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re-made my cover of presque vu from like 2 months ago bc i received the copy and realized i’d made a whole bunch of amateur mistakes re: typesetting and cover design, and was so bothered that i designed myself another copy (that is winging its way to me RIGHT now). notes under the cut if anyone’s interested! i needed a place to put all my thoughts about the process
so this was the old design:
i designed this first one in a day, and didn’t have any idea what i was gonna do beforehand - the concept ended up being like, arthur + arthur’s vision of paris being inverted + the surrealism of the pink ink. so like the corruption of dreaming seeping into arthur’s reality. saying i discovered the thematic elements along the way would be an understatement though lmfao
the only new fonts i used were for subtitles/the author name, as well as the publisher stuff on the back cover - otherwise i used preinstalled fonts. i didn’t prioritize the title either. i kinda worked it in around the design i had and hoped it wasn’t too hard to read against the pink
as for the typesetting/interior: i threw the manuscript in indesign, put in chapter #s, figured out page numbering/master pages, and set it in book antiqua. i also put in these handdrawn-ish dice end-stoppers and spaced them really weirdly, because i was scared the spaces between sections would be too big. actually for a lot of the interior stuff i was worried abt how spacing would look, so i left the text like. single spaced
and then i was really excited and i wanted to print it before i lost interest in the project entirely, so i did, and unfortunately all those issues that i overlooked in the design phase came back to bite me in the ass. like, i didn’t figure out the trim properly, so the barcode was way too close to the bottom of the book. the font was HUGE on the back, and made it look like a kid’s book. title/author on the spine were too small and spaced weird. the margins in the interior were too small on the bottom, spacing was way too small in general, book antiqua ended up looking weird in print (though at least half of that was also probably the spacing), and there were widows and orphans everywhere (single words/lines at the tops and bottoms of pages). there were also typos and little mistakes in the text itself. i couldn’t have figured all of that out w/o seeing it for myself in print, but i did immediately start taking notes on what i wanted to change w the next edition LMAO
so here are a few prototype designs i had before settling on my new design:
basically i tried to go into this cover design w a much stronger concept than i did for the first one. i worked through a few ideas before settling on my final design, and i let them sit for a while instead of impulse ordering! final concept ended up being how arthur’s life was effectively destroyed by dreaming - first his career, then mal, then his relationships w eames and dom in a terrible domino effect - while maintaining an iron grip control over himself through all of it. (that’s fallingwater, a parisian hausmann apartment building, and the tuileries exploding on the cover!)
made the font smaller on the back cover, made the text on the spine bigger, made sure the title stood out and was a focal point by using a display font, and tried to make a coherent color scheme via an exclusion filter
biggest changes were in the interior, though. i modelled it off the raven cycle books! i found a nicer serif font, double spaced, and made sure the margins were bigger. i also put all the text on a baseline grid and replaced the dice stoppers w a really nice symbol that i can’t copy paste here lol, which did wonders to line up my text on the grid. i also figured out justification/keep options to solve my widows/orphans problem, and did some light editing to ensure the last lines were even on the page. i just barely scraped the surface of typesetting too! even w all the research i did this time, i’m sure there’s more to typesetting that i haven’t discovered yet :’)
so fun so so exhilarating to see the entire thing come together. i can’t wait for the book to come in!!!!!!
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Been thinking about Martin being sad about/hating the way he looks bc he looks like his dad, and he tries to talk to Jon abt it, but he's Too Vague so Jon thinks he's worried that Jon doesn't like that he's fat and consequently comforts him about the wrong thing
This took so long, anon, sorry!
Because of the subject matter, there are content warnings in the tags
The first time Martin sees his own face, limp-eyed, flat and drained in the feeble straining light of the bathroom, he starts shaking. A stretching in his chest, like he's swallowed a swelling balloon that is pushing all the air out of him, bunging up his lungs and throat and mouth. That's how Jon finds him, tears sprung to his eyes as he sucks in scant and skittish breathes, his fingers clenching the lip of the sink and wondering why he can't be stronger than all this.
After that, Martin takes to avoiding mirrors while he's in the safehouse.
It's not hard. He's had lots of practise recently. The Lonely had displayed many double-edged poisons in its folds disguised as furtive blessings. His reflection had been one of them. Martin had counted it as a grateful novelty, to walk past glass shop fronts and the over-stark bathroom mirrors in the staff toilets and see the refusal of light to grant his image returned to him. Even his exile to the seafront, the rock-pools vacant of crawling life or stubborn salt-encrusted fronds of lichen, had shown him only the eddy of tide, the ripples that his steps barely disturbed in the landscape.
It had been a kindness of sorts, to take his image from him. The mirror had never shown Martin anything but things he hadn't cared to see, his own neurosis writ large and backwards.
The morning is not unusual. The birds had woken him, piping shrill even through the double glazing, and Jon, still dozy and drooling his words into his pillow, had cursed and moaned indignant at the vocal wildlife. Martin had dropped back off for another twenty or so minutes, a smirk raising the sleep-dry corners of his lips, waking up when the bed creaked and Jon had stood and stretched and made all sorts of horrendous cracking noises like some sort of human castanet.
This morning though, Jon is in the bathroom, shaving, and making a worrying racket doing so, and Martin is still in that sort of headachy realm of not quite awake yet, where he still gathering the components than make him functional as he shuffles around in his boxers and waits for the shower to be free. Martin's not sure why today, but he finds himself opening the wardrobe. Inside, on the back of the left-hand side door, there's a full length mirror, pocked a little with age and smeared with dust.
Martin's not sure why he feels strong enough today to look.
The thing he expects to see first: his hair shorn down, just shy of a buzz cut. Martin's been doing it himself for years, every month or so hunching over the sink and bathroom mirror in his old flat in Stockwell and uniformly mowing his hair down to a prickly ginger fuzz.
His mum never liked his hair when he grew it out. Snapped and sniped about how long it was getting whenever it started to bend in a curl, encroaching over his ears, and he'd not always had the money or time to go into town and go to the barber's. When he got his first job, scrimping aside the little he'd left over at the end of the month, he'd bought clippers from the nearest Boots, attached the first guard he'd picked up and ran it over his scalp until the up-scrub was spiky and even. The first time was a bit of a hack-job, lopsided and uneven, but he's improved his technique with time. The method and cut was cheap and basic and he wasn't fond of the way it made his ears look stuck out, but it was one less thing he had to worry about, one less thing his mum could disapprove of.
His hair now hangs, uninspired, slightly greasy and knotted over his ears. Shaggy-dog over his forehead until he swipes it back, a small curl down to the nape of his neck.
He looks like his dad. Sees the man he barely knew staring back, the image lost that Elias had so viciously returned. Studies his snubnose struck centre, a wide jaw that rounds out his face, ruddy cheeks with sparse and spotting freckles. Some of the hairs of his eyebrows are starting to grey. His eyes seem suspicious, washed out, unhappy. He wonders if this is what Jon sees, a man whose closed-off expression does not appear to trust the world nor its motives.
The sort of man who might just up and leave if the going gets tough.
Jon pads into the room, though Martin doesn't turn round. He puts all his weight on the front of his feet, always has; even in the Archives, Martin could place Jon's footsteps next to Sasha's sturdier stride, Tim's faster tread.
Jon plants his face against Martin's back, grumbles through a good morning. He's smooth jawed again, his skin baking from the shower, his hair not quite towelled off properly, still dripping.
“Lookin' handsome,” Jon mumbles, throwing out a hand to gesture at the mirror, at the twin men standing awkward and self-conscious opposite each other.
Martin observes at his own hands cast back at him through the mirror. His thick arms, the round and pasty pale of them. He has big hands, he thinks to himself. Broad, weathered palms, the skin cracking dry, short and stubby fingers. Hair starts to grow sparse on the back of his hand close to his wrist and only gets thicker and denser up his arms. Jon slumped standing immediately behind him isn't visible in the reflection; Martin's body takes up too much room, wide and solid, even when he wants to secrete himself smaller. He's tall, like Dad was, he guesses, though he stoops and hunches in his shoulders to try and negate it. Martin thinks he looks like the sort of man that plays rugby and drinks too much. When he's walking home, trudging through the residential streets between the tube station and his flat, people passing him sometimes scrunch their body in away from him, and every time that hurts. In the dark, without his stumbling words and over-eager expression and his clumsiness, something about him looks like it could turn nasty, and Martin doesn't know how to take that.
He went drinking with Tim and Sasha once in Lambeth. They'd had four or five and Sasha had bought them obnoxiously coloured and overpriced cocktails before dragging Tim over to the pool table, Martin sitting out to the side amiably, sipping his sugar-heavy drink and tapping his feet to the music someone put on the jukebox. Two men came over ten minutes later, drunker than them, arguing that they'd been there first, and Sasha had been fired up enough to snap back. It had looked like a scrap brewing, so Martin had put his drink down and stood up, anxiously ready and willing to urge Tim and Sasha away just to keep the peace. The two had looked at him, eyes roving up before they held up their hands, backing off, saying they'd come back when they'd finish.
“No bother, ey, big lad?” they'd slurred at Martin. “Didn't mean anything by it.”
Sasha had beamed as they left, and called Martin a lucky charm. He hadn't felt very lucky. He'd felt sick at the reminder.
The problem as he sees it, is that everything about him is big.
Inside: too big heart and too raw-open soul. A great vast reservoir where he keeps every bubbling expression of fear and grief and rage that he's never expressed with his body.
Outside: big stocky arms, an over-hanging stomach matched with a tall spine and the sort of footsteps that announce his arrival well before he enters a room.
Martin's dad never hit his mum. He assumes that's something Elias would have glibly enjoyed sharing. But sometimes he'd stood too close when they'd been fighting, looming, deliberately crowding in her space, and she'd noticed how much taller he was, how much stronger. She'd thought she saw something mean and nasty in his eyes, the way he clenched his fists that meant he wanted to.
She'd imagined she saw that look in her son sometimes too.
Martin worries about that. Worries what other poisoned legacies his dad left him with.
“Mart'n?” Jon says. He's encircled his arms as far as he can around him, though they don't link up, scratching his nails through the hair on his chest. His hands long-boned but smaller, slighter.
Jon is not a small man nor a tall one, average in appearance in most ways if not for the scars, if not for the way the composite of his image makes Martin's heart something stronger in his chest. But Martin is bigger than him when they lie together, Jon's side of the bed made less by default, shunting him further over to the corners. Martin is stronger than him, because Martin has lifted him bodily to hear Jon's laughing protestations as Martin manhandled him onto the sofa and kissed the veins down his throat, the blush risen in his cheeks.
And Martin's angrier than he used to be. Or angrier than he used to admit to being. His mood pinballing from flat to frustrated as everything the Lonely dulled ploughs back into him, all of Martin's mechanisms, the checks-and-balances he built within himself gone ruinous. Martin can be so angry these days, and he doesn't know how to deal with it.
Martin doesn't like the way that worry fizzes under his tongue.
“My dad had big hands,” he says out of nowhere. “He wore some rings, I think, and he had to get them resized to fit his fingers.”
“You making plans to get us rings already?”
Jon's joke is shy and nudging, but Martin doesn't feel like raising the corners of his mouth in a smile.
Martin moves a hand to squeeze the flesh that bunches around his upper arms, pats his stomach.
“I've definitely got his belly,” he says. “His arms. Prob'ly end up with his hair to boot, he was receding a bit.”
Jon's hands stroke palm down over what stomach he can reach.
“I like your stomach,” he says, and it's not that Martin doesn't believe him, because he's getting better at not doubting people, at allowing himself to trust they might like something about him. It's that that wasn't the point.
“Hmm,” Martin says noncommittally, and glances at his own hands again. Square chewed nails and the small bumps of veins.
“You don't look happy,” Jon says.
“What? No, I mean, it – it's fine, it's...”
“Do you... not like looking in the mirror?”
Martin sighs.
“Not particularly.”
“Because you have a problem with how you look?”
“You don't have to spell it out like that, Jon.”
“Like what?”
“Like you're a – my therapist or something. I don't want to – to be questioned o-or psychoanalysed about it. I just, no – I don't like looking at myself. That's all.”
Jon's arms don't unhook from around him. Martin exhales and feels the frustration like sediment build up.
“I look exactly like my dad,” Martin says finally, bitterly.
“You don't,” Jon replies quietly, into the meat of Martin's shoulder.
“You can't know that,” Martin says, although the words are empty of meaning and they both know it. Jon both can and does, whether he means to or not.
Feeling his Adam's apple bob, he continues: “Elias, he showed me. When I was – er, when we needed him distracted.”
Jon's arms clench around him.
“Elias showed you what he wanted you to see,” he says after a careful moment.
Martin shakes his head, because he saw what he'd known already, what his mum had seen, the trickle of memory gushing torrential. That he has his dad's big fingers, big hands and big anger, and he is frightened of what sort of a man that makes him.
“I could....” Jon's fingers flex and skate over the skin where Martin's stretch marks root down to his hips. “I could look? If you wanted? Tell you if Elias was... if what he showed you was true.”
Martin thinks about it, but Jon feels the silence of his refusal and presses his nose against the freckled handful of skin where Martin's shoulder blades are.
“I'll tell you what I see then?”
“See see, you mean?”
“No. Normal seeing. With my own two eyeballs.”
“I am being blessed with the originals today, what a gift.”
Jon headbutts him with his forehead, and the small laugh and a 'Jon!' is pushed out of him as a scarred palm is held up near his face, an eyelid opening in the skin to leer at Martin.
“Put your bloody Pan's Labyrinth eyeball away,” Martin grouches, and he can feel Jon grinning mischievous as the disconcerting eyeball winks before being sunk closed back into the skin.
“Better?”
“I am never going to get used to that.”
Jon makes a noise of agreement. He unplasters himself from Martin's back, and takes a tugging hold of his wrist.
“Look at me?”
Martin lets himself be turned round. Weak-willed, soft-spined to the last wherever Jon is concerned.
Jon looking up at him now, fringed with damp locks seaweeding down his face. Martin brushes them back out of the way, and Jon captures his hand, meshes their fingers together slowly and precisely.
“Tell me?” he asks quietly. “What you've been thinking about? And I'll tell you what I see.”
“My hands,” Martin says after a moment and Jon nods and hums and holds Martin's captured palm in front of him.
“Bigger than mine,” Jon says, demonstrating, holding the two of them as imperfect reflections of each other. “You've got short nails because you bite them. The cold's making the skin dry, but they're soft, usually. Sturdy. Even when – even when we were leaving the Lonely, I knew once you took my hand we wouldn't get separated.”
“My – er, my arms,” Martin says after a while, prodding with his free hand at the loose flesh at the undersides of his arms. “Well, my bingo wings.”
Jon frowns, reaches up to encircle his grip around them.
“You've got muscle under there,” he says. “You can lift me, no trouble. The first time you did, I, um, couldn't help but hope you'd do it again.”
Martin finds it in himself to meet Jon's gaze.
“Yeah?” he says, pleased.
Jon is starting to blotch with blush, but he carries on, fingers stroking Martin's upper arms.
“Even if you weren't strong,” he says. “You've got – your, um. Freckles. There's no pattern to them, of course, but I like seeing if I can find one anyway.”
“You're a big softie,” Martin chides roughly, dry-mouthed and watery eyed.
Jon doesn't deny it.
“What else?” he asks delicately.
“I'm – I'm heavy,” Martin says, the words shrivelling quiet on his tongue. “I-I don't mind – I'm not ashamed of being, you know, not the smallest guy, I've never had a-a problem with it, not exactly, but I-I'm bigger than you. I'm stronger than you and I take up more room and, my dad, I look so much like him s-s-so what if – ”
He trails off. Swallowing. Unable to finish.
Jon's arms embrace him and he allows himself to be bent down, the angle uncomfortable and Jon on tip-toe, his face mushed into the side of Jon's throat.
Jon rubs at the broad expanse of his back.
“You'd never hurt me,” Jon says, fiercely. “Whether you look like your father or not. You're not him, Martin. I can't, I know I can't convince you, but it doesn't matter if you've got his arms or his eyes or his hair. He's never been where you've been, or done what you've managed. I bet he doesn't – doesn't write poetry, or whistle the Archer's theme tune, or I dunno, is completely useless at catching things.” Martin gives a wet attempt at a laugh. Jon's hands move comfortingly up and down.
“You're not your dad,” Jon continues after a moment. “You aren't responsible for the man he was, or the man your mother thought she saw in you. That's not – it's not your burden to carry. Fuck whatever shadows Elias showed you. You're not him. It's – I can't make you like what you see in the mirror, but when I look at you, I don't see any of the things you're scared of.”
“You can really just, know all that, huh,” Martin says after a minute, lifting up his head, rubbing his eyes with his hand.
“I don't need to,” Jon replies.
Martin's hugs are crushing and enveloping but Jon clings back as tightly.
Martin pulls back after a minute, wiping his eyes again though he knows they've gone red and puffy, already feeling the crimping heat of self-consciousness in his chest. Jon leans back in to kiss him, first his lips, and then his cheek, quick and affirming, as he trails his fingers through his hair.
“You'll be wanting this cut soon,” Jon says, although he seems disappointed at the thought, combing his fingers through the tangle self-indulgently.
“I might try growing it out.” Martin tests the water of the idea, and Jon looks approving at this, nods and hums and runs his fingers through again.
It's been a long time since his hair was longer. Martin thinks he might suit it.
“What would you say to a beard?” Martin follows up, just to see Jon try to valiantly quash his dissatisfaction and keep a neutral expression. He almost succeeds.
“If you... If you think it best,” Jon manages stiffly.
Martin's laugh is a free and booming thing in his chest.
#the magnus archives#tma#cw self esteem issues#cw discussions of domestic violence#cw body image#cw mild body horror#jonmartin#martin blackwood#jonathan sims#fic
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LRB: Giant/Tiny ramble
So Tiny-taker’s post I reblogged got me thinking about something interesting abt my own interests in G/T.
They stated that their Androphobia [p much a fear or discomfort/lack of safety around men] caused them to feel the need to shrink male characters in GT content to feel safer around them.
It got me thinking about where some of my preferences in GT have come from, and I came to a pretty... odd realization? [Rambly G/T thoughts under Readmore]
I, personally, like tinies and giants both being any gender. So I ruled out that having much stake in my preferences. In general, my interests in GT tend to be pretty wide! At least, compared to most people I guess, who usually gravitate towards a particular niche or trope.
G/T is nonsexual for me, at its core. So it doesn’t have any stake in those preferences either.
Yadda yadda, I came to realize... my interests/preferences in GT stem from two core aspects:
Trust
Overcoming hardship
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Overcoming hardship is the less relevant one, but shorter to explain. I like G/T where things may be dramatic or scary sometimes, but ultimately, the smaller party gets out of things okay. I don’t like cruel giants that get their way, overly aggressive hardship to the smaller party, or hopeless situations that are drawn out.
[Yes I do also LOVE wholesome stuff, but hear me out.]
Not only is dramatic stuff involving GT more narratively interesting to me, but it feeds into the catharsis of ‘overcoming hardship.’ Sometimes, life problems really do feel like a giant cruelly pinning you under their power, mocking you, taking away what makes you feel safe. It’s not fair, and in real life, it’s so amorphous and [usually] out of our control that it leads quickly to hopelessness. So I take great comfort in GT dynamics where the smaller party may be in danger, or at a larger party’s unquestioning mercy, and you worry for them... but in the end, they either get away, overcome it, or sometimes... the danger turns around and the larger party transforms from threat to ally. Or at least, neutral.
I love big villains, but I want them to either be defeated, or turned around. I don’t want them to win. I love wholesome GT, but there’s also something so potent about seeing a smaller party overcome a literally ‘larger than life’ threat, obstacle, or situation.
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Then there’s the much bigger beast... the theme of trust.
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I could go on for literal pages about all my different preferences in Giant/Tiny. I used to have a limited palate when it came to my likes in it, but they’ve greatly broadened over time. But something has always been consistent: Trust as a core element.
Again, I like genuine danger and threats and overcoming them... but I also ADORE beyond words the broad scale of dynamics you can get out of non-antagonistic G/T relationships. Allow me to elaborate.
I’m all-for wholesome ‘harmless giant/giantess’ tropes. That’s where I started on my GT journey, and that hasn’t gone away. But over time, I started to really drift towards something a bit more specific... And as of the present, it’s currently one of my favorite dynamics.
I love when Smaller Party [Character A] is initially untrusting and cautious of Larger Party [Character B]... for very valid reasons. Perhaps they accidentally hurt them. Maybe they’re enemies because of unfortunate circumstance. Maybe their species’ are natural enemies. Maybe B did something to make A not trust them. Regardless, eventually... B earns A’s trust over time. Even if they’re scary, or perhaps they SHOULDN’T get along, or maybe there’s something that makes B a danger to them... they still make it work. Despite all of A’s misgivings, despite their hesitation, etc, B genuinely earns their trust. Not through words... through actions.
Careful touches, protecting them, doing quiet personal activities like stargazing with them, giving them space when they need it, treating them like they’re both equal in size, the list goes on for ages.
But this very much feeds into another big thing I love that’s a bit more niche: Fearplay.
What I mean by that is: Characters A and B interact in a way where one acts threateningly, or maybe just a bit ‘shady,’ but there’s not any genuine danger involved. Neither party is ACTUALLY at risk, it’s all an act. Or a trust exercise. Usually, they’re both in on it, so it’s a mutual thing. Maybe the larger party acts intimidating to the smaller one because the smaller one finds it fun, or thrilling. They like to indulge them. It still all comes back to trust, because B could easily ACTUALLY hurt A, but A knows they never would and that it’s all an act. It’s the rush of thrillseeking without any of the danger.
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I’m not a very trusting person, generally... but I want to be. I constantly WANT to trust people, but it’s gotten me burned countless times over. It’s my instinct to believe people at face-value, or to overlook mistreatment. Yet, it very often gets me bitten. I want to give my trust to people, and to have it valued and respected so I may rest comfortably in their presence.
So, to see a smaller character WANT to trust a bigger one... and they don’t get burned because of it??? That’s so enticing to me. That’s amazing. I could see it over and over and it’d never get old. Characters giving their trust, freely or not, and having it be held, cherished, and respected by the other person without question will forever be one of the biggest things that draws me to G/T. Because while it can be done with normal sized characters... there’s something so much more potent about a giant cherishing another’s trust like a prized treasure.
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hiiiiiii! can i ask what kind of pellets you feed your rabbits? and do you use timothy hay for them? and can i ask for some tips on how to take care of them? i have a rabbit too but it's my first time taking care of one, so i still kinda don't know what to do yet heheheh. it's fine if you don't want to answer though heheheheheh
hi! i’ll answer this ofc hehe im not an expert by any means but these r just precautions me and my sister take from videos about rabbits and even asking my friends for advice ^^ so sorry for the small text!
1) rn we use smallworld’s brand for pellets - it works perfectly fine and my rabbits really like them so it works the best for us !! oxbow is a good brand too and probably recommended by a lot of rabbit owners
2) we use timothy hay yes ! if ur rabbit is really young and small, use alfalfa. and please remember to always always ALWAYS keep your hay stocked and accessible to ur rabbit. this is an important part of their diet and if they dont get to eat hay for a long while, they’ll go into this stage called GI Stasis. its very very deadly for rabbits bc it affects their intestines and since rabbits dont have the ability to throw up or fart it out, their intestines is a good place to check if your bunny is okay.
3) consider getting them spayed / neutered ! i know that pet owners are 50/50 on the spaying / neutering topic, but i’d say it’s quite beneficial. rabbits are territorial and have a dominant-submissive relationship with other rabbits. when unspayed/unneutered rabbits become mature, they will mark the place that is unrecognizable to them as their territory. whether it’s chinning, pooping, even spraying pee everywhere to put their scent on said places. it’s super troublesome and they’ll also try and reproduce if they’re unspayed/neutered because their hormones are going absolutely crazy. if your rabbit is a female rabbit, PLEASE go get her spayed. female rabbits who are not spayed are prone to uterine tumours.
i think thats everything regarding health so let’s talk about bunnyproofing your home!
4) my rabbits are free roamed during the day and we put them back in their cages when we go to sleep and we let them back out the next day. my rabbits are neutered so we don’t really have to worry about their past behaviors of spraying pee everywhere. we blocked out every little space that my rabbits could get into bc theyre very curious little things and could possibly get themselves in danger.
5) keep your cords and cables OUT OF SIGHT!!!! rabbits are so so SOOOO notorious for destroying anything and everything that gets in their way and unfortunately almost every household has a fuckton of cords and cables and theyre all bound to be cut by rabbits. getting cable covers is a good idea but we never got one, my dad just replaces them BDSNBS
6) cardboard r good toys for rabbits and they can chew on them! just watch them and make sure they dont chew too much otherwise it’s possible for them to get intestinal blockages (which i thought song had but… he was jusg constipated and gassy…) sticks are also good!! my mom takes apple sticks from my grandma’s garden and dries them up before giving them to my rabbits :)
7) i live in a carpeted apartment and having rabbits is like … homicide for the carpet :/ if u live in the same type of apartment as me pls make sure ur rabbit doesnt rip up the carpet as often 😭
8) RABBITS CAN BE TRAINED TO USE LITTERBOXES!!!!!! we didnt really have to train my rabbits, they just started using the litterboxes on their own and u can do this by putting their poops in the box with some hay and bc of the scent, it’ll make them think that that is their territory :3 it’ll save u so much trouble and less poop to clean up. other places will advice u to get like chips for the pee to soak in but we just use a regular like pee pad for dogs bc its easy to change out
9) block out any small spaces that they could potentially get into. that includes spaces under the bed, under the couch, behind the tv where there are cords and cables, dressers - i don’t have this problem with song bc hes bigger in size and he knows he cant fit, but i have this problem with sang! hes much much smaller and he fits in small spaces and crawls in them easier and its just a pain to get him out so keep this in mind if ur rabbit is a menace and smaller in size ^
i think thats everything for bunnyproofing? so here r some other like things fhat we do for my rabbits
10) rabbits are just like cats and dogs, they settle for anything in terms of toys - i gave sang a small box and he plays with it and chews on it. its important to give them something to chew on if theyre not chewing hay bc rabbits’ teeth grow out suuuuper fast and u have to keep them chewing on something bc if u dont, and their teeth grow out, it could cause some growth problems!
11) u dont have to worry about bathing them. like at all. rabbits clean themselves way often than normal, they dont smell either! the only times that should be okay to bathe them is if they r really fucking dirty for example soaked in their own pee. do not AND I MEAN DO NOT regularly bathe them bc it sends them into a shock and could even cause death. we’ve had to do this to song and sang before they were neutered bc theyd be really dirty and soaked in pee and it’s just… gross to see them like that. (if u really really have to bathe them, use baby shampoo! its easier for their skin and their fur)
12) fun fact: rabbits LOVE bananas. they absolutely go fucking crazy over it - just dont give them too much fruits like strawberries and apples in one day bc they could get diabetes 😭 we let our rabbits eat as much as they want bc they stop when they dont want to eat anymore of the banana anyway. unless its song. song doesnt stop eating.
13) rabbits are actually very smart! u can put them in a routine with their meals like if u get them used to eatinf at around 11 am or earlier, they know the time of when they’ll be eating. for me tho song runs over to his bowl when he hears the rattling of the pellets in the scooper we have.
14) rabbits shed yes!! u can use a comb to get the shedding off but do not use a wired one. they have sensitive skin like fr fr sensitive skin and wired combs could cause abrasions on their skin which is never a good thing!!!
15) rabbits are, by nature, prey animals. they are naturally good at hiding their pain and sickness so its very very easy to miss them. u can easily tell if a rabbit isnt feeling well is if they are keeping to themselves, their ears are cold, they lose appetite, they dont move as much - something that’s not common to their usual behavior. so always keep an eye out for them!
i think thats everything i could think of ???? theyre high maintenance yeah just like any other animal but they are quite easy to take care of ! theyre also really really funny animals its adorable and i could fr watch them do their own thing every day.
they can be a lil bitch but tbh its so worth it, they are such cute critters. I JUST AGH I HOPE THIS HELPED U CAN ALWAYS SEND ME AN ASK ABT SOMETHINF AND I’LL GLADLY ANSWER IT FOR U!!!
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hey so I agree with a lot of the stuff in your post about the transphobia involved in the origin of the pansexual label, but I just have one question: what are the actual impacts of people with good intentions calling themselves pan? If you don't hate pansexuals and consider them bi, why type up a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of the origin of the label if it means the same thing in the way that most non transphobic people (your audience) use it? a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways (like bi and lesbian and anything really) and plenty of valid identities from problematic roots and evolve over time as people use them differently (queer, transsexual). so how is a person with good intentions using a not-perfect label in a way you don't like a threat to the community? if someone is using the label pan transphobically, wouldn't their bigotry exist independently? if pan people do not act in transphobic ways besides using the label pansexual, realistically what is changing if they call themselves bi beyond holier-than-thou aesthetic activism? plus, a blog on the internet isn't going to get everyone to stop identifying as pansexual, especially considering multiple prominent celebrities ID as pan. so why spend all that energy quibbling on semantics because some bi people use a slightly different word when you could be worrying about Literally anything else? just feels like you want to find something to argue about lol. extremely disappointed that I had to break a mutual
im going to respond to each thing you bring up chronologically- im not trying to nitpick or prioritize certain things you say ill just forget things if i go out of order and i dont want to miss something important. ALSO! i will be typing less formally (like keysmashes and shortening words n stuff) in this response than my og post bc its 1am as im starting to type this so im tired but i want to be clear that i am like. taking this seriously and im not like. mocking u in anyway if it could read that way?? i hope not but just in case anyways here it goes!
in terms of actual impact people with good intentions identifying as pan: honestly im not sure the full scope of the impact this has, so ill only be speaking to what ive personally seen which might not be all. but like... id argue my younger self has good intentionals iding as pan. i wanted to support trans people, even if i didnt understand a lot of the nuance involved. as a result of this, i developed a sense of superiority over other bisexuals and a mentality that bisexuality was a primitive and lesser sexuality. that mentality is harmful, and although im not sure if it affected bisexuals around me (of which there are many most of my friends are bi ajfjfjf) its still a harmful mentality and can easily hurt people even if i specifically didnt. also using it even with good intentions, which i know many people have, still spreads and further normalizes a label that imo can not be separated from its transphobic origins. this effect is not as extreme as other forms of transphobia and biphobia by A LONG SHOT. the bi community faces a lot of other issues but that doesnt mean this one isnt worth addressing if that makes sense?
if i dont hate pansexuals: ik this is part of a larger point which i will adress but i specified this in my post bc i see a lot of other posts that are negative towards pansexuality have "i hate pan ppl" somewhere in it or a close equivalent. i do not shame these ppl for their anger, i just wanted to be clear i think a lot of pan ppl are bi ppl with good intentions choosing a label they dont fully understand based on a misunderstanding of bisexuality.
why write a paragraphs long manifesto on the harms of pansexuals origin: ok 😭😭 the real reason here is that im literally just bad at summarizing. like thats literally it. i also like talking, its a bad combination. plus ive been thinking abt this for like. over a year im not even kidding and just like i have a lot of thoughts and figured if i was going to bother making my own post instead of rbing someone elses that i might as well get everything i wanted to say off my chest. ALSO BTW i literally got an ask like a week ago that was several paragraphs long asking me to explain my thoughts on why pan was harmful and some other stuff so like. this is partially responding to that and partially just me wanting to air my grievances ? idk if thats the right expression 😔😔
why write the post if my audience of people who identify as pan arent doing it in a transphobic way ? again sorry i didnt really understand the phrasing so i hope this is a vaguely correct summary!! um but like... again imo i think pan cant be separated from its transphobia and like. again imo iding as pan is like. a transphobic action/choice? obviously one transphobic thing does mean someone necessarily is like officially a Transphobe (it CAN be depending on the action but i dont think that applies here) but that doesnt mean there arent problems with what they did. this is like very complicated, but like. someone doing something harmful without the knowlege that its harmful doesnt make that person a bigot by any means it just means they didnt know. and i feel thats the case here? a lot of ppl (myself included until recently) know next to nothing abt pansexualitys origins so a trans inclusve sexuality might seem like a safe and good bet just because they dont know too much abt it, and like? i cant hate those people cause that was me for 5+ years and djgjfjdj you just dont know what you dont know!
basically i think iding with a transphobic label is inherently a singular transphobic action that doesnt make the person transphobic by itself, but is still a transphobic instance.
a lot of identities can be used in transphobic ways like bi, lesbian, etc.: this is true and a point i attempted to make on my original post, but i might not have clear enough. my issue with pan is specifically that it is a transphobic response to a preexisting identity. lesbian isnt an attempted trans inclusive indentity that replaced an identity that already existed (which have many trans ppl identifying with the og label). transphobes can use whatever labels they want, but transphobes using a label vs a label having a transphobic origin is very different. bigots use inclusive and supporting language for their bigotry all the time but language that originated with that bigotry is worse.
many valid identities stem from problemstic origins (like transsexual and queer) but the words evolve: ok my paraphrasing is a little weird there. anyways. the thing here is that. those are slurs. reclaimed slurs that can be empowering to many people, yes, but slurs nonetheless. reclaiming a slur is taking a harmful word and wearing it as a badge of pride. first off, pansexual is not a slur (ur not implying that in anyway just. saying) and it isnt being reclaimed when people dont treat it as having harmful origins. transsexual is the way some people identify but ppl acknowlege its a slur and originates from transphobia. ppl love to act like queer isnt a slur, which is an issue in and of itself, but just. factually it has historically and is currently being used against ppl with the intent to hurt them. pansexual isnt on the same level as these and other words like the f slur, d slur, etc. pansexual originates from trans and biphobia WITHIN the community and not outside of it, and most pansexuals dont see themselves as reclaiming the title because they dont think anythings wrong with it in the first place. and reclaiming it just seems unnecessary considering its history? theres no empowerment from using pan as a label as opposed to queer or transsexual, and it just divides the bisexual community for no reason.
how is a person using a not-perfect label a threat to the community? ok i dont think its a threat but still an issue if that difference makes sense? id like to reiterate a few things ive said before, but for me personally, it made me look down on bisexuals and see them as lesser, and it made people around me see pan as the "trans inclusive" sexuality as opposed to bisexuality, and basically its usage just leads to further biphobia. is this the worst of biphobia? no!!! but its still biphobia and why not attempt to target and minimize that? i have no way to singlehandedly stop biphobia, but my post might get through to my friends who id as pan and that small thing is better than nothing.
if someone used the pan label in a transphobic way, wouldnt that bigotry be different from people using it not transphobically?: someone claiming all bi ppl are transphobic and only pan is the acceptable label is obviously a lot worse than someone iding as pan and saying bi/pan solidarity but again, the second isnt not an issue because the first one is a bigger issue, its just a smaller issue in comparison. i wouldnt say the bigotry is different, one is just worse than the other, but it still has the same problems.
if pan people dont do anything transphobic other than id as pan then what changes with iding as bi over pan other holier-than-thou activism: its just one less person using a transphobic label? which isnt that big but it might lead to their friends stopping iding as pan and cause fewer people around them to see bi as a transphobic identity. which is small scale stuff, i wont try to blow it out of proportion, but thats still a step in the right direction and hopefully more people follow with it. its not terribly huge or lifechanging but something small that may only affect the people close to you is still something rather than nothing.
a blog the internet isnt going to get people to stop iding as pan: oh absolutely not. honestly i expected to get unfollowed/blocked more than change peoples minds regarding the pan label (im surprised i only lost two followers so far honestly) but again, someone literally asked me to do this and i wanted to be clear on my stance on the label, since in the past ive been supportive of it. im not expecting the post to get more than five likes, its more directed to my followers rather than the internet as a whole. im not expecting a large impact, im hoping to change the minds of my followers and friends who id as and support the pan label. thats it. if something bigger comes from it- great! but thats not what im aiming to do.
prev point + many prominent celebrities id as pan: the first name that comes to mind is someone im not a fan of for separate reasons but thats irrelevant. i mean im repeating myself a bit but some celebrities in the past validated and made me feel excited abt my identity as a pan person when they came out, and it justified the label to me, even when i had doubts. i have never interacted with a celebrity and do not plan to change their minds abt their identity. again, my post was for my friends and followers and maybe who ever was scrolling through the biphobia tag and decided to read my post.
why spend that much energy worrying abt the pan label instead of something else: ive spent waaaaay more energy thinking abt a singular meme i didnt like regarding my favourite rwby character so like. maybe i just overreact to things lol. maybe i have a lot of energy and since i cant talk my friends ears off abt my favourite fruits or the different voting methods i learned in my math class or what would dreams taste like, then i gotta put my energy into something. idk. i have a lot of energy and honestly? this didnt take that much. but i felt it weighing on me as my friends talked positively abt the pan label, when i felt guilty for the superiority i felt over my bi friends INCLUDING my best friend and favourite person in the world so like. i spent enough energy worrying abt it, and like. in hindsight since its been over 12 hours since posting it, im thinking abt it less. i was more worried abt feeling dishonest with my friends than actually worrying abt pansexuality, but i figured i owed them an explanation for why my feelings around it had changed.
just feels like you want to find something to argue about: okay i DO love arguing but im not pulling this out of my ass for fun. its in response to posts ive seen on my dash, asks i recieved abt pansexuality, and my way of letting people know my views have changed and why since i know at least some people are curious.
i am sorry to lose a mutual as well, and i genuinely hope things go well for you, but uh yeah thats that.
again, if people have further questions im willing to answer them i just might take a while bc i have school and other stuff 2 do but uhhh yea sorry if im clogging ur dash sjfjfkkf
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Cat Owners!! Living in small(er) apartments!! I need some advice!!
I moved out of my parents’ place earlier this year, into a decent sized apartment (imo) with my partner. We’ve been meaning to get pets for what seems like forever and finally wanna make it happen. We decided to not get a dog for now, because a) we’d prefer a bigger dog over a smaller dog but don’t think our landlord woudl allow it and b) if covid fucks off by spring 2021, we’re probably gonna be travelling a lot. Soooo.. A cat it is!! Now, I’ve been trying to educate myself on being a cat owner (my parents’ owning a cat in a big ass house just doesn’t compare), and here’s a few things the internet tells me: 1. It’s preferable to get 2 cats, especially if you’re not home much, because they’re less likely to get bored, lonely, ill, etc, ESPECIALLY in an apartment and the cat won’t get to go outside much -> both my partner and I currently work from home and will continue to do so within the foreseeable future. Is it cruel to keep just one cat? -> if we end up getting a younger cat or even two cats, we’d wanna try to leash train them so we can take them on walks. We wouldn’t continue leash training or taking them outside if they end up hating it 2. You need AT LEAST 1 litterbox per cat, preferably more -> I’m pretty sure I’d manage to squeeze 2 litter boxes into our apartment, both in different rooms, but I don’t think we’d have the space for a 3rd one. Does 1 litterbox per cat suffice if you clean it on a super regular basis? Few more things I’m worried about: 1. Windows. A lot of people say that tilted windows are super dangerous for cats and I’m,, stressing abt it. 2. We have a rooftop deck and I don’t think I’d let the kitties go on there unsupervised because they could climb on top of the roof very easily. There’s no way to set up a cat net to prevent that so.. cat on a leash it is.
I’m a big ass cat lover and would love nothing more than a little furball of joy to join our family I’m just,, very scared to do smt wrong and it’s keeping me from actually pursuing the adoption process.. help a friend out pls!!
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