#its 1 am give me a break
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cryptidcanid19 · 5 months ago
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???????
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hairydykecunt · 10 months ago
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there has got to be a nicer way to say that i don’t care about befriending these cis white men to my friend. Please please i don’t care if they’re nice i don’t care omg😭😭😭 We have nothing in common and so do u guys. pls. Stawp it
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coridallasmultipass · 4 months ago
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Halloween costume hint:
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(The stitch marker and the word that describes this colour-pattern of yarn [or fabric] are 2 more hints.)
#i make no guarantees of finishing in time for halloween tho im going thru a lot rn#i DID finish a second pair of Scream yarn socks today tho!!#i just wanted to give my fingers a little break from knitting socks but i have other halloween sock yarn i plan on working on#(november is halloween 2 for me)#but yeah i saw a sample of yarn using this type of seamless cast on (provisional cast on / circular tubular cast on) last night...#...while half asleep and was immediately like Oh. I HAVE to do that costume idea now.#i flubbed the crochet part bc the way i did it made the stitches twisted when i knitted it...#...and i had to pull out every crochet stitch one by one. lol. but at least i know for next time how i gotta crochet it to be open stitches#also i knit backwards (mirrored) so i was surprised i managed to figure out the tutorial on the first go...#...bc the person filming described their actions instead of just showing it so i only needed to listen. it makes a world of difference to me#anyway. now that i got that started i have been shaking in pain all day i gotta try n shower before it gets too late#apparently my new back xrays show that my back does have an issue. but not on the spot thats hurting lmao.#so i get to do an mri and see a back specialist ughhh. also the pharmacy is refusing to fill pain meds for me. it sucks.#AND i finally got a physical therapy appointment.... for the middle of december.... guys i injured my back and#....have been trying to get in to PT since fucking MAY. its OCTOBER.#like fuck my life man i can barely fucking walk. i can barely take care of myself. the pain had been SO bad since i recently reinjured it#so yeah i gotta try n shower before i pass out from the pain.#knitting#Cori.exe#Image.exe#fiber art#horror#halloween#also like this yarn is the closest i could get to colour accuracy that i have in my yarn bin and i only have 1 skein of it which is perfect#bc it means i get to use up probably the whole skein and it makes a difference in the amount of yarn i need to use out of my bin lol#especially bc what other use am i ever going to get out of one skein of yarn? nothing but socks take one skein.#my worst yarn habit is seeing a cool yarn and then buying just one or two skeins. like thats fine for a hat or scarf...#...but i need to learn to knit and crochet more things. id like to make a sweater at least once in my life lmao#((sweater yarn gets so expensive tho bc u need so much. and we're back to me wanting to reduce my yarn stash))#personal
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cheswirls · 1 year ago
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hhhhhhhhhhhh saboace royalty au. ace was crown prince but can’t use magic which is necessary to become king, so he renounces his title and becomes infamous for his eccentric tendencies to play up the illusion that he’s truly not meant for the throne and that his younger sibling has full rights to the title of heir.
sabo is born to a family serving in the royal court, has been a genius magician since he was a child, and is the perfect example of a young man fully educated to serve at the king’s side. which is why he’s allowed himself to be tied down into a loveless political engagement with the king’s heir, putting the whims of his family before his own and resigning himself to become the future ruler’s consort/spouse to legitimize his role as an advisory right-hand man.
but then the heir grows rebellious and denounces the engagement with sabo in public and ace swoops in to save the day (and sabo’s reputation), demanding his father give sabo to him instead. he steals sabo away and challenges his sibling’s right to the throne, intent on earning back the title not for himself, but so he can make sabo (who is heavily qualified to rule) the king - and since they’ll be wed, no one will be able to undermine sabo’s position as he will technically be part of the monarchy that governs the kingdom.
#op#i…aaaaaaaaaaaa iykyk but if you dont small tangent story time#i asked friends for magical show recs w unique magic concepts bc i decided to set the#toxic codependent forever-bond in a fantasy au so i can make it be a set of self-inflicted curses#the only free time i have is walking to and from work so ive been scribbling notes on my phone#thinking of what type of magic system to have for this one was becoming a distraction#esp since the focus rly isn’t on magic itself and only on aspects of the bond that show how unhealthy it is#instead of obsessing over it more i decided to have someone decide for me#flash forward one of them brings up using the fantasy yuri anime that came out early this year#then proceeds to give me the rundown of all seven published light novels until i cave and watch the pilot episode#its SO good i actually watched 2 and love anis and euphie and will definitely be reading the LN over winter break#also completely snapped me away from the au bc i am so in love w this now#went in to ep 1 with misconstrusions and fell halfway thru screaming this is so saboace core and i have a halfbaked plot at the ready#thinking smth smth sabo visits the palace to get acquainted w/ fiancee and makes fast friends w/ ace#then they realize they have legit feelings for each other and the whole thing was gonna be a play#on the steals-partner-from-sibling trope that i jus loosely dreamed up bc algard reminded me of sabo and then i couldnt not think of them#but then i finished the ep and went OH it went down like that!!!! thats brutal. and then i changed it#and then i watched ep 2 and changed it further based on glossed-over advanced plot knowledge#bc the solution to algard feeling pressure from a title he never wanted and anis rejecting it in the first place#is obv (in this very yuri-centric fantasy novel) to make euphie queen instead and legitimize it by her marrying anis#and then i hyper projected that onto saboace bc i love them so#yessa after letting me ramble abt this so i could resist the urge to furiously jot down notes: i think val made you worse actually#(shes not wrong also val responding w ‘lmao wlw wins again’ and nothing else had me in stitches#best/worst influence it is 5am and i have done nothing for my studio class yet am having the time of my life)#curse of the average hobbyist writer to always have good ideas when there is no time no breathe life into them#writing
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arnold-layne · 8 months ago
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gonna try to post a new pirate chap today. that is if i dont collapse upon coming home, which happens almost every time
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dallonwrites · 11 months ago
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organised everything i have for it so far + tentatively cut some things (that i may put back if i find there’s missing beats but otherwise they were kinda unnecessary for the current vision) and refined my chapter two outline so if i have time at work tomorrow i can play around with it and write something like yayyyy i love when past me sets myself up like this
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wolfwarrior142 · 1 year ago
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Also it's wild that Soren doesn't consider that Ez is really mature possibly because he, too, has experienced trauma that would badly fuck with someone his age.
" you can't just do adult stuff now, or you'll grow up all weird. like your brother and rayla."
-soren, calling trauma what it is since 2023
#like shit man all the kids have been through too much for how young they are but ESPECIALLY Ez#hes still a legit child! he technically isnt even a teen yet! hes been through too much for a kid his age!!#like did yall SEE how scared and worried he looked at some points in episode 8??? he was very quiet but there are multiple moments where its#clear from his expression that he was so scared and worried. ESPECIALLY towards the end when Rayla calls for Callum as hes being frozen#the terrified and worried and defeated look Ez gives from behind Rayla and Soren actually breaks my heart#he saw his brother beaten up and rayla tortured and almost killed in front of him and now hes seeing his brother being tortured as well#he legit looked like he was thinking 'this is it. were done for. were not gonna make it out of this.' he legit looks so broken down and#terrified and given up and it both breaks my heart and makes me so mad#i am so glad that no one harmed or even touched ez that episode cuz i would have gone off even worse than i did about rayla and callum#dont fucking touch him. hes such a precious and brilliant kid and cares so much and hes a CHILD and hes already been through so much leave#him ALONE. man when i tell you i was livid at claudia in epsiode 9. i mean it. never before have i wanted to beat the shit out of her more#than when she attacked and tried to manipulate the boys and especially when she threatened ez like she did. ooooohhh i wanted to go off so#bad. i was so glad to see rayla and callum protect him as best they could and save him. and rayla hugging ez close and refusing to let him#go until claudia fucked all the way off was so nice. cuz like damn man i wanted to do the same.#hes just such a precious brilliant caring kid and it breaks my heart to see him struggling and think about what hes been through at such a#young age. like soren no wonder why hes so serious#the fact he can even be so sweet and bright and cheery and caring despite that is amazing and makes me even more protective of him#tdp#ez#ezran#of course i might be biased cuz i legit want to name a future kid of mine ezran but thats because 1) its just a good name on its own#and 2) hes just such a precious and sweet and kind and caring kid. and its the only name from the show i even want to use as a name like#that and one of the only names of fictional characters id consider using. cuz its a nice name on its own and hes such a good person#and funny enough for a while now ive also really wanted to name a kid ellie. no not because of tlou i just really love the name on its own#and have since before i even learned the story of the games. me really adoring ellie after watching playthrus of the games was a coincidence#so was me picking 2 e names as my first pick names. its funny but legit was 100% unintentional. i just genuinely truly love both names#and ez is a precious kiddo who needs to be protected at all costs#christ i need to stfu and get back to work
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inner-community · 10 months ago
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also i cant even practice driving because our car is dead and our neighbor NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE so we cant put my dads car next to it to jump it. i want to scream. i guess it helps complaining though so i can stop thinking about it so much and getting so stressed. i just feel like i need to be doing 10000000000 things.
really i just need to do 2 things rn - call the test people & send an email to the dmv guys. then when those are done i can study. and if i have to make a psych appt it would be fine because i should ask for my as needed klonopin back because i think i am still good for the most part it's just my anxiety randomly goes thru the roof and i need help w it. (weed has been making it worse. why would my best friend weed do this to me...)
i also should really remember every day to take my mushroom supplement because i cant overstate how much of a diff it makes taking it regularly.
also i need my wife to stop asking about tax stuff for A Minute because i know what we are doing i just need time to execute it all and i have to do all of the above bullshit first!!!!!!
#like we need to send a mail version of our taxes bcs they wouldnt accept the gross income from last year as the right one?????????#so i have to send them in#and i want to be able to pay it in full!!!#so then our 23 taxes can be on a pay plan and then everything will be set up perfect and beautiful.#deep breaths.#im fine aghhhh#im so scared im gonna stress too much and make myself have more health issues#i need to be calmed#it really doesnt help that my love has no work rn and hasnt since august#bcs it means that i am paying for everything and it quickly gets overextended#so i CANT save anything. i can barely pay my credit cards and shit.#so like i havent been able to build up money to pay tax shit!!!!!#so i feel like i have to work MORE but i cant just make my current clients give me more work lmao#and so more work means making my free time into art for other people time#which i dont mind usually but rn its making my brain scream#so#i think i just need a Real Fucking Break no strings attached and also that doesnt cost anything and i get paid like normal during. haha#im hoping if i can somehow break down the driving stuff wall and get that done#that the combo of being able to drive to work and thus cutting off like 1-2 hrs of time from my work#and also doing less work and more school! will be good#i like school i really like in person classes#my brain just absorbs it all#ok im calming more now. im ujst so scared all the time#and im too good at keeping it to myself bcs i cant be Weak
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aahsoka · 11 months ago
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i hate my fucking drawing class soooo muchhhh
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sweetpeaachtea · 1 year ago
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mY Cat
My cat just vomfited
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drewsephrry · 12 days ago
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Love Island: Episode 1
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series masterlist
pairings: rafe cameron x reader
words: 7.1k
warnings: sexual innuendos, cuss words, alcohol consumption
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The sun rises over the sparkling villa, casting a golden glow across the shimmering pool. The soft hum of waves crashing in the distance mixes with the faint chirping of birds, setting the stage for a summer of romance and surprises. Lush greenery surrounds the villa, its vibrant colors reflecting the energy of the Islanders who have just arrived.
Y/N stands among the other girls, a mixture of nervousness and anticipation tightening her chest. Her fingers fidget with the ring on her hand, a tell-tale sign of her anxiety. She glances at the others, their faces lighting up as Ariana Madix approaches.
“Welcome, girls, to Love Island! I hope you're all excited!” Ariana exclaims, her positive energy contagious. The group erupts in giggles and excited squeals, but Y/N remains reserved, her smile small yet sincere.
“Okay, so things are a little different this year…” Ariana's voice cuts through the chatter. The girls exchange looks of confusion and curiosity. Y/N shifts on her feet, her mind racing. Different could mean anything.
“Elaborate!” Sarah yells as the girls chuckle and even Ariana joins.
“You all thought that you'd be stepping forward for the boys that you fancy the most, yeah? However, this is Love Island and you never know what to expect.” The girls wait in anticipation. “For the first time ever we asked the public to play cupid and pick the boy they thought you should couple up with.”
The girls all are shocked as they look at each other. Y/N’s heart sinks and soars simultaneously. A mix of relief and dread washes over her. No pressure to choose, but what if the public got it wrong?
“Oh my god! He's gonna be short, gonna have no tattoos, ugly.” Kiara says, crossing the lines between humor and honesty. The girls chuckle at her reaction.
“How are you feeling? Is this a good thing? The decision is out of your hands, it's up to the public so, are you not happy?” Ariana asks, the girls giggle.
“I can't see any good in this. This is like the worst situation for me. I'm shitting it.” Cleo exclaims with Kiara nodding, agreeing with her.
“How are you feeling about this twist, Y/N?” Ariana’s voice breaks her thoughts and she blinks glancing around.
“Yeah, no, I don't know. It would probably be nerve-wracking for the boys to choose among these gorgeous girls.” She says pointing at the girls beside her, as they all giggle. Maddy shoves her playfully.
“You too, hon.” Maddy adds and Y/N shakes her head, smiling.
“But I guess it's a good thing. I don't know. We're just gonna have to wait and see.” Y/N smirks and Ariana nods, as she reads her card.
“Are you ready to meet our first boy? I am so excited, I can't wait any longer. Please meet JJ.” She introduces as JJ emerges from the villa.
JJ walks out with his flirty attitude, charming all of the girls, including Ariana before she announces that the public has paired him up with Maddy. Y/N claps along with the others as he rushes to Maddy, giving her a side hug. They seem happy, as she smiles and looks ahead to the presenter.
“Are you happy with this decision? JJ, how about you? You good to give things a go?” Ariana asks and JJ nods, his hand finding a place on Maddy’s waist.
“I'm happy. Yeah, definitely.” He replies.
“You got no choice!” Maddy teases and he chuckles nodding.
“True, true.”
Ariana smiles and looks down at her cards again, before moving ahead.
“Okay, 4 single girls left, are you ready to meet our next boy?” She asks and the girls nod “Here is Rafe!”
The nerves in Y/N’s stomach double as Ariana introduces the next boy. The name barely registers before he emerges. He has buzzed hair, piercing cerulean eyes that glint under the sunlight, as they scan the line of girls. Y/N feels her breath catch. His toned physique is impossible to ignore, but it is the sharp yet boyish smile tugging at his lips that sends her pulse racing.
“Hello and welcome to Love Island, Rafe!” Ariana greets him as Rafe nods.
“Hi, thank you.” He responds smoothly as he looks at the girls standing in front of him. His eyes linger a fraction longer on Y/N. She looks down, suddenly hyper-aware of herself. He then turns back to Ariana who has asked him a question.
“Sorry?” He asks and Ariana chuckles.
“I asked if you like our villa? But I guess you got distracted by our beautiful single ladies!” Ariana teases and Rafe's grin widens.
“Yeah, yeah. Umm…it's unreal” He answers.
“You happy to stay here for a while?” She asks and he nods.
“Yeah, I hope so anyway.” He replies, cheekily and the girls giggle.
“What about these ladies in front of you?” Ariana asks, looking straight at Y/N. “Is there someone who caught your eye already?” Y/N widens her eyes and hides her face in her hands. Rafe chuckles, looking down before looking up at her.
“They're all absolutely stunning but yeah…one did.” His voice drops slightly, but the microphone catches his confession. Y/N freezes, her cheeks heating. The other girls gasp and giggle, nudging her teasingly.
“It's time to get coupled up.” Ariana announces, before explaining to Rafe about this year's change in rules. Rafe nods and seems hopeful for the result.
“Okay, Rafe, the girl you're coupling up with is…Y/N. Go on over.” When Ariana reveals that the public has paired him with Y/N, her heart thuds loudly in her ears. She tries to steady her breath as Rafe approaches, his confident stride softening when he reaches her.
“Hey, you alright?” He asks, his voice low, almost intimate, as he opens his arms.
“Yeah, you?” Y/N replies, her voice barely above a whisper. She steps into his embrace happily, his warmth enveloping her. Rafe nods and moves to stand behind her. His hand is hovering over her waist.
“Is this okay?” He asks, meeting her gaze before she nods. His touch settles lightly on her waist. A jolt of electricity seems to spark between them and they both stiffen for a moment, glancing at each other as if to confirm what they feel. Y/N smiles shyly, her heart racing.
“Rafe, how are you feeling? I saw a bit of a smile while you were walking over there. Did the public choose wisely?” Ariana teases and he chuckles, nodding.
“Yeah, definitely. I'm a happy man. 100%.” He admits, grinning widely. His words are sure and his tone is light but genuine.
“Y/N, he's 100% happy, what about you?” Ariana asks and Y/N turns her attention back to her.
“Yeah, he's cute. I'm happy.” Y/N nervously answers, her voice falters slightly under everyone’s gaze, but her smile doesn’t waver. Rafe chuckles, looking down at her with a glimmer of amusement and something softer.
“Good.” He murmurs just for her to hear, his hand tightening ever so slightly at her waist.
“And there we have it! Our second couple!” Ariana announces as everyone cheers and applauds. Y/N feels Rafe’s presence at her side like an anchor. His confidence is magnetic, but it is the way he subtly checked on her, making sure she was comfortable, that stays with her. Maybe the public got it right after all.
The coupling ceremony continues. The public pairs Topper with Sarah, John B with Cleo and Pope with Kiara.
“That's it! Now, we have our gorgeous 5 couples!” Ariana announces, introducing each one, her energy lighting up the group.
“So you're now gonna spend time as couples. Doing challenges together. Sharing a bed together. Living together. How does that sound?” Ariana asks and the group erupts in cheers, Topper hollering loudly as Sarah chuckles beside him.
“In eight weeks time, the public will be voting for their favorite couple.” Ariana continues, her tone teasing yet firm. “And that couple stands to win a massive prize of 100,000 dollars. But remember guys, this is Love Island and the path to true love never runs smooth.” She pauses to let her words sink in.
“I'm gonna leave you to get to know each other and I will see you very soon. Have fun.” Ariana walks off, leaving the Islanders buzzing with anticipation. They cluster together, conversations breaking out as everyone starts introducing themselves. Y/N finds herself standing with Rafe.
“How you feeling?” He asks, his voice deep and husky, cutting through the chatter.
“Good. Kinda nervous. But…it's okay. I'll be okay. You? What about you?” She replies, meeting his gaze, fidgeting nervously with a ring on her finger. Rafe smirks, his posture relaxing.
“No, yeah. Same. I'm shitting my pants, if I'm being honest.” He admits, earning a laugh from her.
“So what…what did you say you do?” She asks, adjusting her bikini top. Rafe watches her carefully. He hesitates for a moment, scratching the back of his neck.
“Uh, I am a business owner. We do development and construction…stuff.” He winces inwardly, annoyed at how clumsy his words sound but he couldn't help himself getting nervous in front of her. Y/N nods and smiles playfully.
“Okay, mr. Businessman!” She teases, her tone light and inviting. Rafe chuckles, her easygoing attitude calming his nerves. For the first time that morning, he feels himself relax. Y/N shifts her weight as she leans slightly closer to Rafe.
“Development and construction, huh? So, what does that mean exactly? Like…building houses and stuff?” She asks. Rafe nods, his confidence slowly returning under her curious gaze.
“Yeah, houses, commercial spaces, renovations. Pretty much anything you can think of. My family’s been in the business for a while, but I’m trying to carve out my own thing.” He explains and she nods.
“Impressive.” Y/N says, her eyes sparkling with genuine interest. “I mean, that’s no small feat. Sounds like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders.” She says and he shrugs, a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks.
“I try. What about you?” He asks, his eyes lighting up with genuine curiosity.
“I’m a baker.” She says with a proud smile. His brows lift, impressed.
“A baker? That’s amazing. How did you get into that?” He crosses his arms, his biceps flexing slightly and Y/N swallows, trying not to stare.
“Well…I’ve always loved baking.” She begins, her tone soft with nostalgia. “When I was little, my dad and I would spend weekends experimenting with recipes and making sweets for the family. It became our thing and I just fell in love with it.” She smiles at the memory, her expression warm.
“That’s incredible.” Rafe replies, his admiration evident. “It’s rare to see someone doing something they’re so passionate about. Not everyone gets that chance.”
“I know.” She says with a nod. “I’m really lucky.”
Before Rafe can respond, Sarah appears, cutting through the moment.
“Hey, want to take a tour of the villa?” She asks, Y/N glances up at Rafe, giving him the chance to answer first. He seems surprised but quickly nods.
“Yeah, sure.” He replies as Sarah leads the way and the trio heads toward the kitchen. Y/N’s eyes light up as she takes in the massive counters, mixers and gleaming appliances.
“You think you’ll show off your baking skills here, Y/N?” Sarah teases, nudging her.
“Maybe.” Y/N replies with a chuckle. “I wouldn’t mind.”
Rafe notices the sparkle in her eye as she talks about baking and before he realizes it, a wide grin spreads across his face. He’s so caught up in watching her that he misses most of their conversation.
“You okay?” Y/N’s voice pulls him from his daze, her expression tinged with concern.
“Yeah, yeah.” He says, clearing his throat and trying to play it cool.
The tour moves to the bedroom. The expansive space is lined with huge closets covered by mirrors, beds side by side and across from each other with personalized plaques. Sarah immediately finds her bed and claims it with a dramatic jump, making both Rafe and Y/N laugh. Her laughter stirs something deep inside Rafe, a longing he hadn’t expected. Y/N walks down the carpeted aisle, scanning the plaques until she spots her name.
“Here we are!” She exclaims, pointing to a bed with a bright yellow blanket. Rafe follows her and stands close, glancing at her plaque.
“Which side do you prefer?” He asks and she shrugs. “Doesn’t matter to me. But fair warning…” She says, a mischievous grin forming, “I sleep like a starfish.”
“Oh yeah?” Rafe chuckles.
“Sometimes upside down.” She adds with a laugh, earning a loud laugh from him in return.
“Good to know.” He teases. “We’ll figure it out.” Their conversation is interrupted as Sarah leads them upstairs to the bathroom and makeup room. Sarah squeals at the sight of the luxurious setup, while Y/N pauses to glance at her reflection in the mirror.
“Looking good.” Rafe murmurs as he passes behind her, heading to the balcony. Y/N’s breath hitches at his voice, and she catches herself staring as he walks away.
“You’re staring.” Sarah teases in a singsong voice.
“Shut up.” Y/N mutters, brushing past her to step out onto the balcony.
“Wow!” She breathes, taking in the stunning view.
“Right? It’s unreal.” Rafe says, leaning closer.
“I can’t believe we’re staying here all summer.” She admits, sitting on a bench. Rafe joins her, nodding.
“Yeah, pretty surreal. Great house, great view…” He glances at her with a playful smirk. “Great company, too.” “Can’t argue with that.” She grins, bumping his arm lightly. Their eyes lock and the air between them grows heavy with unspoken tension. Rafe’s gaze flickers to her lips and she unconsciously wets them with her tongue. He starts to lean in but right then, the door bursts open. Topper, Kiara and John B spill onto the balcony.
“Whoa, this view is insane!” Topper exclaims, oblivious to the moment he’s just shattered. Rafe exhales in frustration, earning a soft giggle from Y/N.
“Maybe later.” She whispers, standing and joining the girls back inside. Rafe stays behind, stunned, watching her walk away. It hasn’t even been an hour, but he already knows he can’t stay away from her for long.
The day passes quickly as the islanders get to know one another. The girls instantly click and are soon upstairs, getting ready for the evening’s first party.
“So, what did you think of the boys?” Sarah asks, running a flat iron through her hair.
“They’re very good-looking.” Maddy replies, carefully applying her mascara. Kiara and Cleo nod in agreement before turning to Y/N, who is focused on curling her hair.
“And you, Y/N?” Sarah teases, nudging her playfully. “What do you think about Rafe?” Y/N giggles, wrapping another strand of hair around the curling wand.
“The boys seem nice, fun to be around. Rafe…yeah.” She begins, pausing briefly. “He seems really sweet.”
“And very fit!” Maddy adds, prompting laughter from the group.
“That too.” Y/N agrees with a grin.
“Would you say he’s your type?” Maddy presses, her curiosity evident as Y/N nods slowly.
“He…he’s different from what I usually go for, for sure.” She reveals making the girls exchange curious glances.
“What do you mean? Different how?” Cleo asks, watching as Y/N finishes curling her last strand.
“Well, all my exes have had darker features, darker skin. I don’t mind the change, though,” Y/N admits with a small smile. “But he’s different in terms of vibe, energy…all of that. We’ve only had a couple of chats, but he made it feel so easy, like we already knew each other. I really liked that.” The girls collectively swoon.
“It’s that soulmate energy.” Cleo jokes. “Like Bluetooth syncing or something!” Her comment earns a round of laughter.
“In all seriousness, it’s great that you already feel comfortable with him,” Maddy says, nodding. “And to have good banter on the first day? That’s rare.”
The girls agree, soon transitioning to sharing how they spent their day with the boys.
“JJ asked me my bra size! Like…dude, we just met!” She exclaims, making everyone laugh.
Later, they head downstairs, all dressed to impress. Y/N wears a matching top and skirt set paired with sleek black heels. As they enter the kitchen, the boys cheer and whistle, clearly appreciating the girls’ efforts.
“Here you go.” Rafe steps forward, offering Y/N a glass of champagne with a warm smile.
“Thanks.” She replies, taking it as she leans against the counter. JJ raises his glass for a toast.
“To Love Island! To the hottest cast ever! And to finding love and friends!” JJ announces, his energy contagious. The group laughs, clinking their glasses together. Rafe turns to Y/N, raising his glass to her specifically. She chuckles, gently tapping her glass to his before taking a sip.
After some time spent chatting, JJ claps his hands to grab everyone’s attention.
“Alright, how about a game of truth or dare to break the ice? Let’s get comfortable around here.” He suggests with a grin. The boys immediately agree, their enthusiasm contagious, while the girls exchange looks before Sarah shrugs.
“Why the heck not?” She says, prompting the others to nod in agreement, before heading to the firepit. JJ holds up two small boxes labeled “Truth” and “Dare” and heads over to John B, who’s sitting on the edge of the firepit’s rounded seating.
“Alright, John B, you’re up first. Truth or dare?” JJ prompts, shaking the boxes. John B reaches for the truth box, earning boos from Kiara. He chuckles as he unfolds the slip of paper.
“‘Have you ever been to the mile-high club?’” He reads aloud, his face lighting up with amusement. The girls burst into laughter while Rafe elbows him teasingly.
“No, I haven’t.” John B admits. “But I wouldn’t mind.” He shoots a cheeky glance at the girls and Cleo rolls her eyes giggling. Passing the boxes to Rafe, John B grins.
“Your turn, Rafe. Truth or dare?” He asks as Rafe smirks, nodding toward the dare box. John B holds it out, and Rafe picks a slip, unfolding it carefully.
“‘Kiss the islander you find most attractive.’” He reads, prompting whistles and cheers from the group.
“So me, obviously!” JJ jokes, earning another round of laughter. Rolling his eyes playfully, Rafe stands up without hesitation. His eyes land on Y/N and he walks toward her, heart pounding. Leaning down, he meets her wide-eyed gaze.
“Is this okay?” He asks softly. Y/N swallows hard, her cheeks flushing. She nods, her lashes fluttering shut as he leans in. Their lips meet in a gentle kiss and Rafe’s senses are overwhelmed. Her lips are soft, sweet like vanilla, with a hint of champagne from earlier. Time seems to stop and when he pulls back, he’s left breathless. Y/N opens her eyes slowly, her chest rising and falling. She smiles shyly and Rafe returns it with a soft nod before heading back to his seat. He notices her licking her lips and glancing down as Kiara teases her.
The game continues, but Rafe can’t stop sneaking glances at Y/N, his mind replaying the kiss over and over. It’s only day one, but he knows he’s already hooked.
When it’s Y/N’s turn, Pope hands her the boxes and Maddy elbows her playfully. She hesitates for a moment before reaching toward the truth box, only to change her mind and choose dare instead. The boys cheer as she picks up the slip, her cheeks turning crimson.
“Oh no.” She mutters, drawing everyone’s attention.
“What is it?” Sarah asks eagerly.
“Come on, spill!” JJ demands and Y/N groans, reading aloud
“‘Reenact your favorite sex position with an islander of your choice.’”
The girls gasp while the boys erupt into laughter, their excitement palpable. John B claps Rafe on the back, a knowing grin on his face. Rafe tries to keep a neutral expression, but his mind races. Part of him hopes she’ll choose him, though the thought of her picking someone else stirs a pang of jealousy. When Y/N stands and adjusts her skirt, his breath catches. She walks straight toward him and his pulse quickens.
“Is this okay?” She asks softly, standing between his legs. He nods quickly, his voice caught in his throat. Y/N straddles his lap, pretending to ride him. The girls giggle and the boys holler, their cheers echoing around them. Rafe freezes, his mind blank as he takes in her closeness. Y/N notices his dumbfounded expression and stops abruptly.
“Too far?” She whispers.
“No, no…just, damn.” Rafe shakes his head and replies. She laughs softly, her smile radiant as she climbs off his lap, adjusting her skirt before returning to her seat. Rafe’s cheeks burn as John B and Topper waste no time teasing him.
“Someone’s got a boner!” Topper yells, earning an elbow from Rafe.
The game continues, filled with laughter, wild dares and revealing truths. Topper does the worm, Pope eats a spoonful of mayo and Maddy shares her craziest sex story. But no matter how much fun unfolds, Rafe’s focus keeps drifting back to Y/N and the moments they just shared.
As the game ends, the islanders begin to drift away from the fire pit, eager to chat and unwind. Sarah, Kiara and Cleo head off together, with Topper and Pope trailing behind. John B pulls Maddy toward the daybed, while JJ makes his way to the kitchen for a snack. This leaves Y/N and Rafe alone by the firepit.
“Hey, um…” Rafe begins, glancing at her as she stands by the fire, rubbing her hands for warmth. He moves closer, standing beside her.
“You having fun?” He asks, his voice soft. Y/N looks up at him and smiles warmly.
“Yeah, I am. You?”
“Yeah, yeah.” He replies, nodding, his lips curling into a small smile. Y/N hesitates before speaking again, her voice tinged with guilt.
“Oh my god, about earlier, I'm so sorry. I took it too far with the whole position thing. If I made you uncomfortable-”
“You didn't.” He interrupts firmly, his tone reassuring.
“You sure?” She presses, searching his face. “You seemed…I don't know.” Rafe chuckles softly, shaking his head.
“I was just surprised. But…” He looks her in the eyes, a playful smirk forming. "I enjoyed it." Y/N's brows shoot up in surprise.
“Oh, yeah?” She teases, a smirk tugging at her lips. “Good to know.” She adds, her voice light but her gaze steady. The air between them shifts, an undeniable tension settling in. Their chemistry crackles, their banter flowing naturally despite their nervous energy. Y/N's eyes flicker to Rafe's lips and he notices, instinctively licking them.
“You know.” He says, his voice dropping. “You're a really good kisser.”
“You think so?” She asks, her pulse quickening, palms growing clammy.
“Know so.” He replies, his confidence unwavering. “And I wouldn't mind sharing another.” He reveals, as Y/N's breath catches at his words, her heart racing. She meets his intense blue gaze, taking a moment.
“I wouldn't mind either.” She whispers. Rafe raises his brows slightly in surprise before quickly scanning the villa. Everyone seems occupied, leaving them unnoticed. Stepping closer, he positions himself in front of her, shielding her from view. His hand gently rests on her waist, while the other cups her cheek, tilting her face toward his.
“Tell me to stop.” He murmurs, his breath warm against her skin.
“I don't want you to.” She whispers back, her voice steady despite the butterflies in her stomach. That's all Rafe needs to hear. He leans in, his lips meeting hers in a passionate kiss. Y/N recovers quickly, her arms wrapping around his shoulders as he deepens the kiss. It's full of promise, desire and something neither of them fully understands yet but feels deeply.
“Oy, oy, easy there!” JJ's voice cuts through, approaching the daybed with a cheeky grin. Y/N pulls back with a laugh, her cheeks flushed, while Rafe turns to shoot JJ a middle finger. Y/N grabs his arm, pushing it down with a playful shake of her head. Then, unable to resist, she pulls him back for another peck, which quickly turns into another...and another.
When they finally part, both are breathless, their laughter mixing softly. Y/N raises her hand, gently wiping the smudged lip gloss from Rafe's lips.
“Oh, yeah, do your thing.” Rafe murmurs, his eyes fixed on her. He takes in her flushed cheeks, the way her lashes flutter and the delicate touch of her fingers brushing his skin. For a moment, the world fades away, leaving only the two of them and the spark that's becoming impossible to ignore.
“You...you okay?” He asks, his voice uncertain but filled with a need for reassurance. He wants to know the kiss meant something to you, that it wasn’t just a fleeting moment. That even after one day, he’s claimed you in some unspoken way.
“Yeah. You? Was...was it okay?” You ask softly, your brows knitting with concern as you search his face for an answer.
“It was perfect.” He admits, his voice steady and sincere. A smile tugs at your lips and he can’t help but mirror it, pulling you into his arms. His hands trail lightly over your arms, noticing the faint goosebumps there.
“I like getting to know you already.” You murmur, half-teasing but entirely honest.
“Yeah, me too.” Rafe replies, a low chuckle escaping his throat. “That's...that's definitely an interesting way to get to know someone.” You laugh softly, the sound warm and light, before the two of you begin walking back toward the group. As soon as you rejoin the others, the teasing begins, playful and relentless. You roll your eyes, face flushing as you hide behind your hands, but Rafe only watches you, his gaze lingering. Admiring.
For him, there’s no teasing in the world that could ruin this moment.
It’s finally time for the couples to head to bed. The girls gather upstairs in the makeup room, taking off their makeup, slipping into pajamas and chatting as they wind down.
“Okay, Y/N.” Kiara says with a smirk. “Spill!”
“Yeah, don’t leave us hanging like that.” Maddy adds eagerly. Y/N stammers, her cheeks flushing as she searches for the right words.
“Guys, give her a second to breathe.” Sarah says, grabbing the bottle of micellar water.
“I…it just happened.” Y/N finally manages.
“How was it?” Kiara presses, leaning closer.
“Did he use tongue?” Maddy teases.
“Ew!” Cleo exclaims, wrinkling her nose. The girls dissolve into laughter.
“Okay, okay, relax!” Y/N starts, shaking her head. “We just…we had a moment. He wanted to kiss me and I wanted to kiss him. And…it was probably the best kiss I’ve ever had.”
The girls all let out a synchronized “aww,” making Y/N laugh nervously.
“I told you, it’s that Bluetooth connection.” Cleo chimes in, earning another round of giggles.
One by one, the girls head downstairs to the bedroom. John B and JJ are being their usual goofy selves, jumping from bed to bed. Pope and Topper are deep in conversation and Rafe is sitting at the edge of the bed, quietly watching everyone with a soft smile.
Y/N is the last to enter and all eyes fall on her as she steps into the room. Her cheeks heat up under the attention, but she quickly makes her way to the bed. Rafe stands the moment he sees her, scratching the back of his neck.
“I…uh…wasn’t sure which side you wanted.” He says awkwardly. She waves it off with a small smile.
“I told you, I don’t mind.” She replies.
“Right.” He mumbles, clearing his throat. “Okay.” He moves to the right side of the bed. “This okay?” She nods, still smiling as she sets her water bottle and phone on the bedside table. Rafe watches her, mesmerized. She’s wearing an oversized hoodie, one he wishes was his and tiny shorts that barely peek out from under the hem. Her hair is in loose braids, framing her face in a way that makes his heart race. Sliding under the covers, she glances up at him.
“Aren’t you getting in?” She asks and he blinks, realizing he’s still standing.
“Right! Yeah. Yes.” He quickly climbs into bed, keeping a safe distance so she feels comfortable. The lights go out and the room is filled with quiet laughter as Topper and Sarah cuddle boldly, earning a loud holler from JJ. Maddy smacks him playfully, pulling him closer to her. The teasing dies down and soon the room grows quiet. Y/N shifts under the covers, trying not to disturb anyone as she struggles to get comfortable.
“Hey, you okay?” Rafe’s voice is soft in the dark and she turns to face him.
“Sorry.” She whispers. “I’m just not used to sleeping anywhere but my own bed.” He nods in understanding.
“Yeah, I get that.” A pause. “Do…do you wanna come closer?” Her eyes widen slightly.
“I-” “You don’t have to.” He quickly adds. “It’s the first night. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” She hesitates before inching closer, her leg lightly brushing his.
“Is…is this okay?” She asks quietly.
“It’s perfect.” He murmurs. She relaxes, settling into the space beside him. Her arm finds its way around him, her knee brushing against his thigh. Rafe’s heart pounds at the contact and he focuses on keeping his breathing steady.
“Good night.” She whispers, her eyes fluttering shut.
“Good night.” He replies, his voice barely audible. Within moments, she drifts to sleep, her body softening against his. Rafe glances down at her, a gentle smile tugging at his lips as he wraps an arm around her shoulders. Her arm instinctively tightens around his torso, making his breath catch.
Looking around the room, he sees that everyone else is already asleep. He sighs, turning his gaze to the ceiling, wondering how it’s possible to feel so much for someone he met only hours ago.
The next morning, the bedroom lights flicker on, rousing everyone from their slumber. Groans and stretches echo around the room as Y/N blinks her eyes open, realizing her head was resting on Rafe’s chest. She pulls away quickly, her face flushing.
“Sorry.” She murmurs groggily while Rafe gives her a sleepy smile, his voice low and husky.
“It’s fine.” He whispers. Y/N sighs, tugging the covers over her head.
“I don’t wanna get up.” She groans and Rafe chuckles softly, yanking the covers away.
“Come on, sleepyhead.” He teases as a small smile tugs at her lips as she sits up, rubbing her eyes. Around the room, people start asking about each other's sleep.
“What about you, Y/N?” Maddy asks and Pope smirks. “You two cuddled last night, didn’t you?” He asks teasingly. Y/N’s cheeks turn crimson.
“I slept well.” She says quickly, then hesitates. “And… yeah, we did.” Topper, from his bed, grins and leans over to give Rafe a high-five. Rafe rolls his eyes but smirks, reaching out to connect hands. Y/N shakes her head at their antics, amused despite herself. She throws the covers off and stands up as the rest of the girls follow suit, heading upstairs to start the day. As Y/N walks away, Rafe couldn’t help but watch her, his gaze lingering.
“Man, you’re whipped already.” Topper jokes.
“Shut up.” Rafe mutters, though a small grin tugs at his lips as he gets out of bed to get ready.
Not long after, the boys gather outside for a morning workout, while the girls, now dressed in bikinis, fill the kitchen with chatter as they make coffee. Rafe works out until thirst gets the better of him. He heads to the kitchen to grab a water bottle, his eyes naturally drawn to the lively scene there.
That’s where Rafe spots Y/N, standing by the counter in a tiny bikini that perfectly highlights her silhouette. She’s in her element, flipping pancakes with ease, barely acknowledging whatever JJ is saying to her or noticing Rafe’s presence. His gaze lingers as she stacks the golden pancakes on a plate. When she finally looks up, her eyes meet his.
“Oh, hey!” She says, smiling warmly.
“Hey.” Rafe replies, a small smile tugging at his lips. His skin glistens with sweat from his workout, the sun highlighting his sun kissed complexion and making his blue eyes sparkle.
“You want some? They’re sugar-free, for all you gym rats.” She teases playfully, making him chuckle and nod.
“Yeah, I’d love some.” He says and he starts to move behind the counter, but she stops him, pressing the end of the spatula lightly against his chest.
“Go sit down. I’ve got this.” She exclaims as Rafe raises a questioning brow.
“You sure? I can-” “I insist.” She cuts him off firmly. With a slight shake of his head and a grin, he backs away, taking a seat on one of the stools. Y/N stacks pancakes onto two plates, adding a dollop of yogurt, a handful of berries and a drizzle of honey. Once she’s satisfied, she carries the plates over, placing one in front of him before settling beside him.
“Here you go. I…I didn't know if this is how you wanted them. Fuck, I should’ve asked.” She mutters, scolding herself. Rafe glances at the plate, then back at her.
“Actually, just like this.” He reveals with a faint grin and she narrows her eyes playfully.
“You don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” She says.
“I’m not lying.” He replies quickly, shaking his head. “Seriously, you can ask my family or any of my friends, this is exactly how I make them too.” Y/N’s eyes widen, and Rafe can’t help but feel stunned. It’s such a small, silly thing, but it means something to him. He wonders why he hadn’t met her sooner.
They both mirror a smile before she starts to dig into her pancakes, she strikes up small talk with him, her laughter and easygoing nature making it impossible for him to look away.
Breakfast flies by and the islanders soon head to their first challenge, designed to help them get to know each other better. The setup resembles an airport, complete with a metal detector and a luggage carousel at the center. The game is simple: the girls read cards with spicy truths about the boys and try to guess which one the secret belongs to. Once they’ve guessed, they "scan" the boy and seal it with a kiss. The boy then walks through the metal detector to reveal if the guess was correct. Afterward, the roles reverse and the boys guess about the girls. The team with the most correct answers wins.
Sarah goes first, picking up her card.
“‘This boy’s first time happened in the back of his dad’s van.’” She reads out loud. “Hope dad wasn’t there.” She adds smirking as the girls laugh and exchange guesses, while Sarah studies the boys. Her eyes land on John B, who’s nervously scratching the back of his neck.
“You! You look guilty!” She declares, pointing at him. Laughing, John B takes her hand and they step to the center. Sarah cups his face and pulls him into a soft kiss. John B’s hands settle on her waist, letting her take the lead as the kiss deepens. The other girls cheer excitedly. When they break apart, both are flushed and Sarah playfully pushes John B toward the metal detector. He steps through and it blinks green. She guessed correctly.
“And no, my dad wasn’t there.” John B jokes. “But thanks for that mental image I’ll never unsee.” The group bursts into laughter and Sarah sends him a cheeky wink before returning to the girls.
The game continues until it’s Kiara’s turn. She steps forward, grabs a card and reads it aloud.
“‘This boy drunk-dialed a celebrity and hooked up with her.’” Gasps fill the room.
“What? That’s insane!” Kiara exclaims, scanning the boys’ faces for clues. After a moment, she points to Rafe. “You seem like the type to drunk-dial someone.” She drags him to the middle and they share a brief, soft kiss. He steps through the detector, but it flashes red. As everyone murmurs, JJ steps forward, grinning.
“Yeah, that was me.” He admits.
“What? Spill the details!” Maddy presses and JJ scratches the back of his neck, chuckling.
“There was this woman, an actress, can’t name her, obviously, who was taking surfing lessons from me. One night, I got totally wasted, called her and well…we ended up on my boat.” The room erupts in shock, the boys teasing him for more details, but JJ keeps the name to himself, basking in the attention.
Finally, it’s Y/N’s turn. She steps forward, picks up a card and reads.
“‘This boy accidentally sent a dirty picture to a colleague.’” She gulps and laughs nervously. “Oh no, that’s…unfortunate.”
After a moment of deliberation, she points to Rafe.
“I’m going with you.” She says, unsure but willing to take the chance. Rafe’s breath catches as Y/N takes his hand and pulls him to the center. Their eyes meet, lingering, before she stands on her tiptoes to kiss him. The kiss is soft but charged, with an unspoken intensity that sets it apart. Rafe’s hands settle on her waist, pulling her closer.
When they finally part, Rafe takes a moment to collect himself before stepping under the detector. It blinks green. Y/N grins as the girls cheer, but her gaze stays locked on his.
“What kind of dirty picture?” She asks, raising a curious brow and Rafe smirks.
“You know the kind.” His teasing tone earns a round of laughter and screams from the group, while Y/N fights a blush, unable to look away from him.
Now it’s the guys’ turn. JJ steps up first, grabbing a card and reading it aloud.
“‘This girl has had a threesome with her best friend and her boyfriend.’” He pauses dramatically, then smirks. “Oh, spicy!” His eyes sweep over the girls before he steps in front of Y/N, extending his hand.
“Come on, sweets.” He says with a playful grin. Y/N hesitates for a moment but takes his hand, letting him lead her to the center. Rafe watches, trying to keep his expression neutral as JJ cups Y/N’s face and pulls her in for a messy, passionate kiss. Despite himself, Rafe’s jaw tightens and he looks away briefly. When the kiss ends, Y/N wipes her lips with a small smile and steps under the detector, which flashes red. As the islanders try to figure out who it was, Kiara steps forward, rolling her eyes.
“Okay, fine! It was one time and I’m not even friends with her anymore.” She admits.
“Did the threesome have anything to do with that?” Maddy teases, raising an eyebrow.
“What? No! She was just a two-faced bitch.” Kiara shoots back, making everyone laugh. Y/N chuckles softly as she takes her spot again.
Finally, it’s Rafe’s turn. He picks up a card and reads it, a sly smile spreading across his face.
“‘This girl had a sex dream about a superhero.’” He glances at the girls, his gaze landing on Y/N, who suddenly seems very interested in her nails. Rafe chuckles.
“Come on, Y/N.”
She looks up, cheeks flushing and takes his outstretched hand. He leads her to the middle, his hand settling on her waist. Tilting her chin up with his finger, he leans in for a kiss. It starts soft, almost tentative, but quickly deepens as he pulls her closer. Her arms wrap around his shoulders and Rafe, unable to resist, lifts her off the ground, continuing the kiss until he gently sets her back down.
When they finally pull away, both of them are breathless, laughing quietly as Y/N steps under the detector, which flashes green. Rafe’s smirk widens as Topper chimes in.
“Care to tell us which superhero it was?” He asks and everyone starts begging her to spill and Y/N groans, her face burning.
“It was…Captain America.” She reveals as the girls nod knowingly, while the guys gape in shock.
“I had a Marvel phase, okay? And…I’m sorry if Chris Evans ever hears about this.” She adds, making everyone laugh.
With the game wrapped up, the girls victorious, the islanders head back to the villa, the tension between Y/N and Rafe lingering in the air.
The girls head straight upstairs to the makeup room to get ready for the night.
“So… Captain America?” Maddy teases as she works on her hair. Y/N rolls her eyes, sifting through the racks of outfits.
“Don’t even start.” She warns, though her lips twitch with a smile.
“I don’t blame you.” Sarah chimes in, applying lip gloss.
“He’s hot!” Cleo agrees enthusiastically.
The girls laugh and chat as they get ready, rehashing the challenge and the scandalous truths that were revealed. By the time they head downstairs, they’re glammed up and dressed to impress.
The boys, also cleaned up in their best outfits, let out whistles and cheers as the girls enter the bedroom. Rafe can’t take his eyes off Y/N, especially the short dress that hugs her in all the right places. She moves through the corridor toward him, but her heel catches and she stumbles. Rafe reacts instantly, grabbing her waist to steady her. Her hands press against his chest as she regains her balance.
“You okay?” He asks, his voice low and concerned.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” She murmurs, meeting his gaze briefly before standing upright. His hands linger on her waist, reluctant to let go.
“Aw, looks like you’ve got your own superhero!” Maddy teases as she walks by, grinning. Y/N chuckles softly, stepping back and rolling her eyes.
“Thanks again.” She says before following Maddy and the other girls. Rafe stays rooted to the spot, watching her walk away. Topper claps him on the back.
“Dude, you’re staring again. Chill.”
“Fuck.” Rafe blinks, muttering under his breath, before he trails behind the group as they head to the kitchen.
Later, Y/N, Maddy and Sarah lounge on the daybed with JJ and John B. The vibe is relaxed, laughter flowing easily among them. Rafe approaches, his hands in his pockets.
“Mind if I join?” He asks. The guys scoot over to make space, but his eyes are fixed on Y/N.
“Of course.” She says with a small smile, shifting slightly to make room.
“You having a good time?” She asks, taking a sip of water from her bottle.
“Yeah. It’s good. All good.” Rafe replies, his voice a bit strained.
The conversation resumes, light and playful, but Rafe seems distracted. Finally, he clears his throat, his expression unusually serious.
“I’m sorry, but I have to bring this up.” He says, breaking into the chatter. Everyone looks at him curiously.
“What are you talking about?” Maddy asks. Rafe glances at Y/N, his lips twitching into a smirk.
“Captain America? Really?”
The group erupts into laughter as Y/N groans, hiding her face in her hands.
“You’re never letting this go, are you?” She asks, her voice muffled.
“Never.” Sarah chimes in, wrapping an arm around Y/N. “This is too good.” Y/N sighs dramatically.
“Fine. Yes, I had a Marvel phase. And yes, Chris Evans is ridiculously hot. So is Steve Rogers. And yes, I’d happily let him save me from a burning building and then kiss me and…is that so bad?”
Everyone laughs, but before Y/N can join in, she notices movement in the distance. A figure appears, walking down the villa’s flower-adorned corridor, the click of heels echoing against the floor.
“Where’s my warm welcome?” A sultry voice calls out. All heads turn and Y/N’s eyes widen in shock.
“Shit.” She mutters under her breath. A hot new bombshell just entered the villa.
to be continued…
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A/N: this was long and i hope you enjoyed it, i have so much planned for this series and i am so excited and so happy you all have shown it so much love already!! likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated!! 🩵
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reiderwriter · 6 months ago
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I'm Your Fluffer!
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x female reader (best friends to lovers)
For @imagining-in-the-margins FWB Challenge!
Prompt: "I'm your boyfriend without the benefits." "Do you want the benefits?" "Yes- No... I'm your fluffer!" (Inspired by New Girl) (yes, I suggested this prompt, bo idc if that's cheating)
Warnings: Mentions of BDSM, unprotected vaginal sex, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, choking, mentions of spanking, and butt worship, slight Dom Spencer, bratty reader, creampie. The classics, yk.
A/N: I'm back!!!! I took a break because I couldn't bring myself to even look at a word document for about a month, but there's nothing like a Pom challenge to get me writing again! I did have a lot planned for my 1 year anniversary, but because I was sick, and then busy, and then work got hectic, I had to put it off. I still am going to try to finish my kink bingo Carr, though, even though its a month late, but I had two fics left iirc, and I have both of them plotted, so I may as well! I will, however, be abandoning the final epilogue of I Can't Help Myself, because I wrote myself into a depressed corner with that one, and honestly, some people were getting very pushy about it, and it wasn't fun anymore. Anyway! This one was fun to write, so I'm going to stick to one shots for the foreseeable future, or incredibly limited series.
Masterlist
Spencer was your friend. A good friend. Your best friend, perhaps. A really good, very best friend.
Obviously, you were good friends because he always knew when you were feeling down. He bought you flowers regularly when he passed by flower shops. He came over to your place and helped you build every piece of flatpack furniture you had, which, as a single woman in your mid-twenties, was every piece of furniture that you owned.
You really looked forward to the movie nights the two of you had weekly. The popcorn, the blankets, the cuddling, his lips by your ear, in-time translating the foreign movies word for word as you watched it, the shivers down your spine as you pressed further into the heat of him.
Spencer was the best best friend you could ask for.
He was also the most frustrated.
“Kid, what are you doing this weekend? I'm thinking of hitting some clubs, you know, getting my groove on, maybe meeting A few ladies,” Morgan smirked, rubbing his hands together as he gently moved side to side, already dancing to himself as he anticipated his big weekend out. “You in, or are you in?”
“I can't. I promised Y/N I'd help her with some document digitalisation. We're going to order pizza and watch Star Trek while backing up her entire paper trail.”
The smile on Spencer's face was so stupid that Morgan had to stop himself from wiping it off of him immediately.
“Man, you are so down bad for that girl,” he mused, shaking his head.
“What? Down bad?”
“You like her. It's okay to admit it.”
“We're friends. I'm happy being friends,” Spencer said, picking up his bag and walking to the elevator desperate to escape a repeat of a conversation he'd already had three times that week.
“You know everyone thinks you're dating.”
“Well aware. Despite the number of times we've both stated to the contrary, people don't seem to accept ‘we're just friends’ when they hear it.”
“That may be because you're doing things that just friends don't do.”
“Everything we do is totally platonic.”
“You buy her flowers-
“I buy my mother flowers,” Spencer said, turning on the man and raising his hands in exasperation.
“You know that's different. Do you buy Emily flowers?”
Silence.
“What about JJ?”
“I bought JJ flowers!” He grinned triumphantly until the other man spoke again.
“When she was in the hospital. Giving birth. Okay, what about the movie nights?”
Rolling his eyes, the younger man walked on, pressing the bell for the elevator and allowing his friend to keep bothering him.
“Friends watch movies together, Morgan. We've watched movies together, are we dating?”
“One, you are not my type, pretty boy, and two, you didn't exactly have your dick pressed against my ass the entire time we watched a film now, did you?”
“Be q- be quiet. I don't have my dick against her ass ever.”
“Oh, I'm sorry, was it pressed against her stomach instead? I know she likes to lie on top of-”
“Derek!”
The elevator arrived, and the two quickly jumped in, to Spencer's relief.
“All I'm saying, kid, is-”
“Hold the elevator!” You shouted, running to it quickly with Penelope Garcia on your heels.
“Thanks, Spence!” You said, smiling at him as you entered the small space.
And continued your not too unsimilar conversation with Penelope.
“So, as I was saying Penelope,” you shot her a look that told her you were finished with the conversation. You were not dating Spencer Reid, and you were unlikely to in the future because of his total and complete lack of interest in you.
“You can set me up this weekend, right? It's been an age since I've been on a date, and I would really like to-” you glanced around the elevator and whispered the end of your sentence, suddenly mindful of your company. “You know.”
“If you're absolutely sure, I have a few men in mind that could throw you about, but-”
You squealed and squeezed the woman as the elevator landed on your floor and jumped out of the elevator quickly, cheeks burning.
“Thanks, Pen, you're the best!”
“Y/N, wait,” Spencer called out behind you, desperately holding the elevator open for a few more seconds.
“I thought we were doing your papers this weekend? Star trek, pizza, remember?”
You stared guiltily at the floor as you forced your voice to sound as casual as possible, not sure you could make any excuse that didn't sound pathetic.
“Oh, sorry, Spencer. I totally forgot. We can rain check, right? I… I really need this.”
Spencer was aware of what disappointment felt like, but it never hollowed out his chest like your lack of eye contact in that moment did.
“Yeah. Sure, of course. We can do that whenever.”
“Yeah. Thanks, Spencer. You're the best… friend.”
He smiled and let the door finally shut, aware of the two sets of eyes now watching him.
It took a surprisingly long time for the ‘I told you so’ to come, but come it did, as if Morgan were unable to help himself.
“You're telling me that you're not into her at all?”
“I'm…not into her like that at all.”
“And you're fine with me setting her up on a date with a man that'll do somewhat empowering, somewhat disgusting things with her?” Penelope piled on.
“What? That's…that's not my business,” he ground out.
“No. Of course it’s not. Because you're not her boyfriend.”
“Exactly, I'm not her boyfriend-”
“You're her fluffer.”
With a pat on the shoulder, the elevator hit its last stop, and Morgan exited, leaving Spencer scrambling after him as Penelope waved the two of them off.
“What? No, what's a fluffer?”
Morgan chuckled and waved him off, walking to his car.
“Come on, what's a fluffer, and why am I hers?”
“You've seen porn before, right?” The older man asked, pausing as he opened his driver side door. “Actually don't answer that. The fluffer is the person who keeps the actors and actresses… ready between takes. Prepares them for the good stuff.”
With a bright flush across his cheeks, Spencer tried his best for an indignant look, landing somewhat closer to a petulant child.
“I am not her fluffer. We have never-”
“I know you've never. If you had, we wouldn't be standing here right now having this conversation. What I'm saying is you should.”
“We're friends!”
Climbing into the car and closing the door, Morgan dismissed the younger man quickly, but he wasn't finished.
Knocking on the door, Spencer waiting a beat, then two for it to open again.
“I'm not her fluffer.”
“You build her furniture and cuddle with her. You're doing everything a boyfriend would do, without any of the boyfriend rewards.”
“What rewards?” he gasped, exasperated.
A single look was all the reply he got before Morgan out his keys into the ignition and started driving.
Spencer never made the decision to turn up at your house later that night. He just found himself all of a sudden at your front door on a Friday night, pulling out the key from the plant pot by the front door and letting himself in. Unlocking his shoes, he called out through the apartment, letting you know he was there as he slipped into the house shoes you'd bought him after the first of many movie nights.
“Spencer? We cancelled earlier, remember?” you said emerging from your bedroom, fitted in the tightest dress he'd ever seen you in. He already had no answer for your question, but seeing you like that, getting ready, he had no answer to any question at all. If you'd have asked him his name, he wouldn't have known it.
Well, he would've, but only because you'd said it only three seconds ago and had reminded him that he was, in fact, standing in your apartment when he should've been literally anywhere else.
“Um. I'm…I'm just-” he scratched the back of his neck, waiting for something to come to him.
“Spencer, I'm leaving in like an hour, so there's no time to watch a movie, and I have to get ready, so-”
“I'm… I'm angry?”
You raised an eyebrow at his questioning tone, unsure where this conversation was going.
“You sure about that?”
“Yeah..yes. I'm sure. I'm angry. We, we had plans, and you gave me like an hours notice and cancelled them to go do something stupid-”
“Spencer! I'm going on a date. That's not stupid.”
“It is when you have me!”
He half shouted, half murmured the words, as if he himself were unsure of how confident he was in making that statement.
“That came out wrong-”
“Yeah, I think it did.”
“What I mean is- I mean…Morgan said that-”
You crossed your arms and sat yourself on the arm of your sofa, looking forward at him and waiting for him to get through whatever this was. You hoped the entire time that he was saying what you'd wanted him to say for the last year and a half.
“Have you ever watched porn?”
Not what you were hoping for, but a start, at least.
“Spencer!”
“That came out wrong, I- don't throw the couch cushions at me. I have a point, I swear!”
You lowered your next projectile and gestured for him to go on, not fully relinquishing it just yet.
“I'm your fluffer! I get you…in the mood for dates, and- and- I do all the boyfriend stuff without any of the boyfriend benefits!”
He stood in front of you, red-faced, and you stared him down a second or two as you collected your thoughts.
“Do you…want the boyfriend benefits?”
“Yes! No, wait - wait a second. I- I- What are the boyfriend benefits exactly?”
You threw the pillow down and turned your back on him, not entirely sure what you were expecting from the most oblivious genius on the planet.
“Y/N, wait. Wait-”
With a hand wrapped around your wrist, Spencer spun you around, and, tripping over your feet, you landed hard on your sofa. Your fall should've been relatively pain-free, but for the 6-foot man that landed directly on top of you.
“Get up.”
“What are the boyfriend benefits?”
“You should know if you're saying you want them! Now, get up!”
“Not until you tell me.”
“Spencer!”
“Y/N!”
You groaned and writhed under him, but he just dropped his weight onto you, unmoving, hands pinning your wrists lazily, leg poking between your two, hips pinning yours.
It certainly wasn't the closest you'd ever been, but in those circumstances, during that conversation, you felt more flustered than you had before.
“What are the benefits.”
“You really want me to say? You're not afraid it's going to throw off our friendship, ruin whatever good thing we have going?”
“I think that if you go out tonight, and enjoy your date, and get a boyfriend, that he's going to feel weird about this good thing we have going and it's going to be over anyway. Tell me.”
You desperately searched for a way out of this situation, but a stronger part of you wanted to simply wrap your legs around him and let him take as much advantage as he could.
You settled for disturbing him.
“Fine. A boyfriend would be able to spank me.”
“Y/N, be serious.”
“I am. I like it. A boyfriend would pull my hair back and make me count as he hit my cute round ass until it turned all red, and I couldn't sit down comfortably anymore. A boyfriend would then kiss it better.”
You'd never spoken about sex with Spencer, and you hoped the vulgarity would force him back to his senses. Instead, he didn't stir, and you had no choice but to continue.
“Another boyfriend benefit would be choking me. I like that, too. Are your hands big enough to wrap around my throat, Spencer?”
“Yes.”
The answer came so quickly and do confidently, you weren't sure you actually heard it outlook until he spoke again.
“What other benefits, Y/N?”
“A… boyfriend would get to cum inside me,” you whispered, suddenly aware of hips rocking into yours slowly as his cock poked up, listening intently to the promises spilling from your lips that you likely should've regretted.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I want the benefits.”
Your body was hot everywhere he touched you, but he didn't move, didn't follow through on anything just yet. But you were aware of his head moving closer and closer to yours and panicked.
“And what have you done? As my fluffer? To deserve those benefits?”
“What have I done?” He asked, pulling back an inch. Even as his chest rested, flush against yours, your breasts pushed up against him as his hands held yours over your head.
“I-I bought you flowers-”
“Emily buys me flowers, too. So does Penelope. Should I let them be my boyfriend?”
With your hands in use, you took advantage of his distraction and wrapped your legs up and around his waist, rolling your hips up into him.
“I suppose I do like flowers, though. What else?”
“I… We're always t-together?”
“We work together.”
Using the leverage of his weight against yours, you rolled up harder into his hips, grinding into him slowly as you watched his resolve melt away.
“The m-movie nights are-”
“The movie nights where you rut your cock into me while we watch a movie? Friends do that all the time. You're just translating the movie for me after all.”
“Y/N, please don't-”
“Don't say that? Okay. I'll just let someone else hump against my thighs to get off because you're too proud to admit you want to sink your dick into me and pound me?”
“Y/N-”
“Maybe that's why you don't have the boyfriend privileges, Spencer. Because I'm waiting for something, you're too much of a prude to try-”
His lips meet yours before you can finish the thought, and you're not sure whether it's a triumph or a defeat.
After precisely five seconds of his lips on yours, though, you no longer cared.
Releasing your hands gently, he lifted his hips an inch, distracting you enough to force his tongue into your mouth as his hand found its way between your legs.
“Did you really mean it?” He asked between kisses as you rake your hands through his hair, getting lost in him. “About the benefits?”
You allowed yourself to imagine it for a second, Spencer's hands on your throat. His hands on your ass. His mouth buried between your legs.
You moaned into his kiss, and he laughed - actually laughed - as he pulled away.
“Spencer!”
“No, no, please, don't let me keep you from your thoughts, I'll just be down here.”
His fingers reached your clit and he wasn't surprised to find you already wet, legs spread. Snaking another hand to your neck though, he wasn't exactly as opposed to the ideas you'd flung at him as he'd acted.
You gasped as his hand closed around your neck, the prettiest necklace you'd ever worn. You grabbed a hold of his hands as he pulled your underwear off, pushing them down your legs as he gently pushed your legs open wider and replaced his fingers with his tongue.
You curled up on yourself, craving your body to watch him devour your pussy as you tried your best to keep your breaths shallow, to keep breathing entirely as he squeezed your throat.
His tongue licked and flattened, his head bobbing up and down and then stilling as your hips began moving by themselves, letting you ride his face as you moaned and whined and desperately ran towards your climax.
You wrapped a leg around his shoulder, pressing down on his back to keep him in position, grabbing a handful of hair as you jerked against his face, fucking it as he looked up at you through hooded eyes, drinking down every drop of you.
His hold on your neck tightened, and you felt your body shudder as you squeaked out his name, not wanting this to end so soon, needing to feel more of this. He let you ride it out until you were whining in frustration again, hips twitching from the friction of his tongue against your cunt.
Then he pushed away.
He wasn't gone long, but you followed him up. You thought about pushing him down to the couch again, thought about sitting on his pretty boy face and doing it all over again. You thought of turning over and presenting your ass to him, letting him punish you like you'd promised. Your thoughts ceased as quickly as they came when he pulled his cock free of his pants, not even bothering to pull them off fully before pulling you into his lap, lining himself up, and pushing you down onto his hot, hard, lengthy cock.
You swear you would've screamed if his to guess hadn't already claimed your mouth. A good scream. A “holy shit holy shit holy shit” scream. Definitely a “I didn't know it was that big, and honestly I'm a little scared” scream. But overall, a “god that feels so good” scream.
From the lack of movement, you were sure that Spencer was giving you a moment to adjust to his intrusion, and you were thankful as you clung to his neck, hands balling in the material of his shirt on his back.
Although he was bigger than expected, he wasn't uncomfortably large, and you calmed quickly, giving him a quick nod as you buried yourself in his neck, hiding your face to stop yourself from drooling, mouth wide as he tipped you back against the couch pillows, lifting your legs slightly and slipping his hands underneath yous thighs, and began his steady pace of thrusts.
You were sure your world was imploding on itself, that all your senses had ceased except that of touch, and his touch was fire. But you heard the wet, slutty sounds of your pussy welcoming him, you smelt the sweat against his skin, and, opening your eyes, you saw the absolute pleasure blasted against his features as he groaned in your ear.
And before you could form another coherent thought, he'd claimed another boyfriend benefit, as, rocking his hips against yours, he slowed to a stutter as he emptied himself inside you.
“Spencer!!” you moaned, but he wasn't done, spitting on his fingers and finding your clit again as you squealed, twitching and turning and milling his cock with your movements as you found your second release.
You moaned his name again, though it sounded less like his name this time, and more like a definite noise complaint from your neighbours in the morning.
“Spencer?” you asked, still trying to regain your breath as he, once again, collapsed on top of you.
“Mhmm,” he said, slowly pulling out of you, watching the mess you'd made together drip out too, and resisting the urge to push right back into you and go again.
“Was that a friendly fuck, or a boyfriend fuck?”
His eyes snapped to yours again as you continued.
“I just want to give Penelope the correct reason for cancelling on her friend when I text her-”
“I came inside you.”
“So you did.”
“Y/N!”
“.... So that wasn't a fluffer thing, but a boyfriend thing, got i-”
With a kiss, he shut you up again, and you realized quickly that you probably wouldn't have the time to send that text anyway.
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crushedsweets · 4 days ago
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CREEPED VISUAL NOVEL Link, tutorial, extra art, Q&A, some chatter
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The CREEPED Prologue is completely free and browser-ready. Gameplay is about 10 minutes. Please read the "tutorial" and notes before playing!
Follow Y/N and their dog, Max, through their grandparents' farm and a mysterious forest filled with...less than fortunate people!
PLAY HERE; works best on PC
This visual novel is powered by GOOGLE SLIDES! It has 0 programming and was created by one person in a little over a month, so please bear with any "bugs" and clunkiness!
TUTORIAL
>Click using mouse/trackpad >Go slowly to not break game >Do not use arrow or space keys
EXTRA NOTES:
>Works best on PC/Browser, I haven't tested the full game on mobile yet >In general, clicking the PNGs on the textbox (Apple, Teddy Bear, Hatchet, etc) will lead you to the right page >If you land on a page that tells you to "go back," that's when you should click the back-arrow key. If your cursor disappears, it doesn't register the click correctly >I recommend moving your cursor periodically to avoid it disappearing and sending you to the wrong page
EXTRA ART
some WIPS and the original sprite-style i was gonna choose LOOOOOOOL
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Q&A
Q: Is this an x reader? A: This is a reader-insert, but it's not romantic and I try to keep it as neutral and unidentifiable as possible! Q: What's the plot? A: GENERALLY AND WITHOUT SPOILERS, your dog gets you into trouble and you're just looking to help him!
Q: Who is in the prologue? A: Tim, Brian, Toby, and Kate! More will be added in future chapters.
Q: When will future chapters be posted? A: Not sure! This took me about a month to do, and half was spent over winter break. I will try to get chapter 1 posted before summer, but I am a full-time student, employed, have extracurriculars, etc etc
ok thats all i only remember 4 questions feel free to ask more LMAO
CHATTER(because you know i can talk forever)
ok i just wanted to be able to talk about how the process was with this and how i feel about the results and whatnot...
ive been wanting to make a google slides visual novel since i was like 13 LOL it hit the point where i was repeatedly told i should just learn to code but i was like NOOOOO ITS GOTTA BE GOOGLE SLIDESSSS which is totally stupid but hey. i think that gives it some sort of simple charm that reminds me of being 16 and doing little projects in my room LOL i like working with the easiest tools . my bad
anyway. im just very happy LOL. it's not perfect but i feel like i came full circle in a sense?!?! i've been into creepypasta since i was 9 and it comforted me when things were really hard, and when i was 18 i was going through a really hard time and got back into creepypasta as a way to distract myself. i've always had a habit of throwing myself into fiction for escapism when things suuucked.
i'm 20 now but i've met SO many amazing people, had so many fun awesome exciting projects with friends, created tons of stuff im proud of, felt more motivated to create since i was like 13, have been inspired by so many amazing artists/authors on here, etc. just so so so lucky to find community in such a tight-knit cute fandom that thrives off of creativity and playing around! i hope i can keep the momentum and make a couple more chapters this year, but im kinda busy with school and work...LOL . i'm just excited to have this posted so i can have more discussion about it T_T
anyway thank you if you read this far and thank you if you played etc etc yaahhhhhh omg ok BYE THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING im just so grateful to be in this fandom
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dreamiie4her · 5 months ago
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if 1 + 1 = 2, why are you overcomplicating the loa?
@𝓭𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝔂𝓹𝓲𝓷𝓰…
Once upon a time, I was writing down notes in my lesson, while we were learning about holism (viewing things as a whole) & reductionism (breaking down phenomenon to its most simplest form), and i lowkey had a ‘EUREKA!’ moment.
Now you may be asking, why on earth am i giving a storytime when this is supposed to be an informative loa post, well grab a hot cocoa because imma give u a nice reminder about the law of assumption & shifting, if u feel like you’ve just overconsumed alot of posts & overcomplicated it.
Instead of viewing manifestation/shifting as a ‘whole’ (methods, techniques & all that other unnecessary stuff) ,u gotta simply break it down to,
1. pick what u want
2. persist in that assumption (affirming)
thats basically it! stop overcomplicating manifesting/shifting to all these methods, etc.
lemme scream that for the crowd in the back
STOP‼️OVERCOMPLICATING‼️SHIFTING/MANIFESTING‼️
& that also means, stop contributing to factors that lead to this overcomplicating. I’m talking about overconsuming content because trust me, all you need is picking & persisting & thats basically it.
Once you realise, shifting/manifesting is as easy as pick what u want & persist, life will become 100% easier 😚
urs truly, @dolliecoded
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arolesbianism · 2 years ago
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Ok hi. I swear I'm gonna become more active eventually, but rn I'm just like rly artblocked and unmotivated to post in general so just like. Consider me on a semi hiatus for a while longer ig. I am working on things and I do have smth big in the works but for now y'all will just have to deal with the occasional au ramble and maybe a headshot or two
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tellafairy · 5 months ago
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thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)
coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many of you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.
your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..
the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.
it took me barely any time to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.
really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.
1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.
ex: "i really want her waist"
to
"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"
exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.
2. it's yours, so act like it..
ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..
you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...
3. that's literally it
you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.
it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.
as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.
so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....
once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.
yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads
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