#it's not even a coincidence anymore cause it happened too many times

[nocturnal-birb]

It's actually because of your prime mover hcs that I decided to make mine for my two blorbos as well! (let's be honest, it's super difficult to pick just one Papa - they're all so irresistible.. if I could, I would be the prime mover of all of them, but I gotta stick with my two true loves)

I can't wait to see your prime mover design!!! 🥺💚 maybe I can draw them both together 😈

So true on that ghestie 😩 I won't lie- I was even considering like making mine fuck all four Papas (cause I'm that much of a whore theoretically) but that's a bit greedy(?) so I just went with the first two blorbos I can sink my teeth on

But yes, I'm so with you about that- I'd be a prime mover to all of them if given a chance

Trust me when I say I've been trying to draw my prime mover design but it's just as intricate as Copia so it's a pain 💀✌️ but one day I'll draw it all and yes, I'd like to see prime movers just vibing

[seirei-bh]

My opinion and theories about Jason's route ep 4

This post focuses only on Jason's part of the episode, I'll be playing Amanda and Thomas' routes in a few days, so I'll save my thoughts about their images, moments and dialogue in detail for later. And I'll do also other post about general curiosities facts of the ep, but I prefer to wait a few days for that.

BIG SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT, you're warned!

Well, first of all: if you are Devon, Amanda, Thomas or Roy, you are in luck, this is your chapter! But if you're the Jason route, you might be disappointed (it wasn't like that in my case, but I've seen a lot of people disappointed for understandable reasons, I'll leave my opinion below)

A summarize about Jason's moment:

-We met him in the cafeteria by coincidence, but he didn't see us yet.

-Thomas says he secretly follows Jason on his Instagram account.

-Elenda hints that maybe Jason has a crush on Ysaline. While Brune is worried because she thinks maybe Jason is trying to "hunt" Ysaline.

-Then Thomas and Devon start speculating about Jason's relationships. They insinuate that he must be a womanizer and someone who see people as prizes to be won because he is with different several women in photos and it doesn't seem like his relationships last long.

-HOWEVER, Jason suddenly appears because he has heard the conversation. He seems to feel offended, he hints that he feels disappointed by the others' attitude. Jason also says that regarding his private life and romantic relationships "there are reasons why I prefer not to commit long term" but that it's none of their business. And then he leaves.

Okay. Let's theorize here!

Apparently, and in the opinion of Thomas, Devon, and most of our peers, Jason is a womanizer. But the fact that he says very seriously that there is another reason behind why he only has short relationships and not long ones, I have a few theories about it, and yes, I think it will be a bigger issue than it may seem.

-A while ago I did a headcanons post about Jason in which among his headcanons, I got right the fact that he has only had brief relationships so far, and there are some possibilities that I mentioned there that could be that reason behind all this :

1- He simply doesn't have time for long relationships. This man is married to his job, and perhaps most of the partners he had didn't understand that, and he doesn't give his 100% in relationships either because he thinks they're not worth it and are a waste of time.

2- Since he is a rich, handsome and powerful man, he either believes that he has a perfect image to maintain and he fears that any woman could discover some weakness to use against him, so he prefers to end the relationship before it becomes serious. If this is the reason, he may have had a serious relationship in the past that caused him some emotional damage too, which made him more cautious later (which could be something he had in common with Ysaline) and/or too many relationships with women who only dated with him for supercial reasons so he feels he can't trust in love anymore. And maybe even his family pressures him to keep a perfect image too.

3- And this is my favorite theory, as I speculated in his headcanons post: his poliosis was a consequence of a Waardenburg syndrome. A syndrome that also can cause him to suffer from partial deafness and even vision problems. And for this reason, perhaps he doesn't want or thinks that he should never have children, so he prefers not to have long relationships, so that no woman can find out this fact and become disappointed with the issue of not being able to have children with him in the future, other than that it would be for him to admit a weakness that could cause him to be fired from his job (I have a family member who lost his job because he turned partially blind from a hereditary disease, so yeah these kind of things can happen). And for a man like Jason, who values ​​his job so much, losing him for something like that could be a big blow for him. Also, on a plot level it would be an interesting plot twist for his character, in my opinion.

Now let's get to another tricky part of the episode.

-After Jason leaves, Devon explains to us that the reason for his enmity with him was that, a while ago, they both entered a contest, and apparently, Jason copied the work that Devon did, that's why Roy calls him in the ep 2 liar and thief.

-However, there is something in this whole story that doesn't add up: Jason presented his project days after Devon, and that caused Jason was fired and lost the city council's own confidence. And when Devon asked him for an explanation for the plagiarism, Jason blamed Devon. So… what really happened??

-We lack information here. I think we won't know the full truth until Jason tells us his pov in all of this.

-If Jason had plagiarized and stolen from him on purpose, then he should have submit his project before Devon. It would have been the logical step to avoid being harmed. There's also the possibility that Jason just had a BIG coincidence of ideas similars to Devon's, but Jason wouldn't be so offended or attack Devon so much if it was just his own fault…

-I have a theory that there is a third person involved in this story.

-Perhaps that third person was one of Jason's colleagues, or one of his private investors, or perhaps someone from the city council or a person from another company who was a fake friend of Jason's and wanted to secretly harm him. I think that person found out about what Devon was going to do, and that person gave that idea to Jason without telling him that it was Devon's idea, like "hey, I've this idea, let's share it for this project" and then when it was shows it belonged to Devon, that third person told Jason that it was Devon the one who had stolen the idea from them. That person twisted the story.

-Now, the biggest disappointment of the ep if you're Jason's route: you only talk to him for a minute.

-Yeah, it was disappointing to spend so little time with him after waiting a whole month. Although I still enjoyed his moment because of the theories it made me think about it and I still think his route worths it. Besides, If I had enough patience in the past to deal with Leiftan's very very VERY brief moments in the first eps of Eldarya, then I can also deal with Jason's route being frustrating that way XD That's what you got when you're playing the secret route: your're going to suffer always in th firsts eps lmao.

-There is only a brief dialogue with all your companions in front and then you check out his Instagram. I really hope his part in the 5th episode is longer ToT

-His image it's the promotional image that we have already seen of him, but it doesn't surprise me, I already expected that image to be in an episode soon or later, he looks hot anyway, although I thought that the context would be more interesting, like seeing him in some important event instead of on Instagram.

-While Ysaline is looking his photos on Instagram, she thinks he seems to be "a big red flag" lol, although I'm not surprised after what her boss and colleages said about him, and because of this girl bad experience in the past (damn you, Ioan)

-This has made some players think that Jason is going to be a disappointing route, but personally I don't think so, not only because of the theories I have given, but because in UL I've been Castiel route and Nathaniel route, and both characters in the first eps they are very popular with women and you heard they had many short relationships of one night or a few days, and the beginning with both characters and Sucrette in UL is complicated… (Nath disappeared and got into trouble non-stop, We even find him flirting with a girl in chapter 3 in front of us, and Castiel, after spending the night with you, ignores you for an entire ep and says he doesn't want a relationship) but then in later chapters Castiel and Nath turned out to be WONDERFUL routes with sweet/beautiful moments and boys totally in love with Sucrette, faithful to her and who loved her deeply. So I think Jason might be a little similar to them in this case, with a very complicate start, but he'll be worth it in the end. And I'm into that shit, come on, the enemies to lovers drama!

-Oh and Ysaline gives the Jason's photo a "like" by mistake! XD So I guess Jason will mention this to us in a message or in the next ep. Hohohoh *evil smirk*

Conclusion: I can't say I totally loved it, but I'm not totally disappointed either. At least I'm glad we got a part of explanation about all Devon vs Jason's mess. I hope that in the next eps with his moments are longer (pls!)

[mychlapci]

i hope my unfinished ask didn't get sent...whoops

anyways, small dick megatron guy here to celebrate mermay

Megatron as a fat, mean shark that had to be put in captivity because his aggression was risking researchers in the rust sea. Even in his tank in the facility everyone is scared shitless of him

theres some sort of emergency and Starscream, a tiny flying fish, is seperated from his trine. He has to be cohabilitated though and the only avaliable tank is Megatron's

half of the researchers are expecting screamer to get ripped in half the second he's placed in there. What they dont expect is Starscream to immediately start bullying their giant scary shark (nipping at him, using his speed to steal meals, etc). Megs goes into heat by coincidence and Starscream reveals two absolutely massive spikes (combined theyre basically the width of his own tail).

he bullies Megatrons slit and reveals a pitifully tiny spike. all of the researchers present assume its an enlarged clit until they look closer.

Starscream gets to dick down a nice fat carrier and Megatron isnt a problem anymore because hes pinned down to the bottom of the tank and cant attack anyone anymore

YESSS oh lord. Big scary shark Megatron, a terror to everyone out on the open sea, restraining him cost lives. Researchers steer clear of his tank and the people who dump fish in there basically just hop in and out in under a minute, because Megatron is intelligent. He knows when someone is above his tank and he won’t hesitate to swipe at them.

Then you have a small Starscream, hissy, but manageable with enough rope and twine at hand. Megatron’s tank was the only one that wasn’t full to its capacity. Because it only contained that damn sea monster. It wasn’t a good idea, but if they’d put Starscream into a full tank, they’d be breaking regulations.

Megatron is not fond of Starscream at all. He’s clearly tried to rip him apart, and almost had caught Starscream while he was causing him trouble, but Starscream was still faster and more nimble than the big bulky shark. Megatron was getting more and more frustrated with him to the point where the staff was worried that he was getting too distressed for his own good, which is, honestly not what they expected to happen. Maybe he’d gotten so angry he sank straight into a heat. Maybe it really was a coincidence.

hrghh… Megatron with just a tiny little dicklet. It’s so small they’re worried Starscream had done something to irritate his anterior node but nope, Megatron’s spike is just so little, small enough that it would’ve fit into Starscream without any fuss… If Starscream was ever willing to take that excuse for a spike, which he is not. Starscream pounds him so hard that Megatron immediately melts. He’s happily clenching and squeezing around his fat spikes, slapping his tail against Starscream when he pulls out because he wants more.

Once he’s fat enough with so many babies, Megatron’s grounded and lounging around in his nest of coral and kelp most of the day, looking blissed out. Most of the violent behaviour he displays nowadays are his frustrations with not being mated with for longer than Starscream can last. I bet there's so many pups wriggling out of him when the time comes. He'll be flailing around, making pathetic attempts at swimming that Starscream entertains by wedging under him and "helping" him stay up.

the staff are baffled. They didn't know they had such an amazing breeder on their hands <3

[mycatishandsome]

AMA: My Experience as an Experienced “Shifter” and Where I am Today with it

So, I don’t ever talk about sifting anymore really, even to the friends I made through the sifting community, but I’ve weirdly been seeing a lot of sifting posts on my main and thought that it couldn’t be a coincidence- especially since I hadn’t been looking for the content. Tumblr is very specific about their algorithm I’ve found. That was weeks ago though, but for the first time today, I actually thought about shifting.

For a bit of context- I used to be a very popular shifttoker on TikTok years ago. Obviously im not anymore. I did it for about a year- met some great people, and some others not so much. It was exciting while it lasted, but i moved on after i started to notice all the drama, and genuinely got so annoyed so i left. Before shiftok, I was already very spiritual and using my time to consistently look into techniques especially regarding meditation, lucid dreaming, and astral projection. I never did figure out astral projection, but became what you could call a “master” of lucid dreaming. I was doing it every night, several times a night without waking up or causing problems! Then deeper into my research i found out about shifting.

It was much like lucid dreaming, or at least it followed my theories about dreams- that when we dream, we’re technically in another “state of existence” much like astral projection, where our consciousness is leaving the body. I couldn’t find much info on it honestly, and what info i did find either led back to TikTok, or to ancient spiritualities and religions, and I genuinely couldn’t decipher half the stuff i was reading from them. My mistake, was i went to TikTok instead of trying to understand anything else. TikTok, I genuinely believe, has done irreversible damage to what actual shifting is, and if you were anywhere near shiftok in 2019-2022ish, you know exactly what im talking about.

BUT that’s not what this post is about, I wanted to talk more about my experiences (just wanted to add my history :))

My first shift was actually not too long after i found out what shifting was, I can’t entirely recall the method i used- no its not one of the fancyshmancy ones we see all over YouTube. It was something more simple, like a genuinely simple meditation, and at this point i had gotten very good at meditating- shutting my mind off and feeling everything but nothing (if that makess sense). It was unlike anything i had experienced, ESPECIALLY lucid dreaming. It was really just a mirror image of this world, with some differences, so nothing crazy. It was after i had found shiftok that i decided to join in as a creator and share my experiences, as I was actively shifting.

This was another mistake, as i found it more difficult to shift after this, but again- this post isn’t about that.

I was actively shifting for about 2-3 years before I eventually stopped. Why did I stop? I started to see really negative results in my real life (cr as some call it). I had some real elaborate realities I would go to, some were planned to the most minuscule detail, others not as much. But i had a blast regardless, and genuinely learned so many new things. I stopped when I started to really look at my life here, which when i was a creator, i always would tell my followers to ground yourself here, to never look past what’s happening here. It’s easy to get lost in your many lives, but it’s not worth losing this one. I really should’ve followed my own advice though. In my life here, I was still in college, had just broken up with my boyfriend of a year, had some shit friends, and a job at a library (which was honestly the only good thing). My life was boring, and I was living out what i wanted, through shifting. Which isn’t entirely a bad thing, just not the best thing.

Once shiftok when to shit and i had left, I had kind of “healed” myself in a way and created a new relationship with shifting, i was shifting regularly again. It was also at this point that I started to come up with more theories about shifting other then the whole, “we’re tuning in to another consciousness”. I’m by all means not saying that isn’t what it is, but we don’t know for sure if it is, so i was just having fun, as a regular shifter and lucid dreamer, trying to figure out other explanations.

I havn’t shfited in god knows how long. I haven’t meditated either. And I sure as hell haven’t lucid dreamed. It sucks to kind of lose something that was such a huge part of your life, but for reasons that has made my life better. I now have a partner of 2 years, im back in school for my masters, and im generally happy with my life :). The first time i have thought about shifting, was this morning when i woke up. Something happened earlier this week that has caused me great stress (family related) and one of my thoughts were “man shifting somewhere else would be lovely” just this idea of not having to deal with anything really. This thought process isn’t healthy, and by no means should you shift to escape anything. If you choose to do this (let’s face it, lots of us have or will), just understand the consequences.

If anyone would like to hear any shifting stories, methods, or theories or just any questions, please ask! I may not shift anymore but i love talking about it :)

Thank you for reading :)

[twilightmalachite]

Yuuta Aoi - Little Bro Talk

Author: Yuumasu

Characters: Yuuta, Ritsu, Hiiro

Translator: Mika Enstars

"Myyy bad. Unlike Aniki, I don’t have many friends."

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Garden Terrace

Yuuta: (…Sigh. Eating alone at the garden terrace is so dull.)

(And I was having fun spending time with Shinobu-kun, too. But then he had to leave immediately to run an errand for the student council.)

(You dare take Shinobu-kun away from me, you damn Student Council~…)

Ritsu: Hmm, it’s one of the light music club twins.

Since your hairstyle’s different and you’re all alone, you must be Yuuta-kun.

Yuuta: You’re right, but please don’t recognize me in such an unpleasant way.

Myyy bad. Unlike Aniki, I don’t have many friends.

Ritsu: I’m not saying it's bad, am I? It’s not like a person’s worth is based on their amount of friends.

In the past, I used to not have anyone I could call a friend, after all.

Some people prefer broad and shallow relationships, while others prefer more narrow and deep ones.

Everyone’s different when it comes to relationships.

Well, no need for one person to occupy all four seats here~. Can I sit here with you?

Yuuta: Go for it~.

But, allow me to correct you on one thing. I wasn’t alone here from the start.

My bestie, Shinobu-kun, was with me. But he had to leave earlier to do something for the Student Council.

Ritsu: Oh, what a coincidence. My situation’s like yours too.

I was gonna eat with Maa~kun, but he dumped me for a student council meeting.

Dreaded Student Council~. I hope a meteorite hits the Student Council room.

Yuuta: Ahaha, that’s pretty extreme~. It’d be a catastrophe if a meteorite hit.

Ritsu: It’s fine~, I’m sure if there’s an emergency, Ecchan will do something with all his authority and financial resources.

And even if the world is destroyed, Maa~kun and I will survive through the power of love…♪

Anyhow, compared to last year's Setsubun Festival, you guys seem to have moved on?

It’s like I never see you along with Hinata-kun at school anymore.

Did you finally understand what I meant back then? Did you finally get sick of being compared to your older brother?

Are you trying to make a point that you’re different from your older brother, that you’re your own person, perhaps?

Yuuta: …

…Back then, I thought that our values were different. But now, I think I can understand what you were trying to say, Ritsu-senpai.

It’s almost like you knew this was going to happen…

Ritsu: Heheh. It’s because you haven’t lived a long life unlike me. ♪

Yuuta: You’re only two years older than I am…

Ritsu: It still doesn’t change the fact that I’m older, does it?

Anyways. I might not exactly dislike your change in character, Yuuta-kun.

Like I said before, the creature called the “older brother” has no value in living if the “younger brother” does not exist.

All you have to do is step back and treat them just well enough so that they do not die. For those like us, they are a constant nuisance that won’t leave us alone for the rest of our lives.

Hiiro: —Hello, Yuuta-kun, Ritsu-senpai! Can I sit with you?

Yuuta: Oh, Hiiro-kun. Go ahead.

Hiiro: Thank you! So what were you two talking about?

Ritsu: We’re talking about how younger brothers can bother their older brother all they want~

Yuuta: I’m sure you have it rough too, Hiiro-kun, having such a horrid big brother in your family.

You’ve been inconvenienced since the very start, haven’t you?

Hiiro: The start? Back at my hometown, It was me who was being an inconvenience.

Nii-san protected me ever since I was little. He loved me a lot.

I hope to return the favor, and all the love he gave to me. If possible, I’d like Nii-san to be an inconvenience to me, too.

Ritsu: You want to be caused trouble? Aren’t you a weird one.

Yuuta: I’m sure he’d give you plenty of trouble even if you don’t want it, wouldn’t he?

Hiiro: That’s not true. I still have a lot to learn, I’m not strong enough to support Nii-san.

Though… Nii-san did praise me once. That made me very happy.

I had gotten a phone call and had brought home Nii-san drunk, but… He told me I’ve been doing well lately.

I’m sure Nii-san’s forgotten all about it, though. But it’s one of my most cherished memories from my birthday.[1]

Yuuta: Ooh, so something like that happened?

Yuuta: …Wait, wha? He had you do things for him on your birthday?

He seriously is diabolical… I hope a meteorite would hit Rinne-senpai.

Hiiro: A meteorite, huh? Yuuta-kun, you often get to have exchanges with Nii-san, don’t you? I’m envious.

Yuuta: Is it really an exchange, I wonder~? We just end up having a lot of contact since we work at the same agency.

Hiiro: Still, it seems nice from my perspective.

I’d like to ask you about something, who gets along well with my Nii-san, Yuuta-kun.

Yuuta: We don’t get along, but what is it?

Hiiro: I’d like it if you could help me pick out a birthday present for Nii-san with me.

We’ve got a long time until my Nii-san’s birthday, but we weren’t able to celebrate last year. And this is the first time we’re celebrating it in the city, so I’d like to get him something special. Think you can help me out?

Yuuta: A birthday present, huh~…

Yuuta: (That’s kinda a hassle, though? As if I’d know what’d make Rinne-senpai happy. Why not just take him somewhere to gamble?)

(Though that’s just a joke—but Hiiro-kun’s got such a pure heart he’d take anything as genuine advice.)

(…Wait, hold on a sec. This might be my chance to legally (?) play a prank on Rinne-senpai! ♪)

Yuuta: …Hehe. ♪

Ritsu: Whoa. That’s a horrible face you’re making, Yuuta-kun~.

Yuuta: Oh come on, don’t say such bad things about other people.

I’ll help you out if you’d like, Hiiro-kun.

Hiiro: Thank you! It’ll be reassuring to have you, Yuuta-kun!

Yuuta: Yeah, yeah! Let’s take pleeeenty of time to pick out a gift he’ll remember for his entire life…♪

[ ☆ ]

story directory

A reference to the events in Rinne’s idol story, A Cup's Worth By Yourself, from this card.

[moonfurthetemmie]

"ok so THAT'S going to cause more problems than literally anything or anyone else ever"

so quick note: i have not consulted The Council(TM). i think Wheeze is busy, but they'll see it eventually and if they wanna chime in with their own ideas they will.

anyways here's the fucking disaster that im just going to call Supernova because that's what's going to be the end result if they catch feelings.

Delusion:

most emotionally constipated bitch of all time. very very intentionally. unfortunately slash is making him a little happy and he can feel it through the emotion-squishing he's doing and he's being a little crazy about it. at the same time though, she's so annoying. why.

he's god. he can do that. he doesn't want to. feel that way. about her. if he caved to his feelings though,,,,

God complex says "Why am I struggling with this? I shouldn't be struggling. I'm a god." Unfortunately God complex also goes "i'm a god and i deserve to get anything i ask for." he wouldn't be too weird about it, unless he really, really went off the deep end. which is plausible. especially if they somehow end up somewhere together with a magic suppressor and he realizes just how much he likes her that he could still feel it through his squished emotions and general feeling of Stoned Zen he's in almost all day every day

see god complex again. he can definitely bring her back right?? and who knows maybe she'll be grateful and things will be a little smoother. it's about as likely as me eating some weird new food that looks like a sensory hell, but yknow. maybe.

gestures at emotion squishing and his aura filling that void in. He's not really cold, though, he's just. a wall. a brick wall. bitch

surely it's nothing more than happenstance. This sort of thing happens sometimes. It's nothing to look too deep into. (but she hated him so much. and he hated her as much as he possibly could, without his aura hurting him. what if it wasn't a coincidence...? ...nah that's bullshit.) (he still occasionally questions it)

come hell or high water, he's going to create his perfect world. He just hopes she and her friends will realize that's he's right.

see first part of point 5

emotionally constipated bitch

there's so many cynical, logical, non-emotional reasons that this is a Bad Fucking Idea for him and his image. he won't let it happen again if he can help it.

i did say something about delusion's emotional state making him a good victim for yandere-fication, right?? because that's pretty much what this is past a certain point, and by then he's not even going to care if she knows anymore

see point 11

see point 11 again. But also: married to job.

yearning hours. won't admit it but oh he is yearning.

i love how this unintentionally escalated from 'interested and rather confused about it' to full blown yandere bullshit. but that's how it works in the good yandere fics anyways, right?

can you see half the problem now

Slash:

girl generally isn't emotionally constipated but why the FUCK would she like this walking rotisserie at ALL for ANY REASON anyways she's trying to distance herself. aggressively

see. here's the thing. She absolutely would burn down the world for the people she loves. However. this is something of a problem when Pluto + Byte and Delusion are on two, very hostile sides. and like yeah she's with pluto and byte 100% but. could she really handle that. she's trying not to think about it.

"i fucking hate you. i hate that i like you at all. shit, man, how the hell am i going to get through this without losing at least one, but maybe two people! I'd choose Pluto and Byte over you any day no contest but I would be UPSET and i DON'T DESERVE THIS FUCKING! EMOTIONAL TURMOIL BULLSHIT!" (do you guys think she's a little upset?)

she's gonna be upset about it, buuuuut...she still has pluto and byte. she's doing good. one guy who she kinda liked vs. her two best friends who are just as insane as she is, and whom she's been through so much with? yeah losing delusion was absolutely best case scenario. anyways she keeps wondering if she could've somehow saved him.

she is so fucking pissed about this. I know i've said that three times but i cannot understate how mad she is. she's going to go off on her own to kill people. do you know how rare that is???? so rare that for a while no one thinks it could've been her. She's furious. unfortunately she's also very clingy with loved ones. and even more unfortunately. that includes delusion.

there's no WAY this is fate. no way in hell.

the only reason she would leave byte and pluto at all ever is if she had absolutely no other choice. this could be a variety of things; sickness, serious injury, they're trapped and she can't get them out on their own, etc. And hypothetically, Delusion might be able to help with some of these things, but even in such a case she ain't leaving them forever.

slightly more to the left of delusion only because in the right circumstances yeah maybe she actually would ask him out for real. pluto and byte better be safe and unbrainwashed and they all have to be chill with each other though. which is still an INCREDIBLY slim chance. the only reason BOTH of them aren't further to the right is because unfortunately i think they, outside of the context of their relationship, would be somewhat willing to get married. in theory. delusion is doing it for political gain more likely than not.

aggressively in denial

see point 6. ain't no way. nuh uh.

partly in denial but mostly just. this is the ONE thing she's being normal about.

seeee. here's the thing. saving him might also, in her mind, include making him stop. yknow. god complex, brainwashing. Actually mainly just that. pretty much the rest of it is fine. but yeah it's going to kinda be saving him but also 'i WILL fix him or SO HELP ME GOD.' she will still be fucking furious that she likes him tho and this will probably make things worse rather than better :D

"anyone" isn't really the point regarding where I put her dot. If I lumped Delusion with Byte and Pluto, her dot would be so far to the right it would be screeching about how the gays and transes ruin everything. but Delusion on his own? nah. he's like a 'it'd be nice to have but really not necessary' sorta thing. except she's angry about it.

see point 9

also she's being unusually violent because of all this. even if she stopped being upset about the fact that she cares about him at all, she's still distressed because she can't see any possible way for her to have Delusion and Pluto and Byte that doesn't involve letting Delusion brainwash them. and she sure as hell isn't letting him do that. and she's getting that stress out via murder and destruction of public and private property.

also it is CRITICAL that she does still also hate him despite romantic feelings. It's both. He's fucked up her and her besties so much and it's going to take more time than she has left on this earth for her to forgive him. which is fair.

[the-wayside]

I'm clearing out my fic rambles of things that I wrote that might have been things but probably won't be (at least for a while). I just need them out of my brain space so I can focus on the important stuff.

the memories of you, t/m?, 2k. Older Porsche/younger Kinn. A prologue I guess? It traces to the point at which the hypothetical story would start.

(Heads up, there is ten years' difference and they meet when Kinn is thirteen. nothing underage happens.)

Porsche has worked for the Theerapanyakul family a long time and even amongst all of those years, his loyalty has only ever been to the one who picked him up off the street, bloodied and broken in too many places, and told him he would help him take care of his brother. P’Chan had been his hero in more ways than one, but unfortunately, it’s been almost as many years since Porsche stood at the bottom of P'Chan's open grave and said his goodbyes to his mentor, replacing him as the head of security. Now pushing thirty-seven, he’s got the greys and the body aches that come with the life he’s lived.

He also knows that in and amongst all of it, he was little Kinn Theerapanyakul’s first love. Introduced at twenty-three to his charge’s younger brother, a pale little thirteen-year-old with braces and a bright smile, Porsche found him endearing in his openness. He never said a single word to Porsche for months but his eyes would always light up when Porsche walked into a room and he was distinctly quiet during their training sessions when Porsche would peel off his sweaty vest and wipe his face with it. More than once, Kinn had disappeared with a flushed face and an awkward boner passed off as needing to finish his homework. Porsche left him be because he was harmless. His crush made him interested in things he was not natural to, like gunmanship and knife fighting.

“You need to be as good a shot with your left as your right, Kinn,” Porsche bit his tongue not to call him, Little Dragon, his pet name for Kinn when they first met. Small, but fierce.

Kinn wasn’t a natural, but he was outstanding. And puberty finally blessed him. It cleared up his skin, and with his braces off, his winning smile became blinding. He was still a little scrawny as a teen so Porsche frequently had Nya, the compound chef, cook him up some more chicken and eggs which he tried to push off.

“I can’t eat anymore,” Kinn groused as he rubbed his little belly full of food.

“You need protein to rebuild your muscles. Can’t get strong on rice and salad,” Porsche reminded him.

“You don’t even eat this much,” Kinn whined and Porsche smiled.

“I’m not built to be a heavyweight. You could pack on some serious muscle if you wanted to, Little Dragon.”

Kinn flushes, “Don’t call me that.”

“Why, ‘cause it’s cute?” Porsche teased him, “You are the littlest dragon. Maybe one day you'll grow—”

“I’m grown,” Kinn volleyed with conviction and Porsche stopped because there was an iron to it that he’s never heard from Kinn.

“Are you now?” Porsche replied to ease the tension. “You won’t mind if we do ten proper rounds tomorrow then.”

Kinn exhaled because he’s bought himself a world of pain, but Porsche ruffled his hair, “Don’t be in such a hurry, Kinn, growing up is the worst thing you can do.”

Porsche had watched him grow and become a young man and he was proud. It was an awful day when Khun Korn had set his succession on Kinn’s still too slim shoulders. He smiled like he was grateful and honored, but Porsche watched as the light dimmed from his eyes. He was only eighteen. His ‘adulthood’ had coincided with a changing of mantles. No longer was Tankhun the heir to the family business, it was now Kinn, with all the knowledge that Porsche taught him and then some.

“Did you know?” Kinn breathed as they stood out on his suite balcony.

“I did,” Porsche told him honestly. He knew his work would transition from one heir to the other.

“Fuck you,” Kinn spat at him and Porsche accepted it with a shrug.

Kinn pushed him and said it again and Porsche did nothing to defend himself.

Porsche grabbed still thin wrists and pulled Kinn into him for the hug he didn’t get from his father, “You’re going to be okay; I promise, I’ll take care of you.”

Kinn sobbed for the life he would never have only once, buried in Porsche’s shoulder as he stroked his hair and rubbed his back.

Porsche cupped Kinn’s face when he emerged, puffy and red, and rubbed his cheeks with his thumbs, “There you go.”

Kinn has big brown eyes under thick eyebrows and they made Porsche smile and he stroked his hand over Kinn’s face. The air shifts and Kinn’s hands gripped tighter on Porsche’s waist.

Porsche was about to stop him when Kinn looked down at his lips, “Just once?”

Their dynamic was about to change completely. Porsche would stop being his teacher and shift into his bodyguard, his humor replaced by a list of requirements to ensure Kinn’s safety. They would never be Porsche and Little Dragon again.

In a way, Kinn now in a way looks exactly like the boy he met five years ago, but he’s also a man and Porsche understood him perfectly. He wanted a memory to hold onto. Porsche isn’t so cruel as to deny him that.

“Just once.” Because it’s stupid, irrational, and likely to get him fired and lose everything.

Porsche tipped Kinn’s face up by his chin and sealed his lips over Kinn’s. Kinn sighed and relaxed like it drained all the unhappiness away from him. He fumbles a bit as he opened his mouth and tried to tease Porsche, but it was clumsy, so Porsche worked with him, gentling him and pushing his tongue into Kinn’s mouth as he tugged on Porsche’s hips to bring him in closer. Teaching him as he had always taught him. And then Porsche could feel him pressing hard against his thigh as he licked Kinn’s soft palate and dragged his tongue over Kinn’s before he let them part with a slow kiss against Kinn’s lips. Kinn trembled and Porsche silently folded that up into himself because it was beautiful.

Kinn looked at him with a dazed expression and his lips were red.

“I’ll report to you 7 am sharp tomorrow, Khun Kinn.”

It’s a simple sentence, but it destroyed everything. Porsche was reassigned to Khun as if nothing had changed and Kinn disappeared to study abroad. Porsche only ever heard from him to have weekly updates via teleconference, no video, to keep him in the loop on his brother’s progress. It was as if Porsche was being held away by the length of an invisible stick and Kinn would not let him any closer.

He knows now that wasn’t the end, but it was the beginning of the end. The true end had come at when Kinn was twenty-three and he had come back from school and his year abroad in France, strong and more defined in himself and even more set on his feelings. Confronted with a man who knew what he wanted Porsche struggled to keep the line between them. Kinn wasn’t a child and he wouldn’t be contained.

“Porsche,” Kinn called him over and he walked up to the front of Kinn’s desk. He bowed politely and Kinn pressed his hands together under his chin, the rain a distant sound that prickled between them. “You were wounded on the last excursion.”

He had some fantastic bruising and there is a tense moment between them where Kinn expected him to raise his shirt and he did not.

“I appreciate your concern, Khun, but it’s nothing to fret over,” Porsche immediately realized he had set Kinn off. A rookie error.

“I don’t need you to define what my concerns are,” Kinn scolded him. “If my family is to remain protected you had best be up to the job and to prove it.”

Kinn motioned for Porsche to come and stand before him as he turned his chair away from his desk to make space for Porsche in front of him.

Porsche complied to save a fight and unbuttoned his suit vest, stripped it off and then his shirt. The biggest bruise bloomed ugly on his waist and up onto his ribs. It looked and felt like he had been hit with a boulder. Kinn’s fingers reached out and hovered over touching him. Porsche also realized that he’s softer in places than Kinn remembered, Porsche’s want and willingness to lean and hone his body had taken somewhat of a backseat due to his lessened workload. He’s still cut and his stomach ripples as he turns away from Kinn, but there is a soft overlay that cushions his stomach as Kinn grasps him and holds him by the pained part of his side.

“Ow,” Porsche can’t help it, and perversely, Kinn digs into it harder. Porsche pushes him off and Kinn grabs the back of his thigh and Porsche stumbles into him. Kinn hooks his hands around Porsche’s thighs and somehow hikes him up onto his lap in the chair.

Porsche is left to look down at Kinn, his thighs on either side of Kinn’s as Kinn held his hips, eyes trained on his bruise. He asked Porsche, “Did you kill them?”

“Of course, I killed them. They could have harmed the family.”

Kinn ducked and pressed his forehead against Porsche’s bare chest, “The family.”

Porsche yelped as strong fingers dig into his rear and he tried to pry Kinn loose, “Khun—”

“Fuck you,” Kinn told him once again, those big brown eyes coming up to scorn him. One hand loosens and grabbed Porsche by the back of the neck and yanked him down to press him against Kinn’s mouth. Unlike the clumsy eighteen-year-old, Kinn at twenty-three had practiced, and he stole Porsche’s breath away as he consumed him, tongue demanding entrance into his mouth, doing anything, including jabbing Porsche’s bruise to get it. Porsche gasped, startled and Kinn was inside. His grip meant that Porsche couldn’t go anywhere, he was left pinned as Kinn leaned up into him and repeated back to him the same kiss he was given when they kissed last, but it was not the same. It was not humble or kind. Kinn owned him and left him wrought and raw, breath heavy as Kinn finally let him go.

Porsche was about to speak, to curb the insanity, when Kinn hauls him up with strong, stronger than Porsche remembers, arms and carries him towards the bedroom. Porsche pushed at him, “Kinn.”

“I’m a better fuck than half the guys you’ve been with. If not, I’ll never say another word.”

Porsche should have ended it, but he didn’t. He could make infinite excuses: he was weak, he was lonely, it had been a long time, and Kinn was there. The only one that was true was that in that moment, Porsche wanted him. He forgot about the history, he forgot about his place in it all and he simply wanted the gorgeous man in front of him who made him feel special because five years had passed and Porsche was still at the forefront of his mind. Because it was Kinn.

He still remembers how he cried out when he came, shameless, and Kinn crowing victoriously he wrapped his fingers around Porsche’s throat to hold him back to Kinn’s chest. The window Kinn pressed him into was cold and his legs ached but his body shivered hotly. He mewled and shook and it was exhilarating and embarrassing because Kinn was right. He was a better lay, and within an afternoon, ten years of respect went down the drain. Not respect for Kinn, Porsche’s self-respect because Kinn was his charge, even when he wasn’t, and Porsche couldn’t keep it, or his legs, together.

Maybe Kinn thought that if they slept together things would change. Porsche would change. But he didn’t. He showered and dressed and he presented himself to Kinn’s bedraggled hair and sleep-rumpled face.

“You have a meeting at 10 am, Khun Kinn.”

Kinn glares at him, “You’re fired.”

Porsche nods, “Of course.”

His father put Porsche on Khun’s detail far away from Kinn until he left for a business trip that was supposed to last six months but it ended up being three years.

Porsche figures they must have it under control by this point so that when he greets Kinn now, it can be as his true guide and mentor.

Kinn gets out of his Maserati but the passenger side door also swings open and a man, a little older than Kinn but younger than Porsche, gets out with a wide, almost smarmy, smile.

Pete nudges him in the side, “That’s Khun Kinn’s boyfriend, right?”

Porsche has no idea, “I think so.”

“When he said he was bringing him home, I didn’t think he’d go through with it,” Pete murmurs but Porsche has Kinn pinned with a look. He doesn’t know what his face is saying but Kinn is staring back at him just as hard.

Pete reaches out first with a bow, “Khun Kinn.”

“Pete, Tawan, Pete is part of my brother’s detail under Porsche,” Kinn gestures to Porsche.

Porsche doesn’t bow, “I serve as the head of security under Khun Kinn’s employ.”

He lets his gaze slide over to Tawan, “You’ll understand if we have to make some adjustments while you stay here.”

His voice is thin and tight and Kinn barely conceals his glare. Porsche doesn’t care, Tawan seems none the wiser, “That seems reasonable, it was a very abrupt visit after all. I’ve been bugging Kinn to meet his family for months.”

Months. They were fucking the last time Kinn came home and Kinn looks at him while he makes the calculation. Not that he should even have to, Kinn isn’t his boyfriend or even his fuck buddy. He’s pretty sure Kinn has a detailed list about that rather than informing his head of security that he’s bringing an unvetted individual to the compound.

“There’s no problem, is there, Porsche?” Kinn smiles but it’s vacant and he wraps his hand around Tawan’s wrist like a shackle. Porsche eyes his hand and then looks at his face, “Why would there be?”

[ywpd-translations]

Ride 728: Kaburagi's buddy!!

Pag 1/2

The tickets for the Inter High are only six!! Those  fateful regular jerseys.... snatch them with your hands!!

Pag 3

1: Third lap!!

3: And it's just us!!

4: I started the third lap of the Sohoku training camp being at the top, by far the best among the first years!!

5: Me!! I, Murakami Toyoka, will never again show mercy to anyone!!

Pag 4

1: He's not coming....

2: Tch, again? Kaburagi-san

3: That day, Danchiku said “I'll come”....

5: I'll come to the training camp!!

I'll stand on the start line and we'll run together!! That's my intention!!

6: He said that, and yet....

Pag 5

1: I wanted to go to the Inter High together...

Dammit!!

2: It's alright!! It's alright, Kaburagi-san!!

Uhm, I'm sure.... it's just a delay and they're late!!

If thie guy's spirit breaks now I'm in trouble!! I have to stir him up again and make him run forward

3: If he doesn't pull me, I'm in trouble!!

He'll come soon!!

4: Earlier, at the start line, when we crossed the goal, I saw Touji-san's van

5: Huh!?

7: The fact that they're here and he still doesn't come on the course....

Danchiku's bad condition is...

Pag 6

1: It's not like this, is it!?

Pag 7

1: Do you see the course, Danchiku?

You see? They're struggling

…. yes

It's like I told you earlier in the car

2: You can't ride that bike anymore

3: You should stop

5: …. yes

7: Instead of that

Pag 8

1: Ride this!!

Pag 9

1: It took me a while to prepare this before leaving

It's the same manifacturer as the one you rode, but it's an old model

The components are old, and the wheels are an intermediate level, too

2: And the sadlle is cracked too

4: But it serves its purpose well

5: If you want to ride in this training camp with the bike you've always used, you probably

6: Wouldn't be able to run!!

7: …. huh

You're saying that.... the cause for my bad condition.... is my “bike”!?

Pag 10

1; You could say that, but not really

2: Two weeks ago, Onoda came to me

3: to get some advice regarding your situation

Ah... uhm, uh- that's what I wanted to talk about

4: I talked with Imaizumikun and Naruko-kun too, but I still.... uhm... I can't decide

5: Should I let Danchiku-kun run in the training camp? Or should I stop him? I can't decide

7: He himself said he wants to run

8: He still has next year

Pag 11

1: I also think he shouldn't push himself too hard

3: You really look like a captain now, Onoda....

Yeah

4: Miki told me about this too

5: There must be praparations to do, you focus on that

I'll take care of Danchiku

6: I'll reach out to him every day

I'll talk to him, wait and see, and then make a decision

7: Thank you, you must be busy, but thank you so much!

8: He worked very hard on Minegayama

And then

9: When I heard he was having troubles with his bike, I started worrying too

Pag 12

2: I looked after you, your attitude

4: And I found the answer!!

6: It's “moving forward”

Run in the training camp, Danchiku!!

Pag 13

1: …. ah, but I've been feeling like there's something wrong with my joints since after the Minegayama race.... I went to the hospital many times and still, even now...

2: There, it was just a coincidence that it happened right after the Minegayama race...

3: That's why it confused you

4: Confused!?

5: “You have no self-confidence”, that's the main cause of your bad condition

…..“Confidence”!?

6: Stand up and look closely around you

7: And then look at yourself!!

8: If you think about it, it's easy

Even going to the hospital, you wouldn't know

You're....

Pag 14

1: Growing

You've gotten much bigger

Pag 15

1: It's your height!!

2: Huh!?

3: Second year of high school is a growing period and you're becoming much bigger!!

Pag 16

1: Huh, but....

My height!?

2: During growth period, there'll be big growing spurts that makes you feel bad

You tried to hide your bad condition, and you blamed the victory on Minegayama

3: You were so worried you couldn't even see yourself, weren't you?

4: Yes!!

5: Pains and creaking joints are all “growing pains”

The fact that you didn't have time to adapt is your bike's fault

6: You know this too – just like shoes have a size, road bikes also have specific sizes

7: If your body doesn't match the bike's size, you won't have power nor speed

8: That why it's the “bike”!!

9: I prepared it yesterday

The frame is old, but

Pag 17

1: It's just the right size for your body now!!

Pag 18

1: What....

“Just the right size”.....!!

2: What is this

3: It adapts to my body....

It's connected to my body

4: It feels like I can move forward as I want!!

Pag 19

1: This feels so good!

I'm riding a bike and it feels just like back then!!

2: Believe in yourself

Get on the course and run with all your strength

3: It's alright

As much as you've suffered this past half a year

4: Now grow as much as you want!!

Yes!!

Pag 20

2: Sixth..... lap!!

3: Danchiku...

4: Dammit!! Our pace has been going down since earlier!!

What the hell is this guy doing!!

5: Looking at the times on the board, Kinaka and Rokudai are ressing on with all their strengths

This is bad!!

6: Dammit!! Who cares about Danchiku!!

7: At this point we won't go the Inter High this year....

It's impossible, huh....

8: The pace....

9: ….chiku....

Pag 21

1: He's not coming, Danchiku-san is not coming!!

Until when are you gonna whining like this!!

Come one, give up on that delusion and run with me please!!

3: Ah- no no no

Sorry, I didn't mean, uhm....

Dammit, I said what I really think

4: Kaburagi-san looks so dumbfounded!!

Pag 22

1: I.... I said too much, I'm sorry

Can you forgive me? Neh? Senpai

5: Ah- the buddy sticker!? Kaburagi-san!?

6: Pick it up later, Murakami

You threw it away!?

8: The way he's ducking his head, that acceleration, and that dancing

I've seen them so many times....

I can recognize him right away even from a distance....!!

Pag 23

1: You promised me, didn't you?

And now you're crying!?

2: I told you, didn't I?

3: Who....?

It's no use, it has to be you

4: W.... ah

5: Danchiku

Pag 24

1: We're the legends of team SS!!

I made you wait so long!! Issa!!

Pag 25

3: No one but me can be your buddy!!

Hahaha that's right, Danchiku!!

Pag 26

2: A while ago, also Onoda came on the course

3: And Danchiku joines us, too

From now on

4: We're finally starting for real!!

[chevelleneech]

I agree with you overall but the problem isn't him posting really. Unlike tkkrs, jkks don't really think tae and jk friendship is fake/fs/never existed, the main problem is the timing and the lack of mentioning other members during it over and over even when they have big moments in the process. It seems like he posts some things in a very caculated timing where he benefit more out of it than jimin or even jk. People don't suddenly wake up and decided to post old trip pictures right when a certin trip show is about to start with said person and another member. there was an intent there. Some people will say it's him showing support and wanting to be included out of love others will say it's him having an agenda and bandwagon jumping on other people's projects without caring how they'd be treated. He is questionable because it happened too many times to be a coincidance. his shippers claim he's doing it on purpose but they are okay with it cause for them it means they getting "orders" so even they see it so..there's something there. I think jk lack of response is awkward and ignoring other members in his jk mentions makes it questionable so as well but that's who he is. He can do what he wants but I hope he'll be more responsible in the future cause at some point it just look funny and slightly selfish

I don’t necessarily disagree, about his actions being questionable, but I also think it’s important to remember Tae has been like this for about five years give or take. In my opinion, I’d say it coincides with the time JM and JK settled into their whatever they’ve got going on, and hasn’t changed much since.

So I don’t think he’s being spiteful or even sneaky in regards to Jikook as a shipped pairing, but that he could be envious of the bond they’ve developed over the years. This is all speculation on my part, but we know he and Jungkook were close when they were younger. We know JK was pretty damn shy and seemed just as shy around Jimin. He never seemed that way with Tae, and I’m speaking purely on what we’ve seen, not from a ship perspective.

As the members grew up, JM and JK remained close, as far as we know, but Tae and JK had a little bump in the road. We can also assume them both developing love lives and outside friendships likely played a part in things, which includes Tae’s friendship with Jimin. I’m not someone who thinks Vmin aren’t close anymore because of social media or a lack of visible solo music support. I’m big on taking what we see and forming an opinion of my own, but ultimately remembering I don’t post on social media for all my family’s stuff.

To me, it’s bullshit to hold celebrities to higher standards in this context, just because we want to know things about them. So seeing as Vmin obviously hung out during the filming of the travel show, is it not safe to assume they don’t have as many problems as people are thinking?

I don’t want to ramble too much longer, but my overall opinion of what’s going on is that I have a hard time judging Tae for “interrupting” Jikook moments, and assuming negative intent, because JK and Jimin seem fine.

We know Tkkrs take what Tae does and twist it and run shit into the ground and kickstart hate campaigns toward Jimin for existing near JK, but neither Jimin nor Jungkook have reacted, as far as we know. And Tae hasn’t changed his actions. So unless maknae line are secret enemies, I don't see the motivation.

[mirrormazeworld]

TWST Theory : Analysis of Diasomnia Chapter and Twisted Wonderland Based on Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass - "A Mirroring World"

⚠️WARNING⚠️

⚠️CONTAINS SPOILER CHAPTER 7⚠️

It's just analysis based on my thoughts and some uneasy feelings I want to clear up coming from a hunch everytime I read chapter 7 and play twst as a whole so this theory isn't about "predicting what's going to happen" using Disney Sleeping Beauty as reference, but rather, to make sense of what's going on from what I see with my own perspective so take it with the grain of salt, because this is actually one absurd theory that even myself don't believe it, but this is what it is, this is what is there, and this uneasy feeling is too real since the day I played twst for the first time.

I remember somewhere in her tweet Yana said something like, "Twisted Wonderland is a world paralleling to our (Yuu's) world" so I feel like somehow, what happened in Diasomnia chapter part 2 is mirroring Twisted Wonderland itself so this time, I'll do the analysis in a special way similar to when I did an analysis for Crowley.

A secret to do an analysis of Twisted Wonderland based on "Through the Looking Glass" (and to solve the puzzle in itself) is that you'll need its counterpart, "Alice in Wonderland", and do the analysis between them back and forth because "Through the Looking Glass" is actually mirroring "Alice in Wonderland". I'll also do the same, but this time, with "Sleeping Beauty". We will try to detect and find some fallancies by comparing Diasomnia chapter with Twisted Wonderland itself and "Through the Looking Glass" with "Sleeping Beauty"

Just like I said before, this theory isn't to predict what's going to happen in Diasomnia chapter but rather, talking about Twisted Wonderland, the game itself as a whole.

Similarities of "Twisted Wonderland" and "Diasomnia Part 2"

Suppose that Twisted Wonderland is mirroring the real world, and Malleus' dreamworld is mirroring Twisted Wonderland, which is based on Through the Looking Glass. So we have :

1. Sleeping Beauty and Through the Looking Glass revolves around "dream". However, judging from Malleus' intention, his is not based on classic Disney's sleeping beauty but rather, the feeling of sadness and loss caused by time. If you know the reason why Lewis Carroll wrote "Through the Looking Glass" a sequel to "Alice in Wonderland" is because he has that feeling of loss because he couldn't meet the irl Alice (his main inspiration) anymore which somehow can be felt in "Humpty Dumpty" chapter, in which Humpty Dumpty said "Leave off at seven" but it's too late now. Alice is 7 years old when she goes to Wonderland. And how funny it is that Lilia is aged 700 years old when Malleus give him his blessing. Is it a coincidence? Or there's some hidden meaning behind it?

2. In Sleeping Beauty, Aurora is supposed to be dead by Maleficent's curse but rather she fell into deep slumber. Alice in Wonderland, originally titled "Alice's Adventures Underground" is a story about a girl who fell into a rabbit hole, which later revealed to be a dream when Alice awakened by her sister. Alice in Wonderland is actually inspired from a certain theme in art and litterature which popular at the time when the book is written, which is also the time when the author lived his entire life : "Victorian Age". That theme is Presephone, the Greek Godess of spring whose descent into the underworld. This theme is actually also the oldest recorded myth in world literature, and that myth is the story of Mesopotamian goddess Inanna's descent into the underworld realm of the dead.

The myth of Persephone begins in an idyllic meadow with her older sister, the earth goddess Demeter. Persephone is idly daydreaming and picking flowers when she falls down an infinitely deep fissure into a subterranean world. She experiences many adventures and trials, but at last escapes and returns to her sister Demeter’s arms.

The frame story of Alice’s Adventures—in both the Under Ground and Wonderland versions—mirrors Persephone’s journey. In Alice’s case, she is sitting in an idyllic meadow with her older sister, Lorina, and—while idly daydreaming and considering the picking of flowers—drifts into a dream wherein she falls down an infinitely deep hole into a subterranean world. Like Persephone, she experiences many adventures and trials, but finally escapes from the underground world and returns to the arms of her sister Lorina.

Now you know why Disney Japan and Aniplex chose Yana as the one who made the story and illustration of Twisted Wonderland (as I believe she did a lot of research on Victorian Age already during her time as an author of Black Butler) has a lot of theme around death, from coffin, the college gate that reads cortege upside down, the ghosts, the manga adaption Yuus who go to Twisted Wonderland after some kind of accident and their name that somehow related to death, even the year of the release of Mickey Thru the Mirror is there in Ignihyde dorm, the dorm of underworld.

3. Right after Malleus said, "give me that hand" Malleus went overblot. Right after we took Crowley's hand we see Grim overblot. If you read my analysis before, Grim is Jabberwock. Jabberwock is generally portrayed as a dragon-like beast, that is slayed by the protagonist of the poem with vorpal sword. In Sleeping Beauty, Maleficent in dragon form is slayed (stabbed) with Sword of Truth. Tbh I was really suspicious of Malleus who seems to weirdly attached to Ramshackle Dorm, the dorm of Through the Looking Glass after reading Jabberwocky when I was doing analysis on Grim, seeing that he is a dragon....

We all know dorm leader SSR is released only at the same time when the story of they're about to go overblot is released (or after that in Malleus' case). SSR Dorm Uniform Malleus has the same type of magic as overblot Grim. Overblot Grim only has one type of magic, cosmic magic which its power increase gradually and that magic is the zero type cosmic magic (Zero Breath, Zero Breath II , Zero Breath III). Malleus SSR Dorm Uniform also has only zero type cosmic magic for his main two magic spells (Zero Ray II), though I already looked that the only difference are only their 3rd magic, but all of them are both cosmic magic.

4. Malleus said, "You'll all become a hero in a fairytale." If you read the poem Jabberwocky (you can read it here) , even though it is a nonsense poem, it's a poem about a boy who slain a monster, Jabberwock and becomes a hero.

5. If we pay attention, we do know that mirror is like a door to other dimension, like Ramshackle dorm's mirror or any other magic mirror in NRC. In addition to being the "Sword of Truth" and possesing similar traits as Princess Aurora, in reality, the chemical process of coating a non-conductive substrate such as glass with a reflective substance, to produce a mirror is called "Silvering", and this term is also used for the application of any reflective metal as well. This process of Silvering is what makes regular see through glass becomes so reflective as if it creates another dimension. So if the dream world created by Malleus is mirroring Twisted Wonderland, then without doubt, Silver will be the key to get out from that dream world created by Malleus (and Idia who seems to have the role of Merryweather by breaking Malleus' blessing/curse)

Night Raven College and Twisted Wonderland (the game)

If you take a look closely and know it, there are some winter elements in both NRC and Ramshackle dorm.

A mirror we see in the prologue is the dark mirror from Disney Snow White, in addition, there is Pomefiore becoming the oldest dorm in NRC and many other things like the historical apple tree and well which seems to be from Snow White. If you ever watched Disney Mickey Lonesome Ghost, the short movie where the ghost of ramshackle dorm is based on, the time setting of the story is winter. In chapter 1 of Through the Looking Glass before Alice goes inside the mirror, the time setting of the story is also winter, even her white cat is named Snowdrop.

In Diasomnia chapter part 2, from what Malleus said, we can assume that his blessing can put everyone to sleep for 1000 years. In chapter 6, Idia said the spell on Grim is aged 1000 years which is an ancient spell of a primitive class. And it is said that NRC has been there approximately around 500 years or more since Lilia enrolled with invitation from 500 years ago.

Besides in chapter 7 Malleus said, "Give me your hand." In the prologue, here when Crowley said "Take the hand in the mirror", we can see the hand in the mirror is actually belongs to Maleficent.

So, what does this mean?

It's purely just speculation but referring to the analysis I did before, about Crowley being Mad Hatter, seeing how his role is basically just watching his students fighting and not doing anything is similar to how Hatta watching the Lion and the Unicorn fighting each other while drinking tea and as we know Twisted Wonderland is based on Through the Looking Glass (hence the name), we can assume that Crowley is the Mad Hatter of Through the Looking Glass (Hatta).

In most media, Hatter doesn't really have some kind of magical ability. However, in Disney Mickey Phantom Blot, Mad Hatter appeared as a cameo and his hat is stolen. I don't remember really well but if my memory serves right, he stole it to go to other dimension (you're welcome to correct me on this part). Additionaly, in Once Upon a Time TV series by Disney-ABC Group, Jefferson (played by Sebastian Stan) is a Mad Hatter who owns a magical hat that he can use to travel between different worlds and he used it to retrieve objects for the Evil Queen (yes, that Evil Queen from Snow White)

If we combine our assumption of Crowley as the Hatter from Through the Looking Glass, then that means we can replace the magical hat with mirror, which means : Crowley can use magical mirror to retrieve objects between different worlds.

And this is why in my previous analysis of Crowley, I only said "he can turn back time" but I never said his magic is to turn back and loop time but rather "he can manipulate timespace". It's shown in Mad Hatter's equation of 4th dimension, and besides even in physics, a change in timespace can disturb time itself. Therefore, a backward/looping time is only the side effect of Crowley's magic. His real magic is manipulating timespace like creating a portal or something.

Now after Diasomnia part 2 is released, there's one thing we need to question again : For who is this chant/question for?

To answer that question we will need to see the prologue once again

Usually, everytime Crowley uses dark mirror, his chant will be "闇の鏡 (Yami no kagami/Dark Mirror)". However, if you notice it, there's something different from Crowley's chant on the prologue.

We all know that normally the chant will be "闇の鏡 (Yami no kagami/Dark Mirror)" if Crowley (or us) want to use Dark Mirror which can also be seen everytime we summon for a card. However, for "The Flower of Evil" one he used the chant "鏡よ鏡 (Kagami yo kagami/Mirror Mirror/Magic Mirror)" and then "闇の鏡 (Yami no kagami/Dark Mirror)" afterwards.

If you know it or at least have ever heard it, "鏡よ鏡 (Kagami yo kagami/Mirror Mirror/Magic Mirror)" is the original chant for Magic Mirror from Disney Snow White in Japanese. If we see how the magic mirror works in Snow White, Evil Queen will asks a question who is the fairest of all, and then the mirror will give back the answer.

Based on this fact, though there are a lot of speculations even myself who thought it's meant for Yuu, what if the "鏡よ鏡 (Kagami yo kagami/Mirror Mirror/Magic Mirror)" chant is actually not meant for Yuu but rather, to reflect Maleficent's image in the mirror?

If we think about it, if Yuu is supposed to be "You" (us) then Yuu can have a lot of different traits depending on the people who plays the game, which is, really confusing to be described as a question/chant to the mirror. But if Crowley's "鏡よ鏡 (Kagami yo kagami/Mirror Mirror/Magic Mirror)" chant meant to reflect Maleficent's image as the way for the mirror to give the answer to him the same way as Magic Mirror give the answer to Evil Queen about Snow White, then his chant would fit, since Diasomnia is based on the "nobility" of Queen of Thorn's heart (Maleficent) and we all know Maleficent is also known as "Mistress of All Evil" (Flower of Evil). And so that's why Maleficent's hand is there reflected in the mirror.

Speaking about Mad Hatter's special ability again, in the video game of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, which is a video game of Disney's Alice in Wonderland live action, Mad Hatter has an ability called "Perspective". However, this "Perspective" is different in both Wii, PC, and Nintendo DS version. In Wii and PC, Hatter can combine things and visualize pictures into real by seeing them in different ways. In DS, In order to use Perspective, the player must find an orange hat floating and then Hatter can warp Alice and himself with his hat onto the other side of wherever the player is.

Although Yana herself said that "Twisted Wonderland" is based on "Through the Looking Glass", I still don't know whether she did put the live action Disney Through the Looking Glass in her work for Twisted Wonderland, but if she did, and if she referenced twst from its video game as well, then like the reflection that can be different depends on the position of the mirror, there's a high possibility that Crowley's magic can change depends on its position as well (Perspective)

So supposed that the Dark Mirror can connect to different dimension. Then if he combined his two magics it would be like this :

With "鏡よ鏡 (Kagami yo kagami/Mirror Mirror/Magic Mirror) chant, Crowley asked something about Maleficent to Dark Mirror and then it showed him Maleficent's image through its reflection. This is when he used his first magic, visualize pictures into real.

And then with "闇の鏡 (Yami no kagami/Dark Mirror)" chant, this is when he started to manipulate timespace and warp Yuu through the Dark Mirror onto the other side of Yuu's world (Twisted Wonderland)

Remember what Crowley said the first time Yuu got to Twisted Wonderland and met him? From Yuu's POV, they only thought it's a dream but for Crowley, he said something like this :

So from that speculations we can conclude that Crowley retrieved Yuu from their world to Twisted Wonderland by borrowing Maleficent's magic, which is similar to Malleus's magic.

So if we see why everytime we groovy a card there would be thorns, it's due to the same magic effect from the same/similar magic (Malleus's unique magic) but Malleus wasn't the one casting it but rather, it's Crowley who did it. So all this time, the reason why they can go to Twisted Wonderland is because they're under Crowley's magic. Which is also why he seems to know something but pretend to not know it.

Once again, this is only speculation because there's no more in game information about it but if there really is a loop in Twisted Wonderland and that loop is a causal loop , then that would also make sense why Grim doesn't have origin, if he is actually created by the effect of the loop itself. Which also means Grim is as old as Crowley's magic (and because Crowley used Maleficent's magic/Malleus UM, that would make Grim approximately 1000 years old in Twisted Wonderland time from the time the spell is being casted).

The last chapter of Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carrol is titled "Which Dreamed It?"

Supposed that Malleus can create a world of dream by casting a sleeping spell on someone. If Crowley borrow Malleus'(Maleficent's) unique magic, then he can do the same thing as well, which means he created another reality of Twisted Wonderland in a looping time to prevent Twisted Wonderland to meet its end, and because of this causal loop (something that's already happened will always happen), Grim is (re)born from his magic and Crowley is trapped inside the loop itself, which demands him to loop the time over and over again and if he do something else and create time paradox, he can't loop the time anymore which means the end of Twisted Wonderland. And this is why he needs Yuu's help.

So based on this theory, we can conclude that Grim is as old as the loop itself, in which approximately has began since 1000 years ago. And maybe this is also why his card only being released on Twisted Wonderland anniversary. Whatever Grim is 1000 years in Twisted Wonderland time or maybe older or younger than that, I can't be sure since at the time when this theory is written, there's little to no information about Grim.

But if the looping of Twisted Wonderland was created since 1000 years ago through a dream, does that mean Yuu has been sleeping and dreaming for 1000 years?

The answer is no, because time in Yuu's world is different from time in Twisted Wonderland, if Twisted Wonderland truly is based on Through the Looking Glass and Alice in Wonderland. In both Alice in Wonderland and Through the looking Glass, there's part of the story where how time goes in Wonderland is explained. Those part are in "A Mad Tea-Party" in Alice in Wonderland and "Queen Alice" in Through the Looking Glass.

In the chapter "Queen Alice" :

And in the chapter "A Mad Tea-Party" :

In our world (Alice's world), it's always "What o' clock today?" which means there are many hours in a day. However in Wonderland, it's "What day this month?" which means there are many days in a month.

If we compare side by side the time in real world and Wonderland it would be like this :

Hours in real world is the same as day in wonderland (hours = days)

And day in real world is the same as month in Wonderland (1 day in real world = 1 month in wonderland )

Which means time goes faster in Wonderland than real world. If how the time goes in Twisted Wonderland is based on this fact, then that means time in Twisted Wonderland is faster than time in Yuu's world. This is somehow has been hinted from what Malleus said and from what Crowley said from the official english translation of the prologue :

Well, Twisted Wonderland is just that interesting so I'm looking forward to what's in store for us.

[revelry-in-severity]

Alright, I figured it out

I don't know a thing about the upcoming event, but I'm assuming they all stay a night on whatever trip they're going on. Well, let's make the place haunted and the sekai kids all wake up in a labyrinth after they fall asleep, separated from each other. This place could even be a sekai with how some of the vocaloid songs turn out. They've had some of their character development, but let's bring back some of their older problems and make them face it. Of course, they also have to deal with the spirits chasing them around as they try to figure out what happened. I want this to be a full on Kikuo psychological horror rather than a thriller

They can eventually figure out they're not alone when they shout through the walls, but there's no way to just go straight through them, so they have to actually find their way around

Airi- Pretty simple considering she's the 2*, I've always kind of seen Airi as the guide of the group even when she was uncertain of herself, especially around Minori, except will-o-wisps are meant to lead people away from from destinations which causes her problems when they keep popping up because it seems they know the only path to go through, and she doesn't know where she is in this swamp anymore

Mafuyu- i think she would start off fairly calm considering the circumstances. She likes the quiet and almost considers not leaving immediately. Until the shadows start showing up, asking for help. Only, they sound pretty similar to some of her classmates and she becomes practically hopeless when the hand of her mother follows her between dimensions. Which leads her to believe that she'll never escape no matter how much she walks away

Shizuku- From what I looked up, the spirit next to her might be a Zashiki Warashi? Houses they guard will prosper and if the household manages to drive one away then the house will fall to ruin. Families would take take of their reception rooms so the spirit wouldn't be driven away, but Shizuku isn't exactly in a house right now which partially keeps driving the spirit away from her and bringing bad luck. The spirt would look like a normal little girl in this world and I think she would fall back on her perfect image in order to keep what she thinks is a lost girl safe, especially if the spirit does stay close afterwards

There's a discussion with Tsukasa waiting here

Tsukasa- This is the perfect devil/angel over your shoulder situation which would drive him crazy. He automatically wants to side with the prim and proper kitsune, but sometimes his instincts drive him over to the tanuki, and he's having a really hard time finding a balance. Only, they start talking about all his friends and how they would think when he leaves them behind to get out of here. Again. I know it's an umbrella spirit that represents abandoned items, but what if the sekai plushies start showing up too, wondering why he abandoned them. They're both a recent reminder and items from the past. He tries to reassure them that he didn't do so, only to be thrown off when the kitsune and fox ask who he's talking too

Who's he acting for if there's no one else around here, other than himself, to notice?

Rui-  As I don't think Rui has killed a whole bunch of people, I'm going with the anger option of the Gashadokuro. What if Rui has this built up anger, that he doesn't even realize? Anger over being feared and isolated for simply being himself. Maybe he's even angry about considering the disband of WxS. Only he never wanted or meant to be angry because the lantern spirits, the Chōchin obake, are meant for entertaining children— which is exactly what he wants to continue to do with everyone else. There's a few too many to be comfortable as he tries to run away from the Gashadokuro though

Read that the Gashadokuro could be repelled with specific charms, and what if a certain kitsune disappears from Tsukasa's side sometimes to appear next to Rui. These times just so happen to coincide with the quietness from the bones backing away, and the times where Tsukasa can get hurt or something. Really drive in how much he puts others before himself, or Rui could see him as a lucky charm that continues to save him. Could be both

@emuwu, @2-kakimiko-1 Is this enough of a jrpg/au start? :)

[goldstargloww]

curses, coincidences, and deity influences

so um. i kinda wrote an essay of some sorts

version that might be easier to read is at https://goldstargloww.neocities.org/goldsaysstuff/

the canary curse

canary call, the first to fall / forever caged in different walls. everyone knows this one - canaries were used in coal mines in the 1900s as a warning to miners that there where toxic gases such carbon dioxide or other asphyxiant gases in the air, which would effect small warm blooded animals faster than larger ones due to their quicker respiratory exchange. canaries were found to be more sensitive and effective than mice as they showed more visible signs of distress. canaries were brought into mines in carriers and cages to save the miners, often at the expense of their own lives (though sometimes they had little oxygen bottles to revive the birds)

this is jimmy. jimmy is always out first, without fail, in every season. he's the first one to be struck with lightning and separated from everyone else.

3rd life; died in a war with his husband despite being in a bunker.

last life; died because he got a bit too greedy as a red life and tried to push his brother-figure into a trap, and then faced the consequences.

double life; got caught and strangled by an enderman, leaving his cursed by proxy soulmate to die alone.

limited life; once again got too greedy as a red life and fell off the bridge along with the tnt minecraft he tried to push off of it. in fact, this wasn't even supposed to ever happen. he was supposed to die earlier, when etho got his boogey kill, but he got the incorrect amount of time subtracted from his total. he wasn't supposed to be alive - he was dead before he hit the ground.

two deaths from trying to keep himself safe, two from fall damage, two from greed. ironic how a bird dies twice from falling to his death, huh?

the canary in the coal mine analogy is actually vaguely referenced in the very first parts of 3rd life session one. martyn's digging down and asks bigb to sing for him so when martyn can't hear him anymore he knows he's dug too deep and it's time to leave

miners attempted to revive their canaries because of how much they relied on them. jimmy, however? no potential for revival there.

attempts to break the curse have been made. they've never succeeded.

jimmy's never seen anyone permadie. he's never seen a dead body. the day he does, if ever, is surely gonna hurt. "that should've been me".

the watcher curse

this one isn't really official, it's more of a pattern, and one harder to 'prove'. those who are watcher aligned (ex. grian) tend to cause themselves and their allies to lose or die early.

grian

grian caused scar's death in 3rd life.

all the southlanders died in last life, hell jimmy and mumbo were to his own hands, the two he was closest to.

he killed bigb in double life despite them being secret soulmates.

all the bad boys and clockers died in limited life, many because of him, notably scar.

the listener blessing

pretty much the opposite to the watcher curse, where everyone who's listener aligned (ex. scott, martyn, pearl) tend to cause themselvs and their allies to win or live longer.

scott

grian won third life with scar as second place - scott was allies with both of them

scott himself won last life with pearl, his closest ally, in the top four

pearl (and technically scott, in a sense) won double life with the other half of the divorce quartet as second or third/fourth place. tilly death do us part!

martyn won limited life by betraying his own mean gill, "and i wouldn't have had it any other way."

scott has been allied with every single person who has won one of these death games up to limited life.

martyn

dogwarts, despite not winning in the end, certaintly got very close to it. and martyn was the last of the king and his hand to die.

he made it to the top four in last life and in double life

he won limited life, maybe not the most honorably, but it's been coming all the way since red winter and his plan for red spring. and the watchers were notably involved in this win, too. "THIS IS A DEATH MATCH FOR A REASON."

the phoenix curse (etho)

every odd numbered season, etho loses his last life to fire/burning. in even numbered seasons, nothing fire/burning related even really happens

unnamed (joel)

joel always tends to end up alone and desperate for kills

the watcher's self fulfilling prophecy

the idea that because us, the watchers, the viewers, believe in these curses and stuff, makes them true

the canary curse

the idea that the watchers pushed jimmy off skynet in limited life to continue the canary curse

the widow curse

sort of ties into the watcher curse and listener blessing. the thought that with grian, he causes his allies to die and him to be left standing. with the listener aligned players, they're the only ones left standing until the end.

referenced by scott and cleo in third life, when their husbands die they'd make the widow's alliance

grian never being boogeyman

grian is a watcher who's inserted himself into the games. if he wasn't ever meant to play, if he was only ever meant to watch, why should he be a valid entry?

could be tied to the amount of lives he got in last life, as well. he wasn't meant to be there in the first place. why let him play longer?

the AFK session (grian)

canonically (to eyesandears), grian was pulled away from his body during the AFK session. "pause, unpause, we paralyze / a vacant stare for wandering eyes."

the watchers are pissed that grian keeps getting to play. they're trying their best to rip him out of the games and return to their grasp.

the border

"here's the thing about being beyond the veil - we're already dead."

being beyond the border doesn't protect you. it only hurts you. grian knows this because he's a watcher

bigb's invisibility

bigb was briefly invisible to scott during a fight in limited life due to a glitch in the game. what if this is just because the watchers hate scott with a passion and wanted to make his life harder? we already know they hate him

the fact that it was bigb, a former evo member, is interesting too…

playing by the rules - compliance and refusal

martyn either tries his hardest and fails, or obliges against his will.

his attempted boogey kill on scott failed and the shadow was very upset with him for this. they gave him one job and he failed.

he was very clearly influenced by the watchers to break the notion that red lives should all of a sudden be honorable at the final few again.

scott's outright denial

scott tried the whole boogeyman thing once in last life, but the next time he straight up refused to play by the rules. he told everyone he was the boogeyman and laid out his plan of playing as normal unless a situation arises where he could steal a kill.

he denied his soulmate in double life and went and got a new one

rushed boogey kill in limited life instead of building up the suspense the watchers wanted

has technically won 2/4 games.

bdubs being unwatched

bdubs didn't record his limited life perspective. he could only have been watched through others's perspectives, or heard about.

[toreencapsicle]

For what it's worth - Chapter one (Danny Phantom fanfiction)

Helloooo! It's been so long since I've written fanfiction, it's crazy! However, I'm sick right now and I went on a random reading spurt for the first time in years and basically inhaled all of liketolaugh's Danny Phantom fanfiction on AO3, which heavily inspired me to write down this idea I've had for a while. So I guess this is also somewhat of a gift for them? I'm struggling a lot to write a fanfiction with OCs, being scared of negative backlash. But I'm too sick right now to care, so let's gooo!

Also, typical: English is not my first language, please let me know if you find any mistakes!(again..also sick as hell right now, so that might make matters worse oops). If you want to read it on AO3, you can do it here!

Summary: Reyka Dup would do anything to get away from her family, that is obsessed with the occult. After having been used for all types of experiments all her life, with the cliché excuse of being "the one", she manages to flee, ending up in the Fenton's residence in Amity Park. However, she has changed in a way that is irreparable and she has to learn how to deal with that, on top of her trauma. The realization that she might not even be from the same dimension only makes matters worse for her.

Tags and Warnings: Mention of Abuse PTSD Swearing Blood mention Heavy Trauma Suicidal Mention

"If you push this button right now-...no one knows what could happen!" "Anything, and I mean anything to be free from this rotten nightmare of a household!"

A click. A moment of silence. Then a flash of green and a bang.

______________________________________________________________

Amity Park, the Fenton Familie's House. Jazz was there by coincidence, more or less. It was the end of her first Semester, so for her vacation she decided that a family visit would be the best way to kill time. Less because of her parents than for her brother Danny. What wasn't a coincidence however, was the fact, that her parents had to run off for an "urgent task" only a few minutes after Danny sneaked off to fight one of the many ghosts that decided to plague the town today. Almost as if the ghosts could smell it, vacation and holiday time was the ghosts favorite time to be a pest.

Not in the mood for this stress, Jazz decided to stay home. By now she knew that Danny was capable enough of handling these things himself, and if he needed help, he would find a way to contact her. Their parents, even though they knew about his not-so-secret anymore identity, still worried for their son and always followed close too...even though they might not be the biggest help possible. But it's the thought that counts, right? So she was sitting on the living rooms couch, reading one of the few books from the old dusty shelves, when she heard a loud bang coming from the basement. Her mood told her to ignore it and deal with it later. Instinct and experience however, urged her to get up and check out what was going on. Sneaking off to the kitchen, she grabbed a spare Fenton Thermos Can that her parents "hid" right next to the microwave, only to take a deep breath and make her way down to the origin of the noise.

Jazz wasn't sure what exactly she was expecting. A ghost causing havoc? A burglar? Equipment randomly deciding to blow up due to faulty wireing? What she wasn't expecting however, was a girl (or woman? hard to tell in this situation) laying on the floor against the wall, blood running over her neck down to her shoulders. Without a second thought, Jazz put away the Thermos, grabbed the nearest first-aid-kit and ran over to help.

Or well. She tried. The moment her hands got close to the girl, it started to faze in and out - though it looked more like...glitching? That is probably the best way Jazz would describe it. Unsure what to do, Jazz called for drastic measures and pulled out her phone, punching in her moms number, in hopes to get her to pick up on the first try.

______________________________________________________________

Pushing the button was a last resort. Reyka wanted nothing more than to get away from her crazy family, obsessed with the supernatural. All the experiments done on her for "the greater good", leaving her without food for days, using her blood in hopes to summon a deity...all of that and more. It was just too much. When her oldest Cousin suddenly forbid her from entering the attic, she knew something was off, even more than her whole life had been so far. Usually her family would beg her to go into the attic, to pray and to offer, to study the occult and find even a glimpse of proof. Why now, would they suddenly try to keep her from there? The attic was the only place she could be alone for a while. The place closest to all the weird stuff done to her, but ironically enough her only safe space in the house.

"...the portal..." "...green glow..." "...mystical..." "...scared." Those were only puzzle pieces of a conversation she listened in on. "Portal?" No. More importantly "scared" ? So far in her life Reyka has never heard of any family member being scared of anything. Not even back when they were sure of having summoned Chtulluh. That was a first. Just as much as it was a first for anyone keeping secrets and for Reyka to be curious about whatever her family was up to. If there truly was a portal, then that meant there was a chance for her to get away. She didn't spend a second to think about what might be behind the portal. It didn't matter. Any place must've been better than "home".

The only way for her to get into the attic was stealing the key from her oldest sister, pretend to go to the toilet at dinner and quietly make her way up. Dinner time was the only time she could be sure, that no one was guarding the attic, as it carried a lot of importance to her family, that everyone sat and ate together.

Step one, getting the key, was the hardest part...she thought. As it turned out, her sister really didn't believe in Reyka's intelligence a lot. Carelessly leaving the keys in the unlocked key safe by the main door, thinking that Reyka wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the house, bike, car and attic keys. By evening, she had easily aquired the keys to the attic without anyone noticing. So she put it in the pocket of her lavender blouse, hiding it behind a mint colored handkerchief she neatly put in there as well.

After about 10 minutes, she excused herself to go to the bathroom. Her family were monsters, but at least they didn't question her on having to go to the toilet. “5 minutes...”, she thought, “5 minutes is all I need, to be gone forever.” Slowly, quietly and carefully, she made her way up the stairs, careful not to trigger even the slightest creak. All those years living in this household taught her how to step on those stairs in the perfect way to avoid any extra noise.

“First flight done, another one to go.” It felt like forever. She counted the seconds, the minutes in her head. One steps, two steps, three steps-! Suddenly a shriek, Reyka stumbling down all three steps again. A rat ran past her, startling her far more than it should've. “Reyka?!” “Shit...”, a mumble.

Downstairs, she could hear someone get up while her name was called. And then steps. Slow. Then faster. Suddenly running up the first flight of stairs.

“Shit shit shit!”, now more an exclamation than a mumble. She fumbled the keys out of her pocket, dropping the handkerchief, running up the leftover stairs, struggling to get the door open. “Goddamn old rusty door! Open up, come on!” Turning her head for a split second, she saw her oldest brother dashing up the stairs as if his life depended on it. Behind him her father and her uncle. Just as she was ready to give up, the door clicked, flying open and exposing the attic. It looked so familiar...but also so different. Across the room, at the big window, the curtains were drawn and a ring of metal, softly glowing green, on two stilts were right in her line of sight. Next to the ring of metal, the portal as she assumed, was a little crafted pedestal with a bunch of open cables and electronics connected to the portal and more buttons than she felt was necessary.

“Reyka!” She bolted, running over to the pedestal. Shit. She was no engineer. No electrician. No expert. The only person that could possibly know how to work this was her uncle. As she stood there, her father, brother and uncle stopped in their tracks. “Easy there, honeybun”, almost a whisper from her uncle, “you don't know what you're doing there.” That sentence fired up so much rage in Reyka's chest. So much, that she felt the adrenaline rush through her whole body. “That's what you always say, right before you abuse me for your crazy believes! 'You don't know what you're doing' or 'it's for the sake of a better world' or stupid shit like that! Fuck you! Fuck you all!” She hovered her hand above a random button, and her uncle flinched. “Jackpot���, she whispered, a soft grin rushing over her face, “you've never been scared of using me for your experiments. But now that I'm in the mood for it, you don't want me to? You're a bunch of hypocrites. Always calling me the “chosen one”. What, just because I have grey eyes and the rest of the family doesn't? Ever heard of traits skipping generations? Or maybe, just maybe, HAH now wouldn't that be funny! Maybe Mom was such a whore, that she cheated?” Reyka's body was shaking. She didn't know if it was the adrenaline, fear, excitement or all of the above. Her hand twitched, inching closer to the button.

With a shaky breath she curled her fingers into a fist, ready to smash the button to pieces if she had to, to make it work, and screamed:”I hate you! I hate this family, I hate this world, I hate my life, I hate everything about existing! Guess what! It's a win-win! I push the button and everything blows up, I die and take you all with me, that's a win! I push the button, run through the portal and never see you again, that's also a win!”

“Reyka-”, her brother started, but got interrupted by her father.

“"If you push this button right now, no one knows what could happen!" Another laugh, this time out of desparation. "Anything, and I mean anything to be free from this rotten nightmare of a household!" Her fist flew downwards, hitting the button.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hey, i hope your doing okay. I’d like some advices on friendship. I know a girl, an ISTP whom i (ENFJ) met like almost 10 years ago. We were really close, she was my bestfriend and it lasted until some months, or even more like a year ? Until i felt she kinda replaced me with somebody else.

At first i thought i was just tripping, but tired of the constant overthinking i ended askip here if we were drifting apart, and she said no nothing changed on her side. So i was like okay, yet i didn’t feel completely relieved because i just had this impression that something was off. Like we didn’t talk as much as before, and she wasn’t calling me directly or privately her bestfriend anymore.

After a long, long, while of just bottling up my worries, after a day when i went to her home and we had a really good time, as she send me a message to thank me for the day and reaffirm how she considered me, i decided to tell her how i feel. I told her honestly that i was scared that she had replaced me with two of my friends but today, because i wasn’t over analyzing et overthinking i just realized it was all in my mind.

She then told me that she did not replaced me, but that there was no hierarchy between them and me we were just all on the same level but we had different relationships with her. And at the moment i was like okay i get it you right bestfriends aren’t that important etc etc ; but few days later i realized that it wasn’t the case at all. I felt bad. Really bad. Cause i never thought that would happen. It may be childish from me, i agree. I who always wished i could find a bestfriend, that one person with whom i could have that relationship, i just felt like all of our promises were merely words. I went through so much, so so much with that person, every ups and downs she was there, with me, and i was there, with her.

I’m not mad at her, cause she has every right to have the vision of friendship. And i can’t force her to change or so. But i’m hurt to see her saying things, doing things, that i thought were only between us. It’s like a cold shower everytime i witness it. And i try to reassure myself and to be okay with it but it’s so hard. Even though she told me she did not replaced me, that she saw me a little sister, that i had a special spot, no matter how hard i try i just can’t trust it. And i keep everything for me because i don’t even know what can I say.

---------------------

NFs are idealists at heart and it can take them to great places. However, idealism can become a problem when the gap between reality and expectation grows too large. It sounds like you have really high standards and expectations for this relationship, or perhaps for relationships in general. This can be a problem because it makes you too inflexible and perhaps too demanding of people. I wouldn't call you "childish" because such harsh self-criticism is unhelpful. I think it's more factual to say that your idea of relationships is too simple.

As a general rule, simple relationships tend to be superficial relationships. The deeper you want the relationship to be, the more complicated the relationship gets, because there are many more factors involved for it to be successful. It seems you are having difficulty accepting complexity and adapting to it. An important part of growing up is learning how to handle complexity, which should coincide with auxiliary development in ENFJs. You need to work on Ni development, otherwise, this problem of having unreasonable expectations due to oversimplified thinking is likely to become an unhealthy pattern in your relationships.

1) Refusing to accept facts is a big reason why people suffer needlessly in life. Gracious acceptance is the best way to handle the facts of life. Change is a fact of life. People change over time, which means relationships change over time. Some relationships ebb and flow in closeness over many years. Some relationships have a natural expiry date. Some relationships can be revived, while others can't. Some relationships are meant to stay superficial, while others can be made deeper with appropriate effort.

You are dwelling in the past, lost in what the relationship used to be or what you thought it was. What does this indicate about your expectations? You expect people to always be the same as they were or as you remember them. Is that a reasonable expectation? No, because you're denying the fact that change is inevitable in life.

You can acknowledge that change is sad, and it's healthy to grieve and mourn the loss of something lovely that has passed... but don't stubbornly keep insisting that something hasn't or shouldn't have changed when it already has, or else you will suffer. Once you can accept the facts of what the relationship is today, your expectations will be based in reality, and you'll be in a better position to adapt well to the change.

2) One factor that significantly affects the success or failure of relationships is compatibility. When two people approach the relationship with very different beliefs and values, they have to work a lot harder for the relationship to succeed. In this case, you two have very different ideas about friendship. Your concept of friendship looks like concentric circles; the more intimate the friend, the closer they are to the inner circle in the middle. Your friend's concept of friendship looks more like a straight line, where everybody is considered equal yet unique.

You're right to say that neither of you is wrong. It is merely a matter of preference, but the difference between you does decrease your compatibility. When this kind of conflict occurs in a relationship, you have a decision to make: Do you compromise or do you stand by your own preference? There is no right/wrong answer; there is only what you can live with in the end. The ideas/ideals/beliefs/values that you consider to be sacred shouldn't be compromised if it requires compromising your integrity, but some can and should be adjusted or changed when they're revealed to be unreasonable or unrealistic.

In this situation, you have to ask yourself whether you're willing to accept your friend's "straight line" idea of friendship. Yes or no? Either way, you're going to have to change and adapt. Can you accept being treated as equal to every other friend she has? If so, continue enjoying her company without worrying about anyone else, since the relationship between you two has no relation to the others. If you simply can't accept it, either because it's too painful or it goes against something you hold sacred, it's nobody's fault, but you'll have to reclassify her status in your circles of friendship and then change your expectations and behavior accordingly.

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

i don't wanna cause any more drama but have you read the new Spiegel article? About the friend of the daughter of another bandmate :/ and being 15 gosh. I don't know what to think anymore honestly.

Serious post alert, and it will get long too...

Please skip or block it as you feel needed. This story will not be graphic (at least i will try not to), and let me state up front that nothing bad ever happened to me personally, nor that i know of ever happening to people i know.

---

This ask i got right after the Spiegel article was published, which was right before the Brussels concerts. I deliberately didn't answer it at that time, because ofcourse the timing of the media wasn't a coincidence and i don't play that way, and i wanted the final concerts to be just about music, the band, and fun.

In short, the story is about a lady, now 28, who 13 years ago was (and possibly still is) best friends with a daughter of a bandmate of Till, even was in a band with her, she joined the family on a vacation in Germany, and met Till there. They talked, had some drinks, and kissed. Later they went beyond that. Her father found out and ended the situation. When she was grown up she reconnected with Till and they again had an affair. Two bandmates of Till are said to have known about the situation.

The story is under an alias, so if you feel that it's anonymously, i don't argue with that, but realistically, those of us who follow the band a little, know which bandmate and daughter would seemlessly fit that description, and although we don't know the person by name, i'm sure for people who are in their personal circles, it won't be a secret who it is. This is my assumption at least.

The story also does not involve any criminal act, because having sex at that age is legal in Germany (with consent, but consent can be given by anyone over 14 i think).

And ofcourse this is just the one story, no comments from Till, his lawyers or the band have been made, so at this point it is 'a story' and not more than that. We have heard similar stories or shards of it in the fandom over the years, but these too were never substantial. So what was it about this one...

Thing is...this story didn't shock or surprise me. It didn't have me rolling my eyes and thinking 'how could that even happen'.

And maybe more than anything my initial reaction surprised me. So i also took these last days to consider that, and figure out why that was.

-------

I think i figured out...and it's a couple of things, and none of it really have to do with Rammstein...

For those who don't know, i am rather older than the average tumblr user, and as this may be relevant in this case (generational gap?) i will state again what i usually say "i am younger than most of Rammstein (but not all)". What also may be relevant is that i grew up in west europe (netherlands), a very liberal country, sex wise (certainly when i grew up).

Firstly, different from some reactions i read on social media by fans (i don't read much about the Rammstein allegations, but i read some about this one), i am not mortified at the idea of a 15 year old having sex. When i was in highschool at 14/15 i had several friends who had adventures with guys on the weekends when they all went camping. I happened to be a rather naive and unexperienced teen, but my friends sure weren't (i learned much of my sex-ed from them, let me tell you). There boyfriends were usually teens themselves, although usually a few years older, but that sex happened was clear. Also, in the teeny magazines i read at the time sex was on many of the 'sent in questions' that the magazine answered.

(the Rammstein guys are about my age, i think when asked when they first had sex, they all mentioned being in their mid-teens, Richard a bit younger at 13)

I didn't have the sex myself as a teen, i stayed pretty much naive, unexperienced and unremarkable for a long time (maybe i still am), but also, i never did things *because* others did them, peerpressure never impressed me. If i didn't want something, i didn't do it (still don't). I didn't drink alcohol either as a teen, even though that too was pretty common for other teens.

In my early 20's i still didn't drink, still didn't have the sex, and was still naive, and unremarkable. What i was, was being very active in a youth movement (bit like 'Scouting' but a different one). Our youths varied from age 6 to 18, so where we as staff were in large part in our twenties, some of the teens in our groups were almost our own age. Some of the older youth also helped out occassionally as staff, and i have known many wonderful, active and dedicated teens (15, 16, 17 etc). Ofcourse when they helped we always made sure that there was an adult present, that they were never alone responsible for a group, but as there was sometimes only a few years between us, we did not see a problem in them having a beer with the rest of the staf when they helped out (just one, we always made sure no one would overdo, but we definitely weren't alcohol-free).

What also was part of the movement, was that we as staff had courses to teach us skills on things to do with our groups, you know: making fire, frying food without a pan, setting up a camp with tents etc etc. Staff members who were more experienced would be the tutorsand these courses were great fun, camping out in the woods, getting all grimy, long nights at a campfire, singing songs.

One of the tutors who was often involved was a guy who must have been in his mid 30's (maybe near 40) at the time, a great guy, very charismatic, well respected by everyone, because he knew his stuff and explained things very well. There was a great vibe about him, people loved hanging out with him, making things, building stuff, making better campfires. Everybody in the youth movement knew him, and valued him particpating in a course, a real people's person. What we also all knew of him was that he was a ladies man...he regularly had a new 'girlfriend', and even more snogs with not official girlfriends. He didn't flaunt it, but rumours were many, where he was seen heading of to a tent at the end of a campfire night with a woman. We all knew it, women informed eachother about that fact, so anyone getting involved was aware of his reputation.

Like i said, we as staf were usually all in our 20's at least, you had to be 18 to be official staf and to particpate in courses, so i never heard about him getting with younger women, but i realise now that with him being, let's say 35, a 20 year old, may have been a significant age gap in itself from an outsider point of view.

And for me being the naive, unremarkable person...it was amazing that this guy, when i met him on my second course, remembered my name, came up to talk, gave me a 7-up (remembered i didn't drink). Between planned tasks, he taught me as a sidenote, to make a fire with rubbing too sticks together (a pretty timeconsuming way, and not on the official courselist, we had easier ways to do so), which was a fun thing to know. Everybody always wanted to be near him and chat, but if he ended up next to me, he chatted with me too (that never happened to me normally 😊).

I never made a move, and he never did either...but realistically...if i had been interested in 'more', i don't doubt that he wouldn't have turned me away for a night in a sleeping bag..

Years later, i was already away from the movement because i had a busy job, there was a huge reunion, of people who had been staf in the past 20 odd years. So i went, just out of nostalgia, over 300 people attended and the guy was there too (with how much he did for the organisation, not a surprise), and believe it or not, he still remembered me, and we had a nice chat, before others came to talk to him and swooped him away.

I have lost touch with that crowd by now (work, also moved away), but if i met him now, and if he'd remember me 🌺 i'd love to have a bit of chat. But how many women he snogged or shagged back then...no idea...

----

When i read the story in Der Spiegel, unlike what i see many say as it being unbelievable...i totally get it. I was early 20's, but naive, more naive than my schoolnates at 15. Here is this guy who is easy to talk to, and makes you feel he's interested in what you say (me! never..). I didn't make a move, he didn't either, but had i maybe had a bit to drink, i might have (i sure crushed on him a bit).

And meeting up years later and being remembered, that makes a person feel good. Add a bit more alcohol...well...

Let's say i get it.

I hadn't thought about the guys in over 20 years, but when i read this, i did..

I've been wondering if a guy like that should feel skeevy to me now, with what i know these days, and how much moral has changed. And i don't know.

Do i think now someone should have intervened and have that guy not attend the courses...i think no...like i said, all adults, and we all knew his ways. But is that still an acceptable excuse nowadays. I don't know that either.

Should the guy have kept his youknowwhat in his pants and just had a steady girlfriend, possibly...but i never heard he forced anyone, ever. He just...had a way about him, women were as interested in him as he was in them.

So that's where i am...

If the story in Spiegel did happen, i wish it hadn't, but i'll react to it, when that's confirmed.

Until then, i'm still gathering my thoughts...and try to figure them out..

[twdmusicboxmystery]

My Re-Watch of Ghosts, Part 5

One last note, back to Carol as a chameleon. She is a chameleon, and I think she is in part chasing that rat in Diverged because the rat is, at least in part, representative of her. It exists in the walls, liminal spaces. It comes out, causes mayhem, then retreats. It’s not a coincidence the rat is in Daryl’s walls, as she does this to him most of all.

But I also think that the rat could represent Beth, because it also represents a hidden problem, something that lives in the walls and gnaws at your electrical wires, and you have no idea until suddenly one day the lights don’t come on. Beth is the rat scratching at the walls in Carol’s subconscious. This, too, is why we’re in Daryl’s house when this happens, because Beth is Daryl’s girl.

And I think that Carol and Beth, because of their unique connection in the coda, as not really being a part of the main timeline, and as the only two characters who are actually integrated into the Grady/CRM timeline, are uniquely connected to each other (and also to Rick, but not till later).

As I said before, I think you’re right, @twdmusicboxmystery, that Carol could be the one to find Beth, because she knows more than she realizes. She saw something at Grady that she possibly hasn’t accessed yet, due to trauma, memory loss, etc. She may have even received experimental treatment. We don’t know. But I think that as the unstuck character, she is the only one who could enter into Beth’s storyline and find her, because she inhabits these liminal spaces. But also like you said, because of who she is, and because of mistakes she’s made in the past, people, including Daryl, may not believe her.

When Jadis rescues Rick, she calls him a “B.” He’s then carried away by that helicopter. This is when he exits the A timeline and enters the B timeline. What ensues on the A timeline is then very chaotic and full of loss and change because it was supposed to be Rick’s, but he’s not there anymore. They have to find their way out. It’s just like, past its expiration date. All of them need to open their eyes and discover the CRM threat and in doing so learn or realize what the hell was actually going on all those years back in Atlanta and at Grady.

@twdmusicboxmystery

Love all of your thoughts! You have so many great connections and insights here. I hadn't thought to connect "I have eyes" to the blind theme. Or RJ sleeping and Judith's line to the resting theme. And all your insights on Carol are spot on! Love it!

@wdway:

This is absolutely wonderful. You gave me a lot to think about. And I've always had a hard time with Carol and how people are so blind to her misdeeds. You explained her character so well. It's like the analogy of the water glass So many people either see the glass half full or the glass half empty but the simple fact is it's half a glass of water.

You explain that with Carol she is right but her actions so many times are wrong. While I was reading as usual things kept popping in my head with a thought that I would mention them at the end but as usual when I got to the end I couldn't think of what I wanted to say. I will probably reread this later and come back tonight with some comments. I actually have a play date today!

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Oh, I meant to add something about the clove cigarette. That’s a great catch. I don’t think I ever would have noticed it. But it made me think of the cinnamon Daryl finds in the golf club and we see them both chewing on. I know cloves don’t = cinnamon, but I read up on clove cigarettes and they often have cinnamon and other spices in them. The two spices are also often used together or interchangeably.

Anyway, I don’t even have a super specific theory, other than it’s indicative of something about Beth. I’m the scene where he’s smoking it, as mentioned above, Carol is also wearing the pink bandage on her arm. So to me, the most obvious interpretation is simply that this “do you believe me” stuff between Carol and Daryl applies to Beth in some way.

@galadrieljones:

I totally see the connection. I totally saw a cinnamon stick which made me think of Still. And the fact it’s a clove cigarette is extremely notable because Daryl never smokes those. In fact like I said, after he comes back from the sanctuary he rarely smokes, tbh. It’s notable in Rendition when Pope asks him if he smokes because it seems like he hasn’t smoked in a while.

Cigarettes are showed as this commodity because Dwight has them. I just figured Negan’s guys took them during the raid, and then Daryl ran out. This makes me think about Pope and his lovely hand rolled cigarettes in his lovely leather case. I wonder where he got the tobacco? Not like it’s super hard to grow but when you’re busy raiding and pillaging it’s probably pretty hard to cultivate a tobacco crop.

Cinnamon is also an exotic ingredient which makes me think of the CRM. Daryl finds an old canister of cinnamon sticks at Pine Vista but if you wanted to actually have cinnamon you’d need to cultivate and probably import it from Asia, like Sri Lanka or Vietnam.