#it's just an incredibly niche use case

[nyansequitur]

contender for worst wish fulfilled of all time

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

The subtitles on the show I’m watching just turned “plastic polyhedrons” into “plastic poly Hadrians” which. What a truly insane group of words.

[fipindustries]

yet another thing i really like about dungeon meshi:

a lot of ink has been spilled on this idea that "people dont have autism/ADHD the problem is actually capitalism". usually paired with the notion that in agrarian societies being neurodiverget was actually super useful and that neurodivergent people would have been content with menial tasks like sorting berries or watcing over cattle, instead of the modern fallen state in which we find ourselves where we have to go to 9 to 5 jobs and sit in boring offices all day or whatever.

i wont rehash all the reasons this is clearly nonesense, instead what i will do is point out how brilliant ryoko kui was, yet again, for finding the way of eating her cake and keeping it too. dungeon meshi is clearly this power fantasy consisting of "what if your hyperfixation was actually extremely useful and was the thing that allowed you to thrive in this niche field". so in this case laios autism actually works almost as a superpower for him.

but then every single detail we come to learn about his past shows us how incredibly maladapted he was to the life he was born in. he couldnt meet his parent's expectations or those of his town, he couldnt fit in the army as a soldier, living on his own at a caravan he was malnourished, dirty, dressed in tatters and covered in fleas. and even after he manages to establish himself as an adventurer he gets constantly taken advantage by other people.

a lot of the reason why he is thriving in the story is because he is a) in the very specific niche of circumstances where his peculiarities actually are incredibly useful, in a dungeon filled with monsters where he doesnt have to deal with other people and b) surrounded by people who are either just as weird as he is or care about him deeply (or are consumate professionals like chilchuck)

[sunderwight]

Moshang AU where Airplane transmigrates into a demon NPC from one of the fanservice clans he created, rather than into Shang Qinghua.

So basically, there was a point in time where a lot of PIDW chapters were just Luo Binghe running around propelled by political plots and rebellions from the demon kingdoms, and most of that actually just ended up being Luo Binghe collecting wives with cute animal ears and tails and various abilities that Airplane used all of once and then completely forgot about. They covered the usual bases of the sexy cat girls, sexy fox girls, sexy bunny girls, sexy bird girls with wings, etc, before moving into more, erm, niche animal hybrid demon territory.

Which is all a roundabout way of explaining Cute Hamster Boy Shang Qinghua in his faithful-to-canon clan of Hamster Demons, whose primary skills include cute squeaking noises and digging abilities.

In the process of making his braindead written-in-a-panic-at-3-am "world building" on this front actually function in a real version of the setting, there has got to be a way for the otherwise-unremarkable fanservice demon tribes to actually survive the incredibly hostile environment which Airplane otherwise described, though. Like yeah sure when you're writing a book you can just say in one breath that the demon realms are incredibly brutal and cutthroat, and then in the next that this tribe of bunny girls with no visible skills at self-defense has existed here for thousands of years, but if you actually tried to set that up in some kind of a simulation the bunny girls wouldn't last one year, let alone one thousand.

In that case of Airplane's hamster tribe, their digging skills are so supernaturally prodigious that they are able to construct massive underground fortifications in otherwise hostile terrain. But that still doesn't solve all of their problems, because they still need to acquire food, and for that they mostly do have to go up to the surface. Some of their weakness is mitigated by sheer numbers -- they have a lot of kids to offset the high mortality rate. However, to further increase the survival rates, the hamster demons also try and make contracts with some of the local liege lords or ruling clans whenever they expand into a new territory. In exchange for protection, they send some of their extraneous family members out as servants, to either cement alliances through marriage (that high fertility is helpful and was indeed the crux of Wife #whatever's acquisition in canon) or to work as diggers or even high-level architects.

As the like, twelfth son of the Hamster Demon chieftain, this is Airplane's fate. On the one hand he's highly positioned enough to get an education, and his plot knowledge helps a lot. On the other hand, he's not high enough in the hierarchy to be kept around, so it's either go work for some other clan or else risk his neck doing missions on the hostile and deadly surface. Neither seems great, but Airplane would rather try his luck as a sycophant than a warrior.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on his mood when he thinks about it) when Airplane reaches sixteen years of age, it's around the same time that the Hamster clan's tunnels have expanded towards the Northern Desert. Airplane ends up being part of the "hiii~ pleasedon'tkillus let's be friends~" tribute to Mobei Jun's father.

Mobei Jun's father tosses him to Mobei Jun, so Airplane dutifully latches onto him in order to avoid being eaten by any of the other retainers. Airplane has been educated in various subterranean building skills and is under the impression that he's been given to MBJ in order to build him his own palace or something?

Everyone else assumes that the Hamster demon is a concubine.

Mobei Jun also thinks that's what he's been given, but he's too busy bristling in teenage offense at being given a concubine by his father to actually consider taking Airplane to bed. So when Airplane starts doing other things for him, he just sort of bemusedly lets it happen.

Gradually it becomes apparent that Airplane himself isn't interested in being a concubine. No. Clearly, this Hamster is gunning for future empress of the Northern Desert! How else would one explain all the lengths he's going to not only to win Mobei Jun's favor, but to secure his position and ensure his future rule? The system also wants Airplane to ensure the Abyss plot arc happens in the future, too, which means Airplane helps Mobei Jun win and instigate conflicts against the righteous cultivation sects too.

Obviously, Airplane wants power. Mobei Jun knows that if he gets an heir off of Airplane that will be that, the wily minx will use any children to secure his position, and MBJ is not convinced he could control himself well enough to prevent that sort of eventually. Airplane is fiendishly attractive, and he clearly knows it, and Mobei Jun is not sure if he wants to accept what increasingly seems to be the inevitable. He won't be a ladder for someone else's ambitions! But... as long as Airplane remains loyal to him, he will consider it. Even if Airplane never harbors any true affection for him, and simply considers him a means to an end. If, by the time he ascends the Hamster has not betrayed him or tried to elevate himself by flipping over this uncle's side, or seduced any of his other relatives or any of the highly-placed lords all salivating to steal MBJ's would-be empress, then Mobei Jun will grant his wish and make him the second most powerful demon in the North.

Airplane, meanwhile, just wants a snack and a nap. Maybe if he builds a secure enough fortress and amasses enough of an intelligence network and hoards a few advantages for himself, and figures out how to stop pissing off MBJ, he'll survive long enough to retire. Somehow.

[mari-lair]

Fascinated by Aoi's little lies to keep her cute girl image at the start of the manga. Here are my top 3 lies.

1. Her disinterest in scary stories.

Aoi adores scary stories, she loves sharing them with Nene because she too loves these kind of stories.

She gave Akane a hanitarou, which is a haniwa clay figure. These figures are associated with graveyards, death, and containers of souls. A very niche present from our 'cute gardener with no interest in scary stories'

During the spin-off, she was the one interested in Kukkuri-san.

Aoi is blushy while reading the book, and she is excited to play the game, raising her arms, and using '!' when the mokke moves the piece.

Bonus: She chose to watch a Jaws kind of movie with Akane. Not spooky, perhaps, but still a pick more inclined to the scary than the cute.

2. her interest in Teru

She uses Teru as an example of people she want to know more about, even adding this.

But I can guarantee 100% that Teru's book wouldn't be her first choice.

She only cares about Nene and Akane this early in the manga, she doesn't even know Teru is an exorcist, nor does she feel compelled to learn about him this early on, sparing Teru no thoughts during the grim Reaper arc (the arc where she is at her most honest).

He is a puppy to her, a convenient prince 'everyone loves', so she can just play along. It's a small lie but I find it interesting cause just like the 'oh i don't like spooky stories', this lie highlights just how high her walls are.

3. Love expert Aoi

This one is just funny. Self-explanatory too "Oh nene you need experience" Aoi look at yourself in the mirror, you are bitchless too.

And sure, your case is an incredible achievement of attachment issues instead of lack of rizz but still, you go Aoi, gaslight her.

[pippin-katz]

One Shots in Red, White & Royal Blue - Part 1: Alex's Room

Modern movies are fucking obsessed with jump cuts. Even scenes where it is completely unnecessary get cut to shreds. There's films I've seen where one, single sentence line got three jump cuts in it.

After watching Red, White, & Royal Blue over ten times now, I’ve noticed so many moments where they could’ve made jump cuts, but didn’t. There were moments where I was expecting it to cut because of how used I am to other movies cutting the shit out of scenes. They did not do that here, and believe me, it makes a difference.

Cuts temporarily remind the viewer that they're watching something scripted, professionally filmed, and edited. It's a subconscious feeling that most people probably don't even notice.

In case you're unfamiliar, a one shot in film is when a sequence happens without any cuts. One of the benefits of using them is the believability they add. Any amount of time could've progressed between cuts, like if they film a scene on two different days. When you see everything happening in real time, it just feels more real.

Red, White, & Royal Blue balanced their editing and camerawork incredibly well, and utilized one shots way more than I see a lot of other films doing nowadays. They use it for a variety of scenes, and it's done very well.

Example No. 1

From this moment, where Henry enters the room:

GIF by taylorz-nicholasg

To Henry pushing Alex onto the couch:

GIF by sheisraging

To when the sequence ends:

GIF by gay-bucky-barnes

is ALL ONE SHOT.

There are no camera cuts during that sequence, and there's a significant amount of movement and activity going on.

They are obviously aggressively making out, and crossing the room at the same time. Tracking this part might be common, but when they get to the couch, and Henry pushes him, I got this gut feeling that a jump cut was about to happen, but it didn't.

Instead, the camera rotates around to that side perspective, and lets Henry come back into frame and onto the couch in real time.

GIF by sheisraging

The camera doesn't change position until Henry moves down, which could've been a cut to Alex's face, but they opted to zoom in on him, keeping the shot connected.

GIF by sheisraging

This is not a small series of events to capture in one shot, and it means that Nicholas and Taylor had to memorize and perform the entire scene's blocking as a whole rather than in parts. If they mess up, they can't just say: "hey try that line again"

A one shot scene like this means that if you mess up at any point during the sequence, you can't use the take. You have to do it again from the beginning. That's the point of a one shot.

I think it's such a testament to Taylor and Nicholas' talent, skill, and dedication that they did such a long shot involving so much intimate, and difficult, choreography.

Breaking it down, they have to kiss for the first part, but it's not just kissing; it's aggressive kissing. Their eyes are closed, and they're grabbing at each other, while crossing the room. Taylor has to walk backwards. They need to have really good spatial awareness in order to move without hitting something or tripping.

Once they hit the couch, Nicholas has to undo the buttons on Taylor's shirt. If you've ever worn a button-down shirt, you know that sometimes you just struggle with those damn buttons; there's a moment in Paris where they joke about them. Nick has to undo them fast, and deliver his lines too. If he's too slow with the buttons, or they get stuck, take ruined.

Nick has to shove Taylor onto the couch. He has to be visibly forceful, but not knock him down so hard he falls off the couch, or land in a way that make it difficult for him to shift into where he's supposed to be. Nick also has to climb around onto the couch fast enough.

Obviously once they're on the couch, the difficulty comes in that they are being intimate, kissing and grabbing each other, and they need to remain in character. Then they have lines, and Nicholas has to get even more intimate by kissing his neck. He undoes another button or two and kisses his chest and down his stomach, all while delivering his lines correctly.

If either of them messes up a line, or breaks character for a second, or loses their balance, or anything, go back to the start, do it all again.

That is so much, and the two of them nailed every part of it. I still admire how they were able to trust each other and become confident in doing all that they do.

This being a one shot created a really incredible scene. It's fluid, and grounded in space and time. It's not the only scene that's drastically improved by the fact that it's a one shot, so I'll probably write more essays breaking down those scenes cause this movie has me in a choke hold.

Update: If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[idanit]

ok now i need to know about your niche country-specific jeeves AU

"Every valet takes great pride / in cooking what his husband likes" an edit of a makatka by @maidblues

(You've probably forgotten about sending this ask. I almost forgot I had a reply sitting in my drafts.)

This is incredibly niche and very hard to do for numerous reasons, but I've been thinking about a Polish Jeeves AU for a good while now. I'm not the best person to come up with the best way to cut almost all politics out from a story set in the 1920s in a country that has just become sovereign and is about to go through some further enormous transformations, so I'm not going to try very hard. Wodehouse's stories already take place in an idyllic sort of fantasy on the theme of interwar and postwar Britain, so I suppose a Polish AU would have to just lean into that even harder.

(Polish aristocracts lost their legal protections in 1921, but let's not think about it too much. Don't think about how you could possibly make "Comrade Bingo" work in a post-1920 Poland either. Etc., etc.)

So we've established that this would have to be some sort of barely recognisable fairytale Poland. But something in me is compelled by the idea of trying this out anyway because there are not a lot of wodehousian stories in Polish literature of the time. Not a lot of comedy without other genres mixed in in general. And one does wonder what it would look like.

Names are tricky. I want Bertram to be Bartłomiej or Bartosz (Bartek in the diminutive). @maidblues likes to give him the surname of Kogucik (rooster) and I toyed with the idea of giving him the Kur (another word for rooster) crest.

As for Jeeves's name, his case is more complicated because as far as I know servants in Poland were usually called by their masters by their first name, and the most common servant (as well as Polish in general) name would probably be Jan. So I'm tempted to make Reginald Jeeves a Jan Regulski or a Jan Reguła (reguła means "a rule").

This choice has the advantage of turning the "Jeeves?" / "Yes, sir?" exchange into "Janie?" / "Tak, jaśnie panie?". It rhymes. I find this amusing.

Servants at the time were overwhelmingly female, especially those who worked alone and for a single person/household, but we're going to ignore that.

Bertie is an aristocrat living in Warsaw, since it's the capital city, but his family is from some Mazovian dworek (manor house).

Aristocracy was not quite as much of an exclusive club as it was in Britain (some historians say it made up 10% of Polish society). Bertie probably says his ancestors fought at Grunwald, but he would likely bring up the Romanticism and the XVII century a lot as well, because they were as alive in the Polish public consciousness of the time as Middle Ages were in the mind of a certain kind of Englishman. Bertie could lean into something commonly called "the pride of the Sarmatians" (duma sarmacka).

Bertie's school is important. Everything depends on this, I think — Bertie's language, his friends, his club. Wealthy aristocrats did send their children abroad sometimes, so he could even have a typical British public school education even if he'd be unlikely to attend Eton and Oxford, specifically, but this feels like a cop-out, so I'm going to assume he was a student at some Polish university and not think about it too much lest I get caught up in the timelines of what university in what partition of Poland it would make sense for him to attend.

Bertie's way of speaking. My heart wants to make Bertie use some elements from the Warsaw subdialect because it's very fun and it would fit him, but regrettably, I think it's too working-class for him. I am fascinated by the idea of Bertie borrowing words from German and Russian in addition to French, though. He'd probably make use of some form of gwara uczniowska (student slang), too.

And Jeeves could know the Warsaw subdialect well, even if he would probably not use it while speaking to the members of the aristocracy (I'm pretty sure an early version of canon Jeeves spoke with a subtle Cockney accent, calling Bertie "guv’nor"). I wanted to make him a Warsaw local, perhaps with some family in the countryside, perhaps in the former Prussian partition, since I think the level of literacy was higher there and I need a way for Jeeves to have a chance of getting some education.

The Drones. There were no gentlemen's clubs, so I think the Drones would have to be a coffeehouse, a restaurant, or a szynk / pub called "Truteń"/"U Trutnia"/"Pod Trutniem". It's a significant change because they were not exclusive places, but it's the best I can think of. Coffeehouses in particular had a rich tradition as cultural places where people spent hours and hours on discussions. I think a Polish equivalent of a Drones Club could even serve as a tongue-in-cheek satire on artistic groups like Skamandryci. The Polish Drones would just have to take their gambling elsewhere. (@maidblues came up with another name for a Drones-like place that served food: Darmozjad. I love the pun — the word means someone useless, lit. someone who eats for free.)

As for the Junior Ganymede (Ganimedes), I think it would be a stowarzyszenie (club/society) without its own venue. Its members would probably meet at regular conventions. Here, I see an opportunity of some comedic nods to the tradition of "zjazdy", which in the centuries past were politically significant meetings of the aristocracy.

Bertie sings Mieczysław Fogg's songs.

Jeeves knows quotes from Mickiewicz and Słowacki (Polish Romantic poets) by heart.

Bertie is bi/multillingual enough to run off to Paris instead of New York City every now and then. Not quite putting an ocean between you and your aunt, but far enough for Ciotka Agata not to follow him.

I'm unlikely to ever finish writing anything for Jeeves in Polish, so, to finish things off, have this contextless excerpt from some draft of mine:

Mam na myśli tyle tylko, że podczas półtygodniowego pobytu, w którym jaśnie panowi udało się wpaść do sadzawki, zaręczyć, zostać pogryzionym, rozsierdzić Spodkowskiego i obrazić trzy stateczne matrony, choć nie dokładnie w tej kolejności, Jan ocalił mój ulubiony garnitur (bez krawata), zgrabnie mnie odręczył, opatrzył i odwiózł do Warszawy, a skroni jego nie zrosiła nawet mgiełka potu. Wspaniały człowiek. Obsypałem go, rzecz jasna, pewną ilością marek, ale wydawało mi się to zgoła niewystarczające. Dusza moja śpiewała, wolna jak ptak bez obrączki, a mój wybawca miał z tego tylko trochę świstków papieru, które i tak natychmiast wyśle rodzinie spoza stolicy — znałem go doskonale.

[greenglowinspooks]

(DCxDP) Drowning in formaldehyde (Pt. 1)

—

Tw: one instance of canon-typical violence (DC), vivisection mention

Will be crossposted to AO3 eventually

(Prologue) - (Pt. 2)

(Subscription post/masterlist)

—

Danny has been working for Mr. Cobblepot for over a month now.

The first few weeks he was in the Penguin’s company, he couldn’t do much of anything. Instead, Mr. Cobblepot made sure that he was well-rested and beginning to recover.

Danny cried a lot in the first week that he was there.

He cried when he ate for the first time in years; the GiW had kept him on IVs and a feeding tube, so they wouldn’t have to move him from his surgical table.

He cried when he was given his own room to stay in, when he was brought clothes to wear, when he was given a bodyguard to protect him.

He cried when Mr. Cobblepot’s doctors told him that the damage to his vocal chords was likely permanent, and that he would never sound the same again. That he would find it hard to speak at any volume above a whisper.

Apparently, he had a lot more damage to him than he had thought.

The doctors said that the scarring in his brain stem suggested his entire brain had been removed and had regrown. Danny couldn’t really disprove that, and it did line up with a pretty substantial gap in his memory, but if that was the case then why couldn’t his voice recover too?

The scarring and incredibly new tissue that showed up in scans of several other parts of his body suggested that the GiW had done the same thing with most of his organs, as well as a few limbs, and all of the fingers on his right hand.

Danny could remember that. He just didn’t want to.

Perhaps it was the feeling of pity that kept Mr. Cobblepot so understanding of Danny’s slow recovery. That didn’t really matter much, though; Danny’s energy was focused on keeping his place here, ensuring that Mr. Cobblepot didn’t decide he was no longer worth the effort.

As it turned out, there was an easy enough solution to that.

Danny was the only one who knew how to properly operate and modify the weapons and inventions stolen from the GiW.

And so, Danny had a niche he could occupy. He could be useful, useful enough that Mr. Cobblepot couldn’t get rid of him, even if he wanted to.

And, as it turns out, Danny remembered quite a lot of the theories he heard while he was on the cutting board.

As soon as he had enough muscle control of his arms to do so, he was working away at the machinery created by the GiW and his parents.

No, not his parents.

Doctors Madeleine and Jack Fenton.

Regardless of their creators, he was able to understand them quite intimately.

Maybe it was because the ectoplasm flowing through the weaponry was his own, maybe it was because he had nothing to listen to for three years other than the excited chatter of his vivisectionists as they cut him open. Maybe it was because they were both simple weaponry without a purpose.

Danny found working on the machines soothing in a way that nothing else was.

The smell of oil and grease, the sounds of mechanical clanking and metal joints squealing, the feeling of cold steel beneath his fingertips.

The first thing he did to the machines was replacing the paint, from shiny white to a matte black. That way, they were recognizable as his own modified creations.

It was only a bonus that he didn’t catch his reflection in the metal surfaces this way.

Still, his reflection was starting to become more familiar to him. It was still strangely off-putting to see, but his face was beginning to plump out from consistent eating, and his skin was beginning to lose its unhealthy pale tone, going back to a more natural pinkish color.

His eyes still looked devoid of life, but that could be ignored as long as he didn’t look at himself for too long.

Danny sighed, leaning back in his chair as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He was working on modifying the ectoblasters so that they could properly hit humans, as per Mr. Cobblepot’s orders.

He probably should feel some sort of moral conflict over it, but really, Danny couldn’t find it in him to care. Maybe it was some sort of deep internal flaw, or maybe it was because he knew that they wouldn’t be shot at anyone without blood on their hands. Either way, he didn’t have any qualms with what he was doing.

As Danny reconnected the circuitry within the gun, the indicator lights on the side of the muzzle blinked to life, a familiar neon green.

Danny would have to change that color too, he thought. Maybe red would be nice instead, or an icy blue?

He was pulled from his thoughts by the door to his temporary workshop opening. Danny looked up, and smiled when he saw that his bodyguard was the one standing in the doorway.

The man, known only as Derringer, was 6’2”, built like a tank, and known for his love of unusual firearms. He was also a big fan of card games, and had been teaching Danny how to play Blackjack during their meals.

He gently closed the door behind him, strolling into the workshop.

Danny hopped out of his seat, hugging the man tightly. Derringer laughed, patting Danny on the back as he clung to him like a koala.

“Good to see you too, kid,” the man said, his deep voice rumbling in his chest, “you just about done in here?”

Danny nodded, letting go of the bodyguard. He picked up the gun on the desk, handing it to Derringer, and pointed to the target resting in the far corner of the room.

Derringer glanced down at Danny, shrugging before aiming the gun.

He pulled the trigger, and a large scorch mark appeared in the center of the target.

Derringer whistled appreciatively, walking over to inspect the damage.

There was a deep dent in the center of the metal target, around an inch in diameter, and a large scorch mark surrounding it. The metal of the dent was white-hot, and the area around it was somewhat warped.

“That’s real nice, kid,” Derringer said, “don’t know how you do it.”

Danny grinned, baring his teeth at the man. He smiled back, ruffling his hair.

“The boss is gonna go forward with the Arkham raid soon, so long as your guns are ready,” he said, “he’s eager to try them out for real. You think you’re up to talking to him?”

“Yes,” Danny signed, nodding to the man.

“Good,” Derringer signed back.

Mr. Cobblepot, not wanting Danny to be limited in his speech by the damage to his vocal chords, had ensured that all of the people who interacted with him knew at least the basics of ASL.

When he wasn’t working on the ectoblasters, Danny was practicing his ASL with a dedicated tutor, or with Derringer, who learned the language when his mother had gone deaf.

“Can I eat first?” Danny signed, “I forgot to.”

“You forgot, or you didn’t want to leave your work?” Derringer asked, signing as he spoke, the corners of his eyes crinkled with amusement, “and yeah, the boss wants to talk to you in thirty minutes. You’ve got plenty of time before then.”

“Thank you,” Danny signed, “let’s go.”

“Hey, just a sec,” Derringer said. His face had dropped into something unusually serious.

Danny nodded, tilting his head as he signed a quick “what’s wrong?”

“You’re a good kid. Even after what you’ve been through, you’re…you’re a really sweet kid,” Derringer said, looking away. “But you…you can’t keep being sweet to everyone. You gotta act tough, alright?”

“Why?”

“You just…” Derringer sighed, combing a hand through his thick, curly hair, “a lot of the guys think that you’re too weak to be here. They’re calling you the Penguin’s pet project, and the problem is that they’re not really wrong. You gotta be scarier to survive, alright? Gotham’ll eat you alive if you don’t. Just make up a persona and roll with it.”

Danny nodded slowly, processing his words for a moment.

“Like a mask?”

Derringer laughed, a bittersweet smile on his face.

“Yeah, like a mask. Just don’t start fighting crime while you’re at it.”

“Okay,” Danny signed, his movements slow. “I can do that.”

“Good on you, kid,” Derringer said, ruffling his hair once more, “now let’s go get lunch.”

The two of them ate quickly, Danny’s mind on Derringer’s advice the entire time.

He was right, and Danny knew it. He’d seen the way that some of Mr. Cobblepot’s men had looked at him.

He wasn’t anywhere near big enough to pull off the looming intimidating look that Derringer did; his doctors back in Amity had told him that he would grow to be over six foot, but his time in the GiW seemed to have stunted his growth significantly. He was only around 5’6”, and it seemed that he was going to stay that way.

In the same way, he wasn’t nearly frightening looking enough to pull off the terrifying stares of the smaller individuals working under Mr. Cobblepot. He just couldn’t get the glare right; his face would always fall back to a blank, dead stare.

Though, maybe if he played into that…

A few minutes before they had to leave, Danny excused himself to go to the restroom. He stared into the mirror, looking into his cold, dead eyes, and let his face drop.

When he adjusted his stance, and kept his eyes a bit wider than usual, he looked downright unnerving.

Danny had already noticed that most of his mannerisms were…unusual, after his stay at the GiW base. Put simply, he had forgotten what it was like to be a human.

He had noticed that most of the people around him would avoid being in his presence, and had begun mirroring their body language as much as he could to seem more normal.

Maybe, though, it would be better for him not to.

He could lean into the whole thing. An unstable young adult, experimented on by the government for years.

Danny looked into the mirror, and wide, icy eyes stared back at him.

Danny left the restroom. Derringer turned to greet him, jolting when he did. After a moment, he nodded.

“That what we’re going with?”

“Yes. Is it good?”

“Yeah. Freaky. Gonna take some getting used to, but yeah. Now,” he said, getting up from his spot at the break room table, “let’s go see the boss.”

Danny felt anxiety bubbling up in his chest, his entire body beginning to twitch. If Mr. Cobblepot didn’t approve of the weaponry, or if he thought they were underwhelming, would he be thrown out? Would he be tortured again, or killed?

Danny shivered when they came to a stop in front of the door to Mr. Cobblepot’s office. Failure wasn’t an option. He had to make sure this went well.

“You’ll do great, kid,” Derringer whispered, pushing the door open.

Mr. Cobblepot had been talking with a few other people, but their conversation died out when Danny and Derringer entered the room. Danny’s skin crawled.

“Ah, Danny! Just the person I wanted to see,” Mr. Cobblepot said, a large smile on his face, “Do you have one of your guns with you?”

“Yes,” Danny signed, nodding.

“Wonderful. I was just telling my associates here about your work. Do you mind giving a demonstration?”

“Where should I shoot? Do you have a target?”

Derringer was quick to translate. Mr. Cobblepot nodded, gesturing for a hired hand in the corner of the room to pull out a small wooden board, holding it up in the air.

Danny paled. He would definitely burn the man’s hands if he hit the target, even if he aimed for the furthest corner of the board.

Still, he was more terrified of disappointing Mr. Cobblepot than he was empathetic towards the man, so he drew a blaster from the holster on his leg and aimed carefully.

The blast hit the center of the board. The man holding it howled in pain, dropping the target and drawing his hand close to his chest. The nauseating smell of burning flesh filled the room.

Danny breathed shakily, in and out.

Mr. Cobblepot, for what it was worth, looked like he couldn’t possibly be happier. He and the others inspected the board on the ground closely, ignoring the hired hand as he ran out of the room, still cradling his damaged hand.

A large hole had been blown into the board, and a good portion of it had been incinerated.

“Look at that, ladies and gentlemen! I told you that Danny would deliver, and deliver he did! Imagine if that had been a person instead! Danny, what would you say would happen?”

Danny paused, trying to wince when he realized that the question wasn’t hypothetical, and Mr. Cobblepot actually wanted an answer.

“It would give them S-E-V-E-R-E burns,” Danny finger spelled the word that he didn’t know the proper sign for, “mostly S-U-R-F-A-C-E. It can’t P-E-I-R-C-E, because there is no bullet, just energy.”

Derringer translated for him.

Mr. Cobblepot frowned, and Danny frantically continued, “but it can be L-E-T-H-A-L! Burns on the head kill fast. Burns on the body make S-H-O-C-K, and kill. Strong I-M-P-A-C-T, too.”

“So they do still kill, just not instantly?”

“Yes,” Danny signed, “they’re fast. They hurt bad. Bad way to die, hurts a lot.”

“Well,” one of the other men in the room piped up, “I guess he’s not completely hopeless.”

“Of course he isn’t,” Mr. Cobblepot replied, fixing a terrifying glare onto the man, “it was my idea to bring him in, after all.”

“Danny,” Mr. Cobblepot said, turning his attention back to him, “we’re going to be collaborating with these fine individuals in the future. I’m going to need twenty guns ready for use in a week. You can handle that, can’t you?”

Danny nodded frantically.

“What kind?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Mr. Cobblepot said, waving his hand dismissively, “semi-automatic is preferable, but handguns and shotguns also work. Just make sure they work perfectly.”

The room was silent for a moment.

“Well, that’s all. You can leave now, and I’ll finish discussing the details with my associates.”

Danny nodded, signing him a quick “thank you, goodbye,” and slipped out of the room alongside Derringer.

They made their way back to Danny’s workshop in silence. Once they were inside, Derringer heaved a heavy sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

“You really think you can make that many guns that quickly, kid?”

“Yes,” Danny replied, “but I need your help.”

Derringer groaned, a smile on his face.

“Of course you’re putting me to work. I should’ve expected it. Now, what do you need me to do?”

“Well, first, hold this…”

—

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for knowingly having a sex repulsed person view very graphic pornography?

This one might be uncomfortable to read so CW for mentions of adult content and stalking, omitting graphic details where I can. I (24m) am currently being stalked by someone (22x) I had a falling out with about a year ago. I'd rather not go into the details here, but part of the stalking includes that I've gotten a heads up that they have recently uncovered and have been routinely checking on one of my social media accounts (not tumblr) against my permission and wishes. This account is an 18+ account, and without getting too graphic I do post lewd content on it. I only have a small number of followers (20-something) who are almost all mutuals. Due to the enshittification of the platform, remaking my account or rebranding my account is risky, and I'm not able to private it the way I currently use it.

Most of the people in my circle on this platform post incredibly graphic irl kink content, usually involving very niche/unsanitary/seemingly-dangerous/or physically intense scenes. I really haven't, keeping most of my posts to just text or artwork, just because I prefer keeping my account low key, but it really wouldn't be out of place for me to share this kind of more graphic irl content and it wouldn't impact my actual followers if I did. I know my stalker is extremely sex repulsed, but clearly they have been powering through with the stuff I have been posting. I'm pretty sure if I started posting more graphic shit though, it would be like giving toxic sour candy to a medieval peasant. I'm sure if I did, they would leave that account the fuck alone, or at the very least it would be extremely painful for them to keep tabs on it. It's giving me a bit of a moral dilemma though. I'm not opposed to posting more graphic content, but in this case I would really only be doing it to "get back" at my stalker... And knowing that doing this could send them into a really bad panic attack or mental breakdown has be hesitant if it would make me the asshole.

[the-smut-analyst]

Making Characters That Make Sense

Walk-through character template & "how to" guide for writing complex, original protagonists.

If you google "character templates for writing", you'll get a lot of very basic examples that read like a grocery list: eye colour, hair colour, skin colour, positive traits, negative traits, etc.

And sure, filling out this kind of template isn't completely useless - but it's also not particularly useful, either. Choosing whether your protagonist has blue eyes or green eyes isn't going to determine whether readers connect with them or not.

Instead, I prefer to use the below template:

There's some fairly left-of-centre categories here, so in this blog post I'll be creating a character from scratch to demonstrate what each section means and how to use the template effectively.

Primary Goal & Raison D'Être

Fantasy Romance is having a bit of a tournament-to-the-death moment right now, with Hunger Games-inspired stories like Fourth Wing, Throne of Glass, The Savior's Champion, and The Serpent and the Wings of Night in high demand - so that's what we're going to work with in today's blog post.

The story premise and primary goal of the protagonist are almost always interconnected. In this case, the story premise is a tournament to the death - and the character's main goal is to win that tournament, obviously.

But where there's room for some originality is in the raison d'être. This loosely translates to "reason for being" or "purpose". It's the why of it.

For example: what motivated this character to risk their life by entering such a tournament in the first place?

It is sometimes helpful to look at similar stories when thinking about this category. Not so you can copy their protagonist's motivations - but so you can do something different.

The whole selfless-self-sacrifice thing, for example - that's done. At least in relation to this particular sub-genre. We can do better for our hypothetical Maera Mystfang character.

Actually, let's really turn the trope on its head and make her raison d'être incredibly self-centred.

Already, this is character is shaping up to be something a little bit different within the niche of tournaments to the death. Which goes to show how putting a little bit of thought can go a long way, even with something as simple as identifying your character's initial purpose.

Primary Obstacle

Every protagonist needs a goal - and every goal needs an obstacle. This is what gives the story some tension and keeps readers turning the page.

An obvious choice of obstacle for this hypothetical character, since we're dealing with a fantasy romance, would be that Maera starts to develop feelings for one of her fellow competitors.

This concept has definitely been done, but that's okay. Not every section of this list has to break the mould. Tropes exist for a reason and it is totally okay to lean into them sometimes.

However, just for funsies, I'm going to try and put a slightly different spin on this one too.

Instead of the obvious "I love one of the people I'm meant to kill", let's make Maera's (previously dormant) conscience be the problem. Her reasons for entering the tournament may have been self-motivated, but as she gets to know her fellow competitors - admires some of them, even - she starts to second guess those reasons.

Core Traits

A lot of character templates will divide personality traits into positives and negatives - but I don't think this is particularly helpful. It is far too one dimensional - not to mention unrealistic. The key components of someone's personality aren't usually so black and white.

In fact, most core traits are both good and bad at the same time - it just depends on the context.

Instead of being wholly positive or negative, try to think of three core character traits that can serve as two sides of the same coin, with both positive and negative implications to each.

For Maera, I've given her these core traits:

Self-reliant;

Rebellious; and

Good-humoured.

Her self-reliance means that she is incredibly capable - but it's also the cause of her selfishness. She's always had to look after herself, so she expects others to do the same.

Her rebellious attitude means she isn't willing to accept the status quo. But at times she is also a rebel without a cause, causing trouble just for the fun of it.

Her good sense of humour means she is fun to be around, but she also tends to not take things as seriously as she should.

Thinking of core traits in this multi-faceted way not only adds realistic complexity, but it also sets you up well for showcasing character development and growth throughout the story.

Fatal Flaw & Character Arc / Growth

You've probably read negative reviews that throw around terms like "Mary Sue" or "Gary Stu". People tend to be over-zealous with these terms, especially for Mary Sue, but the gist of it is that the character in question is "too perfect".

They're the chosen one, they're good at everything, all the boys like them, etc.

Some characters can get away with this just fine. Look at Aragorn. He's the ultimate Gary Stu but I still swoon every time he opens those damn doors. You know the scene I'm talking about.

Ooft.

But for the most part, you want to incorporate a fatal flaw into your protagonists - because this is what gives them room to grow.

And, no. "I was born to be King but I don't wanna" does not count as a fatal flaw.

Instead, think bigger. Think worse. Think about where your character starts versus where you want them to end up. Think about how you want the events of the narrative to change their world view - or even their initial goal.

For Maera, her fatal flaw is pretty obvious, given her initial motivations for entering the tournament. Similarly, her growth/arc is linked to her primary obstacle, which is developing a conscious.

Her journey throughout this hypothetical story might be learning to appreciate how her past shaped her, while also acknowledging that there are things she can do to ensure others don't have to go through what she did. By being shown acts of kindness, she learns to appreciate their value.

First Impression

Now that we've covered all the "big picture" stuff, let's get into some of the smaller details that give your character some texture.

The first impression category is a hypothetical exercise where you image how your character might appear to a room full of strangers. In dual, multi, or omniscient POVs, you might even get the opportunity to include this impression somewhere in the story.

But even for first-person narratives, it is still worth thinking about, because it will help to inform how other characters interact and respond to your protagonist (at least at first).

For Maera, I've written this first impression as: a fun person to have a few drinks with - so long as you keep a close eye on your wallet.

From this description, we can guess that Maera probably likes to have a good time, but also comes across as untrustworthy. Whether that impression is deserved or not is up to you, as the author, to decide.

There's also a lot of deeper directions you can take this first impression category, too. Like if most people react to Maera this way, but one particular character doesn't, then your readers are going to sit up and pay extra attention during that interaction. Especially when that person reacting atypically is the future love interest.

Spirit Animal

Ah, this one is a fun one!

I always encourage my authors to assign a "spirit animal" to their characters - especially when they're doing multi-POV.

There are two main reasons for this:

It will allow you to assign some very distinct adjectives and verbs with that particular character; and

It is an opportunity to flesh out some additional character traits beyond the core traits.

For Maera, I've chosen "spider" because she is solitary by nature, opportunistic, and patient.

But, more than that, I also like the idea of Maera being the kind of person who knows how to watch and wait. While her first impression might be "here for the good times", her joking façade is actually a mask she wears while carefully observing others.

For example:

Her words were laced with venom. She crawled her way across the rooftop. At some point, weaving lies had become more of a past time that a necessity. Her thoughts were a tangled mess. She didn't bother to conceal her predatory gaze. Inch by cautious inch, she crept forward. Her sanity was already hanging by a thread. If there was one thing she knew how to do, it was spin a good story - truth be damned.

I've never outright compared Maera to a spider in these examples, nor have I made it blatantly obvious that that's what I'm doing. But by peppering these kinds or words throughout the story, I'll be able to subtly create a very distinct kind of impression for her character.

For comparison's sake, let's assign "cat" to the love interest. Examples of possible words to consider in this instance might be:

He clawed his way through the bushes. "What are you doing?" he hissed. The comment had some bite to it, that was for sure. He slunk away into the darkness. His still, unwavering focus was unnerving. He prowled towards her. In a few quick, agile steps, he'd made it across the parapet. He yawned and stretched out beside her.

Of course, not every single word you use in association with a character needs to be related to their spirit animal. But keeping a certain type of animal in mind - and finding opportunities to throw in some subtle messaging through language choice - can be beneficial on so many levels.

It helps to distinguish your characters from one another through the kind of language you use to describe them - but it's also just really, really fun way to add some bonus texture to your characters. Giving your readers some little easter eggs like this is never a bad thing.

Love Language

If you're unfamiliar with the concept of the five basic love languages, then here's a quick visual overview:

Love languages aren't a consideration that's specific to romance. They're important for friendships and familial relationships too.

Because thinking about what your protagonist values most in love is going to tell you a lot about who they are. Especially when you take the question deeper and think about why this is something they value.

For Maera, I've chosen "Acts of Service" because this ties in quite well to her character arc.

In terms of Maera's why, I could easily go with "because this was how she was shown love as a child" - and this is a good enough option most of the time. However, since her love language is very much tied into growing out of her fatal flaw, then I actually want to do the opposite.

Maera winds up valuing acts of service because this is something she craved - and wasn't given - as a child. She had to do things the hard way instead. Hence why she ends up appreciating the kindness of others so much. Such generosity is new to her - and precious.

Conflict Response

This is potentially one of the most overlooked character components. Conflict and tension is central to story telling, yet there is so little attention given to creating authentic, original responses to conflict.

The way I see it, there are three main considerations in regards to conflict response:

How your character reacts in the moment;

The unhealthy methods they use to deal with the aftermath; and

The healthy methods they use (or discover) to self-sooth.

When faced with conflict, Maera's immediate reaction is to antagonise. She doesn't like to back down and enjoys creating trouble.

However, in the aftermath, the conflict affects her more than she lets on. She stews on it - and her solution to that is to get drunk until she can forget about it completely.

But even though she sometimes forgets it, Maera has a more healthy coping mechanism at her disposal. When she is surrounded by nature - in the forest, by the sea, whatever - it calms her.

In addition to identifying your protagonist's various responses to conflict, it is also helpful to think about why. Again, this is a great opportunity to insert something unique into their character backstory.

With Maera, for example, let's think about why she finds nature so soothing. Perhaps, amidst a very bleak childhood, one of her fondest memories is of picking grapes in a vineyard.

Perhaps the elderly woman who owned the vineyard was very rude and abrupt - but also quite kind to Maera in her own way. Maybe she would sometimes stitch up Maera's clothes or feed Maera a hearty, meaty dinner - even though she didn't have to.

If you're struggling to think of a real, tangible, unique memory such as this - then it's always helpful to go back to the old classic of write what you know. Think of a real life moment or memory - something that's stuck with you, no matter how simple - then adapt it to your character.

To create this vineyard example, I simply drew on my experience of picking strawberries with my Nonna after school.

Mentor / Idol

I could write an entire thesis on mentors. Or, more specifically, the "death of the mentor" trope - both in its literal and metaphorical interpretations.

But, for the sake of brevity, let's save that sh*t for another time and focus on what's important for a basic (yet complex) character template. And that is:

The Formative Mentor (past); and

Transformative Mentor (present).

The formative mentor (or idol) is someone who influenced your character prior to the events of the novel. Sometimes they're a character the reader will meet, or other times, they're long gone before the novel even begins.

The transformative mentor is a much looser term. It doesn't necessarily have to be a traditional mentor character, but rather it is a character who heavily influences or changes your protagonist throughout the events of the novel.

For Maera, I want her earliest idol to be a random female sell-sword who she crossed paths with. Prior to meeting this sell-sword, Maera was living without hope for a future, surviving on scraps and petty crime.

But after seeing an independent and moderately wealthy sell-sword in her local tavern, Maera got a glimpse into the kind of life that might be possible if she learned to fight. With the right kind of skills, she might be able to earn some decent money for a change - and travel the world.

This is an example of how "mentors" don't always have to be a wise wizard who oversees your protagonist's training and education. Young minds are impressionable - and even distant figures can have a lasting impact.

Just look at all the women who cite Legally Blonde as the reason why they were drawn to law. Elle Woods wasn't even real - but for plenty of young girls, she made an impact.

Similarly, your protagonist's "present" mentor or idol doesn't necessarily have to be a wise wizard either. It can simply be someone who motivates them to change their world view or strive to be better.

In romance, it is more than acceptable to have the present mentor coincide with the love interest - especially in standalone enemies-to-lovers. I know this seems counter-intuitive, since the word "mentor" implies a power imbalance, but it makes more sense if you readjust your definition of mentor to be "inspires change".

However, for Maera, I kind of like the idea of pairing her up with a love interest who shares some of her flaws. I vibe with the idea of making him a bit self-interested too, although for different reasons.

So in her example, I've listed the present mentor as a selfless secondary character. The way I would envision this going is Maera and the love interest team up early on - but somewhere along the way a secondary character saves them both. They're both heavily influenced by this character before this character sacrifices themselves. The aftermath of this incident rattles both Maera and her love interest, and serves as the spark for growth.

I hope you found this template - and very long explanation - useful!

[letstrythisout4]

There is overlap in these traits but when it comes to their thing, their niche.

James Sirius is the artist (in every sense and medium)

Albus Severus is the academic

Lily Luna is the athlete

James was the kid to draw on the walls. His paint hand prints were everywhere. Used the pots and pans as a drum set until Harry bought him one of his own and set it up in an extra room. The room quickly became filled with loads of instruments, so many that they eventually expanded the interior of the room. The room had instruments, paints, markers, canvases, posters, fake walls to be spray painted on, a recording area, shelves to be filled with vinyls, sketchbooks, and journals. He writes novels, short stories, and poems. He knits and crochets (Molly for sure taught him). He creates and paints pottery. Anything creative James has a hand in it.

Albus Severus who is so incredibly book smart. Starts reading absurdly young. Cares so much about learning about all there is to know that Ravenclaw is a genuine consideration of where he should be placed. Spent almost all his time growing up outside looking to the stairs for Astronomy studies. Loves to be babysat by Neville because Neville has an amazing greenhouse and is always willing to explain what every plant is, its properties and how it's used most frequently. And then in the muggle world (because I’m a firm believer that Harry makes his kids go to muggle school) number one student, the one kids go to whenever the teacher is busy. Doesn’t really have a best subject but he likes Math and Science the most. 

Lily Luna does every sport, every damn one. In her pre-k some girl is talking about gymnastics and Lily is like “I want to do that” and Harry is already used to giving into his kids creative endeavors so he immediately signs her up and she is a natural. Then it just expands, she is on almost every single team that her school offers. Swim, track, cross-country, volleyball, skating (ice and you know regular skateboarding), snowboarding, softball, american football, soccer, every single sport. From the age of 4 every single week the entire Potter family is at some sort of competition or showcase to support the baby of the family. Quidditch isn’t even a question, girl is one of the -if not the- most successful Chaser to come out of Hogwarts.

All of them are very successful in their fields, the Potters have several display cases of trophies, ribbons and plaques with all their names. And while they are all talented in parts of each other's fields, its very select you know? James is a chaser and Albus is a seeker, and considered two of the best of this era in Hogwarts. Albus sketches the plants that he discusses in his notes, and Lily has been known to doodle on her essays. And Lily and James are considered some of the best of their years. All of them are very powerful and talented but they dominate- no competition- in their respective fields.

[leviafin]

Society and being Other

This was going to be a reblog of another post, but it got long and offtopic so it can have its own post now.

I don't hate or even dislike humans, and I don't think I fear them as a whole as much as I fear people or society as a whole. I partially identify as human--well, I used to be one? Still kind of am? Complicated, and not really the point. But I think an important thing to recognise is that any species has the capability to do harm. Keeping that in mind definitely keeps me away from misanthropic mindsets--something I'm very keen to avoid falling into the habit of. It kind of keeps me grounded, in a way. If we lived in an elven society, or a strictly alterhuman society, it might still be the same--or there'd be some other niche thing society hates and the cycle would likely repeat. I'm not above anyone for being nonhuman, there's just a different perspective around being in the minority.

But I think there's something to be said about the fear of being outside societal norm and still having to live in a society you cannot trust. See, people of all species tend to have a lean toward being scared or distrustful of things they don't understand. This isn't true all the time, but if you introduce something new and foriegn to any creature, they'd be right to be a bit wary in case it's a threat. People of all kinds can be much the same, and in some cases it can lead to... less than kind actions. And me? Well, in both of my sources I'm a human-turned-monster that people didn't really like the concept of, so lets just say that I'm very used to society and its treatment of those who are "other".

But now I'm here, in a human body again. I look human, act mostly human, but I'm still so many things that society just Does Not Like. I'm queer, I'm internally nonhuman, I'm a member of a system, and I'm disabled. It's why I love the label "alterhuman", it's a coverall for lots of little things and groups that might not have much of a voice if not united.

But the fear is absolutely there, despite having community online. The knowledge that I am different to most of those around me. The feeling that even if there were another nonhuman amongst those around me, they would likely slip under the radar to me as much as I would to them--we're both likely hiding ourselves more than we'd like to. It's being lonely with people who understand you sitting in the same room, never speaking to each other. The idea that not only am I visibly "other" in a sense of looking trans and using mobility aids, but I'm even more "other" than most would realise--and we already deal with enough for what is visible. The knowledge that some people really, really do not like those who are different. It is scary to think about.

But.. I've kind of decided to take the route of being open anyway. Personal decision that may or may not be a bit stupid, but it's my choice in the end. Feeling trapped gets better if you open yourself up in safer spaces and break down your own walls that are keeping you in. I've met IRL nonhumans because of this, who we wouldn't have known are nonhuman otherwise. It's a struggle sometimes of course, but it's working for us to some degree. A little bit of unmasking here and there, and then sometimes those others around you can look at you and go "you're like me", and that's incredibly valuable to us.

This turned into more of a rant than I intended, but... Yeah. Hopefully my point is clear, hah. It's lonely out there, and sometimes it takes a lot to make the right connections and end up in the right spaces. But it is possible to feel at least a little bit safer, given the right time and place. If people are scared of me or if they cringe or anything else, it's not my problem. I'm not here for them.

[zelenbug]

Omg... I saw your speculative biology post about rayman creatures, i am so weak for those!

Do you have any more headcanons you could tell me about? Personally I'm most interested in the Teensies and flies (ahem, Murfy) but you can tell me about anyone you feel like. I'd see it as a win either way :D

If you want to offcourse!

surprised this wasnt as niche as i expected ! i dont really have much more to say that i havent mentioned in the post but this is giving me something to fink about so im happy to pull some more out of my brain

-

teensies have pupils in much the same way mice and rats etc do. its just that they have really dark colored irises so you cant see the pupils under most conditions. however some teensies are weird and have really light irises, as in these guys. the eyes are set up like the same otherwise

globteens case is explainable with how incredibly pale he is. he might just have some kind of leucism

-

also i concluded from rayman 3 that they have 2 toes on their feet and this is the closest visual approximation

-

something i also concluded from rayman 3 is that teensy heights vary a LOT. several are taller than rayman! explicitly! and i think it gave romeo permanent back problems hence his incredible posture (i have no idea why ottos posture is really weird but in like, the opposite way, why is he this upright)

most teensies still live up to their name, but some ethnic groups will tend to be noticeably taller, like sylkins tufkins nookins (especially nookins) etc. but they can all be randomly tall. i think this is a given for any species of anything but its kind of notable for the people literally named teensies, also just how much the heights seem to vary (this is obtained with raymap also, theyre not found on the same map but the heights are relative to rayman and should be accurate)

its funny sometimes my headcanons are just . descriptions of things that literally are canon. but like. you get me this is something that is remarkable in my hc lore

-

nose does has cartilage in it (gotta protect the magic organ thing somehow) but its still like. very squeezable. makes a honk through cartoon logic, hurts some people if honked though (Ales Mansay)

speaking of him. if the magic organ is broken, its still like. present it just doesnt function well. i have no idea what it actually looks like other than some kind of blob thing that takes up most of the schnozzle (with some space for like. the nasal cavity). the closest thing i could think of is. the melon on cetaceans. i dont know if itd be like that i just think it wouldnt be much like a brain??? its hard to imagine An Organ Dedicated Specifically To Synthesizing Magic.

ive been thinking about it but im not sure if other species have that too, just much smaller placed somewhere else on the head, just allowing them to use magic. i think i like it better if Everyone gets access to it regardless of having An Organ Dedicated Specifically To Synthesizing Magic

-

i doodled baby murfy once

greenbottle larvae dont tend to talk much, or do much other than eat rotted meat all day. you cant really socialize or play games with them or anything

they dont end up remembering how it was like to be a larva or a pupa. pupating would feel like going to bed for like a week and then you wake up suddenly having conciousness and wings. its around this time they get named too, larvae are treated almost like a weird pet that will suddenly turn into a person eventually

also like, imagine the adaptation period after emerging from the pupa. its like being a 13 year old and a newborn at the same time. they do adapt fairly quickly though, one whos 15 or even 14 (both ages equivalent, not glade years) can already seem pretty normal

also the actual hatchday, and the day they stop being a pupa, are treated as separate, so its like they get TWO free birthdays! unless the dates overlap

much of this Larva Information applies to the other bugs as well. they have larvae and then pupate and then emerge as actual concious beings

[tokyosmega]

the atla universe if languages existed

hey there! ever wondered what avatar would be like if the nations actually spoke different languages? me too! here's my idea of how it would go:

(set during avatar: the last airbender, might add more during korra times another day)

quick disclaimer: i am an american who speaks american english and conversational france french. all of my language knowledge comes from youtube or school. this is just a silly little headcanon i needed to write down.

WATER

Within the water tribe’s language system, there are two main languages: Northern Water and Southern Water. Northern Water is spoken by the Northern Water tribe and Southern Water is spoken by the Southern Water tribe. Despite having similar names, the two languages are very different. When the Water tribes lived as one on the water lionturtle, they all spoke the same language (which we will call Olde Water), but after separation, they evolved independently. Think of the relationships between the two water languages as the relationship between French and Spanish. Their words can be similar (sol/soleil, luna/lune) because they share roots from Latin (or in this case, Olde Water). Northern Water and Southern Water share roots to the point where a Southern speaker and a Northern speaker would not be able to understand each other but could probably pick out a few key words from their speech. Similar words are things that are native to their area, while less common things that did not exist/were unknown during Olde Water times have differing words (the word for “polarbear-dog” is probably similar in both languages, but the word for “badgermole” is probably different). If the tribes met often for peace/community reasons (perhaps annually), then both languages would contain loanwords from the other tribe. For example, if sea prunes are a Southern Water tribe staple, then the word for “sea prunes” in the North is probably the same as it is in the South. Neither language has any sort of written component- it is completely oral.

Another, more niche language also exists within the Water language family, and that is Foggy Swamp. This language also originates from Olde Water, but has a great amount of Earth influence, since the swamp itself is in the Earth Kingdom (influence specifically from Omashu). Someone who speaks Olde Water would understand Foggy Swamp to the extent that someone who speaks American English would understand Pidgin English (that is, they would have to focus intently and would be able to get the jist of their speech). A Northern Water or Southern Water speaker would not be able to understand them at all, since their languages have developed so drastically from Olde Water. However, one could trace roots of words in Foggy Swamp back to Northern or Southern Water. An Earth speaker would not understand them at all either, but would be able to trace back loanwords and modern terminology (the word for “swamp” or “cat-gator”, for example, would be a lot more similar to Earth than it would be to Northern Water or Southern Water). Foggy Swamp also does not have a writing system.

EARTH

Because it covers such a vast space, the people of the Earth kingdom used to be incredibly linguistically diverse, with almost every city speaking differently than the next. During Kyoshi’s reign, Chin the Conqueror took over most of the kingdom and standardized the writing system (similar to the Qin dynasty in China), and therefore heavily influenced spoken language in the Earth kingdom. As an after-effect, Common Earth, also known as simply Earth, is the most widely spoken language in the world, to a similar extent as English or Mandarin Chinese. It is taught as a second language in every nation and it is hard to find a city where there are no Earth speakers. Everyone in the Earth kingdom speaks or understands Earth. Omashu Earth is an accent that is spoken primarily in the city of Omashu, and has tonal differences from Earth, similar to the difference between New York English and standard American English. Aside from Omashu Earth, the other areas of the Earth kingdom that were taken over by Chin do not have distinct accents. There are some slight variances, especially in the Southern islands between the Air temples, but all speakers of Common Earth can understand each other perfectly. Common Earth has a stable writing system that does not vary.

Despite Chin’s attempt to standardize language within the Earth kingdom, the places he did not conquer held fast to their respective languages. Ba Sing Se Earth, which can also be called Upper Ba Sing Se Earth, is the language that differs the most from Common Earth due to Ba Sing Se’s impenetrable walls cutting them off from the rest of the kingdom. Since both languages are derived from Olde Earth, they share similar writing systems, but neither language can understand each other (similar to the relationship between Cantonese and Mandarin). The walls between the Upper and Lower ring also created Lower Ba Sing Se Earth, where grammar is more simplified, due to the hasty lifestyle of a lower-class worker. Both Upper and Lower Ba Sing Se Earth speakers can understand each other, but Upper Ba Sing Se speakers might not be able to understand Lower slang. Their writing system is exactly the same. Kyoshi Earth is spoken solely on Kyoshi island, and is very similar to the former language of the people of Yokoya. It is not understandable to any other Earth speakers and functions similarly to the relationship between Japanese and Mandarin Chinese, with a different yet similar alphabet to Common Earth. The Si Wong tribes, who inhabit the Si Wong desert, speak various independent languages, but are collectively known as Si Wong Earth. Their languages have many loanwords from Common Earth due to trade. Their written language is syllabic and simple, similar to Cuneiform. 

FIRE

Most of the Fire nation speaks the same language, but there are three main dialects within the Fire Nation language system. The most commonly spoken dialect is aptly named Fire, but is also known as Common Fire. This language is spoken within the Fire nation capital, Caldera, but is mainly used within the greater land mass of the Fire nation. It evolved from Olde Fire and is the most basic form of Fire nation speech. The most similar dialect is more of an accent with some different slang terms and is known as High Fire. It is spoken by the citizens of Caldera, especially the nobles. It is completely understandable to those who know Common Fire and vice versa. The relationship between the two languages is similar to the relationship between Canadian French and Quebecois. The main difference between High Fire and Common fire is pronunciation of words and tonal patterns within sentences and phrases. The last dialects all get looped into one group and are collectively known as Provincial Fire. Provincial Fire is spoken on the outskirts of the mainland and into the chain of islands off of the Fire nation. It varies greatly depending on what island or area of the mainland it is spoken in and has differences from Common Fire that are similar to Korean’s differences from its provincial dialects (speech pattern and tones, different slang terms). The further out one gets from Caldera, the stronger the dialect. Written language within the Fire nation is the same across all of the dialects and characters are similar to Mandarin Chinese as they are pictorial and syllabic (from canon). 

The Sun Warriors are the only ethnic group of the Fire nation that speaks anything other than Common Fire. The Sun Warriors speak Sun Fire, which originates from Olde Fire as well, but has changed greatly since it was spoken within such a small group of people. Someone who speaks Common Fire would not understand Sun Fire at all, but could probably pick out a few words that have similar roots to Common Fire. Sun Fire has two written languages- one is reserved for spiritual leaders and spiritual texts, while the other is used by all people. Visually, it is similar to the differences between Japanese’s Kanji and Kana writing systems, where one is more simplified and one is more traditional. Spiritual written Sun Fire is more similar to written Common Fire. 

AIR

The people of the Air nation only have one language: Air. Due to a high need of proper communication, as well as people constantly moving from temple to temple, or growing up at one and working at the other, Air nomads developed only a single language from Olde Air. Air nomads have a robust writing system to allow writing of incredibly complex ideas and air nomad journeys. Most nomads learn multiple other languages as they age, so they can succeed no matter where they find themselves in the world. Due to the destruction of the Air temples, Air is almost a completely lost language. Remaining speakers include Aang and his children, as well as a few Earth kingdom elders who learned the language from friends and passed it down to their children.

MISC.

Cities born out of the 100-year war, like Cranefish Town (Republic City), are another story. The Fire nation mandated that all colonies only speak Common Fire in hopes of destroying the culture of the city, but despite that, a hybrid language developed: Earthen Fire. To a non-speaker, Earthen Fire sounds like Common Fire, but the grammar structure is very Earth based (a Fire speaker can understand Earthen Fire in the way that a Dutch speaker can understand Afrikaans). It also incorporates many loanwords from Earth. The writing system involves the exact same characters as written Earth, so it almost sounds like Fire spoken with an Earth accent. 

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Some of these anons take the easy way of blaming the BRF for MM's "downfall". Jean Malek called her out LONG ago. Why aren't her Suit cast mates defending her or even being friends with her except for that one thirsty fella who's posting about her?

What happened to Janina, her number one supporter who said she had seen the emails and texts and had lived the experience with MM? All her supposed A list buddies are no longer selling the "MM is a poor little victim" story anymore? Gayle and Oprah did a happy dance on the street saying they have seen the proofs of BRF's horrible treatment of MM but now are as quiet as mice. Is that the BRF's doing too? 🙄

Tell me, what else has Jean Malek done to expose Meghan other than that one Instagram comment? Did he give interviews talking about her? Did he provide any receipts? Did he go on a media tour to talk about her behavior? No, he didn’t. He wrote one comment and then noped off to the rest of his life. But sure, let’s give him, a photographer that no one outside the incredibly-niche SMM side of royal-watching knows, all the credit for Meghan’s takedown.

The Suits cast are Meghan’s former coworkers. You sound young, so let me clue you in on How The World Works: people don’t talk about or to former coworkers when they’re no longer working together unless they’ve developed a personal relationship and socialize outside of work. You could work somewhere for 2 years or 10 years or 30 years - but the day you walk off that job, that’s the end of that relationship with most of those people. The Suits cast doesn’t talk about Meghan because their only relationship was work. They didn’t actually have a real relationship. It was all faked for the camera. They don’t have anything to share about her.

Now let’s look at your accusations that we’re ignoring the BRF’s attempts to silence their critics, who also just so happen to be Meghan’s friends. Whoops, sorry, “friends,” because 2 of 3 people you cited have only publicly associated with Meghan less than 5 times combined and have not confirmed any time spent together privately.

Janina - the fact that you don’t even know her last name to include it in your ask gives her the same importance as Jean Malek. No one outside a very niche group of royal-watchers know who she is, what she does, or how Meghan knows her. She has no power to take down the BRF so they don’t give a twat about her. They, like the rest of us, probably don’t even know who she is.

Oprah - the most famous of Meghan’s so-called friends, but someone who has only publicly associated with Meghan 3 times (the wedding, the interview, and the bookstore) and her mother once (pap photos) over 6-7 years. A woman who still has the power to sway Middle America with her own opinion? If anyone could do serious damage to the BRF’s reputation, it’d be Oprah and her influence over middle America, even with her downgraded credibility after that interview. And you’re positive that it was the BRF who silenced Oprah and not, you know, her own ambition? Because at the end of the day, Oprah would give both kidneys, her right arm, and her Tina Turner wig to interview Charles, William, and/or Kate. You don’t get to have that opportunity if you’re backing someone who’s declared them Public Enemy #1.

Gayle King - Oprah’s best friend and a newsreader who’s only been in the same room with Meghan once (when she presented her baby to the world in Windsor Castle). A newsreader who also, may I remind you, anchored her network’s broadcasts of The Queen’s funeral and The King’s coronation. She knows which side her bread is buttered because as one of her network’s key news anchors for historic and special event programming, she cannot afford to upset the family of the British head of state whose personal milestones - coronations, jubilees, weddings, births, deaths, and funerals - are important and newsworthy historical events that her network wants media credentials to cover.

(In case you didn’t know: it’s not an automatic guarantee who goes to these events and who gets to cover them.

1. Most networks have internal discussions - which are really more like competitions between all the anchors and reporters - about who gets to cover these events. The reporters that go to London for the in-person coverage are going to be the reporters who can get the best interviews with bystanders, attendees, or the Royal-adjacent crowd. If Gayle King is gloating about “devastating” receipts she has personally seen and she’s staked her professional and public reputation on being #TeamMeghan…well, she probably isn’t going to get the kind of interviews or pull-asides that other networks with more BRF-friendly reporters get, so CBS probably isn’t sending her to London. They’re keeping her in the New York studios instead. Now Gayle might want that cushy studio job, but she might also want to be on the ground in London - we don’t know. But the fact that Gayle has stopped speaking about Meghan is striking; either she’s realized her career depends on shutting up about the BRF or she’s realized that Meghan is on a downward spiral into public obscurity and professional embarrassment and unhitched her wagon from Meghan’s coattails.

2. Outside of the rota, all media networks, British and foreign, have to request credentials (aka approval) from the BRF to attend their events and apply for a spot on the ropes or in a media center to broadcast from. So a network needs to be on good terms with the palace’s press office to ensure they get a good spot for broadcasting. While the palace isn’t going to outright reject or deny credentials to a network or a reporter critical of them or their principals, they’re certainly going to make it clear they’re not a preferred network and that’s going to be through giving them a not-so-good placement. So when a network is having the internal discussion/competition about who to send, they’re going to take into consideration what kinds of public comments their most-visible reporters or anchors have said and how it affects their chances for placement.

So the chances that BRF silenced Gayle are pretty small. It’s more likely that Gayle herself decided Meghan was the wrong horse to back when she considered potential ramifications to her career with all the BRF events that were - at the time - in the pipeline.)

So all that…and now I must ask: are you honestly, seriously, really telling me that the head of state in Britain cares that much about suppressing terrible information about themselves that they’d smother a whole bunch of C-list actors, some nobodies, one of the most famous women in the world, and a reporter in NDAs prohibiting them from speaking?

Put down Finding Freedom and Endgame and go take a walk in some crunch leaves, because this take is wild.

(My deepest, sincerest apologies to Gina Torres and Wendell Pierce, who are very much A-List and were shining beacons of gloriousness amidst the sea of cable C-Listers.)

[mx-pokirby]

Alright, let's get pretentious.

I've come to start resenting those super popular Mario 64 hacks as of late, like B3313, the multiplayer mod, Mario 64 with Shotgun.

People came out of the woodworks making videos and articles about them, and it kinda hate how those are now "the mainstream", relatively speaking.

And it also sucks because they're all great hacks! But the fact that that if you asked most (relevant) people to think of what a Mario 64 hack is, it's either just the base vanilla game "with a wacky YouTube Content-y™ Twist and/or within the ballpark of just creepypasta (/derogatory)/beta content.

Aside from Star Road back in 2011, which while groundbreaking had some pretty mixed design, the general online populous who even still cares about Mario 64 have no idea about the game's entire massive & passionate modding scene, full of incredible and original standalone experiences, both in gameplay and narrative, for free.

Elise, a beautiful Yume Nikki-like with cutscenes and voice acting, borrowing the base game's sense of exploration as a jumping off point.

SM64 Kingdom's End, a genuinely haunting story about Mario struggling until the last moment to save a dying world.

Mario Party 64, our childhood dream of wishing we could play in the boards & minigames of Mario Party like an actual platformer brought to life.

Detective Mario: Murder on Ice, mapping the genre of text-based murder mystery (complete with typing in commands) into a 3D Mario level with surprising twists and required deduction skills.

Mario breaks EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY (case sensitive), a hilarious Monkey Ball-like

Ceaseless Climb, exploring a tricky, warped reality beyond the game's infamous Infinite Staircase

My Dress-Up Darling 64 which, and I quote from the game's Romhacking.com page's description, "being the first hack to use HVQM full-motion video"

There's rhythm games, Zelda-likes, horror games, shitposts, puzzlers, slide hacks, what-ifs, massive collabs, the absurdly sized Star Revenge *series*, huge hacking competitions with cash prizes and often dozens/hundreds of submissions meant to incentivize newcomers to try, Mario slips on a banana peel and fucking dies 64, and literally hundreds more I could name

I'm just really passionate about this little niche internet community, and I'm sad it only got the thinnest spotlight once a tiny piece of it ended up being profitable for content creators. There's so much more than what most people see.

Besides. It's free video games; Surely that alone makes it worth checking out, right...? Everything is suuuper accessible/user-friendly nowadays~