#it's honestly really fun? it's like fanfiction but we get to make out

[vulpixelates]

the monday blues are getting me especially hard after a four day weekend of being curled up in bed and playing pretend with my wife 😔😔

daydreaming about the lesbians in our heads SAVE ME

[carmenized-onions]

Tony, Terry, Tommy? | Walk-In Hotfix

synopsis; You get an unexpected call from an old friend in need of an emergency repair. Good thing: that's kind of your whole gig. Bad thing: You've been avoiding the Berzatto family for the past year.

tasting notes; hurt comfort? idk man, he's in a fuckin' freezer. this is gonna be a long slow-burn series. We don't use Y/N here and we've got a very preestablished storyline going on babes. Eat up.

portion; 3.1k+

possible allergies; SEASON 2 FINALE SPOILERS, I've started writing this before Season 3 comes out in June so we're going WAY off canon (unless I'm an oracle), Mikey is gonna be central baby, any tw you require for the bear-- you require for this.

pairing; Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto & Fem Reader (No pronouns!)

I have not written fanfiction in 5-6 years and once again some goddamn pretty boy just YOINKS me back in. I'm making up my own season three here so I'm kinda flying by the seat of my pants with this series, hopefully it turns out. If it doesn't... C'est la vie, I had fun.

The inciting incident, the thing that pulls you in, and permanently alters the trajectory of your life—                    Is honestly quite boring, because it’s just a phone call from an old friend.

You stare at your screen for what feels like eons but it’s really just a few rings. It’s enough time to frantically search through blankets on your couch for your remote to pause your show— Which might as well be like 10 years of time. You’re heavily debating not answering; what if it’s something heavy? What if a mutual childhood friend died? What if it’s a love or murder confession? What if it’s about the money you owe her? The money she owes you?

Do you really want to take that kind of call? On what’s been a peaceful Friday night? That’s a rarity in your part of Chicago, c’mon. If it’s important, she’ll leave a voicemail... Who are you kidding, she doesn’t leave voicemails— Frankly, it’s bizarre and concerning that she’s calling in the first place instead of spam texting. …Alright, she’s let it get to the fourth ring, she’s probably dead or dying. You need to pick up.

“…Syd?”

She sounds infinitely stressed, but relieved to hear your voice.“Hey, hey, uh—”

There’s a cacophony of yelling, banging, and what you imagine are kitchen noises in the background. Guess she kept to her guns after Sheridan. That’s nice. Or maybe it’s not. Hard to tell.

“Are you good?” She can’t see the concern on your face or your free arm crossing over your waist— But she can imagine it in the worried lilt of your voice.

“Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah— I-I’m good— Well actually, no, I’m not good, that’s why I’m calling. Actually. Sorry. I know it’s been a minute, it’s fucked up to call only when I need something—”

“Syd.”

“Is your dad still a handy-man?”

Ah. Goodbye peaceful Friday night. Hello emergency hotfix services.

You click your teeth, “Oh, no, he retired. Got a case of… Getting fucking old disease.” But a part of you is relieved it’s a thing that’s broken, and not her. This is at least manageable— Whatever it is.

“Fuck. Okay. Fuck. Ha, yeah, my dad’s got that too— Well, okay, then I’ll talk—”

You’re quick to jump in. “I took over the business though. So, if you’re—" “We need help so bad right now.”

You can’t help but laugh at the speed of it, but immediately feel guilty hearing the desperation in it. “Yeah? Who’s we?”

You stick the cellphone in the crux of your neck, already walking across your apartment to throw on your jumpsuit— Dark navy blue, elbow length sleeves, dad’s old logo embroidered on your right breast pocket.

CHICAGO’S KINDEST ⚒ FIXERS & CO. It’s managed to grow on you.

There’s an egregious number of patches ironed or sewn onto the back and shoulders of it. All from businesses you and your father had either worked with or done odd jobs for. A NASCAR jumpsuit, but for nostalgia and small businesses. Something something ‘it all starts with your neighbourhood’. Your dad would say.

Syd continues, she hasn’t changed much. You hear her sharp dicing in the background, the rhythm seems to calm down into an actual flow instead of erratic speed. You figure either the dinner rush is starting to slow down or she’s relieved you’re coming. Who are you being humble for, no shot it’s the former.

“So, you know how I’m like— Like a chef and shit?”

 You hum the affirmative, putting her on speakerphone so you can pull out your tool kit with both hands.

“So like, I actually co-own this restaurant opening tonight.”

“Oh nice!”

“Yeah— Yeah, yeah, it’s really nice, but actually, it’s not, because it’s bad.”

“In the way I can fix?”

“In the way you can fix, yeah. Hopefully.”

“What’s the damage?”

“So, my co-owner uh, Carmen, he got locked in the walk-in. Like trapped.”

You take a beat, a confused one. Half-stepping, almost tripping. You stare at your tools, picking out what you’ll actually need for this— How the fuck— “How is he trapped in the walk-in?”

“So, he meant to call to get it fixed—” “And he didn’t?” “And he didn’t.”

“What was broke about it in the first place?”

“The doorknob on the inside, broke off. And right now, or, more like, 5 minutes ago, the handle on the outside broke off too.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck.”

“Do you have the outside handle, still?”

“Yeah. Yeah, laying around somewhere— It snapped off though, like—”

“Clean?”

“Uh…. Y’know, I would check, but I’m actually kinda—"

“Can we run table 36, please, Chefs?!” Now that’s an uncomfortably familiar voice.

“Yes, Chef! …I’m kinda busy.”

“Right. Restaurant. Oh, what fucking restaurant? You said Carmen, that’s that fuckin’ Michelin guy, right?” Berzatto. It has to be. The smallness of this world is a personal prank on you.

“…How do you know that?” Son of a bitch.

“…I try to remember what you like.” It’s a good save, but that was too intimate for 3 years of no contact besides Happy Birthday texts, fuck fuck, recover— “Ahem, uh, Restaurant?”

“The Bear. Formerly The Beef. You do still live in Chicago, right?”

Berzatto. Confirmed. Bleh.

“Fortunate for you, I do. I know The Beef, I’m not far, I’ll be there in ten. Tell him to not have a panic attack, if you get a minute.”

“I will not get a minute. But I love the dream.”

And you’re off. Jumpsuit half zipped over what was supposed to be a sleep shirt but is now posthumously a work shirt. Nobody has to know you’re wearing pajama shorts under this. Carhartt jacket thrown over your shoulders— Your dad’s, so, a bit oversized. Toolbox in hand, utility belt on— Though you’re mildly sure if your hypothesis is right, you will only need your threateningly long sledgehammer.

Thank God for your car. CTA would not like you right now.

You pull up front. Oh boy. The sign change is making you feel a type of way that you were not expecting. Pride? Envy? All seven of the deadly sins? Maybe. No time to stew on it because there’s an older woman smoking and having an emotional spat with who you assume is her shivering son out front. So. Definitely going through the back alley instead of getting in the middle of that shit.

Alas, it’s not any better, because there’s Syd, vomiting next to a dumpster.

“Better to ignore or acknowledge you in this moment?” Is the response you decide is best, despite the question, you’re already by her side. You put your tools down (out of the splash zone) and rub her back with one hand, holding back straying braids with the other.

“I couldn’t—” More vomit. “Fuckin’ tell ya.” Syd takes a few deep breathes before standing. She considers going in for a hug, but remembers, the vomit. “Good to see you. I want to catch up, f’real, but—” “The bear in the walk-in?” “The bear in the walk-in.”

You nod, fishing through your pocket. You hand her a mini container of Tums. She waves it off, of course, and you double down, of course, “Who you acting tough for?”

“Fuckin… No one.” She grimaces, taking the box. She makes a show of taking one, like a fussy kid.

You refuse to take it back. “Keep it.”

“Never stopped being the mom friend, eh?”

You laugh, picking up your tools again. “Listen, there’s no telling what the night and your stomach holds. Lead the way?”

The Bear is pretty, or at least the kitchen of it is, so far. It’s clean. Cleaner than it used to be. The death trap walk-in is really the only eyesore for you. You stare at the broken-off handle in your hand, twisting it back and forth to look at all the angles. It’s honestly a pretty clean break.

Sydney’s left to talk to her dad, as she should, and the rest of the kitchen is either too busy to pay you mind or is just silently relieved to see you.

Tina— Who has thankfully opted to not say ‘Hey, good to see you, it’s been a year, what the fuck’—Taps the walk-in door and says to this elusive Michelin Carmen that she’ll be right back, that help’s here. He does not seem to register this at all. She gently slaps your cheek before rushing back to her station, regardless.

“Maybe I’m just not built for this, maybe, maybe that’s okay— Maybe that just is.”

You’ve never said his name to him, it feels heavy on your tongue. “Carmen.”

“Right? What the fuck was I thinking?”

Alright, he’s too far gone. You flag down one of the cooks that are just shadowing for the night. “Hey, can you hold this in place for me?”

You stick the handle into what’s left of the hinge still attached to the door, which is, not much— But hopefully, again, if your hypothesis is correct, it’ll give enough leverage. The cook holds it in place, a little terrified as your sledgehammer comes into view.

“Not gonna hit you, promise.”

“—I’m a fuckin’ psycho. That’s why. That’s why I’m good at what I do.”

You tap (bang) the hammer on the door, enough to stop his train of thought. For a second, at least. “Sweetheart, I need you to stand up for me, Carmen Chef Sir.”

“…Tony?”

“...Who the fuck is Tony?”

The meek cook beside you speaks up, “He means Tommy.”

And Tina is quick to yell from across the kitchen— hearing how? We don’t know. “It’s Terry!”

“I am none of these people.” You sigh, readying the hammer. “Carmen, can you stand up, and just tuck your fingers in the wedge of the door? If there is one?”

“Heard. Yeah.” There’s shuffling from in there, getting into position. Though the steps and the words seem dazed, as he’s forced out of a mental fog. “Here.”

“This isn’t a fix by the way. Your whole door is fucked after this. Not that it isn’t already, but, y’know.” You back up, teeing yourself up before running forward.

“Well, wait—”

You slam the mallet into the tip of the handle perfectly, forcing it way too tight into the gap of the hinge. You push the cook aside with your hip, now using the long handle of the mallet to stick between the knob and the door, using it as further leverage to pull it open. It is incredibly straining.

“Carmy!” Is it okay to say that nickname before you’ve even seen his face? Eh. You’re moving the boulder, he’ll forgive you. “You feel air?!”

“Holy shit— Yeah, yeah— Push?!” “Of course fucking push!”

And it becomes apparent in this exchange of force that this Head Chef must be significantly stronger than you, because it’s opening a lot faster now. Though, fast is a strong word for the snail pace this is happening at. But it’s more than the nothing that was happening a minute ago.

“Aye… Cousin?” Richie, in a… suit? Runs up to you, coming from front of house. He immediately grabs a free spot on the sledgehammer’s handle to help pull. He was shocked to see you doing, well, this, right now, but then upon registering, he’s just shocked to see you. Period.

You can only groan in response, sticking a leg up and putting your foot on the wall as if it’s gonna add meaningful leverage— Oh wait, it kinda is. “Y'clean up good, Rich— Opening going—Fuck— well?”

“Oh yeah, fucking peachy.” He can only manage to wheeze in reply. Investing his strength in yanking rather than reintroductions; thankfully it pays off.

The hinge shoots open, you would have absolutely fallen on your ass if Richie was not ready to stabilize you. The walk-in door cracks open. Just a bit. It’s not dramatic, it’s just a breath.

It’s so anti-climactic that Richie doesn’t mind walking off to cheer before Carmen even comes out. Clapping your back as he does. “That’s what I like to fuckin’ see, Cousin! Ingenuity!”

Though, to be fair, he’s moving to intercept a very sweet looking, worried girl. You look up at her, wheezing as you keel over slightly to catch your breath, hands on your knees. She’s saying something along the lines of ‘What’s going on?’ ‘Is he okay?’ Girlfriend? Probably. Richie seems to be coaxing her accordingly. You turn your head back to the door. Carmen hasn’t come out yet. That’s a red flag. With another wheeze, you stand up right, opening the door further, peeking in.

He's standing there, catatonic. Not looking at you, but straight forward, beyond you. He must’ve been by the door to push it open but now he’s stumbled against the back shelf. Every time his girl’s voice manages to ring into here, his eyes crinkle— Wince. His breath keeps hitching. He looks afraid. It is better to be caged right now than it is to be out there, doing whatever he could be doing, right now. Talking to anyone might be a death sentence, right now.

“I don’t need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I don’t need to receive any amusement or enjoyment. I’m completely fine with that.” He mumbles repeatedly. You can barely hear it over the buzzing of the freezer.

Whispering it just for himself, like some sort of fucked up mantra. Like it’s a state of inner peace to feel this bad. You doubt he even sees you right now.

You know you don’t know Carmy personally. Mostly just through hearsay.

He’s never met or heard of you, that’s for sure.

But you know Berzattos. Or. Knew the one.

And you know a downward spiral. Intimately.

And you know that right now, he’s fucking cold. He is shivering and making no move to leave that state. You think he thinks that’s the state he deserves to stay in.

Nothing to lose but a good first impression, right? You drop a screwdriver in the doorway as a doorstop— Because how fucking dumb would it be if you both got stuck? And. Extremely slowly, you approach him not unlike approaching an actual captive bear. In your eyes, you might as well be.

Standing right in front of him doesn’t stop his mantra. You slip your jacket off, half hugging him to drape it over his shoulders. “You’re just cold.”

“I’m a—” “You’re just. Cold.” You cut him off before he has the chance to self-deprecate again, smoothing out the sleeves on him. His eyes readjust to actually look at you rather than somewhere beyond.

You sniff. You’re already cold and it’s been 30 seconds. This poor thing. You rub your hands together, breathing hot air into them before touching them to his frigid fucking face. “Fuck you’re really cold. Like danger cold.”

Never being one for boundaries or hesitation, you hug yourself to him. It’s the fastest way to warm him up. You slip your hands under the jacket— Your jacket— And just engulf the Italian Popsicle Man before you.

Shockingly, he doesn’t push you off or suddenly reawaken to his senses and tell you to fuck off. He doesn’t flinch, if anything he leans in. His body doesn’t really have time for surprise, right now, it just takes what it needs. And what it needs is warmth and oxytocin. His breathing slowly but surely self regulates, and once you start to remember decorum you lower your arms— But. He opts to place his chin on your shoulder, like the world’s most gentle hook, and that alone is enough to keep you there.

It's a long, silent, liminal spacey moment before he speaks again. Both of you speak just above the decibel of the freezer's buzzing.

“You’re not Tony.”

“Terry.”

“You’re Terry?”

“No, Tina said Tony’s Terry. I don’t know who the fuck Terry is.”

“Terry’s the fridge guy.”

“You’re still going to need to call him; I did just make it worse.”

“That’s fine.” He swallows. “Who called you?”

“Syd.”

“Should’ve called you earlier.”

“Should’ve called the fridge guy earlier.”

“Yeah.” He sighs, but he makes no move to move, so you don’t either.

“You know Mikey too?”

Ah. The patch. The Beef. It's worn, but it sits proudly on the left shoulder of your jumpsuit. Your heart tightens and so does your posture.

“Yeah.” You sigh. It’s shakier than you’d like it to be. “Dad knew him, so then I knew him, so then I occasionally fixed shit for him. Shit that ‘Fak couldn’t?’ I think his name was?”

“Hm.” He hums. “He ever got locked in the walk-in?”

“Yeah, he really fucked it up, like waayy worse than whatever happened with you tonight. Like whatever happened. At least 10 times worse.” Your voice is coated with sarcasm, but it’s not entirely untrue.

You’re relieved, when Carmen laughs at this, a touch maniacally, but it’s something. Right now, any emotion from him besides regret and anxiety feels like a trophy. He straightens up, pushing his hair back, so you remove your arms.

“You’re fuckin’ funny, Tony.”

“Still not Tony.”

“Oh my god!” A blonde, very pregnant woman cracks the door open, relieved. “Are you okay, Bear?” You step aside so she can hug Carmen, holding his cheeks to look over him. Oh, this has to be—

“I’m good, I’m great, Sug.” He says this incredibly unconvincingly, hanging one hand on her wrist.

But what matters more in your brain right now is: That’s Sugar. Natalie.

And now you can put a face to both siblings you’ve been bitched about to.

Chain-smoker, means well, cringeworthy husband, too good for her family, incredibly judgemental, cares too much and worries more, loves to fight, her mother’s daughter, pushy, sticks her foot in her mouth, can’t take no for an answer, would lay down her life. Natalie Berzatto. Little sister.

Michelin Star retaining, big shot, sensitive, definitely a virgin, ball buster, sweats the small stuff, sweetheart, asshole, incredibly smart, flighty, coward, deeply loyal, whiny, screamer, show-off, fantastic drawer, shell, mister new york, annoyingly humble, undeniably the most talented. Carmen Berzatto. Baby brother.

Mikey’s words. Of course.

Nat turns her gaze over to you, “Thank you.” You can only bring yourself to nod in reply, a bit awkward— Lost in your rolodex of memories of the people you’ve never actually met until right now. It’s weird to feel parasocial about a normal person.   

“Our toilet, exploded.” She says.

Now that pulls out you of it, and gets a laugh out of you. You put your hand over your mouth. “Yeah?”

Sugar shakes her head, eyes widening like she’s just stepped in it, “I didn’t mean like— Like, you just did a job, right, that’s like tacking on another last-minute service—”

“That’s fine.” You put a hand up stopping her from continuing, still chuckling. “I’ll take a look at it tonight and try to fix it tomorrow?”

She nods, smiling bright, “Thank you, Tommy.”

Who needs to use Y/N when you have the fridge guy?

I so desperately hope you liked this first chapter. I've been stewing on this for like a week so I beg of you to reply/reblog/send me an ask (anon or not!!) telling me what you thought!! Unless it's mean!! In which case, do NOT!!!

And just a forewarning, as we step into uncharted territory where the walk-in meltdown was cut short, I need you to hold my hand through it bb. We're making this man's life better or we're gonna die trying.

Next Part

[chaoticace2005]

Reasons the Mothman should die, collectively written by the residents of the Hazbin Hotel:

Coding for Characters: Vaggie, Charlie, Pentious, Alastor, Niffty, Husk, pretty much everyone

TW: References to abuse

He’s holding back Angel’s progress. (Vaggie, is killing really necessary?) (I am concerned about going after a Vee)

I’m hungry (ALASTOR!)

Ms. Angel gets nervous when on the phone with him.

His coat is tacky.

He’s a bug! And bugs must be DESTROYED!

So Angel stops feeling like he has to be so damn fake. This is getting on my fucking nerves.

HE LICKED CHARLIE!!! (Vaggie, wait it’s okay.)

Color scheme sucks. Purple AND red?!

He makes Angel sad, NOBODY should make Angel sad.

Those obnoxious glasses just make him look stupid.

He’s a manipulative, abusive prick.

ANGEL DIDN'T KNOW BOUNDARIES WERE A THING?!?!?!?!?!? (Honestly that explains a lot.)

NOBODY deserves to be in an abusive relationship.

Too many arms. Nobody needs that many. (...Angel has that many?) (Well maybe he shouldn't.)

Ms. Angel keeps coming home all messy!!

He’s ruining hearts for everyone. Me and Angel already have enough. At least those are on our bodies, what’s his excuse?

Hearts should not even be ASSOCIATED with Valentino, THIS IS NOT LOVE.

I can do without all the sexual depravity. While I am in Hell this is NOT one of the reasons.

If I have to hear that ringtone one more damn time-

The Eggies found some of his films. They should never be exposed to such horrors. Now I have to explain what “a sex” is.

Makes picture shows that are a disgrace to the idea of “entertainment.”

He’s making a bad name for Uncle Ozzie. This is NOT “lust.”

So we don’t have to listen to another one of Angel’s pornos. (Agreed, it’s quite horrifying!!)

So Ms. Angel isn’t tired when she gets home and can save the kinky stuff for then :) (Niff, really?)

So the kid stops coming home with bruises and cuts that I fix up at 3 am. (Husk, what the fuck?)

Because what the FUCK Valentino?

He keeps forcing Angel to do drugs. (HE WHAT?! Like crack??) (That but also I’m pretty sure whatever comes out of him is an aphrodisiac.)

I want to use his antenna as a backscratcher

Has that whole red color thing going on. Only I am allowed to wear red :) (Al, your text isn’t even red.) (My what?)

What is up with his red spit and smoke? Seriously disgusting.

The red stuff from him may be what allows Velvette to create her “Love Potions” which funds Vax’s stupid endeavors (Do you mean Vox?) (Who?)

FOR MY COLLECTION :D (…yeah okay.)

Really is making a bad name for Overlords. And not in the fun way.

Angel’s shown trauma signs of abuse in our meetings. Im pretty sure it’s Valentino.

Make a doll out of his fur so I have a main villain for roach puppet shows!!!

His only purpose is to keep Veks occupied but considering Vixen’s inane attempts to catch my attention it isn’t working.

So Angel can have his soul and he and Husk can run off into the sunset together like in a fanfiction!!! (Ah, yes that would be nice.) (WE WHAT?!) (Oh Husker, denial doesn’t suit you.)

So Angel can get a good boyfriend THAT’S NOT ME to stop these bullshit allegations.

So Angel can admit his feelings to Husker because our cat surely isn’t going to be the first to do it. (ALASTOR I SWEAR TO GOD!)

Who knows how many other people he’s abusing.

Seems to give Vicks confidence. He has enough of that as is. It much more fun to destroy him.

He makes Angel sad which makes Cherri sad!

HE HIT ANGEL!!!

Called my dear Rosie an "old hag" NOBODY CALLS ROSIE AN OLD HAG.

Angel is a good friend and deserves so much better.

I’ve forgotten what moths taste like.

He keeps trying to get Angel to move out :(

Told the kid he had to lose weight. What the actual FUCK. (Ill kill him.)

He’s annoying and looks quite stupid. How has this not been added yet?!

He’s making a bad name for Spanish speakers everywhere. (Yeah it’s embarrassing.) (Wait… what?)

He’s making a bad name for pansexuals everywhere.

He’s making a bad name for wing-holders everywhere. (HE HAS FUCKING WINGS?!) (Oh, yeah, I didn’t tell you?)

Too tall. This is ridiculous.

Won’t admit he’s blind so he’s become even more of a public safety hazard.

If I get one more transmission of him and Box commiting lascivious acts someone will be eaten. I don’t care who. What the purpose of these are I don’t know. Advertisement? (I think it’s to make you jealous boss.) (Ha! Jealous of what? Mediocre sex with a pathetic excuse for a businessman with a TV as a head?)

Because Angel deserves fucking better.

[bokutoasavillain]

Hello! Could you recommend your favorite System fanfictions?

I have put this off for so long bc I have so many that I love and making a list that big seemed terrifying but I love sharing fanfics so here’s my best attempt <3

Bingqiu:

Tale Within A Tale

Rated T, It is so good!! The concept is so clever and it is such a satisfying read<33

it's you I find like a ghost in my mind

Rated M, a great identity reveal with a lot of dreamsharing

Treading Well-Worn Paths

Rated T, post-canon sqq turns into a kid and yqy and lbh look after him. I cannot tell you how I love this. The characterization, the dynamics, the identity reveal are all so perfect. Everything progresses so naturally and it is so good. The ending is a bit bittersweet and honestly it’s so fitting and just read this it’s perfect

We Are Not Wise

Rated T, in an au where cultivators draw their swords from their souls, sj takes in sy (a bit of blackmailing included). Sy and lbh are both disciples and soulmates. The focus is more on the relationship between sy and sj and it’s probably one of my favorite ways their relationship is portrayed. It is heavier on the angst and I was crying. It is so beautiful <33

The Mortifying Ordeal Of Being Known

Rated T, such a sweet and lighthearted post-canon truth spell fic <33

side effects may include indefinite photosensitivity

This is a three part series taking place post-canon. It’s about relationship development and also character development bc these two are so so young and have so much time to still grow. It is so sweet and also has some genderqueer bingqiu (as a treat)

Also one of my favorite quotes ever that still makes me cry to this day:

“I think I am mourning something that never existed to begin with,” […]“I think I am the thing that never existed to begin with.” (It’s in the third fic)

lonely little heartbeat

Rated E, lbh reverse transmigrates at 15 (I don’t want to spoil it but it’s great)

colored bright green

Rated T, Binghe also transmigrates to pidw and finds out he’s not the only one! It’s a slow burn and so sweet

Now Entering Incognito Mode!

Rated E, sqq flees cqms while lbh is in the abyss and he meets a mysterious young lady, I don’t want to spoil this it is soooo good!!!

I'll make the world safe and sound for you

Rated M, babytrapping (kinda?) its sweet and beautiful

go with the flow

Rated T, no plot just sweet post-canon husbands

End Racism in the OTW -- Infinite First Dates

Rated M, set during the five years sqq is dead, a lot of dream sharing. It’s really fun and lovely and just perfect <33

Type Casting

Rated E, oh god this one is soooo good!! What if sqqs mushroom body was that of a woman? And what if he didn’t remember his death?? And what if he himself assigned himself the role of the female lead bc well she’s a woman now so she obviously has to marry lbh right? Right???

Also sqqs inner monologue is so perfect and so good!!!!

I love this one so much pleeeeaase read it!!

the adventure of tiny bing

Rated E, tiny bingbing!! They’re friends and husbands and silly your honor

Error 404: Shizun Not Found?

Rated M, such a unique concept done so well

Promise Me Your Heart

Rated T, such a sweet and so underrated fic! I love it so much it fills me with all the mushy sweet feelings and it’s so tender and romantic and just sooo sweet <33

We’ll Meet While Rain is Falling

Rated E, amnesia that gets fixed by you guessed it papapa!! (It’s really sweet and tender)

Size Empress

Rated E, genderqueer sqq has a dream and well it progresses really well

Benign Deviations

Rated M, Bingge and Bingmei switch places and it’s amazing

shallow water weather

Rated T, MERMAID BINGQIU!! It’s so good (also anything my nyoomerr is amazing so read them all)

continued

Rated T, this one is really hard to describe so just go and read it it’s so fun and hilarious

To Boil a Frog

Rated M, the narrator in this one is so good and fun and overall it’s great

a gentler lesson

Rated T, KISSES!! SOO MANY KISSES!!!!

I (immortal, M) think I might be developing feelings for my roommate (27M). Help!!!

Rated M, so stupid so good just what it says in the title

A Transmigrator and a Time Traveler Walk Into the Bamboo House

Rated T, I just really love this one! Definitely so worth reading (I might have read it twice)

open my lungs to let you in

Rated T, also one I’ve reread a few times

Can't we just skip to the end?

Rated E, time travel baby! This and the sequels are so good!!

night of yearning

Rated E, lbh gets selective amnesia, this absolutely destroyed my soul

As to Me, As to You

Rated T, such an amazing concept with so much potential for future shenanigans and overall so satisfying

right from the start, I gave you my heart

Rated T, sqq is under an obedience curse when the jinlan reunion happens what could possibly go wrong?

Cumplane:

slow dance with you

Rated T, Kissies<33

I've got $400 and a really bad idea

Rated T, fake dating hehehe

Cumplane Summary Archive

Rated T, Outsider pov and overall hilarious

huddle for warmth

Rated G, so sweet and funny

Bros before... well everything I guess

Rated T, theyre a family <33

Moshang:

The Pen is Mightier

Rated E, Mbj seducing his husband <33

speak your mind

Rated T, sweet and touch starved

technically our marriage is saved

Rated T, so fun

Cold Hands, Warm Heart

Rated T, this is so good! It destroyed me emotionally and just ugh. My notes after reading it: „My chest hurt and oh my god this is perfect and painful and beautiful“

A Child Once

Rated T, post-canon sqh gets deaged and it’s really good

retrograde

Rated T, amnesia and misunderstandings work out

maine nazaron se tujhe chu liya

Rated M, soulmate marks and a bit of mystery (kinda)

If Not You

Rated E, fuck or die and it’s really good. I stayed up reading this until I could not see properly and I was dizzy

Ok this is it! I went through all my bookmarks for this and it took me the entire day. I hope you enjoy and if you ever need anything specific I can probably find it for you<3

[pinguwrites]

Kinktober 2023 | Day Eleven — Tom Buckley + body worship, overstimulation

Pairing -> soft dom!tom buckley x student!reader

Warnings -> smut (minors dni), soft dom!tom, sub!reader, office sex, overstimulation, use of pretty/sweet girl and baby, p in v sex, honestly not really proud of this one I was tired as shit when I wrote this

KINKTOBER 2023 MLIST

Disclaimer: Red Lights characters, plots, quotes, etc. do not belong to me and belong to the rightful owner(s). This is only fanfiction and this is just for fun.

“Pretty girl,” Tom whispered in your ear, nibbling on it for a brief moment. You were in his office — his university office, door locked with the lights dimmed low. You had intended to ask some questions on your assignment, maybe even head to dinner with him later, but Tom had a different idea, and the moment he saw you walking in he couldn’t help but pick you up and sit you down on his lap.

Now here you were, making out with your professor after hours, a pleased expression on your face as he loved and praised you.

“We shouldn’t—be doing this,” you murmured, in between kisses. You pulled away and placed your hand on his chest. “Anyone could walk in.”

“No one will catch us,” he insisted, his lips trailing down to your neck. He left a few bites, but they were soft and gentle, and you were sure they wouldn’t make a mark. “I promise.”

He lifted you up and placed you down on his desk, hiking up your skirt. “Did you wear his for me?” he asked.

“Maybe,” you responded coyly, but the answer was ‘yes’, you did wear it for him. You especially chose your outfits for days you had his class, not necessarily sexually provacative ones, but ones that looked good on you, ones that were cute.

Tom pulled down your panties, taking them off and tossing them aside. He immediately dove for your pussy, licking a soft swipe through your folds before sucking on your clit. He ate you out like he hadn’t in months, like all his focus and intent was on you and how to make you feel good.

“Tom,” you moaned, squirming a little. It wasn’t that you didn’t want his touch, oh you definitely did, but this was all new to you, and you weren’t yet used to the overwhelming feeling that came with Tom’s tongue. So, in response, you tried to shy away from it.

He knew you all too well. In the short amount of time you two started dating, he found all your weak spots, and abused the hell out of them. He made you feel like you had no thoughts left. He understood that you just got a little nervous sometimes, and while he always pushed you right to your limits, he would always be gentle and kind about it.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that right?” he said, looking up at you. “Your body is perfect,” he said, pinching your thighs until you whined. “I can never get enough.”

He fingered you. It was hard and quick, and you couldn’t help but whimper and wiggle. He made you come, and you felt dizzy for a moment, before you sighed happily.

He wiped your juices off his face with a napkin. He unzipped his pants and pulled out his cock, aligning it with your entrance while you weren’t paying attention. In just a few seconds he was thrusting in and out at a rough but slow pace.

You whined when he hit that spot in your pussy. “Ohh, Tom — need a break!”

“I’m sorry, pretty girl. Sweet girl, baby. You’re just too much for me — I can’t hold back.”

He made you come again. You should have known, he was always pulling things like this. Always needing more of your touch, to please you, to please him, whatever it was, it always left you overstimulated and worn out.

You thought he was done but he just put his cock back in his pants and latched his lips onto your cum-stained pussy.

“One more time, and I promise, I’ll be done.”

You let him. How could you not? And of course, be broke his promise.

Taglist:

@rainyforest777

@thatwitchybitch420

@madeinuk

@gentyleman

@henrywintersdearestgirl

[erraticprocrastinator]

Reposting this on Tumblr because, why not?

I’d like to add, now that I’m free from X’s character limit, that I am aware that there are a select few people out there who do write or make art for certain ships with the goal of criticising or “fixing” the relationships and identities in canon, but, at least from what I’ve seen, I truly don’t believe that this is the majority of Hazbin shippers (or non-canon shippers in general). Especially for a show with such heavy queer representation, with a largely queer audience, where most of the popular fan ships are also queer, I don’t think most people are approaching this with erasure in mind.

I know that I, for one, definitely didn’t start shipping RadioApple because I wanted to ignore or change Lucifer and Alastor’s identities in canon. I just found myself drawn to the characters, and their potential for chemistry outside of a canon setting, and decided to let myself have fun with those ideas — which, until now, I kind of thought was supposed to be the purpose of fan content, anyway. I don’t ship them because I don’t like who they are in canon, or because I want them to ever get together in canon (I don’t!), just like I think it’s generally assumed that most people who make gender-bend content don’t actually want the characters to be a different gender, or that people who kill off their favourite characters don’t actually want it to happen.

I’ve truly never seen this be such an issue in any fandom other than Hazbin, even for other LGBTQ-friendly animated shows. I know that this fandom can be pretty hostile in general, but I can’t pretend that I don’t find it disheartening when the comments of almost every adorable piece of fanart I find are littered with things like “but Charlie is with Vaggie!”, “Alastor is ace so this would never happen” (a topic that honestly deserves its own post), or “Angel can’t be with XYZ because HuskerDust is confirmed!”. We know guys. We know. That’s why we sit here writing fanfiction, making fanart; to explore ideas we haven’t seen in canon, or that haven’t been expanded on yet. Fandom is supposed to be a safe space for people who want to test their creativity, not a place to jump on each other because of it. As always, if something isn’t your cup of tea, you’re free to scroll past, click back, or filter out. There’s no need to rain on content that ultimately isn’t harming anyone, especially, and I really can’t emphasise this enough, especially if you support non-canon ships in other fandoms.

[ariaste]

Okay, I have to share this story because it was a hilarious experience, I'm not sure if the ask box will let me get through it in one message, bear with me.

So I'm scrolling through IWTV fanfiction on AO3, reading some of the more recent fics, and I find one fic that I really love. They've really got the Daniel tone and essence down, I'm laughing to myself on the couch. I decide to wait and read the fic out loud with my partner because when a fanfic is really good we like to share it. While I'm waiting for my partner to get back from canning peaches, I check the author's profile briefly and I'm like 'oh shit they write for The Untamed,' which is cool, that was our last fandom that we were super into.

My partner gets home-- I excitedly tell them that I've found a new fic for us to read and they'd better buckle in because it's got a hell of a vibe and they're not even ready. My partner is like 'oh hell yeah' and gets out their crochet project. (we're in our mid twenties I don't know why this particular day makes us sound like we're in our eighties)

Anyways, I tell them that the author also does MDZS content so we can check that out after our IWTV fic and then we start reading the story and it's very good-- they have to hold up a hand to make me stop reading because they're cry-laughing, and all is well. And then suddenly I go.... wait. Wait, hang on. Hang on, I have to check this person's profile. This is a little too familiar.

And my partner says "Wait. Is this the MDZS writer-" and I say "I don't know I'm checking, hang on" and then I look up and we make eye contact and I'm like "oh my god babe it's the Meng Yao writer."

Essential Background: Meng Yao is my favourite MDZS character and it's hard to find good fics for him. A couple of years ago, my partner was reading the HOA fic and gushing about it, I was insisting that 'an act too often neglected' was simply the best MDZS fic that could ever be written, and we were absolutely shocked to discover they had an author in common, and then a while later there was ANOTHER fic I started reading out loud to my partner because it was That Good and it turned out to ALSO be the same author, so we just started calling them 'The Meng Yao writer' aka the only person we trust to write him.

Basically what I'm saying is that whenever either of us reads anything you've written, it's so goddamn good that we end up sharing it with each other and not realizing that it's the Same Author every time. So. I'm buying one of your books for my partner's next birthday I guess because you're clearly just That Good. Thank you for the multiple years of enjoyable fics and the consistent joy you're bringing to our household. Also I want to eat up your Daniel Molloy characterization with a knife and fork. Thank you.

This is the most delightful ask that it is possible to get. I am giggling and kicking my feet and grinning ear to ear. This is so sweet.

This is also so fucking funny to me. "The Meng Yao writer" ahhh my legacy. The arguing over which fic is better until the moment you realize they're both mine. The way you keep finding my fics and independently discovering every time that they're Finally Some Good Fucking Food without having learned my AO3 name at some point during that process until the third or fourth time i have jumpscared you with it dfghjkkdfghjkfghj Ariaste/Alexandra Rowland is everywhere, they're in your walls, they're currently standing right behind you actually ghjklwwghjwkl;

BLESS YOU AND YOUR PARTNER, your relationship sounds honestly ideal. I hope you keep reading fics and crocheting together forever.

Also very flattered that you're taking a swing with my original works! Thank you!! They are all set in the same world but they're usually (so far) about different characters, so as you read more of them you're going to start catching some fun cross-references between them. My thirteenth book comes out next month, so here's some good places to start based on the fics you've pointed out that you've particularly liked:

if you want more laughing-until-you-are-crying-and-have-to-stop-because-you-genuinely-cannot-breathe content (a la "different for vampires", HOAverse (Meng Yao and the Board of the Homeowners Association), or any of my other high comedic fics), start with RUNNING CLOSE TO THE WIND. It's about queer pirates accidentally stealing and trying to find a buyer for the most valuable secret in the world, and standing up against institutional hegemony. Also horny sea serpents. Also a plot-relevant cake competition. If you cried laughing at any of my fics in the past, you are not prepared for what I'm about to do to you here.

if you are enjoying the Snarky Old Man content that is Daniel Molloy and his disquisitions on the nature of storytelling and truth-seeking in "different for vampires", go for A CONSPIRACY OF TRUTHS, which has more of both of those things. It's about an elderly wandering storyteller who has been imprisoned on charges of witchcraft, treason, and brazen impertinence, and the stories he tells to rescue himself from the situation. And the corrupt government he accidentally knocks over along the way, whoops

If you liked the yearning, sweeping romance of the main pairing in "an act too often neglected", try A TASTE OF GOLD AND IRON, which is about an Exquisitely Beautiful Prince with a chronic anxiety disorder and his Stoic Beefy Bodyguard as they attempt to track down a coin counterfeiting ring that could bring down their whole economy, and also they fall in love along the way.

My next book, YIELD UNDER GREAT PERSUASION (out in September), is also great for that sweeping romance vibe, but preorders are not quite up yet! If you are looking for a cozy M/M romantasy about a prickly, grouchy tea shop owner, his childhood nemesis who he's been fucking since they were teenagers, and the hard, unglamorous journey of personal growth toward self-love and self-forgiveness to be able to accept love from other people... Watch this space, get on my Discord server (where i am these days constantly ranting about IWTV in a dedicated thread), or sign up for my newsletter linked on my website

Thank you again for the entirely LOVELY ask, I will be beaming all day. Please give your partner a high five from me, I hope the two of you enjoy the books (and if you want to get autographed copies for their birthday, hit me up in DMs and we can get that sorted out)!

Also, there will be a new chapter of "different for vampires" going up in the next hour or so :D

[incandescentflower]

I am officially on board with Century of Love. Honestly, I was from the beginning, but I am now caught up. I personally love mythology that is completely surprising and out and out bonkers, and serves to set up good emotional conflict.

We have curses and deaging (which congrats to the young actor who somehow can channel Daou's "I'm done with this shit" expression) and nightly suffering in the name of love. Every little peel back of this story has been so fun.

And top it all off with the straight out of fanfiction story that Vee's presence is what can sooth San's physical (manifestation of emotional) pain.

It uses tropes in such fun ways, the big and the small. I don't think I've ever enjoyed the accidental fall on each other trope as much as I did in ep 3 . I was howling with laughter. I love that they don't take themselves too seriously and they used this, not as a big romantic moment, but as an awkward situation we get to watch San squirm though haha

I'm also excited (trying to tamp it down a little) that it seems like we are going to get some exploration of what really makes someone them - what makes up the totality of a person. San is convinced Vee is not Wat. But Wat was a rich woman in the 1920s and Vee is a poor man in the 2020s. Wat had to be a lot of things that San says she was because of expectations on her. Vee has had other experiences that would make him act differently - and he points that out - the time they live in allows for that.

(as a side note, I love the socio-economic flip that is happening in the present with San being well-established and wealthy and Vee struggling and lower class)

But even if they seem very different, Vee still is so incredibly kind in the same ways we saw Wat being. Vee wanted to help kid-San as soon as he saw him, he is almost singularly focused on taking care of his grandmother. He put those dudes who were stabbed into the taxi (what?? okay fine show whatever) and that was pretty much exactly what Wat did for San when she met him??

San is definitely not the exact same person as he was 100 years ago before he spent years of searching and suffering, coping with a devastating loss of the one he loved. A lived life does change a person, but do those things change the central core of who we are and what another person may fall in love with? I would love if this show grapples with that. To me that would be a fun twist on "the reincarnated lovers have the exact same dynamic and pick up exactly where they left off" story that often happens in dramas.

Whipped cream on top is that I also love San's descendants (at least the ones who live with him) and this very Goblin (kdrama) vibe of "care-taking the immortal" relationship San has going on with them.

The mix of levity and mythology and high stakes in this show is really quite delightful. I'm pretty psyched about it.

[lookingforhappy]

TUA: Young Blood Review??

yeah idk what to call this but I wanna talk about this book so bad so here's my thoughts

General (Spoiler Free) Review

It's pretty good! solidly between Okay and Good on my rankings which is honestly a really good outcome for me as I was worried it was going to be much worse.

There's some continuity errors with the lore the show has established (I will go over this later), but they're not glaring, just vaguely annoying because there's some pretty easy ways to fix them (I'll also explain later). But there's also some more fun additions to the lore that's in keeping with the show and the characters.

(there were also quite a few typos that were missed but it wasn't overwhelming, just noticeable enough that they probably should have caught them before they were published - at least one sentence is missing a word and several words are spelt wrong including in one instance the name of one of the OCs)

I could list all the aspects of it that are "okay" but I think u get the picture. in all honesty it's fairly unobtrusive which again, for me, is glowing praise lmao.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book despite all of the issues (that I will pull apart beneath the read more). In fanfiction terms I think it's best described as "fluff" as not much really happens but it's an interesting exploration of the Umbrella's, their powers, and their attitudes in the months before Ben's death.

major spoilers review under the cut ↓

and now, we shall tear this bitch apart lol

Continuity Errors

There's only one big issue that I have and that is the Umbrella's knowing that there were other children born on 1st October 1989. which they repeatedly refer to as october 1st children in the book.

The Hargreeves don't know that there's others, outside of the 7 of them, born with powers to mothers who weren't pregnant. They believe, and were likely told or manipulated by Reginald into believing, that he adopted all of the special children.

as is said in 2x10:

Lila is the first of the other 43 (+?) kids that they meet and is the one to reveal that there were others born with powers like them.

In the book, the Hargreeves' all know that there were other children born with powers (ch23 pg 164). and it's not a throw away line as a big part of the plot is that they meet Ryan, another of the 43.

which... kind of annoying and easily fixable. here's how I would've worked around this issue while still preserving the plot:

Ryan's powers are the ability to determine and gift powers to others. He is unable to gift himself powers and unable to gift new powers, change powers, or remove the powers of the 43. His powers also require a fair amount of effort on his part, as well as his physical touch to bestow them. When he uses his powers, and when those he's gifted with powers use them, earthquakes occur in that persons vicinity and toxic (flammable) dust appears in the air.

note the dust, the dust is the crux of my fix:

Instead of the Umbrella's realising that Ryan is one of the 43 due to prior knowledge, have them blame the powers on the dust making them hallucinate. Once the firefighters arrive and begin evacuating and putting out the fires after Ryan is dealt with, have them blame the hallucinations vanishing on the dissipating of the dust.

Or, have Reginald pose this to the Umbrella's and manipulate them into believing his story rather than their own eyes.

To prevent the universally disliked "it was all a dream" trope have Ryan's existence as a member of the 43 be confirmed to the reader through another POV, such as a third party, Reginald, Pogo or Grace.

Other/Minor Continuity Errors

The siblings consistently refer to Reginald as "Hargreeves" when in the show they almost always call him "Dad"

Diego says he painted his room black because he likes the colour black, but in the show his room is white/greenish with blue and brown wooden accents

Diego also says he hates the Umbrella Academy uniform and that he thinks it's too "cute" and that they should wear black uniforms instead... but in the show, the uniform changed styles between 2002 and 2006 to be a black spandex/leather thing

and Luther continues to wear a version of this outfit into his young adulthood

Since this book is set in 2006, the year that Ben dies, that doesn't give the Umbrella's much time to change (and for this to be one of the outfits that Allison remembers well enough to recall with Claire).

Ben is also a strange case in this book as his powers are more readily described, yet his powerset/style is more consistent with Sparrow Ben or with the new trailer than the actual Umbrella Ben.

The first issue is that Umbrella Ben's powers are only seen 2 - 3 times, but he uses them in a specific way each time:

he lifts/opens his shirt

the horror only comes out through his stomach

he seems to have little or no control over the tentacles themselves

he seems to be in pain or to be struggling each time

he doesn't seem able to move once he summons the tentacles

so it seems that this is the most effective way that Ben is able to use his powers,

however, Sparrow Ben's powers are a lot more controlled:

he is able to control indivdual tentacles with finesse

he doesn't need to lift his shirt but instead summons the portal over the top of his clothes

is not in visible pain or discomfort while summoning them

he is not stuck to one position while using his powers but instead uses them to traverse his environment

and in the s4 trailer his powers seem to have changed even more:

his tentacles are now emerging from his back, not his stomach

he is fully suspended in the air, his weight only supported by the tentacles

now, the Ben in this book has:

tentacles that emerge from his back

is suspended mid air by said tentacles at least twice

has the finesse to use his tentacles to pull a fighting Luther and Diego apart with injuring them.

He also rips his shirt everytime he summons the tentacles and has openings sewn into his uniform by mom to allow them to exit.

obviously this is a strange merging of all three Bens so far which ends in the continuity issue of Umbrella Ben's powers being more refined in this book, set months or weeks before his death, than they ever were while he was that bit older, and dead.

The book also makes a big deal about them not being able to wear anything other than the uniform, but Allison has a lot of clothes in her room as a kid and is seen wearing casual clothes in multiple magazines and posters

aside from Five, it's implied that all the others have casual clothes and are allowed to wear what they want during their free time.

Other Gripes

these aren't particularly big issues but they are choices that I don't personally agree with. If you enjoy/ed these choices then fair play.

I'm not personally fond of the use of the name Viktor and he/him pronouns in a prequel setting, as I'd prefer realism rather than pretending he's always been Viktor. plus I feel like we all know that he's Viktor. But he doesn't yet, and neither does anyone else. So to have Viktor consider why he dislikes the name "Viktor" and wants to change it is a little strange and not very well articulated when the name they're talking about is "Vanya".

I respect that Elliott Page prefers this attitude towards his identity pre-transition but in the context of fiction, and of Viktor specifically, I find it a little unneccesary and overly complicated.

Ben also "dies" temporarily on this mission and the medical inaccuracy continues to bug me.

s1 was so good at showing that they're still human and prone to injury. Diego ends up in a sling because of a bullet nick and Five is caught in an explosion he set off. But in the book Ben falls maybe 4 stories and is unresponsive, so Allison begins CPR without checking for a pulse or breathing. Ben is resuscitated almost immediately and has almost no complications from literally being dead after falling from that height.

It's not only completely disregarding the themes season 1 set, but also a really quite tacky fake-out.

The kids also drive to the party but forget the car and walk back in less time than it took to drive, and without shoes in Allison's case.

Grace is treated as though she is non-sentient. after all of the work and love and care that season 1 poured into showing that Grace did develop sentience, and the ability to love, to see her treated by every member of the academy (Diego isn't innocent either, though he is the nicest) as a machine is saddening.

in s1 she is trapped behind programming and unable to voice her opinions because of that. not because she wasn't sentient. her sentience and love for her children does peek through until she is eventually set free by Diego and Pogo.

her hint to Luther and Allison that she dissapproved of Reginald

her expressing her feelings of longing and loneliness through the painting she imitates

and then her immediately escaping the house with Diego to get out from under Pogo's watch and to confess her part in Reginald's plan

she is so much more than a robot that doesn't understand jokes, movie references, glitches when asked a question she doesn't know the answer to, and throws away clothes that her kids might want.

Ryan himself felt very underdeveloped. We know his powers, and that he's a very good manipulater/public speaker. We also know that he likes Bach and beer, but not modern music. He's lonely and trying to surround himself with friends and those loyal to him by gifting everyone powers.

but all we know of his origins is that he's from a small town called Dobbsville just upstate from the Academy. He dislikes his "friends" from there as they treated him like the only one without powers, and has a bad enough relationship with his family/guardians that he ran away to the City and gifted enough people powers that they let him live in their college dorm (probably illegally and) for free.

We don't know his last name, his family situation, the reason he ran away from home and towards the Academy when he feels fightened and threatened by them. etc etc.

He feels so open and undefined... it's so strange.

Good Things

because I did actually enjoy this book and maybe let's end on some compliments instead

Diego discovered his powers aged 2 & a half by throwing a knife and perfectly shattering a glass - and Reginald being pleased about it

Reginald told Viktor when he was 12 to take a pill anytime he felt uncomfortable - explaining why Viktor takes his pills after emotional upset rather than at a specific time in s1

The scene where they got dressed for the party was fun, I loved the rationale for their outfits and that Allison and Luther were dressed according to the old movies they'd watched rather than anything people would usually wear to parties.

Reginald manipulating them into going to the party just to neutralise Ryan. despite the continuity errors I loved that Reginald knew all along. I was about to be disappointed that they'd gone the route of making him oblivious but I loved this twist.

The Academy becoming unpopular due to Five's disappearance - he seems to be thought of as dead by the public which made them realise that they're not a "cute" organisation and then the support waned considerably until there's barelyanyone left who cares.

[magnificentstrawberryomen]

Red Is The Color Of His Secret: Chapter four (Noah Sebastian fanfiction)

Authors note: just aaaaalll the feels came flooding over me as I wrote this chapter. all of them. 😩 u've been warned. also, if u want to get taglisted in new chapters, let me know!

--

Chapter four

I focus my eyes on Nicholas again as I answer him, my heartbeat quickening as I have decided that I want to unravel the mystery that is Noah Sebastian Davis. 

‘That is… both interesting and strange,’ I say. I must admit, this party has been one hell of a ride so far and only forty minutes have passed. Jesus. 

‘I think I need another drink… you need some too?’ I then ask Nicholas, nodding at his almost empty cup, but he politely shakes his head at me.

‘I’m good, thank you. I usually don’t drink too much,’ he says with a small smile, and I nod as I mirror the same kind smile. I like him. 

We wave each other goodbye after, and I make my way towards the table full of even more drinks, clearly being added by Nick and Jolly. I stare at it whilst slightly biting my lip, both deciding which drink I want to get next and thinking about everything Nicholas has just told me about Noah. 

When I then finally have decided what I want to drink, I now pour a slightly stronger drink into my cup, sipping it in thought as I then sit down on an empty, dark blue leather couch opposite of the table.

I can feel some pair of eyes on me, and as I follow the feeling, I catch Noah looking at me, his stare intense and full of emotions I can’t quite unravel for myself, it being way too many. But it definitely makes me feel some time of way, making me quickly look away from him as I get flustered for the millionth damn time this night.

Then, I take my phone out of my purse with a sigh, scrolling as I take another few sips of my drink. Honestly, parties suck when you don’t know many people, no matter how wasted you get. 

Just when I get stuck on a thread on Twitter about the strangest tweets people have deleted, a tall shadow hovers over me, making me look up from my phone. Noah stands in front of me and greets me with a small smile and wave, then sits next to me on the couch. It’s not quite broad, at least not for two people, causing him to sit so close to me that our arms almost touch, and I’m able to breathe in his nice cologne. My heart makes a little jump at us sitting so close right now, causing me to nervously swallow. His knees have to bend pretty high as it’s just too low for his tall figure, which makes me let out a small, quiet giggle before I greet him back with the same small wave.

It makes a small smirk form on his lips, his eyes slowly roaming over my body before meeting my eyes again. ‘Having fun?’

I sigh, needing to fight the urge to roll my eyes at his sarcastic question. ‘So much,’ I respond just as sarcastically, as I hold up my phone.

His smirk only grows just a little more, his eyes slowly flickering over to my phone. ‘Really? Looks to me like you’re bored shitless,’ he says bluntly in response, his eyes now going back to my face.

I can’t help but slightly smirk at his response, letting out a drunk giggle again after. ‘I am very much, yeah.’

The smirk on Noah’s lips slowly grows into his famous cocky smile. ‘Yeah? Can’t even manage to have a little fun at a party?’ he responds, shooting me a teasing grin, making it unable now to hold back an eye roll.

‘Maybe I could if the people here actually would be fun,’ I tease him back, scrunching my nose up with disgust when my eyes rest on Skylar for a moment.

Noah lets out a small chuckle, following my gaze to Skylar. He then sighs and rolls his eyes as well. ‘Ugh, don’t get me started on her. Biggest bimbo I’ve ever seen,’ he groans, his arms now crossed in front of his chest.

My eyebrows slightly raise at that comment, but also because I feel a lot of amusement going through me when he calls Skylar that, and I try to fight back a grin. ‘Oh really now?’

He nods in response, his signature cocky smirk returning on his lips. ‘Yeah, her and a bunch of other girls here only care about looks, popularity, and parties. She’s a goddamn airhead and a half. Can’t even hold a proper conversation.’

I can’t help but let out a loud laugh at that, shaking my head in even bigger amusement. ‘Oh, I believe you in that,’ I mumble back, narrowing my eyes at Skylar hanging all over some guy. Of course. 

He lets out a half-scoff, his own brown eyes flickering over to Skylar once more. ‘She’s the definition and embodiment of a damn airhead. I don’t even get why so many guys seem to be so whipped for her.’

I shrug at that, deciding to fire a comment at him, just to get him back a little. ‘Don’t get it either. I mean, you have to get it just a little right?’ I say, as I think back of the picture of them together.

Noah stiffens a little upon hearing that, hesitating for a moment before letting out a dry chuckle, his confident smirk returning to his lips again. ‘What are you getting at there, nerd girl?’

I shrug again, a small smile on my lips as I then take a sip of my drink. ‘Nothing.’

He lets out another dry chuckle at that, his grin turning oh so cocky once again. ‘Bullshit. You’re definitely implying something there, princess.’

‘Princess, huh?’ I reply with a sly smile, the nickname stirring a pang of something by hearing his new nickname for me, making my heart skip a slight beat. 

His grin only grows more at the way I react to the pet name, letting another low chuckle again, scooting a little closer to me, his muscular leg now barely inches apart from yours. And not only my face, but my whole damn body is set on fire as I feel the slight touch, my heart beating even faster. 

‘I only call smartass and pretty girls princess,’ he teases, winking at me. My face must be a goddamn tomato because of that, Jesus Christ-why do I find him so damn hot all of a sudden?

I clear my throat, squeezing my thick thighs together for a moment, trying to collect myself together. ‘Sure,’ I mumble back, taking a few sips of my drink again.

‘Don’t believe me, princess?’ Noah replies, his leg slowly creeping closer to mine again, his knee now almost pressed against my thigh. 

I just mock his words underneath my breath as I try my hardest to keep my cool now that I feel us touch even more, my breathing a bit quicker and my hand slightly trembling. And of course, that encourages him to scoot even closer to me, practically glued against my side at this point, his knee now fully against my thigh, the warmth of his body now seeping through my own as he leans in to whisper in my ear. 

‘What was that?’ he murmurs, causing a whole flood of fire and… maybe something else to appear in me. His voice is low, deep and clear as it is so close to my hearing, his breath softly stroking the skin of my neck, making a shiver go down my spine. 

‘Nothing, chump boy,’ I then fire and tease back, hiding my little smile behind my cup. He lets out a small chuckle again, his hand slowly moving over towards my thigh, his large and calloused hand gently pressing down against the soft flesh. 

‘Oh, you’re a feisty one,’ he says and I hear his stupid smirk in his voice.

And fuck-just… fuck. His touch has way more effect on it then it should have, and I slightly wiggle underneath his hand to try to subtly get it off me, it being way too intense for me. 

‘I… I just called you by your usual nickname. Nothing new,’ I mumble back in response, my gaze now going to the people in the room, trying to distract myself from his touch and the way he is so close to me, just like his lips still against my ear.

Noah slowly moves his hand upwards on my thigh, gently grasping the supple flesh underneath the fabric of my dress as his hot breath fans against my ear again.

‘I’m not even doing anything, princess,’ he says about my response to his indeed still light touch, leaning in even closer to me, his body now fully and completely pressed against mine. 

I squeeze my eyes shut for a moment, his embrace and the hold he has on me driving me absolutely insane, lighting a fire inside of me that has never met its lighting match before, something I have never experienced before as well.

‘I… completely forgot that I would leave the party, actually,’ I then blurt out, causing his brows to rise. ‘Yeah. Because it’s… boring. And I have better things to do in… my room,’ I then continue, stumbling over my words, my cheeks heating up because I know my excuse is just… lame.

Noah lets out a small and almost amused chuckle again, his free hand now resting on the couch’s backrest, just behind my head. ‘Better things to do in your room, huh?’

My eyes now shoot back to him, slightly widening, scared that I might gave him the wrong idea with that. ‘Which you’re still not invited to, by the way.’

He lets out an amused laugh once again, his hand still firmly grasping my soft and warm thigh. ‘Aww… Why not, princess?’ he says, his stupid cocky smirk on his lips again, his voice having an almost fake and whiny tone to it. ‘Afraid I’ll do something… naughty to you?’

A pang shoots through my stomach, it heating up and fluttering like some crazy butterfly cage is getting opened and they escape out of it, all at once. My eyes widen even more at his words, and I feel myself getting more and more flustered by the second. 

‘N-no, I just… like my privacy,’ I then stammer, my heart hammering into my chest. 

His stupid smirk only grows bigger by seeing how I react to his words, his hand slowly creeping higher and higher up my thigh, his body then practically pinning me against the couch as he leans even closer. He lets out a low and deep chuckle, his breath gently fanning against my ear once again. ‘You sure? You’re getting pretty damn red right now.’

My breath hitches in my throat even more, and I try to swallow the big lump there away, my chest rising up and down as my eyes flicker over his face, still looking so damn attractive with the dim lights now being switched to red again falling over it. 

‘That’s just because of… the alcohol,’ I then squirm as it must be half of the truth though, trying not to let out a whimper because of his hand getting dangerously high on my thigh. 

His eyes grow a little darker as his fingers then slowly draw small circles on my sensitive place, slowly and gently squeezing at the plush and juicy flesh once again. His mouth is still close to my ear, speaking to it again with his smooth and low voice.

‘You sure, though? Looks like you’re flustered as hell right now.’

Panic now rushes through me as well, as I realize he has me exactly where he wants. Even though I like his touch more than I should admit, his fingers still circling on my thigh, making electricity shoot through every inch of my body, I shouldn’t trust his moves, let alone lean into it. Especially when Jolly’s text from earlier today runs through my mind again-what if everything Noah is doing right now is some kind of game to him and his friends? To see who gets ‘nerd girl’ first, a classic story I’ve heard way too many times?

‘I-I should go,’ I then stammer, pushing him off me asI quickly stand up again and stroke my dress neat, making me feel a little light headed because of the alcohol still swimming through my veins, causing me to stumble for a moment, but I catch myself right on time so I can get the hell away from here.

And even though I hear him call back for me behind me, I keep on walking, almost tripping over my own damn sneakers as I try to make my way out of the room, just wanting to get out of here. 

As I keep on walking, and walking, and walking, panic shoots through me even more-I can’t seem to get my way back to my own direction of campus, making me feel lost as I probably walk around in circles at some point. My drunken state doesn’t fucking help with this. 

Tears begin to sting in my eyes, and with a deeply frustrated sigh I just burst through the first door I can find, sending the sky a quick, heartfelt thank you as the random dorm is not locked, so I go inside and shut the door behind me, resting my head against it as my chest is heavily moving up and down.

Great, here I am, in some random ass dorm room of someone, having a damn panic attack. I slowly walk towards a bed I spot and sit down on it, the room still being dark and only being lit up slightly by the street lanterns outside. I burrow my face into my hands as I then let out some quiet sobs, and someway somehow I can’t ignore the scent that his room has, it being oddly familiar for some reason.

After I cried for a little, I guess out of frustration, humiliation and just the alcohol making me feel all my emotions way stronger, I remove my hands off my face, silently cursing at myself as I see mascara stripes on them. Great, that means that my face must be messed up with it, and no way I can leave this room now. At least not until I find something to get it the fuck off my face.

Then, I hear footsteps sounding through the hallway, coming dangerously close, making me panic all over again, biting my lip in distress. Well shit. How the hell do I have to explain to the person that is probably headed to this room why I am here in their room, crying because of a stupid boy, his stupid friends, that stupid slutty Skylar girl and just my stupid self right now? 

The door handle is being turned, and I hear the door now cracking open, making me glad that my back is turned to the door so I can wipe my last tear quickly away with the palm of my hand. 

‘Sorry,’ I sniff, trying to laugh off the situation. Maybe it is funny, but it’s probably just because of alcohol. ‘I’m sorry that I’m just sitting here in your room… It was open, and I just… had to calm down,’ I then further explain to the person. 

‘It’s… It’s alright,’ the person behind me says, still standing beside the door, and my heart seems to stop beating for a moment-it’s the familiar soft voice of Noah talking back to me, making my eyes widen for a moment. Of course. Of course the first room I can find unlocked to calm down… is Noah’s damn room. 

I now slowly turn around, seeing him leaning against the door frame, an amused yet also worried look on his face as his arms are crossed over his chest as usual. He takes me in for a moment, sitting on his bed, his eyes roaming over my mascara covered face. I sigh, and slowly get up to my still slightly unsteady feet.

‘Well, this is not at all embarrassing,’ I then mumble, stroking my dress neat. ‘I’ll… leave you in your room. Sorry.’

Noah lets out a low chuckle with still the same emotions in his eyes, still studying my form with a slight curious look as well. He then slowly pushes himself off the doorframe when I’m about to leave, walking over to me and carefully grabbing my wrist with his fingers. 

‘Hey… wait a moment,’ he softly says, and my eyes look from his grip around my waist back to his eyes again, blinking a little as slight embarrassment is still on my face, but also curiosity now.

He lets out a soft sigh as he sees my gaze flick back to him, his hand still gently and delicately wrapped around my wrist. ‘You’re not leaving just yet,’ he then tells me, his eyes roaming over my mascara smudged face. ‘Sit back down, princess.’

A slight nervous pang fills my stomach as he says that, my heart fluttering again as I hear him giving me that damn nickname again. I then just nod, his fingers slowly releasing my wrist as I slowly sit down back on his bed, causing him to sit down next to me. His eyes take me in again, seeming to hesitate for a moment before he his fingers then gently grab my chin, slowly tilting my head to make me face him completely. My heartbeat hammers just as madly as it did before at the party when we were so close on the couch together.

‘What… What is it?’ I then slowly ask Noah. He gently runs his thumb over the underside of my chin, stroking the soft skin there, starting to wipe the mascara away there. 

‘Why were you crying?’

My nostrils flare up as he asks me that, embarrassment again boiling up all over inside of me like some kind of stupid tea flute. My eyes flicker down as I then softly reply to him. ‘Just… this whole party I guess. It was intense.’

Noah gently tilts my chin up again, so I have no choice but to look at him. ‘What do you mean… intense?’ he asks, his voice having a strangely gentle undertone now, and I don’t understand why he cares so much about my wellbeing now.

I shrug at his question. ‘The attention, I guess… people staring at me… people suddenly noticing me, but not in the way I want.’ I then pause, swallowing as I look at him for a moment. ‘You.’

He lets out a soft sigh and gentle hum, as he hears and sees the way I explain my feelings. ‘Me? What about me?’ he then wants to know, his fingers still gently holding my chin in place.

My goddamn cheeks flush up again, and I swear, at this point I just wish that function of my body didn’t work, and of course his slightly widening grin shows how amused he is by that, as he always is. 

‘Just… You… We-’ I stammer out, not being able to get out a proper sentence for a moment. I then take a deep breath, trying again, as my hands nervously fiddle with the fabric of my dress. ‘You were just… really close to me. And touchy. And stuff.’

He lets out a soft, amused chuckle. ‘And… did you not like the way I was being close… and touchy?’ he asks, his voice having a more teasing tone now.

My eyes now shoot away from him once again, not being able to physically look at him as I answer. ‘I… don’t know…’

Noah tilts his head a little to the side as he looks at me, his smirk widening. ‘You don’t know…? What do you mean, you don’t know?’

I groan in response, now covering my face with both my hands. ‘Because… I don’t know!’ I sigh in frustration. ‘I… never really felt this way before. The way I felt when you touched me, I mean. It’s confusing. It’s new.’

Gently, he places his fingers over my wrist again, pulling my hands away from my face. ‘You’ve never felt this way…?’ he repeats me, his eyes tracing over my face again.

I madly blush at him, as our eyes now lock again, his dark brown eyes glinting in a pretty way in the dark of his room, the street lights reflecting against them. I then slowly shake my head in embarrassment. ‘No. I mean… I know what it means, I guess. But nobody really… made me react that way. Inside.’

A soft sigh escapes from Noah yet again, his fingers still wrapped around my wrists. ‘Nobody… made you react this way?’ he repeats me once again, as he slowly leans in a bit closer to me.

I shake my head at his question, my heart drumming madly at his close movement. His eyes still trace over every part of my face, his eyes lingering on the way I then slightly swallow. 

‘You sure no one else has ever made you this worked up like that before?’ he gently mumbles, his fingers slowly releasing my wrists. 

‘Mhm,’ I squirm in response, my voice coming out all high pitched and cracked because I become a nervous mess by the way his face is so close to me now, almost being able to feel the way he breathes through his nose.

Yes, it’s embarrassing to admit-compared to Noah, I have little to no experience with… intimacy. I have kissed before, not all too wild or exciting or anything, but more than that? Nope.

Once again he grabs the underside of my chin again, forcing me to look up at him again, his eyes gentle yet curious. ‘You’ve kissed before, at least?’ he asks me, his voice almost a whisper now.

‘I-I have,’ I softly respond, now being able to hear my  crazed heartbeat in my own ears at this point. ‘Just not… not…’

Noah watches intently how my cheeks slowly flush again, noticing the way I hesitate on my next words, his eyebrows gently arching as he looks at me silently for a moment, waiting for me to continue. His hands then grab at my thighs now, gently as well, his warm palms touching my skin. ‘Not what, princess?’

I slightly whimper at his touch, a shaky breath escaping from my lips after. ‘I’ve never had sex before,’ I then blurt out, wanting to end myself right here, right now, just jumping out of his window or something, to run away from him-the embarrassment is killing me. 

Noah looks at me for a moment with a look I can’t quite explain, it being too many emotions at once it seems, and that kills me even more. 

‘Never?’ he then repeats after a silence, his voice being a mere whisper now.

‘Never,’ I reply, squeezing my eyes shut as I groan once again. ‘I know, it’s stupid! Like, it’s not that I never wanted to-I mean, I have touched myself many times before-wait-no, forget that, I just-’ I begin blurting out, stuttering over my words, just making it worse for myself, and I feel like the biggest idiot on the planet right now. 

I feel Noah’s grip on my thighs gently getting tighter, and he lets out a quiet chuckle to himself, and I carefully open my eyes again to look at him again. 

‘Forget what now?’ he then asks, his voice having a slightly teasing tone to it now, as his thumbs softly rub the skin of my thighs now.

‘That I just told you I do touch myself. Wait-fuck,’ I then curse, running my hands through my blonde locks in frustration. 

He can’t help but let out a laugh at that, a smirk still on his lips now that he sees I’m getting flustered more and more by my own words. 

‘Why are you flustered about telling me that?’ he then asks, teasingly stroking my thighs again. And his tone, his touch, and the way he looks at me just drives me insane, making it harder for me to focus and stay calm, a new weird kind of sensation stirring through my body all at once.

‘Because… it’s embarrassing to tell you?’ I respond, and it comes out more like a question. His eyes roam over my face for a moment again, before letting another soft laugh escape from his lips again. 

‘Why is it embarrassing to tell me in particular?’ he asks again, his tone being much lower now, and I get both annoyed and flustered by all his questions. My chest slightly rises up and down, feeling heat spreading through my whole body now because of all the damn nerves attacking me. 

‘Because… well… you’re you… and I’m… me. You’re way out of my league, and I am just ‘nerd girl’, your homework tutor, just some girl that must not be interesting or something to you, compared to all the other girls you can get.. that are way better looking than me,’ I respond, my voice becoming softer with each sentence, heart slowly aching at my honest, painful truth. 

Noah’s eyebrows gently furrow into a slight frown as a hint of pain flashes in his eyes. ‘You think I’m… out of your league?’

I let out a confusing, painful laugh, as if the answer to that question isn’t obvious, causing him to frown further somehow. ‘Uhm, yeah,’ I respond, my voice sounding duh-like.

 ‘Like… look at you,’ I then add, waving my hand up and down at him and his body, his gorgeous looks. ‘And then look at me,’ I say, pointing at myself, a sad smile on my face as I then push my glasses back on the bridge of my nose again.

Noah’s eyes slowly roam up and down my whole body again, looking over every part of me before looking in my eyes again. ‘And what do you think I’m seeing?’ he asks me in a soft tone.

‘A boring, too big looking, average girl?’ I answer him, more questioningly, as if the answer is again obvious. The frown in his forehead only gets deeper as I say that. 

‘You think you look… boring? Too big and average?’ he repeats, his voice still being a soft whisper, his frow now being mixed with disbelief. I look at him the same way now, surprised as well, my heart making a slight jump at his words, not really seeing them coming. 

‘Yeah…?’

He gently tightens his grip on my thighs once more, almost forcing me again to keep looking at me, his eyes still inspecting my face. ‘You… really think that you look… average?’

I shrug at his question, as if the answer is obvious-logic, normal, a fact. ‘I mean… Well, yeah. Nobody looks at me for a reason, right?’ I answer him, trying to smile it away, but inside I’m quite hurting. ‘Besides… how could they, I guess. I’m like, what? Twice the size of more than half of the girls walking around here?’ I mumblingly add.

Noah can’t seem to help but wince slightly as I talk again, hearing how I explain my answer to him. His eyes are tracing over me for a moment before he speaks.

 ���Is that… really what you think?’

‘It’s not what I think… it’s what I know,’ I quietly answer him, it being an unchangeable fact in my mind at this point throughout the years.

His dark brown eyes keep gently stare back in my eyes for a few long moments before he speaks back. ‘May I ask you something?’

I slowly nod at him, feeling my heart slowly beginning to sink and ache more and more, because this topic is quite painful for me. His warm hands slowly rub up and down my skin, before he asks me his question.

‘Have you… ever looked in the mirror and thought that you’re pretty?’

I laugh at his question, it somehow being my first response, but when I see his face looking serious with his question, I quickly stop, swallowing. 

‘I don’t know… I mean… maybe? Does finding myself looking acceptable for the day count?’

He continues to softly and gently rub my thighs up and down, as if he is trying to comfort me through this conversation. ‘So you’ve never thought to yourself… that you’re pretty?’

I shrug, nervously fumbling with the edge of my dress once again, my eyes looking down at it again, the question being a little too confronting. I feel Noah gently but firmly grab my chin with the fingers of his other hand, forcing me to look up at him once again. 

‘Demi, I want an answer, please,’ he softly says, and the way he uses my actual name makes it clear that he takes our conversation seriously. I sigh deeply, getting frustrated by his questions, but most of all because I know I find them hard to answer, because the honest truth can come out-the truth I always try to bury and push away, like it’s fine, like it’s nothing and unimportant. 

‘Maybe not really for a really, really long time, no.’

His thumb now softly runs along my chin now, his other hand continuing to grip my thigh. ‘Why not?’

‘Because… I just, I don’t know. I feel insecure because I don’t see a lot of girls here, or just in general, like me-’ I pause to look up and down at my body, ‘getting a lot… positive attention. Compliments, love, like the way skinnier girls do. Or just… girls who find their education important here. Actually wanting to go somewhere with their life then partying and hooking up every night, because if you don’t you get called a prude or what not. Only when you show skin and are reckless, you seem to get attention from someone-from boys,’ I softly explain, his intense gaze still on me as he listens.

‘It makes me feel like I don’t fit in because of something so stupid, illogical, like that. Like, I am more than the body underneath this stupid dress,’ I then add with a loud, frustrated sigh, tugging at the fabric. ‘It’s stupid that I, as a plus sized girl, only gets to feel important as a boy finally does look my way when I decide to show more skin for example. Like I wasn’t interesting before that, or didn’t matter.’

As he then just looks at me when I am done talking with a even deeper frown, I feel my cheeks heat up for the millionth fucking time this evening, making me quickly stand up from his bed.

‘Yeah, I know, it all sounds stupid,’ I sadly laugh as I wipe a few tears away that seemed to have escaped, nervously starting to pace around his room after.

Noah stands up as well, staying a few feet away from me, his eyes following me silently, almost as if he’s afraid to approach me right now. 

‘It’s not stupid,’ he then quietly mutters.

His words slowly make me stand still, looking a little taken back at him, my heart making a little warm jump.

‘It’s… not?’

He takes a small step closer to me, his eyes staying locked with mine. He frowns a little at my words, gently shaking his head. ‘It’s not,’ he assures me again. 

Then, he slowly reaches his arms out towards me, inviting me into his embrace. ‘Come here,’ he instructs me softly. 

I look him up and down, a bit unsure, as if I have to ask him with my eyes for a moment that he is sure that he wants to hug me. He silently nods at me, looking at me like he is hurting for me that I have to feel this way, also with a pleading look to close the distance between me and him. 

‘Please,’ Noah adds in a soft tone.

My heart slowly melts at that, it then swelling up with warmth as I slowly let him wrap his muscular, tattooed arms around me, doing the same with my own arms around his body. First, I still feel a little unsure, but then slowly relax when his embrace feels safe, genuine and… comforting. 

Noah then suddenly also nuzzles his face into the crook of my neck, pressing his soft lips against the skin for a moment before speaking up again, making my heart nearly explode and pound madly at that. 

‘You’re not stupid for feeling that way, sweetheart,’ he mumbles against my skin. I silently nod at his words, feeling way too overwhelmed to be able to get a single word out. He tightens his grip around me even more after that, slowly pulling away from my neck, lifting his head a bit to look down at me again.

‘I want you to know that I think you’re gorgeous, Demi,’ he tells me softly, his now  warm and gentle eyes not looking away from mine. 

My eyes soften and glint with both flattery and sadness at that, almost with disbelief as he tells me that. 

‘Really?’ I stammer, and I swear to God, if he is messing with me right now…

Noah already quickly reassures me by slowly lifting up one of his hands and resting it on my cheek, gently stroking my skin with his thumb. ‘I’m serious,’ he mutters quietly. I slowly lean into the touch of his warm hand, it being soft and welcoming.

He gently cups my cheek, his brown eyes continuing staring  into my soft ones. ‘I mean it. You’re gorgeous,’ he reassures me once more, his voice being a low, soft, almost gentle murmur. 

I can’t help but feel myself tear up again, his words touching me, especially since they sound more honest and truthful than anyone ever has when telling me something like that. It almost seems unreal to me-standing in the arms of Noah himself, the most popular guy on campus, in his room, as he tells me that I am gorgeous. 

I can see at the way he looks at me now that he can tell how much his words touch me, as if he knows that I do not hear this very often, and it almost looks like his own heart seems to ache at it as well, just like mine does. 

‘You are gorgeous, you are with no kidding the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever seen,’ he mutters softly, continuing to caress my skin slowly, and I can’t help but let out a soft laugh at that now, shaking my head in disbelief.

‘I’m sorry, I just… find that so hard to believe. Like, you can get anyone, yet you are here with me in your room… while a party from Jolly is outside your door,’ I mumble, not even believing the whole scenario myself. 

‘I’ve seen some of the most pretty girls around here and in the world myself, and they don’t even come close to how beautiful you are to me. And frankly, I’d rather spend my evening in here with you, than out there with some of those stupid girls,’ he answers me, gently nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck again, pressing his lips against my skin once more, leaving me almost breathless as I slowly flutter my eyes shut, letting out a needy sigh before I can even stop myself. 

Noah lets out a low, almost inaudible groan when he hears my little sound, then softly begins to pepper kisses along the skin of my neck as if he already knows how much I enjoy the feeling, his body slowly coming to press against mine even more. The intensity nearly makes me choke for a second, the sensation shooting right to my core, causing another needy whine to leave my lips. God, what is even happening?

His hands slowly find their way lower, moving from my waist to slowly grip my hips instead, holding my body close to his even more. His lips trail down to my collar bone, beginning to slowly yet roughly kiss the skin, making me gasp. 

‘N-Noah,’ I stammer through his kisses, my legs starting to shake underneath his touch. ‘What… What are you doing?’

I feel him smirk against my skin, and he kisses his way back up to my neck, beginning to carefully suck on my skin now. ‘You just sound and look so good right now princess,’ he groans into my neck, causing a full on moan to leave my lips now, holding onto his muscular body even tighter, scared that I will fall through my goddamn shaky knees if I don’t do so. Is this really happening? Am I really letting this happen? Is Noah really feeling the mutual attraction to me too?

[killerandhealerqueen]

It's Love Letters Night! Send love and positivity to some of your favorite writers and bloggers!

@hyperbolicgrinch Jaz!!! You truly are my hype woman no matter the fandom and I am so grateful to have met you when Killer and Healer was airing because honestly, you really brighten up my day. Also, I really like your writing, even though we may not be in the same fandoms, and starting the ✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨ with you and Holly was so much fun

@theotherwhybietoldmeso Holly! My beloved! I know we only became friends this year but I am so grateful to have met you! You and Jaz are truly like the MVPs for dealing with me during this time of f1 hyperfixation (which I love, don't get me wrong) and hearing your nice feedback in the tags is always something to look forward to. Also, your fic ideas are so interesting and diverse and I love seeing the different fandoms you write for because of our ✨ weekend wip exposure club ✨

@clawbehavior Claw! My beloved! I know we're no longer in the same fandom, but it's always so fun to read your meta and tags and also see what sort of fanfictions you can come up with just from a simple post, drawing, or gifset. Your mind works a lot like mine creatively so it's so cool to see how your fics/ideas for fics come together and I'm always honored whenever you tag me in your fic ideas or come to me for advice with your fics. Truly so glad we met

@ahhhnorealnamesallowed Billie!!! Thank you for always being my sounding board for whenever I need someone to talk to about my fics because it's so easy to bounce ideas back and forth with you and you're always willing to be my second pair of eyes whenever I'm just fucking done with a fic. Also, thank you for always encouraging my ideas and for thinking that they're not too ambitious (because sometimes I worry that they are). So grateful to have met you when Killer and Healer was airing

@fourth-quartet Took! I know we really don't share fandoms anymore but it's always a delight to see you on my dash talking about things you're passionate about. Also, I really love your writing and will always support you in whatever you decide to write. I'm so glad we became friends when TDJ was airing

@kpopfantasywriter Jiejie! I know I haven't really come to you with fic ideas like I used to, but it's always so much fun to brainstorm fic ideas with you and it's always fun to read your little snippets that you sometimes post to the discord (I'm also very honored to be an OC in your fic, it's a lot of fun). Thank you for always sending me fic ideas/prompts and talking about fics with me, both on here and in the discord. I don't remember when we met but I'm really glad we became friends and have the relationship that we do

@dangermousie Mousie! I know you're not a writer but my god are you one of my favorite bloggers, I love your meta on different dramas and I feel like I'm watching them through you, which is a lot of fun because I get exposed to dramas that I would never actively seek out myself. Your commentary is also so fucking funny and makes me snort because I'd probably be saying the same damn thing too

@seonghwacore Ann! My baby! I know you don't write as much anymore but you are one of my favorite gifmakers and calling you my friend and my baby is like...just everything. Your gifsets for Killer and Healer were (and still are) legendary and your skills have only improved for Ateez and I'm proud to watch you grow. You're doing great, sweetie!

@nineninepetals Nine! I know you're not online as much anymore, but you deserve to be on this list and get this notification because I need you to know that you were and still are one of my biggest Killer and Healer cheerleaders and getting comments in my inbox both on here and on ao3 from you with a full on book report of your reaction to my fics is just...everything. I miss you and hope you are doing well and just know that I'm always thinking of you and I hope you come back to us one day

@marulo Maru! I also know that you're not online as much anymore, but I just wanted to let you know that I love you and miss you and hope you're doing well. You were also one of my biggest cheerleaders for my Killer and Healer fics and were always so supportive. I hope you're doing well and please just know that I miss you and I hope you come back to us one day

@evil-moonlight Jin! Of course you're on this list too! You're always so supportive of my fics and you're also just my biggest cheerleader in general and I really really appreciate you. Your writing is also super good and I hope you write more because damn girl you made feel things

@tytangfei Jina! The one who got me into Killer and Healer! Thank you for doing that, honestly, because that drama truly has changed my life and writing fanfiction for them as been both an honor and a dream. Also, your gifsets for Killer and Healer *chefs kiss*. Truly. They're the reason I got into the drama in the first place. Also, your writing...I hope you write more for them because your writing is so good...

@bestbuds55 Dana! I couldn't forget you too! Your writing is so good. I re-read your Killer and Healer fics all the time but have never dabbled into your Hannibal ones so I need to do that because the premises for them sound so interesting so I know I'm in for a treat

@mishathewtf Mish! Can't forget you either! You truly brighten both my dash and the discord both with your hilarious Killer and Healer memes (truly I think I've spat water while looking at them) as well as your other hyperfixations. Also, it's so fun playing those different games with you over discord because 1) they're interesting and something that I'd never actually play on my own and 2) they're just fun to play with others. Also, I have to thank you for being willing to put on LEGO Lord of the Rings over discord to help me calm my super bad anxiety...it really meant a lot and I know I told you at the time, but...I still think about it sometimes and it warms my heart

@sunriseverse Corset! Of course you're on here too! I love talking with you about fics and listening to you rant about your sunrise verse and honestly the work that you put into that thing is just...mind-boggling. It's so cool, honestly. Also, I love your fics for Couple of Mirrors and I'm so glad you wrote them because they are some of my faves (cuz I love that drama). Also, sending fic/writing questions back and forth to you is just so much fun, I love picking your brain about writing

@okifyouinsist Girl, I couldn't forget you. I know we've only been mutuals for such a short time, but you really have become my cheerleader in the f1 fanfic world and that really means a lot that you get so hyped over my little snippets that I post. I hope that our friendship can strengthen and that we'll be friends for a really long time

@friendlynbhddevil Sammy! I know we only became friends recently, but your love for Killer and Healer is almost as unmatched as mine, like we truly match each others freaks when it comes to those boys. I also love seeing you lose your mind over Beyond Evil cuz I too lost mine damn mind over that show...ugh, I'm just so glad we're friends. You really do brighten up my dash

Also, I know there are so many others who I'd love to put on this list, but then I'd practically be listing all of my mutuals so if your name is not on this list, please just know that I love you, I think about you, and you make my life so much better because you're in it

[cgsf]

Teen Wolf fanfiction recs:

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski [Part 6]

"the one where Derek gets high" 🔒 (E) by nighimpossible | 1,167 | Derek needs to find a way to relax, and Stiles is more than willing to assist.

"Sevens and Eights" (T) by calrissian18 | 10,092 | Stiles has a bandage slung under his chin like a disembodied helmet strap when Derek first meets him. It’s complemented by a chipped front tooth and a scrape of road rash across his cheek.

"in case of emergency" 🔒 (G) by nighimpossible | 970 | Derek finds out that he is Stiles' emergency contact in a surprising fashion.

"You Saw Me Standing Alone" (E) by anonymous | 43,947 | A pack of alpha werewolves is burning a war path through Beacon Hills; Stiles shouldn’t have the luxury of trying to get laid.

"Water for the Baby" (T) by afullrevolution | 12,134 | Stiles always thought his touch telepathy was frustrating, but finding out someone's a werewolf while trying to knock them on their ass? That's just fun.

"I Walked with You Once Upon a Dream" (T) by afullrevolution | 9,319 | Stiles has already seen his future and is confused about his past (it's all a bit like dreaming). Scott is just trying to help and Derek doesn't know what is going on, but is more than willing to go with it.

"Once, Twice, Three Times" 🔒 (E) by kth | 3,898 | The Beacon Hills Strangler, as Stiles has come to think of their newest serial killer, seems to have moved on from killing virgins for the time being. That doesn’t calm Stiles at all though; he knows about patterns. Sometimes they repeat.

"We're very fortunate, indeed" (T) by MemeKon | 2,055 | "Do you really think we'd be good together?" Stiles says, out of nowhere, eyes faintly narrowed, nose scrunched. "Like, honestly? Because everyone goes on and on about it, and I think--" "Does this look like a good time to be thinking about that?" He replies, mind blank and teeth long and menacing, clenched with a strength that makes his jaw ache after a few minutes. Body tense, curled like an iron spiral. "Well, excuse me." He whispers, hands tight on his weapon, long fingers paled from the pressure. "Let's talk about this the next time we get together for tea and cookies, shall we?"

"Better Than Revenge" 🔒 (E) by kth | 7,330 | Deucalion pokes at the ground with his cane, narrowly misses taking out a baby spruce. “Mm, you know it isn’t really a party with just two, Hale.” He smiles and, yeah, Stiles is scared shitless but also a little bit turned on.

"It's like he's all that" (T) by MemeKon | 3,639 | Stiles is different. Stiles is not nice under any definition of the word, he’s such an asshole. Sure, he’s a good guy deep down, he punched Jackson square in the jaw when he mocked the McCall kid for an asthma attack that one time, and Derek knows he helped Erica Reyes get that video of her seizure taken down, but he’s so— "Fuck off, Derek." Stiles tells him without sparing him a glance when Derek sits next to him on chemistry. "I’m not up to play She’s All That with you, dude."

"Lay us down (we're young and in love)" (M) by MemeKon | 3,673 | For all that Stiles acts like he knows his own value, acts like he's the shit, deep inside he's just a kid that's... What? Never been touched? But he has. Been touched, that is. There's Derek, who's pressed his hands everywhere Stiles has allowed him access to; and before that... There was the girl, Heather? And before... And before nothing. That's it.

"You got me trippin', stumblin', flippin', fumblin'" (T) by MemeKon | 3,640 | Stiles gives him a lopsided smile, asks him, “are you gonna let me in or what, man?”, gesturing at Derek expansively with his long, nimble fingers, and Stiles’ shirt is maybe a little small on his growing frame, because with the movement of his arm it shows a sliver of skin, a little of pale stomach, and Derek has to clear his throat. “Yeah, sure.” He says.

"Like wine upon the lips" (T) by MemeKon | 1,673 | “So, the word's on the streets that you're some sexy polyglot,” Stiles says, wiggling his eyebrows annoyingly before he slumps on the couch next to him and puts his feet on Derek's coffee table, limbs akimbo, loose and long. “Sexy polyglot,” Derek repeats, raising an eyebrow, and pushing Stiles' feet off the table with his own. “Yeah, you know, sexy man of many languages.” “I know what polyglot means,” he replies.

"I'm gonna write another traveling song" (T) by MemeKon | 5,732 | They are in Santa Rosa when he gets the first text. 'im sorry' Derek stares at it for what feels like a minute but is probably twenty seconds. Still excessive. The phone beeps again. 'for the Kate thing i mean. i'm sorry for bringing it up and rubbing your face in it'

"Outer Dark: A Pornographic Fever Dream" (E) by ahab2692 | 3,030 | It’s inevitable, Scott knows that now. Stiles and Derek will happen one way or the other. The only question left is how much blood will be spilled between now and then.

"Response" (M) by MemeKon | 1,077 | “It freaks me out a little when you do this.” Stiles says one evening upon finding him waiting for him on his room, heart racing, palms smelling of cold sweat. It makes every joint on Derek’s body ache. He’s wet and half naked, recently showered, and the trail of hair coming out of his low hanging shorts leading up to his navel is sticking to his skin and making Derek’s brain short circuit. “It shouldn’t,” he answers, trying to tear his eyes away from Stiles’ lower abdomen, from his hips and his- “you’re pack.”

"Questionable Life Choices" (E) by cancelcompassion | 10k+ WIP | Derek is resentful, Stiles looks surprisingly good without a shirt on, and then Stiles decides to Chuck Norris the shit out of some stuff.

"You Were a Kindness When I Was a Stranger" (E) by DevilDoll | 8,092 | "It's not all handcuffs and spankings and learning to deep throat." This is an AU with consensual BDSM sex acts, in which Derek supports Stiles financially in exchange for a sexual relationship. Stiles is of legal age.

"Once Kitten, Twice Shy" 🔒 (T) by Jerakeen | 718 | “Awww. Who’s a happy wolfy.”

"Something Weird" 🔒 (M) by Jerakeen | 1,455 | "So I pretend-held your hand," Stiles says with half a shrug. "How was that weirder than me doing things to your dick?"

"A Handprint on the Door" (T) by mrsvc | 5,233 | 5x Derek and Stiles ended up sleeping at the same time (but not necessarily together), and the one time they did.

"A Long Way To Go" (T) by tekmessa | 10,572 | Five times Derek happened to come across Stiles by accident, and one time Derek chose to seek him out.

"Found The Place To Rest My Head" 🔒 (M) by Lapin | 5,468 | There are selkies being controlled, and a witch out for power, and there's Derek and Stiles. There's always Derek and Stiles, and if Derek has his way, it will always, always be that way.

"frat au" (E) by endversed | 32,318 | Derek is a closeted frat boy, and Stiles gets under his skin.

"Five" 🔒 (M) by Jerakeen | 333 | Five. Five of them. He must’ve said it out loud because Stiles is also staring at his hand now, shocked and frozen. Derek doesn’t have the courage to look into Stiles’ eyes—not now, not after this—but his eyes move anyway, as if magnetized, and lock with Stiles’ over their tangled hands. "This is real," Stiles says.

"From the Cradle to the Grave" (T) by jezziejay | 4,207 | It’s not that the sheriff doesn’t like Derek. It’s just that he thinks Stiles could do better. But Stiles has been an adult for over two years now, so he can make his own choices. Even if they are terrible.

"Heatwave" 🔒 (E) by Jerakeen | 2,816 | The drug is called heatwave. It supposedly emulates werewolf heats on humans. And yes, Stiles is stupid enough to take it on a dare.

"The Scent of Ink" 🔒 (T) by bloodwrites | 587 | Stiles was ten the first time he met Derek Hale. He's almost certain Derek doesn't remember.

"i'm hard up for some time in your sheets" (E) by ToastMaloneIII | 6,640 | Derek coos gently and rubs the cat’s cheek, smiling when he purrs happily. “He plays hard to get but he’s a cuddle fiend. When I get home from work, he’s all over me.” Stiles smiles at the two of them and Derek hums in response, “Oh yeah?”. He takes a sip of his tea, notes how close they are sitting, and stretches his leg closer to Stiles’ as he sets his mug back on the table. He tracks the flick of Stiles’ tongue across his bottom lip with hungry eyes, heat pooling in his belly as desire bleeds into Stiles’ heavy gaze. “In his defense, I would be too.”

"you got a fast car." (T) by paradis | 1,565 | Scott stares, horrified, at where Stiles is drenched in someone else’s blood, and Derek’s hands are covered, and his DNA is all over the body of the clawed up deputy he’d tried to revive. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” Stiles says. He’s not shaking or terrified. “You should go,” Derek says, and Stiles blinks. Stares down at himself. Stares back at Derek. “I’m not going anywhere without you,” Stiles says.

"lay your weary head to rest" (M) by Petr1chor | 3,877 | “I know you like being protective of him, Stiles,” Lydia said, her snark sounding sharper than usual, “But he’s the one who is most trained, and most likely to hold his own against her if something goes wrong.” “Stiles, I’m perfectly capable of making my own goddamn decisions,” Derek snapped. “We’re going ahead, everyone get ready, we leave in half an hour.”

"It's Been Four Hundred and Ninety Days" (T) by paradis | 4,486 | It’s been four hundred and ninety days, and it took Derek forever but they’re at day one again.

"Shove" (E) by Qayin | 1,741 | So maybe Derek shoved him around a bit when he saw the kid, so what? That was innocent. Completely innocent. Right until the moment where Derek just couldn’t pretend that it was innocent anymore. Derek liked it.

"All My Kingdoms Turn to Sand" 🔒 (E) by elisera | 6,477 | The real question is what Stiles wants. If he’s looking forward to seeing Derek again because they’ll complete what they started a long time ago or if Stiles is nervous because he’s feeling apprehensive. There’s a real possibility that he told the pack to finally send Derek up in order to tell him thanks, but no thanks. A lot can happen in six years; people change and grow apart and it isn’t like they were allowed to talk.

"take a step before running" 🔒 (M) by magneticwave | 7,314 | Stiles wants to win for America, okay? He wants to bone that constipated expression off of Derek Hale’s face on a bed strewn with American flags while Bruce Springsteen plays in the background and a bald eagle watches through the window with a single tear rolling down its cheek.

"Tiny Houses" (E) by ohmyjetsabel | 77,138 | So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

"Derek Hale's Hidden Talents" (E) by betp | 800 | Stiles and Derek are doing something they should be doing, in a place they shouldn't be doing it in.

"Option C) Some Bad Guys are Werewolves, but Not All Werewolves are Bad Guys" (T) by calrissian18 | 9,039 | Derek Hale—the Incredible Meat that Thinks—needs a math tutor. Stiles Stilinski needs something that will look better on his college applications than 'passable D&D Dungeon Master.' It's a match made in heaven. Er, right?

"Talking Shit About a Pretty Sunset" 🔒 (E) by whiskey_in_tea | 18,285 | Stiles leaves Beacon Hills on a Sunday morning. Lydia’s run the numbers and it’s not a sure thing by any stretch of the imagination, but supernatural evil seems mostly inclined to take the Lord’s day to rest just like humans do. He won’t make it back before Monday night but that’s okay, unless whatever comes after them is the actual apocalypse they should be all right— and if it’s the apocalypse his meager skills won’t be of much use anyway.

"the wind beneath my wings" (G) by verity | 1,230 | "Did you check any baggage?" Derek says. "Or is this it?" "You’re—" Stiles squints. "Me?" "Yes," Derek says, not very patiently. Good old Derek.

"Stand Here At The Edge Of Something New" (E) by Chiomi | 3,233 | This is Stiles’ last night of freedom before he’s married to a man he hasn’t seen in over a decade - not even photos, not even Facebook. He intends to make the most of it.

"Not Exactly Comfortable" (T) by entanglednow | 1,227 | "Ok, so this could be worse." Which, on the whole, is probably not the most reassuring thing for Stiles to say right now.

"Negotiation" (T) by entanglednow | 1,158 | Derek's usually really good at shoving him around and making it clear what he wants.

"195% Awake" (E) by accol | 1,316 | "Wait. Was that a zipper?" Derek responded with his usual breathing. Stiles pushed up on his elbows and pressed his phone hard against his ear, straining to hear what was happening on the other end of the line. ”What exactly is this emergency? Are you trapped inside a body bag? A tent? An evil zipper factory?”

"The Scent of an Oncoming Storm" (E) by accol | 13,203 | In the weeks after Derek becomes alpha, he and Stiles form a reluctant team.

"More" 🔒 (M) by coffeeinallcaps | 4,227 | Stiles had never liked Derek. Derek was good-looking, sure; but he was also surly and violent and deceitful and mistrusting and somewhat frightening and a terrible alpha and pretty much impossible to be around. At various points throughout Derek’s snail-paced recovery, Stiles almost considered leaving. But then Derek would do something like make a distressed little noise in his sleep or murmur “Stiles?” again, struggling to blink open his bloodshot eyes, and Stiles would just. Stay.

"Wolf Cub" (E) by moodwriter | 6,946 | A strange wolf is not supposed to touch another pack’s cub and that’s why, on a rescue mission, it’s Stiles’ job to take care of the wolf cub who’s curious about everything and everyone. Stiles is not used to werewolf children, and the pack is not used to Stiles taking care of a child. Their Alpha gets very confused about this, too.

"my heart's been offline" (E) by thepsychicclam | 58,893 | Derek and Stiles meet online, and Stiles has no clue Derek's part of a famous family.

"The Scientific Method" (T) by uraneia | 5,947 | Stiles’s life was so much easier before his BFF got super powers. “But, so, werewolves have super strength, right? And super speed. And better vision, and better muscle control, and healing powers, and stuff. And some of that’s probably, like, genetic, if you can be born a werewolf. Right?” “Yeah,” Scott says. From the perplexed look on his face, he doesn’t yet know where Stiles is going with this. “So?” “So what if you have condom-defeating supersperm?”

"Running Up That Hill" (E) by idyll | 23,575 | In which Derek fights the forces of evil and has no idea how Stiles started working for, or living with, him.

"The Pride of Bastet" (M) by fakinbrilliance | 13k WIP | Stiles is marked by the supernatural, Derek is possessive, and the whole pack is a bundle of feels as they try to work their way through it.

"Tender Offer" (E) by jedusaur | 482 | Derek pops his mouth off Stiles’ dick and says, “I opened a brokerage account.”

"spark like empty lighters" 🔒 (T) by extasiswings for elisela | 2,282 | Derek leaves. Stiles gets possessed. Derek comes back. What that all means...they'll figure it out.

"Falling Up" (E) by PalenDrome | 18,522 | Of all the things Stiles imagined could happen, he never thought he’d end up packless.

"The Nose Knows" 🔒 (E) by WhoopsOK | 5,454 | A spell misfires and Stiles winds up with werewolf powers and finds Derek’s scent… alarmingly appealing.

"Arrows Made of Desire" 🔒 (E) by loserchildhotpants | 6,302 | There's a MOTW, Scott's an idiot and a Bad Friend, Stiles has a magic bat (not a euphemism), and Derek submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known (true, but also a euphemism).

"Red, Red, Red" 🔒 (E) by loserchildhotpants | 9,460 | “Your tattoo.” “What about it?” “Just… it’s weird, I’ve been - uh. You ever, like, dream of something? Something you’ve never seen before, but then you see it out in the world?”

"One Mess at a Time" (E) by Tawryn | 2,807 | When Stiles was first accepted into his apprenticeship, Master Peter had told him he'd be placed into some hard situations. Stiles had taken that at face value. You know, figuratively. Good thing Peter’s cute nephew lives above the apothecary.

"Howlin' For You" (E) by Lenore | 33,050 | A college AU with strippers, crime bosses, and a mystery to solve.

"Never Been" (E) by Lenore | 4,202 | Stiles gets snared in a virgin trap. Derek to the rescue!

"Turn a Little Faster" (T) by skoosiepants | 3,207 | He shifts back and forth on his feet and tries to psych himself up. He can do this. He’s a badass werewolf, he can totally tell Stiles that they accidentally got werewolf married because—because Stiles was thinking about him, and happened to give him a token of his, uh, affection under the silvery light of the last full moon. Platonic affection, Derek thinks sourly, so he doesn’t get why his wolf feels all warm and fuzzy and bonded all of a sudden.

"We've Got Chemistry" (T) by dr_girlfriend | 17,892 | “So…” The man was at the door to a shed now. “The previous owners left everything, so I think there should be everything you need. But let me know if you need me to pick up anything, or if you prefer, you can buy it and I’ll reimburse you…” “Oh!” he said. “Because I’m the pool guy.” And that’s not what he meant to say at all. He meant to say, “You think I’m the pool guy.”

"until we wake" (E) by verity | 2,375 | "It shouldn't have affected Derek," Lydia says over the phone. "But maybe—because of your bond." "What bond," Derek says.

"Mix and Match" 🔒 (E) by Jerakeen | 6,141 | Stiles walks into the Beacon Hills alpha-omega mixer with a smile on his face and three condoms in his wallet.

"The Scent of Mate" (E) by Jerakeen | 1,543 | "You smell like mate."

"I'm tired and I'm wasted, irrational" (E) by LunaCanisLupus_22 | 8,171 | Derek reads the message twice just to be sure that he isn’t dreaming. 'Help,' it reads, 'accidntly kidnpd somr dudew.' He takes a moment to compose his reply. What the hell Laura?

"Fair Game" 🔒 (E) by blacktofade | 6,183 | It's all fun and games until someone has to pee. AKA: the one where Derek meets Stiles in a club and it's going great until Stiles disappears into a bathroom stall and leaves him to fret.

"Edges and Lines" 🔒 (E) by blacktofade | 3,630 | Derek likes Stiles in lingerie and makeup.

"Wild Living series" (E) by orbiting_saturn | 4,999 | Since the whole mess with Gerard, Stiles has been running on a drunk-dizzy burst of fear adrenaline. Like he’s courting death.

"Take Me to the River" (E) by orbiting_saturn | 3,215 | Stiles does that to him sometimes, bowls over everything important with the force of his personality, the mystery of his mind. It used to annoy and confuse Derek, but lately it just fascinates him.

"The Hazards (and Benefits) of Channel-Surfing on Friday Nights" (M) by herbeautifullie | 12,175 | "I totally have a boyfriend, dude. Shows how much you know." How was he supposed to know Scott would doubt him? It's not Stiles' fault that someone named Derek Hale really exists. It's also not his fault when his lie grows legs and runs so far he can't find it until it's too late – too late and standing right in front of him, gorgeous and annoyed and not at all the person Stiles made him up to be. Yeah, this could get bad.

"By and By" (E) by 1001cranes | 35,611 | Sheriff Stiles accidentally adopted a juvenile offender.

"To Blame" 🔒 (T) by blacktofade | 4,473 | Everything always seems to be Derek's fault, even when he's no longer around.

"Tangible Disasters" 🔒 (M) by saintsideways | 6,598 | Derek has spent years deliberately refusing to flinch from fire. He’s not about to break the habit.

"take my heart from me" 🔒 (NR) by Areiton | 23,188 | He didn't really mean to adopt Derek's pack of puppies. He didn't mean to make himself important to them. To Derek. He just wanted to keep them all safe. That's all Stiles ever wanted.

"another name for love" (E) by endversed | 36,910 | Derek is a single parent to a teenager. He's given up on love since losing his daughter's mother. Stiles is an FBI agent in town on the hunt for a feral omega. He might have something to say about Derek's stance on love.

"feels so good inside" (E) by endversed | 11,817 | Stiles receives a dick pic from an unknown number. He decides to grab the opportunity with both hands to do something about his pesky virginity.

"Not Exactly Comfortable" (T) by entanglednow | 1,227 | "Ok, so this could be worse." Which, on the whole, is probably not the most reassuring thing for Stiles to say right now. "Could be worse?" Scott hisses out, where he's scrunched uncomfortably on Stiles's bed. In a way Derek's body probably isn't designed for.

"pretty fragile things" 🔒 (M) by Areiton | 6,474 | Stiles Stilinski likes pretty things. Derek Hale just likes Stiles.

"hold my beer (hold me close)" 🔒 (NR) by Areiton | 3,252 | It was Scotty’s fault. One hundred fucking percent, Stiles thinks, stumbling under the weight of a two hundred pound very drunk alpha. Who, as luck would have it, is a cuddler. Fan-fucking-tastic.

"Textual Promise" 🔒 (E) by Areiton | 1,828 | Derek stares at the text for a long time before he goes for a run. Because this? From Stiles? This isn't something they do. He still says 'ok'.

"Large Vanilla Latte" 🔒 (G) by Areiton | 1,466 | The bell over the door clatters a cheerfully annoying welcome, and Stiles smiles as the man he’s going to marry strides up to the counter.

"Good Pup" 🔒 (NR) by Areiton | 1,719 | He isn’t surprised, when he walks into the loft and finds Derek sprawled on the couch, and Stiles tucked into his side, snoring softly, one hand clenched in Derek’s shirt to lodge him there while Derek reads over Stiles’ sleeping head. He looks happy, his eyes soft and body loose in a way that Peter hasn’t seen in years.

"Is This Unwise" 🔒 (T) by Innaz | 17,819 | Derek expects Stiles to react poorly, maybe even file a formal complaint and that’s gonna suck, but Derek won’t say shit cause he knows he deserves it, so he prepares an apology before Stiles has even turned around. What he doesn’t expect is Stiles to fucking drop.

"Please Have Mercy" 🔒 (E) by Innaz | 3,922 | "I-” Stiles licks his lips, eyes bright and wide with the shock. Balls in his court now. He could refuse, step away from the line they're toeing and laugh it off. But he doesn’t, just like Derek knew he wouldn’t. Because Stiles wants this. They both do, and that’s what makes it so fucking insane.

"The Shore of Dreams" 🔒 (T) by hannah_baker | 2,277 | Derek Hale finds himself helping Stiles Stilinski hide a body.

"Flannel and Brass" 🔒 (T) by hannah_baker | 3,554 | John Stilinski somehow finds himself in the middle of a casual investigation into his son's life. And isn't wholly pleased with what he finds.

"When Nothing Else Works" 🔒 (T) by hannah_baker | 5,915 | Sheriff Stilinski is slowly and begrudgingly accepting the fact that werewolves exist, regular bad things still do happen sometimes, and his son may or may not be dating Derek Hale behind his back.

"Let's Not Talk About It" 🔒 (E) by hannah_baker | 10,147 | “You can’t have a platonic romantic relationship,” Scott said when Stiles had tried to explain what had happened the previous night. “I’m not saying it’s platonic. Obviously making out isn’t platonic. But it’s not like, romantic. I’m not waxing poetic about his gorgeous hazel eyes or how ridiculous his biceps are-” “Really?” Scott asked, interrupting him. “Because it sounds like you are.”

"Kind of a Thing" 🔒 (T) by hannah_baker | 17,707 | “You’re ‘kind of a thing,’” his dad repeated, the quotations clear in his voice. “Well, I’m not sure what 'kind of a thing' means,” he said, getting up, disappearing to the kitchen briefly and returning with a beer, “but it’s 9:45, which means that 'kind of a thing' needs to leave in fifteen minutes.”

"You Are a Sap and I Love You" (E) by accol | 999 | “Here,” Derek said, shoving a large, fabric sack at Stiles like it had a live snake in it. Stiles pulled the drawstring open and looked inside. “Ha ha, very funny. Just because I broke the last one staking that vampire--” “Pull it out,” Derek said. Stiles let the fabric bag fall to the floor. His fingers wrapped around the grip solidly. “Is it safe?” Stiles took a slow swing. The bat felt like it was humming.

"Space Age Crystals" (E) by A Devil Like You | 1,235 | Stiles is just biding his time at a Christian College until his dad stops being mad at him and lets him come home. He didn't expect to catch the eye of Derek Hale, or to become the new subject of his devotion.

"Of Milk and Honey" (E) by A Devil Like You | 2,578 | The scent is everywhere. The gas station. The movie theatre. The grocery store. The top floor balcony of his house—just outside the French doors to Derek’s bedroom. Like warm honey and sweet cream still in its pail. It’s out there somewhere on the vast preserve and it makes his eyes flutter.

"bi awakening au" (E) by endversed | 34,332 | “Fuck that,” Stiles says, dangerously low. “I already did the closeted jock thing in high school. Like fucking hell I’d put myself through that again.” Derek’s breath catches in his chest. Stiles is – he’s incandescent, entirely lit up with rage. “I’m sorry,” Derek begins to say. “Just – don’t bother, all right? I’m not interested in being your first fuck over the rainbow. You wanna hook-up with a guy, see what all the fuss is about? Go to a gay bar and pick up the first twink you see. You won’t find it hard.” “I’m not –“ “Just leave me the fuck out of it.”

"all fucked up" (E) by endversed | 15,414 | Booty calling your ex-boyfriend might be a bad idea, but it's not like Stiles' heart can break any more than it has already, anyway.

"Shifted" (T) by LLAP115, Wolfspurr | 25,074 | Of all the stupid things he’s ever done, Stiles is pretty sure this one takes the record, but it’s like a reflex that he just can’t stop. As soon as he sees the witch turn to face Derek, hand raised in Derek’s direction, he just jumps.

"The Curve of Your Clavicle" (T) by WhoNatural | 6,264 | Derek's office rival might be the same person keeping him sane at night when the loneliness hits.

"Flowerwolf & Beacon Roots" (E) by alisvolatpropiis | 5,299 | Stiles turns away, towards the cooler of roses, muttering to himself under his breath, which of course Derek can hear perfectly well. “Great freakin’ advice, Lydia, ‘just bring up sex and tell him you’re cool with having a one night stand,’ okay, sure, that worked fucking beautifully.” “Okay.” The word is out of his mouth before Derek can even think about the consequences of saying it, something unusual for him. He wants Stiles however he can get him, it seems. “Okay?” Stiles eyes are wide when he spins back to look at him. “Yeah, okay. Let’s have sex.”

"Imaginary L'Oreal Boyfriend" (T) by WhoNatural | 2,753 | Stiles sets the bowl distractedly on the coffee table and mutes the TV. It doesn’t matter, his Imaginary L’Oreal Boyfriend’s commercial is only repeated once an hour, or so he’s noticed. "Who’s Derek?" he asks with genuine confusion. "The commercial guy," Isaac informs, gesturing at the screen like it’s obvious. "Doesn’t shave and looks like he just remembered something upsetting yet important all the time. Derek Hale?"

"The Last Song I'll Write About You" (NR) by WhoNatural | 1,890 | "So his face sells records, is what you’re saying," she says, and yeah, he’s been talking about the jerkwad for most of his lunch break, but that’s no reason for her to get that glint in her eye. “You must think it’s a pretty marketable face, if it can make someone’s debut album go triple-platinum in the span of two months.”

••••••

That is 100.

[sakurabutterflyart]

Floyd X Classical Troll Fem Reader

(As a person who enjoyed classical music or just a fan of violin. I've also been to a choir, which is totally a classical and different to singing pop. I base it a little of my experience.

But disclaimer. I still lack Classical music knowledge.  But I do write fanfictions for fun and wonder what happens when Pop and Classical music comes together.

Im no professional writer, English is not my first language either. This just happen to be one of my intrusive thoughts that needs to be written.)

My name is (Y/N), I've been living in Trollstopia since the beginning.  My family along with my fellow classical trolls just wanted to be open to new cultures, which is why we decided to move here.

Being a Classical Troll means I have to be professional all the time and a perfectionist, cause that's how my parents taught me about classical music.

So I followed the rules.  Even though I love music, sometimes I get sick of it. Like there's something wrong about it.

But then I met him... Floyd

Classical Trolls are so strict. That I was never used to be treated gently by someone that I never knew I needed.  Floyd makes my heart go softer, which honestly kinda scares me sometimes.

When I met him, I just happen to run into him. When he got lost in Trollstopia,  while visiting his brother Branch. He heard my violin playing. I actually heard a catchy pop song that is mixed with country from this song writer named Taylor Swift and surprisingly also a classical rock guitar from a rock Troll named Demo.

That I decided to play a pop song on that day after getting scolded by my conductor,  that I wanted to be left alone. I was a disappointment to my fellow classical trolls despite being the daughter of the Great Classical Troll. I was always told that I was the most difficult one to teach, like I was tone-deaf or something.

Being in a prestigious group is a lot of pressure already. Being there is so suffocating, traumatizing in fact from the way I get startled when I get scolded by everyone.  That I needed to go out and have time to enjoy music on my own. I played my violin with a famous Taylor swift music called Enchanted, also tried singing it after playing it. Trying to turn it into a classical version. I'm already a disappointment anyways, so what's the harm of singing a pop rock country song?

"Woah, you have a beautiful voice there miss." I was startled and almost had a heart attack,  when I turned around I spotted a Pop Troll. He must be from Pop village. "I like your version of that song that I just needed to see who played it."

I felt my face heating from embarrassment. I'm suppose to yell at him for scaring me, but instead I felt a chuckle escape from my throat of his comment. I was flattered, but of course I brushed it off by saying, "Nah I'm just messing around,  I hit the wrong notes."

Then I heard him giggled along and sat right next to me.

"Well to me your voice is beautiful.  Just like what me and my brother said about being in harmony.  We don't have to be perfect to be in harmony, we just have to be as we are."

"Hah! Really?" I scoffed, cause the #1 rule of being a Classical Troll is to make it perfect as possible.

"Really,  why else would me and my brothers manage to hit the family harmony and rescued me from a diamond prison? "

I stared at him wide eyed, a few seconds later I gasped. 

"No..." I whispered in amazement. He giggled at my reaction.

"Yes."

"NOOO..."

"YES."

"YOU'RE FROM BROZONE?! "

"YES!"

💛💛💛

With that we talked and talked, eventually became friends. Surprisingly,  we easily connected like we've known each other for a long time, despite our differences in culture.

At first it was pure respect and amazement. For being in Brozone who achieved the family harmony after a long time in history.

Our meetings became frequent, it's no longer as fellow musician, but as friends. I learned his name was Floyd. Being with Floyd, makes me feel safe. I have great sense of comfort around him.  I enjoyed spending time with him. That I myself surprisingly willing to go to parties on Pop Village just to see him.

Whenever i feel down and pressured from classical music. He knew exactly how to encourage me and keep my confidence up, even helped me hit the right notes by harmonizing with him. And as expected... his VERY gifted!

I've never felt such connection with anyone nor felt understood and comforted of my entire life. He made me laugh... and even cry at the same time from joy, which is very strange...

💛💛💛 A month passed by...

In a blink, it was just another day of our regular practice. But I was shocked that my conductor was more harsh than usual. Not only did he embarrassed me in front of my fellow choir mates,  he say cruel words that I will never become better nor do I belong there, that I'm better off not being in their group.

That I snapped and walk out from that suffocating rehearsal room.

I was really feeling thorn that even Floyd noticed.  That I was crying the whole night, that I'm pretty sure that my puffy eyes is still not gone. All the hardwork and time I gave, to only find out that I was never welcomed there to begin with.

That Floyd decided to drag me out of my pod, after being trapped there for almost a week. It was sunset, so the heat of the summer is gone that its a perfect time to have a picnic near the sea.

He decided to lay me down and relax, in this beautiful scenery . He brought my favorite snacks, the books we enjoyed together,  along with our favorite classical pop song that we've made together. As he continue to comfort me with his words and laughing along with his funny stories about his brothers.

We ended up in silence, enjoying the fresh breeze of wind. I was trapped in my room for a long time, that I didn't realized that there's a good spot to forget what happened.

I turned around to see Floyd facing me, eyes shut. I lay closer to him, running my fingers through his smooth red hair, causing him to wake up.

We ended up staring into each other in silence,  but a comfortable one. Without even thinking, I was caressing his cheeks. Feeling my heart beat wildly. I can feel his hands holding mine from where I held his face. He slid it down to my arms, caressing it too.

At that moment. Both of us were not thinking, but before we even knew it. I can feel the warmth of his lips unto mine. And it felt great. He then pushed me down towards the ground,  he was on top of me. Continue tasting my lips, with his palms pinning my wrist against the floor.

I was having a terrible week,  but never would've thought that it'll also be one of the best one. Where I can finally get to hold him this close and closer than ever before.

"I love you... Y/N." He whispered and continue to trail kisses unto my neck.

💛💛💛

A/N: What? Floyd being the bottom is getting cliche to all Floyd X reader I've read, him being bold is surprisingly good too hehe. I guess John Dory also mistaken his role to be the sensitive one. Almost.

[sunshines-child]

I have nothing to do so here's me ranking Nico ships

Solangelo: 7/10 The canon interactions were not good. I'm giving this a pretty high rating because where Rick lacks is where fanfiction writers make up. (Solangelo fanfics can be freakishly good. They gave more backstory than Rick ever did) Percico: 8/10 The age gap when you really put it down can be a little funky, but my gods, if you write it right, you can make this ship some of the most poetic, tragic, gut-wrenching fanfics put down into words. (I prefer heavy one-sided tragedy but any suffice, really) Jasico: 7.5/10 it's a pretty nice one honestly, and you cannot tell me Jason and Nico didn't have SOMETHING going on. Not as high as Percico because most of the stories written are all fluff and comfort, and I'm more of a "make it hurt" type of fanfiction writer/reader. Valdangelo: 5.5/10 I've never found really good fanfiction over this ship. They rarely interact, and unlike Solangelo, the fanfiction writers don't usually make up for it with some funky AUs and whatnot. I can imagine some pretty fun scenarios with this though. Alabaster: 9/10 GOOD LORD @drksanctuary you have dragged me into a pit I cannot crawl out of. You can get every. single. type. of. fanfiction. from this ship, whether it's so kinky it makes you gasp (*cough* @avaetin and @drksanctuary *cough*), really gut-wrenching, or sweet. It's got the variety that I like. (-1 because they've sadly never properly interacted so we have no real land to build the house on) (I will shut up now.) Obligatory Nion: 9/10 @avaetin You are an evil lady. Your fanfiction alone has fueled my entire brainrot. There isn't even side fanfiction about him! You fuel this ship alone, and I'm all for it. (I have so, so many AU's over these two.) (Like my beautiful fish people AU that I posted the premise about previously) I hate any ship of Nico with a female, and yes this includes Percicobeth (or anything along those lines). Quit making Nico "find out he's bisexual because of Annabeth/Rachel/Piper/etc.", he's literally confirmed gay. Wow this is really long.

[major-comet]

The Music in RvB: Restoration Kinda Sucks. Here's how I'd fix it.

I gave this as a presentation the other night after my first re-watch of the finale, and it was a major hit so I thought I would share it with other people who think too hard about Halo fanfiction.

Red VS Blue has some truly fantastic music in it's 21 year history, and I think that the music here was pretty weak. Obviously this post has major spoilers for RvB19 / Restoration, so be warned.

So, under the Read More is a typed up and fleshed out version of my powerpoint presentation where I will dive in and not just bitch about the musical choices, but explain how I would fix things. This is...really long, but I hope you all enjoy my thoughts :)

This will be best enjoyed if you listen to the songs I'm talking about as a refresher. For your convenience, I have input links to the songs on Youtube when necessary (ETA: and barring one instance, the song links have all been updated to work again while the official uploads are down.)

So what's the problem?

Since the development of the finale overlapped with Rooster Teeth getting shut down, it's very likely that they had minimal funds. (EDIT: Yes, the finale itself was done by the time the announcement rolled around. However, the decision was almost certainly already in the works at WB. RT was shut down in part for financial reasons. It’s all connected.) I personally think this was part of why Burnie/RT was/were [reportedly] so insistent on using stock music for part of the season rather than a whole soundtrack done by Trocadero - I'm not sure they had the money to properly compensate for a full soundtrack. And maybe it was just a stupid / dick move, and had nothing to do with money at all, but that's what I choose to believe if only because it makes me feel slightly better about it.

This means that besides the stock music, the new score by Carl Thiel, the Zero song for that cameo, and Waning Moon (the Barenaked Ladies song), all we have are four re-used songs from earlier RvB - these songs being the Trocadero Grifball theme, I Say Ooh and Round One by Jeff Williams, and Vale Deah by Trocadero. There's also a David Levy composition in there somewhere according to the credits, R U Ready, but I have no idea what it is or where it plays. It's bothering the hell out of me because it does not appear to be a reused piece as far as I can tell - at least not reused from RvB. If anyone has any leads on this please reach out, because it seems crazy that there's one random possibly original David composition mixed in there. I've checked Apple Music and Soundcloud, nothing by that name.

In this very Meta focused film, neither of The Meta's themes play in any shape or form - [When] Your Middle Name is Danger by Trocadero or Plagam Extremam Infligere by Jeff Williams.

Nor do any of the character themes, really. Most of the series' iconic recurring tracks are completely absent. Tex's various themes, Carolina's theme - hell not even Blood Gulch Blues or the iconic intro music.

Were there any highlights?

Of course there were!

Considering I was going into the finale having only been spoiled on Vale Deah, I was pleasantly surprised to hear the Jeff tracks! That was totally unexpected, and really lovely.

Speaking of, I thought the use of Vale Deah was a really lovely touch. Fun fact: that song was used for the end credits of the Season 1 DVD, so it really felt like a sweet full circle moment.

I think that using a Barenaked Ladies song for that very sweet scene of Caboose, Grif, and Simmons reminiscing about Blood Gulch by the fire was a very lovely choice, and quite honestly it was my favorite scene in the whole thing. The BNL have been close to RvB and RT since damn near the beginning, and it was very nice to hear them attached to the finale in that small way.

I should also point out that the composer for the season is Carl Thiel - known for his work on Hot Fuzz and the second and third Spy Kids movies. I think he did a totally fine job. I liked the bugles that were under Sarge's death, but the rest doesn't really stand out much. Perfectly serviceable.

So, now that that's out of the way, let's break down those four returning songs a bit more - shall we?

Grifball Official Theme - Trocadero

This was a really funny choice. It's such a quick bit, but I respect Burnie's dedication to get in one last Grifball joke. Obviously, I would have preferred to hear a different song for something else, but this was totally harmless.

Vale Deah - Trocadero

Lo-fi Hip-hop beats to get divorced to.

God that scene was heartbreaking. I love this song a lot - I think a lot of Trocadero's strongest stuff is the stuff that just feels kind of melancholy. It's something Nico does really well, and I think Vale Deah is one of my favorite examples of that. Like I said above, I think this song was used really well - if I had to pick a different track for that same scene I would probably choose Half Life. While it was written during the Blood Gulch era, it wasn't really used in the show until Seasons 12 and 13 - notably, a version of it plays under Kimball's rally speech to the troops after Doyle's death. I just really like it, tbh. There's absolutely other songs that could work, but I think having it be a BGC-era track served the scene really well.

I Say Ooh - Jeff Williams

My feelings about this are pretty similar to Grifball. It was cute, it was nice to hear, but I wish they had used a different Jeff track somewhere else. Ultimately, it's pretty harmless. It is kind of an odd choice though - I'm pretty sure Jeff didn't write it for RvB. This was a song that he composed that was used in two RT Shorts (live action sketches that RT used to do). I think it would have been nicer to use one of his RvB tracks for the introduction of Niner - could have been a cute spot to use a track like I Am The Best or Forge World or hell, Come on Carolina would have been cute.

Round One - Jeff Williams

...Actually, I have a lot to say about Round One, so let's get everything else out of the way first.

Other Scenes that *should* have had returning tracks before I talk about Round One for a billion years

Sarge's death should have been scored with a version of Rally (Sarge's Speech). My vision is a version of it that's just the string section - familiar, but not enough to be distracting, and absolutely soul crushing if you do recognize it.

The scene with Wash and Dr. Grey in the hospital needed a hint of what Nico so lovingly calls the "Wash Trauma Theme" - which is closely related to the Trocadero Meta theme, fun fact. I think Limited Duty from the scene in Season 16 where Carolina tells Wash about the brain damage could have worked pretty well there.

The scene at the end with Wash and Carolina talking about Doc and the Freelancers really needed something. I think one of the variations of the Shisno trilogy Carwash theme could have worked very well. (EDIT: So i would have a link for Carwash, but there is No Trace of that song on youtube anymore. I think it's one of the songs that plays in the season 16 credits, and there's variations of it in 17 as well. so sorry!)

Obviously the big scene with Tucker and Sigma on the ship would have really benefited from [When] Your Middle Name is Danger or one of the many themes that incorporates it, but I'd also throw Soul Clef XI into the ring! I think it's so interesting that the work around they came up with for not being able to get Elijah Wood back was to have epsilon!Sigma take on a more Felix-y type of voice. Partly because Felix was an incredibly ambitious villain so he fits it pretty well, but more importantly that was a very smart voice to pick to fuck with Tucker in particular! I think that was really smart, and I think having Felix's theme playing during that scene would have been really cool.

Bolt by Trocadero was never used in the series proper. However it was used in this ten year retrospective that they released alongside Season 10. I highly recommend giving it a watch, because watching it now that it's Over - RvB, RT, all of it - it's honestly kind of heart breaking. They're all filled with this deep optimism about the future of the company, and hindsight is a bitch on this one. They use it in a really sweet sequence at the end where they're showing a bunch of old photos. Anyways I think this should have played in the credits after Vale Deah finished. "We only want to have a good time."

Miscellaneous Trocadero Songs I would have liked to see them find a place for that I haven't already / will not mention elsewhere

Steady Ride (Gunmetal Green) - this is THE Grimmons song ever to me. I love it so much. Also fun fact: as of the interview Burnie did with Nico on the season 10 (I think?) dvd/bluray, this was Burnie's favorite Trocadero track. And you can tell when you watch the DVD cuts of the first 6-ish seasons - it plays all the time.

I like Good Fight a lot, not sure there was a great spot for it? but still would have been nice - It's used a few times as a Wash theme, I believe.

No One is my favorite Trocadero song and I wish it could've been there Somewhere. It was the elevator-music type song that played behind Vic in BG once or twice, I think was in the season 4 credits, and also played during the weapons demonstrations in the Meta VS Carolina Death Battle. I just like it a lot, lol.

Okay let's get back to Round One.

Why they shouldn't have used Round One for the big fight in RvB Restoration

AKA: The actual bulk of the presentation

Okay so we've got some pros and cons to this track. Starting with the Pros;

It's a song from an iconic scene - the 3v1 training room fight from Season 9

Tex and Maine are both in the fight

Was a great "Oh FUCK yeah" moment for the fans

Great track

Cons;

Not really a song for Carolina or the Meta (or y'know. Tucker. He's there too), and only kind of a song for Tex

Honestly the fight makes me think about York more than anyone else, since that's the fight where he gets hurt

Not a cool thematic moment besides just Tex being a badass

Started too late into the fight - it's sad that Carolina got a cool track when she (finally!) showed up, but Tex just got generic music. Show my girl some respect :(

So what would be better?

It has to be something that makes you think of at least one of the fighters. A track that's good for multiple would be better, but not required.

I think it should start when Tex first shows up, not when her armor changes. that’s a cool moment, but it still means most of the fight is working with Thiel’s score.

It should be something with a note of thematic relevance - for example, the big moment right at the end of the fight is Tex reminding epsilon!Sigma that she's not based on the Director's memories of her failure this time; she's based on the memories of Grif, Caboose, and Simmons. And she Always kicked their asses.

Still needs to be a big "Oh FUCK yeah" moment.

While incorporating Carolina's theme would be nice, I think it's more important to get at least one of the others - but we'll do our best here. I think this is moreso a Tex v meta!Tucker fight in my heart than it is a Carolina fight.

So let's look over a few options, shall we? These are in no particular order.

Spiral - Jeff Williams

This is the song that plays during the Season 9 car chase when Maine gets shot. It incorporates Carolina's theme, because in PFL her theme is never too far behind whenever a Maine/Meta song is playing, which has always been interesting to me. It has all that freaky choral stuff that Jeff loved to use, and generally is just a great track.

Fragments - Jeff Williams

This plays during the Freelancer break-in in Season 10, and it just rocks so hard. Anything from the break-in would be cool because that was the last time Tex, Carolina, and Maine/The Meta were all in the same place, and of course was when The Meta was properly created. I think it was so sad that they used the instrumental of Round One, because the vocals are part of what makes the Jeff era of RvB soundtracks so iconic, and god this song delivers! Also this song has a kickass trumpet solo at the end.

Slingshot (from the Death Battle) - Trocadero

Man this song rules. This of course plays in the Meta VS Carolina Death Battle from Season 14. It's a very different energy from the Jeff picks, but it rocks so fucking much. This is a fight between Carolina and The Meta, and would of course be a callback to a (marginally) more recent - and extremely popular - episode of the show. If you haven't watched the Death Battle in a while you really should, it still kicks just as much ass now as it did back when I was in high school.

Literally any other song from the 3v1 Training Room Fight - Jeff Williams

This includes;

Round One (feat Lamar Hall)

Just the Bullfight part

On Your Knees

I just think the instrumental to Round One is the weakest choice from this fight tbh! Bullfight is my favorite out of the three, because it sounds the most Tex-y. The guitars are very her, and it incorporates part of her Agent Tex motif. And On Your Knees would have had the biggest "Oh FUCK yeah" factor. But honestly even just using the version of Round One with the vocals would have been way better.

EDIT TO ADD: a quick note - while it’s listed in the credits as Round One/Bullfight, that’s just how the instrumental is packaged on the OST. As far as I could tell in my two watches of it, they never actually make it to the Bullfight part of the track.

A Girl Named Tex - Trocadero

hold on, walk with me on this one.

I had a vision of Tex fighting meta!Tucker set to the "Yellow rose of Texas clad in black, lonely star tattooed upon her back. Double Tex she'll hit you like a truck. Double Tex and she'll mess you up." bit right after I watched 19 the first time and it's been haunting me ever since. (That bit starts at about 02:19)

This is her theme for the first chunk of the show - which just so happens to be the time period Grif, Simmons, and Caboose were primarily reminiscing about. It would have been cool as hell, and I can See the beginning of the fight in my head - the opening strums (what my brother so lovingly calls the Out of Mind music) when caboose is saying his line about how he brought back someone even worse than church, and then the fight starts! I can see it in my mind, it would have been so cool!

I just think there should have been more Blood Gulch era music in here.

100 Tex Battle - Jeff Williams

This doesn't get you any Meta points, but obviously it incorporates little bits of Tex's, and a lot of Carolina's theme. Twisting a Tex vs Carolina fight - obviously, Carolina vs all the Tex bots in Season 10 - into one where they're fighting alongside each other would have been really lovely and a cool full circle moment.

This song is really cool, it's such a good fight. I do think it maybe sounds a bit goofy at points for this fight, but still a cool option.

Okay so now let's go over my top three-ish picks

Ice Fight (or maybe the revelations suite?) - Jeff Williams

Jumping to the end of Season 8, we have a fight that involves Tex vs The Meta! And Wash, Doc, and all the Reds and Blues (barring Donut and Lopez. Hmm. Doesn't that sound familiar.) are there! Ice Fight rules so hard, it's so good.

And it has some of that narrative theming I was looking for! While yes, Tex does technically lose this fight - so does The Meta. And how does she lose it?

By going into the recovery unit.

The main reason I suggest the Suite instead of just Ice Fight is because I think having a touch of Red Vs Blue would have been really nice.

Mental Meta Metal - Jeff Williams

Genuinely my favorite track from season 10. If you let the song play the whole way through, it has Jeff's themes for The Meta, Carolina, and Tex in it. This plays the first time we see Maine in a fight in Season 10, and is also Sigma's first time in the field after we see him pondering Meta-stability in the classroom.

It incorporates elements from both Spiral and Plagam Extremam Infligere, which is kind of Jeff's theme for the Meta that he established back in Season 8. It also plays during the Freelancer Break-in when he's tossing Carolina off the cliff. The Latin on that translates to “to inflict an extreme blow”.

It also has a very strong statement of Carolina's theme, which could have been a great opportunity to bring her in with her theme!

Now, before I go over my final pick, let's go over what we need again;

We need a song with thematic relevance to the fight, that’s from an iconic scene, has a good energy to it, and would give fans a big “OH FUCK YEAH” moment.

Well, isn’t it obvious?

Agent Tex (/ Tex vs Tank / Hell's Angel) - Jeff Williams

The first instance of Jeff Williams’ Tex motif, later used in Hell’s Angel and Tex vs Tank, etc. I would add the opening strum commonly heard in the later iterations, but keep it generally the Agent Tex version which was used in the S8 Warehouse fight, as seen above.

This is like. The RvB scene ever. So many people saw this before they watched the show, and many more never even watched RvB - just this fight, since RT uploaded it separately from the episode because they knew it kicked so much ass. It also helped draw in folks who may have been fans of Monty Oum's other work. Fun fact: This was RT’s outro music for a really long time, too. So it really has history with the company.

Part of why I think this pick would work so well, beyond it just being Tex's theme for the Jeff Williams era, is that it would be so interesting in terms of narrative theming. The Season 8 warehouse fight was Tucker, Grif, Simmons, Sarge, and Caboose against Tex.

This whole sequence was Grif, Simmons, Caboose, Carolina, and Tex against Tucker.

This was one of the other scenes being reminisced about around the fire - you can see it as one of the clips shown during the scene. I think it would have been a really powerful moment, and a fantastic "FUCK YEAH" moment for everyone whose stuck around this long. This track is so good, and I really do think it would have been the perfect choice for this fight.

It's not even my favorite, if I was just choosing favorites I'd have picked Mental Meta Metal or A Girl Named Tex.

What have we learned? Why Were We Here?

Red vs Blue is a show with a lot of really fantastic music in it's book, and a really strong history of musical callbacks - particularly with the Meta's theme and how it's so closely tied to the motif Trocadero liked to use as "Wash Trauma" music. Making a clever callback to a song you've used before can help strengthen the thing you're trying to get across to your audience. I think it's somehing that Restoration really struggles with, which is pretty sad. But I hope you found my deep dive / analysis of what could have been interesting.

I'd really like to dive in and do a long reflection about the series as a whole, but as it stands this is around 3,000 words and if I get started on that, this post will never end. I'll probably work on that once i've actually Finished this rewatch.

Thank you for reading all of that!

[theblueskyphoenix]

I head you just got into 03 XD what’s your opinion on everyone? /gen question

XD Well since you asked dear Anon, though I'll try to keep this brief since I can go for hours.

So general thoughts on the turtles:

Leo is best boy and my favorite turtle of this iteration.

This Leo was the first Leo I ever got to know. Cause one thing to clarify: I hd seen part of 03 before I just didn't get fully into it till recently thanks to Stormy. (I had basically only seen season 1.)

Anyways, back to Leo, I love this dork. He's chivalrous, kind and family means everything to him. He's a good boy and is doing his best. Even if he's a bit too hard on himself. Honestly I relate to him a lot, all the more reason he's best boy for me. Also, I love the fact that while he is a serious young man, he also knows how to have fun. Adds a lot to why I love him so much.

Then we have Mikey!

XD He is such a goof ball and I love him for it. I can not tell you how many times this little ball of sunshine has made me laugh with his antics. I also appreciate the fact that while he is a goof, he can take things seriously and overall, he never has any ill intent. He always means the best.

Also his relationship with Klunk gives me life.

Raphael from 2003 is probably my top Raphael.

I ADORE the arcs he gets in 2003. Plus, I love how they give him so many layers to his character. He's not just the angry one, he also has a gentle heart at his core. And he realizes he does have a temper and is trying to better himself. And I appreciate how he serves as a kind of a balance for Leo. The two kind of keep each other in check. (Especially during Season 4 when Leo was going through it. Raph really was the MVP in noticing Leo was not okay.)

So... yes I adore this tough turtle with a heart of gold.

Then finally we have Donnie! The war criminal- I mean precious sweet baby child who totally did not commit grand theft auto multiple times.

Okay all joking aside I adore this guy. I do admittedly have a soft spot for nerds and Donnie certainly fits the bill. Plus he's a sweet heart and a gentleman. Which is all the more reason I feel so bad he gets to see all the horrors. (and endure horrors. Season 4 was rough for this guy.) Also, love the fact he just wants to help anyone in need. He's got the same chivalry as Leo and it makes me happy to see it.

Then as a bonus because I will take any opportunity to squeal about this character because I feel he is under appreciated and is my favorite non turtle character:

Zayton Honeycutt AKA The Fugitoid! (I often call him Fugi lol)

Oh boy I could go for hours about why I like this silly robot man. As stated with Donnie I have a huge soft spot for nerds and Fugitoid is no exception. He's the embodiment of a dorky scientist and it's adorable. Plus, I appreciate how considerate he is of those around him. Like when he met the turtles he just immediately wanted to help them instead of just leaving them high and dry with the federation. He really is a good bot who wants the best for everyone, even if it means sacrificing himself to keep those he cares about safe.

And there's my overall thoughts. <3 Loving 2003 and looking forward to finishing my marathoning soon. Still got a season and half left to go. Looking forward to finishing and making more fun fan art for it. Especially for my sister's fanfict she's working on. (Fish Out of Water. Please give her some love when it comes out. It's gonna be good I promise.)