#it's about their school days I hear
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My Hero Academia Team-Up Missions #48: UA's Textile Arts Club
I can't wait to read this one when it finally becomes available.
#mha team up missions#best jeanist#edgeshot#edgejeanist#shinya kamihara#tsunagu hakamada#these two!#their friendship/ relationship fascinates me!#it's about their school days I hear
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When I was a kid, I regularly lost reading privileges for "having an attitude" and "acting out".
It wasn't as simple as being told not to read during other activities- one of the first times it happened, I remember being six years old, watching my stepfather pull fistfuls of books off my bookshelf and throw them to the floor in a heaping mess while I cried and asked him to stop.
It was weird. Every other adult I knew described me as exceptionally well-behaved, but at home, it was the opposite, and it was blamed on "learning bad habits from that shit you're reading".
Because I couldn't read at home, I spent all my free time at school in the library, reading with my friends.
When I grew up and moved away, I realized that my family life was toxic and abusive, and the "attitudes" I was being punished for were standing up for myself, standing up for my younger siblings, and resisting actual, real-life psychological abuse. Because I'd learned from what I'd read that my family wasn't normal, not like my parents said it was, and in my stories, the heroes were the people who spoke out when it was hard to.
It is insane to me that there are students right now who can't access books. It is insane that books are being outlawed. It is perverse that we are stealing away an entire generation's ability to contextualize their lives, to learn about the world around them, to develop critical thinking skills and express themselves and feel connected to the world or escape from it, whatever and whenever and however they need.
That is not how you raise a compassionate, thoughtful, powerful society.
That's how you process cattle.
It's fucking disgusting.
#I know this is old news but Jesus#Every day I hear more about school book bans and I feels less real#Restriction of information is restriction of freedom#People need stories#Even bad stories#Even tragic or problematic ones#We need to set purity culture on fire I'm not kidding#Abuse mention#Abuse tw
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YOU JUST HƎARD IT FROM [HIS MOUTH] FOR SURƎ!!!
#cw gore#cw blood#jrwi fanart#jrwi suckening spoilers#jrwi suckening#BEEN VEHEMENTLY SCRIBBLING THIS THING ALL DAY#IM SO FUCKING IN LVOE W THE NEW EPISODE#VIV N VEX ARE LITERALLY EVERYTHING I COULDVE EVER WANTED. I LOVE BLOOD AND MEAT AND BLOOD AND MEAT#THE SCRIBBLE IS KINDA ROUGH SO DONT LOOK AT IT TOO HARD BUT EHEHEHEEEE THE FACE THAT I CREATED UNNERVES ME#AND IM VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT. I LOVE CREATING SOMETHING AND HAVING IT EVEN SLIGHTLY PHASE ME#I LOVED ALL THE TOOTH RIPPING NOISES IN THIS EPISODE. AHVE U EVER HAD A TOOTH REMOVED?#SHE USED A BLUNT METAL TOOL TO PUNCH IT OUT. IT REMINDED ME OF THE SPLINTERING OF A TREE. THE WAY IT TORE.#SUCH A SPECIFIC SORT OF CRUNCHING AND SPLINTERING AS A MOLAR WAS RRRRIPPPEEDD FROM THE SOCKET. OHH I LOVE IT.#GOING IN FOR A ROOT CANAL NEXT WEEK AND IM VERY EXCITED. ALL THE DENTISTS LOVE ME N ARE SO NICE TO ME#WHAT A GREAT EPISODE. I HOPE THE URGE TO DRAW MORE STRIKES ME LIKE THIS AGAIN. WEEEE!!#I WANNA ANIMATE EMIZEL GETTIN HIS EYE RRIPPED OUT. BUT. IM ALREADY COOKING 3 OTHER VIV N VEX ANIMATIONS#THERES NO WAY THEY WILL ALL BE FINISHED HELP!! HELP MEE!!!! I HAVE TO MANY IDEAS AND NOT ENOUGH HANDS. DO U GUYS REMEMBER HTF?#OR HAPPY TREE FRIENDS. THE CUTE ANIMAL SHOW W ALL THE BLOOD AND GORE AND TERRIBLE TERRIBLE THINGS HAPPENING TO THE CUTE ANIMALS#in elementary school i would show the 'eyes cold lemonade' to other kids and tell em thats how they make pink lemonade.#hope that helps you undertsand. i wish i could make a lil cartoon w just viv n vex doing what they do best#LOST MY TRAIN OF THOUGHT. IM GOING BACK TO MY LAB. DONT EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ME IN A MILLION YEARS
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redhead :-)
#hiiiiii. time for my weekly check-in lol#slowly but surely figuring out this procreate thing. maybe.#school is still going fine.#school & drawing is p much all i do these days#while i was leaving campus today someone drove by blasting the song from dinner in america#& it is now stuck in my head#i was kind of surprised to hear it in the wild. in my mind that is a very obscure movie. idk#i might have to rewatch it. again.#anyway. it occurred to me that i could totally start making comics now#(being able to draw without being tied to my desk is awesome btw)#so… i might do that#i genuinely miss my boys so bad. like i think about them nonstop all the time but it’s not enough#i haven’t worked on their story (like… canon story) in a while#got sucked into the AU rabbit hole a bit#but i was listening to dhes’ playlist the other day & it got me thinking about the canonverse again#dhes’ playlist btw… pure rage & insecurity lol#so idk. i might spend some time doing canon stuff.#i have not forgotten about the monster boyz lore edit. i just… have no time for it rn#still gonna get it done though !#ok i have to leave. things to do etc etc#rainyrambles#artwip
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im into reverse now...
#HEAR ME OUT.. sonetto and matilda are sun and moon dynamic...but a really interesting one#because usually (not always!) we see sun as bright and cheering person and Matilda appears to be one (she even has such voiceline#i mean sonetto is usually here to help others and share her warm and light while matilda is more about herself (which is not bad#“a glorious sun as bright as matilda”#and sonetto in more reserved.... she seems to be the quiet one here... like moon#yET... they have the symbols of sun and moon in them... sonetto has warm palette +her parade coctume portraying really sunny day#while matilda has colder palette and deals with moon when she is making divinations#next important aspect that...matilda is really influenced by sonetto.. not talking about her obv crush on her...but also in motivation way#matilda wants to be the center of the school like sonetto - the best student. she even got in school partly because of sonetto..#i believe her headband were inspired by sonettos as well... she takes things that were originally sonetto's and reflects it in herself#like moon reflects the sun's light#plus due to matilda's how to say...self-centered (in neutral way) attitude she hasn't yet shared much with others unlike sonetto has#i dont say matilda never helped anyone because its not true... i hope you got me#sonetto impacts others way more than matilda lets say this#to conclude matilda is the moon who really wants to be the sun and sonetto is the sun who sometimes wishes she was the moon#thanks for coming to my tedtalk#also fat matilda yay!#reverse 1999#re: 1999#reverse matilda#matilda bouanich#reverse sonetto#sonetto#also mesmer is my favorite character after matilda#mesmer jr#my art#fat art#fat positivity#fat matilda#fat mesmer
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clocks have a beating heart , ergo they are creature
#pendulums. quartz. and the most heart like at all: the balance assembly#every day i go to school and perform clock surgery#hey do u wanna hear an anecdote about baby haiz. of course u do#when i was a small child i saw an anatomical poster at a doctor's office and my mom had to explain what a heart was#at that time however. i believed doctors only had posters depicting illnesses and stuff on their walls#so when i later heard my own heart beat through my pillow late at night i panicked and woke up my mom about it#who reassured me this is normal and in fact necessary to keep me alive#so to answer the question yes ive always been this neurotic and anxious about my own mortality
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hi! your blog is one of my favourites and i absolutely adore reading your thoughts. my grandfather recently passed away and it feels like i lost myself with him. how do i continue living after this? there is this constant weight on my chest and it feels like an emptiness has made a home inside of me. how do i go on when it feels like the world crashed on my shoulders?
hello, love! this is so very sweet and kind of you, and i hope you're treating yourself gently and kindly right now - there aren't words for a loss like this. that heaviness is difficult, and hard, and painful. it's okay if things don't feel okay, right now, or even soon - i think that's something that a lot of the people i know that have gone through similar grief feel: like they should be able to get back to a relative 'normal' in a [insert far too short period of time].
but it's okay if it hurts. that's where i'd like to start. you're allowed to feel that emptiness, that world-crashed feeling that goes beyond words, beyond time. don't feel like you have to rush this to feel some sort of better. things get easier with time, i promise you this, but sometimes painful feelings are important to feel, too. cry, scream, feel your emotions. they're a part of you. grieve.
it's perhaps a little silly, but when i think about death i always think about a couple of space songs: mainly drops of jupiter by train and saturn by sleeping at last. there are perhaps others that speak to the emotions better, but these two have always hit something a little deeper for me, and are popular for a wide-reaching reason.
and while personally i don't know much about grief like this, i do know a lot about love; and i think they're a lot of the same thing.
the people we love are a part of us, and this is why it takes from us so deeply when we lose them, because it does feel like we've lost a part of ourselves in the wake of it. but it's because they were so central to our experiences of living - our lives, that the separation introduces a hollowness - a place where they used to be. a home that now goes unlived in.
an emptiness, like you said.
but just because they're not here physically, doesn't mean he's not still there, in your heart, in your life, your memory. you can hold him close in smaller ways, as well: steal a sweater, or cologne/scent for something a little more physical and long lasting for remembering. hold onto the memories you cherish, the things that made you laugh, the ease of slow mornings and gentle nights. write them all down, slide a few photographs in there, go through it and add more when you miss him. keep them all close, keep them in your heart.
you're not alone, in this. he's still there, with you, it's just - in the little things.
he's with you in the way you see and go about your daily life, in doing what he liked to do, in the ways he interacted with the world that you shared with him. the memories you recall fondly when the night is late or the moment is right and something calls it into you like a melody, an old bell, laughter you'd recognize anywhere.
but i think, perhaps most importantly above all others - talk about him. with your family, your friends, his friends, strangers; stories are how we keep the people we love alive. the connections they've made, the legacies and experiences they've left behind, and so, so many stories.
how lucky, we are - to love so much it takes a piece of us when they go. grief is the other side of the coin, but it does not mean our love goes away. it lives in you. it lives in everyone who knew him, in the smallest pieces of our lives.
the people we love never really leave us, like this: they're in how we cook and the way we fold our newspapers, our laundry, in the radio stations we tune in to and the way we decorate our walls, our photo albums. they're in the way we store our mail, organize our closets, the scribbled notes in the indexes of our books. the meals we love and the drinks we mix, the way we spend time with one another. they've been passed down for generations, for longer than history - and we are all the luckier for it.
think about what you shared with him, and do it intentionally. bring him into your life, like this, again. whether it's crosswords or poetry or sports or anything else. if one doesn't help, try another. something might click.
i hope things feel a little easier for you, as they tend to do only with time. i hope you find joy in your grief, even if it is small and hard to grasp at first. know that your hurt stems from so much love that there isn't a place to put it properly, and that it is something so meaningful and hurting poets and storytellers have been struggling to put it into words and sounds that feel like the fit right for eons, and that it is also just simply yours. sometimes things don't have to make sense. sometimes they just are - unable to be put into words or neat little sentiments, as unfair and tragic as they come.
but i promise it will not feel like this forever. your love is real. and perhaps, on where to begin on from here - i think it's less on finding where to begin and just beginning. and you've already started. you've taken the most important and crucial step: the first one. wherever you go, after that, from here? you'll figure it out. you always have, and you always do. it'll come, as things always do. love leads us, as does light - and you're never alone in your hurt. in your grief, your missing something dear to you. i think if you talk about it with others, you'll find they have ways of helping you cope as well - and they have so much love of their own to spare, too.
as an aside, here is the song (northern star by dom fera) i was listening to when i wrote this, for no other reason more than it makes me think of connections, and love, and how we hold onto the people we love and how they change us, wonderfully and intrinsically. it's a little more joyous than the others i've mentioned, and plays like a story, and it made me think of what is at the core of this, love and stories and i am here with you, and maybe it'll bring you some joy, if you'd like it. wishing you all my love and ease 💛
#q&a.#birdsong.#wishing u gentle ease; the death of a loved one is near inexplicable to put into words and i hope you take care of yourself gently <3#i hope this will make u laugh: when i was a tiny child in middle school there were times i would go outside in my tiny suburban cul de sac-#in the rain and sing along to my lil ipod nano and i only remember doing this to drops of jupiter. can you imagine going out to get the mai#after a long day of work and you just hear this kid singing train in the streets. in the RAIN.... it makes me laugh like i really.#i really thought i was so cool and deep and emotional ghjkd but i find it v funny that i only remember it w/ that one train track.#and saturn just. it's my fav s.a.l. song for a reason. that slow violin opening? the piano coming in gentle and easy?#it feels like light. like hope. like something new - a dawn after the long dark. that beautiful things can begin again even where#it hurts. and there is nothing more human than a sentiment like that.#how rare and beautiful it is to truly exist. what it is to be alive and get to be here and live with other people. with those we love.#i think your grandfather was so lucky to be able to know you. to have you in his life for the time you had together.#i'm no spiritual person; but i like to believe when you're thinking about him? he's thinking about you too.#the second law of thermodynamics (physics nerd mode) is that no energy has ever been created/destroyed since the beginning of the universe.#so it has to go somewhere - it's that carl sagan quote of 'we're all made of stardust'. because we are. we used to be stars; planets; etc.#i think it's why i think of these space songs - because they're a part of everything; once more; when they go. us and everything else.
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Please please don’t listen to your mind when it plunges you into the depths of despair. It’s lying to you, I promise. Please pray, read some scripture, sing some comfort songs, eat food and drink water, then eat popcorn and drink tea. Take a walk outside in your bare feet and then take a long warm shower. This too shall pass.
#courage dear heart#been having some rough mental health days lately and I’m not entirely sure why#I’ve been waiting to hear back from the college I applyed to and am about to switch jobs again when school starts back for my nieces so#having those things up in the air is a little unsettling#and I’m also pondering a couple things about God and wrestling with some of my beliefs about him that may be wrong which makes me feel#a little more distant from him but not like a crisis or anything#and I still think there’s a hormonal element really out of wack here#my brain should not be giving me the thoughts it’s giving me over pretty small disappointments and circumstances#would appreciate prayers just for peace if anyone reads this
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dpdr + suspected ocd culture is not trusting headphones and needing to always ask people if they can hear what you’re listening to, not because what you’re doing is bad but otherwise you think it’s playing directly out of your device and feel awkward unless someone can tell you it’s fine
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#dpdr ocd culture is#depersonalization culture is#derealization culture is#dpdr culture is#depersonalization#derealization#dpdr#suspected ocd#I had a really weird thing about that in middle school#I swung wildly by the day between like. Fearing For My Life that everyone could hear my music and Not Caring. At All.#weird time#(not that you were asking but while I don't have OCD I do have obsessive compulsive tendencies..... just not disruptive to my life so 👍)#wire earbuds/headphones help with this usually#unless you have a shitty phone/phone case (like I did lmao)#mod cheese
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Link Click single "Prometheus" Fan Translation
youtube
translation under cut!
让黑夜吞噬最后一点光
Let night swallow the last bit of light
就当是一场梦
Pretend this is all a dream
如果无法挣脱索性就让一切都失控吧
If I can't escape, then let everything go out of control
尝尝我的痛
If you have a taste of my pain
或许才会明白哭到失声根本没有用吧
Maybe you'll understand that there is no point to crying
倒数着三二一零
Count down, three two one zero
卖弄可笑的六欲七情
You're still playing up your laughable emotions and desires
这世界已经天翻地覆
This world has already been turned upside down
不如和我一起跳到深渊感受这失重吧 Why don't you jump into the abyss to feel this weightlessness with me
叫他们的幻想蒸发
Let their dreams evaporate
像是面无表情撕碎玩具那般从容
As simple as coldly tearing apart a stuffed toy
谁叫他们学不会听话
It's their fault they keep falling into my hands again and again
还是一次又一次地落入我的手中
Because they can't learn to stay in line
早听腻了烦人的叽叽喳喳
I've long grown tired of this annoying chattering
用绝望在墙上染个碎花
Use despair to paint a splatter on the wall
请他们永远永远闭上嘴吧
Invite them to never, never speak again
[(LTX:) piano solo]
隐秘的血色���黑夜童话
The hidden, blood-soaked midnight fairytale
刹那间将所有光芒抹杀
Smothers all light in an instant
偷走那神的火把
Steal the torch of the gods
坠落下万丈悬崖
Fall down the bottomless abyss
没有归处的人等待世界崩塌
The ones with no home await the world's collapse
(最后的 狂欢吧
(The final carnival
最后的 狂欢吧)
The final carnival)
偷走那神的火把
Steal the torch of the gods
坠落下万丈悬崖
Fall down the bottomless abyss
没有归处的人啊
The ones with no home
静静沉睡吧
Sleep peacefully now
暂时藏起了利爪和鳞片
I'll conceal my claws and scales for now
魔鬼躲进她黑白的琴键
The demon hides in her black and white keys
收起你那套因果循环
Keep your talk of causality and repetition to yourself
我会遭报应吗?反正还没应验
Will I receive retribution? We don't know that yet
都是我的消耗品
(LX:) They're all expendables to me
被我牵着鼻子走还抓不着要领
I'm dragging you along by the nose and you still can't figure it out
一个 两个 三个 四个
(LX:) one, two, three, four
心跳加速只是我的白噪音
The sound of a racing heart is just white noise to me
撬开一层层的保险
Prying away the layers of safeguards
像茶余饭后的消遣
Just to pass the time after a fine meal
对黑夜缺了点敬畏
You people who get hurt needlessly
白白受伤的人
Because you lack respect for the night
看着我��万别眨眼
When you look at me, never blink
下一秒骇人的画面
Lest you miss the scenes of carnage
命运她由我来加减
I am the one who will alter fate herself
我是那灭灯的神
I am the god that extinguishes the light
隐秘的血色的黑夜童话
The hidden, blood-soaked midnight fairytale
刹那间将所有光芒抹杀
Smothers all light in an instant
偷走那神的火把
Steal the torch of the gods
坠落下万丈悬崖
Fall down the bottomless abyss
没有归处的人等待世界崩塌
The ones with no home await the world's collapse
没有归处的人啊
The ones with no home
静静沉睡吧
Sleep peacefully now
(bonus: my translation of 321!)
#link click#shi guang dai li ren#shiguang dailiren#时光代理人#li tianchen#li tianxi#liu xiao#translations i made#ive been listening to this song like almost nonstop since it released on spotify i might have a problem#idk how clear it is that the piano solos are supposed to be ltx's parts of the song but yeah in like the title card sequence#like they have a card for lx and ltc as vocals and then another card for ltx: piano#idk i havent rly seen people talk about it. and how fucked up and evil/pos that is#ESPECIALLY CUZ. RIGHT BEFORE THE PIANO SOLO YOU CAN HEAR TIANCHEN GOING shhhh#like hes telling people to be quiet so they'll listen to his sister ;-;#also. felt the need to include those two line indicators for lx because idk i have a hard time telling apart their voices and#those two lines being by lx has some. WORRYING implications#although me using his initials is always gonna be kinda funny to me bc im doing lighting design for a school production which means#when i see the letters lx my first thought is lighting team LMAO#Youtube#Spotify#ALSO. ANOTHER FUNNY FUN FACT. FROM THE BTS WITH FAN KA. APPARENTLY LTC'S 321 COUNTDOWN WAS WRITTEN LIKE#WITHOUT KNOWLEDGE OF THE CONTENT OF 321 LIKE THE OTHER SONG#so like that whole thing was apparently a total coincidence. which#WILD
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Okay so I’ve seen like 20 videos on tiktok of people saying they have no idea how exy is played so I’m gonna make a post about how I understand the rules. I’m not really an athlete but I know a bit about sports and I also coincidentally went to the same school that PSU is based on
(I haven’t read the books in like 5 years so if I’m wrong about something feel free to correct me)
First thing, exy is played inside, not outside. The game can’t work in an outdoor stadium and I’ll explain why in a minute. The stadium is like a combination basketball court and hockey rink. Wood flooring and plexiglass walls surrounding the court. There are two goals on each end.
Okay so the lineup. From what I remember there’s 4 positions you can play on an exy team: dealer, backliner, striker, and goalie.
Backliner is pretty straightforward just classic defense. They protect the goal and focus on the other team’s strikers. I think it’s similar to basketball where they’re assigned a mark (opposing striker) who they have to cover during the game. That doesn’t mean they’re not free to move or check other strikers either, but basically they try to stop the other team from scoring any goals. I’m not sure if it’s against the rules for them to make an attempt on a goal or not.
Strikers are similarly straightforward. They’re straight offense. Their job is to get as many goals as possible. They work against the opposing team’s backliner and shoot at the goal
The dealer is the most confusing position but I think they basically control possession of the ball, so I think their job is to get the ball from the other team and make sure it gets to their strikers. At the start of the game or after any breaks they’re the ones who deal the ball and try to pass to their teammates. Idk if they operate similar to backliners or not, like checking, tackling, etc.
The goalie is the same as any other sport- their job is to protect the goal. Goalies have special racket that are bigger and heavier than other players. They also wear special padding to protect them since they’re constantly getting exy balls chucked at them and often have to use parts of their body to block them.
(Side note: if exy balls are anything like lacrosse balls they seriously hurt to get hit with. They’re dense and heavy, when they work up enough speed it feels like getting hit by a slightly bouncy cannon ball)
From what I can remember, at any given time there are two backliners, two strikers, one dealer, and one goalie on the court for each team. Players are subbed in and out as needed (I might be remembering the numbers wrong, maybe they have 3 backliners at a time idk)
Exy is a high contact sport similar to lacrosse, so players are free to use physical force against each other. They can check, tackle, and basically do whatever it takes to get the ball. Just like in hockey, players often get into fights. Excessive use of violence can get them flagged by referees, but it’s by no means a gentle sport. Players go into it with the expectation of getting thrown around and bruised.
Players wear padding and helmets to protect themselves, but bruises, sprains, concussions, and broken bones aren’t uncommon within the sport.
There are some basic rules for how the game is played. Exy is kinda like lacrosse in that players pass the ball back and forth with their raquets. I don’t know a lot about all the rules of lacrosse but I know exy has a rule about possession that’s similar to basketball. In basketball a player has to dribble the ball while they’re moving, if they hold it in their hands without dribbling for too many steps it’s called traveling and it’s a foul. Exy is the same, a player can only be in possession of the ball for 10 (?) steps before they have to pass it. If they carry it farther than that it’s traveling (idk if there’s a special term for it in exy speak). There are ways for players to get around this. They can either pass the ball to a teammate after they’ve taken their 10 steps OR they can rebound it off a wall, catch it in their racquet, and keep moving. This is the reason exy has to be played inside and not outside, so that the players can use the walls. If it’s played outside they can’t rebound the ball and they have to rely strictly on passing back and forth, which isn’t always possible especially if a player is being heavily guarded. I’m not positive if this possession rule applies to all players or only strikers, but it would make sense for it to be all players.
I can’t remember if the books say anything about who is allowed to shoot at the goal. Obviously strikers can but I can’t remember if there are any rules saying backliners, dealers, and goalies can’t score points
The game is played in 2 halves, a total of 4 quarters. I’m not sure if the book ever says how long each quarter is but it’s probably safe to assume each is 15 minutes, so a total of 1 hour playing time. However with timeouts, breaks, penalty time and other interruptions games usually last far longer.
The foxes are a unique team because they’re much smaller than pretty much any other team in the league. They only have 9 players by the end of the year, so they can’t sub players in and out as easily. Most teams have upwards of 18 people so the players are usually on court for a much shorter time and have more time to rest between playing time. In the foxes vs. Trojans game, USC decided to play with the same size roster as the foxes meaning they rarely got to sub out players, which is why they were so exhausted by the end. Throwing yourself around a huge court at top speed for an hour is tiring.
That’s all I can think of at the moment, I’m not an expert and it’s been a while since I’ve read the books but I think exy is a pretty cool sport :)
#literally 2 people said they wanted to hear it that’s more than enough for me :))#all for the game#aftg#the foxhole court#mostly I wanted to make this because I think the rule about counting steps is really neat bc it makes the sport wayyyyy harder for no reason#tfc#exy#the raven king#the kings men#neil josten#andrew minyard#kevin day#renee walker#dan wilds#the foxes#foxes#ao3#the sunshine court#palmetto state foxes#psu foxes#sorry this is so long#and also probably unnecessary because this is a made up sport from a book series but I don’t care#it’s my hyperfixation I get to decide how seriously I’m taking the rules of exy#sorry for the long post thank you if you bothered to read all that I love you :D#long post#but yeah I went to the same school as Nora that she based the books on and it was super weird because I was a student when I read them and#I did NOT realize she went there too and it weirded me out how similar psu was to my school until I looked it up#I was like ‘they’re driving on cherry road? I LIVE ON CHERRY ROAD’#help how do I make this a read more post so it’s not 20 miles long#I FIGURED IT OUT
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it’s so crazy how one day you start saying “I love you” to someone in your life for the first time and then you just keep on doing so for years to come
#deity dialogue#I’m not friends with them anymore just due to having drifted away but I rmemeber the first time I said I love you to my best friend in middl#school. it was at the end of the day and we split up to go to our separate home rooms and I accidentally blurted out ‘I love you bye!’ or#soemthing and gasped and was about to say ‘sorry my bad’ or something but she replied saying she loved me too and that made me so happy#I always feel lame and like braggy(?) saying that I am a very affectionate person but I am!#I am so full of love for people but also scared of being affectionate but also I can’t not be affectionate#and so my fear is not being loved back like to say I love you to someone and not have them say it back (which does happen and it’s okay#because I am not owed love even from friends)#so idk hearing someone say they love me back just makes me so happy#I can’t really remember the first time I said I love you to other people like obvs it happened but now I’m so used to telling people I love#them every day multiple times a day and it#idk* I’m just full of love for my friends and I’m glad that they love me back#sorry I’m half asleep lmao
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he’s like a girl to me <3
#lime art#oc: Kaden#i think Kaden can have a little she/he pronouns as a treat#limes are also allowed to post art two days in a row :)#they wont tell you this in art school#been getting really into shapes recently. you guys hear about triangles? this shit rules#Colossus Fall
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my mom recently reminded me that when i was in 5th grade my teacher would periodically report to her that i was "sneaky" because i would ask to use the bathroom during class and instead go retrieve things from my locker that i had forgotten to bring with me
and even at the time she thought this was ridiculous and obviously not representative of an intrinsically deceitful nature, fortunately for me. but it's really extra ridiculous looking back on it now as a 28-year-old research professional who has to double back into the room i just left for some combination of gloves, tube rack, ice bucket, or samples at least once a day, a quality absolutely no one cares about or would ever make me justify to another person and which i therefore don't have to tell contrived lies about
#i did eventually develop more capacity to check for an essential list of items before going somewhere less accessible#e.g. if i am going to teach or to a meeting across campus i don't like. forget my laptop#but something that's down the hallway??? for a non-time-bounded activity?#i am probably never going to develop the capacity to have 100% of those things every time i go somewhere and it just. doesn't matter.#my school was less weird about this stuff than a lot of places i hear about and most teachers would e.g. enter negotiations about a way#for me to hand things in that i would actually consistently remember was happening and could show up to. so usually i was fine.#but it just made it more notable that this person thought i was like. an inveterate liar. because i wanted to go get the 1 notebook i forgo#out of the six books and notebooks i was supposed to be carrying around that day#without getting publicly scolded for being too disorganized to adapt to future life stages.#box opener
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Question if Mukuro is based on Kushana, does that make Hiei Nausicaa?
#i know one school of thought could b that he might be the kurotowa.... but thats wrong hiei has 0 thoughts 0 ambitions 0 plans#kurotowa was planning 24 7 365-6 any time kushana is mia he schemes when she reappears he goes “welp guess i abandon my plans”#not in a “u dont have to-” “no im gonna” way begone that thought that man is constantly being bribed and pinged about plots#and he keeps having to tell them “no kushanas still alive i was working on that but sorry shes too good at what she does”#i dont mean to imply hiei is nausicaa bc head empty hiei is nausicaa if she didnt have sparrowhawk i mean yupa#and other relationships to remind her that she doesnt believe in escalatory violence to achieve “peace” & if she hadnt thought#day in day out about how she wants to achieve a tangible but difficult to achieve life goal she is nonetheless willing to strive towards#yyh things#hiei#mukuro#........... having princess hiei of the valley of the wind visions thank you me#not every scene but that one “dont be scared in the forest that kills you if youre too scared to think properly” particularly#imagining nausicaa and hiei meeting and nausicaa is very steady patient and very intelligent and is extremely unimpressed w hiei#she hears about the “and what if I say the word 'hot' what then idiot” and shed be like (closes eyes) “that sounds like him” (suffering)#nausicaa
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i think one of the most disappointing things is to see that your childhood friends have grown up to represent the kind of people you're disappointed in
#had a friendship break up w like one of my entire friend groups of six ppl?#found out that one of the girls in our friend group had sent screenshots of our private conversation about smth I was hurt over#to a gc with our other friends (but not me ofc)#and they all proceeded to talk shit about me :// I swear the way my stomach dropped when the friend I was having the convo w#sent me screenshots of what our mutual friends were saying about me#she knew how much it would hurt me but still did it just to prove a point (though I'm certain she misrepresented our conversation + my word#to them considering she blocked out what she had initially said to them lol)#my stomach hasn't dropped like that since high school#which is exactly where I thought we left this kind of deceitful behaviour. like how are you guys twenty one and still sending screenshots#and talking bad behind only one (1) friend's back when you know she can't defend herself in that space#I immediately texted our collective gc to explain a text she had sent but failed to give context for#then told them if I'm as selfish as they say I will leave this friend group. and then I left that gc#I also texted two friends who I knew were talking shit and I sent them the screenshots that first “friend” sent and pointed out how#she blocked out what she said so I'm suspicious that she skewed our conversation so they (the two other “friends”) should be wary#I told them I understood it was fair game to stoop. this low considering neither of them tried to reach out to me to hear my side#or defend me + my privacy#for context: the original argument was me voicing out that I was upset bc that first “friend” had invited and planned with with our friend#group an event that landed on my birthday without checking in with me if I was planning to spend time with them that day#and she kept defending herself and saying she didn't know I'd plan smth (probably bc my bday is two months away lmao) and she said#the event they'd be attending is just as important and necessary as being there for my birthday?? it's literally just a party her brother#(who none of us are close to lol) is DJing at. and I brought up how I'm their close friend (not her brother) and it's not fair to call#it equally necessary. but I suspect she skewed what I said greatly considering all of our friends started calling me selfish and unfair#but yeah v v crazy and hurtful and just astonishing#salmaspeaks
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