#it's a world full of struggles this one
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I'm crying so hard at this video but most of all at the comments. Needed to share it.
youtube
#bless all the angels who help people in need even when they're not swimming in a pool full of money themselves you know?#i pray everyday for that whenever there's a person needing help in any way i'll be aware enough to notice and do something if i can#sometimes we're so inside our own little worlds we just don't see it how the most humble help can be a life saver to somebody else#not only financial help but also a shoulder to cry on or a hug or supportive words... even a compliment can make someone's day you know...#I feel really really grateful to god when i can help people in any way#and i've felt the help coming back my way when i needed... many times#gratitude is a positive vicious circle i think#it's about to feel it and to provide those feelings to others too <3#but the thing is... i feel sad knowing there are moms out there literally needing to steal baby formula and food#it's a world full of struggles this one#but there's still hope#i still have faith in humanity#may the people in need always find the people willingly to be the helping hand they pray for#Youtube
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“He knows Timmy will come around eventually. It's only a matter of waiting for his clock to run out. And HP is very patient.” Hey uh.. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN HIS CLOCK TO RUN OUT is he waiting for Timmy to become a full fairy (Pixie?) and when that happens Timmy forgets about being a human entirely?
Sometimes Timmy wonders why he has grudges against certain fairies. Some of them, he can understand- like his dislike of Dr. Rip Studwell. But other ones, like with Cupid, it's a bit of a blur.
He must've been a very very vindictive 10 year old! Ah, well! Timmy's learned that he has to pick and choose his own battles wisely.
And uh. Fighting with the man who decides his paycheck and vacation days is not a battle worth choosing. Talk about a hostile work environment!!
Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]
#fairly oddparents#fop#fop a new wish#fop timmy turner#fop timmy#timmy turner#fop sanderson#sanderson#asks#itty bitties fop au#ough i had a massive fight with timmy's finger in the 3rd panel#it is 430 in the morning and i pushed thru to get this one out so that the story didnt end on a sadder note#so i will wake up tomorrow and figure out whatever errors and mistakes ive made in the morning#sanderson asks timmy bcs as far as sanderson is concerned#timmy really.. shouldnt?? have any grudges against them#yeah yeah they tried taking over fairy world yeah yeah tried taking timmy's fairies#but that was just business babeyyy#and timmy involved HIMSELF into their schemes!!! which is. yknow. not their problem.#(he involved himself with very very good reason of course. they literally tried taking over earth and fairyworld)#but they're pixies and they dont understand the righteous fury of a 10 year old boy full of human compassion#funnily enough. as more time passes even timmy's struggling to understand the righteous fury of a 10 year old full of human compassion#hazel wells is VERY confusing for timmy turner#he doesnt really get it#nearly as much as sanderson doesnt really get timmy's grudges against HP!
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got him off-balance!
#my art#ds9#star trek deep space nine#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#watercolor#image desc in alt text#i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare#“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior#if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad#ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole#the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod#AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel#because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it#often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows#i struggled at first to find full body references#they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless
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IAN GALLAGHER + his journey with bipolar disorder
╰┈➤ “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of." - Carrie Fisher
#happy world bipolar day to all my bp babies#(more thoughts at the end of the tags)#shameless#shamelessnet#shamelessedit#ian gallagher#cameron monaghan#*macygifs#bipolar disorder#hello pals how are we doin#i made this gif set in july of 2023 and never posted it because 1) i was terrified to share it and potentially see Bad Takes in the tags#and 2) because my hyperfixation was waning. and while both of those things are still mostly true (the fixation comes and goes)#i feel like it's really important to share as ian's bipolar storyline was not only so vital to his character it was a bit of representation#that isn't often given to the disorder and those (like myself) who live with it every single day#world bipolar day is a day where we can both celebrate ourselves and our resilience and also raise awareness of the reality of the disorder#which is both terrifying and beautiful at its core. this disease is not a death sentence or a sentence to an unfulfilled and miserable life#while there are challenges galore when it comes to balancing life with this disorder it IS possible to live a full and productive life#and i think it's really important to have representation of that in media - and while shameless dropped the ball on a LOT of storylines#over the years THIS is the one they really fucking nailed and i am incredibly grateful#i first started watching shameless while in the midst of a major depressive episode and i was later (finally) diagnosed during an extended#hypo/manic episode - this show and ian's storyline got me through so much and made me feel so seen and validated in my struggles#world bipolar day is also vincent van gogh's birthday (happy birthday buddy) who was posthumously diagnosed with bipolar disorder#and who experienced both depressive and hypo/manic episodes during his lifetime (and was regularly institutionalized)#it takes a lot of help and support to keep us going. it takes the support of our family and friends and *most* of all#it takes patience and kindness and understanding - which is so so so easy to give if you are willing to love and listen#so please. be willing. listen to our stories. be patient with us. show us love without conditions. support us in any way you can.#we are worth it#i promise#anyway. that's really all i wanted to say. happy world bipolar day to those who celebrate (me) and may all of us living with this disorder#go on to live happy fulfilling beautiful magical lives
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Kinda obsessed with the historical context of Rise of the Guardians. Pitch wanting the Dark Ages to come back, which historically was the decline of culture and records. The Guardians rose at the same time as the Renaissance with the rise of culture, knowledge, and science. (Tooth in particular mentions that she hasn’t been out in the field for 440 years, give or take, which would put that smack dab in the middle of the Renaissance)
The way Pitch doesn’t want the world to change, the way the Guardians change in tune with the world. The way Jack, who lived in has a human in the 17th or 18th century, who lived in the time after the Renaissance and lived witnessing the world all the way to the modern era, is there to show the Guardians how much they missed and how they can further change and improve for the more modern world. These characters are immortal beings who have so much power over the world, it makes so much sense that when they fall and rise in power it impacts the world that they want to influence, for better or for worse.
#In the official comic where pitch is chosen as a guardian but refuses#he says that the guardians would rather put their destiny in the hands of children#instead of being the ones who influence their fates#he views it as ‘stepping back’ rather than protecting and guiding#it gives such good insight to how he views the world and his place in it#especially how he functions in history as ‘the dark ages’#And in Joanne Matte’s unofficial comics there’s an implication that the magical world has disappeared/died out because of colonization#I’m partial to that particular idea because this whole theme is very Eurocentric and the books are worse with it#it’s a contrast to the idea of the renaissance#and the ‘rebirth’ of culture#and the Guardians aren’t ‘in the field’ at that point and get caught up with their work so much#that they lost the point of why they do the work they do#to the point that Pitch can tip the scales and effect them so much#even though he cannot fight them at their full power#I really do like how they connected these characters and themes with history#it makes so much sense for immortal characters#even power struggles and scrimmages can change the world#rise of the guardians#rotg#jack frost#pitch black#sanderson mansnoozie#e. aster bunnymund#toothiana#nicholas st. north
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dont @ me but i 100% think cullen needs reading glasses.
i have nothing to base this on besides the fact that i think old-timey spectacles would improve his look and also he is sitting reading in an office 24/7 and you expect me to think this man still has 20/20 vision? lol.
#commander cullen#cullen rutherford#dragon age inquisition#this is the vision(pun intended). late night in office. armor off bc its 9pm. hair getting loose and curls returning. spectacles askew.#ink on fingers. a handful of reports to keep reading through. candles burning real low but 'just one more and i'll sleep'.#i also think he'd hate people thinking he needs them#like he'd hide that he needs them#especially as he doubts his own fitness for command he probably feels he needs to project the 'best' version of himself.#not that needing glasses is flawed but this man is full of self-loathing. he is the world champ of thedas self-hater competitions.#and struggling with lyrium and his body betraying him in other ways as a result could be conflated with other perceived physical limits#vultures and dragons
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People don’t talk about MC needing to wear a magical ring to not accidentally yk cause NATURAL DISASTERS with their powers??? Not only accidentally but without realising???
Diavolo or smthn is asking too much of MC or being a bit too annoying and their other hand slowly drifts towards the ring and they hold onto it while maintaining dead eye contact. Like continue to piss me off hoe I’ll blink and blow a hole in your castle idk
Obv they never do it (or do they?) but the threat is there and it’s a risk dia (or whoever but I’m using dia) can’t take
#‘MC it’s your turn to take the trash out!’#*slowly reaches for the ring*#‘on second thought-‘#type beat#no cause why have I not seen ANYONE talk about how MCs magic is so strong they were GETTING RID OF PONDS in the celestial realm#and CREATING SINK HOLES in the devildom#I’ve also heard they were causing Natural disasters in the human world but I don’t remember if that was canon or not#imagine an MC that has sensory issues that means they struggle to wear rings to sleep#or just the DENT MC would get on their fingers from it😭#uf it was lucifers ring then it might not even fit on most fingers if your MC is small. like#new toe ring just dropped ig? gotta go on the thumb dude#obey me#obey me solmare#obey me!#obey me shall we date#btw if ur seeing this#are you guys getting tired of these low effort posts that just revise the canon in joke form#because I’m just being lazy and I can try putting in more effort and writing more full five if u want💔#I have a fic and some ideas in my drafts but i can never seem to put my motivation towards writing#always art#which I don’t even post 99%#and when I do it’s basically never on this acc it’s my art/oc one#so this acc gets neglected#these tags are too long peace out chat
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TW // Food , EDs
Something about Usopp getting sent to an island where delicious food is used as bait and he has to actively fight to eat (thus probably ending up just straight-up not eating some days and relating food to negative experiences) and Sanji constantly using food to serve and make others enjoy but barely eating himself because it isn't as rewarding and he doesn't really care about his well-being because he is used to starving (both physically and emotionally).
Like-- Usopp not really refusing to eat but kind of having a defense mechanism/odd quirks around it (eating too fast, keeping food for later, feeling safer if he straight up doesn't eat, or directly not being hungry at all) and Sanji actively just forgetting to feed himself and when he tries to do so he isn't... Full? At all? or satisfied? It just leaves him emptier. He likes giving food to others, that's what completes him. Eating just because just feels wrong for him.
So you have this guy with strong defense mechanisms against food who treats it as a necessity to live instead of enjoyment and another who treats food as an enjoyment but ONLY for other people and never himself.
And I like to think Usopp, after spending so much time getting used to storing food just in case he can't go hunting for more, still does the same when he's back with the crew. But he doesn't even know why he does it exactly. He is eating. He doesn't need to do this. But then he realizes he always thinks about Sanji whenever he keeps food. Usopp notices Sanji barely eats if the food is something he gives to himself, but gladly enjoys it when it's somebody else's doing. So Usopp just waits until everybody is out of the kitchen to approach Sanji and go "Hey, um, would you like to share the leftovers with me?" and something like that. And Sanji does end up eating more than usual which is, you know, an average meal.
On the other hand, Sanji stays with Usopp while he eats and speaks to him. Makes him feel safe so he doesn't have to make everything quick and running. Make him see that he is alright and he can take his time to enjoy the food without any worries. At the end of the day, they end up eating together after the whole crew has gone away, but that's more than fine with them.
#they mean the world to me okay#as somebody who struggles with food these two characters are my beloveds i would do anything to see them happy and full and eating#usopp getting sent to an island full of food that probably will end up killing you is something that can be so sanuso coded and also#so fucked up. my boy :( we don't talk enough about this#i mean. we do talk a lot about this i've seen people doing it but we need to talk MORE#one day i'll talk about how sanji goes to an island where he finds himself running away from himself and he's afraid and anxious 24/7#it's like they swapped places and i find that perfect#anyway the food thing-- i think they get better with time being together#after wci it gets... worse. but it's alright they work on it together#one piece#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso#tw food#tw eating issues
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The funny thing is that I do kind of agree that if alien civilizations do exist and have to manage resources like us, they would also have class conflicts and a version of dialectics and communism. Though this is wholly speculative of course.
Hmm. Maybe I SHOULD read Posadas.
#cosas mias#Star Maker by Olaf Stapledon does say something like this... lots of different alien civilizations but the earth-like ones at least#have class struggle and only reach interestellar stages after achieving a world state which is basically communism#then again that book is full of telepathy and such
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it’s like. i love being trans. and also if there was a loving god he wouldn’t do this to me
#usually my mental illness is emotional Nothingness. when i take wellbutrin i can feel again!#and when the wellbutrin loses efficacy i keep the feeling but lose the good ones so i just unlock Regular Depression. which fucking Sucks#and a couple weeks ago i ran out of t gel and it is a controlled substance so they wouldn’t give me my refill until the full 60 days were up#which meant i had to be off t for like a week. and i was so so hopeful that it wouldn’t do anything to me.#but it restarted my cycle so i’m bleeding rn. and it is so fucking awful#it Hurts and it feels Humiliating and Wrong#cramps and stomach issues And dysphoria and bleeding. nothing more evil to do to me right now#and it’s worse cause i was done with that. i literally GOT RID OF IT. I PUT THE WORK IN. I WAS FREE.#but i couldn’t have my medicine and now i no longer control my own body. horrifying. so horrifying#wore a kind of ill fitting binder today too and it kickstarted Other dysphoria on the drive home so. messed up rn.#i just want to be able to live my life man. i want to have a body that looks and functions like me#and can feel things and do things#and doesn’t subject me to hurt in multiple multiple ways. that would be really cool.#genuinely it does not fucking matter if god loves me. cause if this is what i go through when he loves me#then i don’t want his fucking love.#i hope god kills himself actually#i want to wake up and just be able to put a shirt on and leave the house. can you imagine a fucking world#gonna try nd sleep for like five minutes and then go to dinner with my mom. i can be okay. i can be stronger than my struggles#i just need to be really fucking angry with god.#great time to be reading paradise lost#valentine notes
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i hate how entitled I end up feeling bc this is my sentiment but . Really really resenting that my parents aren’t going to help me with school or rent or anything while they super can
#230k income and they say they can’t afford to help. bull fucking shit#I work full time and make 30k a year and my mom said#and I quote#‘that’s it?’#YES THATS FUCKING IT HOLY SHIT?#I had to beg her to help with medical expenses for the cat she LEFT US WITH#and she says her and my dad can barely afford their house but she has never had access to their financials#so how would she know all of a sudden#I don’t know I’m struggling and I’m making a budget spreadsheet and I don’t have time for hobbies trying to do both work and school#and it makes me so angry because all my friends get help from their parents and mine just. I don’t know#I feel abandoned and hurt because it was like my mom and us against the world but she chose my dad in the end and that meant shutting us out#like whatever it is what it is. but it’s also not and I have so much hurt and anger pent up because I feel fed to the fucking wolves#btw out of their 3 kids I’m the only one they would have to pay ANY tuition for#and I’m going to a state school in the state which I was born and currently live. it would not be financially devastating.#(for them.)#fafsa is going to give me nothing unless I get married to my boyfriend so I can be an independent#bc fafsa is so fucking awful and is like mmmmm your parents will pay :) but they WONT THATS THE FUCKING POINT
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2024 reads / storygraph
This World Is Not Yours
scifi novella
a newly married couple and their childhood friend join a colonisation project on a new planet
as the settlement’s population doesn’t growing fast enough, they’re required to split up and pair with men, to reproduce so the settlement reaches its population goals
but as they try to get used to the new life, jealousy and old betrayals grow
while the biological defense system of the planet that destroys invasive organisms, starts to change and become a threat..
sapphic & ace man MCs
#This World Is Not Yours#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#this is okay!#it’s definitely mostly interpersonal issues. i personally was more interested in the scifi situation and wanted more of that#I struggled a bit with the timeline of things happening#I thought the character dynamics were interesting in theory#I just think I would have cared more with a full books’ worth of development rather than just the brief novella?#ace character is one of those ambiguous probably-aroace-but-never-clarifies and it's just vaguely referenced a couple times#whatever was going on with his narrative was the most interesting part tho. just wish it were more fleshed out
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So, I, Um.... Yeah.
Perchance To Dream
Chapter One: First, The Storm
"There, there, you're all right now," I gently lied, as I lay him down to rest. And then, I told the truth, with all my heart. "And it will be all right. The room is dry, Sherlock. The waters are far, far from you, and they will not enter as long as I am here. Now rest. I will only be a moment." "Promise, John?" he asked, voice still high, faint, brittle. It was my name he'd said, I insisted to myself, most firmly. Mine.
(A fanfiction for Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened; Frogwares videogame series)
#Sherlock Holmes The Awakened#Sherlock Holmes Chapter One#Frogwares Sherlock Holmes#Frogwares Jon#Sherry and Jon#i did this ALMOST ACCIDENTALLY i simply have so mANY TANGLED feelings about Jon in general#and how watson would inevitably FEEL ABOUT HIM.#this GUY from sherlock's past who HAS HIS NAME and sherlock CRIES OUT TO#...no he doesn't know the Truth About Jon yet but he uh. will.#it'll be okay i promise but OH GOD i am ALL OVER the SERIOUSLY MESSY PTSD and Unhealthy but Ultimately Loving Struggles#they're both trying SO HARD.#all three of them are TRYING SO HARD.#and yeah we're going fULL SHAKESPEARE LEVEL DRAMA. nothing else seemed remotely DRAMA ENOUGH.#and that quote isnt flowery it's METAL when you know what it's about#'what dreams may come' = EVEN IN DEATH WILL YOU BE FREE OF NIGHTMARES?#and that's sherlock's world rn! lolol
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Contemplating the concept of "potential" when it comes to intelligence and realizing how heartbreaking Logan's "Dreams come true, that's news to me" line in the Crofters Musical.
#screaming into the void#definitely not okay today lads#i'm finding myself grieving my intelligence and contemplating if it was ever there to begin with#when i was younger i excelled in science so everyone assumed that i was a gifted kid despite my very obvious struggles in math and spelling#i was told over and over if i could just apply myself to other subjects the way i did with science#then i would do better in those subjects and reach my full potential#my identity was hung on my intelligence for me by the adults in my life none of them even considering a learning disability#now as an adult it all feels meaningless#especially having been forced into going to college where it was made very quickly and abundantly clear that I wasn't actually gifted#i was just average#that was absolutely devastating to me and it's a thing i struggle with and i want to be angry about it but i dont know how to be#i was told over and over in childhood that i could be anything when i grew up that i could do anything if i just put my mind to it#then recieved little to no actual educational support for any of it especially when i discovered writing#and i dont know if i was never as smart as i was told i was or never even had the potential i was told i had#or if i just didnt have enough support#i dont believe in myself anymore and i dont think i was ever actually believed in by the adults in my life either#i think they would have supported me better if they had#or maybe they just didnt know how to#my dad has wondered and questioned me about where my drive ans passion went and i dont have the heart to tell him that#it evaporated when he told me i wouldn't be successful as a writer when he told me that i would only be successful by going to college#when he constantly questioned everything i did and made me doubt myself over and over again#i dont know how to combat this feeling of worthlessness that comes from feeling lied to about my intelligence as a kid#i dont know how to comfort myself in the face of realizing i probably didnt have all then potential i was promised i had#and even if i did at one point have it i lacked the support necessary to nuture and grow it#how does one grieve being promised the world only to find out that was never truly an option?#how does one become comfortable with learning and growing again when it's been made to feel unsafe#and a threat to their frail sense of identity?#how does one find peace and contentment in an ordinary life when they were promised so much more?#not just promised so much more but expected to be so much more and now feel the weight of expectation on them?#i feel like i was promised the world and told that it would be easy to conquer and when it wasnt it was due to my own fault and failings
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No but like. Men could be the lowest of the low, not be knowing the most basic shit, inept at wit or anything else pertaining to the brain or mind or conscious, and yet the audacity be there. Like. How.
#legit listening to my brother tall of how many qualities he has which mainly just includes having a nice face and using his voice#like this is the dude who is in his last year of high school and absolutely refuses to look at a book for more than half an hour a day#you can imagine the amount of basic knowledgeable he would have with that time period dedicated to studies (not even dedicated hes forcedto)#he knows nothing of the most basic thing needed in class#knows nothing of even the language subjects#and yet thinks just because he can talk he can land a job#theres delusional and then theres this piece of shit#like this family is on the verge of struggling financially and this dude decides to use the lakhs of the rupees worth of tution to eat out#with friends and learn NOTHING#like#im legit so. like i wish he would succeed in life by the sheer power of luck and wishes bc god knows hes a degenerate#yet we care enough to not have him roam around like how it looks like he might bc lets be real if not that he'll end up being a worse pain#but seriously tho how does one be SO behind the very fundamental of human experience and still think their gaming skills and music taste#can save them in this world?#this dude is more or less addicted to his phone and literally like im not exaggerating hes so dumb you have one conversation with him and it#becomes glaringly obvious bc hes so delusional about it that he talks with full confidence but you realise hes not really talking hes just#spitting bs that hes heard on youtube 😭#not to drag him or anything but im seriously so sympathetic. how much of an idiot do you have to be?#to think HIGH SCHOOL education is worthless? hIGH SCHOOL. Tgats like. the very bottom of it.#worst part is he refuses to acknowledge he should get better 🗿#so theres no point in helping bc its one steo forward ten steps back with him#and also feels shitty as fuck to be guiding a fucking 18 yo thru SCHOOL#its fucking SCHOOL FOR CRYING OUT LOUD
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the other thing is that when i was throwing up all that was coming out was green liquid. nothing solid, just a translucent green liquid. i don't think i ate a single thing yesterday.
#and in the morning i had asked if she could grab me kraft mac and cheese when she called and said she was going to the store#because all i could stomach was that simple fake cheese taste#and instead she comes home with a trader joes one that has all toppings in it and stuff and i was like. i really don't think i can stomach#this rn bc I've been struggling to eat anything with any sort of complex flavor profile for days since im sick and my taste is wonky#and she got mad at me for that. that i couldn't eat the thing i didn't tell her to get me#found an old box of kraft but it was 3 years expired and full of bugs#so i just didn't eat#because after that i lost access to the world outside of my room
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