#it’s too much for my brain
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Arcane season 2 ending made me too sad so yk what, everything is fine actually, Viktor is now a teacher at the Academy and he mentors young Zaunite students. That's how I choose to cope.
#arcane#arcane season 2#arcane viktor#arcane jayce#arcane jinx#arcane ekko#arcane spoilers#arcane s2#jayvik#timebomb#arcane au#digital art#my art#clip studio paint#the amount of time I put into this piece is way too much for me lmao#I'm not used of drawing background that was a pain in the ass#but also I hid a few funny things on the blackboard feel free to look for it#very self indulgent#I'm craving Viktor and Jinx interactions they would have been such a cool duo in another life#Viktor being Jinx's mentor scratches my brain perfectly#I have so much thoughts about this au
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life of regret
#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford#gravity falls#my art#no way . i had all of these tags written out on mobile ab stanford and fiddleford post fallout and it CRASHEDDDD#THEYRE GONEEEWW (slipping thru my fingers like sand)#whag freaking ever . i was just talking about how i always forget theres a pocket of time between their split and fords disappearance#and how crazy it is that i had no idea fidds used the gun on ford until last month#it just unlocked smt in my brain thats all.👐 and then i said i was smashing my head w a rock. maybe even 20❤️#tbh i was neutral on fidds back then but i rly rly like him now T_T .. power of other fidd enjoyers lifting me up#i had a lot of fun coloring this one but i didnt know what exactly i wanted to do w it . i had fidds and the gun all finished#but i was like uhhh.. >added the wrapped light#and then i added a whole bunch of scribbled soc of the blind eye symbols but it was waay too crowded/busy#i wish i couldve found a way to keep them😧 u know when HAHAHAHAH u know those ugly like#math prints of just random equations . thats what it started looking like n i had 2 tap out#editing 2 say i posted this and i had that panic NOOO WAIT ITS JOT FINISHED but I Will be Okay.<say it w me#if i spend too much time on it ill just overwork it and then never share so -__-
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AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
#actually adhd#actually autistic#audhd#aphelion.txt#ik 'adhd brain' vs 'autism brain' is a gross oversimplification especially given how much overlap there can be#but it at least helps me conceptualize wtf is going on in my head when i do this lol#and yeah i'm mostly referring to fandoms in this post but it can happen w more 'Traditional' special interests too#like my linguistics special interest which hasn't popped up in a couple years now but whenever it does#i will fill literal notebooks while studying 4 languages at once and simultaneously inventing a conlang#and then i'll be like Ok that was fun! and several months later im deleting like. 2gb of textbooks off my iphone to make room for an update#And sometimes yeah there is a precipitating event like 'Oh something new happened in X fandom with my blorbo!' but sometimes it's like#yeah. no. idk either. switch got flipped in my brain and X no longer sparks joy. only Y rn. how come it's Y? yeah idk i also wish i knew#i don't think any of this is actually an uncommon experience for people with these types of neurodivergencies it's just.#the severity of abruptness and TOTALITY of the switch that makes me feel like a weirdo sometimes lol#like I'M getting mental whiplash from this sometimes. idk how y'all are still following my blog
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sometimes i randomly remember how insane maggie stiefvater was for making ronan lynch—a man that can create reality—a man of god, when he himself is a god of a man. then to take this man and have him be not only in love with, but a literal soulmate of a man named adam. parrish. adam parrish. who, mind you, lives above ronan's very own place of worship. and is the namesake of the first of mankind that the bible says god made from the literal dust of the ground (adam parrish: comes from nothing, hair "dusty" in color) and appoints him to care for the garden of eden (adam parrish: sacrifices himself to ronan's sentient forest). then has adam viewing ronan as a god and ronan saying "maybe he dreamt (created)" adam???? like who just fucking writes that and goes about their life?
#if i think about them too long i start going actually insane#maggie pay for my therapy bills please#me and my ignored religious trauma are literally have never been able to handle it#the raven cycle#pynch#ronan lynch#adam parrish#and the fact that i read the series pretty soon after i realized that pretending i believed in god was doing more harm than good and left#i was still a kid and had very bad undiagnosed ocd that made my implusive thoughts surrounding hell and eternal damnation and the end days#and it terrified me so much as a queer trans kid to realize i didnt believe but still had thoughts of that in my head and then to read this#series like a year or 2 later was brain altering for me#anyways where was i going with this#ahahahha#im having a moment#adam's last name is pretty self explanatory too like....miss girl
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trying to get better with colors!
another fanart of @forgettable-au !
#the pinkinsh version is the one i drew after i spent hours overthinking over details#and the other is when i realized that i didn't need to overthink things and the previous version was fine too XD#guys help this au lives rent free in my brain aiuhnergkijuhrgikju#now papyrus is my favorite character and i fully credit this au for making me deep dive into trying to understand papyrus' character#the outfit is from one of the au's concept art!! i love it SO MUCH dude!!!#i had to draw it at least once#undertale#undertale au#papyrus#flowey#myart
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[right to left]
STILL thinking about drunk chess actually
stupid as hell bonus:
#mcu#marvel cinematic universe#xmen#xmen movies#xmen first class#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#snap sketches#i have. an exam in three hours :} <-#anyway remind me never to color a comic again THIS WAS JUST SUPPOSED TO BE QUICK AND SILLY#i havent drawn And Colored a comic in literal months please forgive me#the only thing quick and silly was the bonus doodle vjaelkeajeklj i swear it totally slipped my mind to have the pieces somewhere#too caught up in . The Above#anyway. never doing this again !!!!!#why does chess have to be their thing im tired of drawing chess. ive drawn so much chess in my life#AND IM GOING TO DO IT AGAIN WHEN I GET THE CHACNE I HAVE ANOTHER DUMB POST OF MINE TO DRAW#im not checking this for any mistakes or whatever idc im posting this as is and thatll be that#for now. good morning JVERLKJEAKLJ im gonna sleep for an hour then prepare my brain#1k notes ill draw em snoggin nasty style or whatever
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to any nonbinary people reading this, never forget:
you can collect SOUL by striking enemies. once enough SOUL is collected, you can hold B to focus SOUL and regain health.
#ghost town... 2!#hollow knight#idk my brain hurts lmao. too much beat saber. sorry if someone's already made this joke lol it happens
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the infamous 'last sighting of a barbary lion in the wild' photo taken by marcelin flandrin (1925) haunts me to my core. there's something so achingly poetic about it.
#this is so random for me but i saw this the other night and it genuinley hasnt left my brain#there's a lot of debate around this subspecies and whether they are#extinct or w/e#hence my wording BUT#this photo and that kinda ....... 'last one in the wild' fact has sTUCK with me#so small. in the space. so alone. walking away. leaving their prints behind.#it honestly nearly moves me to tears if i think about it too much#straight up put this in my drafts last night and now it makes me TOO emotional
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Once I was listening to a podcast and one of the hosts was like “the key to confidence isn’t never making mistakes and knowing everything, but making mistakes and being totally okay w the fact because everyone makes mistakes and it’s not a statement about your worth” and oh my god okay. My trauma bond w shame is dying a slow death.
#I feel like until my prefrontal cortex is developed I’ll just be prone to freaking out#So I’ll artificially stimulate whatever 30 something year old brains effuse naturally by meditating#And continuing the hunt for a therapist who is much older than me 🩷#My current therapist is cute I think I just need older ppl to dissect my ill diseased mind too
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meteorologists report sky just a little bluer today, and it's because skyloft residents link and zelda are in love :)
also on inprnt :]
#zelink#link#zelda#skyward sword#loz#loz fanart#ss link#ss zelda#hi. we're still normal here#this is 'Officially' a practice doodle bcus i wanna do a bigger piece for them on valentines day#but i wanted to make it look nice too . for however much my brain would let me bcus i kept getting distracted while drawing#i dont think these two outpace botw/totk zelink for me but they Do come very close... they are like comfort food zink#same as spirit tracks i guess but ss is a fun game in comparison. im sorry.#anyways. gay people!#my art
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You have 90 minutes to complete. (original poem: r.a.)
In participation of the MCYT Recursive Exchange 2024 hosted by @mcytrecursive!
Inspired by know that all my love will be your breath (i will save you when your lights go out)
[text under cut]
1. Have you ever been in love? (Please circle your answer.) a. It's me and him b. Our hearts beat in sync c. Our lives intertwined
2. Do you understand what you’ve done? (Please circle your answer.) a. I couldn't do anything b. I lost my balance c. I doomed us both
3. It's been god knows how long since you felt phantom hands on your neck and there is no one in sight. If you were soul-bound to him and both of you died at the same time then why are you still waiting in the void? Please answer clearly, in full sentences. (Not a correct answer:I just wanted to see him one more time).
4. Define two (2): Fate | The feeling of his forehead against yours Curse | The moment you realise he isn't linked to you anymore
5. True or False: i. It was your fault. ii. You wish you had met him under different circumstances. iii. You can’t regret a single moment that you had him. iv. You would do it all over again if you could. v. It ended long before either of you said anything.
thumbnails:
sketch cover thing for imgur link:
#team ranchers#team rancher#rancher duo#jimmy solidarity#tangotek#trafficshipping#mcyt recursive exchange#events#fic fanart#my art#“canary has butterfly-shaped wings it cant do a dramatic spread like that” watch me. (draws dramatic wings) (sorry)#“you have 90 minutes” have been rattling in my brain for so long ever since i suddenly remembering a web weave using it (yes the beeduo one#very glad i can release it (using it in art) from its confines (my mind)#hm i suppose the title would be more in theme if its abt limited life ranchers#← havnt watched limlife yet#but! happy with what i come up with. lil bit proud even#had so much trouble with the panelling and layers in p2 cause it looks too busy (explodes)#also punching the floor bc i only noticed the “yes-no” pair(?) in the original poem when im already half-done w/ the comic#me when making silly comic makes you do poem analysis#i dont even go there ← does not have enough poetic braincells
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barry keoghan u lil freak i love u so much
#saltburn#barry keoghan#jacob elordi#oliver quick#felix catton#saltburn is ultimately a fucked up lil story about obsession and i love it so so much#the fact that barry improved the grave scene too just rubs my brain the right way#cause as i was sitting there i was like wow i hope he fucks the freshly turned soil#and he did#!!!#insane
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[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]
Hitting a lil' too close to home?
#junie art post#ink sans#error sans#utmv#errorink#implied. but yea not the focus#this has been turning around in my mind for quite some time. im glad to finish it lmao idk if my ramblings make sense even.#so like listen. do you ever think about how similar the function of the utmv is to the dark worlds in deltarune.#in a meta narrative to fandom sense? idk the word#we are making exaggerated expanded worlds of the ordinary tools and entertainment of the real world and make it into something more#isnt that very very interesting?#and we explore every sort of possibility in that creation. both good and bad#and when all is said and done. every possibility found and the entertainment and secrets has all run out#we put it away. abandon and leave it behind#what is left? what happens to the world and characters we have created? can it sustain without us?#what of the ones left in the dark?#idk if yall saw me a few months ago but i reblogged comyet's old post of ink begging us not to leave him alone and to keep creating#yea that never left me#and seeing exactly THAT SCENARIO in deltarune made my brain iTCH#imagine an ink in King's position.... wait isnt that just underverse#mmmmmmm. darkner ink.....#also error is here too. not just for errorink or that i can't separate these two to save my life#but error is also one of the few people to be able to GET IT?? he can hear the creators too. ink cant#but hes pretty much programmed himself to avoid having a mental break down to this via reboot memory loss.#and ink has his own internal coping mechanism (hooray for short term memory loss)#these two idiots will do anything but confront truths lmfao#ahhh my favorite idiots. never change#mmmmm#deltarune
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Loop experiences Insomnia
Yeah, Loop’s first night doesn’t go as planned. They lose consciousness for like, max 30 minutes overall. So they’re not doing great in the morning! And whoops, their filter is slipping a bit!
This very tired Loop is NOT CONVINCED that it’s just insomnia and panic attacks and is scared it might actually stick at some point! (It IS just insomnia and panic attacks)
Nille sees that and uses her tried and true strategy with the erratic stranger: treat that fella like a sad toddler! Reassure them! Give them a simple and repetitive task to complete when they insist on helping you that day! Get them to pass out in minutes!
Also you might wonder why Nille even bothers with Loop. Like. Why would she even get them in her house during these first days? She doesn’t know them, and people in the village might be better suited for the job!
Well you see, Nille is in dire need of a distraction! If she’s left alone with her thoughts, she starts thinking about Bonnie and how she doesn’t know where they are and how her best bet is to stay there in hopes they come back. And if she has to think about that for more than three seconds, she immediately combusts! So all in all, a high maintenance washed up stranger that panics at everything is the perfect excuse for her to Not Think About It.
#isat#isat spoilers#in stars and time#in stars and time spoilers#isat two hats#isat loop#isat petronille#isat nille#isat fanart#washed up loop au#isat au#my art#post subject to become non canon on the basis that i spent way too much time on it and now lowkey want to delete it#but also its 1h30 in the morning so my brain might be a little mean to me rn#well see tomorrow!#edit: night passed i like the concept again the post is safe hfjdjbfjd
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the thing that pisses me off about the minecraft movie is how boring it is (or will be). people have consistently proven that complex stories and ideas can be conveyed through minecraft, with it not just acting as a backdrop- instead we get jumanji: block edition and it’s so annoying. minecraft is a beautiful game that has brought so many people together, that influenced countless childhoods, and this is what we get? i’m pretty sure it’s going to be the same plot as fucking angry birds.
this movie is taking all the momentum that countless creatives have provided to minecraft for 15 years and acknowledging NONE of it. you can have your opinions of mcyters but at least they have the guts to tell a story.
fuck, maybe my expectations were too high- but it’s hard to not expect more when we consistently got more from way weirder sources. things like stampys lovely world, the fallen kingdom saga, dantdms lab, hermitcraft, the dsmp and qsmp, genuinely every minecraft let’s play has SOME form of story- it’s just disappointing to see mojang fail to create a better story when they’ve had so many examples.
the world has MUCH bigger problems right now, but it’s still upsetting- i was born right in time to grow up with minecraft. and while im not surprised, i am disappointed.
#shelby says#minecraft#mcytblr#listen i am ANNOYED#and the world has so much more important stuff to care about#but this has been rattling around in my brain for too long to not have thoughts#minecraft movie
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When I’m too tired I scribble more casual faves.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#my art#the holiday period is absolutely blasting me#too much socialising and my brain can’t keep up#exhausted af#head is still full of blorbo tho#rotating the faves nonstop in there#how’s it almost the new year already omg#lots of things to get down before then let’s hope I can do it hahah#Emmy gimme strength#he’s such a cutie I’m still shooketh with how much I’ve drawn him
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