#lots of things to get down before then let’s hope I can do it hahah

[timethehobo]

When I’m too tired I scribble more casual faves.

[scarletwinterxx]

Can you a idol jaehyun x non idol reader where reader gets jealous of jaehyun 's interaction with a idol so jaehyun tries to comfort her

a/n: hellooooo sorry this took awhile but i hope you like it! i don't play about when it comes to bf jaehyun fics HAHAH he's soooo boyfriend coded🥺🥺😭

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

and if you want, u can buy me coffee(totally optional but any donation is very much appreciated!) thank you🥺💛

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2024 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

The first thing Jaehyun noticed after rehearsal was the lack of message from you. Usually you'd text him after your day at work, something as simple as "on my way home" makes him smile. It's the thought that even though the two of you are apart, he's still a part of your day whenever you take your time to update him.

Your lives are the complete opposite. You live a very mundane life, probable the thing that makes your life so different is the fact that you're dating an idol. That idol being Jeong Jaehyun. THE Jeong Jaehyun.

Your love story started out way before his fame. It's funny to think that this man who looks like he was carved by the Gods and can only exists in your favorite fictional book happen to harbor a secret crush on you during your school days. It took a lot of time and courage for Jaehyun to approach you and confess his feelings but he's glad he did.

Now years later he's still in love with the same woman he fell in love with all those years ago.

If Jaehyun gives 110% to his idol career, he gives his 200% to you. You are the very reason he keeps going, the inspiration behind his craft.

And you, well safe to say you're his number 2 fan. You say that because you know his mom is the number one, and probably the only one you're willing to yield that position to.

Dating an idol of course you know all the precautions. The two of you never go out on broad daylight together, your dates mainly happen after a very long day at work. Or indoors. You love to cook, you love it even more when you're cooking with him.

Today was a particularly long day for Jaehyun, he had a fansign event then had a few hours of recording then rehearsals. He just wanted to go home to you.

Finally a little after midnight they called it a day, bidding a quick goodbye to his members before going to the car. All of them know about your relationship, even his managers and the company. You are Jaehyun's 'non-negotiable' as Jungwoo would tease the both of you.

He will always do his best at being an idol, he loves this job. But if he's being honest, he loves you more.

When he got to your apartment, the another thing he noticed was all the lights were off. Usually you'd be in the living room or in the kitchen. But then again it's past midnight so you're probably already sleeping.

He puts his bag down by the door before going to the kitchen to get some water before making his way to the bedroom. A light from the room across catches his attention though, the door slightly opened making his curiosity peak.

Jaehyun was surprised to see you still awake, sporting a very tired look. But in his eyes, you look beautiful.

"Hey, why are you still awake?" he asks, pushing the door wider catching your attention

It looked like you weren't expecting him to be here tonight, "Just working on something"

"Busy day at work? You didn't text me today" he tells you, still standing by the door way.

You rub the sleep off of your eyes, you are tired and it's been a very very long day. You're so stressed at work but the cherry on top was a picture you saw online.

Now most of the time you wouldn't let a silly tweet ruin your day. You're dating Jaehyun, you had to get used to the dating rumors and miliions of girls and guy simping over your boyfriend. All of that is background noise to you.

But some days it's a bit harder to ignore. Like today.

You saw a polaroid picture of him with a fan, it was from a fansign event. It looked cute and yes it did annoy you.

That annoyance brewed over the hours and now you're in a sour mood. You didn't even remember to text him when you went home today.

You're not sure who you're mad at, Jaehyun? for being so boyfriend material. The company? for making them do events like this or the fan? who just wanted to express their love for their idol.

Maybe you're annoyed at yourself for feeling this way.

At this rate you're at war with yourself.

"Love, you okay?" Jaehyun whispers, sauntering over to you. He cups your cheek in his hand, caressing your face so gently like he's afraid you might break right in front of him

"Just a long day"

"Talk to me, you know I'll listen"

He searches your eyes for answer, trying to figure out his favorite puzzle that is you. Even though it's been years since the two of you started dating, he loves learning more about you. What makes you laugh, what makes you cry, what makes you smile, what's your favorite food or color or time of the day.

You look straight into his eyes, searching also for something you will never find there. Indifference. All you can see is adoration and love and care that this man has for you.

Now you feel mad at yourself for doubting him for even a second.

"Now you're pouting. Talk to me, babygirl" he chuckles

"I just... There's this picture I saw online, of you and a fan. This polaroid event thing you got going on" you start to explain and immediately he smiles.

Now he knows why you're in a sour mood, it's adorable whenever you get jealous really because to Jaehyun even though he can have an arena, a stadium even, full of women screaming his name, he only ever want you.

"I don't know. It's stupid but it annoyed me and now my day's even worse-"

He cuts you off by leaning down to put his lips against your, effectively shushing you. It's a smart way, his favorite way, to cut your cute rants.

Jaehyun kisses you like he's telling you vows, but without words and only his lips and tongue. He kisses you like he's saying all the things you wanted to hear, assuring you, washing all your worries away. He kisses you until you're short of breath and a blushing mess.

When the two of you separate, he kisses you on both cheeks then the tip of your nose then on your forehead before he pulls you up from your seat.

"They can have the polariod pictures, you got the premium here" he tells you with a cheeky smile

"Oh yea, what's that?"

"Well to tell you Miss, you just won your self cuddles for tonight and the rest of your nights. And you got me, forever" he smiles, pulling you in his arms

"Sounds like jackpot to me"

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Life Finds a Way

Pppst @spotaus you ready? :3

For those people who noticed. Spotaus and I have been talking some lore. And I wanted to write a little thing about it! (also i am noticing that all my gifted drabbles to Spotaus about this AU is about Ccino? woops? I will probably eventually do other charactes hahah)

For now? I hope you like this Spotaus :D No beta or edits :D

Warnings: Child abuse, mentally and emotionally. implied harrassment but nothing actually happens. Forced child labor. Very unhealthy eating habits and forced dangerous dieting. fat-shaming. suicidal thoughts (not a lot and not too specific but it is there). Gaslighting and manipulation. (reminder for everyone. Ccino is SEVEN in this.)

Please let me know if you spot anything else i need to warn people about okay? But i think i got it all.

*--------------------------------------*

Sera turns to him and looks unimpressed "well? Hold the three trays."

Ccino looks nervously at the very large plates filled with cups. All wooden now but they are heavy. Ccino carefully picks one up and can't quite balance it in one hand. Much less hold it with one arm. The plate wiht cups falls to the ground wiht a loud clatter and he flinches at the sound.

Sera sighs loudly as she shakes her head "another disappointment. I keep telling you you only have this week to learn. yet you seem set on not learning at all!" she snaps.

Ccino looks down and mutters "I... i am trying... i am sorry. i just..." he is still so sad... he has been here a week now and just wants to roll up a cry. but everyone keeps telling him he only has a week to practise and then he needs to work with everyone else.

He still doesn't understand the castle and where everything is. Much less every servant pathway.

The rules are confusing and sometime she doens't quite understand the accents people use or the words they say.

Sera glares and raises her hand. Ccino pulls his head back and closes his sockets.

Nothing happens. He sneaks a look and sees Nim staring Sera down.

Sera falls to her knees and bows deeply "My king. I apologise. The child is stupid and can't learn."

Nim just sighs as she rubs her forehead "I thought i was clear. He has a purpose. For this purpose he is required to learn and not have marks." she looks at Sera before turning her attention to him and the mess on the ground.

Ccino looks down himself as he feels the tears return. Anytime he sees her all he can think about is the fire. all he can think about is his parents trying to reach him. the locked door. the fire. the screams. he had been able to smell it in the carriage and-

"I see you still make messes." the disapointment is so obvious.

Ccino tugs on the shirt he had been gifted. His clothes that his parents had given him had been taken as soon as he got there. After his forced bath. something about cleaning off the dirt from his old life. the grey uniform had been left instead.

Though Ccino can't help but notice that his clothes are slightly different from other servants. There are tiny motives of apples and branches around the edges and seams. tiny details. Ccino figured it was because of his status as trainee but... well.. why special outfits when he only is suposed to train for a week? why make all his stuff have those?

Nim sighs loudly and Ccino pushes the tears away as he holds his shirt tighter.

"I will remind you. I expect perfection. I don't have use for unworthy people." some movement "And i expect you to train him well. There is a lot counting on this.".

a moment of silence and the king is gone.

Sera gets off the ground and glares at him. Ccino shivers as he waits. Sera huffs "pick up the tray and the cups. set it up again and get it ready. You failing will also look poorly on me. Get. To. Work."

Ccino nods and kneels down to get the tray and start moving one heavy cup at the time back on top of it.

until he ends with three filled trays again. And he tries to carry all three of them. again.

It drops a few more times but he ends up managing to balance one on his arm. Even if it is really heavy and his arm starts to ache.

Sera nods "Good. Now hold the other two trays with both your hands."

Ccino stares at her. is... is she serious? how... how is he suposed to? That is so heavy! His arm is already shaking. Sera just stares at him and looks at the trays "Well?! You udnerstand that right?!"

Ccino nods and slowly takes one of the trays. it woobles as he transfers it to his arm already carrying the tray. it is so heavy.... he manages to grab the third one and has to concentrate on not dropping anything or letting it fall over.

Sera sighs "finally managed to get you to do this stupid trick. it isn't even that hard. Now. Walk to the other side of the room and put all three down on the other table. No. Dropping."

Ccino glances over. it is so far... He takes a shaking step and all the trays start to tilt and he has to stop and correct them all. He looks unsure at Sera but she just points at the table and taps her foot.

He misses his mom. His mom would hug him and tell him it was okay when he dropped something. that they would clean it up together and next time ccino had to test before trying to lift something.

He takes a few steps and has to stop again. the trays barely don't fall and his arms hurt. The trays are just so heavy. Sera lets out another annoyed sigh and Ccino takes another few steps.

It takes long but he manages to make it to the other side. he puts the trays down and looks back.

Sera sighs as she shakes his head "You are much too slow and clumsy. you will never make it anywhere fast enough even if you use the tunnels. this is such a waste of time and you are clearly not the right pick. But. the king thinks you are the right pick! So we will just have to waste a lot of time on you." she glances at him and looks annoyed "and stop your annoying crying. you are acting like a child! You are gettnig the honour of working under the greatest king to have ever lived and work towards a glorious future! And you are thankless!"

Ccino sobs and rubs his sockets. his arms ache. he is so tired. he just wants to be home and hug his dad. his dad always makes the hurt and scared feelings go away. his dad's hugs were magical like that. his dad would always tell him the magic behind his hugs was love and so they worked best for ccino and ccino's mom because dad loved them both so much. Ccino wants him back.

Sera sighs "okay. once again. How do you get from the kitchen to the warroom?"

Ccino stares at the ground and mutters "i.. euh... i would."

Sera groans "speak up! If someone asks you to speak you speak up and proudly. No stammering. We have more important things to do than wait for you to figure out how to say a basic sentence."

Ccino flinches and nods as he tugs on his shirt. "To... get to teh warroom... f-from the kitchen.. you need to exit and go by the servant rooms. then past the storage. you get to the hall... then go up and up. then the..." was it east or west?! "west wing... then up again. and there should be a... red door. there is the warroom..." right?

Sera sighs loudly "we don't call it the servant rooms. we call it the servant quarters. Aside from that we don't call it going up and up. We call it going to the second floor." she shakes her head.

Ccino looks down and feels frustrated. but he was right! The directions were right! What does it matter what he calls things. some words are hard to say and he never used them before! it is just to know his way around right? why does it matter what he calls things in his head?

Sera walks towards the door "come. we will go to the kitchen so you can practise cooking again." she looks abck annoyed "and don't burn yourself again. YOu are suposed to be markless. perfect. act like it." and she leaves.

Ccino follows after the other. He wishes he was in bed and could just sleep.

they get to the kitchen and Sera looks at him "We will try an easy recipe because you are just useless. Start with a fritatta. Even you should be able to make that." and she waits.

Ccino stares at her. what is a fritatta? He glances around but there are no ingredients out already and there is no paper with the recipe on it. what... what?

Sera looks annoyed "it was in the book you were given to study at night."

Ccino looks down. When he got here and dropped off in his room after the forced bath there were a bunch of books. like ten and tehy were thick. all about manners and chores and how to act and who was who. He... he thinks there may have been a cooking book somewhere in there?

Ccino speaks up "i can... get it?" maybe then he can cook this weird fritatta thing?

Sera sighs loudly "and be fast."

Ccino rushes out of the kitchen and back to the servant quarters before running past the door leading there. He still isn't sure why he has a private room but at least this way people don't hear him cry at night. He gets there and searches between the books. eventually finding an old book and-

Why... why can't he read this?! It is all another language?! He opens it and looks for anything he can read but it is all just... weird! how... how can he? how is he suposed to read this?!

He still picks up the book and brings it to the kitchen. Sera looks at him expectingly "Well?"

Ccino looks down "i can't read this..."

Sera sighs loudly "Of course you can't do soemthign as basic as reading. you are an uncultered idiot. Honestly what did you do before? just play in the mud?"

Ccino feels close to tears as he remembers helpign his mother in the store with counting out change and helping refilling shelves. Helping her do the dishes as she teaches him how to make bread and deserts. "i can read... i just can't read this... this language..."

Sera frowns "You don't know french?! how can you be seven already and not even know french as well?! honestly the education is going downwards so quickly." she sighs and shakes her head "i supose i will just have to assist you again and get you a translated version. very well. For the meal you are about to make you will need the following. and pay attention because i don't like repeating myself."

Ccino rushes over as he tries to get the ingredients as quickly as possible. He just hopes he doesn't burn himself on the pan this time.

----

Ccino pants as he leans against the wall. He thought the first week was hard. It was much harder now. He kept getting orders that he needed to complete. bringing things around. helping making things. serving things to people.

It is all so hard and everyone just stares at him disappointed all the time. He wants to cry.

but crying isn't allowed. they were clear on that. if he cries he will just be locked in a dark room.

Something about them not being allowed to punish him the normal way. so they have to be creative. He doesn't like the dark closet. It is dark and always cold and he is so alone. No one talks to him when he is in there. he doens't hear anyone when he is in there.

He doens't even know what he does to get locked up in there. They never say what he does wrong. They just say he deserved it... is... is he a bad kid? is he being bad? mom and dad always siad he was good and they loved him... how come he is suddenly bad? he is trying. he is really trying!

He just wants to sleep and cry. but he is still in his shift and needs to work...

He gets to the kitchen as his arms ache. the cook looks up and waits. Ccino finds his voice and manages to not make it clear he is close to crying again "i delivered the food."

the cook, he never introduced himself, huffs "you better not have messed up my presentation again!" and he turns abck to the stove.

Ccino nods nad walks over to the chores board. it is magical... probably. ccino doesn't know how it works. just knows it shows what he needs to do. soemthing about the ehad of the house deciding who does what and when. He looks for his name at the very bottom and stares in shock. There is a demand for him to go to the throne room!! For a long time now!! Why did no one tell him?!

He rushes out of the kitchen and dives into the hallway to the servant quarters. he stops between the doors to the washing chambers and the dressing room and opens a panel to show a pathway. it is one of the many servant corridors that linger the castle. it makes it easier to get to places quickly. this one should lead towards the big entrance near the throne room.

He runs down the path. jumping over spare uniforms and discarded items and tools as he rushes.

He checks to make sure no one is watching before fully exiting. he rushes to the throne room and takes the servant entrance to it.

No one is there. Aside from Nim on her throne. She is drinking out of a fancy wine glass with wine that is probably more expensive than anything Ccino used to own put together. He glances around but sees no one else... euh....

Ccino doesn't remember a specific message about why he needed to be there. just that he needed to go there...

Ccino walks into the area and bows deeply "my king." even the title leaves a bad taste in his mouth. He hates the king. he HATES her with every spec of his being. but he can't do anything.

Nim hums as she looksup from the wine "you are slow. but you are a child and only have short legs. I expect you to get better with time. If i don't see improvements I will have to look for your replacement."

Ccino nods before answering "of course my king." please let him leave. please let that have been it. please-

Nim stnads up "but. I called you here for a reason. Follow me." and she turns before walking towards the exit.

Ccino wants to cry. he doesn't want to be near her! He doesn't want to follow her!

He follows her.

People stop and bow at Nim before shooting him glances. As they walk past Ccino can hear them start muttering things. something about it becomign official.

What... what is becomign official?

Nim leads him towards a whole otehr wing and up a set off stairs. very deep into the castle. Ccino hasn't been here before. just saw the pathways on the map he was given when he first got here two months ago. one he was told to memorise.

They stop by a door and Nim opens the door.

It is a child's room?

Nim walks over and Ccino sees two cribs. One with a very detailed moon and one with a very detailed sun. There are healers in the room who are keeping a close eye on the two babies and some maids filter about. nurse maids?

Nim walks over to the crib with the sun and picks up one of the babies- that is a skeleton. a baby skeleton?

Nim waves him over nad Ccino follows the wordless comment.

Nim starts to speak "This. Is Dream. He is my heir and will become your king in thirdteen years." she kisses his little skull before pointing towards the other crib "That. is Nightmare. He will be Dream's...." she smirks "He will help Dream rise to his rightful position of king."

Ccino looks at the two babies before back at Nim. Not sure what she wants from him.

Nim doens't take issue with him being quiet as she just keeps talking "your purpose and main job. is to do whatever it takes to get both of them to the right age of thirdteen. Their schooling and training will be arranged by others. But you will be their main caretaker. You will feed them. bath them. Make sure they are rested. You will be there for whatever they need." she looks at him. "understood?"

Ccino isn't sure how good he is at taking care of babies?! It does explain the child book that was in the pile. He nods and bows "of course my king."

Nim nods and turns back to look... almost lovingl at Dream "When they time comes. when Dream becomes king. You will be his."

Ccino freezes. What?

Nim continues to speak "You will do whatever he wishes. YOu will be his first mate and by whatever he wants."

Ccino feels his throat locks up before he wheezes out "But! He will be thirdteen my king! I would be twenty!" that is weird. that is gross. and is disgusting?!

Nim chuckles and looks amused "There will be ritual. Which will make it able for dream to go from a weak child to who he was always meant to be. a powerful being rivalling the very gods." she kisses the little skull of the sleeping baby. She grins at him "I myself went from age fourteen to twenty four in one moment. body, mind and soul all immediantly to that stage. Not a single lingering emotion of feeling from childhood. The ability to leave childhood behind with just one single ritual. It is wonderful."

Ccino disagrees. He doesn't want to marry Dream?! Dream is a baby? One he is suposed to raise? It would be weird! It would be like him marrying his old babysitter? and she was nice but she was also really different?

Nim puts Dream back in the crib "You will be allowed entrance and the maids will continue to feed both the twins. Your focus will be on Dream. Dream needs the most attention and care. But make sure Nightmare is healthy." she leaves him frozen in place "You are dismissed."

Ccino stands there as he watcehs the healers and nurse maids go about their work. After they finish they leave the twins in their cribs and leave.

Ccino shakes as he looks at the two children. the two baby skeletons. One, nightmare, yawns and opens the sockets. He looks at him curiously before babbling and holding out a tiny hand to him. him being awake seems to wake Dream as well as the other twin does the exact same thing as Nightmare.

Twins.

Ccino holds out both his hands and lets the two tiny babies hold his fingers. watching the two babble and tug on his hands happily as he feels his world falling apart even further.

----

One of the few things he kinda likes here is the food. It is always delicious and rich of everything.

Even the servants eat well!

Ccino sits in his seat as food is served.

One of the few things he kinda likes is having dinner with the other servants. Sure they all shoot him looks and mutter about favouritism but at these moments no one really seems to care!

They hand out food. talk about some light gossip. Talk about which nobelman or woman and shooting them considering looks.

Ccino likes it. it almost feels less like a prison like this. And he feels abit more connected with the others.

His private room is nice but well... it shows how much he is singled out. How he has a different main job than the other people. How from the start his job was different.

Everyone knows it.

It is what the apples stand for apparently.

That you are owned by the king. or future king in his case.

He heard some coucil people talk about how much of a shame it was that he was offlimits.

Which Ccino really doens't want to think about.

But! the food!

He feels his magic yearn for the deliciousness. It looks like some slowly cooked meat with a lot of potatoes and vegetables!

Oh it is going to be so good and he will sleep well tonight!

A plate is set down before him and he grabs his fork and knife. Waiting until everyone is served and-

His plates gets taken away!?

He looks around with a glare but it melts away as he spots Nim! He looks down immediantly "my king?"

Everyone is quiet and waits.

Nim looks at the meal with a huff before pulling him upright. Ccino stands before the king and waits.

Nim huffs and she pokes his stomach "You really going to eat even more? When you already have fat building?"

Ccino is confused. Skeletons don't get fat? It is just how magic is stored? Ccino knows he has the same way of magical storage as his mom has... had. She was short and a bit wider than most monsters. But his dad always said she was the most beautiful monster so obviously she was? and dad always said he knew that ccino would be like her and ccino had been excited? because he would be pretty like his mom?

Nim shakes her head "a glutton. That is a habit we will need to cut off right away."

Ccino looks unsure at the plate that she just. throws out. wait?! But his dinner?!

Nim nods to herself as she looks at him "Your eating habits will be monitored. You are still growing and so it is most important you have the correct diet." And she leaves.

What... what just happened? where is his dinner... He looks confused at the others but no one is looking at him. They eat as if there is nothing strange going on and his dinner wasn't just thrown away.

He moves to get a bit of the leftovers. They are always allowed to grab those. But as he moves to get a few of the leftover potatoes a hand pulls him away from the food.

Ccino looks confused up at Sera "but... I didn't get food? I didn't get dinner?"

Sera looks unamused "Oh you can't be that much of an idiot. The king wants you thin. thin and pretty. Not fat and ugly. So you are going on a very special diet. You will know what you are allowed to eat." she points to the door.

Ccino looks wishfully at the wodnerful meal before hanging his skull and moving out of the room. He walks back to his own room and opens the door.

Hope blossoms as he sees a plate and he rushes over. Only for his smile to fall.

It is... some cauliflower, zuccini and eggs.

It isn't bad? It is okay he thinks? He takes his seat and eats his food. It fills okay but he still feels like it was a small portion... But... they seem convinced this is right for him... had he really just been eating a lot? Had he really been a glutton as Nim said he was.

Still he doens't feel that full but it has been a long day and he really jsut wants to sleep.

He lays the plate to the side to clean up before breakfast and gets ready for bed. He lays in his bed and closes his sockets. He will need to be up at 5 am again. Eat his breakfast and check the twins to help build a bond... then he has chores and rushing from place to place again and more time with the twins...

He... He isn't sure what to do... he isn't sure if he can do this... He just wants to go back home...

He wishes he had been with his parents inside the house.

----

He is tired.

He just wants to sleep.

It has been half a year now.

He doens't feel any less sad.

He is so hungry.

Ccino is only allowed one meal a day. in the morning. nothing else aside from water.

It always feels too small and ccino is convinced the portions are getting smaller. Is that really all he needs? It doesn't feel like enough... but aparently he doens't know.

Everyone tells him he doesn't know anything. That he is dumb.

Maybe they are right.

He just wants to cry.

He doesn't want to go back to his room. nobelmen have been hanging around the servants area and they always look at him in ways that make Ccino feel gross.

But he can't just sit here. He is near the warroom. Hiding. People don't usually come here unless they have to get to this room.

Ccino already spend his morning with the twins. He figures he should ahte them but they always look happy to see him and babble and they let him hug them.

He hasn't had a hug since he was taken.

He needs those hugs. Even if the twins don't know how much it means for him.

Ccino sighs as he remains in his little corner. at the moment not caring his shirt will most likely get dirty and messy by doing this. He just doesn't want to be anywhere near the visiting nobelmen and those hands that reach and touch.

He just wants to be left alone. He used to hate being alone but now being alone is better than having others near. Everyone is always mean.

Even if he is fat and stupid he doesn't want others to be mean. He is trying his best. he really is. He knows he isn't enough. He knows he needs to do better. but it is hard! He is trying to learn. He just.

He sniffs.

ccino rubs his sockets nad mutters "no... don't cry... they will hear you and be mad..."

He feels sick. he feels tired. he hasn't felt his magic in a while and he can't even see in the dark anymore. something that every skeleton should be able to do with magic. but he can't.

Again shows he is just not good enough.

a movement in the corner of his sight and he freezes. He sneaks a look and stares.

a... cat?

what is c at doing inside?

A beautiful big cat... one of those very wild cats that his dad used to talk about.. maine coons? Didn't those cats also hunt like... foxes or soemthing?

The cat turns the corner and Ccino rushes after it before speaking in a whisper "oh no kitty... you can't be inside..." Nim had once called all cats vernim and disgusting. something about cats not listening or something. Ccino needs to get the poor cat outside!

He turns the corner and looks around before seeing the cat near an armour set up as decoration.

Ccino inches closer and whispers "No please be careful. those things tend to fall over..." he had been locked in the dark room for hours on end when he knocked one over an accident "lets get you outside okay?" he sniffs as he tries to remove some of his last tears.

The cat looks.. weird? almost shining and... wait... the tail doesn't look like a normal tial but more like... it has tiny branches? huh?

The cat disappears from sight and Ccino gets to the armour. He grins as he looks around it but it falls as he can't see the cat. He looks around and spots that one of the tiles on the wall seems out of place.

Huh... he never noticed that before... He nudges the tile and a part of the wall opens.

It is a crawl space and he barely fits. Maybe the cat went in here?

He mutters softly "here kitty kitty. it is okay... i won't hurt you... i am just trying to get you outside so you aren't hurt by any of the guards." he can't see anything in here but... well.. it is warm and it seems clean.

The door had closed and while inside he can hear others move about their day in the castle.

It is like one of the servant tunnels but not as crowded as the others... Not to forget it isn't filled with dust and dirt and instead very clean and warm. No draft or anything.

Ccino yawns as he rolls up in the tunnel. He had been wanting to sleep after all... maybe a quick nap... that is all.

Something wakes him and Ccino looks around confused.

Is he in the dark room? but it doesn't feel the same... it feels cozy and warm. Like when he would wake up in a tiny blanket fort in the middle of the night.

More sounds and movement of armour and Ccino frowns. armour? moving? guards? was there something about-

The guarding ceremony!! That was in the afternoon and he was suposed to be there! Oh no that is all the way in the hall and it is a nightmare to get there!

He qucikly crawls forwards. Maybe if he gets out he can take another servant path down towards the kitchen and rush to the hall? that is probably the fastest way and- AH!

He suddenly slides down as the tunnel dips. He ends up sliding to a stop right before anotehr tiny door. He pusehs it aside nad steps out from... under the stairs in the main hall?

Huh?

The door slides shut behind him and Ccino looks back confused. How did that tunnel lead... the way he had entered hadn't even pointed in the right direction right? but the tunnel didn't curve like that and-

"Ccino!" a loud hiss.

Ccino looks over and sees someone else motion their head for him to join them. It is Robin!! They are awesome! Ccino rushes to their side and Robin quickly pats him down from any dirt before standing at attention again and handing him a plate for himself.

Ccino stands ready and waits. watching as more guards move into the hall.

He had been on time? somehow?

The guard ceremony goes on as some guards are officially made part of the team to guard the castle. Nim is there in person but just stare at them. With a wave she leaves while the guards all mutter about it being a big honour.

Ccino rushes to join the other servants in bringing around food and snacks for them to eat.

His magic and nonexisting stomach knot together at the sight of food but he ignores it. He is used to these feelings by now.

By the time they get to the end he makes a quick escape to check on the twins again. He notices that they both seem to be bored and spends some extra time playing and hugging them.

Nightmare and Dream both lean against him and babble about their days. probably. Ccino has no idea he doesn't speak baby.

Ccino grins "really? and what did you do then?"

Dream is smiling happily as he throws out his tiny arms and babbles loudly.

Ccino nods "oh so true! You are so right for having done that. And what did your teddy bear do then?"

Dream wiggles from side to side and babbles and blows a raspberry.

Ccino gasps "Oh no he did not."

Dream coos and manages to stick his own foot in his mouth.

Ccino nods and hums "so true buddy. so true." he looks at Nightmare "What did you do little nighty? You stopped any traitorous teddy bear?"

As soon as Ccino speaks to Nightmare he coos and snuggles clsoer. Ccino grins and nuzzles the tiny skull "I see. You had a very busy day. I can only imagine."

He makes sure both the twins drink some of their bottles nad helps them burp gently. After which he puts them both in their cribs and tugs them in "there. all snuggly and ready for bed. You two be good okay?"

the babies are both already asleep.

Ccino hums a happy tune as he leaves the room.

He feels... good? Who knew a good nap would work so well!

He gets back to the servants area and checks his to do list. All clean! which means he can go back to his room and maybe study some of the books he got. try to memorise more and-

Robin stops him "where did you come from in the hall?"

Ccino frowns "one of the pathways? there was one that lead from near the warroom to there?"

Robin frowns "You mean the one that leads the to servants area? You wouldn't have exited in the hall. the hall only has two and none of them are near the stairs?"

huh... but he...

ccino frowns "I... I thought that..." he looks down. He had been so sure? sure it had felt weird but he was sure that was the pathway he took.

Robin's own frown lifts as they smile "hey. No worries. You are stressed and honestly they put way too much pressure on you... Even I can see that and I have only been here a few weeks now!" They grin "Get some rest..." they frown at him "You seem like you need it..." they walk away as they mutter to themselves about him looking pale.

Ccino frowns as he goes back to his room. He lays in his bed and thinks.

No he is SURE he got into that crawlspace... and it lead to the hall. He is very sure about that...

Robin is new... maybe they just haven't discovered all the paths yet?

Ccino lays in bed before having enough. He leaves it and sneaks around the castle. he knows he shouldn't be out this late but he needs to check.

He gets to the hall and goes straight to the stairs. It looks like a normal wall.

He searches for the usual marks that indicate a servant passage but doesn't find any... huh... weird but he... he came from here...

He sighs as he leans against the wall and yelps as it gives way immediantly. laying half in and hald out of the crawl space.

...

Why does he get the feeling he just found something he wasn't suposed to find?

----

After his first secret passageway he spend a lot of time trying other random walls in his free time. He was nearing his one year aniversary but he has found many at this point.

He has paths that lead anywhere he wants to be. Even the stables!

Which. very much impossible seeing as those are a seperate building.

Sure the tunnel he found goes down adn then up a bit before he exits into the storage area of the stables but that still seems like a stretch.

Who makes a secret tunnel underground to lead to the stables from near the library?

The point is. Ccino has a cheat sheet!

It means he can get anywhere impossibly fast with a smile on his face.

Which some found weird but mostly people just sighed and muttered about him finally being able to do the work he is suposed to. Nim looked satisfied and spoke about Nim having picked the right one after all.

Ccino even has one that seems to go up inside a pillar as he can just climb up vertically to get from the groundfloor all the way to the west wing fifth floor!!

That normally is a nightmare to get to within fifteen!

Ccino does have to remind himself to be careful.

Seeing as one time he tripped and almost fell inside one of those vertical tunnels.

Only for his hand to just happen upon something to grab on.

Ccino had just hang there. By a tiny stone ledge that seemed like a root. One he had been so sure hadn't been there before. BEcause he checks those tunnels to make sure he knows how to move.

So he sat there. in the dark. Having been saved from a nasty fall by.... by something.

Ccino had put his hands together in a prayer and whispered "to the one watching. to the one who helps. I thank you. I have nothign to gift but wish you well. For you are bringing a light to the darkness of my life. Thank you." and he had bowed. and stayed bowed for a minute.

He didn't have anyhting to offer as tribute. Fearing it would lead to mice or rats and that Nim would notice. But he could mutter small prayers.

Nothing official. He had no idea how one prayed to a god. The only reason he knew that that is what people do is because Nim demanded them all to pray to her before they ate. because she was their god.

Each time before his own dinner in the forced privacy of his own room he would pray for whatever power was helping him instead. Thank you.

Thank you for seeing he needed help and being willing to gift it.

Ccino knows it is something. Because the next time he used that tunnel more root like stones had appeared that mimicked railings for him to grab. these had also appeared in the other vertical climbing tunnels.

There was something magical in this castle.

And Ccino is very sure... it isn't conencted to Nim.

[celestie0]

If someone looked at me the way Gojo was looking at Y/N after ugly crying I think I’d be carrying their kids tbh…

Poor Y/N is so scared to let someone in she puts up wall after wall the moment things get a bit too real 😭 but I get her. Every meaningful relationship in her life has been “temporary” (for lack of a better word) so far: her father left them, Choso abandoned her the moment he wanted Yuna’s pussy (although he was gone way before that), and her mom can’t really be there for her anymore through no fault of her own. I get why she has walls up when it comes to Gojo, they entered the relationship knowing it wasn’t real so why set yourself up for the inevitable hurt when it’s over.

The guilt of lying to someone you love even though you know it’s probably for the best is so painful, I hope Y/N allows herself some grace. Mourning your parents so young, at any age really is never easy and she’s doing it all alone too. I hope she has the happiest of endings because I feel like she’s going to need all the support she can get as her mom’s illness progresses 😭

Y/N is so much stronger than me because I’d probably have taken him up on that sex to blow off steam option even if he wasn’t being serious (I feel like he’d be so down though) 🤷🏽‍♀️

I’m super excited to see how their relationship progresses. The emotional connection they’re developing is actually extending my lifespan.

Thank you so much for the chapter, this is genuinely one of the best works I’ve ever read so I sincerely thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your work with us 🥰 I hope you’re doing well and that life is treating you amazingly! Can’t wait for the next chapter, I know it’ll be fantastic

(P.S - his mom’s wedding ring fitting her perfectly had be kicking and blushing 😭 if that isn’t a sign they’re meant to be then IDK WHAT IS)

hi my love oh gosh i could CRY!!!!!!!!!! this ask made me so happy because you 100% hit on like literally every single point that i wanted to emphasize in the chapter and also even managed to predict things that are to come as well??? i ask for your hand in marriage pleaaasseeeee 💍💍

HAHA yes i liked writing the parts where she’s like basically just blowing her nose on him 😂

aaaaaaa yess she definitely has sm walls up bc of how many people have left her and/or betrayed her, i think an additional heartbreak is the fact that she is literally a night shift nurse who saves lives, but isn’t even helped by the very system that she serves (healthcare)…i would be so jaded if i were her too :”( but tysm for having empathy for her!! i think it would take a very patient person to be w her n i def think ihm gojo is that guy hahah

YES ihm will have a sweet ending and we will see as the series progresses that reader softens and starts to reclaim her life once more :) but you’re so right! one of the devastating things about caring for a loved one w dementia is weighing the white lies vs the potential distress over relaying the truth…having grace w oneself is def so important

LOL ya i think he would be so down too 😂 it’s funny cause like? reader? girl? i mean you’re already stressed tf out why not at least get eaten out on a regular basis while you’re at it LOL (the time will come)

ouuu i’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter n thanks so much for interacting so meaningfully w it 🥺 a lot of stuffs u touched on in this ask are elaborated much further in what i have planned for series so i’m so excited to bring that to you!! much loveee (and yes the wedding ring fitting was literally a sign from god LOL)

[buddiebeginz]

I hear what you’re saying and I love and appreciate the positivity but I’m just tired at this point. It feels like Fox all over again where its roads leading to buddie until the end of the season when it’s suddenly *storylines drive off in a random unsatisfying direction for Buck and Eddie and their LI’s* as the network goes hahah you silly shippers. You’re insane for thinking that was happening. We have no idea what you’re talking about or why you would even think that was a possibility. (But please stick around as we gaslight you into thinking it’s happening again next season before we do this all over at the end. 😜)

I understand why you'd feel that way and trust me I've been around for all of it and been burnt by the show time and time again so I get how you feel but I do believe this time is different. I think we're closer now to Buddie than we have ever been before.

If Buddie wasn't happening I truly believe Tim would have handled Buck's coming out in a way different way. He's not stupid and he knows how much people ship Buddie. Yet he made Buck's bi awakening ep all about Eddie. He's also had Buck and Eddie more connected than ever this season. There's also been very little of B/T and T*mmy. That's not the way you get an audience to become invested in a new ship. If Tim was really all about T*mmy and B/T we would have had more development with them yet they've barely had any real meaningful conversations

I also think that there would have been so much less press about Buddie. We've had more talk about Buddie by major press sites (ones that never talked about them before) like Rolling stone and People mag than we've ever had before. Tim and ABC (and the actors) could have made the decision early on this season to answer the Buddie question a couple of times to be firm and make sure people knew it wasn't in the plans. Yet not only have they not shut Buddie down but they continue to talk about it time and time again and the response is always basically that they want to take their time and do the story right. Also remember that questions are preapproved by the network and the actors team. If they didn't want to talk about Buddie they wouldn't be like in previous seasons when most of the time they didn't.

I get being scared to get your hopes up and of being let down again I'm scared about that too. More than anything I just really want to see Buck and Eddie finally be together. Not even just because I ship them but because I know how momentous and important it will be when that happens. I'm also tired of waiting for 911 to finally bring them together but I think we just have to be patient for a little longer because Tim and the rest of them only have one chance to get this right. I know a lot of us have been waiting years but considering they just moved to ABC and Tim just came back in a way it's like we're starting over again. But that's been a good thing I think for the characters and the show and everything feels like it's on a good track for Buddie to happen way more than we were after seasons 5 and 6.

Another thing is that the closer a will they/won't they ship gets to finally coming together shows will usually up the drama so we think it's not going to happen so then when it does it's more emotionally rewarding. So whatever is in store for Buddie right now even if they have a falling out (like some of the spoilers hint to) and even if B/T make things official going into s8 that doesn't meant Buddie is off the table. S7 did the most to let us know that Buck and Eddie know each other and get each other and are there for each other more than anyone else is for them and that relationship will always shine through above any other.

Try not to let the drama in fandom and whatever happens in the finale get you down. We can and always will be able to ship Buddie and celebrate that relationship regardless of whether or not they're canon. Message anytime. ❤️

[nightfall-1409]

Writer's Update

Hi everyone <3 sorry things are taking a bit of time, I'm going through An Ordeal and that has regrettably been the case of late. I don't like to publicly air too much, but it's led to some delays. Not dead, but, just some updates under the cut with some snippets <3

So I, As My Mother Before Me

Obviously my mother's day side story for sabine missed the deadline, I'll get that out ASAP (as soon as its done), and the teaser for it is that it covers Sabine's 'missing' time in the fic, and threading the needle wrt Ursa, Myles, and those sorts of background elements in the fic, as well as letting me, Nightfall, meditate on what exactly I want to have the connective tissue be for her background. It's probably for the best it got delayed so much, as it'll contain some spoilers for later content in (Re)Convene, depending on how long that takes me to catch up.

Snow makes the world quiet, still, and then she interrupts it. Sabine gasps as she feels it against her flight suit, cold, and sudden, and wakes in a horrible instance. There is snow and trees all around her, and the forest is quieter still.  She knows this forest, but it’s an impossibility. She stands, barely needing a moment to collect herself before she’s calling for, “Ahsoka!”  There is no one around.  She lowers her rangefinder, scans her surroundings, ignores her gut screaming at her that she knows this place. Hu-Yang or Ahsoka would chide her, tell her that she should at least make the attempt of meeting her surroundings, connecting with them.  But that is not her way, it is not the Mandalorian way, and in an emergency scenario where she didn’t know what was happening, she’d not out herself to their enemies.   She’s bringing Ezra home.  She’s not here.  This place isn’t real.  This place is gone, and they knew that it was being destroyed when she... Her rangefinder interrupts her thoughts, and tells her that she's on Krownest, and she bangs her hand down into the soft snow of her home again in a fist.

(Re)Convene Ch. 41 (Ezra) The Flash Of the Dark

hahah I do apologize for leaving you lot on that cliffhanger...im working through it :) In the meantime, the opener.

He finds that his teacher is in the library, and there’s an older woman next to him, grave and sad.  Quinlan’s expression too is serious.  Ezra responds by shelving any and all irritation about how many different places he’d looked in before finding the Shadow here.  “Ezra.  About time,” Quinlan jabs anyway, clearly intending to be playful and Ezra bites his tongue.  “This is Master Kostana.”  Quinlan introduces; and Ezra straightens further— this is who Obi-Wan had mentioned. “Master to Sifo-Diyas.  The council asked her to visit the Archives, to aid in the investigation of the Sith compulsion.” “Oh,” Ezra pauses, piecing together what all that means, before he softens his expression.  “Thank you for your aid, Master,” He bows his head forward slightly, and she waves one hand.  “I ought to thank you,” she says after a moment.  “For bringing his lightsaber home.” Woof.  Ezra can feel it at her side.  It is not a happy thing to know, though, and further… Ezra’s not exactly good at handling those sorts of conversations.  “Well, I wasn’t the one who…”

Other fics: Things are progressing, but perhaps not as quick as I'd like... on account of the fact I'm aiming for the clone bang sign ups at the end of June! No Spoilers yet! 😘 But I look forward to revealing it in good time. I hope to get it to the 10k mark by sign ups close on the 30th, I'm about halfway to that point rn.

[randomingoftherandomness]

Ouuu okay so, since the last few eps where we learn Yuanzhi poisons himself to see his body's reaction to the poison so he could make an antidote-- I'd love to read more about this if youre interested in writing it 🥹 Like gege hates that he does that but leaves him to his process, but also makes sure he doesn't pass out or die while working away/during late nights to make an antidote

"With a mouthful of blood Yuanzhi looks at gege and says 'I'm fine' but gege doesn't believe him" or something. I just can't believe he takes the poison to cure it aha and my mind is going crazy with ideas

The fact that I saw this ask after I posted this lol

Serendipity hahah... But for reals, samesies. The moment I saw that little tidbit being backed into canon I was like this gif

((because yes there is an spn gif for everything))

Trust me when I say that a lot of my upcoming fics will need very little handwaving to make sense :)))) So I hope you enjoy this one Nonnie. I hope I did it justice.

--

Shangjue can hear Yuanzhi coughing in the backroom. Wordlessly, he abandons his reports and stands to start pulling out the various little implements for quick brewing. Adding some dried loquot slices to the water, he lets it boil while he listens out on the coughing.

He hopes there's no blood this time but the bar is very low when it comes to Yuanzhi didi and his practice of deliberately poisoning himself for the purpose of research.

Once, very memorably, Shangjue had found Yuanzhi spitting out mouthfuls of blood into a bucket on the side. The idiot was sweating enough to drench his shirt, pale as the sheet of paper in front of him, but was dead set on writing down everything on shaky brushstrokes. All the while, his harried attendant had gently (but not without a small amount of anxiety) tried to press him to drink the antidote.

Shangjue had taken the bowl from him and force-fed him before he could finish saying, "Ge."

The bubbling of the water in the teapot pulls him back to the present and Shangjue lifts it off the brazier. Pouring a bowlful, he sets it on a tray and makes for the backrooms of the Jue residence.

Brewing a soothing tea for Yuanzhi is something Shangjue knows he can get the maids to do. But he won't. He won't ever rely on others when it comes to his didi.

And it isn't as if he doesn't know where Yuanzhi himself is coming from with his methods. His brilliant didi isn't a prodigy just because he is scarily proficient with herbs and hidden weaponry, no. Shangjue knows Yuanzhi is able to attain that status for himself based on his willingness to give his all.

The coughing switches up to a wheeze as Shangjue steps closer to the door.

"Ge, what are you doing here?"

Running his gaze over Yuanzhi, he takes a sniff. No blood. Good. Stepping into the room he had set aside for Yuanzhi the moment he was old enough to assume the familial responsibilities as the Zhi heir, he notes the thick cloak around didi's shoulder.

"Here," Shangjue says. Pressing the still-warm bowl into the cup of Yuanzhi's palms, he smiles. "Drink this."

"Yes, gege."

Shangjue waits until he has finished the whole thing before he takes the empty bowl out of his hands. Cupping Yuanzhi by the cheek, he tilts his face up into the lantern light, carefully cataloguing his expression.

The little brat has the audacity to smile. Guiltless and wide. Soothingly, as if talking to a spooked animal, Yuanzhi coaxes, "I'm fine, gege. It's not as bad as it sounds."

"You sound like you're coughing up a lung."

"Hey, that's not bad. You've seen bad." Yuanzhi chortles, tugging on Shangjue's sleeve. When he refuses to budge, he weakly offers, "At least I'm not choking on a mouthful of blood this time?"

Smacking Yuanzhi slightly over the shoulder, Shangjue hisses when didi laughs and coughs wheezily in turn. After a beat, he sighs. Pushing the hair out of Yuanzhi's eyes, he takes his temperature, satisfied when he doesn't feel feverish.

Looking at the notes and array of herbs on the worktable, he jerks his head at the door. "Pack up and come to bed."

"But, I'm so close to being done!"

Shangjue crosses his arms.

"Yes, ge."

Internally, Shangjue has to laugh. It's too easy to wrangle Yuanzhi when you know which buttons to push. Quietly, he waits until didi has all his things neatly stored away and arranged. Taking him by the hand, he snuffs out the lights in the room with a push of his inner energy.

"Show off." He hears Yuanzhi grousing next to him with no heat. Squeezing his hand in his, he serenely smiles when he leads them out of the backroom.

[adorawritesalot]

Because of my friend, i have found your account so you are also stuck with me (also the fact you still like hamilton too AAAAhHH-)

Anyways, Alex and Tim with an s/o that's so, painfully tall? Like above 6'5 and loves carrying their boyfriend around, is also sleep deprived and runs on red bull mixed with black coffee if it's fine ajdhajaq

awwww LMAOOO hiii!! love that!! hope u meant headcannons, as i will be doing those (idk if these can even be called headcannons tho) :) if u want me to do a oneshot or anything, hmu! hope u enjoy:) (btw i could never leave the hamilton phase HAHAH)

Alex:

Bro would love you just carrying him around.

I feel like he wouldn't even try to deny it, especially pre-operator Alex.

Let's be honest, the first thing he noticed about you was your height- it was hard not to notice it, after all.

And then you looked at him and he just about melted.

The first time you carried him was when he was working until late at night, trying to write the script to Marble Hornets. He started at 2pm, now it was nearing 11pm, and you were worried about him. Normally you would be the one not sleeping, considering the amount of redbull and black coffee you consume (which worries him quite a lot), but now he was working overtime and you didn't like being alone in your shared bed.

You walked in the kitchen, seeing him at the dining table. He hasn't noticed you yet, he is too busy figuring out if Brian's lines sound forced or not.

You then wrapped your arms under his torso and knees and carried him bridal style to your bed. He goes on and on about how he has to finish his work, but you successfuly silence him with a kiss.

,,You know, you should carry me more often."

To get back to your addiction to rebulls and black coffee, he is concerned. The first few times you've slept in the same bed, he thought you fell asleep after him. Wrong. You were up all night.

Tim:

I feel like he would act like he doesn't care about you carrying him around, but he loves it. (mommy issues)

As Alex, he noticed your height before anything else. Then he became your friend and got to know you. He was sold.

The first time you carried him was when he was having a bad day. Little memory loss over the day, seeing things that weren't there.

Let's just say he was awaiting the end of his shift very impatiently. He just wanted to get home, have a shower, and lie down with you.

When he walked through the front door and saw you making your way towards him, all smiley and nice in his shirt, he collapsed into your arms. You were confused, but let him let it out while whispering sweet nothings into his ear.

When he kind of calmed down, you took him, carried him all the way to the bathroom, and ran him a warm bubble bath. When you turned around to ask him if he wants the bubblegum or vanilla bubbles, you saw his slightly stunned face.

,,What's wrong?"

He doesn't want to tell you that the carrying made his heart flutter. Finally he could count on someone other than himself, and it felt great.

,,I just appreciate you a lot, darlin'."

The rest of the night was spent with laughter and cuddles.

Of course, he also tried to get you to stop drinking redbull so much, or even the coffee. He just wants you to sleep normally. He can't sometimes either, but it's because of something a bit different than the redbull+black coffee combo.

He was unsuccessful in trying to get you to leave the redbulls.

He is very bothered by the way you just drink a redbull in two minutes and finish a mug of black coffee five minutes later.

He might start hiding them. What could go wrong?

[sweetheradevil]

AUGUST COURT REPORTING THOUGHTS

Hiii :3 since court reporting takes up most of my time, I wanted to do a monthly write-up on my thoughts. I have a lot to say and I feel bad for subjecting all my friends to my yammering about it HAHAH

Current Speed: 140-160 WPM

The 2024 summer quarter has been the most challenging by far. This is the longest I've been stuck in a speed level (June-September) and I have had many, many frustrating moments with my typing abilities. I hit a wall for most of July, so I am currently two levels behind where I want to be. Fortunately, it looks like I'm just about to exit my 140s.

Despite my exasperation with my typing, I feel like this wall presented me with an opportunity to slow down and actually engage with the court reporting community as a whole and learn things about this career I wouldn't have considered if I had just continued speeding along.

In my stupor, I began talking to other reporters to learn why they pursued this career, what they struggled with as students, and also how things will start looking once I go out there and start working myself.

But before I get to that, I kind of wanted to talk about a realization I had about court reporting as a whole. I never doubted that this was the career I wanted, but I feel like being a court reporter in the era of misinformation takes on an entirely different meaning. With the rampant use of AI by people on the internet, peddling of malicious/false ideas, and the intake of large bodies of information, there's a distinct charm about being able to take down something verbatim. This is by no means me condoning the justice system (because as we all know, there are so many issues with it); however, I am glad that I'm a court reporter because should I come across injustices in court, I am taking that down on paper. I am preserving the history of the courtroom and in a time of rampant misinformation and downright manipulation of information, that is so important to me. I plan to work as an official in a courthouse (because to be so honest being my own boss sounds like hell on Earth) so I'll be present for so much stuff that happens.

The internet was once an endless source of knowledge, but now its function has been severely limited by incorrect information, censorship, and paywalls. I used to be in awe at the vast amounts of knowledge I had in the palm of my hand, only for it to be rendered insufficient by all of this bullshit that's out there. It almost feels integral to my values that I will be sitting and preserving a vital part of history in the justice system. Perhaps my efforts will be useful for someone who needs to look back on the record for evidence of various misdeeds, because god knows we need it.

Having to go through court reporting school is hellish, but because I believe it's for a good cause, it's worth it. It also pays handsomely, which I'm very happy about due to financial strife my family has in my adolescence, but that's a topic for another day.

That is one of my biggest inspirations for trekking through school. Another is the fact that this almost feels like a refuge from the horrible job market most people are at the whim of right now. Most reporters chose court reporting as a second career after they were made miserable by their previous jobs. Most of the court reporters I've spoken to are single mothers who had a better opportunity at life after pursuing this career. I'm on the young side for going through court reporting school (most of my schoolmates are middle-aged) but I'm glad to see that there are opportunities for people beyond university. I'm kind of relieved I'm not in a field dominated by men that will undermine my abilities, but rather with other women I have a lot of solidarity with. I really do love this community and the path I'm on.

I'm so, so excited. I think I am just about to pass out of my 140s, so let's hope I can make it to my 200s by the end of the year. Yippeee!

[scalamore]

Ch 114 Thoughts

OMG. THIS CHAPTER IS FANTASTIC. It only adapted around 1 novel chapter, so the second half was fantastic as it’s slowed down and took its time. The paneling is SUPERB. AHHHHH. ignoring the fact that they might skip a lot of stuff next chapter, because it’s pure Rupert’s POV. But again, as a reader, I take what I can get from this adaptation. Anyways, The first half is super interesting, because despite the words being the same as the novel, the context in the manhwa is significantly different, because of how it gives readers a visual. I say there’s a difference, because when I read the novel version, i was basically thinking “awww, I don’t like lehan so far, he’s kinda slow, but I’m glad he finally decided to stop being a puppet and help Rupe/Lali out because he realized he messed up” - I completely thought the story was trying to redeem him as a good guy. Meanwhile, the MANHWA suggests a different situation: From the lines they chose to adapt, the panels of Lari being uncomfortable, of her repeatedly trying to get away, from her not allowing him to hold her hand as before, from him mentioning Amanda - it all comes across as him trying to GUILT her into letting him/House Belois back into her life. Lari made it absolutely clear she wants nothing to do with him, but she then changes her mind and says she’l re-consider once Rupert’s position has stabilized. Lehan picks up on this, and then suggests he become Rupert’s escort because he thinks he’ll earn Lari’s favor back that way, instead of genuinely wanting to help Rupert for Lari’s sake. (There’s a difference!!). he’s also doing this weird thing where he keeps on saying he’ll protect her forever, as if he has some kind of savior complex??? She doesnt’ want your help or protection?? She’s fine without you?? The KR comments are absolutely hilarious: This is round 3 (?) of them absolutely hating on Lehan, how he’s so rude, barging into Lari’s life, still likes her as a woman, is a stubborn mule that does what he wants. He’s the reason why Rupert is suffering right now, he’s super annoying etc. (I was hoping to see more Rupert comments but all well).

So when readers read this chapter: form your own opinion on Lehan: is he an annoying, stubborn, dense person who still likes Lari, or his he a guy who’s trying to make amends with those he wronged?

(I’m jumping ship, I will continue to think negatively of him HAHAH)

I am just LOVING how Lari refuses to let him touch her anymore too, heeeeeeee.

—- The second half of the chapter is absolutely amazing for me. For the past week i was thinking that there’s a 50% chance Rupert would have eye bags (because he’s exhausted/missing her, and not sleeping well) and 50% not having eye bags (because novel says he was sleeping well because that’s how he can see lari - in his dreams). BUT IM SO HAPPY WITH THE EYE BAGS. Manhwa Rupert even said it: He’s trying to sleep more so he can see her in his dreams, but it’s only sometimes when he does, AND HE CAN’T REST WELL ANYWAYS SINCE SHE’S GONE. AAAAAAHHHHHH. RUPERTTTTT T_T But yes, 2-3 months later, Rupert is still a mess trying to cope from losing Lari. Just like her, can’t eat, can’t sleep. He’s able to do work decently well, but he just misses her THAT much. I LOVE the panel they added in from chapter 62, where Rupert asked her what it means to be “sad” and how she would feel if her family was hurt or died - this is the SECOND time this panel has been added into the manwha (the first was when Rupert took pity on the Belois knights when the carriage was destroyed). Again, even if Rupert doesn’t look like he took her seriously, he still listened carefully to everything she said, and took it to heart. This drives the point that TL2’s House Belois was NEVER in any real danger. Lari was 12 when she regressed; that scene in Chapter 62 happened when she was 14 and a half; she’s 16/17 now. She didn’t realize that Rupert had chosen to protect them on her behalf for a good 3 years now. She’s been that important to him for so long already. Novel detail: he knew they were preparing treason, so his solution was to keep a close eye on them, make sure his own defenses were stronger, and if they did attack, to suppress them in a way where NO ONE would get hurt, and toss the Count in jail, alive. If anything, he would not allow them to die or get hurt in the scuffle.

The way Lehan told Rupert that he wants to help him out as a Knight escort this time, for some reason, comes across as extremely fake in the manhwa, based on the paneling. Rupert’s in despair at Lari’s absence, and here Lehan is, waltzing in and saying he wants to do something for her, *when he was the one who caused this mess*. I LOVE this paneling, of how Rupert points out that it was Lehan/House Belois’ fault for losing her - you can see his anger, jealousy, despair, tensed up pose —- aaaaa. He’s just THAT pissed off at Lehan, who DARES to show up in front of him?? I also LOVE LOVE LOVE the manhwa original panel of him saving her from the fire that was included here: In the novel, it was briefly described as “He lost his mind when he saw her lying there lifeless”, BUT OMG to have him cry without realization, and to hug her first?? OMG HE HUGGED HER FIRST, OFF SCREEN IN THIS SERIES. AHHHHHHHH. The last panel, with Lehan’s expression is kinda strange. At first I thought it was trying to show him being sneaky/tricking him (which would be not consistent with future novel events), but I think it’s him giving a small smile/laugh as he realizes that the glorious Emperor of the Empire… is basically just sitting there, super jealous at him because he’s able to meet Lari. Rupert’s jealousy, is just that obvious. No chapter next week, it’s a scheduled break. 3 more chapters until S3 ends :(((((

[eirasummersart]

General info:

Here's my notes on how the relationship starts and develops! C: I did this mostly for myself so it might not be too prettily written, but I think it's still understandable! I hope you enjoy!

Big text under the cut~

He’s friends with Sebek since their first class day. Dillon tried to sit next to him and Sebek really rudely tried to make him leave. He started a rant about lowly humans and rambled on until he started praising his Waka-sama. Dillon only heard the last part and just answered with “Waka-sama is super cool, isn’t he??”. Since that day, Sebek made sure to always have a seat next to him for Dillon.

And little by little, the sitting next to each other at class became a “You’re a mess, Dillon, let’s study together, I’ll explain it to you”, and they started to hang out outside class for studying. (Dillon’s grades also got somewhat better). And then eventually they started to hang out aside from studying too.

Sebek is usually busy with one thing or another, and Dillon is always going around the campus doing who knows what (stalking people, foraging for food, just exploring…). But when they do see each other, Dillon runs to him and gives him a big hug (Since he’s the one to spot Sebek first 90% of the time). After that, they’d hang out if it’s possible or just exchange a few words and part ways again~ (Dillon would probably hang around Sebek if he’s patrolling and leaves once he gets bored or Sebek tells him he’s being a bother hahah He’s good at surveillance tho, so he’s usually allowed to stay~)

Aside from that, Dillon would sometimes drag him to bask under the sun (“We need to get some sun or we’ll grow weak!!”) and get him to sit on the grass with him for a bit while Dillon lays down (he still hasn’t gotten Sebek to lay down as well, he tries hahah). They just kinda relax a bit at those times :D

As for how the dynamic itself is, Sebek would usually be talking about something or the other for a long while, and Dillon would listen closely to every word and would be really impressed and praise him by the end (although he always praises the weirdest thing because that’s what grabs his attention hahaha).

On the other hand, Dillon would bring back lots of snacks or small trinkets for Sebek. He always shares his stuff with people he cares about and Sebek is one of the few in NRC he gives the most to (kinda as much as he does with Ruggie). Partially because they’re together a lot and partially because he’s just close to him~

They do sit together to eat more often than not in the cafeteria. They’re a sight to behold. Table full of dishes and dishes of food and they just inhale it all. The first time Dillon stole something from Sebek’s plate, he got mad and threatened to steal food from Dillon’s plate next if he did it again. But Dillon just smiled brightly and said “Of course! You can always take half of my food if you want to :D” and Sebek was stunned and quite moved so he did not complain ever again about the food stealing (he gets some from Dillon’s plates too).

—

After some time with this comfortable dynamic, there’s a day when there’s just no place to sit down to study together, and they can’t sit outside that day (too cold). And so, Sebek just says “let’s go to my room, we won’t be bothered there” and Dillon obviously just agrees happily like he always does with everything Sebek says.

And the first thing he sees as he enters the room: Waka-sama’s big portrait, proudly hanging from the wall. Seeing his fixed gaze, Sebek just casually mentions that it's a portrait of Waka-sama while leaving his bag and stuff. Dillon just looks at it intently for a bit and in the end he just goes “That’s Waka-sama-senpai? I’ve never seen him before. What an amazing portrait, you’re so lucky! :D” and Sebek is so moved by his appreciation that he tears up just a tiny bit, and genuinely suggests Dillon should just move to Diasomnia with them. Dillon just takes that as a joke and playfully rejects the offer like “of course not, silly! Why would I change dorms lmao” and Sebek was just a tiny bit disappointed hahahaha

But well, after that they do end up always going to Sebek’s room to study. And then they hang out there if they have time afterwards. And bond more, and get closer….

—

And after a while of that, Dillon starts to have… weird feelings around Sebek. He’s not sure what’s wrong? But he gets a bit nervous, he really enjoys hearing his loud as heck voice (even if it hurts his ears a bit), he wants to hug him more, wants to give him more gifts, share with him all he finds, tell him all that happens during his day…

He does all that unconsciously, and when he realizes it’s gotten out of hand, he just pulls away. Completely. He still sits next to him in class, but pulls his chair a bit farther away. He uses excuses to not study together. And just goes to the club activities or to the forest more and more to get his mind out of it. Why can’t he just enjoy his company as he always did??

Sebek is quite confused and a little bit hurt, but aside from trying to just do things as normal and still ask to hang out or study, he does not push more. He does not know what to do, to be honest.

But other people do notice this big sudden shift, and the first year group gets together for an intervention. So they all (minus Sebek, obviously) gang on to Dillon, with a lot of difficulty they manage to trap him to talk, and try and figure out what the heck happened. There’s a lot of non concrete answers from Dillon and they’re not going anywhere until Ace just teasingly says “What, you have a crush on him or something? lol” and Dillon has the sudden realization that… yeah. That’s it, that’s what it is. And with his realization, everyone realizes too and they all just mentally facepalm a bit. 

After a long talk of “If you like him, why do you avoid him???” and lots of “I don’t know, I don’t know!!” he puts his feelings a bit in order and is now able to process it by himself for a few more days.

And after that, with no change from Sebek’s perspective, but seeing that the other first years know something they’re not telling him, he ends up going to confront Dillon.

So, he goes all stern and angry, expecting another excuse from Dillon to leave but determined to not let him get away. But Dillon actually accepted talking with him without putting up any fight. And when Sebek asks “What’s wrong with you lately?” Dillon just directly and with no hesitation just tells him “I have a crush on you”. Before Sebek can even answer him, blushing and in quite a shock, Dillon just continues “It’s ok, though. Don’t worry, you don’t have to change anything. I’m used to it now, it won’t be a problem” and just like that he leaves him there. Sebek is quite stunned there for a bit until he goes “WHAAAT??!” (and everyone turns to look at him confused kalsfhalksf).

The awkwardness doesn’t completely disappear, but they start hanging out again normally. But Dillon keeps his distance a bit more, and doesn't hug him as much. He keeps giving him stuff, as much as before he pulled away, and he’s as attentive with him as always, still praising him all the time. Sebek was determined to do as Dillon had said, not change anything and just go back to normal. But something is different… and he can’t just leave it be…

He ends up so distracted and quite visibly distraught that the others in Diasomnia notice. Even Malleus comments on it once. Lilia does figure it out quite easily and teases him here and there without revealing he does now. Until the day Sebek just can’t take it anymore and asks for help. And so Lilia gives him the worst advice ever, as if it were really serious. Silver tries to help him too (mainly telling him what advice from Lilia he shouldn't follow) but Sebek dismisses him every time.

—

Sebek has so many plans about what he should do, so many mental notes from all that Lilia has told him. But he just can’t find the right time to put them into action. It’s so difficult! 

But then one day, Dillon pulls away from him, they weren’t even sitting that close, but he still pulls away… and Sebek just has the impulse to get him closer again. So he pulls him towards him and hugs him tight. Dillon awkwardly laughs and tries to pull away without making a fuss, but Sebek will NOT let him go, not anymore, he wants him right here. And Dillon starts to get really nervous and embarrassed, and he’s feeling things he said he wouldn’t anymore, and he tries to pull away more forcefully and asks “What are you doing?”.

Sebek had all these plans ready, but at that moment he could only answer “I want you close, don’t pull away from me anymore!!”. Dillon stops struggling after that, and a second later he wraps his arms and legs around Sebek and squeeeeezes really tight. He missed this so much, he loves having him close, he just wanted to be closer and closer….

After sitting in silence like that, just hugging each other tight, Dillon says in a quiet voice “Do you understand what this means? If you do this I’ll want you closer and closer… I like you so much…” and Sebek answers in a uncharastically low voice “That’s what I want to… I like you too…”

After that Dillon pulls away just so he can look at him and beams with a “You do?” with a big smile, before going back to hugging him EVEN TIGHTER all happy and laughing. Right then, Sebek just feels like everything is how it should be “this is what I was missing, this is what I want”.

—

After that, Dillon gets clingier than before. Sebek did not think that possible, but Dillon finds even more occasions to give him a hug and looks for him even more often, even if it’s not to stay for a long time (Usually he just gives him a cute trinket or food and leaves). But that's all. If they’re alone sometimes Dillon would cling to his arm or hold his hand too. But not too much. He seems to just stop himself at tight hugs. So Sebek starts to keep him closer even after hugs, so they can cuddle when sitting together. And holds his hand more, and pats his hair (Dillon really likes when he does it, turns to mush in his arms). But only when they’re completely alone, they don’t like this sort of thing in public (aside from what Dillon already shamelessly did as just friends).

Dillon also praises him even more than before, and with more loving words as well, much more endearing and awed by Sebek. And Sebek drinks on that SO MUCH, he starts to boast even more, tries to do stuff just for his praise, and he gets it, so he just keeps doing it. Dillon just genuinely thinks he’s amazing and that’s why he says it. But one day he actually praises him but ends it with a “This is why I love you so much <3” for the first time, Sebek’s brain just short circuits and holds him close and gives him a big kiss (an awkward one though, he has absolutely 0 prior experience). He gets really embarrassed when he realizes he just gave him their first kiss just like that, oh no! But Dillon just smiles brightly and goes in for another one and Sebek forgets all about his panic. So the kisses end up a regular occurrence from then on, only when they’re completely alone, though. They really want their privacy for that. (Although Dillon does sometimeeees give Sebek kisses on the cheek as a goodbye when he feels like it and Sebek is happy but stunned every time).

---

That's all in this one! Some more future stuff and some other things in the next post tomorrow, with the ship questions~

If you read all this, thank you so much for your interest! I hope you liked it 👉👈

[gemmabee]

my battlestar galactica thoughts

putting this under a read more because of major spoilers for the entire show.

I don’t even know where to begin. I watched the last episode yesterday and I’ve still not recovered. The thing with binging the entirety of the show in less than a month is you get all of the story at once and not in increments as you would watching it when it aired. Which means, a lot of stuff is sorta blended together in my head and there’s a lot I have forgotten about, simply because the characters change so much during the seasons that looking back on moments in season 1 you can barely recognise these same characters and their motivations. This is a good thing though, character development (or regression) is a vital part of great storytelling. and boy, what a monumentous journey, both literally and figuratively. This story took me places I never expected to go, with mindblowing plottwist i never saw coming. Knowing absolutely nothing about this show and, somehow, having avoided all spoilers that mattered, I came into this fully expecting only two things: 1. There was going to be aliens.

2. The Starbuck and Lee romance. (My initial reason for starting the show. They’re both cute.) 

I did not expect the aliens (or the Cylons) to be manmade AI creation gone rogue, but I loved it. I loved everything regarding the Cylons (except, perhaps, the human genocide. that wasn’t lit); How they came to be, the way they perceived themselves and the humans and the struggle of adhering to your programming or breaking out of it and becoming more than just a machine. It was utterly fascinating. Likewise to see the human aspect, which is of course the main point of focus throughtout the initial seasons. And I think this is what makes this show so good, because everybody, Cylon or not, are so very, very human and I could love a character utterly in one moment and in the next they could fill me with frustration or contempt even. (Tom Zarek i’m eyeing you hard) 

I enjoyed the spirituality of the show as well. This was something I did not expect, at least not to this degree, and this made me grateful that I have waited until now with getting into the show. I don’t believe a younger me would have appreciated the message of the show as well as present me does. Honestly, it’s a bittersweet story but in itself also deeply moving and hopeful. I don’t think I’ve cried so much to a show before, but all the characters really had me going through it.  Especially Lee and Starbuck. The internet somehow had let me to the assumption that the were The Couple. They were Endgame. and I fully expected that, so I was fine with watching their dance around each other, the whole “will they, wont they?” scenario I’ve seen times before. But I enjoyed it, I always found their scenes together interesting and fun (and sometimes frustrating). I just felt really bad for Sam and Dee (best girl, love you), and I would just sit there like “please for the love of galactica, divorce your partners and get together already, why is this dragging out??”  and then... they don’t even end up together??? because starbuck apparently DID die in season 3 and the kara we see is either her angelic form (beautiful) or an angelic being with the memories of kara thrace and not actually her (devastating) and she just disappears when they finally reach our earth and her job is done. The way Lee just stands there alone in the meadow just about broke my heart. Dee dead, Kara dead, Dad gone. Ah, so tragic. But mostly sad for me and my shipper heart I think. I really did love them and wanted them to be together. 

And just as I was trying to recover from that they just timeskipped 150.000 years and essentially killed off everybody hahah. But I did enjoy the last 5 minutes in present time, and I honestly thought (hoped) they would tease us with showing some of the characters reincarnated, but alas no juice. Instead we do get to see the Gaius and Caprica Six “Angels” walk down the street of a present day metropolian city and I thought their short conversation tied up everything quite nicely. And it was all in all a cool bit of foreshadowing for what could truly be in store for the human race, if we are not careful. Very thoughtprovoking conclusion and all in all a stellar note to end the show on. 

There’s so much i could talk about, this is merely the tip of the iceberg and I will probably make another post talking about all the main characters because they deserve to be talked about individually and i love them and i miss them and I am not crying again, nope. 

Regardless, I really think this show sets a precedent for future shows to be inspired by. Though it is by no means without flaws, i still felt the quality of the show was top notch and I’m so grateful to the cast and crew for this considerable accomplishment. What a beast of a story, what amazing characters and attention to details. This show has earned a special place in my heart and I can’t wait to rewatch this show in 10 years time and probably cry just as much as the first time around. 

So say we all.

[boba-beom]

Angel,

There are 3 hours left for your birthday and I’m saddened I couldn’t celebrate it with you sooner! (Will let you know why privately)

I had something special prepared for you but I would like to tell you a few words!

01-20-22 was the first day we talked! You wanna what it was about? It was about how our birthday were exactly one month apart!

During this time I was new to tumblr I was new to discord and wanted a place to fit in! You made my time to the new environment really easy for me!

We became friends in no time! I know there’s distance between us but I gained a close friend, someone I trust and can go to whenever I need to. Someone who has shown me endless amount of love, and support. That distance becomes just distance when you look at the bond we’ve created!

You are someone so special and important and the people around you, my self included are so happy to have someone as sweet, loving, kind, smart, funny person like you!

I definitely consider you one of my online bestfriends because you truly know things about me that my irl friends don’t know!

I love and miss our late night talks whether it was late night for me or late night for you! We need to voice call asappppp!

I think it goes without saying but you truly get how I feel like no one else does! I think it confirmed that we are a different kind when we were losing our mind because of that one taehyun laugh followed by his “진짜” you remember that angel? How we both literally lost it at one word. Only taehyun will do that for you only taehyun hahah.

This might sound cheesy and you know what I’m okay with that but you are the Beomgyu to my Yeonjun! Quite literally 🥺💗

I hope we get to meet each other soon and go to all the food places so we can do our little asmr mukbang! Not only for that but to finally be able to see you and I just know we will spend hours talking and talking(I hope your sister is okay with that hahah). I don’t think there has ever been a dull moment or conversation that I’ve had with you!

I mean we can go from crying about how life is shitty to talking about how we’d want redacted to redact redact redact lol(based on true story I don’t know if you remember when we called on ig that one time you were in the ph)

I just wanna hype you up a bit but girlllll YOU ARE GORGEOUS!! STUNNING!!!!! I think I’ve shared this a few times but I when I first joined and saw your photos I was like she’s soooo gorgeous and your style!! YOUR STYLE!!!! I am in love with ! (Send your girl some pointers hahaha) I think you have such pretty eyes and I love your hair!!!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL OKAYYY!!

I have to take some time to also mention how you are so down to help anyone who needs it! I know you were there for me helping me when I was going to post my very first fic! Not to mention you were instantly willing to help with my theme which so many people loved and complimented! You are always there for me during hard times even to just listen!

I love that we have matching pfp 🥺 do you remember what started it? It was when the tribute stage performance for weverse con came out and we were obsessed with the with the burgundy silk shirts and the fans and beomgyu long hair! We were in the nsfw section just sending a bunch of “🦋🐱🦋🐱🦋🐱🦋🐱” then we both changed our pfp and it was accidentally matching so we’ve been matching since then! I think it’s really cute and special 🥺

I would just lastly like to say how much you mean to me to me and that no matter where life takes us you will always have a special place in my heart and mind! I love love love love you so much! I hope you had a great day and I can’t wait till I hear all about it 🥺💗 I miss you Lots Angel!

I am always here for you!

I hope you have the happiest of birthdays! 🥳

HappySmilesDay 💗

Oh p.s. I got me cake yesterday and I sang hbd to you before I ate it but my dumbass took the video on Snapchat and forgot to save it! 😩

Angie 🥹 thank you isn’t enough to show how grateful I am to have you in my life. you’re like a hidden gem I didn’t know that I would eventually keep along with me from day to day. I do remember bonding over our birthdays and it all stemmed from there!

you and I both know so well that I will always be there for you and anyone if they need 🫶🏼 wasn’t called smiles for no reason (I’m sorry lmao that was cheesy). I also find it so amusing just how easily we relate together. I’ve enjoyed every single interaction, moment, call, voice note, squealing about taehyun’s laugh and his ‘진짜‘, and all of the above.

lmao the fact that we can go on and on, talking about whatever but it’s okay, yappers will be yappers and that’s us 🤭 no matter what it is we just manage to hold it out well!

thank you for the compliments and plenty of your kind words 🥹 I have so much love for you, I hope you always know that! and I can’t wait for the day we meet! I’m sure it will bring us closer than we already are 🫶🏼

I have so much more to say but it can wait for another special day 🤭 I love you so much and you are always going to be the yeonjun to my beomgyu 🤍 I miss you lots and I hope you’re always taking care of yourself!

take your time with everything and I love you a hundred times over!!! thank you for the cute beomjun pictures and the cake is super cute 😭 you’re so precious, Angel!

[azuisreading]

Pine for You by J.M. Leigh & Alexis Layne

Rosie Atwood is overwhelmed. Christmas used to be her favorite time of year, but everything changed five years ago when her best friend ghosted her right before she could tell him how she really felt. And it’s all gone downhill since. When her sister dies, and Rosie’s left in charge of her young nephew, she’s willing to do whatever she needs to protect him from the Atwood curse. Including becoming a surrogate for her oldest sister in exchange for meals and a place to live. Her last dream is to turn things around for Waldvogel Farms. Holden’s grandparents are the best family she ever had, and she refuses to let them down. But being pregnant and thrust into the role of parent doesn’t make it easy. Then Holden Moore shows back up, ready to reclaim his spot in her life like nothing changed. Rosie thinks things can’t get any worse. Until someone starts sabotaging all the work she’d done to save the Farm. Is Holden behind the damage? Using it as an excuse to get close to her? Or is there something more sinister at play? Holden Moore never intended to leave Pinesbury behind. He just wanted to be a soldier. And he wanted to be the kind of man his best friend could love. But a close call on his first deployment made Holden reevaluate everything he’d ever known. Afraid he wouldn’t be there for Rosie or his family back home, Holden cut ties. Now he’s back in town, five years later, and ready to leave combat behind and right his wrongs. It’s just too bad Rosie isn’t ready to welcome him back into her life. But Holden is determined to change her mind. When things start going wrong at Waldvogel Farms, Holden finds himself blamed by the town that helped raise him. Juggling the hunt for the mysterious saboteur, rebuilding his relationship with Rosie, and fighting his status as Pinesbury’s Fallen Golden Boy wasn’t how he planned to spend his first Christmas back, but when an innocent gets caught in the middle, Holden has no choice but to tap into his old training or risk losing everything. With Happily Ever After on the line, will Rosie and Holden be able to heal old wounds and save Waldvogel Farms in time for Christmas? Or will it all go down in flames?

Review

Even though I’m not a fan of Christmas or Hallmark movies, I’m so glad to be able to read this Christmas-y breeze from J.M. Leigh, paired with Alexis Layne, on this story more than ready for the holidays and good enough to pair up with a great cup of hot chocolate. Being part of an ARC team has its perks, eh?

It was new to read J.M. Leigh in something different than her Anderson Security series, not at all surprising because there was also romance, and it was a nice gift to see that the security company wasn’t that far away. I obsessed over this point, hahah

(Best) friends to lovers will always be a huge trope for me (and one I would never live myself), executed with perfection in these pages. There was nothing to say (in reality, there was a lot, I don’t forget myself that I’m incessantly vouching for communication over all things), and it definitely could have been better the other way (by talking, of course), but there were some heavy and valid reasons and what matter most is that everything ended well. They both knew each other and understood why they did what they did, so there was nothing to hold against themselves. In fact, if they dared to hold something against the other, they would have been stopping the perfect future they never thought (or maybe they did?) they would have against themselves! And I’m definitely not into that kind of trope.

It wasn’t easy, and it could have been worse, but the thread connecting them was more than enough to help them overcome the situations surrounding their separation.

There’s nothing better (as bad as it can be) than a crisis to lead people to where they should be.

I personally hope that sentence doesn’t come back to bite me on my behind…

If there’s something that drove me mad while reading was the purposely evident (or at least to me) evil of the story. It was right there before my eyes and there was nothing I could do to help them! It would have been so easy to spot in advance if things weren’t as they were, and I’m going to believe that that was the trick. Overwhelmingly glad of the outcome, though, really hoping for our Anderson Security girl to get the opportunity she wants. Both of them, heheh

This story was a delight and it surprised me how little annoyed I felt about Christmas here. Everyone likes a little miracle, right? Why not take this one and spend a cozy holidays?

[citadelsanchez]

hahah what if Rick gets drunk and reader if taking care of them and he just slips that he likes them? and compliments them and just kinda goes off?(then denies anything happened the next day when they ask?) I just think about that a lot tbh sdkj

You got it! Wrote this at 3 am and couldn't think of a better bit than the hair thing, go easy on me asfjkxc. Also did it in y/n fashion again. Hope you like it!

~~~~~~~~~

"Alright Rick, I may be alone in this opinion, but the way you're staggering and drooling on the floor tells me you need that bottle confiscated" you sigh, miserably attempting to snatch the alcohol from Rick's fingers.

"Hey s-s-sh-ut the fuck up Y/N, y-y-y-you're being ridiculous. I'm a-alwaaays drunk" Rick retorted, successfully pulling away the bottle away. He laughs before teetering again, placing his hands on your shoulders to balance himself.

You look up at him with a slightly annoyed expression. "Rick, I've been trying to get you to bed for 2 hours. Please just stop being stubborn and follow me."

He pokes your shoulders playfully now, "Oooooh, really? Into bed for w-what cause I think I'm down."

"Into bed for my sanity, please."

He scoffed in response, beginning to walk off into the Smiths' living room but knocked over the table near the wall instead.

"Rick, Jesus Christ," you tug on his arm and he bends down slightly, clearly fighting sleep to the best of his ability. He puts a hand in your hair and starts twirling it in his fingers slowly.

"How do youuu get it s-so bouncy?"

You're confused for a second and then stifle a laugh, as you've never seen Rick this vulnerable and... affectionate? before.

"I- uh, it's just volumizer" you respond.

He looks at you still in a dazed wondrous state. "It's pretty. And I-I don't like that wo-ORRD but you know, I guess I co-could tell you that now. I always n-notice it firSSTT when I see you," he burps out.

You feel a slight warmth in the pit of your stomach. Rick has always been playfully flirty with you here and there, but has never expressed any kind of genuine sentiment like this before.

"Thanks Rick, that's.. that's sweet of you."

"I-I-I mean like I actually think you're cu-cute like a little baby, i-it's weird," he goes on.

"Okay, tell me more, but let's go in here okay?" You gently place your arm under his and steer him towards his bedroom. He rolls his head to the side and gives a small "okay" in response.

You manage to drag him into his room and take his lab coat and pants off and get him onto the bed. "Ugh, see wh-what I mean, it's sick..ening" Rick slurs out, staring up at you.

"What?" You ask, sitting on the bed beside him.

"H-how fucking caring you are. G-god I just want to be around you aalllllll the time. I always hope it'll-it'll rub off on me b-but I don't think anyone could be as go-good natured as you."

Your cheeks burn red as you study his face, his head still bobbing while blinking at you slowly.

"A-and I know that I'll deny this sh-shit later but Y/N you're a saint. B-beautiful and delicate. And I've s-seen a lot o-o-of fine specimens b-but I think you're the truuee definition of a goddess."

Your mouth hangs agape a little as you realize that he's serious. He's not just spouting some speech, he's telling the truth. The unfiltered truth. Only drunk Rick does that, and you've only seen it twice before.

"Um, well- thank you Rick, you're uh, not so bad yourself. I've always-"

"Hey, shh, this was my confession t-time, not yours. J-just lay with me, pleaaseee.." you can see his eyes start to flutter shut as he holds an arm out to invite you into an embrace.

You lay your head on his chest and he wraps his arm tightly around your body before you both drift into a deep sleep.

----

In the morning, you awake to an empty bed and glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table. It reads 11:54 am. You're beginning to recall last night's events as Rick walks in, fully dressed. He clears his throat.

"So you wanna tell me why uh, you're in my bed?"

You snicker at this. "Oh, Rick, you suddenly don't remember?"

"Remember what? If we screwed, th-then clearly not. Must not have been that impressed sweetie."

"Nope, we didn't. Buuuut, you did basically praise me all night" you smirk.

"Not a chance," Rick laughs and crosses his arms sternly.

"You did though. And I know that for the smartest man in the universe, your memory isn't that bad. Even in a hangover," you tease now, desperate for him to admit to his vulnerability.

He sits on the bed beside you and leans to get in your face. "Are you that desperate for my attention that you're making things up?"

"Hmm, I guess so. Anyway, I've got to go get dressed and volumize my hair, we'll talk later," you smile as you get up to leave.

Before you go, you catch a small look of shock on his face and a quiet "shit" escape his mouth.

[0oolookitsme]

A Messy Day

Type- One-Shot

Verse- Singer!Harry xCeo!Y/n

Word Count- 2.5k

Warnings- I literally never write angst and I guess it might be showing in this fic lmao.

A/N- I just hope you don't absolutely hate this, I just don't have any idea what couples would fight about, what would be a big or small deal for them! I already beg your pardon hahah <3

She doesn't know what she did that made him feel like that. She just cares for him and is in love with him- is that where she went wrong? Because if yes, then this might be the only mistake which will have wounded her so badly that she won't even speak to another human ever again.

She was just helping him calm down before the show, telling him all the positive things that could happen while he was on the stage as he was brushing his teeth. She was just coming onto the point of making memories when he just spat out the toothpaste, rinsed his mouth and went away humming back at her in a dismissive response.

She was left dumbfounded sitting on the bathroom counter, but she brushed it off thinking maybe he was just feeling better now. It hit her in the heart when she saw him rambling to Mitch instead and as much as she tried to cover up her disappointment by thinking that he maybe wanted some relatability, she couldn't help but leave the space immediately to just forget this ever happened.

And she had. Sitting on a wooden chair, she chatted away with the cooking crew to selfishly keep her mind away from the way Harry had stirred-up shit in the over-thinking part of her brain. But she was also curious to know about how it felt to cook at somewhere which isn't the most usual space for cooking and chef-ing around.

She had even befriended the female chef; Charlotte was her name. Charlotte had told her about her nickname often being 'chocolate' to sweeten y/n's mood. Maybe she had just sensed that something was off ...women things? Y/n has no idea.

"Is my soup ready?" Harry's head peeked inside the kitchen area and every head turned towards him except for y/n's as she truly cannot afford tearing up in front of so many people.

One of them chimed in to tell him that it isn't yet but should be in around five more minutes. "Can you bring it to my room, love?" He asked and there's no doubt he's talking to his girlfriend.

"Sure," she mumbles quietly, her back still turned to him. Hearing him pad away without much care about her strange behaviour towards him, she looked up again while inhaling deeply, trying to keep her emotions in control when all she wanted to do was lock herself up in a bathroom and cry.

Only Harry had this much control over her feelings, only him. No one could make her want to just cry this much but Harry, she realized today. No one could pull as many emotions out of her as he could- she knew that since before though. But all she can think of right now is them separating- him leaving her all alone to be specific, and regrets of opening up to him and letting her walls down for him start to fill in.

"You wanna try this and tell me how it tastes? I'm sure you have a pretty good taste," Charlotte pats her shoulders, causing her to blink out of the void.

"Of course," she perks up at the sound of food, getting off the chair. Somewhere inside, she's a lot grateful for Char, so she brushes her hand on her back, trying to let her know without having to say it out loud.

Turning to face y/n, Char hands her a small tea plate while mumbling 'here'. The loose liquid is moving around with ease in the circular utensil, so y/n can tell that it's the soup and not the curry to a dinner they'll be packing for the crew.

She carefully slurps on it and the hot feeling of it against the back of her throat makes her rolls her eyes at the back of head. It brings her comfort. "Fuck, this shit is so very good," she opens her eyes to look at a grinning Charlotte. "You were on the Vogue Magazine labeled as the best chef for a reason, eh?" She compliments the blushing chef.

Just as Char mutters a small 'thank you' Y/n realizes that she might be giving out wrong indications, especially with how close she's standing to her. "Sorry," she clears her throat while backing away a few steps while waiting for Char to pour the soup in a bowl so that she can take it to- oh hell no.

She'll do anything to avoid him right now but seeing everyone busy in something, she has to somehow work up the courage to face him.

Charlotte hums for y/n to take ahold of the bowl and she takes it graciously to feel the heat of the utensil in her palms for a mere while. With the spoon already dipped inside, she moves towards the exit with caution as to not move with too much movement or some soup might end up on floor- and she really doesn't want to increase someone's work in this already hectic schedule.

Taking a turn towards the room of the one and only, she knocks lightly before opening the door and placing her first step inside through the small gap between the door and its frame. Instantly the door is hardly pushed back to close it and she feels the muscles of her foot squish so hard that a hissed-yell escapes her mouth.

Just as she curses though, the person inside opens the door with a frown on their face. "Couldn't you have waited for me to open the door or at least told me that it's you? I'm literally in my briefs!" He whisper yells at her and a sheen layer of salty water spreads across her sight, making everything look blurry.

Usually, they both would've laughed at their silliness but not right now- not when some shit has already been churned up. They can't even make themselves fake smile at each other.

"Fuckin' shit Harry, no! You tell me to bring you your damn soup and expect a ghost to bring it to you?" She lightly yells at him, letting him take ahold of the bowl now. Just as he turns around to place his bowl on the vanity with a strange face, she runs away. She runs to save herself the dignity she's got and slams the bathroom door once she's in there.

Maybe they could've talked through their fight as he'd slurp on his soup and y/n would chew on some cashews, but there's no way she's going back so instantly now.

He's only been making her feel ashamed of herself since the fucking morning today and she can't bring herself to be vulnerable in front of him anymore for the day- hopefully. Why is she getting so fucking sensitive ever since he has entered her life, she has no idea and it's driving her insane. Maybe it's just her periods approaching but she can't help but accept that it's her Harry, her boyfriend, love of her life and fucking best friend who's made her feel like shit all day.

She looks up, facing the ceiling so that her tears don't slip out.

It all started this morning when she was just feeling generous with affections and maybe he was feeling like an adult, not liking her 'child-like' behaviour. Yep, he had asked her "You're acting so childish today, everything Okay?" when all she wanted to do was make a fountain on the top of his head.

She had laughed it off in the moment, but she just gets it now.

Breathing in and out while her tears get soaked back in, she thinks about every fun memory she can and passes herself a sweet smile in the mirror, waiting till her nose returns back to its normal and she suddenly starts looking pretty.

She opens the door and moves towards his room again, the pain in her foot having been thought away as she knocks and waits for him to open the door.

When Harry does open the door wide enough for her to enter, she slides in quickly, skidding on her socks quickly towards the sofa and picks up her backpack.

"Where are you going?" He asks her in a not-so-sweet-tone when he notices her slipping out of the room quietly and exhales in annoyance when she doesn't reply. All he wants is a quiet-cuddle session with his girlfriend, but she just can't stop talking and acting like a child. He's been waiting all day for her to realize that he's feeling down and needy and wants her warmth. Key word: realize; for her to realize without him having told her anything, not even a damn hint.

He's an adult, he should just spit it out and set things straight in front of her, tell her what he wants but no- he feels like a child who just wants to feel understood, so when she tries to provide him some good company by simply providing him with her love, he decides that she's the one acting childish.

He has no idea why he wants to feel understood; he clearly is by the people who he loves. And that's when he realizes, he is just playing around by not telling what he wants and is getting grumpier when the person he wants doesn't read his mind.

He guesses he's the one on the bad side right now, but that doesn't make him go and run for y/n because he's in his egotistic maniac mindset right now.

So, because his girlfriend ignoring him stroke his ego really bad, he sits down on the couch and finishes the rest of the soup which seems to have gotten absolutely cold by now. But that doesn't mean it isn't affecting the weird sensation on his tongue, which had gotten burnt during the early slurps of the soup.

He starts mumbling incoherent things randomly, shit-talking about everyone else to make himself better.

When y/n's head bobs in through the door again, he's ready to not react to her dismissing him but when she silently picks up her laptop's charger and moves to exit the room again, he bursts.

"Can you not give me the silent-treatment? Maybe just act like the grownup you are and tell me what's wrong?" He picks on her, setting out the words clearly pointing towards him to refer to her. And boy does he shrink on the inside when she scoffs.

But his words continuously fall deaf on Y/n's ears, as they are flooded by the sound of her own heartbeat racing and blood pumping through her arteries while she vigorously scratches that part of her brain internally which is playing the words that spilled from his mouth accidently on repeat; to get them erased from where they seem to have also imprinted themselves.

"Just shut up, y/n!" He had shouted at her when she was in the midst of telling him about a joke on their way here- and it honestly didn't affect her as much as the words he muttered under his breath while turning away from her to face the window instead did. "Don't even know why I brought y' with me. All you've been doing is treat me like a damn child and act childish yourself."

Trust her, she was trying to keep her mind off these moments but this one just won't leave her alone.

"Harry, do you realize who the fuck is being a child right now? It's you! Cause if you really were acting like an adult, you wouldn't need me to tell you what the fuck's wrong."

But it's all a game of better comebacks now, and y/n is not going to back down.

"All you have done today is make my day shit when all I did was try to make yours better. You made me feel fucking ashamed of myself, H." She gritted out the last part, tears brimming up to her waterline again as she tries to blink them away but fails. And she can see the alarm on his face, in his eyes but she cannot give two fucks right now. Perhaps, he realized that he was being a bitch?

"Love- I... I'm so sorry." He gets up, hurrying towards y/n to enclose his arms around her and when she doesn't push him away but continues to tell him about everything he told her that hurt her, he feels a knife twisting in through his stomach. He's just disgusted by himself that he made her cry. The woman he swore to keep happy- he made her cry.

When he hugs her, y/n can't help but feel like this fight is slipping out of her fist and being pushed under the carpet because she just started crying. But maybe this actually isn't as much of a big deal she's making it out to be.

"I know I disrespected you, and I'm sorry. It's my fault. I'm the one who didn't communicate properly and expected you to read my mind," he shushes her, rubbing her back as she wipes her tears away.

At least he set the things out for her to learn what's wrong after seeing her cry, so that's a win. But she shouldn't have to cry to get him to fucking set things out.

She chuckles dryly at this. "You seriously made me think that you were gonna leave me simply because you didn't feel comfortable enough to communicate with me... Also, is that supposed to make me feel better? Because it is clearly not." She says, pressing her forearms on his chest to push him away.

"Lovie- don't be so hard on me, I'm sorry! I didn't realize what I was doing and-and why would you think I'm gonna leave you? Baby that's never happening, you're seriously stuck with me now 'cause my clingy ass ain't gonna leave you, nah." He chuckles, trying to lighten the mood a bit.

Her eyes light up slightly at the affirmation but her face is still looking like a carved stone right now. A smile tugs at the corner of her lips but she settles it down by rolling her lips in. "I'm not going to forgive you so easily, H. I won't make a big deal out of this. You were feeling needy and felt that it'd be childish of you to just ask for what you wanted," she stopped to catch her breath. "I may have over-thought it all a little, but it still doesn't dismiss the feeling of me hurt. So, let's get it straight," she stops again to create some suspense as she makes a mischievous eye contact with him.

"First: I'm not scratching your scalp for a week. Second: No kisses till the next show is over. Third, dare you ask me to tell you jokes and lastly, I am not humming songs to you till you sleep because I'm a kid and well, it's adults who sing kids to sleep."

"You did not just make that third rule and say that!"

She giggles as she parts to move out of the room. "Could say the same for every time you opened your mouth in front of me today, Styles."

Going over all the rules in his head, Harry just knows that he indeed truly messed up today.