#this is so random for me but i saw this the other night and it genuinley hasnt left my brain
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Part 2 of the last highschool au!Aventurine but make it the famous prom confession from Aventurine after trying to flirt with oblivious reader for months 🗣️ Especially when it's their final prom before graduating
“Can I have this dance?” | Part 2
Summary: On prom night, after months of subtle flirting, Aventurine finally gathers the courage to confess his feelings to you, realizing he’s been falling for you all along. Amid the soft glow of the dance floor, he admits his affection, and you finally understand the meaning behind all his teasing smiles and kind words.
Tags: Aventurine x Reader, High School AU, Photography, Fluff, Slow Burn, Prom, Confession, Happy Ending.
A/N: YESSS OMGGG!!! 🤭🤭💖💖💖🫶🫶🫶
(Part 1)
The weeks flew by in a blur of exams, yearbook deadlines, and laughter shared in fleeting glances across crowded hallways. Somehow, in that whirlwind of senior year, Aventurine found himself gravitating toward you, camera in hand, searching the halls for that familiar smile that had changed something in him.
But if he was honest, his task had shifted entirely. It wasn’t just about “Moments of Joy” anymore—it was about catching you in them. And in those quiet moments, camera in hand, he’d tried everything to catch your attention beyond a quick hello or a compliment here and there, but you seemed blissfully unaware of his growing affections. Every subtle remark, every teasing smile, fell on oblivious ears, and it drove him to the edge of exasperation.
It was at the final prom of the year, under the soft glow of string lights and drifting confetti, that Aventurine decided enough was enough. The night was buzzing with the energy of finality—the last dance, the last night they’d all share as students. He’d tried to keep his usual calm demeanor, but his heart wouldn’t listen. Tonight, he’d do what he’d never done before—lay his cards on the table.
He spotted you near the edge of the dance floor, laughing with your friends, your attire catching the light with every turn, your smile as dazzling as ever. His heart sped up at the sight, but he squared his shoulders and strode over, his mind set.
"Hey, can I have this dance?" he asked, voice low, barely hiding the nervous edge beneath his confident tone.
You blinked in surprise but nodded, smiling as you took his hand. “Of course, I didn’t know you danced.”
He smirked, pulling you gently toward the floor. “I don’t. Not really. But I’d make an exception tonight.”
You both swayed together to the slow rhythm, the room fading around you, as if the two of you were the only ones there. He took a deep breath, finally ready to say what he’d been holding back all this time.
“I’ve been trying to tell you something for a while,” he began, searching for the right words. “But I don’t think you’ve quite noticed.”
You looked up at him, confused but curious. “Tell me what?”
Aventurine’s hand on your waist tightened slightly, steadying himself as he met your eyes, every practiced line he’d rehearsed over and over vanishing in the moment. “I think I… I like you. More than I’ve ever liked anyone.”
The realization dawned in your eyes, your expression softening as a hint of pink dusted your cheeks. “Wait… that’s what all those random compliments and photos were for?”
He chuckled, a little embarrassed. “Yes. Apparently, I’m not very good at this,” he admitted, laughing softly. “I was hoping you’d notice, but it seems I underestimated how… unaware you could be.”
You laughed, a sweet, gentle sound that made his heart swell. “I thought you were just being friendly, but now it all makes sense.”
There was a pause as you looked at each other, and he felt a warmth, a quiet acceptance, radiating from your gaze. The music faded in the background as he leaned a little closer, his heart pounding with both fear and excitement. “So… would you consider giving me a shot?”
You smiled, stepping a little closer, and he saw a spark of mischief in your eyes. “Only if you promise to take at least one photo with me for the yearbook.”
His confidence returned in full as he laughed, pulling you closer. “Done. But only if I get to keep a copy.”
With that, he gently brushed his lips against your cheek, sealing the promise of something new between you, something that he hadn’t anticipated—but was ready to risk everything for.
#hsr#honkai star rail#x reader#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#hsr aventurine#aventurine x reader#aventurine x you#hsr aventurine x reader#fluff#high school au#photography#slow burn#prom#confession#happy ending
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🏒 the deal 🎶 | “Sometimes people sneak up on you and suddenly you don't know how you ever lived without them.”
HAPPY BIRTHDAY @youwerenevermine! 🥳🥰😘🤗🎂🎈🎊🎁 Okay fine whatever so I am a few hours your time early, but I was so excited to share and honestly, the world is going to end soon and I wanted to get ahead of the game. I went back and forth over what to do for you and couldn’t decide so went with this. The original hockey boyfriend Mr. Garrett Graham and sassy Hannah Wells! It is Jonerys meets THE DEAL! I hope you like it! So grateful to this fandom for introducing me to you! Love you bby! 😘
There was a very strong possibility Jon Snow had made a terrible mistake making this deal with Daenerys Targaryen. He figured it was easy enough; she was a smarty pants and could help him get his grade up in what was supposed to be an "easy A" philosophy class and keep him from getting benched. In doing so, he'd pretend to date her and the guy she had a crush on-- fucking Robb, his own damn cousin-- would see her as a bit more than weird silver-haired purple-eyed Dany and want to ask her out. Since Robb wanted anything he couldn't have-- particularly if Jon had it first.
Now he was watching Robb openly flirt with her and was squeezing his beer bottle so hard he figured he'd be benched not for his shitty philosophy grade but for having to get stitches in his stick hand. It was supposed to be an easy quid-pro-quo. A deal. Started off more annoying than anything else-- Dany could not have cared one single snowflake that he was Queen Alysanne University's star left winger and frequently let him know it. He honestly appreciated it, even if he had to really wear her down, chasing her all over Winterfell to get her to concede.
That had honestly been fun. Then there were their random long conversations after studying. Topics ranged from the best pizza toppings-- pepperoni and more pepperoni for him, while she saw nothing wrong with pineapple on her pizza-- to the best Marvel movie-- he didn't mind that movie about 'The Eternals' while she thought it sucked and liked 'Ant Man' more, all the way over to which House of Commons member should win the two highly competitive ridings near Winterfell or who really won the War of Five Kings?
He also had admitted to her some things he'd never shared with anyone. That he might be the aloof "Ice Man" of QAU hockey who could get any girl he wanted, he actually played that image outside of his truly private life. In reality he just couldn't think of girls, he was too busy trying to do his best to keep his grades up to get a very difficult degree in metallurgy and cultural anthropology while also making sure he didn't lose his rookie contract with the Winterfell Wolves professional hockey team.
Just like he knew all she wanted was to get the bonus money from the School of Drama and Music's winter showcase to help with her mother's medical bills, back in Pentos. That her dream was to sing on stage at the King's Landing Opera House.
All of that swam in his head, those conversations and late nights, sitting out in the quad on a blanket while she quizzed him on long dead Maesters, or that time she'd come to one of his games and he'd scored a hat trick, so she ahd to come to every singel one afterward.
He had done his job; he talked her up to Robb. He lingered in the living room of his and Robb's shared house when they would talk, just in case there needed to be extra prodding. Now they were on a bloody, fucking date.
"Jon, buddy, let go of the beer. The beer didn't do anything to you. Come on man, there you go." His friend and other roommate, Satin, carefully pried his fingers off the glass neck, moving the bottle to the oak bartop. "Alright, so when are you going to tell her?"
"Huh?" He was now glaring at the back of Robb's stupid auburn head, wondering if he could cut off those fucking curls while he was sleeping and blame their fourth roommate Theon. "Tell her what?"
"That you're in love with her, you dipshit."
Thank the gods he wasn't holding the beer bottle because he'd have definitely dropped it. He also was glad he didn't have any beer in his mouth, because that would have been sputtered everywhere as he gaped at Satin, who was now studying his fingernails nonchalantly. "Wha...what...I'm not....she's a friend! She wasn't just a friend, she was...Dany.
Dany, whose first words to him were: "I'm sorry do I know you?"
Dany, who always tied her long silver braids up on her head in a knot using pencils. Who hummed random song llyrics and chords and scribbled them on ltitle pieces of paper. Who had a voice that sounded like fucking angels from teh rafters. Who snorted and cackled when she laughed. Who called him "Wolf Man" instead of "Ice Man" because he had a wolf back home and one tattooed on his arm.
Dany....Dany who always smelled like lemons and lavender and who...
He blinked. It was like seeing everything under a different filter. Brighter. Across the bar, he watched Dany laugh at something Robb said, but it didn’t meet her eyes. She was playing with the silver guitar pick she used, something he had learned was a nervous habit. Her eyes— vibrant, happy lavender— did not fully meet his, but he knew she had glanced his way.
Gods. Was he in love with her? Was that what this feeling was? He couldn’t love her. He had to focus on hockey and studying and…it was just easier to keep that other side of him out there. If Jon Snow actually found a girl…a music major who didn’t know a deke from a slapshot and thought there were quarters not periods…he’d never hear the end of it.
He didn’t care. He didn’t want her with Robb. “And why is that?” Satin asked.
Fuck he said that out loud? “Because she’s mine,” he snapped. He paused. “No she is her own person of course I don’t own her obviously but…” He drained the beer bottle. This was one thing Robb was not going to steal from him. He stomped over to their table and didn’t even wait for his cousin to say anything before he glanced at Dany. “Get your coat, we still have to finish that Agatha show.”
She cocked her head up, confused. “Jon what…”
“Come on.”
“Jon,” Robb began, but he didn’t even have time to finish. Jon grabbed Dany’s hand, tugging her away and towards the back corridor. “What the seven hells Jon!”
If she wanted to fight him, she could. He’d let her anyway. Dany did not pull very hard and protested over Robb’s loud complaining. “Jon seriously what the fuck are you doing?!” She pushed at his chest when he tugged them into the stairwell that led up to the bar manager office, the dim lighting throwing her face in relief. She was fuming. She was a dragon, he expected it. “What was that!?”
“I want to see something.” He didn’t wait for a response. He had to do this. So he crashed his mouth down over hers.
The shock had her gasping, lips parting under his. Soft, plump, perfect lips, and he pressed gently, his hands dropping to her small waist to hold her upright against the wall. She had her hand on his shoulder and for a second he didn’t think she was going to kiss back and made to pull away, apology at the ready, knowing he had fucked this up completely.
Until her hands dove into his hair and she opened her mouth wider, moaning and pulling him to her. He groaned, desperate now, a man who had his first taste of water after wandering a desert, and cupped her jaw, angling her head so he could rise over her, sliding his tongue along hers. Gods. She tasted like strawberries. How!? One of life’s mysteries, he supposed.
The need for air separated them, their breathing ragged and foreheads touching, noses brushing. Her gaze lifted, meeting his. “I take it you don’t think I should see Robb?”
He shook his head, whispering, “Come home with me. I’ll make you a deal.”
“And what’s that?”
He kissed her again, nipping her bottom lip. Her breasts were pressed to his chest and his knee had wedged itself between hers. They were about ten seconds away from a public indecency charge. His voice dropped, gravelly. “You come home with me and I’ll make you come within ten minutes. Five, even.”
Her cheeks flushed pink. “And what do you get out of this deal?” she asked.
He pretended to think, before flashing a grin. “The knowledge I made you come. Oh and, our next movie night you don’t wear underwear.”
She smirked now. “I am not one of your puck bunnies.”
“And you know I don’t do puck bunnies.”
After a second, she barely nodded. “Alright. Let’s see what you’ve got Wolf Man.”
“So it’s a deal then Targy?” She hated that nickname. The glare she shot him had him grinning.
She pulled at his hand, towards the back exit. “It’s a deal.”
#jonerys#jonerys au#my fics#my moodboards#HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIKA!!!! 🎂 🎁 🎉 🎈🥳🥰😘#the deal au#jonerys meets Garrett x Hannah#hockey Jon!#singer Dany!#Jonerys Drabble
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the infamous 'last sighting of a barbary lion in the wild' photo taken by marcelin flandrin (1925) haunts me to my core. there's something so achingly poetic about it.
#this is so random for me but i saw this the other night and it genuinley hasnt left my brain#there's a lot of debate around this subspecies and whether they are#extinct or w/e#hence my wording BUT#this photo and that kinda ....... 'last one in the wild' fact has sTUCK with me#so small. in the space. so alone. walking away. leaving their prints behind.#it honestly nearly moves me to tears if i think about it too much#straight up put this in my drafts last night and now it makes me TOO emotional
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Watching monsters inside me be like
#i put it on tbe other night to help me fall asleep but im so invested#in the knowledge of how we are at the whim of random tiny creatures#outright microscopic ones#i saw an ep or two of this show when i was a kid and was left with fears over parasites#but it was a very vague understanding of the creatures.#im like wendy williams with the killer except its the Parasite
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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girls will say they’re tough shit until 7 by catfish and the bottlemen comes on
#AND ID BEG YOU BUT YOU KNOW IM NEVER HOMEEEEE AND I LOVE YOU BUT I NEED ANOTHER YEAR ALONE#literally made a whole playlist based around the specific feeling this song evokes#like is it really a sad song or is it just one of the bands you listened to religiously as a pre-teen with friends you no longer talk to#specifically this band bc they were only active for a few years before breaking up and my friendship group was OBSESSED w them#i saw them live and everything and all my big memories from the ages like 14-16 remind me of this band and vice versa#im nostalgic for what was probably one of the worst times of my life. fucking hell#would i go back there? no. do i miss what we had? a little#what's the stand by me quote. does anyone ever have better friends than the ones they had when they were twelve. or smthn#that for pre-teen girls. the other night i spent over an hour going through old snapchat memories#'seshes' babies 😭 but the vibes were so real#actually there's one girl that i was best mates with that i have an INSANE storytime about now lmao like it was so fucking random 😭#catfish and the bottlemen#song rec
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Went to the bookstore today and asked about their mythology section and this frickin guy had the gall to be like "Yeah it's over here, but these are really dense and difficult so let me show you the children's mythology section." I was so baffled I didn't say anything. Normally I would've been very offended, but I couldn't help but laugh because I was like "I've been reading those massive textbook-esque mythology books since I was a literal child as research for my novel, sir. But sure, show me the kid's section, I like reading kids' books too."
#i talk#I genuinely think he just phrased it really badly and was just being stupid#which is the ONLY reason I was like ''yeah alright I'll let you live''#but I was very amused by that entire interaction#Went up to the register later and he got excited over some of the audiobooks I chose and we had a nice chat about that#I saw he was reading a BNHA comic which surprised me (especially after his previous comment)#and I told him I heard it ended recently and he said he was glad to hear that since so many comics he read as a kid just went on and on#and never ended#I think I've reached that age where I'm just like#''I can recognize you're not being an asshole you were just a bit stupid. Bless your soul''#Coincidentally the big textbook section was right in front of the checkout counter#which was funny because I DID just sit there and flip through a bunch of things for almost half an hour#That reminds me I really do need to read 100 and one nights (Arabian Knights) sometime. That's like the one Big one I've never read#Beowulf too that's the other big one#I just need to find really good audiobook versions of them. I can't sit down and read anymore#Another interesting moment from that same bookstore:#I overheard that dude and his coworker / boss talking with an older guy#and the guy said he was a psychic or something#and the bookstore guy was like ''Can I ask you a question then? I am going to judge you for it if you get it wrong though''#pftt#it was all very lighthearted but I was just like yeah that's my city alright#I miss seeing those random interactions and random moments
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Do you like hedgehogs?
I do! I love hedgehogs.
#animal ask#i love all animals#i saw a snake other day#it was extremely tough not to pet her#she was a baby#maybe i could have befriended her....#also saw several herons#many ducks#a lizard#some cool ass birds#haven't seen a hedgehog in a while#i miss them they're so cute#there's one in the park#and sometimes i would be in the park for free wifi reasons#so i would be sitting on the bench#and the hedgehog would walk up to me#and then bump into my leg repeatedly#like it wanted me to go away#i would sit still and just try to muffle laughter#a tiny hedgehog stubbornly trying to move me#is just the most adorable experience#i love her#also this would happen in the middle of the night#so its possible hedgehog did not register me at all#and thought it was just some random obstacle
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Getting into stuff that has a lot of pre-announced release dates is really good for me like vocal synthesizer products and new love live etc franchise music releases....I'll be lying in bed at like 2 AM with ur usual 20-something's fear and existentialism over time and the future and then I'll remember a piece of singing software or a new song related to cartoon characters I like is gonna come out like next month and I'm like 😌
#this keeps happening to me with the upcoming december#miki and kiyoteru sv.....im so excited...if they get delayed ill scream#jk jk ill be fine but i do hope we get some demos in November soon!#soyogi still doesnt have a concrete release date but hes also probably december#now if HE gets delayed i will actually explode. i will spontaneously burst into flames#the other night i had a dream about aivoice2 ryuusei coming out. which is a normal thing to happen#it literally was just like i went online and saw videos people made with him SHDBFBSJFNFN#premonition dream...this is what will happen in november#but it reminded me i wasnt as familiar with how aiv2 sounds with a2sync. i like the aiv1 kotonosync situation#BUT it is very noisy and the vocals usually sound like lalavoice with the slightly obvious looping#which is charming but not as versatile in the grand scheme of talk synths made to sing#just the nature of it. but a2sync sounds FANTASTIC i was really shocked. im curious how his#particularly deep voice will sound compared to a more medium gentle tone like iori but im excited#im really curious how he'll sound compared to vv humming ryuusei#now what weve seen of his design.....im not suuuper into quite yet. its not BAD and well see when its fully out#but i dont care for the blue hair bits. im picky about hair dye in alternate designs#i like his gray black default situation too much. also i DO like how slutty his design is looking#but also it might look um. a little too much for a talk synth? like brother whats going on here#why are u so dressed up to chat ....i guess for fun#then again his aiv1 design was also probably more appropriate for singing synths rather than talking But I like that one more LOL#doesnt matter too much for me though im more interested in the unofficial singing side stuff AHDBFHSHFBDJJD#which also reminds me i hope someday aiv1 vy series can get a aiv2 update#a full singing synth would be nicer but i wouldnt mind a talk turned singing synth. i know everyone hates the aiv vy designs#i dont hate them theyre not great but theyre fine for talk synths. i think nancy is hilarious. white woman jumpscare#im not a huge fan of the main fanon vy designs (theyre good but they dont fit to me) so i dont mind the aiv ones#even if its just two random people SHBFJFAJFJFJSJJF but yeah i hope they get a aiv2 someday#i think it would be fun to make em sing with a2sync hee hee#also on the ll end i am so excited for dia birthday album end of dec#AND all the new liella tunes. i still havent watched the new season because i havent been able to sit down and enjoy it yet#but soon....next week ill have time...sooooooon
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“She had no magic to wield, save for the keen eyes of the goddess at her shoulder and an uncanny ability to remain unnoticed, to play into expectations.”
#Chapter 23#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Lorcan Salvaterre#Elide Lochan#Elorcan#no spoilers please first read to read along with me#more notes quotes annotations & reacts in the tags spoilers for the chapter & book in post & tags of course pt 2 of 4 perspectives#Lorcan had never felt the weight of the hours so heavily upon him-I FEEL IT 2poor Rowan must feel this 247HURRY where’s Elide?hold on Aelin!#And to send Elide into Maeve's clutches--it had taken all of his will to let her walk away.😭#If Elide was captured if she was found out he wouldn't hear of it know of it. — you’d know cause she’s your mate idiot (I love you idiot#without proving their worth they could still visit--briefly. — ugh Maeve why does everything about you suck so much#If she emerged. — COME ON ELIDE — I CANT HANDLE ANOTHER CAIRN-NAPPING#the Prince of the North and the Lion the protector and the ever impatient in love idiot we all love Lorcan#He knew some of them. Had commanded them. Were they now his enemy? — they are all having some inner morality battles#What manner of birds? Raptors mostly — none from the House of Whitethorn — they fought for him on the other borders… for her🥹😭them#why so many guards if no Aelin hmm???? SHES HERE GUYS#though Gavriel kept glancing to the tattoos inked on his hands. How many more lives would he need to add before they were through?#Aelin had been trained to endure torture. Elide... He could see those scars on her from the shackles. — how about we save them both?😭🖤#She had endured too much suffering and terror already. He couldn't allow her to face another heartbeat of it--#Rowan and his random hatchet now😅😂 it’s giving my wife is gone unhinged in the woods with the bros might become a horror movie vibes#But then a two-note whistle echoed and Lorcan's legs wobbled so violently he sat back onto the rock where he'd been perched-OH MY ELORCAN😭🖤#also Lorcan… perched??? isn’t that bird boy Rowan’s thing?😅😂🤣#her cheeks rosy in the cool night air. — cheeks pink in the twinkling lights tell me bout the first time you saw me (shipping in insanity)#She was fine. She was unhurt. There was no enemy on her tail. Elide's eyes met his. Wary and uncertain. I met someone.#THANK GOD — but also wait WHAT-when?WHO?HOW?#also this quote posted is like one of the reasons I love Elide#another grand Maasverse enterance is on its way?#the fact the opening line shows that being sold out to Maeve is the same as death — OH GET TO AELIN ALREADY PLEASE#no more tattoos guys — what’s with Maeve’s wolves — isn’t dark haired beauty what Elide called the girl in the caravan so maybe it’s her
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posts this image again
#was literally collpasing from sleepiness when i was posting abotu this last night could barely keep my eyes open so i forgot a few points#i wanted to make#1. i think the gore in this got me cause uh. not watching old movies i dont have a tolerance to special effects gore yet#like ffffuxking uhhhh cgi gore like in nbc hannibal and shit. fucking nothing. ease.#but fucking PRACTICAL EFFECTS GORE??? ehmmmmm 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮#NASTY#also because of my own weird trauma such random things trigger me like the excessive chest pounding#idk what its called the rescucitation thing where you push down on someone's chest trying to get their heart going#the fuck is it called omg#that shit makes me so fucking uncomfortable literally my chest hurts just thinking about it ouuchh#TWO.#who the fuck thinks this movie is funny#i saw it everywhere ahhhhhhgh cult classic mixing horror and comedy ahh its so funnt#i like lightly chuckled one when herbert kept snapping the pencils during hills lecture#WHAT WERE THE OTHER FUNNY PARTS??#sorry not trying to be a little hater i just dont undertsamd ahghhhhh#re animator#horror#blood#sir i protest i am not a merry man
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Something about being with people and seeing the wonders of the world. The joy as you gape at them, and the get to watch other people be shocked too. When they show you their favorite parts and teach you. And when you get to marvel in silence and realize that this is living. If I could, I’d light up the sky every night so that we could gaze in wonder for hours and be satisfied with the other’s presence.
#my random stuff#delete later#In other words my dad showed me a new constellation.#I also saw Venus!#We live in a place with a lot of pollution so it’s nice to be able to see the night sky.
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So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.
I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.
People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.
I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.
I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.
I want you to keep all that in mind.
So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"
My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.
Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.
When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.
"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"
I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.
Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.
When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.
It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.
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god why was i so incredibly dumb to let slip to someone that i had a blog on tumblr and now they're determined to find it
#like i couldn't tell if they were joking or not#and nobody i know irl's supposed to see any of this#and i'm probably increasing chances already by making this post but yeah it wouldn't be the worst person or something it'd just be awkward#or not idk but i feel like i'll always have this in the back of my mind now when i post#(maybe i should change my blog settings so that people without a login can't see this blog? am i overreacting?)#also the way i'm so totally normal about old men yaoi on both my blogs :'D#(but apparently we also have some local stuff happening and i only know because someone who saw it told someone who told me)#but yeah weird thoughts and stuff and ✨anxiety✨ and also i'm tired bc i didn't sleep much last night due to incredible random pain#and then i had to cancel my city trip for a project where half of the people didn't show up due to “not up for it” (while still in pain)#so yeah i'm probably gonna explode later or something#or go to bed i haven't decided yet or maybe even continue blogging like nothing happened because other people have better things to do than#go through the internet looking for my stupid blogs#aarrrgghh the thought train is rolling#sorry for the outbreak#stuff
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I may not be good at doing much with activism cause I'm still getting my own shit together, but I'll tell you I remember stuff
Slips my mind more than I like, but I don't forget what's happened to Iranians, to Syrians, I don't forget the Hong Kong protests
I remember how it was, I refuse to follow a new narrative when I was there watching across an ocean
As an American I think I have an obligation to support people fighting for their freedom... kinda one of the things about the American identity that's supposed to mean something, the idea you're supposed to support everyone everywhere in being able to choose how to live their life
So I won't forget what the Iranian government's done, I won't ever let them pretend to be moral after I watched them with blood on their hands, their so called morality police brutalizing people just trying to live, and then fighting to be free
I may not be able to do much, probably don't do as much as I could or should, but I'll never forget and when it's called for I'll never forgive either
Can't follow all the horror in the world, hell, I can hardly keep up with Haiti or Sudan who both deserve support
But I do pay attention, I do see some of what happens, I won't forget and I won't let people feed me a new version of what I've seen
#i was thinking about other less serious but still serious stuff#think cultural issues rather than human rights issues#but i was thinking about things that have happened; that i watched first hand#and how... people just have this new version of them#they take the word of a random tumblr user over people who were there#and there rewrite stuff#fine... i can't force you to listen#but... i won't forget#and the places the details get fuzzy at least I'm honest#at least i say 'I'd have to do some research on what happened'#like i know the broad strokes of when the Night in the Wood's dev killed himself#but I'm forgetting a couple details that... really don't matter#but i had my ear to the ground; you won't make me forget this stuff#big or small; i keep this stuff in mind#you people (broad general gesturing at the world) love lying about shit i was there for#and people gobble up these narratives#but fuck you; i saw what i saw#not gonna say other people didn't see what they saw too#but... i think some people are spinning some bullshit cause they were spinning it at the time#just like now it seems people are spinning bullshit around these attacks#trying to rewrite history like those brutal crackdowns on protests didn't happen#protests over police murdering an innocent woman for existing#I've seen stuff; at least i cite what i saw and moot second hand tumblr posts#was on my mind already; seeing that post just... made me think in other contexts#please stop fucking swallowing whatever some tumblr user said#I'm begging you; i adore you; i don't think you read my tags#please stop falling for this stuff; your so smart and caring#please stop worrying about your past and fearing falling out of step with the crowd#think for yourself on this stuff; be critical; your so good; please be critical#mm tag so i can find things later
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I can't stop thinking about Ghost being such a gentleman when your boyfriend is an ass....
warning: domestic abuse, adult language
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You were mortified that it happened at work this time...
Your boyfriend was a brute of a man, made worse over the months by drinking alone at night while you bartended to help pay down your student debts from several years ago. He got a little rough with you, but only when he was plastered. And you forgave him, because he was decent the rest of the time.
But suddenly you had to start coming to the pub to pull pints with a little extra makeup on your face. The random patrons out for a casual drink wouldn't have noticed, but your regular boys did. You only knew them by Ghost and Soap. They were military and mean looking, but they laughed together like teenage schoolmates. It was always a good night when they sat at the bar, but you could often feel their eyes on you.
"Y' alright, love?" Ghost asked the first night you wore extra eye makeup and a bright red lipstick.
"Yes," you told him, not meeting his eyes. Your face hurt. Your boyfriend had slapped you two days ago. Your skin was puffy and bruised, and you were embarrassed and afraid to move out, so you stayed. "You boys need another round?"
They left you a sizable tip. They always did.
The next time you saw them, your lip was split open, and you were desperate for a way out of the mess your life had turned into. Trying to hide your face while you mixed drinks was a chore, and as soon as Ghost and Soap arrived, you knew it was useless.
When Soap disappeared toward the washrooms, Ghost leaned across the bar, his hulking shoulders taking up more than their fair of space, making you smile slightly. His voice was deep and soft, but his words made you shiver and freeze with your hand on a pint glass. "Y' know, a pretty little thing like you belongs on a pedestal. A man should touch you with reverence."
You stared at him silently as his eyes tracked the mark on your lip. When Soap returned, you didn't charge them a cent for their drink, but they tipped you well anyway.
When a confrontation happened at the bar, tears stung your eyes, and you wanted to hide. Your boyfriend was drunk and angry, and tonight he beckoned you from behind the bar to a dark corner near the hallway where he could have some privacy while he berated you and roughed you up.
"Please," you begged, running your hands nervously on your shirt. "Just go home. I'll be off work in an hour."
"How many of them have you fucked?"
"What?" you gasped, thinking he'd finally lost it. "What are you talking about? I need to get back to work."
He pushed you up against the wall with his other hand on your jaw. "How many of the men here tonight have you fucked?" His thumb brushed the spot on your lip that was nearly healed, and you flinched. "You have the guiltiest expression. So, tell me how much of a slut you've been. As your boyfriend, I need to keep you in line."
Then he was being hauled away from you as your legs shook. With wide eyes, you watched Ghost's massive bicep wrap around his neck like it was nothing. "Y' alright, love?" he asked you softly, and you nodded without saying a word. Then his face darkened, and his voice was an angry snarl as he told your boyfriend, "Ya' been relieved of your duties."
"The fuck?" he responded from his headlock, gasping for air.
Ghost sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fuckin' prick don't even know military protocol." Then he raised his voice a little louder. "I said, ya' been relieved of your duties. I'll take over from here."
Somehow, you found your voice. "Take over?"
Ghost's face softened again when he looked at you there against the narrow hallway wall. "With the boyfriend duties," he told you while Soap dragged your ex-boyfriend toward the exit. "Sound good, love?"
He was holding out his big paw of a hand, palm facing up, and you knew he'd be incapable of using it to hurt you. The softness in his gaze right now and every time he looked at you was proof enough of that. You didn't respond, but you smiled as you slid your hand into his grasp.
"That'll do for now," he grunted.
That was the night you came to know him as Simon.
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Part two
#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley cod#ghost simon riley#simon ghost riley#simon riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley imagine#simon ghost x you#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#ghost imagine#call of duty#ghost riley#call of duty x reader#cod x reader#ghost x reader#ghost x you#ghostsprincess
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