oldmemefucker

[oldmemefucker]

[oldmemefucker]

shoutout to the color red

[oldmemefucker]

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

[oldmemefucker]

Get yourself a fabric store that will light your fabric on fire for you

No but legit I asked what the fiber content of something was and the guy didn’t know so he cut a chunk off and lit it on fire and felt the ashes and was like. Yeah this is mostly cotton with a lil bit of silk. And that was the moment I knew. This is it. This is the fabric store for me. Also that guy is marriage material. Not for me but damn some person is gonna be so happy with him.

[oldmemefucker]

Buck definitely doesn't know how good Eddie was at illegal street fighting or that conversation would have been like "he wasn't just a street fighter he was a champion street fighter. he was the best at it. he made a ton of money."

[oldmemefucker]

Also I had a dream last night that involved the production of a pornographic film, where a cute girl goes to a waxing professional who confirms "um you do know this is exclusively a Wax Your Dick And Balls facility" and she's like "yeah I know :)" and he puts two and two together and that's fine too. Then something else happens and he says that he's closing shop and his girlfriend is getting here soon so they can get home together, how about all three of them go home together? :)

And there's a whole cute happy upbeat montage scene of the three of them on their way back to this couple's place, the sun is shining, they laugh at antics of some pigeons while waiting for the bus, almost Ghibli movie style uplifting piano music playing softly in the background, while these people make their way on their little slice-of-life ordinary adventure.

Then it cuts to someone on the production team explaining this to everyone else involved in the film, enthusiastically going "yeah that's the point! It's going to be hilarious, making the whole thing such a high quality, high-effort artistic cinema the viewers forget they're watching porn and get whiplash so hard when they just straight-up start fucking."

And then I woke up before they got to that part.

[oldmemefucker]

i do not ghost purposely i just have no idea what to say ever

[oldmemefucker]

Snakes

[oldmemefucker]

[oldmemefucker]

The thing about 911 is that the shipping drama and discourse surrounding it completely belies how insane this show truly is. A man is attacked by a shark on the freeway. Ghosts are probably real, and so are curses. The most recent season opens with a bee-nado that segues into a plotline about an autistic half-orphan child landing a broken plan. The most dramatic moment between the fandom's favorite ship is one of the characters getting shot by a sniper in broad daylight in the suburban streets of Los Angeles. Buck's introductory scene of the entire show is him stealing a firetruck to have sex with a Tinder hookup. The fire captain's backstory is an addiction that led to the death of 148 people. He's best friends with his wife's ex-husband and once proposed to said ex-husband's boyfriend on his behalf while that boyfriend was performing brain surgery on a man in the middle of a burning building. There's a guy who sneezes every time he lies and then lies so hard he almost dies. One of the main characters gets rebar impaled through his skull and is back to work the next month with no lasting side-effects. They basically never fight fires.

[oldmemefucker]

this website is too fucking easy you make a post about transgender gay sex or the skull and people black out and hit reblog

[oldmemefucker]

hey in case you didn't know trans inclusive terminology in healthcare is not about protecting peoples feelings, it's to stop insurance companies from going "well it says here that hysterectomies are a procedure performed on WOMEN and you keep insisting that you're a MAN so we do not in fact have to cover that have a nice day and eat shit"

[oldmemefucker]

[oldmemefucker]

buck genuinely being like wait 😄 competition with who 😄 is so fucking funny bc like. babe. u have ONE FRIEND.

[oldmemefucker]

I love how Buck’s argument after being accused of being in love with Eddie is: this isn’t his house, he’s straight, and either he has feelings for him or he wants to sleep with him.

[oldmemefucker]

passenger princess eddie diaz who also change a tire on buck's car by himself in record time so their date night is not ruined. the man can do it all.

[oldmemefucker]