#it’s the reason I don’t really go with specific labels anymore

[totally-sapphic-posts]

I can’t wait for the day I can just exist. It’s probably just because I only admitted I was sapphic this year, but, I still find myself repeatedly kinda pushing myself in and out of the closet. Maybe I really don’t want this, maybe it’s only this, blah blah blah. I can’t wait to just exist- to be in equilibrium as myself without pushing myself from one box or one rule to the other. It’ll probably never fully ever go away, but…. I can hope.

I feel this and relate to this so intensely.

Just let yourself be. Be kind to yourself. Don’t force yourself anywhere. Do what feels right for you, not what others say is right for you. You know you best.

[dinocanid]

If you read Xem's post, you will see that she states you should know the basics about that animal before confirming it. You should know that a wolf is a canine that is a pack hunter that lives mostly in the northern hemisphere. That they howl and usually hunt deer or some deer relative. The have fur and are pursuit predators. Those are the basics. No one except you and your friends said you're only a real wolf therian if you can name top ten unusual facts about wolves. How can someone confirm a wolf if they do not know what a wolf is? You yourself said that you differ from wild wolf behaviours. So you know you're not a wild wolf because of that. But twist words and play the victim I guess.

The OP claimed, very blatantly, that if you make a mistake about some species fact that someone else considers "basic knowledge" then they shouldn't be allowed to identify as that species anymore and should be gatekept from the label. Said basic knowledge included very common and easy-to-make mistakes. Someone can identify as a hyena without knowing at first they are feliforms and not caniforms, the OP said that they can't. Someone can identify as a wolfdog or a leopard, and mistake a wolfdog for a husky mix or a jaguar for a leopard in a photo. That happens, they can look very similar to each other. Idk how to explain that a hyena looks like a dog(canine), just like a thylacine looks like a dog. You can go most of your life before finding out the former is related to cats and the latter is related to kangaroos. You can put a leopard and a jaguar next to each other and it is difficult as hell to tell the difference a lot of times. Not all wolfdogs look like wolves, some just look like dogs especially if they're low content. Some dogs just look like wolfdogs or wolves without being wolf hybrids. See: the pile of movies and shows with "wolves" in it (it's wolf-like dogs being casted as wolves, lots of people don't notice). It's not common knowledge, it's fun facts you might stumble across in a "10 Things You Didn't Know About These Strange Animals" YouTube compilation at 3am.

The OP was stating very clearly that your identity becomes invalid the moment you fail a game of spot-the-difference. The OP post is capped off with:

"So yeah. You should know a lot about the animal you claim to be. If not? Don’t claim it."

I'm gonna be blunt that the OP had one of the most rancid takes I'd seen in a while. Knowing the creature exists was not stated anywhere in the post to be enough, you have to "know a lot".

Someone might not know that animal's realistic behaviors, or where they all live geologically, or what all of their body language means. Someone can know their theriotype before they figure out that later stuff, it's happened all the time and continues to happen. This also isn't covering non-earthly animal identities and how you can't even do ecological research on those. Someone can't go on wikipedia and read up on the ecology of their specific dragon species that has zero record of ever existing. Plenty of those with non-earthly animal identities are not less real as a result, it is an absolute buckwild take that earthly animal identities are somehow different with a higher bar of entry. That's not even mentioning people that identify as earthly animals with unrealistic ecology, because that's also a thing.

For the second part of your ask, I'm guessing you're referring to this recent one. You missed this entire chunk of the post:

"...I do not know most things about wolves off the top of my head. Don't ask me anything about wolf ecology outside the bare basics, I couldn't tell you. When I was really young I thought my nonhuman identity was a dog until one day I had the epiphany that I was actually a wolf. I didn't have to bury my head in research to figure that out, I just knew for not much reason. Any information on wolves I know today is stuff I picked up here and there over the years, independent of my identity"

To condense all of that into something shorter: I just knew I was a wolf before I knew much of anything about wolves. I didn't know I wasn't a wild wolf because I know a lot about wild wolf behavior. I genuinely don't know how that conclusion was drawn after reading that.

"Wolves are canines that live in packs and eat deer" isn't research, that's "I watched a movie once that had wolves in it", which is honestly the extent of what a lot of people know about wolves unless they're invested or something. That's not enough according to the OP, and if that's not what was meant then the entirety of the post was worded extremely poorly.

And this last part isn't related to anon, but I've seen a lot of responses since yesterday about "but why is research bad"? No one has said that it was, and I scroll the alterhuman tags almost daily. That's not something people are arguing. The point isn't "research bad, grr learning about animals sucks", the point is that this discourse is old. Like, old as hell. We're not gatekeeping nonhuman identities based on if you "know a lot" going in. We're not going to claim someone isn't a "real therian" if they get one thing wrong about their theriotype.

Let's say that someone is a leopard therian and posts a picture of a jaguar in some moodboard or something. You know the decent thing to do? You might let them know one of the photos is actually a jaguar, which will usually get you a "oh huh, thanks. didn't catch that". At no point do you suddenly have imply they aren't a "real" leopard therian. You can ask if they've maybe considered jaguars, but they are fully able to respond "yeah but no, I'm a leopard". And that's fine. Someone can be a hyena therian, accidentally say that hyenas are canines. It is absolutely fine and possible to say that hyenas are feliforms without pointing fingers and going "you're not a real hyena, because real hyenas would've known that already".

It's not 2012 anymore, we've grown past this. It is the strangest thing ever to see in the year two-thousand-twenty-four.

[anamericangirl]

Hey, Project 2025 anon.

It took me a while to find more unbiased sources (and get through some of the document itself because whoa it really is that long) since all of the results are bloated with leftist fear-mongering. I didn't notice that when I first looked it up. The left really are the only ones talking about it.

When I first looked into it (right after my friend mentioned it to me), I noticed that it was also labeled as a collection of "proposals"...which literally means nothing. Proposals aren't finite and it was one of the first indicators to me that people were freaking out for no reason. In summaries, I found *maybe* one or two things I didn't fully agree with, but because I don't believe our rights are being taken away, I don't really care.

Also, this thing has been around since 2022 and there hasn't been much uproar until now. (Granted, I didn't know about it until recently either). You'd think that if it was such a threat that leftists/politicians would have brought attention to it when it's been there for nearly three years, instead of waiting until when supposed doom is literally right around the corner.

What a coincidence, almost like there's an election coming up or something. But what do I know?

I haven't been able to get through to my friend. She's completely locked in and by now I'm just worried for her mental health because she's essentially tormenting herself for no reason. Regardless, thank you for your response yesterday. It helped a lot. I suppose my anxiety just makes me easily susceptible to others' nerves LOL.

P.S. Kind of unrelated, but I've been getting Harris ads about abortion rights that say, "The government has no right to tell women what they can and can't do with their bodies." Suddenly now the left knows what a woman is (we're not "bleeders" and "birthing people" anymore y'all!) and is against government overreach? LMFAO. I also find it interesting that I haven't gotten a single campaign ad about Project 2025, unless it's specifically focused on abortion. You'd think that if they cared about how "everyone's" rights are going to be taken away, they'd be focusing on more topics than just abortion. But abortion and just parroting, "Our rights are going to be taken away under Project 2025!" without elaborating is the best they can do, I guess.

Exactly 👍 the left just thinks if they say “Project 2025” enough it will scare people into voting for them which unfortunately is true in a lot of cases but Project 2025 is, as you saw, nothing more than policy proposals from the Heritage Foundation that have been around for a couple of years now and have nothing to do with anyone’s presidential campaign.

And like, I don’t know everything that’s in Project 2025 because I’m not about to sit there and read a 900 page document but also I don’t care what’s in it because it’s irrelevant. I know none of the leftists crying about it have read a single page so I just assume they are wrong about whatever they claim is in it lol

And for a plan that’s supposed to take all of our rights away it’s funny the only one they’re crying about is abortion which is the one “right” they say is at stake every election.

But yes they always seem to remember what a woman is every time abortion comes up for some reason 🤔

[help-itrappedmyself]

DC trans week day 3

Prompt: Non-binary. Coming out discussion!

tw: for what could be slight transphobia, just in case

~~~~~

“Society doesn’t care what you want. You have to decide what you want and what you’re willing to do for it.” Kon tells him. "Society doesn't care about you, so don't let it dictate your life."

“That’s great, when it comes to things like world peace or whatever. But sometimes it’s hard to muster up that much fight just for yourself. Just little you against all of society’s expectations. Against the fear of judgment cast down by family and friends. I grew up knowing that I couldn’t tell my parents. At this point, I guess I’m just resigned. I’m used to living this way, It’s fine now.” He waves him off, turning away, but Kon flies around so he’s in front of him again.

“Tim, you know you deserve to fight for yourself too. We’ll fight with you.”

“This would be me going against everything I’ve been told since I was a child. I know what I was born into, what expectations people have of me. I’ve lived through society yelling and shoving me into a box. Telling me their constant opinions through tabloids and press. My parents telling me what I am, how to be, what I should be doing, how I should be dressing. They told me exactly how to appear to the world and they expected it. This is not something to be public with, it's private. I’ve long since learned, how you act in public and how you are in private are two separate things. It’s not a battle that needs to be fought, especially not one I need to force anyone else into.”

“Your parents shouldn’t have done that. But they’re not even here anymore, and you know that we don’t care! I mean, half of us are gay anyways. None of us would care how you identify. They would care that you’re keeping things from us, hiding such a big part of yourself for no reason!”

“Even those accepting of otherness sometimes don’t understand the answer ‘I don’t know’ or, even worse, ‘multiple of these things’. The world is binary, black and white. People don’t understand when they tell you to choose and not only do you not ‘choose’ but the answer is somehow ‘all of the above’. Even you, now, telling me it’s fine to ‘come out’. Come out as what? Unsure? Some secret third option, but not even I know what that is?”

“Sure, if that’s how you feel.” Kon is too calm about this, Tim feels. But he has run his anger and frustration dry and now just feels like crying. Or sleeping. Or crying himself to sleep. “Start with me. What pronouns do you want? Do you have a term or a label that you feel fits you, or do you prefer to go without labels?”

Tim huffs. Falls to the ground cross-legged. Kon comes over and sits down next to him. “Non-binary, I guess. Can’t really get more specific than that.” 

“Pronouns?” Kon encouraged after a moment of silence.

Tim just shrugs. “None of them, all of them. Honestly, they annoy me because the whole point of pronouns is to talk about someone while they’re not there. Just use my name.”

“Name it is then.” Kon nudged Tim with his shoulder, and Tim slumped against him.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Am I the asshole for wanting to find a different nail salon?

I (25f) don’t often go to nail salons anymore due to it being expensive, but also due to bad experiences as of late. Nothing major, just the annoying experience of trying and failing to get what I am paying for.

The Story: Most nail salons around here are Asian run and owned, and genuinely I do not have any problem with that! Idc who runs a business so long as the job is done well and they are nice and all. In the past I’ve not had many issues beyond maybe a language barrier, and ultimately have been very happy with the results! It was worth the money on the rare occasions I went.

Lately though every time I’ve gone to various salons in my area, I’ve struggled to get what I want. I never want any complicated art, which makes it worse that I’m paying $40 or more (plus tip bc I tip well regardless of result) and can’t even get the color I choose from the book. As in, pointing to the exact shade advertised and labeled with a number, confirming it 2-3 times, watching them either bring out a completely different color or one that is labeled right but still not the chosen shade, and trying to correct it before just having to give up bc the wrong color is now on my nails and I might as well accept my fate 😂 I’m really easy-going so I feel bad about getting mad, and after the 5th time trying to correct them, I feel like it’s too much of a bother. The nails will always look nice in the end, but not the exact thing I wanted.

Example being last time I went I chose a dark teal, and the color they brought out was like. Pastel blue. So… it looked fine, but it’s like they didn’t even care to notice the extreme color difference. At the same appointment, my cousin(15) was requesting white tips, and they told her “no, we can’t do that, because your nails aren’t the right color”….????? Like. I don’t even know how that matters. It’s paint. Paint it on the nails lol. It’s not hard! We’re paying for it aren’t we? Why would they refuse to paint a white tip on her nails because the natural color of her nails is “wrong” according to them?

Anyways: where the question comes in is that my mom(48) suggested finding a salon “not run by Asian people”, because she assumes the root of the problem is a language barrier. It could be, and she’s right I guess that it would be easier to communicate what I want to someone who speaks English more fluently. However, my sister(23) got mad at us and said we were being racist about it. To be extremely clear, neither of us said anything beyond mentioning the language barrier, and of course I’ve never treated any worker at any salon poorly no matter what. But, sister says that because we are white and wanting to find a salon not solely Asian-run, that’s racist. My sister is known for being very dramatic and kinda “Fake Woke” about things… but hey, it’s something I worry about too, even if I feel like my reasoning for this is solid.

I’ve been to every salon in the area that I’ve previously had good experiences with, and suddenly it’s a struggle to even get the correct color. I don’t know why this is a problem, or why even after mentioning that it’s wrong multiple times I’m just not listened to. I feel like it’s mostly an issue of just. Bad service. I don’t think it’s racist to want to get what I pay for, especially when it’s as basic as color choice, even if the core issue may be a language barrier. But, I want to open it up to others.

So, am I the asshole for wanting to find a different salon? Specifically one which is run by people who are more fluent in English, for communications sake?

What are these acronyms?

[vulpecular-draconic]

(link to a previous post for context.) 

this past month, i’ve been trying to define what i am. primarily through the lens of “what would i feel comfortable putting in a new intro post?” how do i want to describe myself? what things am i certain about?

i’m definitely alterhuman. besides phantom limbs, i just… don’t have a human-ish relationship with humanity. neither “i am human” nor “i am not human” feels accurate to me, currently. the phrase that feels best is “i am not quite human.” if i met an alterhuman in real life, i think i’d describe myself this way. i’ve tried to conceptualize exactly what the phrase means for me (percentages, metaphors), but anything specific like that feels wrong. it’s just that phrase with no clearer meaning as of yet.

as for ‘types/‘hearts i would feel comfortable putting in a intro post: 

1.) pearl fox, of course

2.) i’ve liked calling myself a monster since i can remember. i hadn’t considered it a kintype before because by the time the idea occurred to me, i was using the label of cryptid, and i thought it would be redundant. but “monster” is more broad, and i’ve liked it for longer (before i even knew about alterhumanity). i think i’m more comfortable introducing myself as a monster than as a cryptid. (unless i am specifically a cryptid that day, ofc.)

3.) similar to monster, i’ve never called myself a shapeshifter, even though i imagine myself as one literally every day and have for years. i avoided saying i was a shapeshifter for two reasons:

i thought of my daydreams as just an ideal reality that could accommodate me being polykin, instead of shapeshifting being an identity in of itself.

i assigned “changeling” to the role of “base identity that encompasses my other identities.” this doesn’t feel correct anymore, as changeling has a specific feeling in a way that shapeshifter doesn’t; it’s less transferable and doesn’t mesh with all the things i can be. (i’ve mentioned before how being a dragon and being a fae/changeling feel incompatible to me for some reason.) i’m still a changeling sometimes (for a couple days last week, in fact) but it doesn’t work as a broader label for me.

now that my identity feels more soupy, i’ve found that calling myself a shapeshifter in an alterhuman way feels amazing. i think the word describes my identity really well — fluid, and implying that i’m never quite human even when i don’t feel like anything else in particular. my soul is a shapeshifter in the same way my soul is genderfluid, i think. another perk is that it doesn’t require a commitment to specific forms/kintypes; the process of trying to kin-firm creatures i knew i was at the moment always kinda stressed me out. i’ve seen a couple shapeshifters in the alterhuman community put their current forms in their intro posts alongside their more permanent ones, and i think that would be very helpful for me.

4.) oh, i’m also definitely still cecil-hearted. i don’t think that’s going anywhere for a while. if i could physically shapeshift, i would absolutely love to shift into my mental image of him every once in a while.

so yeah! expect a new intro post soon-ish with this new info. 

[hayqueen]

❥ THE PROBLEM WITH LABELING EMOTIONS

I really wanna have a talk regarding emotions and how we see/treat them. I don’t think this is really talked about (especially in manifestation community) so I decided to talk on this in my first post.

DISCLAMER: that these are MY opinions and I’m not trying to talk down on anyone who happens to share what I talk about in this blog. I simply personally find this an important component that I want to share and bring some awareness to ♡

That said, my point is;

Your emotions aren’t “good” or “bad”. There’s no such thing as positive or negative emotion.

Yes, you’re HUMAN! Being angry, sad, irritated, hurt etc. is there for a reason and is a very natural and normal response. I know that it’s easy to get lost in this and I actually see it happen often even outside of the manifestation community. I used to label my emotions in such a black and white way too (back when i first found out about manifestation at 14) - it didn’t affect me the best way. All it did was bring me stress and guilt at the time.

I used to feel scared to experience certain emotions by thinking they’re too “low vibrational” (because that’s what LOA coaches i’d watch used to say) - which meant that I was somehow “ruining my manifestation” and that I was “going backwards”. Happiness and satisfaction was all that I should’ve felt at all times, that’s what I understood. Hence why I personally find people telling others that their emotions are either good or bad as pretty unhealthy and concerning. I’ve already seen it have not so great effects on people because it tends to confuse them.

So please, please, please treat yourself with patience and kindness. Understand that any emotion is just emotion - they’re ALL NEUTRAL. Remind yourself that. All emotions are healthy and important; you aren’t meant to beat yourself up for feeling a certain way, that’s not what manifestation is all about either. You don’t deserve to discredit how you feel and bottle it all up. You don’t deserve to abandon yourself because you assigned a negative meaning to something natural that you’re deemed to experience as long as you’re alive. Your emotions are never against you - they’re how your body talks to you. You can’t “ruin” a manifestation with emotions either!

For example: Anger has a bad reputation overall. What if I told you that, at its core, anger is one of those emotions that actually loves you? It’s an emotion that protects you! Anger is your body’s signal that your boundary was crossed; it’s a sign you got disrespected. It’s trying to look out for you.

Therefore labeling your emotions as specifically bad or negative really puts you in a shitty mindset and simply makes living with yourself harder. Why’d you willingly want that? You can’t avoid emotions, you can’t avoid feeling. I learned that the hard way lol. Life events forced to feel my “bad” feelings, I had to learn to embrace the (what seemed like) “darker emotions” and learn to look them in the eye, accept them as a natural part of me and release them. I found another sense of peace within myself as a result. I don’t have to fight myself internally anymore. This is really another way of truly loving yourself. Emotions are part of you and you are supposed to be your best friend. You have to be your safe space, your mind isn’t meant to be your enemy. Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion you have, remind yourself that it’s ok and that it’s normal, it’ll pass. Take some deep breaths and you got this! 🤍

[swordfright]

I want to hear more about Amnesia Island :) what does Dream think Sam is to him? Does he go poking around places he shouldn't? How does their relationship change as Dream starts to remember?

Dream is…puzzled about the nature of their relationship, to say the least. They aren’t married, but they live together and sleep together. So what are they? He asked Sam directly once, which resulted in Sam getting upset and talking in circles for a while; they spent the rest of the day in stony, strained silence. Sam calls himself Dream’s “warden.” That should be enough. Dream doesn’t want to rock the boat; he senses that would be a bad idea. The spell might break.

Because they can’t talk about it, Dream has no choice but to define their relationship in terms of what they do for each other: namely, that Sam keeps him safe and keeps other people safe from him. That last bit is crucial. Sam has repeatedly stressed the importance of keeping people safe from Dream. Sam says that before he lost his memories, Dream was a wicked man — a criminal, in fact! He tells him that Dream is still wicked, that this is the reason for Dream’s unending quarantine. Dream’s afraid to ask what specific evil deeds he wrought upon the world, but judging by the way Sam talks about those days, it must have been ugly. Really ugly. (Sometimes, Dream gets flashes: Black, orange, red. Obsidian, lava, blood. He killed somebody. He knows that, at least.)

The memories don’t come back all at once. First, they come in the form of nightmares. Then, disparate shards of memory that cut through Dream’s daily life (images, smells, sounds) and vanish again before he has a chance to process them. Dream handles this by doing what he always does: he keeps going. He brushes it off for as long as possible. He ignores it until it can no longer be ignored. During this period, Dream’s instinct is to dig his heels in and cling to Sam as tightly as he can. He’s afraid he’s losing his mind, afraid that he’s going to do something bad, something evil, just like his warden warned him about. He defers to Sam in all things, he follows every rule, even the ones he doesn’t understand, the rules he used to push back against in small ways. He needs Sam to know he’ll be good. He’ll do whatever it takes.

When Dream starts to remember in earnest, it does change their dynamic. Before his memories return, Sam’s presence is a source of comfort to him. He trusts Sam with his frail body and his anxious mind and whatever evil impulse lies dormant inside him waiting to hurt people. He trusts Sam completely, even when Sam treats him harshly or, less frequently, with open contempt. During this period, Sam is a reassurance above all else. But once Dream’s memories begin to come back in bulk, Sam’s presence becomes a source of fear and confusion. 

Does Dream go poking around places he shouldn’t? Oh boy does he ever! In fact, the point where Dream begins to suspect something is seriously wrong is when he discovers the Tool Room :) i.e. the storage chamber beneath the island house, only accessible via the secret door and ladder behind the bookshelf as shown in the first 15 minutes of this stream. Dream’s doing some light reading, or maybe a chore (dusting, perhaps?) and accidentally uncovers the hatchway that leads to a long dark tunnel. He enters, climbs down, and discovers a small room that’s mostly empty, save for the item frames on the wall. A suit of armor stands in the corner; Dream feels like it’s watching him as he slowly moves down the row of tools. Each weapon is labeled in Sam’s neat, legible handwriting: Warden’s Will, Warden’s Mercy. The list goes on. Dream doesn’t exactly recognize these items, but suddenly he doesn’t feel so safe anymore. Suddenly his brain is telling him to run, hide. Get out now.

[intoxicatingimmediacy]

A Long Talk With clipping. About CLPPNG

10 years later, Daveed Diggs, Jonathan Snipes, and William Hutson discuss their sophomore album and Sub Pop debut.

[...] In the 10 years since clipping.’s first studio album, CLPPNG, was released with legendary Seattle label Sub Pop, a lot has happened: Donald Trump, #BlackLivesMatter, the pandemic, Hamilton (which might seem out of place in this list, but it was certainly life-changing for Diggs, who suddenly found himself a household name—and not for his rap projects, but for his swaggering, indelible Broadway portrayal of America’s third president, Thomas Jefferson). But despite Diggs’s meteoric rise and clipping.’s growing cult following—despite undergoing the hellscape of the past decade like the rest of us—the beating (or, perhaps, beeping) heart of the trio remains the same: a sheer love for music, experimentation and each other.

[...] I love that you have this philosophy of constraints that’s really generative, but at the same time, you don’t constrain yourself to the constraints, and you’re willing to let them go in service of a song. Where does that philosophy originate for you all?

Snipes: The sweet spot, at least for me, is when the concept is incredibly audible, you know? It’s actually not when we gear the concept with layers and production stuff, it’s when we actually are very, very narrow in how we present it. And there are times where the concept becomes inaudible, when we’ve done all this work and we don’t get credit for it. In those cases, we’re pretty quick to abandon it and just make something that has, like, an aesthetic. But I think the real goal for me when doing this really conceptual stuff—and not all our songs are like this—are creating songs that you hear and you know exactly how they’re working, like “Run For Your Life” or “Get Up.” And it’s still a good song and the process is communicated. It’s like a weird little triumvirate of all these things lighting up. This was true to a degree in “Dream,” too—there are a lot of concepts sort of coexisting in that song. We have field recordings of birds cut into rhythmic loops so that they’re falling on beat; we have these drums re-amped from hundreds of feet away in nature, and I think that’s audible. I think you can tell that that’s happening. And then Daveed is rapping very closely into binaural mics and a dummy head—the idea is, if you listen to it in headphones, it’s like Daveed is literally behind your head, which…sort of works! [laughter]

[...] Misogyny has a long history in rap—and in most music, honestly—and while clipping. plays on those tropes, it often feels carefully constructed, such that it doesn’t ever quite feel like it’s perpetuating them. I’d imagine that’s always a bit of a minefield, though, so how much does that awareness play into your songwriting? Or is it more of a subconscious choice?

Diggs: I think we’re aware of it, or we were certainly aware of it early on—I don’t think about it as much anymore. I used to be really careful about pronouns; there were songs that switched gender pronouns in the middle for no reason. Like, I used to be really specific about this.

Like “Wriggle,” I think—the chorus says “girl” one time and “boy” the next, if I’m remembering correctly.

Diggs: Yeah, “Wriggle” for sure. But even things about a single character, I used to try and sneak those things in just to complicate the issue a little bit more—and also to feed into the initial “no first-person,” the “no central narrative spine” or “human at the center” of these things. I mean, of course it’s clearly my voice rapping it, but I thought maybe, “Oh, if we complicate the gender pronouns a little bit, that might make it more amorphous, might help with that.”

Hutson: We definitely do use misogyny as a trope—as a feature of rap music. It’s deployed in our music in a way that’s, like, referential more than anything else. It feels like there’s scare quotes around it, almost. We started out as a band that played at The Smell and all these places where we knew the people who ran the place, we knew everyone in the audience, we knew all the other bands and they knew exactly who we were. So when Daveed would say “it’s clipping., bitch” at the end of the show, they knew we were sort of jokingly referring to Britney Spears saying that, you know? But once we grew outside of an audience that knew us personally, that knew our politics and felt safe with us, I think we started to use those things less often. We were aware of and worried that people are going to hear us and actually take meaning from it about who we are or might be, and we don’t want to have to go around explaining the use of that word. That word does still appear, but again, it always feels, to me, like it’s in some sort of scare quotes in the songs. I think it’s clear, and we haven’t run into people, like, willfully misinterpreting our deployment of misogyny as anything more than a sonic choice—as something that feels recognizable as rap. Because there are words like that, you know?

[...] Daveed, I think you’ve talked before about how rap is all about partying with the horror—through the horror—of day-to-day miseries, which feels like such a central thematic beat for clipping. The third-person-omniscient perspective of many of the songs on CLPPNG, for instance, allows for both distance and intimacy in a really interesting way. Thinking of, for example, “Inside Out” or “Check the Lock,” although that’s from a later album—those are songs that let us see reality in all its clinical brutality while still highlighting the desperate attempts to party through it. How do you maintain that balancing act of party/horror, of dance music/grim reality?

Diggs: I think horror is maybe too strong of a word, unless we’re talking about our horror records, but I think what rap music is good at is not only refusing to soften the hardness of reality but sometimes exaggerating it too—and then making it into party music. It’s the revelation in the late ‘70s, early ‘80s, that just because you were sampling disco music didn’t mean it had to be “hip hop, hippie to the hippie, the hip, hip a hop, and you don’t stop,” you know what I’m saying? Like, you could tell real life stories on top of danceable beats. That’s the thing that rap music has always been really good at—so we’re just continuing that. Although these are not real life stories, they are doing the same thing. They’re not fun stories, on top of danceable beats.

Hutson: Yeah, they take place in a version of the world as it is. And joy still exists, even though everything looks terribly fucked up.

[...] Final question: Back in 2014, did you think that you would still be doing clipping. 10 years later?

Hutson: I think—well, we expected to still be friends, and we’d been friends for so long before this that I always figured this is a band that will never break up. We can always just make another album when we feel like it. So no, I didn’t think that we were going to be a success. But, I did think that the three of us would hang out and keep doing this, when we had the time, for, really, the rest of our lives.

[alyjojo]

New Year Reading for 2024! 🌟 - Libra

Preshuffle: Your lover could be someone that’s very attractive, charming, a leader of some kind, or someone that gets a lot of attention. It’s why you like them and also why you don’t, because you’re extremely guarded with this fire 🔥 energy, due to things that have hurt in the past. They may be charming, but you find them to be spontaneous, which is fun, and it’s also unreliable. You’re embracing more of Queen/King of Swords energy because of a lack of trust, feeling guarded, protecting yourself from being hurt by some Don/Donna Juan (yes Donna will do 😆) that’s only out for a good time and onto the next thing. Fire tends to care about what THEY want, right now, and get labeled as “selfish” for this reason. Do they intend to be that way, usually no, and they’re often quite generous & loving too, but you’re over here setting boundaries and making sure everything is fair for everyone…and there could be friction there. The Lovers came out for those with this being a lover specifically, but this dynamic could be played out in any other relationship too. This could be someone else with you too, but most of you are the Swords.

Meditation: A very powerful & mysterious meditation, and there’s two sides to this. First, I heard “The House of the Setting Sun”, and your door was literally arguing with me that I can’t go inside, I saw a peek and it was like a warehouse factory, lots of things going on in there as if it were in preparation for something to later be revealed. They repeated the name over and over again. When I looked it up, there are a few songs with that name, and a few actual places (one being a haunted house). The other side was intuition when this name was repeated over and over, of the story/chapter in Game of Thrones when Daenerys goes to the House of the Undying and has visions. There are thousands of fan theories on that, I assume only fans would care about that. Either side of this leads to intense rabbit holes you may choose to jump into or not. Both show intense spiritual work being done, a dark night of the soul perhaps, I’m expecting a Hermit & High Priestess for you in this reading. Spirituality, the questions of everything in the universe, your path, facing darkness in oneself and others. In the show, Dany went through absolute hell before she rose again more powerful than before, I think that’s the whole point of this, because you’re feeling down, guarded, protective, and pessimistic about things, that I can tell. It’s a process, not a finality 💜

🔸 Whole of Your Energy: The High Priestess & The Devil

Regarding: 7 Swords

I’M SHRIEKING OVER HERE. The minute I pulled High Priestess as the first card. Holy shit 😂 Clarified by The Magician, 7 Cups, and The Hermit. It’s no joke, I’m over here excited because I’ve done this & I get it, I love to see these awakenings and spiritual work. But…on the other side of it, what it takes to get there is often painful. Surviving everything that is hell in your life. To use the show as an example, Dany lost her child, her husband, her entire family, every sense of personal definition & identity she’d ever had, everyone she’d ever loved, and it crushed her…before she eventually rose again. Because you have to. Well, you don’t have to, but eventually you *will* want to. This energy leads to transformation, extremely painful while you’re in it, but eventually you won’t be the same person anymore, then leaving this is the natural next step. We don’t usually go looking for this, it’s more like…when Spirit is all we have left, is when we start really listening. South Node aligns with Libra placements for another year before moving on, and ego deaths have probably been the first step (last year energy) for most, what you thought was true before, now it’s about you on the inside - the bare essentials. You’re not your job, your relationship, your stuff, your family, your gender or preferences. Labels. Who are you?

You may have gotten several spiritual nudges about toxic things in your life, toxic behaviors you act out, avoidance and refusal to take accountability for things on both parts, you and others. This has created a situation of confusion…why are you alone now? Or why do you *feel* alone? Well, that’s why. People that don’t take accountability for their side of issues will be left to “deal with it” one way or another. Some people stay like that forever. It’s both sides, there are people around you that are in this avoidant energy, playing out the same toxic behaviors and acting out of shadow that they always have. And you are doing the same, maybe not in the same ways. We all have toxic shit inside of us, it’s the human experience, dark and light, and the most toxic person is the one that swears they aren’t, the person who has a negative story for everyone they’ve ever known, but doesn’t realize or admit that they’ve played a role in each one. Lilith will be entering your sign mid-year to join the South Node, for a double whammy of showing you especially, what triggers you, what kind of behaviors and habits give you negative results, what have you avoided facing? Yours especially are focused inward, being in your own sign. It sounds daunting and it is, but it has a purpose, you’ll realize later.

Libra risings are especially likely to feel attacked by others’ anger, jealousy, greed, lust & fantasy, either in being put on “sexy” pedestals that don’t actually exist for the sake of fantasy, consciously choosing to act in such a way as you *want* that, embracing tempting or lustful Lilith energy itself, or in the more negative, hateful ways of Lilith’s expression, them projecting that on you and you acting in this way, both sides. People may think the worst of you, encouraging you to go into Hermit energy. That logically explains your Queen/King of Swords card being highlighted, though that’s you normally too, but this year it’s especially necessary. Cutting through the bs, facing the truth…all sides of it, yours too. No more avoiding facing facts, with the dominant focus being on your own shadows & unsavory experiences or behaviors, addictions, unconscious/conscious learned toxicity from others, hardcore spiritual/psychological work & eventual awakenings. By this time next year, suns & moons should feel much different, more self-aware & confident - positively. The sun will rise again. Risings will have the nodes moving through their 12th as well, for two more years, for an extra dose of spiritual work - also positive, but an even deeper darkness to continue navigating - the unconscious mind itself & letting go. As you’re processing the negative, allow yourself to let in the positive too. How this plays out depends on your own situations, actions, ages, experiences, house placements etc., not everyone is dealing with the doomiest & gloomiest, some have already done this and are just getting more deeply in touch with Spirit, shifting paths, but some will or already have walked through the pits of hell, so we acknowledge & respect the experience as a whole.

🔸 Character Oracle: The Twins 👯‍♀️

This card refers to a specific relationship, could be romantic, doesn’t have to be. Siblings are mentioned as well. Some may be involved with Twin Flames, some may be a literal twin, or it’s someone else, but this describes the dynamic of two separate people who are yin/yang, masculine/feminine, light and dark, etc. Opposites essentially, but eerily similar, and there’s a lot of fighting, arguing, toxic behaviors and judgements of the other person, when some looking in the mirror is needed. One person may be more active & going for what they want, the other is more receptive and accepts what comes to them. One person may be at the top of their game, the other person is emotionally in a dark place right now. Fingers are pointed at the other person as if they’re the problem, but neither are actually judging the other - but more themselves. Or need to be. This card says we’re all human, are you really being fair to others? The Devil points out toxic mindsets and behaviors you carry, probably towards other people. The whole year has this same dynamic, the nodes refer to self vs others (Aries/Libra), and partnerships are most affected here. We’re all on different timelines, with different past lives, different karma, different lessons and purposes. When you’re feeling dark/spiritual 12th House energy, someone else is feeling 5th happy go lucky energy, having kids or winning at life. When you’re in 10th work mode, some are in 4th family mode. When you’re focused on others, others may need to be focused on themselves, and *no one is wrong*. No one is right either. It’s all a balance = Libra ☯️ This card highlights soul-tie relationships, in some way you are *bound* to this person, so it’s probably the most important connections being affected.

🔸 Relationship: 10 Wands & Queen of Pentacles

Regarding: The Sun rev

The person you’re with is probably more career oriented than you are, and it’s a burden that weighs you down. If you’re a stay at home parent, your person’s successes may feel like a threat to you, along with any contacts they have at work or in their life. You could feel like they’re going to find something better and leave you, and these issues of codependency and fear need to come to light - because right now they just fester inside of you. There’s an imbalance in your relationship. Some of you hate your job, or your person’s job. Some of you are uncomfortable with the lack of money coming in. Most just don’t feel confident with where they are right now - as an individual, because it’s the feelings of the individual that are being avoided. You or them. There’s a toxic game of avoiding issues going on between you, and it could be because you don’t want to burden others with your feelings (or vice versa), but until they’re dealt with it’s just going to be more of the same. Some of these issues may be financial, like you’re a single person operating in a relationship, and there’s no togetherness, no romance, it’s acting more like roommates than true love. You or they may also not help much financially, or spends in a way that’s shady and that’s been avoided but is an issue.

I don’t see immaturity, or toxic anger issues, no explosions or battles, just not speaking how you feel, not addressing things that need to be addressed. Some of you may want to leave who you’re with and don’t speak up, or you’re terrified your person feels this way about you. It feels like your light has been smothered. Or your person’s. But going by your character card, is it the relationship, or is it what you’re doing…work, schedules, burdens, there’s a lack of emotional vulnerability and accountability that needs to be addressed. YOU MATTER TOO. And they do. Both. Two individual people need to discuss what they need & should be providing to the other, again no one is wrong, it’s just you and your needs with them and their needs, are these things fair and compatible? Or not? Break-ups are possible, if that’s what you want, I don’t see them as inevitable though…unless you both refuse to take action with the problems. I think you avoid speaking your truth, because you’re afraid of theirs. Both are valid.

🔸 Singles: King of Cups & Knight of Wands

Regarding: Page of Swords

King of Cups is repeated in relationships and here, some of you could be leaving one person for another - acting out of Lilith energy, lust, obsession, etc. Some could also be splitting up, having long & much needed realizations about the issues involved, apologizing and reuniting. In relationships, one person is pointing a lot fingers and it’s both, period. Not just one. Until ego deaths & some real conversations happen about the toxic things between you, it’s not going to get better. But they do come up as your soulmate, King & Queen of Cups, reuniting is all over the bottom of the deck, it’s very possible.

For those where that doesn’t apply, with this being such an intense year, it’s quite possible for you to spontaneously meet someone you’re obsessed 🤩 with, they check every box, you *cannot* get them out of your mind at any second of the day, it borders on…is this healthy? Could be a friend, or start off that way, Page of Pentacles & 3 Cups. Some of you may be meeting twin flames 🔥 for the first time. Some could be reuniting. Could be a karmic, they’re someone that’s going to make you face your own darkness in ways you never imagined, because it never occurred to you there was any. The passion will likely be out of this world, along with obsessive aspects, possible control issues, jealousy, anger, with the good comes the bad - like everything. If it’s just beginning, definitely more of the lusty good. This could also have some level of codependency that happens very quickly, try not to get lost in your relationships, or cling on too tightly, same goes for them.

The card that came out for who this could be (or the most needed to see) is The Enchanter, someone that’s a master of deception and trickery, they lie and deceive. Or do they? It all may sound a little too good to be true, is this the first time they’ve played the game they’re playing? Twin again comes out literally in this card. Is this truly a Twin or a hard lesson? There may be some deceptive shit going on here, thus bringing out the accountability and what’s being avoided. If you’re bouncing from connection to connection and avoiding a relationship altogether, could be because you’ve already dealt with this person. Or is this person you? Specifically, with the one you’re trying to reconnect with. On some level, like with most of this reading, it feels like both.

🔸 Career: The Star rev, 4 Wands rev & King of Wands

Regarding: 6 Pentacles

Work could be the cause of some relationship problems, preshuffle energy is coming out here. Your person may embody this attractive, charming, flirtatious, attention-seeking energy through their career, and it leaves you feeling like the connection is unstable. They could be giving their best to work, not you, maybe dressing up nice and smelling good for strangers but at home it’s like you don’t exist or aren’t important. There needs to be equal effort given between home & career for that story, to turn things around.

For some, things may not have been the same since a boss or possibly a fire sign left your job. That could be happening now, and it leaves you feeling unstable, this could be someone you really liked or they did a great job. For some, it’s possible an authority position is free, but you don’t feel confident in applying for it. Maybe they aren’t offering enough or the benefits are non-existent for what they should be. You want to be given what you deserve and don’t feel confident that’s going to happen, either where you are or even somewhere else. Some of you are dealing with a boss or peer that does not put in their fair share of the effort, could be someone that will talk for days but not actually work, ever, and you want this dynamic to end. Some of you may be confronting a person you’re having issues with, or even going to a boss over it. Especially if they’re flirting with you, that’s possible too, it could make you feel uncomfortable or fearful of losing your position. You could be allowing sexual harassment - nod to that main energy of avoidance & The Devil, trying to people please to avoid any backlash. If you’re the victim here, speak up 💯 The World at the bottom is an ending, a positive one, closing a cycle. Same goes for if you’re holding yourself back from an opportunity to showcase your talents - do it! What you give out you’ll receive back, it’s your own pessimism & fear getting in your way, for most.

🔸 What needs to be left behind in 2023: Death & 7 Cups

Regarding: 8 Swords

Stop allowing confusion and options to keep you bound to where you are, essentially it’s “stop making excuses”, but it’s more because you’re trying to align yourself with other people. Coworkers, friends, parents, partners, whoever. It’s perfectly fine to make your own decision for yourself and be an independent person - even if you’re in a relationship. They’re not dating themselves, they’re dating you, who are you? What do you want for you? You don’t have to ask permission, don’t have to get feedback from other people, nothing should be holding you back or acting as a cage keeping you in place. Now if you’re in a marriage, acting single all the time, again it’s a balance of me/relationship, independence vs codependence, all year long. Respect is coming to agreements with your person over big things, budgets, signing up for things both of you are affected by, buying a new car, etc., but yeah get your nails done if you want, buy what you want with your money, and you don’t need permission. Respect is one thing, control is another, if someone is trying to control you then they need to be put in their place. Same goes for you too, you may act controlling due to insecurity or as a response to insecurity or feeling controlled in some other way. Like you’re controlling with other people around your person, they’re controlling with money, and no one gets to control shit anymore - you’re two separate people. Balance 🙏 You have a hard time finalizing decisions, even if you talk about them, because of all this ick Devil energy that needs to be addressed and dealt with, so you can move forward in more healthy ways, healthy relationships, with confidence ☀️

Reading Oracles: Your oracles didn’t have specific places, but for everything overall.

32 Details

Examine your situation and take care of every detail, one step at a time.

35 Risk

Be aware or you will have to beware. Do not deny the risk and hazards that you see.

7777 show sneaky options, lies, deceptions, confusion, possible gaslighting even could be going on in your relationships specifically and need to be left behind for good, or are the reason one of you is leaving/has left.

888 shows that if you keep yourself bound, restricted, and quiet in regards to a work issue, there may be a risk involved that could be a potential hazard. The High Priestess *knows*, whatever it is, you already know, and need to do something about it. Someone at work could be doing some sneaky/deceptive things, or your own avoidance towards work & finances generally may be risky towards future planning, stability, the long-term, etc.

Astrological Shifts in 2023 (for Risings):

Jan 01 - Mercury direct in Sag

Jan 21 - Pluto enters Aqu (again) - 5th House 🎉

Feb 14 - Mars conj. Pluto Aquarius - 5th 🎉 - likely intense, sexual, powerful, & transformative, could meet/date someone with heat 🔥, or it’s a heated kind of day, could feel more amorous than usual, be careful of power trips & control issues, heat & intensity can go either way good/bad, it’s possible kids get in the way of this or be an issue somehow

Mar 09 - Mars Aqua squares Uranus Tau at 5:55 P.M. - likely a day of conflict - 5th 🎉 vs. 8th ☠️ - possibly in relation to sex & intimacy, children, and power dynamics regarding this (or just time for both) - single parents could feel especially frustrated by the day to day & no time for dating

Mar 21 - Venus conj Saturn Pis - love & boundaries go hand in hand

Mar 25 - Lunar Eclipse in Lib - 1st 🫵

Apr 01 - Mercury retrogrades Ari - 7th ❤️ - issues with romantic partners & those close to you are likely, or they’re dealing with things and so you are too, by association

Apr 08 - Solar Eclipse in Ari - continued lessons from the nodes throughout this year, issues between masculine/feminine likely, father/mother, action/reception, others/self

Apr 24 - Mercury direct

May 18 - Venus conj Uranus & Sun conj Jupiter, all in Taurus - 8th ☠️ - proposals are possible, deepening a commitment (or ending one), so are wins where any lawsuits or contracts are concerned, especially divorce, “death” may be financially beneficial to you in some way regarding a will, you may also have spiritual or obviously karmic experiences - especially regarding an ex, or someone that’s passed on

May 25 - Jupiter enters Gem - 9th 😇 - a further boost to personal spiritual exploration and experiences, some of you could decide to further your education, or may meet a “teacher” of some kind that’s beneficial to you

May 29 - Mars conj Chiron Ari @ 22’ - 7th ❤️ its possible to wound, be wounded, or take action to address any that exist in your close personal relationships

June 29 - Lilith enters Lib - 1st 🫵 usually only felt when aspecting a personal placement, which you at least have the rising. During this time, you will probably attract more naysayers, jealousy, obsession, lust, and “haters”. Your attractiveness goes up 1000% to those that want you, but you will also likely trigger darkness in others - and not have any idea why. It’s their problem not yours, unless this negatively aspects something in your chart. Be careful with love, this is vixen energy, not a long-lasting commitment kind, and though your intentions may be 💯 others’ may not.

July 06 - Venus Can square Chiron Ari - 10th 🔨 vs. 7th ❤️ - reputation may be negatively affected for those involved with Lilith-esque affairs, someone at work may be treating you in uncomfortable ways, harassment is possible either because someone is jealous, obsessed or hateful, unnecessarily competitive vibes, it will likely hurt your feelings. Or you could be this way towards others, especially your partner, dominating but the passive aggressive kind. Take breaks, recharge, get grounded.

Aug 04 - Mercury retrogrades Vir-Leo - 12th 😵‍💫 & 11th 🤝 for many of you it’s your own triggers being highlighted, either because of past/buried trauma and projections, or because of literal shit disturbers/hidden enemies…it’s can be either & both in the 12th, this may have to do with social media and friends, probably posting passive aggressive bs or you may question who is really a friend, could be a good time to purge, or reconnect, retrogrades are great for healing things too, some may need a whole social media break

Aug 19 - Venus Vir opposes Saturn Pis & Jupiter Gem squares both - T square of 12th 😵‍💫, 6th 🤒🐶, and 9th 😇 could be finding clarity in/with these triggering situations/people, possibly addressing bad habits or attracting information and “teachers” along the lines of health or psychology, possibly spiritual, if school or work either - bad study habits & distractions, “hidden enemies” could pose a problem to your mental wellness, maybe good day to call in if you can. Health being highlighted, you may have to.

Aug 27 - Mercury direct Leo

Sept 01 - Pluto enters Cap (last time) - 4th 🏡

Sept 16 - Venus Lib opposes Chiron Ari @ 22’ - 1st 🫵 & 7th ❤️ - not a fan of the degree being 22’, involves or addresses pain with partnerships, if something sneaky or an affair is going on, it’s not possible this doesn’t blow up, otherwise you may be being seen as a villain, I can’t tell if it’s deserved or not…partnerships take a hit multiple times throughout 2024 from every direction, and these hits could hurt. 22’ is the “kill or be killed” degree. 5 Swords energy. Vicious. If not a lover, an enemy. Sometimes it’s both.

Sept 17 - Partial Lunar Eclipse Pis - 6th 🤒🐶, preparing for the nodes to shift next year

Oct 02 - Solar Eclipse Lib - 1st 🫵 your sign is front and center for a *lot* of attention this year, it just won’t all be positive, let your haters be your motivators and keep moving 💖

Nov 19 - Pluto enters Aqu (for good) - 5th 🎉

Nov 25 - Mercury retrogrades Sag - 3rd 🗣️

Dec 06 - Mars retrogrades Leo - 11th 🤝 things could slow down with networking, social media or your friendships, a good time to review what’s working for you and what isn’t

Dec 15 - Mercury direct Sag

Dec 24 - Jupiter Gem squares Saturn Pis - 9th 😇 vs 6th 🤒🐶 - there could be some discipline regarding health matters, like Aunt Jo has a gluten allergy and you made rolls, possible issues with animals, a need to learn about things related to health/wellness, if you’re on a health journey you could just cheat like a mfer around the holidays because pie, or you could be irritated because you’re the one with food preferences and other people are doing it the way they do it…you’re allergic to cats and their cat is everywhere even the counter, things like that. Breathe 🧘🏻‍♀️

[stardustdiiving]

For the ship asks:

What was your first ship and what fandom was it from?

Is there a (Genshin) ship that you used to ship but don’t anymore?

Rate zhongven from 1-10 and explain why (I enjoy zhongven very passively and therefore don’t really think about it much or talk about it much with other people, so I’d love to hear some of your thoughts on it!)

1) my first solid ship was probably Rose/Pearl from steven universe…They were also in hindsight kind of a main gay awakening for me bc it was specifically just like messy complicated interpersonal feelings between 2 women with sort of a romantic intimacy that just made me go ohhhhh. Now I finally understand why ppl enjoy romance. I had other “ships” prior but it was just me going “oh this is cute I guess” in response to other ppl liking things. After all of this it somehow took me years to consider the lesbian or aromantic labels. Help

2) not a ship but the only genshin dynamic thing I can think of that I felt out of is probably like, father/son zhongli and xiao. When I first got into genshin I vaguely rocked it but I’ve kind of gotten so polarized out of enjoying it bc of how a lot of people handle it in fanon so it just squicks me out a lot of the time >___> now I sort of just enjoy zhongxiao in a very ambiguous secret third thing sort of way

I RATE ZHONGVEN 10/10 I enjoy them a lot. I think it’s hilarious because on one hand it’s like insane old married couple who gets divorced for fun and on the other it’s just…old friends who genuinely get along who balance each other out personality wise in a sweet way. I lost my god damn mind over lantern rite 2023 having them interact and what made it even better is they put xiao there too and made my vision about the fact I think Xiao gets ping ponged between zhongven and is forced to witness their insane marriage canon. Incredible. I love characters that banter with each other it’s really good and I think it’s fun becwuse Venti and Zhongli are both people who don’t express alot of genuine vulnerability…but them being vulnerable with each other feels reasonable to me just because they’re such old friends and understand each other through that

So you get characters who contrast and compliment each other very well but also, and this is the key thing about why zhongven goes from A tier to S tier for me: it’s funny. Like their canon lore involves Venti getting drunk and pouring wine on Zhongli’s head and Zhongli going between calling Venti “a disgrace to the arts” while also complimenting his music as being “unmatched throughout the land”. They both stare off into the distance and reminisce about missing each other in a sad old man way. It’s so good i think there’s something wrong with them . A+ ship

(ship ask prompt)

[la-principessa-nuova]

So I have something I want to vent about from a trans perspective but in case anyone from my family ever finds my blog I don’t want to get too specific about it.

Like many closeted trans women, I have to use my deadname pretty much all the time. I don’t get all that bothered by first name. When I hear it a lot it bugs me because it sounds male to me (even though technically it’s gender neutral), but I don’t hate it, and it’s whatever. My last name is a last name, so fine. It does feel masculine for various reasons, but it’s a last name so whatever.

But my middle name is problematic, because it’s a family name with a lot of baggage. I’m going to hide the rest behind a divider because it mentions some sensitive topics (without really getting into them).

Technically the name goes back a few generations, and it’s also my dad’s middle name, but one of the people with the name, and the only one I knew primarily by that name, is my dad’s brother. Notice that I don’t say uncle, because he lost his right to that title a long time ago.

I don’t know how to say this without saying it, so what I will say is that if I did describe how he lost that right, it would require this trigger warning, as well as this one, and it drove a wedge in my family creating many issues that have not gone away over time and still make me face major moral dilemmas multiple times per week.

And back before he went to prison, he was very overweight, and while I’m not as big as he was, thanks to my self-consciousness, I’ve always felt like I was, and after my most recent mental health spiral, I’ve gotten much closer than I ever was. This lead to a lot of comparisons, especially when I was a kid, with one older family member waking from a coma with some memory issues and calling me by his name.

Now this will mess with anyone’s head to be labeled similar to someone like that, but it goes double when you’re also hiding that you belong to a marginalized group that gets falsely accused of doing the exact crime he did.

It also doesn’t help that he acts super bro-y with an overly masculine energy, so being labeled as like him also comes with extra misgendering over being called a man in general.

So what this has lead to is me having a very complicated relationship with my middle name, where I’ve never been a huge fan of it, but it has also been a part of my name my whole life, and it technically comes from a family member who I loved very much and miss, but it reminds me more of this other person who I very much do not. And then there’s the misgendering on top of it, and so hearing the name brings up feelings, but being addressed as it is genuinely difficult.

This has been on my mind lately, but what lead to me posting this was that I was reading the comments on a post that apparently accidentally sounded like it was referencing some movie or something with a character with that name, and I guess the reply to that line was someone addressing that character by name. So just about every comment on that post was like this (replacing with a different movie quote/name): “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!”

And even though I knew it was a movie quote, and I knew it was a common name, and it wasn’t directed at me at all, reading it being used like that, like they are addressing someone by that name, was too much, and I ended up crying and giving up on reading the comments on that post.

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Is Beetlejuice really Autistic, or am I just projecting really hard?

Ah yes, the character of my hyperfixation- Beetlejuice. He’s a demon that I’ve read way too much fanfiction about. 

One thing I’ve seen come up a good handful of times in reading my Beetlejuice fanfiction is the concept of Beetlejuice being autistic. As an autistic person myself, I am intrigued by the idea. Perhaps some sort of autistic coding might be responsible for why I relate so heavily to these characters.

The first one I came across was “Meltdown” from nonbinarytaylorswift - It’s an absolutely amazing work of fanfiction by the way, I legit cried, better autistic representation than published books, go give it a read. 

And that is not the only one. Searching “Beetlejuice Autistic” in AO3 comes up with 22 results. That’s a lot of fics made by different people who very strongly project autism onto Beetlejuice (and also Lydia). 

The wonderful thing about fanfiction is how we can shift and stretch the characters and plot to suit our own needs. Consider how many hurt/comfort stories there are that delve into very specific issues, ones that the author may even explicitly state are personal for them. It’s wonderful and I absolutely respect it. We project our own problems onto these characters and then project the solution. Who needs therapy when we can just imagine a fictional character giving us positive self–affirmations? (Plot twist, arguably reading and writing these stories helps reinforce those positive vibes, which makes them good for the mental health). 

When it comes down to it, get a large enough fandom, and there’s probably going to be some autistic people projecting themselves into fanworks. Plus with hyper fixating on a certain show or character making neurodivergents more likely to engage in fanfic and art and whatnot? It’s pretty much a guarantee that there’s going to be work claiming one character or another is autistic, and let’s all project really hard onto it.

Which is all great. I want to make it really clear- even if the canon work doesn’t reinforce the idea that your character is autistic (or lgbt or neurodivergent or anything else), it’s completely fair that you create work depicting them as such. 

But I wanted to investigate this a bit closer. Is there an argument for Beetlejuice being autistic in the work itself? 

Consider the many people who work on creative projects. Tons of creatives will confess to shoving themselves into a character in some way. I’d argue it’s hard not to put your own experience into a character, even if only for the reason that well written characters will delve on truths about us as humans that cut deep into most people who view them. Writing a story about love might entail that the writer ends up harkening back to their experiences with love. If you boil a character down to their most basic struggle, it turns out you can relate to them.

For Musical Beetlejuice, his motivation is becoming visible. He wants to be seen. He wants to interact with the world. (And wouldn’t you know it, Lydia also has this struggle). So how does that relate to universal human truths or whatever?

Well, I think that most people can probably think of a time where they weren’t seen, taken seriously, or something like that. People have felt completely alone at times in their life. We’ve all felt ignored, shunned by the world. Woah, these characters are relatable to the audience? Who would’ve thought.

Relating to a character’s struggles doesn’t necessarily make them autistic. Turns out, I can project my issues on to a similar feeling without it being the exact same thing. 

But I still feel like there’s something very autistic about Beetlejuice, and one of the people responsible for the character might be responsible for that as well: Tim Burton himself. Allegedly, he might be autistic. I don’t want to cite anything here- most of the top sources claiming he’s autistic are ones I don’t respect. (One of them uses functioning labels, many cite asperger's syndrome despite that not being the correct term anymore, and so on) It’s not a claim that’s been confirmed by a diagnosis, but I also don’t think a confirmed diagnosis needs to exist. (not going to get into the whole diagnosis debate right now). The point is, a lot of stuff he makes ties to struggles that an autistic person might deal with. I mean, the misunderstood outcast who’s very different from the rest of the people around them is the main character in… most Tim Burton films. It’s a relatable trope, but one that kind of rings true for autistic people. 

Social connections are hard for autistic people to make- usually harder than neurotypical people. I, and many other autistic people like me, struggle with socializing. It’s one of the diagnostic requirements for ASD. So a story about a person who has a lot of difficulty navigating social environments would be relatable to me. That misunderstood outcast? Yeah, that’s me.

These protagonists aren’t usually just weird. Usually there’s a reason behind it: maybe their closest relationship is with a corpse, maybe they exist in a boundary between human and inhuman- some sort of almost-monster figure, or maybe they just have interests that no one else has or understands. (Can you name the different Burton protagonists that these each apply to? Hint: they could all refer to more than one). It makes sense from a story perspective- the audience should probably have a reason for why a character is rejected from society. The thing that makes it so autistic is that these people are rejected for seemingly no fault of their own, for a reason that doesn’t make a lot of sense.

It’s a very sad point of social outcast: they will never belong to the main in-group. They can try, but it never ends up working- thus instead they have to accept both their identity as an outcast, and the thing that makes them unique.

Beetlejuice (musical version) is a bit of a twist on that idea, in that it’s others that learn to accept them, rather than learning to accept themselves. This is especially true for Lydia’s arc- her dad learns to respect who she is as a person, instead of trying to change her into the image of the daughter he wants. The movie, we sort of get that? It’s more like she meets people who respect her for who she is. The movie isn’t as neat in tying off the story arcs. Or maybe I’m just bad at watching movies.

But there’s more that makes (musical) Beetlejuice autistic than the social outcast angle. 

One of the things that I’ve seen brought up when talking about this is how the character’s body language can contribute to that sort of reading. I’m treading a bit carefully here, because a lot of Beetlejucie’s body language can also be described as “inhuman”, and talking about how non-human characters work in terms of neurodiversity allegories is a whole other discussion, one that delves into the various problems with those readings. 

But aside from that, I also want to offer my own interpretation as an autistic who enjoys watching stuff: it’s exaggerated expression.

One of the problems with me watching a lot of films for my film classes is that I have trouble with subtle emotions. Stuff other people can pick up on in movies I’ll pick up on differently. “A bit sad” isn’t a facial expression for me, it’s a sound cue, it’s a lighting cue, it’s body language, it’s movement. When a film wants me to rely on a character’s face, dialouge, actions, and the story to pinpoint how a character is feelings and their internal motivations, I can struggle a bit. That being said, there are films that I really enjoy watching. If I don’t need to rely on half of the cues to tell what a person is feeling, I like the film more. Arguably the stuff that gives off the best cues? Animation and musicals.

People don’t move like that in real life. But by disconnecting the film from what is real, we move into something that I can enjoy quite a bit. So if you look at an image from a musical, and put it side by side with an image from a hyper-realistic drama, the musical has a completely different method of expression. It might be expressing the same emotion, but it feels super different. 

So this overly-expressive style is something I can understand, but it’s also something I can do. It’s very uncanny for people who meet me in real life- I sometimes slip into a method of self expression that can seem very off to a normal person. I might pace back and forth and dramatically monologue about how my boss is a jerk- yes I have actually done this. It’s difficult to analyze my own behavior, but from what I understand, it’s there. I have very expressive emotions, even if they don’t express in a “normal” way.

So that’s kind of an explanation on the behavior and body language aspects to the character being autistic.

But even considering the genre, Musical Beetlejuice is especially autistic.

Consider the fact that he’s really socially ignorant. He doesn’t seem to pick up on normal social cues at all - or if he does, he doesn’t acknowledge them. He’s easily tricked in “Creepy Old Guy”, and again “tricked with love” by Juno near the end. 

It’s sympathetic. It’s ignorance. It’s an autistic character.

But whether or not you agree with me on if Beetlejuice is autistic, that’s fine. Perhaps his character was influenced by autistic people (Tim Burton or otherwise), or maybe I’m just projecting into things that are common for people overall. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I intended on just talking about the trope as it appears in different works of fanfiction, but instead I got distracted and just wrote several pages on character tropes or something. Anyway, go read some autistic beetlejuice fanfiction.

[multiplicity-positivity]

Hello! Found your blog recently, and we kinda wanted to share our story. Sorry if this ends up being long winded :[

Also CW for {possible?} dormancy and faking/feelings of faking

So around the beginning of the month, I started suspecting that I was a system. At first, I just thought I was faking it, and was simply kinning my fictives heavily. Part of the reason I thought this was because 1) I have a very active and vivid imagination; I had an entire AU going on at one point, and 2) I have a tendency to get attatched to characters, then kin them, then project onto them like a motherf'er. I didn't hear anyone at the time, either. I was also having a gender crisis. Then it happened. Next thing I know I'm hearing voices and picturing my ‘members’ just walking around.

Within a week or so, about 4 of them just disappeared. Went ghost. Couldn't hear them, couldn't see them, they were just gone. I presumed they just went dormant. And yes, they are still ghost. Around the same time is when I thought I could feel some unknown member co fronting randomly. It just felt like someone was in the passenger seat of a car with 7 other people in the back. I also started developing some communication with everyone else via one of those fake texting story apps. I could hear them, I could perfectly visualize them and our ‘headspace’ {Which is just a blank void}, and I was talking with them. Nobody's ever been front except me {I think?}, but they exist. Sometimes. There are times when they're running around like rabid monkeys or helping me decide whether or not to go another night without sleep, and then there times where my head feels empty. Just hollow, like there's nobody else there.

Sometimes I still think I'm faking it due to my absurdly detailed imagination. But I will say-I've felt weird when suddenly being referred to with feminine pronouns as a whole, but I feel better when referring to myself with feminine pronouns separately from everyone else, and they also have different genders and sexualities, and it makes me feel better than labeling myself collectively, if that makes sense. I've already dragged out my whole life story, and I don't want to take up anymore of your time, so I'll get to what I came here for.

A new member popped up recently, she's a fictive from a song, and I have no idea where they came from. All I know is she just...Appeared. Didn't even say hello, just popped up. Are there reasons for any kind of alter to just appear out of thin air with no apparent cause or origin? Also, can someone's overactive imagination play a part in having a system somehow {Aside from headspace visualization}?

{Sorry this was so long :[ }

Hi! So we feel like having an active imagination can play a big part in being plural, if that’s how you choose to identify! There is a term - imagian - that describes headmates who are imaginary friends! Maybe this describes you and your potential system?

We will say that if you don’t suspect a dissociative disorder, then “alter” is not the right term to use. The term “alter” refers to an altered self-state or altered personality state, and is a clinical term meant to describe specifically parts of a system with a dissociative disorder like DID and OSDD.

If you’re questioning plurality at all, we always suggest ruling out trauma as a potential origin before considering anything else. We have some resources in our master post, which I’ll link below, that may help you learn more about dissociative disorders, how they manifest, and if you might have one.

In dissociative disorders, no, alters don’t really just “appear out of nowhere.” They split due to trauma, and function primarily by holding onto traumatic memories. Sometimes an alter may come forward during times of peace and safety, but they usually didn’t split right then - they just made themselves known after a long time in hiding.

But for other kinds of plurality, headmates sure can simply appear! Whether walk-ins, imaginary friends, or headmates with other labels or origins, lots of systems have headmates who simply joined their system with no easily discernible cause. And having an active imagination sounds like it could be a huge contributing factor for having a system of imagian headmates!

If you’ve only been suspecting you might be a system for around a month, it may take some more time before you figure out a solid answer. We can’t confirm or deny your plurality - that’s something only you can do! Please don’t rush this process; patience is really important when it comes to questioning something major like multiplicity! Take your time, do lots of research, and don’t jump to conclusions before you’re ready!

We hope this helps! Best of luck to you on your journey!

🌸 Margo and 💫 Parker

[furinana]

When I was playing the iOS version of SMT1, nobody could drink. If you tried, there was an extra line of dialogue where the bartender says something like, "Aren't you a little young?" and gives you juice instead. I don't know if it's just an international release thing, if it was added in the GBA or PSX port, or what. Felt a bit like they were trying to weasel out of a 'representing minors consuming alcohol' offense.

I always thought the Heroine was in her twenties by the present, but since she's the rebel leader and everyone's after her, she never shows anyone her ID.

Enforcing drinking laws might have made sense in the present, but after Tokyo is destroyed, why do the bartenders care? And how would they know that these random travelers are under twenty, if IDs aren't produced anymore?

I think it makes more sense if nobody cared about underage drinking laws by the time you reach bars. If memory serves, Kichijoji only has a cafe, and you only get bars once you reach Shinjuku. By then, things have gotten so bad that bars might start selling to anyone who can pay.

But really, we all know that if anyone's irresponsible, it's the bars of SMT2, for serving alcohol to two-year-old Aleph.

Hah I was very much suspecting it was a retcon. And that's because MT2/SMT2 already had an euphemism for beer which was Magical Fizz. 

So I'm guessing they gave up on trying to be subtle and removed the lore of the protagonist having alcohol altogether for later rereleases? So teenager drinking bad but using guns and killing people still good?

Anyway since we’re at it, let’s compare the 8/16-bit era of mainline games chronologically on the drinking aspect:

In the SNES version of Megami Tensei, while they don’t specify what kind of drink you’re having, from Nakajima’s reaction it seemed very satisfying. The name of the shop is even “Poison Bar”, for goodness’s sake. 

That being said, considering the game is a completely different (and far simpler) take on the story from the original novel, we can easily label Nakajima doing underage drinking and frickin gambling in the Underworld as non-canon. 

ACTUALLY, I skimmed through its NES version and I don’t think any of those features were supposed to exist in the first place. Which means MT2 was where bars started being a thing:

NES and SNES for comparison. Yeah, the exact same English words are written in the Japanese text for the drinks. You know, something I can’t help but get awfully curious for is that while in later SNES titles the main character freely drinks liquor, in the game where this feature made its debut he’s literally the one who can’t have it.

No booze allowed for the MT2 protagonist. Only soft drinks. Even though both of his partners can have beer. It’s never commented why. If there are age differences, it’s not apparent. And they live in devastated version of Tokyo so rules would be far more lax.

It’s funny because this is the same game where the protagonist can go to a drugstore to get high from herbal medicine. Yeah you read it right.

And he can keep going for a LONG time.

...and overdose to the point of falling on the floor paralyzed and unable to do anything, much to the heroine’s chagrin.

On that note, there’s a single instance in the entire game where the MC finally is offered actual liquor. From... a guy that was Satan's disguise.

Paralyzed AGAIN, Takuma? And imagine getting roofied by goddamn Satan. 

Maybe the reason bartenders don’t serve him specifically is because people that are familiar with him know he’s a danger to himself. Considering that [redacted] happens in a point of the game... yeah. You better stop and just fucking listen to what Asuka says to you, boy.

SMT1 is where the protagonist finally can join the fun with his companions. Everyone drinks the same thing. Equality baby! And no euphemisms!

They could drink in bars both when Tokyo was normal and after it got destroyed by the missiles, so I don’t think the excuse of “oh, the apocalypse made people stop caring” work, at least with the same weight as in MT2.

...AND THEN the sequel brought Magical Fizz back. Probably because SMT2 took cues from MT2 and/or they thought the word was still hilarious (I also do, ngl).

This little dialogue of the barman not letting you drink any more doesn’t show up in other games with the bar feature. Makes you wonder if Aleph is a lightweight since [redacted] or if other bartenders are just... irresponsible as fuck. And yes I’m also counting you on this, crazy MT2 drugstore girl.

One of the big highlights of SMT2 is getting Aleph shitfaced so he can temporarily get enough MAG to win the dance contest. Look at this madlad. Aleph must be great at parties.

You know which other infamous drink makes a comeback?

SUPER MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILK

Fairly enough, it’s exclusive to the Center’s bar. You know... the place where the Law side is located. No sinning next to angels, Aleph.

SMT:If is the game where some surprise factor indeed reaches the player since it happens inside a high school (and yet somehow our first-year protagonists can have liquor bottles stored in their pocket to either offer to demons or chug them down themselves). 

Let’s be honest, this would be an unusual thing to keep around even for adult staff! It’s a school goddamnit. Unless they got it somewhere else like... perhaps the Underworld since Hazama connected both places together.

Actually, such “is this allowed?” age aspect is even commented by a NPC but for the gambling feature:

Considering the type of people you partner up with in SMT:If (and subsenquently the P1/P2 cast to some degree), the protagonists displaying delinquent behavior might very well be what they went for compared to the more ambiguous “left-to-the-player” interpretations for MT2/SMT1/SMT2.

With the exception of our good glasses girl, look at the rest of these hooligans!

Anyway I stick with my interpretation of the main cast of SMT1/2 being on their twenties (or looking as such like Aleph) while the rest are just teens playing with their luck.

[call-me-jennn]

ham học

raw doggin this because I really want to write but am out of practice and prose. Also this post is hard because it comes across braggy, so tldr; I’m doing well, future is bright.

It just happened. One day I’m just watching Netflix at work, you know, the usual. When I get a call. Then before I know it I’m at a hospital and there’s a dead body in front of me and I’m squeezing oxygen into their lungs. And it doesn’t faze me, and I’m not scared or excited. I just do it. And I’m very good at it. I hardly study, I’ve never written a line of notes. It all comes so easy to me.

It felt uncomfortable at first and I was really unhappy. I felt out of place, like such a fraud. It didn’t make sense why this was so easy and everyone’s perception of me was making me feel like an imposter. I don’t think of myself as a smart person, I just think of myself as me. All of a sudden I had these labels put on me out of nowhere.

I thought about quitting. I wasn’t enjoying it and it was too easy. Is that a valid reason? My program director was shocked because it’s not a reason anyone has ever given her. We had a long talk and she told me that she thought I’d be good in a specific specialty and that it could give me the challenges I was looking for. Next semester will be more challenging, she said.  Okay, so I continue with the next semester. And it is still just okay. And I am still wondering if I should quit. Eight weeks pass and I go to a conference to compete in a state scholastic trivia. 

That’s when it all clicks.

As I was sitting in this room full of students, listening to the moderator ask the question; I realized I knew a lot of the answers. I actually know stuff. This whole time I’ve just felt like I don’t know anything. Like the stuff I learn in class I just remember because I have a good memory. But does that even mean I know anything? Having a good memory doesn’t make me smarter than anyone. It’s just an advantage that I have. But being able to answer all those questions made me feel like I belonged there. Like I didn’t just get there because it happened, but because I worked my way to where I was. 

Being a part of a cohort is so different. Before in school I just showed up to class (sometimes), did my work and then went home. I’ve never made a friend in class before. I don’t know anything about my classmates or how well or poor they’re doing. This is different. Everyone knows everyone in the cohort. And there’s drama, and there’s opinions. There’s people who are well liked and there are people that are disliked. I didn’t know how or why until I was confronted by someone, but people thought that I was smart. A girl literally confronted me about how smart I am. It’s a long story but it was shocking to me. First of all, how would anyone know if I’m smart or not? I’m quiet. I only talk to my group members and my three friends. I don’t answer a lot of questions in class. How did people come to form this opinion of me? It’s the first time I’ve been a part of a cohort and experienced falling into rankings. And realizing I’m somewhere near the top.

Which all leads to me now. Now I’m not even just a student anymore. I’m one of the top students. And on the scholastic trivia team. And hold a position as a student liaison for a state organization. And secured the most competitive externship. I’m a competitive candidate. I’ve never been anything before, now I’m a lot of things. I'm a something, I'm a somebody. Are you proud of me?

but there's no way to stick my name in the way I could with jenntistry, so I still might quit.