#it’s so profound I hate my life

[skoulsons]

im suffering in joel emotions ok listen

I cant get over his nervousness in the birthday flashback. The last birthday he experienced, his own or someone’s else’s, was his. And, in under less than three hours after it technically ended, the apocalypse hit their town and Sarah died

There are no good memories associated with his birthday, but I also think birthdays in general. I believe the idea at all has left a sour taste in his mouth. And especially after twenty years in the apocalypse with no one and no reason to celebrate a birthday, why would he even care?

But then there’s Ellie. His second chance. She turned 15 either on the road depending on how long we think she was 14 for when they met, or she turned 15 not too long into Jackson, before they were comfortably settled.

So her 16th is the “big” one. And despite this man who, to me, had gained a hatred and general disinterest in birthdays or celebrations in general, puts one together for Ellie. He says “Maria. She, uh… she told me about it. Figured It’d be right up your alley” but I really think he outright asked her about the surrounding area and anything regarding dinosaurs and/or space that he could use for her birthday :’)

But he puts a little trip together. A few days—ride out, there, and then ride back. He clears out the whole building to make sure it’s safe. Ellie’s notebook says “Joel said he‘a taking me on a camping trip next week for my birthday. He found something he said I’ll love. He’s acting very proud of himself. Smug old fogey.”

Again, I think he’s become very disinterested in the whole idea of birthdays and celebrating. But then, lo and behold, he and Ellie are now together and they have a safe life in Jackson and he gets to spoil her.

And he does. Clears the building out. Finds an old space launch tape for her Walkman and writes “HAPPY BIRTHDAY. love, Joel” (im telling you right now when I found this out I sobbed for hours im not kidding I SOBBED). He makes it as perfect and special as he possibly can.

But then in the space shuttle. He’s nervous. Just… something about him screams that he’s nervous to me. The little hitched breath after telling her “it’ll be worth it” if she closes her eyes to listen (which?? did he steal her walkman briefly to listen to it to make sure it worked?? maybe that’s a dumb thought). the way he has tears in his eyes like the whole scene? “I do okay?” Because he doubts himself and is scared that, somehow, it wasn’t a good trip. And her “are you fucking kidding me?” Is enough for Joel for an answer because he knows what means in Ellie-speak

but for a man who had his last birthday ruined in unimaginable ways, it was repaired in the way he went all out to make Ellie’s 16th as good and memorable as he possibly could. for her birthday, maybe the first proper one she ever got, to be as special as he could manage. to make it something good for her

[silusvesuius]

nnnnnnnnnnnnno maa'am

[itspileofgoodthings]

one big thing I’ve learned by 29 is that the Plan, the God’s Plan of it all I mean, is bigger than me and not just bigger than me but also bigger than my understanding of narrative threads and their limitations. And it’s bigger even than just a simple paradox, turning-on-their-head thing way of being bigger. It’s just so vast. And there is so much room for surprise and possibility and hope in that reality.

[junipum]

listen im crazy but not to the point of researching unbiased analyses of the bible to better relate it to hilson. or to actually compare the characters and motivations between hannigram and hilson. ive come CLOSE. but not close enough.

[the-casbah-way]

What’s your opinion on the English

[slutdge]

ill just be minding my business and then remember how fucked the experience i had with cps was and just how fucked cps is in general and actively harms the children its supposed to be there to help and get so mad i dig a hole into my skin with my nails so deep it starts drawing blood

[shield-and-saber]

yeah, so i just finished cataclysm

[the-cooler-king]

One of those texts I kind of need to sit on before I decide how I'm going to word it.

I never know how to start these, but I always have an idea on what to say. Your opinion of me actually matters a lot & the implication that you believe that I lie to you or I'm not doing enough is kinda hurtful. It comes across to me like my effort is worthless to you & that what I want doesn't matter at all. I wouldn't bring it up if I didn't think you cared, and I know you're going through a lot and shouldn't have to worry about me, but I'm getting mixed signals that are really throwing me off. What do you want from me? Am I asking too much of you and you don't know how to tell me? I sincerely want to be there for you, regardless of what it looks like to get to that point, but if you don't want me there you can tell me! What you want matters just as much, if not more, to me. I'm not the kind of person to be hostile about things if they don't work out. I don't want to be another source of stress or negativity for you, and I don't want you to be afraid of being honest with me. I constantly question if you're just too nice to tell me you aren't interested anymore, and even if you are, I might need more reassurance than you can give me because I don't think I'm very worth it to anyone for anything. If you don't think I'm trying hard enough then tell me what I need to do to change that! I'm at the point of just not knowing what I bring to your life, if anything at all. You don't need to deal with me on top of everything else, so, I'm sorry for this. Even if you don't text me back I'll feel better once I get it out there. The only thing I've ever been afraid of is not communicating exactly how much I care about you & how much you mean to me - even if it doesn't matter to you, or you don't believe me. If there comes a day where we aren't in each other's lives anymore for whatever reason, I don't want either of us to question what could've been said or done differently or regret not doing more.

[moeblob]

This is really weird but like hello hi I like games that let you make a protag design then let you design someone else to be like. Your follower/ally. And you can make em different heights. I feel the need EVERY TIME to make a tiny protag and a tall secondary character.

I also am so weak for the secondary being non-human, too. Please let me love my weird companions.

[3416]

do you still watch 911 lone star?

yeah, i'm still watching it!! if there's a game, i record the episode and watch later but i'm caught up.

[arlathen]

i see “your parents actually werent around much” and say “that isnt angsty enough and doesnt channel my personal trauma in a way i want”

[wanderingpages]

Cardan is lowkey insane for that compass tattoo but I fucking love it lmaooooo he’s everything

LMAOOO no he is fr like

[joycrispy]

I wanna talk about The Angel Who Would Be Crowley.

Because I had a certain set of expectations, which got thoroughly trashed in the first five minutes of S2, and my genuine response is, "Oh, fuck, yup. You're right. That's WAY better."

Looking around at GO fandom, I'm not alone in this. So let's talk about it.

Basically, a lot of people (myself included) believed that he was a high-ranking angel, and therefore as chilly and remote as every other powerful angel we'd seen at that point. We pictured Crowley-To-Be as long-haired, regal and imposing --and the fanart at the time reflected this. I'd link some if Tumblr didn't hate links.

Something like this:

We were collectively drawing on a few things --mostly, Crawly's appearance and general bearing in the Biblical scenes of S1--

--But also scattered hints of his importance, backed up by conspicuous absences in Heaven and a few profound displays of power. That's all better covered elsewhere, so I won't reiterate the arguments here. All I'm saying is: I think our headcanons were justified.

But it turns out he was this:

!!!

With his curly little--!!

And his neat white--!!

IT TURNS OUT, he was an angel who squeaked and squealed when he was happy; who flailed his arms around and made explosion noises with his mouth to explain nebulas; who preened when told his stars were pretty. Furfur, who knew him before the Fall, says:

"You used to jump on me back, little monkey in a waistcoat..."

(The use of a diminutive there, 'little'...oh, that fascinates me.)

In a pretty huge subversion of expectations, we're given these glimpses of an angel who was sweet, and joyful, and heart-meltingly silly.

In sum...an innocent.

(Perhaps innocent to a troubling degree.

We see how he troubles Aziraphale, during their first conversation. He starts looking around and behind them, checking to make sure that no one can HEAR the blithe and reckless things coming out of this angel's mouth. This angel who talks like he's never been reprimanded in his life; like it's never occurred to him that anyone would want to hurt him.

Before the Beginning, Aziraphale understood Heaven better than he did. The danger is plainly occurring to Aziraphale.)

So now, we the viewers are in on a cruel joke that Aziraphale has known all along, which is that this --THIS-- is the angel who--

*checks notes*

--did a million lightyear freestyle dive into a boiling pool of sulphur. For asking questions.

...Imagine you are Aziraphale, and everything inside you wants to believe Heaven are the Good Guys, and God is Good and Everything She does is capital-R Right...and now try to reconcile that. Keep trying. I don't think he ever totally managed it in 6000 years.

All this gets further complicated when we learn that, despite all of the above, we were still right. That sweet excitable babby up there?

He WAS a powerful and high-ranking angel.

That much is explicitly confirmed, with significant evidence that he could have been among the mightiest of archangels...

...Who apparently accosted his fellow angels for piggyback rides. And was remembered millennia later by those (now fallen) angels as something 'little.'

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

Hell, Aziraphale has known to be wary of the archangels (and the judgements of Heaven in general) since before the Fall even happened. He chooses to believe they are Good; he can't fool himself into thinking they are Safe.

Yet he's absolutely certain that Crowley won't hurt Job's children. Enough to stand in a burning building and say to them, "I can't save you, but don't be afraid. I won't need to."

And what reason does he give?

("I know you."

"You do not know me."

"I know the angel you were.")

What does that tell us about who he was? Is?

("The angel you knew is not me."

But how is Aziraphale supposed to believe that, when he can see him all the time?)

tl;dr --yes, this is better. I love the tragedy of it.

'Innocence died screaming' and all that.

[pin-k-ink]

LONGING ⋆✦⋆ akaashi keiji

synopsis ➸ years of keeping his crush under wraps, and one high school reunion is all it takes for his secret to come out

tags ➸ friends to lovers, mutual pining, teeny tiny bit of angst if you squint hard enough, dry humping, a fuckton of sexual tension, making out, fingering, squirting, unprotected sex, dirty talking, slight asphyxiation

wc ➸ 6.3k

The buzz of your doorbell jolted you from fussing with your hair in front of the mirror. You glanced at the clock and felt a grin tug at your lips - of course Keiji would be precisely on time.

Giving yourself one last satisfied once-over, you hurried to let your best friend in before he could start overthinking that you'd somehow gotten cold feet about attending Fukurodani's reunion together.

As expected, Keiji stood in the hallway looking every bit the suave professional he'd become since graduating - tailored slacks, crisp button-down, and sleek glasses framing those intense eyes that had always captured your attention so thoroughly.

"There you are," he greeted, the barest hint of relief flickering across his handsome features as you gestured him inside quickly. "I was beginning to think you got so caught up with getting gorgeous for the reunion that you'd forgotten all about me entirely."

You snorted as he brushed past you into the apartment, purposefully bumping his shoulder in playful reprimand. "As if I could ever forget my favorite human reminder to be on time for once in my life, Keiji."

He arched one dark brow over the rims of his glasses in that undeniably attractive way you'd always envied. "I seem to recall having to put that skill to use on hundreds of occasions during my years as your saintly upperclassman, [Y/N]."

"Yeah, yeah - keep reminding me why I put up with your nagging all these years," you shot back with a wink, hoping to distract from the way your pulse had already kicked up at his proximity.

Though the casual back-and-forth came easily, you couldn't quite tamp down the rising flutters erupting in your belly lately whenever you found yourself in Keiji's immediate orbit. An ember of long-simmering attraction had steadily been stoked higher over the last few months until immolating pretty much every rational thought and good intention you had whenever he was near.

Not that you'd ever dream of jeopardizing the profound friendship you'd somehow managed to maintain with Akaashi over the years since high school. No, you were an expert at strangling those sorts of misplaced feelings down into submission by now - filing them neatly into the box labeled "pining hopelessly for your gorgeous and completely oblivious best friend."

"Hey, I thought you mentioned needing some help with getting all dolled up properly for tonight's reminiscing," Keiji prompted in a tone you knew all too well. "I'd hate to keep the old coach waiting on my account after you put in such...diligent effort."

You swallowed hard at the sudden weight in his molten regard, feeling heat bloom across your cheeks before you could look away. When Akaashi was in one of his rare teasing moods, those beautiful eyes would blaze with wicked intent that never failed to rob you of rationality entirely.

"R-Right, um...yeah." Unable to meet his heavy-lidded stare for too long, you whirled towards your open bedroom door to grant Keiji an unobstructed view of your entire form. "Thought you could help me get into this stupid dress for real this time? I swear the zipper was made for octopus tentacles or something..."

Without waiting for his confirmation, you padded towards the center of the room before reaching up to loosen the soft terrycloth robe you'd been lounging in while primping. With your back deliberately angled towards Akaashi, you allowed the plush fabric to slither off one bare shoulder teasingly before pooling in a puddle around your bare feet.

Knowing Keiji's gaze was suddenly riveted to your ass - all plump flesh and defined feminine curves left clad in lace - made the muscles of your abdomen tighten further with nervous anticipation. For one endless, delirious beat, you made no move to cover up or retrieve your slinky evening dress from where it lay draped invitingly over the foot of your bed.

Only when you heard the slightest, nearly inaudible intake of breath from behind did you finally turn to face Akaashi with deliberately unhurried movements. His jaw had gone slack slightly, those stunning mercury eyes blown wide at the vision of your unclothed figure before him.

"So...zipper?" you managed to husk out, tilting your chin up in silent challenge.

Keiji's throat bobbed sharply, a muscle in his forearm flexing beneath the crisp fabric of his shirt as he drank you in with naked hunger now radiating off him in waves. Rather than answer you directly, he simply closed the distance between your bodies in a few prowling strides - all leonine grace and banked masculine intensity in that familiar way that punched the air from your lungs.

When Akaashi reached for the sleek material of your dress at last, it was with a tenderness that bordered on reverence entirely at odds with his penetrating stare. He smoothed his palms over the sumptuous fabric with whisper-light caresses before grasping the hem and lifting it over your hips in one slow, luxurious glide until you were engulfed entirely.

As the plunging neckline settled into place, cradling your breasts in an alluring swell of cleavage, you watched a muscle leap in Keiji's tensed jaw. His heavy-lidded regard scorched every newly revealed inch of skin with naked adoration - pupils blown so wide, they swallowed up almost all the silvery irises.

You bit back a whimpering keen as his elegant fingers drifted up your sides, callused whorls skating over hypersensitive nerves until goosebumps erupted in their wake. Then those big, warm palms found the dip of your waist, thumbs kneading into the supple curves of your hips with audible greed.

Only when Akaashi reached the small zipper nestled right above the curve of your backside did he finally break the smoldering silence in a rough, desire-thickened baritone:

"Breathe out for me, beautiful..."

The endearment hit your senses like a battering ram of pure sin - turning your knees to liquid and making your belly swoop with sheer, visceral need. But you obeyed Keiji's gruff command without hesitation, releasing your captured breath in a shuddering exhale.

As your curves softened and yielded, he seized the zipper's pull in those deft fingers and dragged with agonizing leisure. The rasping glide only heightened the delicious friction of fabric sliding snugly into every lush hollow and dip from the base of your spine all the way up to your nape's fragile notch.

Once the zipper teeth finally merged into completion beneath Akaashi's shuddering exhale of masculine approval, his palms clamped down over your shoulder blades in another possessive span. He used that commanding hold to tug you back against the rigid planes of his sculpted chest - every inch of your yielding softness compressed against his relentless, grounding bulk.

"Always so diligent about being on time, aren't you?" Keiji growled out against your nape in that rough rasp that made you shake. "But I still seem to recall the trouble you had following instructions properly..."

His callused fingertips blazed a searing path upwards, sweeping away the tousled tresses at the base of your skull to reveal the vulnerable nape fully. Then hot velvet glided over the sensitized flesh there - Keiji's sinful mouth alternating delicious suction with addictive nips until you arched back against him with a strangled whimper.

"So tonight, I think I'll enjoy being extra thorough about ensuring my good girl receives some...firmer correction in that area, hmm?" he husked out in a voice gone smoky and decadent with promised rapture.

The next glide of his velvet tongue over your thundering pulse punched the air from your lungs entirely. You could only whimper and shudder back against Akaashi's broad chest helplessly as he growled in approval - teeth raking over your sensitized flesh in stinging reprimand before soothing with reverent swipes of his scorching mouth once more.

"K-Keiji..." you stammered out breathlessly, nails raking over his forearms in silent pleading. "We're going to be...ohhhh..."

Whatever feeble protest you'd tried to voice fractured into a broken moan as Akaashi hauled you flush against his body again, hips rolling forward to grind his semi-erect cock between the yielding curves of your ass. Rational thought scattered like ashes as he caged you in the furnace of his embrace completely - all searing heat and covetous possession.

For several heartbeats that seemed to stretch into delirious eternity, you simply surrendered yourself over to the frantic glide of his palms mapping every lush hollow and flare of your quivering figure. Each rasping inhale against the sensitive whorls of your ear brought you crashing higher towards blissful oblivion as Keiji claimed every quaking inch without mercy.

Then, just as abruptly as his onslaught had begun, Akaashi withdrew enough to allow you both to draw trembling gulps of oxygen into your scorched lungs anew. The absence of his grounding bulk against your back made you keen in silent protest, swaying unsteadily despite the steadying bands of his forearms anchored across your lower abdomen in a possessive span.

"Steady, beautiful..." he rumbled out in that velvet purr gone molten and rough around the edges like caskstrength whiskey. "Can't go having my pretty girl feeling too wrecked before we even make it to celebrating with the others properly now, can we?"

You whimpered at his dark chuckle vibrating through your hypersensitized nerves anew like rapturous scripture. Keiji tilted your chin back with purposeful tenderness until your glazed eyes could drink in the undisguised adoration blazing in his quicksilver regard at last.

"Don't worry...we'll have all the time we need for me to give you the proper attention you deserve later tonight," he vowed fervently against your parted lips, that same banked promise to stoke your deepest longings to smoldering resonance. "But for now...I intend to ensure we're both right on time for once."

With a final lingering sip of your gasping exhales, Akaashi tore himself away before your needy whimpers could undo him completely. You already missed his solid tether against your trembling frame as he stalked towards the bedroom door purposefully.

Unable to offer more than a breathless nod, you trailed after his powerful figure, senses still swimming in delicious vertigo. At the threshold, Keiji paused to rake one last smoldering look over your mussed, heaving form that robbed you of breath anew for entirely different reasons now.

Then he curved one palm over the exposed column of your throat, exerting the faintest but utterly thrilling pressure against your thundering pulse point briefly.

"Behave yourself out there, sweet girl." The silken purr rumbled straight through your most secret depths with merciless possession. "Or I can't make any promises about the consequences."

With that husked benediction and one final wicked smirk, Akaashi swept from the room entirely - leaving you swaying and utterly transfixed in the wake of his gravitational pull even now. You spent several eternal seconds drinking in the heady remnants of his cologne and virile presence before finally gathering your scattered wits enough to follow dutifully.

As you fell into step beside him on the short trek towards the gymnasium where the reunion was being held, Keiji maintained his usual casual elegance and unhurried cadence. While you steadily felt the blushing inferno of desire simmering higher between your tangled forms with each measured stride shared - awakened and beckoned towards the rapturous dawn now finally glimmering on the horizon for you both.

By the time Akaashi ushered you inside to the familiar, sweeping arena where so many unforgettable memories had first been made, you could feel the weight of his searing stare prickling over your nerve endings in delicious warning. The charged promise of new indulgences and corrections soon to replace whatever faded imprints of nostalgia this night initially promised now seared into the very fiber of your quivering senses instead.

Before you could even begin acclimating to the buzzing energy of friends and long-unseen faces surrounding you both, a familiar loud voice bellowed your name across the noisy room. Your stomach dropped as a blur of spiky silver hair and solid muscle came barreling directly for your rigid position.

Then, without warning, Bokuto seized you up in his arms in a crushingly tight embrace that lifted you clean off the floor - spinning you both around recklessly before planting a sloppy, exuberant kiss to your cheek.

"Kou, get off her already!" someone scolded through peals of raucous laughter you recognized instantly.

Not even Bokuto's overzealous affection could fully distract you from the heated promise radiating off Keiji's elegant frame, however. Over the cacophony of greetings and riotous jeers, you met his hooded, burning gaze across the crowd of old teammates already swarming to pull the rowdy ace off you once more.

Akaashi remained utterly motionless, poised like some indolent yet ravenous panther drinking in the maddening scene of his most coveted prize being so thoroughly disheveled and discomposed by another's hands. Those striking mercurial eyes drifted over your mussed form hungrily - silently assuring you that no audience or mitigating circumstances would prevent him from prying you back beneath his sole dominion and possession once granted any sliver of opportunity again soon...

The rest of the night devolved into a joyous blur of warm reunions and fond recollections after that. You allowed yourself to be swept up in the infectious energy, bouncing effortlessly between your other senpais and former fellow managers while basking in Akaashi's patient presence always lingering nearby.

At some point, the reminiscing led to a boisterous drinking game where various members of the old team were challenged to see who could recall the most embarrassingly scandalous stories from your shared glory days as Fukurodani's underrated secret weapons behind the scenes.

As more and more playful jabs and teasing anecdotes surfaced, you found yourself flush with nostalgic glee - trading wide grins with Keiji over the festivities despite everything left so deliriously unresolved still simmering between you both.

Until, at the apex of one particularly rowdy set of jeers led by Konoha and Komi, someone blurted out the hushed truth that had been skirted around all night so far in perfect blithe innocence:

"Oh come on, as if any of us could forget how hopelessly gone Akaashi was over our precious little manager back in the day!"

An brief hush descended over the raucous scene punctuated by several muffled giggles and sidelong looks directed straight at your dumbfounded expression. Keiji, seated ramrod straight beside you, stiffened almost imperceptibly - spine going rigid as his jaw tensed around whatever measured response no doubt brimming behind those inscrutable features.

Konoha, seemingly oblivious to the charged tension suddenly permeating those nearest you both, doubled over into another peal of riotous laughter as your eyes went wide.

"Yeah right, like anyone missed the real story behind all that vicious guy-liner and constant hovering Akaashi was slinging towards you each game all year!" He cackled hoarsely, wiping at the tears streaming down his cheeks. "My man here was crazy about our girl from day one, we all saw it..."

The former wing spiker reached over and flicked Keiji's shoulder bracingly, still cackling away as if utterly unaware of the bone-deep unraveling now gripping your senses tighter with every oblivious word flung out. As the others around you both rapidly followed suit - jeering and hurling more confirming anecdotes from their firsthand witness perspective into the echoing silence, you felt your lungs steadily constricting in rising panic.

All this time...through the countless memories replaying in high definition and nostalgia alike...Akaashi had carried the weight of this revelation with him the entire time? Your thundering thoughts scattered in a million dizzying directions as you turned to finally meet his profile in frantic hope of...what, exactly?

But before your questioning gaze could connect with his own, Keiji inhaled one low, shuddering breath. Then he rose from his seat with the same leonine grace you'd always admired and revered beyond measure so many years perviously. The curt clearing of his throat cut through the ruckus as efficiently as any blade while also signalling you to remain seated this time instinctively.

As all gazes swiveled towards his towering silhouette abruptly, Akaashi simply smoothed out the crisp lines of his shirt and pants with careful, unhurried motions. Then he directed that weighted, unreadable stare down at your widened expression - full lips quirking faintly upwards in something resembling rueful wryness you'd so rarely witnessed adorning his features before tonight.

"I trust this concludes the roasting portion of our scheduled nostalgia then, wouldn't you all agree?" He intoned in that rich, unhurried baritone that never failed to make your pulse thunder.

Despite the weight behind his words, Keiji simply arched one brow and waved a dismissive hand as the sheepish laughter died down around you.

"Seriously though, we're long overdue to be heading out," he told the group easily. "I've got an early call time at the office tomorrow and all."

You blinked, shooting him a confused look that Akaashi pointedly ignored in favor of rising smoothly to his feet. Only when he turned his piercing stare your way did you hurry to follow suit instinctively.

"Grab your things, beautiful. No need to stick around and get the full nostalgia roast treatment on my account," he murmured, dipping his chin in a subtle beckoning gesture no one else would've noticed.

Heat lanced straight through your core at his husked endearment and suggestive tone - worlds apart from the casual nonchalance he presented mere moments ago. You swallowed hard against the renewed longing already coiling low in your belly, bobbing your head as you scrambled to gather your purse with hands that definitely didn't tremble whatsoever.

The sly, knowing look Akaashi shot you as you drew flush against his side made it abundantly clear he enjoyed flustering you like this far too much to behave himself properly. As chuckles and farewells echoed around you, Keiji steered you along with one large palm curving over the small of your back possessively.

"Good seeing you boys again," he tossed over his shoulder, somehow managing to sound nonchalant as ever. "We'll have to do this without the nostalgia next time, hm?"

You ducked your head to hide the fierce blush you could already feel heating your cheeks, practically stumbling along under Akaashi's casual guidance. A few rowdy hollers from the rapidly vanishing group drifted after you, laced with teasing insinuation you didn't even try puzzling out under his molten stare.

The trek towards your humble apartment passed in thick silence, every inhale filling your lungs with the rich, spicy scent of Keiji's cologne. Each brush of his unhurried footfalls against yours made the heated tension simmering between your forms amplify tenfold - bristling awareness dancing along your sensitized nerves in delirious promise.

You were so absorbed in monitoring the steadily mounting tension radiating off Akaashi, you startled slightly when you arrived at your front door without realizing it. Brows furrowing, you turned to bid him the usual polite thanks, only for the words to shrivel entirely under the sheer intensity of his pewter stare at such proximity.

Rather than offer any cursory dismissal, Keiji leveled you with a look of naked yearning that felt like having all the air sucked from your lungs in the most dizzying way. He took a measured step closer, boxing you in against the cool wood with the solid brand of his chest - stoking the mounting inferno already pulsing behind your bellybutton higher.

"You gonna invite me inside tonight, pretty?" Akaashi husked out in a voice gone low and rough with undisguised masculine intent. "Or will I finally get to experience what it's like having you turn me away after all these years?"

The blatant, ravenous implication drenching each rumbling syllable made your knees go weak. You remembered Keiji's own admission about harboring long-simmering feelings you'd somehow managed to overlook - the thought that you might have inadvertently rejected his quiet hopes so many times before tonight.

"Keiji, I...I didn't realize..." you stammered out through the rapidly spiraling haze of arousal clouding your thoughts. "That you felt that way back then too..."

Rather than respond, Keiji smoothed his palm along your jaw and tipped your chin up in silent demand. Heat poured into your cheeks anew at his scorching regard sweeping down the vulnerable column of your throat purposefully.

"No need for apologies," he murmured in a thread of gravelly velvet that made you shudder. "You're making up for any lingering regrets of mine in spades tonight, aren't you, pretty girl?"

You whimpered helplessly at the dark promise laced through his rasping benediction, every nerve ending hyper-focused on the molten glide of his touch meandering lower to palm your breast through the thin fabric covering you. Keiji hummed his deep approval as your nipple pebbled responsively beneath his calloused fingertips, hips rocking forward in a slow grind.

"In fact," he rumbled out, pressing you harder against the door as arousal thundered through your joined forms alike. "I can't wait to finally get my hands on unwrapping you properly...the way I should've been the only one to experience back when you were all dolled up in high school too."

Your breath hitched sharply at those rough-edged words, swaying closer into Akaashi's scorching orbit instinctively despite the steel barrier at your back. Any last lingering inhibitions dissolved completely as his full lips ghosted over the thundering pulse at your throat in exquisite prelude.

"So what's it gonna be?" Keiji growled out in a low rasp gone absolutely molten with naked promise. "You gonna let me prove how goddamn crazy I've always been for you, sweetheart? Or am I just gonna have to keep holding myself back from doing all the filthy things I've spent years fantasizing about now?"

Unable to do anything more than shake your head in a jerky negative, you tilted your neck in blatant offering instead. Akaashi snarled his deep approval, crashing his mouth over yours in a searing, demanding glide that robbed what little breath remained in your lungs.

Before you could wind your arms around him properly, Keiji angled you away from the door just far enough to delve his clever fingers beneath the hem of your skirt - palming the lush curves of your ass in a possessive brand as he hoisted your pliant form up against his powerful chest.

"I'm gonna take such good care of you, pretty," he growled in reassurance as you wound your trembling limbs around his sturdy frame instinctively. "Make up for any lingering regret or uncertainty on your part, hm? You're not going to doubt the way I feel about you ever again once I'm through with you...promise."

With one last searing kiss punctuated by his molten growl of possession, Akaashi twisted the front door's handle and strode inside with you anchored in his arms fully. You swallowed hard at the blazing promise etched across his ruggedly handsome features in the low lamp light, heart galloping wildly as something profound threatened to catch fire beneath your thundering ribs.

But the words you wanted to say so desperately to Keiji couldn't break free as he wasted no time in marching you straight towards your bedroom without a single fumble or misstep. As if he'd already scoped out the layout and memorized every detail in advance.

As if he'd already been planning this exact scenario for ages and knew exactly what to expect in his most fevered dreams and wildest fantasies alike.

The knowledge made you shiver as Akaashi set you down atop the rumpled bedsheets you'd barely bothered to straighten earlier, peeling the tight confines of his button-down away with deft movements that sent your pulse skittering faster. You reached for him eagerly, only for Keiji to pin your wrists down against the sheets with a soft chuckle.

"Easy, sweetheart," he chided in a velvet rasp that made you whine softly. "I've been waiting a very long time to finally get my hands on you, remember? There's no rush here..."

He smirked knowingly at the protesting noise that fell from your parted lips, trailing his palms up your flanks languidly to trace the dip of your cleavage. When Keiji tugged the thin straps of your dress aside to bare the flushed mounds of your breasts in a single smooth motion, he hummed his appreciation at the sight.

"I want to enjoy every second of you spread out for me so prettily," Akaashi admitted on a low, rumbling murmur before he grabbed the fat of your hips and flipped you over with deceptive ease. "Let's get rid of all this, shall we? It’s only fair since I was the one who helped you put it on."

Before you could process the shift, Keiji's warm touch slid along the curve of your spine - gathering up the zipper at your lower back and dragging it down excruciatingly slowly. You bit back a moan as the dress pooled around your waist in a shimmering cascade, leaving you bared to his burning gaze once more.

Only this time, the sensation of being utterly at Akaashi's mercy was infinitely more overwhelming than before. You were still reeling from the sudden shift in your reality, trying to grapple with the knowledge that your oldest friend had been harboring these feelings towards you for just as long as you'd done the same towards him.

And yet, you were also keenly aware that the only thing stopping Keiji from devouring you whole and claiming you fully was the last vestiges of his ironclad control. That he was currently restraining himself despite his obvious yearning, waiting for you to voice some sign of hesitation or resistance that would shatter the fragile thread of restraint keeping him from snapping completely.

It made you shiver to think about the untold possibilities awaiting you if you were bold enough to push him past the brink. How far he would go to make you his, to prove his devotion and claim you in a way no other man would ever be able to surpass.

As Akaashi's fingertips brushed against the swell of your ass, the molten realization sank deeper that he was the only one you wanted to push like this. The only person who could break you apart and remake you in the blistering heat of his consuming embrace, over and over again.

"Keiji," you gasped out his name, arching your back in silent supplication as his large hands gripped the fabric pooling around your hips and tugged the garment away entirely. "Please..."

Rather than the teasing rebuke you were expecting, Keiji's breath hitched at the sound of his name tumbling from your lips so desperately. He smoothed his palm down the graceful line of your spine, tracing the dip at the base before trailing along the curve of your ass in a deliberate caress.

"Mmm, I can't get enough of hearing you say my name like that, pretty," he rasped, his thumb sliding against your slick folds and rubbing a torturous circle around the swollen bud of your clit. "You have no idea how hard it was holding back all night...just watching you from the sidelines and not being able to do a damn thing about it."

His other hand curled around the plump mound of your ass, squeezing and massaging the flesh possessively as he sank his fingers into the dripping heat of your pussy with a pleased groan. You jolted as the thick digits pressed deeper, arching your hips back to encourage the delicious pressure.

"But that's just it, isn't it?" Akaashi murmured, leaning over your prone form to press his weight against you - surrounding and trapping you in the best way. "I was the one waiting, while you had no idea what was happening all this time...what a shame, really."

Before you could protest, the hand kneading your ass drifted upwards - gripping the nape of your neck in a firm squeeze, forcing your cheek down against the mattress as you trembled and mewled beneath his punishing grip.

"You could've had me all this time, sweetheart," he growled in your ear, curling his fingers inside your aching core and rubbing against the spongy bundle of nerves he knew would unravel you at the seams. "Had me wrapped around your little finger from day one, didn’t you? All you had to do was ask, pretty. Say the word and I would've fallen to my knees right there and then, just to worship your sweet pussy like the fucking goddess you are."

Your eyes fluttered closed as pleasure coiled tight and molten behind your bellybutton, the friction of Akaashi's skilled touch driving you steadily towards the precipice. Keiji's hot, ragged breaths spilled over your fevered skin as his thumb teased mercilessly at your clit in a way that left you shuddering and panting.

"Fuck," he grunted out, grinding the hard outline of his cock against your thigh as your inner walls clenched around him hungrily. "How many times do you think I jerked off to the thought of this, huh? Wanted nothing more than to fuck you right up against the lockers back in high school...fuck, I almost gave in once."

The admission sent a thrill through your bloodstream, heat flushing higher as your thighs trembled at the sudden onslaught of his rumbled admissions. The thought of him bending you over the cool metal and taking you from behind while the entire team changed around you - the knowledge that he was the only one allowed to do that now - had you moaning shamelessly into the mattress.

Akaashi's deep chuckle reverberated through his chest, pressing harder against your neck as the rhythm of his fingers increased to something borderline punishing. His voice dropped lower, rougher with unmistakable lust that made your nipples tighten even more against the sheets.

"But that was just the beginning, pretty," he husked out, curling his thick digits deeper into the molten heat of your pussy and making you cry out. "You have no idea how often I dreamed about this, how fucking good you'd look stretched around my cock...and now I'm finally gonna get to see for myself."

Your breath hitched, a strangled whine tumbling from your lips as his skilled fingers drove you closer and closer to the edge. But Akaashi knew your body too well by now, and his touch vanished abruptly before you could reach your peak.

The sound of his zipper coming undone and the rustle of his slacks being discarded filled the hazy space between your forms. Before you could so much as twitch, Keiji was rolling his hips forward and dragging the head of his cock against your drenched pussy.

"F-Fuck, I can't wait anymore," he groaned, notching himself between your folds and grinding his rigid length against your dripping entrance. "Need to feel you, sweetheart. Need to see how well you take my cock like the good girl I know you are."

"Yes," you cried out, rocking back into his scorching embrace with a desperate moan. "P-Please, Keiji...I-I need you too. I want to feel you, please."

The guttural noise that tore from Akaashi's throat at your pleading tone made your pulse race, the hand anchoring your neck in place drifting lower to smooth along your back. You were vaguely aware of his other hand reaching between your joined forms, and the slick, obscene sound of him slicking his length with the abundant moisture trickling from your core.

"Good girl," he purred, notching the fat crown of his cock against your dripping folds and sinking the first few inches into your molten core with a satisfied groan. "Hah, shit...fuck, y-you feel so fucking good, pretty."

You could barely string together a coherent thought, let alone a response, as he rocked deeper and deeper into your quivering pussy with every measured thrust. Each time Keiji hilted himself fully inside you, his thick cock stretched and strained the walls of your pussy in a way that made sparks of heat flare behind your tightly-shut eyelids.

"Look at you," he gritted out, fingers digging into your hips and tugging your ass higher into the air. "F-Fuck, taking my cock like a goddamn champ, aren't you?"

You whimpered and writhed beneath him, but his strong grip held you in place. The angle left you utterly defenseless as Akaashi bottomed out and started fucking into you with deep, languid strokes - each one punctuated with a filthy, wet slap that made the pressure mounting inside your core even more unbearable.

"Ngh, K-Keiji..." you moaned, clutching the bedsheets desperately and biting back another cry as he leaned over your pliant form to curl a hand around your jaw. "S-So good, fuck...please."

His low chuckle reverberated through his sturdy form, the rhythmic drag of his cock driving deeper as he panted hotly against the curve of your ear. You gasped, shuddering as his free hand wound around the delicate column of your throat in a light squeeze, his other hand braced on the mattress.

"Please what, pretty?" he husked out, a ragged grunt tearing free as his thrusts quickened in intensity. "Tell me what you want, hm? You gotta use your words."

"H-Harder, Keiji," you stammered, arching your back and meeting his powerful movements as best you could. "F-Fuck, please, I-I need..."

His fingers tightened around your throat, just enough to force you to gasp out your next breath. It was the only warning you had before Akaashi drew back and slammed into you with such force that the entire bedframe shuddered and rocked.

"Like this, pretty girl?" he growled out, the punishing tempo of his thrusts sending you teetering dangerously close to the edge. "That what you wanted? Fuck, you're taking me so well, baby...shit."

All you could manage in response was a desperate cry, nails digging into the sheets as you clung to them for dear life. Pleasure coiled tight and hot behind your navel, winding tighter and tighter as he drove his cock into you at a brutal pace that left you unable to catch your breath.

Keiji grunted and snarled, his rhythm growing unsteady as he chased the same release building within your own body. The hand braced on the mattress disappeared momentarily before snaking around your front, and when Akaashi's clever fingers found your swollen clit and rubbed the slick nub in frantic circles, it was all over.

"K-Keiji!" you cried out his name, thighs trembling as an orgasm crashed over your frame. You could barely catch your breath as you quivered and writhed, an obscene amount of hot liquid gushing out from where you were joined and spilling onto the sheets below.

"Fuck," Akaashi's breath hitched, the hand around your throat disappearing in favor of both palms grabbing hold of your hips. He yanked your pliant form back, fucking you through the aftershocks of your release as his own cock throbbed inside the molten depths of your pussy.

"Gonna come," he snarled out, his ragged pants filling the room. "S-sweetheart, can't hold on any longer, fuck...gotta pull out, okay?"

You shook your head furiously, too overcome to articulate anything more than a single syllable as you clenched down hard around him.

"Inside," you sobbed, gasping and shuddering as he snapped his hips against yours roughly. "P-please, Keiji...I need to f-feel it."

Keiji groaned, his fingers digging into the supple flesh of your hips in an iron grip. Your name was torn from his lips on a hoarse shout, his pace turning wild and erratic before he buried his cock as deep as it would go inside you and pulsed hard.

His cum painted the walls of your pussy in thick, molten spurts that had you moaning his name and grinding back into him. The sensation was enough to send you tumbling over the edge again, and you whimpered as you felt another gush of hot liquid spill out from around the thick length of his cock.

Akaashi panted harshly, the last of his cum spilling into your quivering form as he ground his hips against yours. The movement made you shudder and clench around him again, your oversensitive body unable to keep up with the flood of intense sensations overwhelming you.

He hissed softly, his grip on your waist slackening and easing you down to the mattress as the two of you caught your breath. Once he'd slid out of your dripping pussy, Akaashi collapsed beside you - his arms winding around your waist and tugging you firmly against his chest.

You melted into the comforting embrace, tucking your face into his neck and sighing contently as he smoothed a hand down your back. Keiji tilted your chin upwards, claiming your mouth in a tender kiss that made you melt even more.

"Are you alright, sweetheart?" he murmured, pulling away just enough to meet your gaze. "Not too rough, I hope?"

You couldn't help but smile at the concern in his expression, shaking your head.

"I'm perfect, Keiji," you assured him, smoothing your palms along the broad expanse of his chest and leaning in to brush your lips against his again. "Better than perfect, really."

He chuckled, the sound rumbling through his sturdy form. The arm curled around your waist squeezed lightly, a hand tangling in your hair and pulling you into a deep, toe-curling kiss. When the two of you finally parted, Akaashi's expression was tinged with something far warmer than his usual aloof expression.

"Good, because I intend to keep you right here all week," he told you, the promise making your heart flutter wildly. "It's only fair, considering how long I've waited."

You could tell by the glimmer in his eyes that there would be no arguing with him, and if you were honest - the prospect didn't exactly displease you.

"Fine by me," you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth and giggling as he tugged you closer. "You know, I can't help but think of how much more fun we could've been having if you'd just told me how you felt earlier."

"Oh, believe me, sweetheart," Akaashi drawled, the low timbre of his voice making you shiver. "By the time the week's over, you won't be thinking about anything but me."

[swordsofsaturn]

jeeze i'm so. pissed at myself. so angry at myself that i waste my time on shit that doesn't matter or even is just bad. why do i fucking do that

[hoseoksluna]

LIFE | jhs

pairing: military!hobi x f. reader (ft. namjoon)

genre: slow burn ; tension ; converse high trope / smut, tiny fluff

word count: 8.6k

summary: hoseok has always had a secret thing for you and once he learns you're single, he doesn't waste time and knocks on your door. 

pinterest board: life / playlist: listen / taglist: join / discord: join

warnings: mutual pining, hobi is a feet guy, mentions of a partner giving you a cold shoulder and silent treatment, strong tension, praise kink, petting, nipple play, oral sex (f. receiving), overstimulation, slight dd/lg, raw and rough sex, size kink.

note: SHE'S BACK. HOSEOKSLUNA IS BACCKKKKKKKK. HELLO, MY BABIES. I MISSED YOU ALLLLL SOOOO MUCH AND I MISSED WRITING SO MUCH THAT THIS IS SOMETHING I WROTE IN MY YEARNING TOWARDS THE END OF MY HIATUS. fuck, this is way too hot. and i, again, had to take breaks to do something :D actually, i was inspired to write this at 4 am when i landed in my country after my vacation in dubai and got the weverse notification from hobi. :) yep. he ruined me, destroyed me, and i had to start writing. ENJOY THIS FILTHHHHHH. i missed writing abt dd/lg, too.... hehe. let me know what you think. and if you mayhappsss want part two? I LOVE YOU, MY BABIES. MWAH.

Hoseok, at your doorstep bringing in the moonlight before the midnight hour, was not something you quite expected to see when you heard the bell ring. You were lounging around on your couch, clothed in your new silky pajamas that you bought to heal your wounded heart a little, along with a peachy Korean face mask, a banana vape and a vanilla candle that you lit up as soon as you exited the shower. The creamy white sheet is what you were still wearing on the planes on your face when you stood there, taken aback because the man, clad in his military uniform, was certainly not your friend that visited you often. 

Hoseok was a mutual friend. A friend of your best friend Karina… and a friend of your now ex-boyfriend Namjoon. A friend that hated your guts—a friend that could not stand you. 

A friend that would let his eyes linger a little while longer on you upon seeing you on regular night outs and then ignore you for the rest of the event. A friend that would lock his gaze on your intertwined hand with Namjoon’s before narrowing it and scoffing in a private way that you invariably saw through. 

You weren’t stupid. You knew what his deal was—it’s only that you couldn’t do anything about it. You were Namjoon’s for eight wonderful months that were splotchy with the depth of poetry. Words from his heart that would give your life meaning, keep your head up above the surface. You needed those words as you spent your whole girlhood drowning in the sea of FOMO, rowing your arms through the waves of life that never got you anywhere. Seeing the little beauty of day and night of Seoul with your friends paled in comparison with what Namjoon showed you. You always believed that your life would begin with a man by your side—you prayed for it, you waited for it and it became reality. 

But it was not the reality that your body sought in the long run. 

Yes, the sex was great. Significant to your mental development, especially to your female one as you truly did become a woman in his hands, letting the lush girlish version of you die in his palms. As well as the museums, the hikes, the dinner dates that let you in on the complexity of Namjoon’s intellect that you found so profound and full of beauty. 

But as you nearly reached a year with him, your body began to seek more. The flowers beyond the box of your relationship with him—and you knew that those petals carried the scent of Hoseok. 

He liked you. You saw it in the extremity of his purposeful ignorance towards you, in the forced hatefulness he put across, and in the distance he set as a boundary. You saw it, too, in the way he would entertain other women in the bars and glance at you every now and then to make sure you’re seeing what he wants you to see. And it excited you, his interest in you that he kept at bay. 

It was a forbidden fruit that you smelt and smelt, but could never bite into—and it drove you insane. And when he got enlisted in the military, it drove you off a cliff. 

Missing him made you search for him. Not in Namjoon, but in other men. Privately, in your soul. And it cost you your relationship. 

Namjoon was a jealous, possessive man. He would fight with you if you looked at a guy for a beat longer than is necessary and if a half of a smile crept up upon the corner of your lips, he would give you the cold shoulder. An action that cut through you deep enough to make you bleed and you had to put a stop to it. 

You thought talking to him about it like an adult would straighten the road you were walking upon, but like the intelligent man Namjoon is—he knew that what he was giving to you was no longer what you needed. He threw it back at you, using the poetry of his words, and all you could do was be honest with him. Nod your head, tell him he was right, that you were seeking something more. And what surprised you was that Namjoon wasn’t willing to go the extra mile. 

He didn’t consider it. Didn’t mention it. 

He nodded his head, too. And you parted your ways as friends who loved each other and lived an artistic life together. 

And at that moment, a door to your mind opened and Hoseok stepped in. Made a bed, fluffed the pillows, and rested. 

It seems now he has awoken. Rang your doorbell, bashed his fist against the wood and narrowed his eyes at you in his normal fashion. 

An action that weaves a rhythm into that flat, bruised heart of yours. 

His military jacket is slung over his arm. His two black dog tags, hung by a silver chain around his long neck, rattles as the breath of the fresh, autumn evening breezes past, scattering goosebumps along your chocolate-buttered skin. You notice, within the brief silence while you look at each other and exchange words long overdue, that his hair is way shorter. Not buzzed anymore like Namjoon showed you on Hoseok’s first day in the military six months ago, but tousled and sticking out in different directions as if he raked his fingers through the strands a million times over. Your own itch, wrapped around your vape, his beauty heightened by his evident newly-gained manliness washing over you like an icy stream of water. 

You shiver, blaming it internally on the wind, and not on the lightness of the attraction that you feel sinking beneath your skin, overpowering you. 

And that small movement of your body propels Hoseok to speak, at last. 

“I come home to find you single,” he scoffs, his voice deep and raspy, marked possibly by his job in the military. And you feel it marking you just the same, opening windows in the house of your body for that wind to blow in and exhilarate you, help you breathe. “He’s drunk out of his mind, crawling on Jungkook’s lap and you’re here. In your pajamas with a fucking face mask on.” 

Briefly, you furrow your brows, not understanding the meaning of his words. Is he bashing you for not crying your heart out? Or is he bashing his brother for doing whatever it was. Your heart turns halfway, painfully. Those days are gone—those you spent in bed while that broken muscle wept while your body used that time to repose from all the stress it went through, being in an environment it grew out of. 

You sigh, weary of the recollection of that peculiar pain, and show no sight of the turbulence happening within you. “Jungkook must be happy about that.” 

Hoseok chuckles, humorlessly. A chilling noise that erects your bare nipples beneath your pajama button down. Awkwardness slinks down your sternum and you shift your weight on your other foot as Hoseok deepens his gaze down on you. 

Tension settles between you and you use it. You use it, wholeheartedly, as you should have all those months ago. The only thing you ever took advantage of were the touches Namjoon graced your skin with. You’d grab his hand, while Hoseok watched, and bring it underneath the table. Part your mouth, pretending he was touching a sensitive, private place while he was merely drifting his fingers along your thigh. Hoseok would gulp, but he would keep his gaze locked on yours, very much like he’s doing now. It’s the only form of intimate interaction you ever had, save for the heated debates about different things you two did not have in common. 

All else remained hidden in the silence shared between you. 

And it no longer shall. 

If he came all the way here, unannounced, then you shall let fate, one that is enamored with your body, have her way in your life. 

“If you came here to talk about him, then I’m not interested,” you say, letting go of the door and slipping off your face mask, ignoring the hurtful pinpricks along the perimeters of your heart. “If you came here for me, then the door is open.” 

And with that bravery, you pivot on your heel and walk back into the living room, not expecting him to follow you and not expecting him to walk away. You let fate do her thing, and you begin to tap in the essence of the peachy face mask into your skin with quick, gentle slaps. 

You toss the sheet, along with the packaging, into the trash, your hair clipped away from your face whooshing around you with your movement. Kicking off your slides, you hear them bump into something stable, and when you turn around to seek that strange sound, you see Hoseok standing by your armchair near your couch. 

So he did come here for you. You tremble in a different manner, filled with sparks of excitement, and, turning around to sit on the couch, you flush, smiling happily to yourself. 

But all those feelings turn to dust when Hobi kneels by the edge of your couch and fixes your home slippers. Aligns them rightly in front of you so you can comfortably slide your feet into them once you get up. 

Your stomach drops and your fingertips tingle, all of your nerve endings set on blazing fire by that one act of service. 

The first kind thing he’s ever done for you. 

He throws his military jacket over the backrest of the armchair, where he nestles himself. Legs spread, elbows propped on his knees. His long dog tag chain swings back and forth in the sudden, atypical calmness of the atmosphere that you cannot adapt to fully. Not when your mind creates an image of that chain hanging over your face, your neck and your chest when you’re bare and ready for him, laying on your back, all for him to take. 

You bite your lip, tracing the band of your sleep sock with your fingers, and Hoseok’s eyes fall to it. You quickly lift them, sheepish. Distract your mind by opening a package of eye patches and placing them on your dark circles that just won’t leave. His gaze skims over each motion, studying it, wordlessly, and you can’t take it anymore. 

You can’t be the only one who’s brave this evening. 

You take a puff of your vape, inhaling its sweetness, and stare right back at him. A smile, a foolish girlish smile quivers upon your lips. One that you dislike because you did grow out of it, but it seems as though the more you swallow the intensity of his shadowed, violent sea-charged energy, the more you transform back into that little girl you were. 

And the process soaks your panties. 

So much is said in the silence, always has been, but you can’t stand it anymore. 

“You should start talking before I go to bed,” you bite, willing your smile to flatten, and Hoseok kneads his hands. His knuckles bear a faint memory of yellow bruises, veiny and strong as they are, and for a moment you wonder how far his ferocity reaches. 

He showed you little of it. You know he’s capable of doing things that would change you for all eternity, give you a new form that would not wither with age. 

And you yearn for it. Have yearned for it all those months without knowing that was the thing your body sought. The thing Namjoon could never give you. 

Violence. Roughness. The licks of an outraged sea. 

You’re a witness to it sloshing in the pools of his darkened eyes as he chews the provocation you uttered his way. And you can bet he likes the taste. 

“Did he break your heart?” he asks amidst the banana-flavored smoke, his knuckles whitening for a split second as he clenches his fist before relaxing—as if the thought of Namjoon breaking your heart angers him. 

It rouses you, and the way your chest lifts with each breath stimulates your stiffened nipples. The candlelight sways, casting shadows on his worn features, and you’d much rather sit on them than talk about your ex. 

“Did you not hear what I said?” you spit, throwing your vape on the cushion of your couch. Hoseok’s façade splits as he smirks, dropping his gaze for a moment before lifting it back to you. 

He leans back, slouching in the chair. “Answer the question.” 

The sedatedness of his tone stuns you. Your heart begins to thump as well as the bundle of nerves between your folded legs. It has been too long since you had your release. Months upon months. And you’re too weak to not get carried away by these new feelings you’ve shamefully forgotten about. 

The veins from his knuckles travel all the way back to his arms and your brain empties out. Too, too fucking long. You should’ve fooled around with every guy you found attractive, use them for orgasms, make the best of your womanly years, but instead you dwelled at home—in and out of your misery. And now, now it feels as though you’re a virgin, alone for the first time with an older man that enlivens your body. 

And you might as well give him what he asks of you. 

Sucking on your vape for a puff of bravery, you don’t blink as you stare at him through the smoke. You elongate your legs, placing them on the coffee table next to him, your toes facing his outstretched knee, and his eyes, once again, plummet to them. 

“He didn’t break my heart, I broke his,” you say, your words shrouded by that white mist curling out of your mouth, and you watch as his eyes widen en route to yours. 

He didn’t expect that. 

Something about that satisfies you. Selfishly. 

Hoseok runs the pad of his finger across his bottom lip, his head tilted to the side a little bit. “It was about time you did.” 

The searing heat that rushes forward in your cheeks forces your gaze away from him, begs you to look away, but you don’t. A bead of perspiration trickles down your cleavage, one that is visible to him as you couldn’t be bothered to do all the buttons after your shower. But Hoseok’s eyes don’t flick to it. No, he can’t miss this. He can’t miss the gravity of the moment, of the spoken confirmation of the fact that what went on between the two of you for so long is real. You squeeze your thighs together, the thumping in between unbearable, and the longer you bask in his brave words, in the masculinity of his initiative, the more your own poetry begins to rise in you.

If it drags, it’s not meant for you. If it’s fast, it couldn’t wait to meet you. 

And Hoseok notices. It is only when you let out a little, barely hearable sigh that his eyes do travel down to scrutinize your bodily reaction. To your nipples poking through, the shine of your sweat in between your bare breasts, to the friction you’re rubbing—the miniscule grinding movements that you make in order to alleviate yourself of the ache of desperation that you feel. And because you’re baring yourself out for him, he does the unthinkable. 

He lets you see his true face, his façade collapsing at his big, sock-clad feet. 

Hoseok lifts his hips, hides behind the pretense that he’s just making himself more comfortable, but in reality he did it to turn your attention to his lower region. His length, semi-hard yet still long, stands out, protruding from the camo of his pants and you’re hot, hot all over. 

The thumping worsens—and you need him, all of him, to make it better. 

Perceiving that he’s succeeded in his strategy by the way you just won’t stop ogling him, he blushes and hides it, in vain, with outstretched fingers spread across his face. As if he was doing his signature idol move. It’s a riveting sight to behold, a seemingly cold person growing warm from you gaping at that private part of him. 

And you want more. You want to see more places of his body that are flushed. And you want it now. 

“It was about time you and I talked alone, don’t you think?” you ask, following on from his previous statement. All that pining, those stolen glances, that distance—all that tension advances forward now, stronger than ever.

Hoseok can feel it, too. At your words, his manhood grows harder and his breathing quickens. He tries to stabilize it, but he fails. He fails even when he returns to his original position with his elbows propped on his knees. That chain of his swings with more momentum, teasing you, and you place your legs even closer towards him, and upon witnessing the light flash in his eyes, you realize that you teased him right back. 

The man likes feet.

You draw in a sharp breath when he fists both of your feet in one hand, brushing his thumb over the tips of your toes. The first touch in this lifetime, the first time upon your new virgin body, so intimate, private; he might as well have wrapped a blanket around them with how warm his hand is, secure and trustful. Goosebumps flood your skin, bringing in the iciness that you felt when you took in his beauty against the background of the trees and the moonlight. And its beams must be stitched around his fingers because daintiness clasps you close, the notion that you’re taken care of, in good hands, descending upon you like the most delicate feather tickling you, and you let it—you let it consume you. 

And you let his following question consume you just as much. 

“Were you in love with him?” 

It’s a question you never had the bravery to ask yourself in the two months you’ve been single, but it is here and you welcome it. You hear it whisper to you the hint of your answer and your body is smart enough, capable enough to figure it out. 

No need for long nights of overthinking. 

No need for long hours of listening to your heart crack.

“No, I was used to him—that’s different,” you hush out and the moon lowers herself, spilling through your windows, bathing you in a milky light that feels as welcoming, as right as your confession. And maybe, just maybe it’s the way the shining stream submerges in your neediness that drives you to be bratty. And briefly, before you do, you ponder over the fact how in your life shared with this person drives, moves forward. There’s never a still time—and you find that mesmerizing. Enough for you to simply brood in greed. “What’s it to you?” 

Hoseok flinches. Parts his mouth. His chain rattles and his fingers squeeze the balls of your feet, coaxing a hum out of you that is immediately silenced by his sudden outburst. 

“What’s it to me?” 

There it is. Another plot point. Your heart hammers. 

Hoseok lets go of your feet and you lament the absence. Stands up and towers over you, the moonshine soaking him in divine light that causes your breath to hitch in your throat. A faint layer of sweat has coasted along his hairline and settled there—and you long to swim in his bodily fluids. In the persona of his, in the tumultuous sea of the tension locked within him. 

“You’re genuinely asking me this question?” he pressures, lifting your legs in order to step in between them, and the unthinkable visits you once again. He props his hands on either side of your head and those two dog tags swing in your face. 

A wet patch forms in the center of your pajamas. Your breath mirrors his—hasty, deep and strained—and you can’t take it anymore. 

How far into this road of bravery until the moon averts its opaque eyes away from your sin? 

You arch your spine, hook your fingers on his dog tags and pull him a little closer. Breathe his air, breathe in his masculine, musky scent that intoxicates your senses to the point that there is absolutely nothing stopping you from getting dragged in the natural flow of this situation. 

“Yes, Hoseok. What’s it to you?” 

He pants. Glides, delicately, his fingers along your arm until he winds up at your small fist, clutching it in his as if it was his. And that warmth, you want to dip your head in it. 

“I had to watch you sit in that chair and not crack a smile. Sit next to him like an obedient girl, not allowed to speak. To me,” he grunts, tightening his lips, and that anger of his seeps into you, becoming yours. “He didn’t deserve you. You’re not a pretty toy. You’re a person.” 

He straightens but, panicking, you draw him right back by that chain. “Don’t fucking walk away from me.” 

He seethes and you feel your essence trickling down your thigh. That sea, inching forward, you whimper. And then he spreads that warmth over the crown of your head, rubbing your hairline just once with his thumb before he peels off your eye patches that you have forgotten about. 

And this is when your brows curl. This is the time that says there’s no going back. 

“I talked to you. We fought, don’t you remember?” 

He sweeps that digit over that soaked dark circle of yours underneath your eye. “What do you think would’ve happened to you if I talked to you nicely?” 

Cold shoulder. Uncomfortable time of forced aloneness, filled with the abyss of guilt that you had done something wrong. A toy that didn’t move its lifeless limbs right by his will. 

“I’ve known him for far longer than you. I know how he treats those he thinks he loves. I brushed it away with the others, but with you… I couldn’t. You were so full of life that was stuck in you because of him. Because he didn’t let you let it out. And I can’t forgive him for that.” 

What life? The one you searched for all your girlhood, the one Namjoon molded with his own hands until it no longer recognized the once-familiar lines of his palm? The one that yearned for Hoseok instead? 

A film of tears clouds your eyes and as hard as you try to blink them away, they linger, pooling at your waterline like sea foam. You need your vape, you need him inside you—you can’t face the mirror of the reality of that unfair treatment. 

How blind you were; how Hoseok has become that guiding stick. 

“Don’t forgive him,” you utter, grasping his chain tighter, drawing him even closer, making his breath tremble. The first tear that pours out leaks into the print of his thumb and at the sound of your soft cry, Hoseok topples. Kneels on the couch with your legs on either side of him and you pull, you pull him closer. 

“Do you want me?” he asks—a foolish, foolish question. Presses his forehead against yours, cups your face with both hands now while his back shakes and you touch it, you drag your fingernails down those prominent muscles. And he sighs, so desperately, so tenderly. “Do you want me to let out that life in you?” 

“Yes,” you whisper, sliding your hands underneath his black shirt, scratching the lowest part of his warm, warm waist before hooking your fingers on the waistband of his pants. It’s his—it always belonged to him. “Take me. Here.” 

He brushes his nose against yours, your breath and his singular. “You’re so feisty.” Lips nearly touch yours and your lungs give out on you, your air coming out in pathetic staccatos that make him growl, subduedly. Muscles rigid, bundle of nerves devoutly pulsing. Please, please. “But no.” 

The world implodes, the mocking shimmer of that planetary light gushing through—hand in hand with sobriety. 

But Hoseok, the prince of the unthinkable, dips your head back into that darkness. Lifts you by your armpits and sets you down on his lap, his hard length against your core uprearing your need for release. 

A hand sailing down your neck, your sternum, acknowledging itself with your respiration. “Don’t give it to me that easily.” 

Your own cages him there, right at the apex of the fleshiness of your breasts. “Jebal, Hobi.” 

Please, Hobi. You drive, in his fashion, your hips forward—ever so slightly. His eyes round at the mellow variation of his name wandering out of your mouth and wrapping around his neck, as if the gentleness you give him pains him, transforms into a noose around his vocal cords and he can’t speak. 

He sighs, the noise melting into a soft, low-pitched moan. “Don’t beg me,” he croaks out, so terribly strung out. “I’m-I’m—”

You lengthen your spine, closing your mouth over that one spot on the side of his throat that you can reach, silencing him. He doesn’t need to speak—you’re fine with the tacit language of his hands. And the taste of his skin, that fucking warmth dissolving upon your tongue, you can’t help but to moan just the same against him like that, rocking your hips awfully, awfully slowly, driving him to the point of madness that he stood at the edge of for so long. 

“I want you to touch me,” you murmur, tugging his hand lower to the first done button of your silky shirt and it’s him who hooks his fingers over that fabric now. You lick a stripe across the thick vein of his throat, grinding a little harder when you hear him suck in a pained breath. “I want you to feel that life in me and know it’s yours. Jebal, Hoseokie.” 

He grunts, ripping you away from him. You expect his eyes to be narrowed in that typical manner of his, but they’re not. They’re soft, round and glossy, looking down at you, unblinking. A face you’ve never seen before, that feels too, too significant—and you’re not sure if you deserve to get a load of it. Of his pinkish cheeks and downturned mouth, of his fingers agonizingly sluggishly undoing the first button of your shirt. 

Of his sentimentality that you never thought he was so efficient at. 

The sea that has remotely stilled—but you’re still riding the lenient waves, your torso curving with each button popping off as he engraves his warmth into your cold, cold skin. And once he reaches the very last one, he stops. Holds your shirt together, squishing your breasts, waiting for you to lift your head out of the sea water. 

And you do. 

He inches forward, grazing his lips against yours, making you feebly cry out. 

“Did you cry for him?” 

Your cry prolongs, vexation splattering over your arousal, and you’ve had enough of it. You flick your eyes between his, drawing back, flattening your lips in that anger of his that seems to be still flowing in you somewhere. No more, no more Namjoon; no more talk of your past relationship. It’s over, it’s over.

“Stop fucking—”

Hoseok doesn’t relent. Sinks his fingers into the roots of your hair at the nape of your neck to make you listen. “Did you cry for him?” 

Your heart wept, but your eyes didn’t. The tear you shed in front of him was the only liquid emotion that spilled out of you since the day of the break up. “No.” 

He blows a heavy breath of relief that oddly validates you—and light opens in your sensitive bosom. “Good girl.” 

And it is now that Hoseok presses his chest, his dog tags against that light of yours and clamps his mouth down on your top lip, hoisting you a tiny bit to sit you right down on his manhood. His strong arm wraps around your back while the other floats down and curls around your bum, growling into the kiss that he deepens. And then he parts your lips with his, slipping his tongue inside, and the dam breaks between your legs—as well as the quick little whines and squeaks that begin to leak out of your mouth and into his. 

The life in you throbs. 

His cock hardens even more underneath you and he pushes your clit against it, his noises and yours growing louder and louder in tandem until he’s breathless, panting so vivaciously that he needs a moment. A moment to focus on the mess he’s created of you, a glowing ball of rosiness, the prettiest of all flowers—and you feel like it, being looked at like that. 

“I knew you were smart,” he coos, peppering feathery kisses upon your cheek, jaw and chin, descending to the base of your neck. You moan out, fisting his shirt below his collarbones, the continuation of his validation for you nesting in your core. “That life in you will always win. No matter what.” 

You believe him—in fact, there’s nothing left for you to do, but to submit, submit and submit. And it feels like entering a dream that is kind, a reality that appears to be a dream, but is better. An existence smeared with clemency, where you can be a little girl again. 

“Touch it, please.” 

Hoseok hums, kissing the cleft between your clavicles. Shifts forward on the couch so you can rest your spine on the backrest, your head against the wall, and he slides his palms upward from your tummy to the apex of your breasts. You whine, torturously, at the contact, and you shudder and double over when he swipes his thumbs over your still stiffened nipples, buzzing shocks of acute pleasure coursing down your body, rooting in your clit that asks for his fingers, his tongue, but he remains where he is. Transfixed, starving, ravaged. 

He kneads your breasts like he kneaded his hands, with overpowering strength that quickens your blood flow, your body submitting to him and flushing like his does. A sliver of skin that your shirt exposes catches his attention—and at the sight of the flesh of your breasts spilling through, his cock twitches, his breath ragged, eyes droopy and so, so drunk. He pinches your nipples, still through that silken fabric, as if he was punishing you for causing him this unfair pain. 

Knead, flick, pinch. Your noises are obnoxious, his heat in you rising and rising, and you can’t take it anymore. The drum in your clit thuds and you push him away, the pleasure too overwhelming, too good and too arousing. 

And he pushes away the fabric, revealing your perky breasts. A glint settles on the edge of his irises and he gives you a coy smile before he smashes his mouth against yours, moving it in a rhythm that reflects the one in your bundle of nerves. And you grind, you grind like your life depends on it, your nipples and your pussy rubbing against him, against his icy dog tags, getting you closer and closer to your orgasm. And you would come like this had he not physically ripped you away from him. 

Heaving, he focuses, all over again, on the ruination he makes of you. The warmth in you flits so invitingly that you have to touch the places he did—your stomach, your sternum, your breasts. And as you do, you watch his gaze darken, you watch him nod his head, and wipe the corner of his mouth clean, catching his drool. 

“You feel it, don’t you?” he rasps, following the invisible traces you left on your body. Your stomach, your sternum, your breasts. “Right here. Life. Beautiful life.” He teases your hardened nub, circling it with the pads of his fingers, sliding it between his knuckles and squeezing, his smile growing with each shudder of your chest, with each response. “It’s time to make you come and let it out, you ready? Let’s take these off.” 

He tugs off your pajama pants, throws it behind his shoulder, examines the large wet stain on your panties that he coos at, raspily, petting it with his thumb—and you’re so turned on that even such faint touch like that brings you pleasure. You hold onto his arms for dear life, depending on him, trembling when the panties and the shirt are next, tossed upon the pile of your pants. 

You’re bare and he’s still fully dressed. Such titillating unfairness that turns you unhinged, maddened by liveliness your body is diffused with. 

Hoseok pins your legs back. Takes one hand and glides his fingers across your entire femininity, soaking them in the dew he has coaxed out of you, moaning gutturally. 

“He never made you wet like this, did he?” he asks, pride dripping out of him like his masculine pheromones, and with his wet fingers he palms himself. “You don’t even have to answer that. I know. I need to taste you, baby.” 

You don’t even get to fill a lungful of the stuffed, vanilla-scented air and he dives in, keeping your legs glued to your shoulders as he seizes your clit in his mouth, sucking on it briefly before he flattens his tongue all over you. He licks you like a lost man finding an oasis, humming into your heat while he tastes your personal slickness, swallowing everything he sowed. You bang your head on the wall, a numbed pang expanding all throughout your scalp by your claw clip, taking it all, moaning so loudly the whole of Seoul must be hearing you. Even Namjoon in his drunkenness, shameful that he never managed to eat you like this in the eight months you were his to consume. 

Your orgasm inches to you quickly. With half-lidded eyes, you watch the candlelight create sublime, eccentric images on his back. And as if he couldn’t handle the warmth anymore, he peels himself away from you just to take off his shirt, adding it to the pile. He doesn’t let you see his muscular body—he plunges back down, tongue outstretched, flicking the muscle on your swollen clit. He pinches your thigh, your mound, your folds, whimpering onto your flesh, hurrying to close his mouth over you to suck your clit. 

And within that divine suction, you come apart. The beautiful images on his back advance, fluttering on his smooth skin, and you hold him to yourself. The life in you explodes, saturating him in a dimmed, soft-hued, colorful light that he himself must be sensing because he moans, loudly, sinking his index finger inside your clenching hole. You can’t speak, you can’t breathe—you can only feel, you can only take. Your orgasm continues on, a ceaseless stream of delight untwisting in every part of your body. 

And when he begins to fuck you with that finger of his and hits that good spot, your orgasm melts into another one. And this time, you can’t take it. 

You shake so vivaciously that you fall off the edge of the couch, but he catches you. Hoseok unclips your hair and lays you down, propping your hips on the armrest instead and when he bends at the waist and opens his mouth, you scream out your disagreement, pushing him away. 

He blinks at you, mouth sopping wet. “I wasn’t finished.” 

Your oxygen is stuck in your throat, one that gets bespeckled with the beads of your dew. “Hoseokie—”

He traces it, wiping it off, holding you there. Presses his hard, clothed length against your bare pussy, rocking slowly, casting a private, affection-filled shadow with the arch of his body over yours. Hoseok kisses you once, a nasty kiss perfumed with your tangy scent, and you cry out. 

“The fact you can’t take the bare minimum personally offends me. He had you all to himself and he didn’t do his job well,” he mutters, squeezing your throat once. Drags his wet hand down your sternum, grasping a hold of both of your breasts, clenching them until they flush, again, like him. 

There it is, the saltiness of his sea. You yearn for the physical principle of it coating your tongue—for his cum to trickle out of the tip of it like your dew is off of his. And his words, his anger towards his best friend because of you—it heals you in a way you could never heal yourself. Another person seeing you and telling you that you deserve better, it is the most pristine form of remedy there is and you splutter on the whole beauty and compassion of it all, too weak to accept it at once. 

“That’s right,” you agree, as enthusiastically as your dopeness allows you, smiling lopsidedly, heart pounding. “Go slow on me.”

He croons, squeezing his eyes. “My little girl.” 

He buries his face in your neck, kissing you there, and along with the life in you—your heart explodes, too. The finality of your detransformation. Tears of joy ache in the corners of your eyes, the rawness of human fulfillment housing in you for all eternity. 

He kisses his way down to your breasts. “I’ll go slow on you,” he promises, darting out his tongue and flicking it over your nub, making you tremble. He straightens and dances his fingers along your thighs—up to your knees. “Do you want to stop here?” 

You shake your head. Place your feet flat on his toned stomach while you feel your dew dribble down your bum. Hoseok smiles, his mouth curving in that way of his that causes your own stomach to drop. He holds your heels, hooking his finger under the band of your socks and yanking them off. 

And his grin blooms at the sight of your dusty-pink toes, an endeared look thawing his eyes. He rubs them like he did at the beginning of this journey, keeps one at his stomach while he lifts the other one to his mouth. 

Your poor heart skips a beat. 

“Do you want me to fuck you like a little girl like you deserves?” 

He kisses the ball of your foot, doesn’t break the eye contact. Watches your mouth part in absolute astonishment and your cheeks deepen in their hue. And when he kisses it again, slower this time, it wakes you up from your stupefaction, and you lower your free foot down to his clothed cock. Hoseok groans, the sound muffled against your tootsie, shutting his eyes at the impact. Your chest flickers with a sense of pride that you made him react like that—and you want it again. You trail your toes across that length of his, but before you could reach the most sensitive part of him, he stops you. 

Sucks in that pained breath of his, red all over. 

“If you keep doing that, I’m gonna come.” 

You mirror him, the idea of being capable of doing that to him pleasuring you. You leak onto the couch. Your blood boils. 

“That’s so hot.” 

He chuckles, anchoring your foot upon his heart, tapping it with your big toe. “It’s because you have my heart.” 

Your body ceases all work, as well as time. Even the candlelight pauses its dance, concentrating its caressing radiance on that chain of his. 

And you don’t think as you scurry onto your knees and embrace him, his dog tags no longer icy. He plants his nose into your hair, inhaling you, sealing you into the hug with both of his arms. Your heart reaches its own towards his and they cling to each other, too. 

And you’re not afraid to reciprocate his feelings—they’re as clear to you as that very luminescence of the vanilla candle. 

“You have me,” you whisper into his ear, his body not quivering but stable, safe. “You have my life. It’s more of a treasure than my heart.” 

He had you the moment he so evidently disapproved of your past relationship. He had you the moment he was curious to see if you were jealous when he was entertaining other women. He had you the moment he purposefully put a distance between you and him because he didn’t want you to get hurt by Namjoon. 

You just didn’t know it yet, not until clarity arose in front of you in the form of his honesty. 

Hoseok kisses your own ear, lingers there. “I want both.” 

“Then, have it.”

And he kisses your forehead. “Thank you. I’ll take care of it.” 

You can see in the ivory mist of his eyes that he means it—and so you tug off his military belt as you begin to pepper kisses down the column of his neck because he deserves it, because he cares for you, because he came to you as soon as he heard that you were single. And when you reach those dog tags, the words of his title imprinting themselves onto the surface of your lips, you clasp his cock in your hand. Too big for your small fist, too warm for you to handle—

“Lay back down.” 

You bite into the flesh right above that first steel pendant while keeping your eyes locked on his. “Yes, Sergeant.” 

Hoseok curses. Wrings a sharp gasp out of you when he pulls on your hair, giving you a nasty kiss full of tongue. “Don’t call me that when I need to be gentle with you,” he scolds, sucking on your bottom lip to make it better and you disintegrate. “Right now I would bend you over this couch and fuck you until Sergeant and Sir was all you knew, but I can’t do that. Not when you’re not used to me yet.” 

Yes, the promise of the sea—you convulse from head to toe, pining after it. 

“I want that so bad.” 

He nods, marking you on your neck. You whimper and he groans in response. “And I’ll give it to you, you just need to be good now. Lay down.” 

You comply, but you take him with you—grabbing him by that chain as you arch your back on the couch. He lets you, grins at you like the utmost sunshine, but that expression of delight breaks when a certain realization dawns upon him. 

“I didn’t bring any condoms.” 

You huff out a soft noise. “Good. I want you to come all over me.” 

Hoseok hangs his head low, sighing, on all fours above you. His chain swings, drawing the memory of this very night on your breasts. He looks up at you from this position, his eyes thin slits that cause you to clench around nothing. 

“I’ll give you a big load.” 

You beam like the purest angel, in spite of the context. “Yes, please.” 

Hoseok rolls his eyes back, his façade cracking, and he beams just the same, his mouth widening in the shape of a heart that moves through you. He kisses you deeply, a long peck that breaks you down into a putty, and when he withdraws, you can still see that smile plastered on his glowing face. 

“Good girl. Such good manners.” 

And with that praise, he sheathes himself inside you. You both gasp in union, entering a paradise no other human will ever witness in the afterlife. He stretches you out, slowly, careful not to hurt you as he waits it out, petting your hair in the meantime. 

“I can feel you stretching around me, fuck. You’re so warm, so tight for me,” he rasps, panting, that smile trembling on his lips as he tries to keep it together. He straightens, pinches your nipple and you feel yourself accommodating him quicker at that sudden electricity of pleasure, at the sight of his toned body and that chain. The shine of sweat, the dance of the candlelight, the width of his shoulders and carmine chest as it heaves in desperate hums and groans. You could come just from that—and the sensation is so dizzying that your eyes droop. Hoseok notices, grappling the crook between your neck and shoulder. “Stay with me, baby, you can take this. I’m gonna make you feel so good and you’re gonna come on this cock.” 

Those hums of his cruise all the way to your mouth as he sinks that encouragement into it, kissing you deeply, pinning your hands back above your head and sliding his fingers into a celestial intertwinement with yours. They throb within you, those words of his, where they disperse all around, helping you believe that you truly can take the whole manliness of him. Your mind spins, the pressure of your shared atmosphere ringing in your ears, and he knows, he knows that you’re ready for him.

“I’m gonna start moving now. Talk to me, baby. Tell me everything you’re feeling as I fuck you,” he murmurs, unsheathing himself a tiny bit before he curls his hips forward and upwards, creating a languid, spine-tingling rhythm that replicates the waves of his sea. They slosh to and fro with every slow stroke and he kisses your good spot with the tip of his cock. Your eyes flutter open and close, rolling like those waves, but you can still see the way his jaw is clenched, his gums on full show as he seethes in his self-control, the flush of his neck and the flexing of his abdomen that you can’t help but to touch in your otherworldly daze. He stares down at you, intensely, narrows his eyelids and furrows his brows when he feels your touch, and you discover that the spot, where his V-lines lead to your antidote, is one of uttermost sensitivity. 

He moans, burying himself deep in you, and stopping there. Mound to mound, soul to soul.

“Fuck, baby, you just know where all my spots are, don’t you?” he asks, his voice so terribly strained, torso doubled over, and you grin. 

“I think I was born already knowing them,” you flirt and Hoseok pounds into you for it—a singular thrust that scrambles all your brain cells. Your smile falls, your brows crunch, your throat utters such whiny noise that he himself grunts at the sound of it, and when you lift yourself onto your elbows to see his length driving in and out of you, he pushes you right down by your throat, kissing you hard enough that it hurts.

And he alleviates the lip lock by licking over your tongue, toying with it—all while he, little by little, picks up the rhythm, fucking into you with a force that coaxes your rawest moans out of you. 

“You can’t handle my tongue and I can’t handle it when you flirt with me,” he scoffs, smacking his mouth as he turns his head, claiming your mouth, claiming you. “God, I wanna destroy you so bad.” 

Your cry is cut out by another savage thrust and you claw at that sensitive spot of his, inciting him to do it again and again. “I’m yours to destroy.” 

He pauses, the crown of his cock teasing the beginning of your heat. Sweat drips down his temple and he runs a hand through his hair, messing it up in a way that makes your heart twitch in absolute sensuality and relish. 

“Say that again.” 

Your breath hitches. “I’m yours to destroy.” 

Hoseok curses, driving into you all the way. You whine out, clenching your fists, feeling every ridge and every vein of his cock glide forwards and backwards along your walls. And by tensing your body and focusing on the delight he’s gracing your body with, the build-up of your orgasm announces its presence.

“Fuck, Hobi, you feel so good,” you cry, gripping his forearms as he begins to hold your waist steady. He jackhammers into you so viciously that your vision scatters with a creamy hue of ivory, moaning in ragged staccatos that influence you so much that you naturally imitate them, fading into him, becoming one. 

“Whose are you?” he growls without interfering with the gracefulness of his sadism, moving back only an inch before slamming back into you, bruising your cervix—and you lose all brain cells, the synapses blanking out. 

But only one thing is clear. 

“I’m yours.” 

And the following snap of his hips drives you out of this world and out of this universe. The gravity keeps your muscles tense, confining your pleasure and the closeness of your orgasm within. The ringing grows in volume and you’re on the cusp. 

Hoseok is, too, because he begins to beg. 

“Please, please, baby. Come for me. I’m so fucking close for you. Please, I’m gonna come all over you.” 

And with a scream that vibrates through the walls of your living room, you comply. Your core grips him, your skin prickles and you levitate—your back arches off the couch, aching to be closer to him, and Hoseok whines. 

Pulls out, straddles you, and fist-fucks his shaft with frantic, frenzied motions. Covers you with ropes and ropes of his cum that ripple on your stomach, your sternum and your breasts as you drift in and out of consciousness. Warm, warm essence of his masculinity that is warmer than the rest of him. 

Blood-hot. 

And you feel as though you deserved every drop. 

Deserved to see the beauty of his orgasm. The flush of his lower regions, especially. The sight you longed to see. 

Hoseok lets go of his manhood, his hand shiny and wet, though he’s still hard, reaching the beginning of your parting lungs with how big he is. Bigger than Namjoon, bigger than anyone you ever dated. Their names wither in your mind, decomposing. And they lose all meaning. 

They cease to exist. 

You’re not his best friend’s ex. You’re not anyone’s ex—

“Look at how little you are,” Hoseok comments, interrupting the surge of your maddened thoughts. He smears the puddle of cum on your stomach that his cock can reach and your pussy flutters in constant motions that ask for him again. “So little under me and all mine, aren’t you?” 

His avowal brings a fresh dose of oxygen into your lungs and you breathe it in. Want to breathe it in for the rest of your life with him. 

But Hoseok doesn’t stop there. Once you agree with him by the nod of your head and a dopey, gratified grin that casts an affirming light on him, he bends over you, his fists on either side of your head. 

“I’ll show you what true possessiveness looks like. The world will burn if it hurts you and if people say one bad word to you, it will be the last one they ever said. But they will talk to you and you will talk to them. You will learn about this life of yours. What it holds, what it looks like. And I’ll be standing beside you and I’ll watch over you. Learn it, live it with you.” 

He rubs your forehead with his thumb in a fond gesture. Looks at you with a mute meaning that touches your heart and crawls inside before he kisses you, relaxes his lips against yours, and kisses you again. 

Again and again. 

Again in the shower. Again in your bed when you’re riding him, tasting the life he let out of you, because you blazed up with desire after you washed his body. And the sex is quiet, smothered with those kisses until your mouth and his is numb. 

And again throughout the years you acknowledge yourself with that life and realize that you understand it more profoundly and clearly in the process of getting to know Hoseok than this world. 

Hoseok is that life. 

And you kiss him and whisper those words onto his mouth when you marry him at the altar, years and years later, connecting your life and his forever. 

𓂃 ౨ৎ LOVE-KISSED BABIES: @tkslovechild, @jjk7k, @parkinglot-nights, @bethvar, @Sexytholland, @yoongibaybee, @crystaleah,@fennecnco, @lil-kpopstan, @euphoricmyth, @jungkoock, @cinmmongirl, @hoseokkie-caeks, @kam9404, @fr0ggieth1nk.

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