#i dont have any profound conclusion. i was just fucking stupid for ever thinking i could be happy. lol. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

slutdge · 1 month

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ill just be minding my business and then remember how fucked the experience i had with cps was and just how fucked cps is in general and actively harms the children its supposed to be there to help and get so mad i dig a hole into my skin with my nails so deep it starts drawing blood

#again. if you want the lore on why i fucking hate social workers so much. there ya go.#it makes me wanna fucking throw up everytime i see people felate social workers like theyre any better than cops.#not to be a broken record or anything but truly. the only fucking thing i had a lot of the time when i was like 14 was my stupid littl #e dc hardcore mix cd and i think digging that up and revisiting it has really brought up a lot of hard emotions and memories for me #ptsd fucking sucks so bad and it sucks so bad that ive made no progress since then either #i dont know. i dont know yall.#''you have to process your trauma'' ok well thats too hard and id rather die so. guess im too weak then and im not cut out for it #this is fucking stupid anyways.#too many feelings with nowhere to put them and no idea where to even start #thats not even considering what i currently haveto deal with in the present #um i give up and i was a fucking moron for ever believing life could be better #i dont have any profound conclusion. i was just fucking stupid for ever thinking i could be happy. lol.

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