#it’s so clear that they’re not even saying this because of religion too like I’ve seen them treat things that are considered way more sinful

[shamelessshepherd]

The Muslims are being homophobic on my dash again and they’re attacking lesbian and bi Muslims 😑

[chaifootsteps]

Studio Anon here, after a while of lurking/doing my own thing. Luckily my emotions are much more in check and I’ve strayed from Viv stuff for a bit to relax and hang out with my loved ones! Coming back and seeing Viv throwing a hissy fit, Raph wanting to look/act like Angel (my goodness-), and somehow people still defending episode four is… really comedic, actually.

Everything is awful but man, somehow it just keeps getting worse!

Anyway, just writing my own general feelings on this and the ideas I had for a rewrite long before everything went to hell. I never really was interested in HH until maybe Helluva Boss’ trailer dropped. I found it strange that HH wasn’t even out yet but somehow this ‘spinoff show’ was already made and posted in the public. I thought it was really weird tho, considering HH is owned by a company now, technically, while HB is sorta just there? I only watched since it’s animation and I felt like I had to support it.

Buuuut the longer I had to stare at HB’s ugly designs (and seeing the new ones for HH) I simply wasn’t interested anymore.

I guess I dodged a bullet because jesus it just gets worse.

I don’t know how, genuinely, Viv is a shit artist and writer? She went to a prestigious art school for as far as I remember and got her shows made and animated. I’m studying myself, and god knows I’d want my stories out there! It’s clear that Viv has some idea of what she wants to do, but that’s the thing-,

All she had were concepts (also publicly displaying her fetishes in the public, which is also its own can of worms).

I know in my right mind I couldn’t send people out to work on my stories since they’re heavily in development- even then my character designs are complicated as shit so I wouldn’t dream of anyone animating. Viv’s style being the way that it is + her general palettes being Just Red makes it hard to focus on or do anything with.

I also don’t know how Viv is able to just show off her rape fantasies out there and I’d rather not talk about it (sex-repulsed and all), but the general lack of focus and priority in gay ships is really disgusting.

So, as a writer, I made a general outline of what I’d make Hazbin Hotel and/or Helluva Boss be about.

Redemption is an easy theme to work on for both. ‘Sins of the father’ as a trope could work too. I’ll just use HH for now, as this post would be lengthy should I cover both.

General worldbuilding; due to Lucifer’s habit of toying with human life, comparing them to nothing more than insects, God punishes him and Lilith (who could’ve been some kind of angel too? I know she’s from a different religion entirely, so let’s say she was a random angel) by sending them to Hell to deal with the worst sinners. He and the princes of hell (how do they not address this in Hazbin?), scorned and disgusted by Heaven, try to be controlling over their own citizens. Mimicking/acting out their anger towards God by playing God in their own rings. They’re evil and horrible leaders. Lilith makes Hell feel like a home for her and Lucifer at least, bearing a daughter to restore some humanity within the Pride ring.

So Pride, at least, is less threatening now that Lucifer has a daughter.

The other princes could then ‘rightfully’ call out Lucifer’s behavior, maybe serving as some antagonists for Charlie as she tries to convince them to bring their sinners in for redemption.

So TLDR; the princes and Lucifer have internal problems that Charlie would try and resolve somewhat since she believes in redemption.

Going off to the main story, Charlie is told of Heaven being evil and awful for what they’ve done to her parents and believes it until she meets V (or Ex-Overlord Vaggie in this rewrite). V was recently cast out of the other Vs and was maybe slated to die in the extermination until Charlie unknowingly saved her from her fate. Maybe we could even get a hint of V being an angel/exterminator before with one hesitating to kill her off. The two talk and when Charlie mentions Heaven being an ass, V could tell Charlie about Heaven being good, eventually causing Charlie to start thinking about redemption, and start the hotel.

V is given more thought in the story as Charlie’s love interest and the gateway to her learning more about the two sides. Charlie is so used to Hell being the way that it is that she never considered redemption until she hears and talks to V more. The two try and kickstart some sort of redemption but V is hesitant in getting redeemed and asks that, since Charlie is the princess of hell, they could ask Lucifer for a sinner or two to redeem.

Very loose from here, but after some talk, Lucifer gives them a rundown hotel to make their own, the Vs find out and gets Lust Sinner Angel down to take them out, but is charmed by the idea of redemption. Nifty, Alastor, Husk, and Sir Pentious are all from different rings and it takes Charlie a lot to convince the princes and to try and reconnect them to Lucifer, who seems to be caught off guard with how much Charlie is willing to give this a shot. Lilith on the other hand gets suspicious of V, which could lead to Lilith exposing V of being an exterminator and, “Messing with our daughter’s head so she’ll get killed in the next extermination!”

So drama with the parents, the princes, and struggles with redemption.

It all crashes down on Charlie and the Hazbin crew as they’ve began to grow closer on one another, V especially. The other princes could then be more empathetic (they aren’t as prideful as Lucifer, and Lucifer might love his wife more than his kid tbh) and try to reconnect with Lucifer in the same way Charlie connects to the other ring sinners.

Slowly but surely, the crew better themselves, and before the next extermination, the Angel Gabriel (ain’t he the whole Angel with the flaming sword?) flies down to see Charlie doing her best. Drama here, tension there, V is the first to get ‘redeemed’. Uh oh, angst!

V, after all this time, doesn’t want to be redeemed if that means she can’t stay with Charlie, which is why she was hesitant. Lucifer and the sins come in, try to kill Gabriel or something and there’s signs of a war, but Charlie stands her ground and tries to find some way to get both sides to work together on something, at least.

So. Purgatory.

I haven’t been mentioning Lilith much but she very much loves her daughter, and having enough pride in her (Charlie) ideals to make things better, to give people a chance at redemption, reminds her of her angel days. That peaceful life.

So she agrees.

The Hazbin crew get to work with her in purgatory, V gets to be all happy and cute with Charlie, and everyone learns to try and be better.

There. That shouldn’t be too hard. Maybe a little complicated but those are my surface thoughts. What do you and the others think?

[gifted-loser]

The Grief of Having a Trans Child

I am mother to an amazing kid.

Assigned female at birth, but — cheeky as he is in all things — he let me know he doesn’t do assigned seating.

I’ve always been an ally. I’ve always surrounded myself with unique people who are authentically themselves, despite what the majority deems traditional. And though I am a cis woman with what may be deemed a very, um, basic aesthetic, I’ve never held much stock in fitting in.

I pride myself in being a mother who does not live vicariously through her children, or see them as an extension of herself. They’re autonomous human beings who I happened to manufacture, yes. But it’s always been important to me to lay a foundation not rooted in indoctrination, but in strong critical thinking skills.

For example, I haven’t been religious in many years. However, I am from Mississippi, arguably the most religious and ignorant and most definitely poorest state. I did not want to make my children’s mind up about what, if anything, they believed about religion.

I allowed them to attend church with family when THEY wanted to. When they decided they didn’t want to go any longer, I didn’t let anyone force them. I taught them not to make knee-jerk decisions, half-cocked on partial information, but to take in all sides of any argument and use logic to make up their own minds.

And damn, I did a great job because I can hardly win an argument anymore.

My long-winded point here is: it may surprise a lot of people to know how grief-stricken and conflicted I felt when my child came out to me as trans.

As an ally, I’d never had a fraction of negative emotion concerning anyone else’s preferences. You may wonder why, then — if I was truly an ally and as open as I claim — would I feel anything but happiness for my baby becoming who they were meant to be?

And this is the part that I think people should hear that I’m not seeing often made clear from a parent’s perspective. This is because, at first glance, it may appear transphobic in nature. In my case (I’m not saying every case), it’s much more complex.

So why would a non-transphobic, LGBTQ ally parent have such an adverse and upset reaction to learning their child is trans?

Explaining to the best of my ability, first and foremost I was hurt because I realized my child was hurting.

That this body — the body I made with my body, the body I rocked and held and dressed and kissed its fat cheeks — was so perfect to me.

Yet, to my child who means the world to me, this body caused grief. This body caused heartache and dysphoria and even suicide ideation.

Intellectually, I knew this had less than nothing to do with me. But emotionally, I was distressed.

Is this my fault, that my child hates their body? Did I fail to give my child confidence to love themself? Did I not instill enough body positivity, or possibly did I complain about my own form too often, causing my baby to question theirs?

How could my child hate what I thought so amazing and perfect, and what could I have done to make my baby love themself as I had always loved them?

It wasn’t just about the fact that I’d always seen perfection there; it was the pain and turmoil that my kid not only didn’t see perfection, but literally saw their physical body as their biggest obstacle in life.

It was the pain the body caused them, that also pained me.

Honestly, it still does.

The second wave of grief came not from what was, but what would never be.

All those images in my head of what our relationship would look like. Prom dresses and manicures and wedding gowns. If I’m being honest and had been paying attention, I’d have known none of those things were going to happen — not in that cookie-cutter way — regardless.

This grief was much easier for me to get over. This year I helped him dress in his matching white tux to go with his boyfriend to prom, and I bawled my eyes out. Not out of sadness, but with happiness that he was so happy, and because he is so freaking cute.

Now, I’m left with the third wave of sadness and grief. And it all stems from the fact that there’s a great big world out there that I can’t fix for him.

He’s in danger just by walking down the street. He’s in danger just by existing. And I live with the fear that some horrible person will attempt to end my child’s life out of ignorance and hatred. Someone who doesn’t know or doesn’t care that his favorite thing in the world is kittens. Or that he makes sure his little sister gets on and off the bus safely every day, even though he pretends he can’t stand her. Or that even though he calls me by my first name to his friends, when no one is listening he still calls me Momma.

Given the murky political waters of late, that fear isn’t going away anytime soon. It is growing.

So I hope sharing my own struggles with a child coming out as trans may help other parents in similar situations understand they’re not alone. It’s okay to have complex and even mixed, conflicting emotions to sort through. It is a process. For them, and for us.

And I hope any trans person struggling with understanding their parents’ feelings may benefit. Because not everyone will deal with difficult emotions the same. It may look like grief; it may look like denial, or even rage. But it also may help to know that sometimes those ugly emotions stem from softer ones. Not everyone is able to articulate or manage such a tidal wave of intense, deeply personal emotions.

You are worthy.

You shouldn’t have to deal with disrespect or rejection of your true self. That’s not okay. But if your parents love YOU, not their idea of who you SHOULD be, but YOU — don’t give up. They may need more time than you thought, but true love always wins.

As for myself, I’m an imperfect person just trying to do the best I can, like the rest. I don’t always get it right, and I have and will most likely fail my children again at some point — not intentionally, but because that’s the nature of being human. We’re prone to errors and mistakes. None of us, no matter how well-intended, are spared from that singular truth.

However, for anyone struggling with an unsupportive family, country, world — I want to let you know that YOU ARE WORTHY. And just like MY SON is still perfect, so are YOU. ❤

[sleepnowmychild]

The gods and shipping

Note: I feel like shipping isn’t the right term, given this is religion and not fandom. But I can’t think of another word that means ‘the act if supporting two (or more) people together as a couple’ so I’ll use it for now. And if I find something better I’ll edit this post.

This gets long so I’ll put it under the cut

So I don’t think it’s any secret the gods had many many lovers. Rarely did they ever have just one. Each of those lovers and their story plays some part into the deities mythology and the lessons we’re meant to learn from those stories. So I’ve never seen an issue with shipping the gods in their many established relationships. I mean, many couples are worshipped together. Hades and Persephone, Eros and Psyche, Ares and Aphrodite.

Some of the established relationships may not be entirely healthy ones, but again those myths exist for a reason. To share a lesson about love, relationships etc. or sometimes simply to give a god/hero two divine parents. But there’s a reason for every relationship established in myth.

So what about creating your own? Seeing two gods that don’t have an established relationship and seeing them as counterparts?

In my opinion I don’t see too much of an issue when it’s done with respect and acknowledgment of those gods ‘official’ consorts. I say ‘official’ in quotes because some gods have more than one marriage, or who that consort is depends on the myth. But you get the idea, the main established relationship for that god.

For example: when I first learnt of the Sisyphus myth, and how Ares had rescued Thanatos, I couldn’t help but think about how the two are linked in their domains. There is no war, without death. If you want the bloodshed and fighting of a war you need death to be present. War is a tragedy that can’t exist without senseless killing. Ares can’t do his job as the representation of the more brutal aspects of war without Thanatos there to take the souls and clear the battlefield of the fallen. I was rather surprised there was no one off myth that paired the two together as a couple, given how perfectly they seemed to fit together. So I admit, I kind of ship them.

While Ares is most often associated with his affair with Aphrodite, and she’s his main partner. The gods had so many partners I don’t see any issue with looking at the story of Ares rescuing Thanatos and thinking it’s kind of a cute concept pair them up. I acknowledge his ‘official’ partner is Aphrodite, but have to admit the symbolism in a pairing with Thanatos is a great concept.

Outside of a worship context: when it’s in the form of a myth retelling like TSOA, the Hades games, Hades town etc. since they’re merely retellings and the depictions of the gods in those stories are more akin to a fictional character, you can really do whatever you want with them shipping wise. I fucking love Zagreus and Hypnos together in the context of the hades games. But when we’re talking about the actual gods, I don’t even know if they’ve ever interacted so I can’t see them together. Retellings in the form of books, movies, games etc are free reign in my opinion no matter how wild the pairing is (yk as long as it’s not any illegal shit).

TLDR: I don’t see anything that wrong with shipping the gods, as long as it’s done with acknowledgment of their ‘official’ consorts and respect. You can worship two (or more) gods together and think they’d be cute, or enjoy the symbolism they’d represent.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

After death | Lost Gods

He looks at the skyline ahead of him, its famous shapes that tourists gape at like they’re observing a gorilla in an enclosure. It’s all grey to him, not just because of the looming storm but because the grids of buildings and lights have become boring in a way that seems fatal—this city is a dead thing on earth, he doesn’t care what anyone says. It’s all post-mortem—the blinking traffic lights, shafts of sunlight interrupted by high-rises, yellow taxis honking, honking, honking, like they’re shouting a prayer. He feels sort of like that too, caught in kitschy after death.

A little Harrison art <3 !! And an excerpt from the opening of Lost Gods!

4 years ago today I finished writing his very first solo novel, Moth Work, & I’m kind of in awe of how far we’ve come in that short time… 4 novels & 2 novellas narrated by this man who’s a little embarrassing and a whole lot profound (but you didn’t hear that from me!). A few more thoughts under the cut, but here’s a little note I made myself in 2020, the only note I’ve ever made after finishing a book (possibly because finishing this one changed my life a little).

TW for mentions of: mental illness, trauma in the mental health system, internalized homophobia

Technically I finished Moth Work at 2:34AM because I lived on the west coast at the time lol.

I don’t usually celebrate or remember the anniversaries of finishing books. But I wanted to celebrate this one because a) it’s Leap Day & I haven’t been able to commemorate what I was doing during the last one for 4 years, & b) because finishing MW was such a significant accomplishment!

I started MW in January of 2019 because I was struggling emotionally. At the time, I was racing to figure out “what was wrong with me” before flying across the country for uni in the summer (SPOILER I WAS JUST AUTISTIC LMAO), which led to a lot of stressful and traumatizing appointments with doctors. I desperately needed a book to cheer me up but a different one from my WIP at the time, especially because in 2018, I’d both discovered my voice and become really afraid of messing it up!

I also was taking a religion class at the time that was emotionally difficult for me because I felt reallyyyy alone and especially isolated in my queerness that I’d been hiding for a couple years at that point (& that I literally would not talk about at all, not even to people I trusted). When it became very clear I needed an outlet to explore my feelings (of being “unhelpable,” internalized homophobia, a general sense of aloneness/isolation) the decision of what I was going to write became pretty clear.

I’d written 3 stories in Harrison’s POV that predated MW starting in late 2018 (they were also my first explorations in third person present tense, which fun fact, I only tried in his POV because I’ve always written my notes ideas in that POV/tense combo, even when I only wrote first person!). I hadn’t written in a different POV character’s head beside’s Reeve’s since 2016, so it felt natural that the second character I felt closest to (Harrison!!!) could be a narrator. Funnily at this time Lonan was my favourite so I’m actually surprised I did not choose him but can we imagine how different things would be if I had???

I started Moth Work in my notes app (ICONIC) on January 16th 2019 at 11:37pm! The first chapter came pretty quickly, is actually quite non-linear for a bit, and was overall a lot of fun to write. I’d planned for the project to maybe be a short story or at the most a novella (does this sound familiar), nothing very long and definitely not a novel. I believe the goal word count was 5k which is so funny bc that’s exactly how Changing States & Lost Gods started!!!

And then the project stagnated, it wasn’t something I’d planned to write seriously, and I didn’t pick it back up until August of that year when my therapist at the time suggested I try to complete a “reach goal” as I was reaching Crisis and I guess I was so done with everything going on in my life that I was like okay fine!!!! I will write Moth Work as a novel!!!!

This book literally flew with me across the country… I wrote a lot of it late at night in my dorm with all the lights off after a long day on campus. I wrote a lot of it in my intro to sociology lecture LMAO. I wrote a lot of it on my phone. It was the first project (no literally) where I intentionally explored queerness, especially my own feelings as a (sort of?) catholic at the time. I explored atheism a lot! Something I needed to process my own feelings about faith & God. I explored what it’s like to be this completely unhelpable person because you’ve decided there’s no possible way to help yourself anymore (hiiii Lonan). I also explored (a bit like a premonition), what it’s like to care deeply for someone you can’t help (but that you very badly want to help).

And I almost didn’t finish the book! The imposter syndrome and insecurity went crazyyy when writing Moth Work. I didn’t feel like I was writing the First Person Retrospective Flowery Literary Fiction I’d deemed as the only possible “good writing.” (Still LOVE but I really was struggling seeing a very minor style shift, which is funnily much closer to my writing now than when I was writing the ��best” way.) I deleted so much from this book. I couldn’t look at it. I was so embarrassed by it!! I made ultimatums with it!! I edited it so much but still couldn’t stand it! It was literally the safest space I had and I could barely be there a lot of the time!!!

SOOOO this is why I’m very proud of me for finishing it lol & while I would typically have celebrated the anniversary idk, in 2021, bc it didn’t exist until this year it felt apt to sit with those feelings now. I’m really proud of 17-year-old Rachel who was undiagnosed autistic & convinced I was a lost cause, who was sooo afraid of being queer I could only think of that through Lonan (& sometimes still do thx king 🫡) who literallyyyyy wrote a masterpiece in my collection that contains some of my best work (even if I only realized that 4 years later) & that’s been the start of EVERYTHING!

This is so much more than a book or an anniversary!! Somehow I made it through all the things I didn’t think were possible and now have written 2 books & 3 (writing the fourth) novellas allllll in this world. AND 2 additional novels in his POV!! Also thank you baby Rachel for Jeremiah. Like hello!!!! This is the only place I felt safe to be myself when I couldn’t be with anyone else! And there’s something priceless about that…

And it’s all bc of Harrison!!! Whoever I saw in that man in 2019… girl thank you!! Can’t explain what it’s like to grow with that character (who is sooo much more than that to me). Never would I have predicted where I am now. And IMO, that’s all thanks to him so ily fictional man in my head, this is soooo his day LOL.

& if you were here since the first MW update & made it this far… I MUST KNOW!!!!

[olivieraa]

Sometimes I think about how critical thinking isn't a core part of people's lives, especially adults, and I get sad. There has to be like, an activation moment. Something has to activate it. Kinda like people who say they took LSD and it opened their minds. Like that but without any dangerous drugs.

Or sometimes its not a moment, but a few small moments piled up. That's what it was like for me (and kinda anyone I've seen get into radical feminism).

In the earliest feminist days of tumblr, we'll go for 2012, like, the most extreme thing you'd see is a "men's tears" mug as the ultimate form of misandry. By 2013 tumblr was defo known as the feminist and gay rights website. By 2014 it got insanely political, it became widespread and has continued on this 10 long year journey of becoming extremely anti-women and anti-gay, which sucks bc it was the opposite of reddit. And now both sites are the same.

But to revert back to my personal experiences with it, you can see it. On the earliest pages of my blog. I reblogged things from friends and I would tag these posts with confusion. From porn, to asexuality, to religion, to kinks, to makeup, etc. I just... knew those posts felt wrong to me. But ALL my friends were reblogging them with no tags. So they either completely agreed with said posts or partially agreed. But I was the only one questioning those posts.

But also, I was also the only non-American, which turned out to be a very important difference. Like, I would reblog some things and say shit like "idk how I feel about this post... but I'll reblog it and do some research or look into it later". Americans have a.................... very hard problem doing that.

And then by actually looking into those things, ACTUALLY. LOOKING. INTO. THOSE. THINGS. you find out there's a huge problem there, actually. By using critical thinking, you realise all these "feminist" things are super anti-women. But liberal women, esp liberal American women, are so convinced, without looking into it, that they're not anti-women. And there's so much clear evidence. Like its really clear, really obvious.

Just so its not a long paragraph, I wont go into every detail on this, but to take one category - Beauty standards. Even standards in general. Lets go with those awful standards men have to deal with. The two things they claim are constantly brought up. Height and dick size. Especially height. He HAS to be over 6ft. This is brought up constantly. But then there's also so many videos debunking both those standards, and those videos (aside from one memorable one) were made by women. Basically saying shit about how most women are still dating men only slightly taller than them, and most women collectively agree that size doesn't matter.

Now the beauty standards for women. Almost every single inch of a woman has to fit a preference, from having big boobs to a narrow waist to big hips to a big ass, but also not be too big or small, but the exact size a man wants it cause weight distribution works that way. From men wanting "natural" women when you can look at any pic of man's ultimate fantasy Pamela Anderson without her makeup and everyone telling her she looks like she's sick or dying. Same with J.Lo. Men want women to look as natural as she can WHILE wearing makeup. Like, she has to look like she's not wearing it. Again, to fit exactly the way he wants it. Have long af hair but shave every inch if you bar eyebrows cause hair is very bad and ugly. To not be muscular because that's too masculine so basically don't stay at the gym too long to train those biceps, but also if a man attacks you on a night out to the club and you can't defend yourself cause you're so delicate and feminine, you just shouldn't be going out without him! Also dont get old, no greys no no. I've seen men bash cosmetic surgery while their biggest fantasies end up being women who have had cosmetic surgery, but men are so STUPID they cant tell unless its really obvious. Like women knew for a long time that Ariana Grande did a bunch of things to her face, but men thought she was so insanely hot. But would bash Kylie Jenner for what she did to her face bc the differences on Kylie were much more obvious. Ok I really could go on and on here, its way too long.

Men end up saying shit like "oh my girl likes me with a beard, she hates when I shave". The liberal feminist girlfriend, who has never heard of critical thinking, will nod her head in agreement and say, "yep, that's my preference." Oh dont worry, honey. He loves your preference. Your preferences generally boil down to him not having to do jack shit. "Oh I'm a feminist but I'd definitely be turned off if my man shaved his legs and armpits. But I shave mine because I want to!" Yes, again, no effort on his part no no. But effort on your part yes yes. Because you want to, mhmm.

So his natural state is your preference. He's totally sitting there groaning like, "Ugh I'm so good to my girlfriend! the look I'm sporting is based on what she likes. All I have to do is wake up, brush my teeth, maybe shower and boom. I'm ready for her. Again, I'm so good to my girlfriend. Oh btw she loves my effortless dad bod too. That's why I don't go to the gym. For HER obviously. I'm just so good to her. Look what I do for her."

And then her mindset is, "Oh I shave on an almost daily basis for me. Not for him. I don't conform to standards for him. I shave, pluck my eyebrows, keep my hair long and inconvenient, overdo it on my skincare, have pretty lashes and nails and dress up in cute outfits and keep in shape, buy cute lingerie, the list goes on and on. I do that for me! They happen to be his standards, sure, but its for me! Makeup, shaving, skin routines are all feminist because they're a choice! And feminism at its core is choice! It's definitely not that I'm afraid if I decide to act exactly like him and let my leg hair grow out to the point its a competition between us, or get a cute pixie hair cut so its less effort to wash, or not wear makeup and all that, that he'll then decide to look elsewhere! Definitely not! And its very un-feminist to think that I'm making these choices (where I put in an insane amount of effort for my scrub of a boyfriend who does absolutely nothing and yet I'm insanely attracted to him) for me and me alone!"

Like... You can ofc do those things. Nobody is telling you not to. The problem, the main problem here, is you are deluding yourself into this idea that every decision you've made in terms of beauty standards, was a choice you made that wasn't heavily influenced by other factors. From standards pushed on you since you were a kid. From insecurity. From fear.

I wear makeup. Almost daily. But I acknowledge it for what it is. It is absolutely not a feminist act or a feminist choice. A feminist act would be rejecting makeup and standards. But that then is considered a radical act. Thus, its a part of radical feminism. And I'm not a radical feminist for a few reasons, but one of them would be that I'm just not brave enough to believe in my natural state. I'm not brave enough to wear a dress during summer with hairy legs. I'm not brave enough to go to the shops without giving myself at least 15 mins beforehand to put makeup on.

So many women refuse to give up shaving and wearing makeup, and that's fine (not that its fine, its actually awful but I cant blame them). However, where radfems get pissed off is the "makeup is power, because its a choice!" liberal feminist bullshit. These women absolutely refuse to believe that they're conforming to standards for anyone other than themselves. That it's still a feminist action, and that they are feminists themselves!

Imagine going to a cocktail party. And there's 50 men and 50 women all dressed up. What are majority of the women likely to be wearing? Dresses. Some in trousers, sure, but mostly dresses. Let's say 40 out of the 50 women. I can guarantee you, 100% of those women have perfectly smooth, shaved legs and armpits. Every single one of them in a dress. And lets pretend 30 of those 40 women in those dresses claim to be feminists. They're still conforming to the exact same standards as the 10 women who aren't feminists. Perfectly shaved, makeup on, hair done, nails done (perhaps even made appointments for all of them). Absolutely none of these women made the choice to wear a dress but keep the legs hairy. Or wear a dress but no makeup. Why? Fear. The amount of judgement they would get in a room of 100 people. What are men doing? They showered (maybe). Possibly trimmed their beard? Yeah. That's about it.

Like why is the critical thinking so hard for them. Literally, LITERALLY, just stop and think. That's it. That's IT. Think, and question why you're about to do that thing. Like actually look into it.

This is so so hard for people, but there's nobody worse at it than liberal feminist women.

And it was BECAUSE I would see these posts on my dash for years back in the day and actually research the posts, that I got in trouble with my libfem friends for not just like, believing these posts were right and accurate and I shouldn't question them, is why I knew liberal feminism had this awful cult mindset, and these women will literally wish death on you for not agreeing with them.

Absolute crazy nonsense.

This post is so long and yet I only said a fraction of what I wanted to say on beauty standards alone. Imagine the porn talk, or the transitioning talk. I dont even think I could condense either of those as much as I did with beauty standards.

The absolute refusal for people to use their brains before making a so-called "choice" is why I have so little hope for humans in general. There's just no thinking going on in there. This is why I'm just..... so not bothered anymore about discussions. They lead absolutely nowhere because the person I'm talking to has convinced themselves of something with very little to go by. Prob just because they were told to believe a thing and they were like, "ok!"

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Had to share this with you because I was looking at the quotes on this post and this one gave me a big laugh. This is exactly how you describe how solos see their bias vs other members. And I don’t understand how they don’t realize how insulting this is to Jimin, the idea that he would be so loyal and affectionate towards people who, according them, treat him like trash. But this was seriously so funny. (Like even Jhope who they token stan now? 😭)

https://x.com/diorstear/status/1709969755115811065?s=20

***

Your link.

I mean, where do you even begin with people who are incapable of realizing the implications of what they’re saying? When I say solo stans literally lack ordered thinking beyond the 1st, this is exactly what I mean.

You know what I find most amusing though? I joined Tumblr in 2021, so just before Chapter 2 started. And the topics that dominated here were people speaking lowly of those “chart-obsessed ARMYs”, about those “infantilizing k-pop idols”, about how people should watch full unedited original content, about how k-pop fans shouldn’t have a saviour complex, about the privilege BTS have as Korean men, about how toxic fans lean into parasocial attachments in k-pop, about fans lacking boundaries, etc… This was the dominant discourse in this space always said in a tone where the people in these fringe spaces relative to the main OT7 ones, felt they were above all that. Only for Chapter 2 to start and almost every single one has done an aboutface.

Now practically all these people are significantly much more chart-obsessed than any chartmy I’ve seen ever, it’s like they picked up the tactics (the how) without any understanding of the why, when, and where ARMYs employed those tactics, and intensified it. These are the people now hyping up edits that victimize their fave, constantly wanting to play saviour and inserting themselves into the relationships between the members to assume malice, envy, or hate, all to further the idea that everyone in the group hates their fave, is using them for their own selfish needs, and only their fave is the most selfless sacrificial lamb for the ‘temporary experiment’ that is BTS. In spite of all the footage we have, in spite of what their supposed sacrificial lamb has said and keeps saying… in spite of everything, they choose to insult their fave all in a bid to justify their hate of the rest.

It’s amusing to me because everybody else can tell exactly what this is. We all know the types of groups of people, across various backgrounds, cultures, religions, times, who fall into these exact kind of thought patterns. I promise you, for solo stans it doesn’t just end in k-pop - their underlying beliefs extend to how they see the world at large. And that’s how I know there’s nothing to be done for people like this unless they completely detach. They’ve become too sucked in and are the sorts for whom k-pop will consume everything about them. But that same reason is why they won’t leave, and will only become more and more toxic, further poisoning their own experience within fandom and that of everyone who comes into contact with them.

I keep saying, for BTS, the people who think the least about their faves are their solo stans. And over the three-ish years I’ve been answering asks in this space, it’s clear PJMs are no exception.

Thankfully, Jimin remains fairly insulated from the madness that happens in fandom. He’s focused on advancing his career and all the guys constantly remind everybody that they are in fact in this together and they intend to keep it that way. Speaking of which, Taehyung hyping up 3D was so cute! The way he was saying he loved it almost made me rethink my initial view of the song. And while 3D is growing on me (tbf), I still want to hear more from JK, something that actually wows me. Fingers crossed at least one of the new 8 tracks has something there for me.

Lol anyway thanks (kinda) for sending me that, it did make me chuckle. I say kinda because while it’s a tweet that does prove my point about how akgaes view their fave, I didn’t feel it was worth it seeing the extent of their abuse of other members in the quotes. All of their talking points I’ve heard before and so I’m not sensitive to it, but it’s still kinda unpleasant to see these people be extremely abusive to the members completely unprovoked. It’s like entering a den filled with raving, unwashed lunatics looking for anything to tear apart.

Just unpleasant. So I’d prefer if next time, rather than show and tell with a link, you just describe what you mean without a link to that insanity.

**EDIT: I just realized I only talked about the quotes without addressing the underlying clip and someone who perhaps hasn't watched the original full clip could be wondering why I'm okay with the other six members 'ganging up' on Jimin...

I've actually talked about what happened in that clip on my blog before, and it was in the context of how Yoongi supports Jimin in BTS. For anyone who wants to watch the full thing to reach their own conclusions, the source is from BTS's Festa 2016 dinner. I've linked the Bantan Subs version with English subtitles here:

*

In my Masterlist post where I talk about hate in the BTS fandom, I refer to clips exactly like what PJMs are spreading now to victimize Jimin and incite hatred on other members. Every. Single. Member in BTS has clips like that about them, where they're being immature or cattish, towards the others. Including Jimin. It's an age-old akgae tactic to add up these clips into compilations to create a narrative about their chosen member, it's exactly what shippers do as well and taekookers are the worst offenders, and is also the reason why ARMYs keep insisting that new fans go back to BTS's old content and watch all of it in full. If you're educating yourself on BTS based on clips circulated by akgaes or shippers you've already lost the plot.

[littledreamling]

Tea and Books Asks

The Dreamling Nation server had the bright idea to turn this ask game into a tag game

Anyway, here’s mine! I’ve already answered a few of these and if you sent me an ask, the answer will be here instead. Sorry for the long post and thank you @firemandeanbuck for the tag!!

1. What period of history do you enjoy learning about?

I love learning about the Renaissance (roughly 1300-1700) in Europe, especially how science, religion, and geopolitics all tied together to shape and influence each other. A lot of that has been fueled by my love for Hob, so I wanted to know as much about the time period he would’ve lived in as possible, but I also fell in love with the interplay between Germany, Italy, and the Ottoman Empire during that time period, as well as whatever the fuck the Iberian Peninsula was doing. I’ve just barely started scratching the surface but it’s already so fascinating to me.

2. Who is your favourite fictional character and why?

Has to be Hob, without a doubt. I love his optimism and almost violently positive outlook on life. He’s not a good person, but he’s not a bad person either. He’s just a person, a true representation of humanity, and I find myself relating to him a lot.

3. What do you order at a café?

Something far too sweet and complicated. And probably a muffin or a croissant or something.

4. Libraries, botanical gardens, or art galleries?

All of the above, but I prefer aquariums over all of them

5. Do you have a favourite film soundtrack?

Is it weird if I say Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron? Because Hans Zimmer put his heart soul and bussy into that soundtrack and it’s full of absolute bangers. Also Interstellar and… pretty much everything Hans Zimmer has ever done honestly

6. What does your dream home look like?

Bright, filled with books and plants, with lots of textures and soft things. When I was younger, I had a dream (one that has been revitalized thanks to conversations in the dreamling nation server) of living in an old church, either Episcopalian or Catholic because I love the stained glass and architecture. Also, religious trauma lmao

7. What makes you feel better on gloomy days?

A good book, good music, walking in the woods, talking to friends, generally attempting to bring light back into my life in any way I can. I generally find that the days when I most want to crawl into a dark hole and be left alone are the days when I really need brightness and good company

8. What are your top three films? Books?

Films: The Hunt for Red October, Angels and Demons, and Stardust though I could list at least ten more very easily

Books: I haven’t been able to do a lot of reading lately, so I’m going to fall back on my tried and true favorites: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, The Abhorsen series by Garth Nix, and the Goblin Wood by Hilari Bell

9. Are you an organized person, generally?

My adhd forces me to be, if only as a coping mechanism. I alternate between states of disorganized chaos and meticulous order, usually corresponding to my stress levels and how much I’ve been procrastinating lmao

10. Do you have a favourite classic novel?

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. I read it in middle school and fell in love; it’s the only assigned reading book I’ve ever finished cover to cover.

11. What character archetype or trope is your favourite?

I’m not really sure to be completely honest… I suppose I go in for tortured souls who endure, not despite, but because of. I like characters that have every reason to quit but continue anyway, even if (especially if) they know they’re doomed to fail.

12. Do you prefer baking or cooking?

Baking for sure. I’m a scientist at heart and while baking can be creative, it’s all about following clear instructions that (usually, hopefully) lead to a clear outcome without much variation. That’s the goal anyway

13. Which season do you feel at home in?

Autumn. I love the colors, the crisp air, being able to bundle up but still look nice (unlike winter, when I just look… kinda frumpy and perpetually exhausted). All of my favorite holidays are in the fall, including my birthday (which isn’t a holiday but should be) so it’s just a good time all around.

14. What is your opinion on poetry?

I love poetry. To me, it’s like a puzzle, seemingly so basic and straight-forward on the first reading, but each successive pass reveals new meaning. It fascinates me and I wish I was better at reading, writing, and analyzing it.

15. Do you speak formally when texting and emailing?

Sometimes? It depends more on the context and what device I’m using to write. On my phone, absolutely not, I almost never capitalize anything and grammar is… an afterthought at best. On my ipad and computer, though, I’m in the habit of using proper punctuation and capitalization because I use those devices to write fics.

16. How do you organize your music playlists?

Very haphazardly. Mostly based on vibes (on spotify, I have two folders called “Cool, Calm, and Collected” and “Hot, Violent, and Agitated”) but also by activity (“walking in the woods” and “writing” for example). My spotify is a mess that only I can ever make sense of, which works really well for the most part but can be very frustrating when I’m driving and my friends are trying to navigate my maze of music playlists

17. Who is your favourite author?

I think I’m contractually obligated to say Neil Gaiman…

18. Chai or hot chocolate?

Hot chocolate, all day every day. I have an incurable sweet tooth and hot chocolate is one of my comfort drinks, especially in the face of writer’s block or intense stress. In fact, I’m thinking about making some right now.

19. Do you prefer forests, sea shores, or meadows?

Forests. I love the unique quiet of a forest, a hush that isn’t a hush at all once you really start to listen. I’ve always felt very connected to nature and forests in particular and I could spend all day wandering between trees, listening to the sounds of life all around me.

20. If you were to cultivate a fruit orchard, what would you grow?

Pears. They’re my favorite fruit and I’d want to have them on hand as often as possible. I don’t know the first thing about growing pears (or any fruit, really) so I have no idea how hard it would be or if I’d be any good at it, but I’d definitely try!

I’m tagging @aquilathefighter @ghostboyjules @mathomhouse-e @sonata-ix @wizardofgoodfortune and @tj-dragonblade

Feel free to ignore if you’ve already done it or don’t want to!

[mommalosthermind]

@kisnin I can see how that’s uncomfortable or scary. It’s not a kind thought, that’s for sure, and I’m probably not going to have a satisfactory answer.

The thing is, I would not mourn him if he’d died. I would have celebrated, because for a little while longer, we would have been safer than we are right now. Maybe that makes me cold. Mostly it reminds me of being a kid, huddling away from Abusive Asshole #3, and hoping when I wake up they’re magically gone forever, or dead, where they can’t get at me anymore.

I’m not going to make any statements about morality other than my relationship with what might be considered morals is gray. The means, as they say, justifies the ends, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t have any interest in the purity politics trend for exactly that reason. The real world doesn’t divide neatly into prelabeled boxes. And before the ‘piss on the poor’ webbed site gets up in arms and starts throwing stones: I’m not going to divert into other topics. This is about the attempted shooting of trump.

Trump is not remotely a good person. He is a byproduct of the worst parts of our already failing society, and currently, he is the figurehead people are gathering around with the full and clear intent to hurt everyone who isn’t them. I should say *continue* hurting people, since they’ve done a decent job of setting things up so that folks are already having their daily lives impacted, even if somehow the general public is suffering from amnesia.

I haven’t forgotten what it was like to be that afraid for that long. I haven’t forgotten why the Court is ruling against the populace. I haven’t forgotten how many deaths lay at his feet over his border wall and his mishandling of covid, and his encouragement of dictators the world over. I haven’t forgotten why there was a clear and sudden drop in the quality of how I can live my life.

Trump is not the only reason, but he is a very large part of it.

It’s the trolley problem. Sacrifice one person to save the majority. Trump on one side of the scale, and millions of others on the opposite side. That’s not even a question for me.

Removing Trump from the picture would, at least temporarily, make it harder for the republicans to organize, and since they’re currently—and loudly—organizing under a banner (and with a fully written out plan no less) on how they intend to remove as many rights/resources as possible from women, the entire rainbow, people with disabilities, people of color, immigrants, the poor, people who follow the ‘wrong’ religion, the young… the list is extremely long— well. I would prefer they not be able to do that.

Nearly every single person I’ve ever spoken to is on that list. Hell, I’m in the crosshairs more than once. If you are not one of them, you are on that list.

Their manifesto is what, 900 pages long? They know what they’re doing. And they’ve been using the bizarre hold Trump has on the right wing nation to get what they want.

I understand why the sentiment isn’t one you care for, and why it’s upsetting. Supposedly, one of the first lessons we’re taught is to be kind, right? To look out for each other? To be the bigger person?

Right now, offering people like him that kindness feels like a luxury I can’t afford.

Maybe hoping he dies doesn’t make me a good person, either. I find that doesn’t bother me, because if he’s gone, then my kids, my community-local, national, global-will be a little better off. Maybe we can manage to undo some of the harm he’s encouraged, so the next time this happens we can actually put whoever takes up the mantle in prison, where Trump should be.

If you’re old enough, make sure you’re registered to vote. Take the time to learn about how your government works. Look at your local government, your state, your country. And then vote in the way you want the world to grow.

But maybe remember that the right-wingers in Trump’s skirts are trying to take away your ability to vote, too.

They just don’t assassinate politicians like they used to anymore

[nsk96]

Rant:

My mom went to our Hindu temple today (ours is like a two hour drive away [Palm Beach]). She wanted me to go and was upset when I got up this morning at 5am, not feeling well enough to go. She thinks it’s only because I went to bed late.

Long story short, I’ve exhausted all week and have been on my period all week with back pain, dizziness, and headaches. I’m on low dose birth control for endometriosis but when I have a breakthrough period, it extends how long I bleed for. Not to mention how dehydrated I am and the fact I stopped my topiramate so I’ve been getting rebound migraines and motion sickness.

I’ve been at rotation all week (retail pharmacy) so I was already exhausted when I got home, then had to not just find something to wear to temple, but also had to stand there for like 2 hours repairing the three big holes that somehow got there. Sewing by hand.

By the time I got in and out of the shower, I was exhausted and just wanted to scroll on my phone to recharge the dopamine because I’m burnt out. I had difficulty getting to bed early because I was too tired to get up.

She got back from the temple today and was yelling at me saying that I didn’t make any effort this morning to go. She said that “a lot of white people” were there and “white people are getting into our culture but it seems you’re running away from it”.

And she was saying I missed such a great opportunity to participate in prayers to “help clear my way”. Wait hold up…a couple weeks ago she said she wanted me to go to “network with people who share my culture.”

1) I don’t need to participate in my culture to be a Hindu. Religion and culture are two different things to me, because there are toxic things about our culture that contradict our religion’s teachings. I can live by my religion’s teachings and choose what culture to be a part of. I grew up in the U.S. with a Trinidadian-Indian background. So many east Indians don’t even consider me Indian so why would I try to be a part of something that I don’t really identify with.

2) “white people are getting into our culture”…yeah and I know black people who are getting into our culture too. The nearby temple had black people and the drummer was black too. Like was this statement about white people supposed to mean something to me? Is she thinking white people are superior to us so it’s a big deal that they’re at our temple? Which by the way, obsessing over white people is part of our culture as well it seems. Being white, marrying white, bleaching your skin to have lighter skin—I’m tired of the colorism.

3) she initially wanted me to go with her so I can “network” with people of “the same culture” because we “need a support system”. So yeah, can she make up her mind whether she wanted me to go for the spiritual benefit or if it was just to socialize. I didn’t have any energy to socialize and I know that if I didn’t, she would be upset about that too, which is another reason I didn’t want to go. I’m an introvert who’s been forced to be around people and do phone calls all week. The last thing I want to do this weekend is be around people.

Did I say any of this to her? No because she never listens. It’s easier for her to say “I don’t understand you” while never making an effort to understand me. After dealing with that my whole life, I got to the point of just being silent because it’s not worth the effort to explain how I feel or what’s going on in my mind.

I like how she came at me like she took it so personally that I didn’t go. I have a feeling she saw some guys my age there and just wanted me to mingle, because she’s always going on about how I need to start dating and she always talked about going to temple to meet guys of our culture.

I’m sorry to say, there are too many guys in “our culture” that are mama’s boys and too much misogyny going around. When my dad slapped my mom you wanna know what my grandmother told her to do? Pray…she told to her to pray. That’s our culture. Men like that, get away with shit and their wives are expected to stay and put up with it.

And that “support system” she was talking about? We are not going to find it with these people. They would be nice in front your face but then talk shit behind your back. They are not going to help us with our situation with my dad.

A couple weeks ago she was also talking about how my “godfather” who’s the pandit there, has connections that can help me with my career. All I can think about is how that didn’t seem to work out so well for my childhood friend who goes to the same temple (and also her godfather). She dedicated so much time every day at that temple, she and her family helping out with everything. She sacrificed study time to be there. But yet…where was her help and connections? She was right there beside me in college (undergrad) failing the same classes. Where was her help? Then on graduation day, no one showed up for her, not even her family. I shared with her what pictures I got of us and the video my parents managed to get of her walking across the stage.

It seems my mom will say anything to get me to go. I don’t need to be among people of my culture to find good people to befriend. She was all like “you can’t do everything alone.” Yes, I know that but I should be allowed to be picky about who I let into my life. Funny she’s always the one to say “be careful who you trust” and “don’t put yourself in any situation where you’re desperate for someone’s help” and “don’t owe anyone”. Which is funny because she’s encouraging me to do the exact things she told me not to?

Like, did she think showing up to this specific temple once after like 10 years, is gonna make my godfather want to help? She does not think he’d expect us to show up more often and help out too before he lends help?

And time is an issue because I’m on rotations and I have schoolwork to do along with projects my rotation preceptors assign to me. Not to mention all the onboarding stuff and orientation courses I need to do for every rotation. She said that the girl doing prayers at the temple is from Coral Springs (city close to ours) and she was there to pray for her studies.

Well, good for her. Can my mom stop comparing me to other people expecting me to manage my time or study the same way as them. 1) she doesn’t even know what this girl is studying. 2) I need 5x more time to study than most people I’ve met. While most of my classmates are out partying, I’m stuck at home studying with no social life because of my issues with attention/focus, memory, processing what I hear and read, fidgeting, motivation (executive dysfunction I think it was called) and so much more.

It’s hurtful that she keeps comparing me to other people instead of trying to understand me or help me with the issues I have. It’s hurtful that she always dismisses my issues while trying to give me advice that doesn’t work for me like “just do ___ like I do”. It’s hurtful that she doesn’t seem to take it seriously despite admitting that she always knew I “learned differently” than other people.

It’s kinda funny, that my closest friends turn out to have the same issues at varying degrees; a couple worse than me who dropped out of college because of these issues. Of course I lost some friends along the way though, making it difficult to trust any more people.

And I guess that’s why I felt so at home during my compounding rotation. They accepted me instead of constantly comparing me to other people, or other students. I felt safe to be myself there, even though it took a long time for me to finally start opening up.

[foxingpeculiar]

FF7 R&R:

Okay. So before I go to Shinra HQ there’s a bunch of stuff to do.

So first, there’s that moment that Barrett and Tifa share after the collapse of the pillar. It’s a tender moment between two characters that don’t get a lot of chemistry, generally speaking, so it’s nice to see that.

Sephiroth appears again, but it seems clear from this scene that he’s not actually present, he’s just a vision in Cloud’s head, probably because of the whole Jenova connection that binds them. Which makes me wonder—we’ve seen a couple of Jenova clones so far in the game, but the Whispers have that same kind of vibe: the sort of menacing, hooded quality. Makes me wonder if there’s a connection there, especially since they seem tied to Aerith and Sephiroth. I guess we’ll see.

Elymra’s memories of the war are poignant, and we briefly see Aerith’s birth mom in them (I should remember her name, but I don’t right now). Do we know what the war was about? Someone in Sector 5 comments at some point “Mako reactors—we’ve got em, they want em,” but surely there’s more to it than that. Maybe we’ll learn more when we actually go to Wutai, whenever that happens.

So Tseng, in that flashback, mentions “the scriptures” and I wanna know more about that. What kind of “scriptures?” Who wrote them? What role does religion play in this world? We don’t really get a lot of that.

Wedge isn’t dead! I thought he was. I wonder if he’ll come back into the story at some point.

What was the purpose of the Failed Experiment in the Shinra lab underneath the city? It must have something to do with Jenova, right? But they don’t really go into that, at least not so far.

When Cloud dreams of Aerith, is she really communicating with him? Is that in her power as a Cetra? She says “You can’t fall in love with me,” which doesn’t seem like something his brain would’ve come up with on its own. Because clearly he kind of has, despite still having feelings for Tifa too. Like, damn, my dude, you are in the mess of it, aren’t you?

Kyrie is an interesting character. When she first shows up talking shit about AVALANCHE, it’s like “who’s this bitch?” But then there’s the sidequest where she’s Mirielle’s granddaughter and clearly something of an accomplished thief in her own right. I wonder if we’ll run into her again—she did say something about getting out of Midgar, so it seems possible.

So it’s fuckin’ sidequest city at this point. I don’t know if I did em all last time I played this, but I did this time. A chance to kind of go back through most of the places I’ve been (that haven’t been destroyed). That Behemoth fight was fun. And none of them are that bad—an open world game this is not.

The whole thing with Leslie kind of threw me cos I’m like “am I supposed to know who this is?” But he has kind of a touching quest—Tifa being like “maybe she’s still out there somewhere” kind of made me tear up a little.

Corneo’s so cringe. He even does his whole “a villain only reveals his plans in a certain situation” bit a second time, like that’s a practiced line for him, a routine he does before he kills people. I’m excited to track him down in part 2 (or part 3–not sure how that’s all going to play out, but eventually).

But okay. Now I have the grappling guns, I’ve got my shit sorted. Now it’s really time to make for Shinra HQ.

It’s fascinating playing this again—how it’s familiar, yet so much more… I dunno, zoomed in and detailed than the story I know by heart. And I do—I got the original game when it came out, ran a Geocities page about it, wrote my own walkthrough and everything. This is a game I KNOW and is near and dear to my heart, so it’s interesting seeing how they’re spinning it in a slightly different way. I’m curious if that will expand in Rebirth—if there will be more deviation, or if it’ll follow a similar formula, where it’s kind of the same, at least in the major beats, but filling in so much more detail. But we’ll get there. Got a tower to climb first.

[foxbox23232]

Today I woke up and felt like posting mayhem. I wanted to know, is religion as deadly as people claim it is? As Christians we do believe every other religion besides ours is potentially satanic but besides that point.. I did research earlier trying to figure it out and this is what I’ve learned:

Catholics- referencing inquisition it’s kind of an unknown number because of plague but estimated around 150,000-? also very controversial hard to pin down a number. “However, most people today have no idea how this figure of 50 million was originally computed” …. Most likely many died from wars, crusades, and other events

Muslims- have murdered about 160,000 people so far since 1979 and still murdering to this day

Hitler- nazi, about 6 million people murdered

Stalin- atheist, 6-9 million people murdered

North Korean government- athiest, 300,000-800,000 people annually (not just murder but also starvation which is basically murder) but estimated full blown murder mid-value of 1,663,000

Chinese government- atheist since 1949, still murdering to this day. Estimated 30-70 million people murdered

Abortion, done by mainly atheist, 63,000,000 children murdered so far world wide. Some even claim that 73 million abortions are done yearly worldwide wide… (Not just US) based off of votes and belief systems. I say mainly atheist because you cannot tell me a Christian or anyone who believes in a God would get an abortion, and if they do, I don’t believe they really were ever a believer. I’m not saying they’re stupid, but it completely goes against most belief systems that believe in a God. Also most abortion is completely unnecessary it’s not because of rape or defects most times. It’s just because they don’t want the baby.

So could it actually be, atheists are not so full of love, light, and logic like they claim to be? How could it possibly be that they have gotten it so entirely wrong… Hmm really makes you think. I encourage people to listen less and do your own research and find this stuff out for yourself from reputable sources. I am afraid that Jesus was right, and many are just blind these days. I think claiming “Christians have killed the most people” is the greatest lie Satan could have ever possibly came up with.

Something you have to understand too about Muslims vs Christians is no, they aren’t the same. The quran was written poorly enough so that many people kill in Allahs name. The bible does not support murder like the quran also does not, but is written well enough to have not gotten that messed up. It’s pretty clear in the Bible we do not support murder at all. I can’t really say that though, for the quran. I’m not saying that Muhammad wanted people to do that, but it was written poorly enough to where that’s what they ended up doing. So if he was truly a divine source, how could it possibly be he f*ked up that bad??? This is only one of the problems I have with this religion.

As for Catholicism, the number could be higher, even if it was an estimated 50 million (which according to research is probably not) you got to keep in mind Catholicism ≠ Christianity. We worship completely different things and live our life a completely different way. I have never met a christian that has claimed we are the same as Catholics. Catholics tend to say that, I notice because they are confused and don’t even understand their own religion. To be honest, I’m not even sure if my grandparents made it to heaven which breaks my heart… 😕 but the Lord has personally revealed to me that catholicism is a false religion which if you know anything about the religion you can see that it is.

I’m telling you guys right now now is the time to start gathering nonperishable, bibles, and gather your guns cuz the world is going mad and just delusional. I swear I’m not a genius, I just know how to think for myself and use the internet. Like this information is literally accessible to anyone with a phone lol I also took psychology classes in college I’m aware groupthinking is an epidemic

[perpetual-fool]

Musings 1

(01/01/23, 1.1k) Thoughts on various subjects I've been thinking about. (cooking, Linux, language, music, religion)

I may have figured out a way to cook that works with my executive dysfunction. (I think that's what it is: difficulty starting or switching tasks.) First, it's easier for me to do tasks in bulk. Prepping an entire bag of onions or something is just as much work as prepping a single meal. So I should do the former, having ingredients ready to assemble into a meal. But secondly, even just assembly may be too much. Often I really want to just shove something in my mouth. Microwaving is manageable, but most things don't reheat all that well and the dish tends to get hot before the food does. Tangent: glass dishes are a lot better than ceramic for the microwave, but it doesn't eliminate the problem. I've made a couple foods that fit that need for me. One was a weird food bar thing, basically nutraloaf? but made to actually taste good. Though making food dry enough to handle generally requires starches, and I eat fairly low-carb. The other thing was soup, blended smooth enough to just drink. For whatever reason it's less effort to deal with 'generic food drink' than anything with recognizable bits. It doesn't look like much but it tastes like whatever went into it. The texture is a bit better now that I have a more powerful blender. And it makes for a great base if I feel like turning it into regular soup.

Diacritics on Linux seem to be borked. At least on this version of Mint. Specifically I can't seem to get "c^" to work. It's available on the international layout, but that's for an ISO keyboard and mine is ANSI (European vs American). There is a special option specifically for Esperanto characters but I can't find an explanation on how to use it. One post seemed to suggest you could set up a 'third layer' key and that would let you type the special characters but that didn't work. Knowing Linux, it's likely the feature might just be broken. Hypothetically I could make a custom keyboard layout, or change how the 'compose' key works. But that would entail hours of digging through incomprehensibly named directories looking for the incantations I'm supposed to use, and it still might not work for no clear reason. The only good solution here seems to be a programmable keyboard, assuming its software isn't borked too. Okay so it's just working now, stulta maŝino.

I'd like to hear what Klingon metal might sound like. Thematically something like Sabaton would be appropriate, but with Klingon's consonant clusters it might have to sound more like Rammstein. Are there conlang bands in general? or do the kind of people who learn languages for fun not generally overlap with musicians? Apparently there's Stovokor, either they're not very good or it's not my thing. I like the concept but with that style of vocals I can't make out what they're saying, largely defeating the purpose. And there's Kosmic Horrör, they're pretty decent. Although the bIHnuchpu' haven't fully committed to Klingon. The spoken stuff would sound better that way, I think.

Maybe I've never liked "screaming" because I've never heard it done well. The problem seems to be that the pitch is mostly gone, losing the melody, as are the lyrics, since it's incomprehensible. I feel that's a compromise too far. But then I heard Pisces, which is almost intelligible. Playing with the technique myself, there's no reason you couldn't enunciate the consonants more. You might need to add syllables to make it work, but it's workable. And the pitch issue sounds similar to tuning drums. Supposedly, they put out such a wide range of frequencies that it really isn't meaningful to tune them to any specific note. So possibly, "screaming" should be used like percussion, focusing on rhythm.

I shouldn't be surprised by this, I'm having the same sort of trouble learning vocal techniques as I was with cooking or sharpening. Broadly, any isolated explanation I found was generally either wrong or incomplete, and I had to look up a bunch of different versions to find something that worked. Sometimes they were all wrong and I had to figure it out myself. Specifically, I'm trying to learn 'growl': vocal distortion created with the false vocal folds (supposedly). One technique said it was like coughing (but polite, high in your throat) and that was wrong. A better technique, for 'blues growl', was to close off the back of your throat with your tongue (the Meatwad voice) and sigh through that. And you should feel the vibrations at the back of your tongue. I'm not sure if that's effective yet, but it doesn't hurt.

I'm considering alternate tunings for my bass. Switching doesn't matter at this point since I haven't built any substantial muscle memory. Why I might want to: intervals that are closer together are easier to play, but if they're further apart the instrument as a whole has a greater range. Sympathetic resonance and chord fingerings would also be a consideration but don't apply to my circumstances. Thirds tuning (each string is tuned four 'half-steps' apart) seems pretty great. It puts the chromatic scale (every possible note) straight horizontally across the neck, no shifting at all (sort of). I also tried tritone tuning (6 notes apart, the most dissonant interval in the system) thinking maybe that would cut down on the rumbling you get on strings you're not playing. But it didn't help, sympathetic resonance clearly isn't the problem. I need to map out the different tunings to get a better idea of what's going on.

And I found out that Mormons have their own version of the bible. I wondered if they omitted the curse at the end of Revelation regarding not adding or removing from the book. Apparently no, and the justification for changing things is insipid and boring. "I'm not changing it, I'm restoring it to its original intent!" And the argument for why that's acceptable is.. I don't have a word for it. There's just no actual position there. "I believe _" isn't an argument. But that's generally how religious people are, I should've expected that.

[geraldtarrant]

Our fandom is so lucky that you stumbled onto these books! Loving the reviews. 

Agree about the mix of contemporary/sci-fi concepts and fantasy being cool. Also sadly agree on the stuff about women, although in fairness none of this stood out to me when I was a teen reading these books in the late 90s. I’ve also recently watched some Star Trek DS9 and oh boy, I don’t remember that era as being quite that sexist. In hindsight lots of things haven’t aged well so I chalk this stuff up under “acceptable in the 90s.”

Yeah the Church’s plan stops making sense once you start thinking about it. There’s the whole ‘either there’s a god already there or we’ll create one' stance to begin with. I always figured that was a way to appease both the religious and non-religious audience of these books. But don’t those two Church approaches clash? If there already is a god then wouldn’t he know if there are humans settled anywhere in the galaxy just by virtue of being, you know, God? Or if his power only covers part of the universe then would he suddenly hear some humans out of his range if they start praying a whole lot, like a religious broadcast of Seti@Home? But okay let’s say he’s out there - wouldn’t he have an issue if Ernans also create their own homemade god via the fae? Because most gods tend to not go in for competition. And besides, would God help tame the fae? He didn’t do anything to fix the environmental apocalypse on future Earth so why would he interfere with human-made problems on other planets? Oh but he wouldn't fix it directly, it’s people believing in him that would fix it. Except then what’s with the deus ex in book 2? And why would you need god in the first place? I guess nothing speaks as universally and powerfully to people as believing in a god that they know doesn’t yet exist. 

Also the idea that this belief system calms the mind so its influence on the fae is less turbulent is pretty absurd considering that they’re creating the most judgmental god ever. I mean, thought crimes are a big part of this supposedly merciful religion. Half of Damien’s prayers are worrying that for a moment he thought about the wrong thing or was happy/worried about something he shouldn’t have been or that he’ll somehow become ‘corrupted’ via, er, it’s not exactly clear but it seem that thinking too much or too deeply also doesn’t meet with this god’s approval. Unless what one thinks about is feeling guilty over everything constantly and begging god for forgiveness. That’s all right to do in unlimited quantities.

Despite all this and even as a lifelong atheist, I ate up all the religious lore and took it at face value like with the magic system. That alone says a lot about the pull these books have on me. 

Andrys and Narilka, yeah, everything you said. I do remember my 17-year-old self being impressed that Andrys could make small talk with the Patriarch so smoothly. Teenage autistic life goals ftw. (I’m considerably less impressed by it now, for the record.)

Them meeting up in a bathhouse after - I’m pretty sure this exact fic exists on Ao3, though I can’t remember the name. The fishing rod - is that actually mentioned?? I completely forgot or I guess I glossed over it and now I can't stop laughing about the fishing shop image. 

Gearld overcoming his sexism by virtue of it being sucked out of him via alien sex is not the most profound character development arc, but points for originality. 

Amoril’s origin story is part of the short story Dominion, one of the 2 prequels. His interactions with Gerald have nice hurt/comfort vibes and are the better part of that story imo.  Do you read fic?? Because there are several out there that are so worth reading if you're bewildered by the ending and/or want more post-canon Gerald as well all do. @theobscurepotato has the perfect multi-chapter ending fix-it that’s now canon in my head, and did you know there’s even an AU ending fic by astolat! Happy to link more in the notes.

Crown of Shadows by C.S. Friedman

Genre: Sci-Fantasy Star Rating: 4,25 ⭐️

Plot: ⬜️ Plot holes big enough for a herd of elephants ⬜️ I think I’ve read this before. (Unoriginal to the max.) ⬜️ No plot, just vibes ⬜️ Enjoyable but not super memorable. ✅ You have my undivided attention. ⬜️ Mind = Blown

Characters: ⬜️ Mary Sue is in the house! ⬜️ These are cardboard cut-outs. ⬜️ Good main cast, but the rest is forgettable at best. ⬜️ Generally well written. ✅ Complex ⬜️ What do you mean characters? These feel like real people!

Personal Enjoyment: ⬜️ DNF ⬜️ Somebody free me from this hell (but also no, I won’t DNF) ⬜️ WTF did I just read??? ⬜️ I don’t like it, but I also don’t hate it. ⬜️ It’s a good book but I just never want to pick it back up. ⬜️ No strong feelings either way. ⬜️ Enjoyable read ✅ What a page turner! This is fun! ⬜️ I think I’m in love ⬜️ (new) all time favourite

World Building: ⬜️ This takes place in our world. ⬜️ Worldbuilding what worldbuilding? ⬜️ This feels like a TV set. ⬜️ Not super deep, but present. ✅ Detailed, believable. ⬜️ You bet every single ant has its own 100 page backstory!

Pacing: ⬜️ drags/is rushed in all the wrong places ⬜️ Inconsistent ⬜️ something undefinable feels off ⬜️ I don’t love it it but it fits the book perfectly. ✅ Good/no complaints ⬜️ Amazing! Could not put this down!

Writing: ⬜️ This is painful ⬜️ I’m cringing ⬜️ Not great, but not bad either. ⬜️ Neutral (Didn’t really notice.) ✅ Elegant but not overly flowery. ⬜️ So beautiful I actually stopped and noticed it. ⬜️ I’m not sure if this is just a bad translation. ⬜️ I’m not confident enough in my language skills for this language to comment on the quality of the writing.

Wow, I can't believe I've finished the series this fast! That alone says a lot about how much I liked it :) As usual, here's a bunch of rambly thoughts:

For the most part I feel like I did about the other two books - plot is fine but character work and world building take the cake. The plot was still fairly straight-forward, but I will say that it was a bit more complex with the dual plot-lines. A bit I don't think I've mentioned before that I love: due to the set up we get sorcery and sword type stuff but also tourism, instant soup, insurance companies, etc. (Did I imagine the aspirin?) The mix between modern and old timey things is great!

Unfortunately I also still feel the same about the treatment of women within the series. Sure, the argument could be made that maybe it's just Damien who's a bit misogynistic in his POV, and Gerald is just generally The Most Terrible Person ™ around, but it still doesn't sit right with me. Especially since we start the book with Gerald's lunch committing suicide. Was that weird bit about Damien's landlady necessary? Was there no other way to explain how Iezu perceive the world other than "Holy shit can you believe that middle aged lady dares to think of herself as attractive, lol what a hag" ?? But hey, Narilka is still alive! I suppose if you exist to redeem the Gerald clone you get to live. (I can't believe I forgot poor Almea in my last rant. The fridging that started it all! ...is it still fridging if the man murders her himself??)

As for the plot lines, on one hand I really, really enjoyed getting more POVs! ...maybe just not the ones we actually got xD The patriarch was probably my favourite, even if almost every second I spent inside his head was incredibly frustrating. Some of that may be due to Calesta's influence, but for the most part it's probably just him being the fantasy-pope. There's a reason I left the church xD That being said, I appreciate that he actually whole-heartedly believes what he is preaching. The thing that confuses me the most about the church is its stance on working the fae. As I understood it, it was designed to focus the fae, making it a bit less dangrous for the general population. And also providing humanity with the concentrated power of the beliefs and faith of thousands if not millions, which could eventually be used for space travel. (Or something in that vein.) Anyway, I thought it was very clear that they are still manipulating the fae, just on an enormous scale, and disapproved of private sorcery. But at times it kind of felt like the patriarch sort of forgot that (or deliberately repressed it?). All those "no, this isn't witchcraft, this is a miracle from God!" moments felt so odd because - of course its the same thing? You literally created your God yourselves by those exact same means??? Oh well, church is hypocritical, fork found in kitchen.

Andrys and Narilka I actually liked well enough, as long as they weren't on page together. Or thinking about each other. Actually, scratch that. I liked Narilka when she wasn't being compared to teacups or dolls! But then she had to fall in love with Andrys after talking to him...twice? Andrys... I mean he was there and relevant to the plot. I do feel bad for him, but there wasn't really that much to him other than (admittedly horrific) trauma and an uncanny resemblance to his great-great ....-great grandpa. And drugs to cope with all of that. Small pet peeve: the nickname Andri. WHY. You're literally just taking of one letter (and changing the other because....aesthetics??)

On to more enjoyable ramblings!!! The Damien-Gerlad dynamic in this book was just *chef's kiss* You can't just hit me with the "You changed me" speech that early in the book, I was not prepared xD The many ways in which we see the depth of their...friendship... were just sweet (especially post-hell), and such a contrast to the first book! (Well, Damien still tells us constantly how hot Gerald is, that hasn't changed at all xD My dude literally described his very platonic bestie as "aesthetic perfection". A few pages after Karril rerminds us of how very straight he is, of course.) Now maybe at this point my rose coloured shipper glasses are just glued to my face, but that moment when he tried to explain how Almea supposedly feels also slightly came across as him projecting just a bit. (Gerald is right, Almea (or the Almea-thing) has every right to be pissed, honestly she should have shown up with ghostly divorce papers. Or maybe Damien was right and she just wanted to see him jump into a volcano for a good cause, who knows.) There are some things I would have loved to see more of: - the mental link between Damien and Gerald was criminally under-used, imo. Did it change Damien physically somehow, since Gerald no longer felt cold to him? Is he now part vampire for ever xD (And dear god that whole bit about taking the Hunter into his body, whyyy xDD) - honestly I would have loved to see Gerald readjusting to being human (and being incredibly annoyed about it) a bit more. It's been 900+ years, surely there's stuff he's forgotten? I mean he spent the vast majority of his life being the stuff of nightmares! - Gerald honestly wanting and trying to redeem himself (sure, he was ready to sacrifice himself in the end, but it kind of struck me as a last minute decision. And you can't tell me being the first to kill a Iezu and saving the world didn't also appeal to his ego). But I get that that would take another 10 books, minimum

Damiens break with the church was a long time coming, and handled well, I think. Oddly enough, priest never struck me as a job that you can just quit.

I just remembered about Gerald's apprentice (Amoril?). What an idiot. I would have loved to know how he came to be the Hunter's apprentice though. Can you apply for scolarships? Anyway, trashing a library is unforgivable in my book ;)

Oh, and Hell! Hell was surprisingly meh to me, but I did appreciate the insight into how the Iezu operate (which was probable the main point of that scene anyway). Love that Damien could just reason with the literal devil. (But the concept of the Devil as a non-unified entity was actually cool though). How did it take Damien so long to understand what the mountain of dead women could possibly be. Neither he nor the reader are stupid enough not to get it. Friedman usually doesn't hold our hand and over explains in the series, why start now?? Shock factor? I doubt anyone cared enough about Sisa? Sasi? for that to work.

OK I promise I'm coming to an end soon but guys. Guys. The epilogue. The freaking epilogue. What a trip that was xDDD 1) The Wedding. Karril POV was... certainly something! We now officially know that not only women find Andrys attractive. (Take that, Damien "idk, he's probably attractive to women but also aesthetic perfection" Vryce. Did I need to know about potential Iezu sex that only benefits the (currently presenting as) male partner? No, not really. Also WTF was that scene with Andrys' ex lovers. I know we're supposed to see and rejoice in the fact that Andrys is no longer a playboy, but did we really need that "women hating women for the benefit of some hot guy" thing in here? I swear there were bits in the series where I could have sworn it was written by man (derogatory). At least Narilka remained unbothered. Presumably moisturised. Very happy and in her lane. Focused on her wedding, as she should be. She gets to live on to be compared to countless fragile things made of porcelain, whether she wants it or not. 2) Freaking Riven Forrest. I was cackling throughout that whole bit. Not only does he get to hunt and terrify people just like his father, he also runs a successful (?) fishing rod business on the side. (I know, I know, hunting supplies in general, the rods just kind of stuck out to me). The fact that the intelligent prey he looks forward to hunting the most is once again a woman (even if it is an abusive, horrible woman) tells us exactly what part the Iezu mother chose to take from the OG Hunter, huh. Which is great for Gerald, but a weird choice on her part?? But dear God the last bit. He keeps a portait of Gerald above his fireplace??? I finally completely lost it at "Here's to you, dad" xDDD 3) The "dark haired youth". Of course he survived. I was suspicious as soon as we didn't actually get to see Andrys kill him. As for the new persona - I suspected who he was, but the moment I was really sure was when Damien started describing him in loving detail. For an entire paragraph. That was half a page long. But the ending. WTF. I could have accepted Gerald's Death, but this? You're telling me after all they went through together, and after he basically just risked his life again by saying hi to Damien in the most cryptic way possible, they just...never talked again?! Nah, in my expert opinion they just met up in the next bathhouse. Also I wanted to see the guy suffer be annoyed a bit more because he can no longer Work to maintain his image. (I'd also have loved to know Geralds criteria for his new body, vain as he is. What was his thought process? "Oh no, the wonderful world of magical horse-breeding is now lost to me! Guess I'll just have to make sure that from now on I have the most majestic ponytail out there!"? Although, come on. He might be willing to risk his life for a horse.) My last words: I enjoyed this series so much more than I ever thought I would, and these idiots now live rent-free in my brain. Also how the f- are we supposed to read these books as an entirely platonic relationship? The most I'll agree to is some weird, slightly cursed QPR. But come on. COME ON. Even if they are both heterosexual (notwithstanding Damiens constant thirsting casual descriptions) they are definitely in love. Or just so deeply obsessed with, and at this point, sort of dependent on each other (Gerlad's words, not mine. sort of) that it makes little to no difference.

I know there's some prequels (?) I think I might check them out sometime.

[gendercensus]

On fae/faer pronouns and cultural appropriation

HOW IT STARTED

I had a handful, a very small handful but more than two, responses in the Gender Census feedback box telling me that fae/faer pronouns are appropriative. The reasons didn’t always agree, and the culture that was being appropriated wasn’t always the same, but here’s a selection of quotes:

“Fae pronouns are cultural appropriation and are harmful to use“ - UK, age 11-15

“I’m not a person who practices pagan holidays but, my understanding is that pronouns like fae/faeself are harmful because the fae are real to pagans and is like using Jesus/jesuself as pronouns“ - UK, age 11-15

“I know you've probably heard this a million times, so has everyone on the internet, but the ''mere existence''of the fae pronoun feels really uncomfortable for some of us. I'm personally not against neopronouns like xe/xim, er/em and the like, I am a pagan but apart from the, imo most important, reasoning of that pronoun being immensely disrespectful, I worry as an nb about people who banalize the usage of pronouns ''for fun'', and I'm quoting what some people have told me.“ - Spain, 16-20

“I don't agree with fae/deity pronouns just from a pagan perspective it's very disrespectful to the cultures they come from. Like Fae are a legit thing in many cultures and they hate with a fiery passion mortal humans calling themselves Fae to the point of harming/cursing the people who do it“ - USA, age 16-20

“only celtic people can use far/ faers otherwise it’s cultural appropriation, many celts have said this and told me this“ - USA, age 16-20

So that’s:

❓ Someone who doesn’t say whether they’re pagan or Celtic.

❌ Someone who definitely isn’t pagan.

✅ Someone who is pagan.

❓ Someone who doesn’t say whether they’re pagan or Celtic.

❓ Someone who doesn’t say whether they’re pagan or Celtic.

So, just to disclose some bias up-front, I am English so I’m not Celtic, but I do live in Wales so I am surrounded by Celts. The bit of Wales that I live in is so beautiful in such a way that when my French friend came to visit me she described it as féerique - like an enchanting, magical land, literally “fairylike” or thereabouts. Coincidentally I have also considered myself mostly pagan for over half of my life, and I can’t definitively claim whether or not the Fae are “part of paganism” because paganism is so diverse and pick’n’mix that it just doesn’t work that way.

To me the idea that fae/faer pronouns would be offensive or culturally appropriative sounds absurd. But also, I am powered by curiosity, and have been wrong enough times in my life that I wanted to approach this in a neutral way with an open mind. Perhaps what I find out can be helpful to some people.

So since we only have information from one person who is definitely directly affected by any cultural appropriation that may be happening, the first thing I wanted to do was get some information from ideally a large number of people who are in the cultures being appropriated, and see what they think.

~

WHAT I DID

First of all I put some polls up on Twitter and Mastodon. [Edit: Note that this post has been updated with results from closed polls.]

I specified that I wanted to hear from nonbinary Celts and pagans, just so that the voters would be familiar with fae/faer pronouns. I asked the questions in a neutral way, i.e. “How do you feel about...” with “good/neutral/bad” answer options, instead of something more leading like “Is this a load of rubbish?” or “are you super offended?” with “yes/no” options. I provided a “see results” option, so that the poll results wouldn’t be skewed as much by random people clicking any old answer to see the results. And I invited voters to express their opinions in replies.

Question #1: Nonbinary people of Celtic descent (Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Cornwall, the Isle of Man, and Brittany), how do you feel about non-Celtic people using the neopronoun set fae/faer? [ It's good / No strong feelings/other / It's bad ]

Question #2: Nonbinary pagans, how do you feel about non-pagans using the neopronoun set fae/faer? [ It's good / No strong feelings/other / It's bad ]

The Twitter polls got over 1,100 responses each, and the Mastodon polls got over 140 responses each. With a little bit of spreadsheetery I removed the “N/A” responses to reverse engineer the number of people voting for each option, combined those numbers, and recalculated percentages.

Obviously this approach is not in the least scientific, but thankfully the results were unambiguous enough and the samples were big enough that I feel comfortable drawing conclusions.

Celts on fae/faer pronouns being used by non-Celts (561 voters):

It's good - 42.5%

No strong feelings/other - 44.0%

It's bad - 13.5%

Pagans on fae/faer pronouns being used by non-pagans (468 voters):

It's good - 47.2%

No strong feelings/other - 39.5%

It's bad - 13.3%

Here’s how that looks as a graph:

The limitations of polls on these platforms means that we have no way to distinguish between people who have more complicated views (”other”) and people who have “no strong feelings”, so we can’t really draw conclusions there. If we stick to just the pure positive and pure negative:

Celts were over three times as likely to feel positive about non-Celts using fae/faer pronouns than they were to feel negative.

Pagans were over three and a half times as likely to feel positive about non-pagans using fae/faer pronouns than they were to feel negative.

So Celts and pagans are way more likely to feel actively good about someone’s fae/faer pronouns, even when that person is not a Celt/pagan. That’s some strong evidence against the idea that fae/faer pronouns are appropriative, right there.

~

CORRECTIONS

To be clear, I haven’t done any research about the roots of fae/faer or the origins of the Fae and related beings, but my goal here was to get a sense of what Celts and pagans think and feel, rather than what an historian or anthropologist would say.

On the anti side, here were the replies that suggested fae/faer either is or might be inappropriate:

“I only worry that not everyone understands the origin of the word outside of modernized ideas of fairies.“ - pagan

“As a vaguely spiritual Whatever (Ireland), I think a mortal using "fae" as a pronoun/to refer to themselves is asking for a malicious and inventive fairy curse (on them, their families and possibly anyone in their vicinity, going by the traditions). I have not heard of this term before, so this is an immediate reaction from no background bar my cultural knowledge of sidhe/fae/term as culturally appropriate. My general approach is people can identify themselves as they want.“ - Celtic

So we’ve got a pagan who’s wary that people who use fae/faer (and people in general) might not have a fully fleshed out idea of the Fae. And we’ve got a Celt who doesn’t mind people using fae/faer personally, but based on what they know of the Fae they wouldn’t be surprised if the Fae got mad about it. No outright opposition, but a little concern.

There were not a lot of replies on the pro side, but not because people weren’t into it, judging by the votes. There were a lot of “it’s more complicated than that” replies, many of which repeated others, so quotes won’t really work. Here’s a summary of the Celtic bits:

“Fae” is not a Celtic word, and Celts don’t use it. It is French, or Anglo-French.

“Fae” can refer to any number of stories/legends from a wide variety of cultures in Europe, not one cohesive concept.

There are many legends about fairy-like beings in Celtic mythologies, and there are many, many different names for them.

The Celts are not a monolith, they’re a broad selection of cultures with various languages and various mythologies.

And the pagan bits:

Paganism is not closed or exclusive in any way. It might actually be more open than anything else, as “pagan” is a sort of umbrella term for non-mainstream religions in some contexts. A closed culture would be a prerequisite for something to be considered “appropriated” from paganism.

From my own experience, pagans may or may not believe in the Fae, and within that group believers may or may not consider the Fae to be sacred and/or worthy of great respect. (I’ve certainly never met a pagan who worshipped the Fae, though I don’t doubt that some do.)

And then we get into the accusations. 🍿

“this issue wasn’t started by Celtic groups or by people who know much about Celtic fae. It was started primarily by anti-neopronoun exclusionist pagans on TikTok.“

“[I’m] literally Scottish [...] and it’s not appropriative in the least and honestly to suggest as such is massively invalidating towards actual acts of cultural appropriation and is therefore racist. Feel like if this was actually brought up it was either by some people who seriously got their wires crossed or people who are just concern trolling and trying to make fun of both neo-pronouns and of the concept of cultural appropriation and stir the pot in the process.“

“It wouldn't be the first time bigots falsly claim “it's appropriative from X marginalized group" to harass people they don't like, like they did with aspec people when they claimed "aspec" was stolen from autistic language (which was false, as many autistics said)“

“It's been a discussion in pagan circles recently ... People were very quick to use the discussion as an excuse to shit on nonbinary people.“

“I think it would be apropos to note that the word "faerie/fairy" has been a synonym for various queer identities for decades, too. The Radical Faeries are a good example.“ (So if anyone has the right to [re]claim it...)

A little healthy skepticism is often wise in online LGBTQ+ “discourse”, and some of these people are making some very strong claims, for which I’d love to see some evidence/sources/context. Some of it certainly sounds plausible.

~

HOW DID IT START?

I had a look on Twitter and the earliest claim I can find that fae/faer pronouns are cultural appropriation is from 18th February 2020, almost exactly one year ago today. Again, tweets are not the best medium for this, there was very little in the way of nuance or context. If anyone can find an older claim from Twitter or Tumblr or anywhere else online, please do send it my way.

I have no idea how to navigate TikTok because I’m a nonbinosaur. (I’m 34.) I did find some videos of teens and young adults apparently earnestly asserting that they were Celtic or pagan and the use of fae/faer pronouns was offensive, but the videos were very brief and provided nothing in the way of nuance or context. For example:

This one from October 2020 with 29k ❤️s, by someone who I assume is USian based on the word “mom”?

This one from December 2020, that says “I am pagan and i find it rather disrespectful. It’s like using god/godr or jesus/jesusr.” That’s probably what inspired the feedback box comment above that refers to hypothetical jesus/jesusr pronouns.

If anyone is able to find a particularly old or influential TikTok video about fae/faer pronouns being appropriative I’d really appreciate it, especially if it’s from a different age group or from not-the-USA, to give us a feel for how universal this is.

For context, fae pronouns were mentioned in the very first Gender Census back in May 2013, though you’ll have to take my word for it as the individual responses are not currently public. The word “fae” was mentioned in the pronoun question’s “other” textbox, and no other forms in the set were entered so we have no way of knowing for sure what that person’s full pronoun set actually is. This means the set may have been around for longer. The Nonbinary Wiki says that the pronoun set was created in October 2013, as “fae/vaer”, later than the first entry in the Gender Census, so I’ll be editing that wiki page later! If anyone has any examples of fae/faer pronouns in use before 2013 I would also be very interested to see that.

~

IN SUMMARY

Obviously I can’t speak for everyone, as the Twitter polls are not super scientific and they only surveyed a selection of Celts and pagans within a few degrees of separation of the Gender Census Twitter and Mastodon accounts, but I can certainly report on what I found.

For a more conclusive result, we’d need to take into account various demographics such as age, culture, location, religion, race/heritage, etc.

As far as I can tell based on fairly small samples of over 400 people per group, a minority of about 13% of Celtic and/or pagan people felt that use of fae/faer pronouns is appropriative.

A much higher number of people per group felt positive about people who are not Celts or pagans using fae/faer pronouns. The predominant view was:

It can’t be cultural appropriation from Celtic cultures because fairy-like beings are not unique to Celtic cultures and Celtic cultures don’t call them Fae.

It can’t be cultural appropriation from pagan cultures because paganism is not “closed” or exclusive in any way, it’s too broad and open.

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If your experience of your gender(s) or lack thereof isn’t described or encompassed by the gender binary of “male OR female”, please do click here to take the Gender Census 2021 - it’s international and it closes no earlier than 10th March 2021!

[capseycartwright]

me: i’ve processed my religious trauma i won’t be that intense about it in this fic

also me:

Bobby nodded. “The Church has a lot to answer for,” he began, and Eddie couldn’t help the childish bubble of laughter that escaped his throat as he realised Bobby Nash was about to do a brutal takedown of the institution of the Catholic Church in their own house. “For a multitude of sins – to use the language they use against us, for them. For a religion that is supposed to be about loving your neighbour, the modern teachings of the church don’t advise us to offer a whole lot of grace.”

Grace. That was a funny one, wasn’t it? To give grace, and thanks – it was a cornerstone of the religion that Eddie had been raised in. Every night, they would say grace before dinner, to thank God for the food, and for the hands that made it. His mom would let out a delighted ‘thank God’ at every good test score, as though God had been the one to slave over textbooks every night for weeks. ‘Thank God’ his father would say, as the scoreboard ticked over and Eddie finally did something to please him instead of disappoint him, a ball in hand and miles of distance between them, the only way their relationship had ever been tolerable.

Eddie even did it himself – ‘thank God for you, kid’ he’d grin fondly at Christopher, thanking whatever God was listening for sending him the best, brightest, most loving kid he’d ever known. Grace was supposed to be at the core of what they believed – and yet when Eddie’s life came crashing down, and Shannon left, he wasn’t offered a lot of grace by the church community his parents were determined to raise Christopher in, too, and Eddie certainly wouldn’t be offered grace, the next time he went back to Texas, and he did it with Buck’s hand in his own.

“I don’t know how to help you align the beliefs you were raised with, with who you are now,” Bobby admitted. “But I can tell you this, Eddie – if anyone is against you, because of who you are, and who you love, they’re not a real Catholic in my eyes.”

Eddie couldn’t help the surprised look he flashed Bobby’s way.

“To love one's neighbour implies that people must be treated with justice and compassion,” Bobby quipped.

“The Good Samaritan,” Eddie recognised.

Bobby grinned. “Exactly,” he confirmed. “Whatever way you interpret the word of God – the Bible is about love, and loving your neighbour, and offering compassion. To go against anyone because of their love, is wrong,” he paused, considering his next words. “But to go against someone who was raised in this church – this supposedly loving, and caring, and kind church – feels like a greater sin that any you or I could ever commit, Eddie.”

Loving. Caring. Kind. Eddie had know the church to be like that, as a child – passionate homilies and grins exchanged in the playroom after service – and then he’d grown up and learned the reality of it, that the kindness was a façade, a ploy to keep control and have people follow, blindly, reassured that their God was kind and forgiving when the institution itself had made it oh-so clear that the Catholic Church was none of those things.