#transattracted
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This Trans-Attracted Man’s Life Gets Better And Better
Every time a client texts me with evidence their life is getting better, I delight in the receipt. That’s because I know when they send me such messages, they’re having the time of their lives. It’s also delightful because their improved life amplifies my knowing in this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business, aka (by some) as “Wishful Thinking”. LOL.
When some people use that “Wishful Thinking” moniker, they’re being pejorative. They don’t believe this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is real. They believe that because this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business is working for them. It’s just reflecting back to them the manifestation of their belief: that this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business doesn’t work, or it’s pseudoscience or new age quackery.
The jokes on them though because this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business isworking, just like it does for me and all my clients. I love that!
But I love more when clients text me with their wonder. That’s what I’m writing about today.
Beliefs defending themselves
This past week a trans-attracted client finds himself as wonder-filled as I am. Except, he’s finding himself so dumbfounded by his manifestation results, he sometimes slips into disbelief.
I love when that happens too because it means that client finds himself in a Belief Confrontation. A Belief Confrontation is when All That Is shows us something at odds with our beliefs. When that happens, the juxtaposition of our belief, and the reality we’re experiencing at that moment, is so jarring, our belief “defends” itself.
Our belief doesn’t put up its dukes and gets into a fist-fight with the reality. It’s not human after all. But the energy and momentum comprising our belief is strong. And that strong momentum, when confronted with another strong momentum of energy or vibration, experiences a kind of polarity shift. Kind of like when you try put two magnets together and they repulse one another.
When that polarity shift happens in a human, the human feels an emotion. Typically the emotion is negative. That negative emotion comes on instantaneously and can feel so strong it can compel the human into a psychologically defensive stance. They’ll resist that which doesn’t accord with their beliefs. Or they might willfully ignore it.
Our civilization is full of examples illustrating this process underway. And it’s underway all the time, everywhere.
It really works
After clients produce evidence that “you create your reality by the stories you tell” is accurate, force accompanying Belief Confrontations ease, allowing the client to feel the force without it taking them over. That’s what happened with this client. He deserves some praise because he’s significantly soothed his Belief Confrontations around the fact that he’s in the driver’s seat of his life, no one else, and that he can create any life he wants.
So when he texted me, he briefly expressed some disbelief, but followed that up with a string of evidence showing this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business works. And that balance – between the brief disbelief and the litany of evidence – amplified within him his growing momentum aligning with the belief “this ‘you create your reality by the stories you tell’ business really works!”
Here’s what he texted me:
^^A trans-attracted client amplifying his belief in this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business by sharing his powerful results.
There’s no evidence proving this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business doesn’t work. Again, even for those who think it doesn’t work, it’s working. It’s working by showing those people a reality in which the belief “this ‘you create your reality by the stories you tell’ business doesn’t work” doesn’t work!
But for those willing to soften that belief, those people’s worlds will increasingly show them that this “you create your reality by the stories you tell” business does work. And as that evidence grows, the person will consciously come into their own power. The power they knew they had when they first incarnated as human.
The Charmed Life
We all came here in our human experiences to enjoy our creative power. That includes trans people. We all are incipient gods becoming more in a structure we have created as a part of the consciousness of All That Is. That sure sounds like a circular argument. But that’s only because All That Is is circular in its awareness and purpose.
All That Is is all about one thing: knowing itself through expanding its awareness of itself. That’s its purpose. And it joyfully prosecutes that purpose. We are physical expressions of All That Is seeking to expand its self-awareness. As such, we too can joyfully create our experiences as we move through our human lives.
We don’t have a choice about the expansion or the experience. But we do have a choice in how that experience happens, what’s included in it, what’s not, and how much we enjoy that experience. That’s our innate gift we give ourselves.
And when we choose to deliberately create experiences which bring us joy, then that experience of human life just gets better and better. Just as my clients are seeing in their lives. And as I’m seeing in mine. It’s the Charmed Life. And it’s available to everyone. Even trans people.
#transgender#transamorous#mtf#transattracted#transgirl#transisbeautiful#transsexual#transamorous men#transattraction#transamorous network
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Happy (belated) birthday @sewers-headmates!! Decided to make you something since you’ve been such an inspiration for us making this blog. You don’t have to do anything with them, of course, since this wasn’t a request, but I hope you like it anyway. - Darkwood
I heard you like Hatchetfield, I heard you like RTC, I heard you like AUs, so I bring you:
Ride the Tearjerker AU Headmate Pack (all level 1s with transids and paras, we wanted to do higher but I think we’d die a little lol- feel free to request any of them upgraded if you like them though!)
———
Name - Grace Chasity
Pronouns - She/Her/Hers
Gender - Cisgender Woman
Sexuality - Bi, but heavily in the closet
Paras - Teratophilia, Erotophonophilia, Autotheophilia, Peccatiphilia
CisIDs - Christian, Murderer, Autistic, Religious OCD
TransIDs - TransStraight, TransHarmless, TransCultLeader, TransRighteous, TransCelibate, TransNeurotypical
Sys Role - Moral Compass, Belief Holder
Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Ocean O’Connel Rosenberg
Sign Off - ✝️, ❤️🩹, 📓, 🫧, 🪓
Name - Alice Woodward
Pronouns - She/Her, They/Them, 🌸/🌸s
Gender - Demigirl, BlossomGender
Sexuality - Lesbian
Paras - Autogratiophilia, Kinemortophilia, Odontophilia, Nyctophilia
CisIDs - Writer, Dyed Hair, GAD, Cottagecore
TransIDs - TransPopular, TransSuccessful, TransRebellious, TransVampire
Sys Role - Social Alter, Creativity Manager, Motivator
Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Noel Gruber
Sign Off - 👩💻, 🖊️, 📝, 💗, 🧛♀️
Name - Ethan Green
Pronouns - He/Him, They/Them, It/Its, Ey/Em, Pine/Pines, Wood/Woods, 🌲/🌲s
Gender - Boyflux, Transmasculine, ForestBoyic
Sexuality - Panromantic Demisexual, femme preference
Paras - Chierophilia, Mechanophilia, Scelerophila, Gratiophilia
CisIDs - Car Fanatic, AuDHD, DPD, Canine Therian, Cyborgkin
TransIDs - TransAlive, TransPhotographer, TransHeight (Taller), TransGamer
Sys Role - Protector
Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Mischa Bachinski
Sign Off - 🧢, 🪓, 🔧, 🚙, 🌲
Name - Richard “Richie” Lipshitz
Pronouns - He/Him, They/Them, Weeb/Weebs, Glitch/Glitches, 👾/👾s
Gender - Trans man, Animegender, Robogender
Sexuality - Gay, Ambiamorous
Paras - Thanatophilia, Poképhilia, Robophilia, Fictophilia (specifically Ficto-Biastophilia)
CisIDs - Cosplayer, Gamer, Anime Obsessed, Otaku, Weep, Lisp, ADHD
TransIDs - TransExchangeStudent, TransJapanese, TransPopular, TransMSpecAttraction
Sys Role - Cringe Culture Holder
Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Ricky Potts
Sign Off - 🤖, 📺, 🦅, 👾, 🎮
Name - Ruth Fleming
Pronouns - She/Her, Shx/Hxr, They/Them, Ey/Em, Star/Stars, ⭐️/⭐️s
Gender - Transfemme Pangender, LoserGirlic
Sexuality - Pansexual Polyamorous HyperRose
Paras - Aptophilia, Agonophilia, Opophilia, Autagonistophilia
CisIDs - Theater Kid, Attention Seeker, Socially Awkward, Loser
TransIDs - TransPretty, TransStarlet, TransAttractive
Sys Role - Trauma Manager, Optimist, HyperRose Holder
Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker - Constance Blackwood
Sign Off - ⭐️, 🤩, 🎬, 🎤, 💡
Name - The unidentified body of the Tearjerker Incident, Hannah Foster
Pronouns - They/Them, Shx/Hxr, Hx/Hxm, Web/Webs, Doll/Dolls, 🕸️/🕸️s
Gender - Genderqueer, FluidFlux, Dollic, Black&Whiteic
Sexuality - AroAcespec
Paras - none
CisIDs - Nonverbal, Autistic, Prophet, Ukelele Player, Abused, Spider Therian, Bunny Therian, Lamb Therian, Musician
TransIDs - TransNormal, TransVerbal, TransUnharmed, TransBlack&White, TransAlive, PermaDissociated
Sys Role - Memory Gatekeeper, Dissociation Manager
Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Jane Doe
Sign Off - 🎶, 💭, 🕸️, 🔲, 🧢
Bonuses:
Name - The Great Blikotep
Pronouns - It/Its, Eye/Eyes,
Gender - Eyegender, Black&Whiteic
Sexuality - Pansexual, Hypersexual, Voyeur
Sys Role - Observer, Gatekeeper
Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, The Great Karnak
Sign Off - 💜, 🎢, 🔌, 🧿, 👁️
Name - Webby the Spider
Pronouns - She/Her, They/Them, Web/Webs, Mys/Tery/Mysterys, Wi/Witch, 🕸️/🕸️s, 🕷️/🕷️s,❔/❔s
Gender - Agender, Femmeflux, Black&Whiteic
Sexuality - Aromantic, Queer, Unlabeled
Sys Role - Gatekeeper, Internal Protector
Source (if applicable) - Ride the Tearjerker, Virgil the Rat
Sign Off - 🕷️, 🕸️, ❔, 🤍, 💤
#⏸️ direct from subject#archivist darkwood#s: hatchetfield#s: team starkid#s: ride the cyclone#c: grace chasity#c: alice woodward#c: ethan green#c: richard lipshitz#c: ruth flemming#c: hannah foster#c: bliklotep#c: webby#build a headmate#build an alter#alter packs
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I almost stopper #blogging because of #transgenderwomen 💨 Im so upset of the #blacktransgenderwomen. Treatment to @malikyoba. And i have alot to say #translivesmatter ? 🌈 #transgenderwomen #lesbian #gaywomen #bisexual #transteen #gayteens #lgbtq #glaad #gaypride. #transattracted. #trannychaser. #transman. #parentoftransgenderchild Go to my. #ravenovah on YouTube i will explain💝 https://www.instagram.com/p/B24t6DLHQ78/?igshid=l00qhbk8aurb
#blogging#transgenderwomen#blacktransgenderwomen#translivesmatter#lesbian#gaywomen#bisexual#transteen#gayteens#lgbtq#glaad#gaypride#transattracted#trannychaser#transman#parentoftransgenderchild#ravenovah
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#MalikYoba explains being a #transattracted #heterosexual, and says its more about ”stepping up.” 📽: (@breakfastclubam) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2SYs63n8K1/?igshid=1r0n3ob0o3w3y
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To my fish everything i do is for the culture. For us by us. I created fishline for you to do you! As we approach our 1 year anniversary i want to stress the importance of supporting each other. We create our own narrative PERIODT. So help me help you. I would love to feature my followers so don’t be shy. Fish and Gents show me what your working with! Dm your best photos!! FISH show your best young fly and trans! GENTS show the ladies your best swag! Please don’t be shy! . . . . The time is now ! #girlslikeus is simply the shit. #periodt . . . . #goodvibesonly #transattracted #transdating #lovewins🌈 #_fishline #fishline #new #timeisnow #blackownedbusiness #lgbtbusiness #support #feature #dm #insta #instafamous #new #newbrand #1yearanniversary #wemadeit #popping #blackgirlmagic #transgirl #transgirlsofinstagram #transisbeautiful #cultivate #redlips #badbish (at Atlanta, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByCB_1PnUmA/?igshid=122dnmmoobcah
#girlslikeus#periodt#goodvibesonly#transattracted#transdating#lovewins🌈#_fishline#fishline#new#timeisnow#blackownedbusiness#lgbtbusiness#support#feature#dm#insta#instafamous#newbrand#1yearanniversary#wemadeit#popping#blackgirlmagic#transgirl#transgirlsofinstagram#transisbeautiful#cultivate#redlips#badbish
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SPACE COAST AREA !!!
Im coming to your area this weekend. show me some love why don’t ya
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Transamorous Pride Flag
Transamory: describing a relationship and/or attraction involving transgender individuals.
It's similar to the bicurious flag, however with trans* flag colors using a purple lowercase tau (Greek letter, τ) in the middle.
#transamour#transamourous#transamoury#transamor#tranamor#trannamorous#trannamory#transamorous#tranamory#tranamorous#transamory#mogai pride flags#flag edit#mod ap#transaffectivity#transafetividade#trans-attracted#transgender relationship#transattractional#tranattractional#trannattractional
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TransAttraction/Transorientation
Transattraction/Transorientation: an identity for those who feel they should have a certain orientation or be attracted to certain categories of individuals that they are not.
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No, Sexual Abuse Doesn’t Create Trans-Attracted People
Back in May I gushed about the Netflix Limited Series “Baby Reindeer”. My focus, obviously, wasn’t on the main plot, but the sub plot; that being the main character “Donny’s” trans-attraction. I gushed about it because I thought the entire series did a great job describing how shame and self-loathing can create a truly, sucky life.
Which is exactly what Donny lived.
While writing that series of posts, I received an interesting comment from a trans-attracted guy. The comment made a point I hadn’t considered. I hadn’t considered it because I don’t believe the point the writer made about trans attraction or about the show. So the point went right over my head.
I’m glad then, that the commenter made the point. It’s worth taking a closer look at it.
So let’s take a look at what he wrote, then unpack what he’s saying.
The comment
Reading between the lines of his comment, it’s clear the writer isn’t ashamed of his trans attraction. Not only that, it seems he’s out about it. That’s great. So here’s what he had to say. I’ve added some clarifications [in brackets] for reasons that will be obvious:
I was baffled at first that people kept asking me if I’d seen Baby Reindeer – I’ve never seen *any* must-see TV shows. Then I realised there was this cis-trans relationship subplot. People I know wanted to know how I felt about that because they know of my own orientation and dating experience… I thought [transgender actress] Nava Mau’s performance was fantastic and [her character] “Teri” was probably the only likable and relatable person in the show tbh. But I did feel that the show let her down in plot terms. No exposition at all for *why* the main character decided to go on a trans dating site. In an ideal world, sure, it would be unremarkable, but in the real world, it’s obviously not something everyone *just does*. And in that absence of explanation it felt uncomfortably like we were supposed to see it as some kind of sexual trauma response to his previous experiences as revealed in ep. 3. When, after their split, he hardly seemed to give her another thought, that seemed to reinforce that she was almost just a plot device to show him going through stages of trauma and self-questioning. Given that it’s based on a true story, of course, that may just be a reflection of this individual’s reality. And yes, that reality may reflect a wider reality of a lot of cis man/trans woman relationships. But I guess I’m just disappointed that the plotline in that regard always seems to be one of trauma, hangups, internalised shame, etc. That’s not at all my experience in my own relationship, and I’d like for once to see that portrayed! So as representation goes, yes, Teri was a triumph, but as a portrayal of a relationship between a trans woman and a trans-attracted man I felt it was a lot less positive.
Shallow thinking creates condemnation
I really like this guy’s perspective. And, he’s right. I believe a trend exists in the minds of people that trans attraction is a response to some unsavory past. Often, that past includes sexual “trauma”. And while that may be true for some, I don’t think that’s true for the majority of trans-attracted men.
The commenter, clearly, hasn’t had that experience. As well, most of the men I’ve worked with also don’t have sexual “trauma” they’re responding to. Many of them did experience an event which surfaced what may have previously been unconscious orientation behavior. But sexual abuse “trauma” doesn’t create trans attraction in people.
Take me, for example. I didn’t realize my trans-attraction until a girlfriend in Japan took me to a bar that featured trans go-go dancers. That doesn’t qualify as sexual trauma or abuse. But it did open my eyes to an aspect of who I was.
One could say the trope that trans-attracted men trans attracted because of past sexual abuse parallels the idea that trans women are just “men in a dress”. Like the latter, the former offers no introspection or analysis. Nor does it reveal any effort on the part of the speaker to understand trans attraction, nor the men (and women) who orient that way sexually. Such comments don’t point to a truth. They just represent shallow thinking on the part of the person expressing them.
Which is why they’re worthy of us ignoring them.
Another trope needing examination
Trans-attraction is just as valid as any other sexual orientation. For transgender people, it is an important orientation. That’s because such people represent perfect matches for trans people. And because of that, trans people can find love they desire.
I’ve written before about how every sock finds its shoe. The way the Universe works, no aspect of being goes unmatched. There always exists someone to match someone who wants to match with someone.
Now, some people do exist for which no match exists. Such people eventually discover they are happier without relationships. I’ve known women who, after dating men and women, for example, discover their best relationship is with themselves.
That’s a great realization to come to. But it often comes after trial and error. Because all of us are conditioned so strongly to have a relationship. Otherwise something is wrong with us. And that’s another expression that’s gone without much examination.
A lot more happiness would exist if people didn’t try fitting themselves into the box the peanut gallery prescribes. That goes for trans people, trans-attracted people and everyone else.
Stories DO create reality though
All that said, I did have a client who believed part of his experience in desiring trans women came from what HE considered to be sexual trauma involving a relative. After looking at what happened over several months, however, we discovered a couple things about that experience. One, such sexual experimentation between relatives is very common. It’s not sexual abuse. And two, his role in it was far less offensive than he was making it.
In other words, his stories about what happened shaped his judgments about what happened. They also shaped his self-judgement. A self-judgement so harsh he contemplated suicide many times.
These days, however, this client is becoming more and more free of his negative stories. As a result he’s finding himself more comfortable accepting who he is, what he likes, and what happened in the past.
And that’s the point of all of this. Our stories create our realities. That’s why it’s so important looking at the stories we have. Looking at them we change those that create experiences we don’t like. Every experience we don’t like comes as a result of beliefs we hold. That means any experience we don’t like we have the power to change.
I think Donny, the main character in Baby Reindeer showed us this. By changing his stories he came to embrace who he was. The result not only transformed his life, it also produced a sensational hit streaming show.
Read my series on that show here: Post one, post two, three and four.
#transgender#transamorous#mtf#transattracted#transgirl#transisbeautiful#transsexual#transamorous men#transattraction#transamorous network
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(Marsha's Plate: Black Trans Talk) We are having a conversation with Simaya Charlize-Theresa Turner and Tierre Turner . We talk about dating, vulnerability, Trans Attracted men and being grown and making love work one day at a time
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IMPORTIANT REMINDER
Polydins is ALL of the paladins in a relationship, not just Shiro Keith and Lance. Or Shiro keith and Hunk, you want to be that asshole that childcodes Pidge get out of this tag. Polydins is not an OT3 tag you nitwhits its a ship where all the paladind (including Allura) are in a polyromantic (proper definition derived from the term poligmy meaning more than one spouce; refers to a relationship between more than two people in a romantic and concentual manner.) Also fuck every fucking trans entitlest run piece of shitstain wiki that keeps getting that definition wrong because attraction regardless of gender identy is panromantic and attraction to persons who are trans is Transromantic you idiots. At least respect sexual bounderies you noobs.
#polydins#if you are a transattracted to transpersons you a transvestite transsexual did you health class teach you brats ANYTHING useful?
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friends to lovers is old we should start calling it transattraction ptr (platonic to romantic)
#i told ticket this joke and he laughed so im telling u guys#im transing my attraction#this is the t4t agenda#ticket#izzyisms
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In honor of our one year anniversary @_fishline presents THE FISHLINE: SPEED DATING FOR TRANS WOMEN! The perfect bait! In light of recent events, we at fishline want to give the fish something fun! We work hard to cultivate things for the community. I’m excited for you to make a connection! 😝 This is a safe place for you to be yourself. July 2019 ATL !!!!!! Look out for details. Gents don’t be shy ! GOOD VIBES ONLY! . . . . . The time is now ! #girlslikeus is simply the shit. #periodt . . . . . #datingdifferent #theperfectdate #men #transattracted #men #datenight #speeddating #newevent #_fishline #fishline #atl #atlanta #july2019 #safespace #love #lovewins🌈 #transdating #classyevent #goodvibesonly (at Atlanta, Georgia) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByB8Dkhn1ds/?igshid=1c4svaasrw8xn
#girlslikeus#periodt#datingdifferent#theperfectdate#men#transattracted#datenight#speeddating#newevent#_fishline#fishline#atl#atlanta#july2019#safespace#love#lovewins🌈#transdating#classyevent#goodvibesonly
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Transattracted/Transoriented Lesbian
Transattracted/Transoriented Lesbian: an identity for those who feel they should be a lesbian even though they are not.
#transx#transid#transorientation#transattraction#transattracted lesbian#transoriented lesbian#lesbian
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The Hidden Life Of Trans Attraction Revealed In Daring “Baby Reindeer”
Baby Reindeer is an amazing show. The Netflix Limited Series tells a true story of an aspiring comedian and trans-attracted Britisher who makes his way through his extreme (this is film making after all) self-loathing, which lives alongside an equally sensitive emotional state.
And while events that unfold in the series are intense and in some cases hard to watch (and well depicted) they ring accurate for me, both as a Transamorous person and as someone who assists trans-attracted men with casting off their self-loathing and embracing who and what they are.
In this post, I want to share experiences I’ve heard from my clients. I want to compare them to what happens in Baby Reindeer and celebrate this show as an awesome milestone, one many in the trans community have been hoping for for years.
Fiction based on truth
First, let’s get this on the record: Baby Reindeer is HIGHLY FICTIONALIZED. It’s also dark, gritty and intense. That said, I find it an extremely accurate portrayal of trans-attracted men. How can I claim that?
Because I’ve talked with many trans-attracted men. I’ve also assisted such men get over their self-hatred, accept themselves and find peace with what they are. I’m also transamorous myself.
Many of us share similar characteristics. Chief among those: either an intense self-hatred or shame. We also share extremely fine-tuned emotional sensitivity. I believe that’s because we are a blend of both male and female energies, just as many trans women are. Nearly all the men I’ve spoken to or work with try first making a relationship work with cis women. Those nearly always end in break ups or divorce, leaving the men lonely, alone and having to face head-on their trans attraction. Finally, at least some of the men at one time or another contemplated ending it all before they turned their self-hatred or shame into acceptance.
Donny, the main character in Baby Reindeer, experiences all of these characteristics. If you’ve seen the show, then, you know Donny hates himself in the extreme. But his emotional sensitivity equals his self-hatred. This explains why Donny ends up enabling Martha, the stalker. He can’t bear seeing her pain. So he reacts to her in welcoming ways. The resonance he feels mirrors Martha’s self-loathing. And hers mirrors his. In other words, they’re a perfect match.
Donny also fails at romance with his cis girlfriend although they remain close friends afterwards. Donny doesn’t try killing himself, but his sexual rampage after getting raped very much reflects suicidal sentiment. He acknowledges this in the series.
Donny’s story may be fictionalized, but parts of it ring true for many trans-attracted men.
^^Baby Reindeer is number one on Netflix. (From Nava Mau's instagram.)
Rings true for me too…
My experience mirrors some of this too. Though “hating myself” would have been an over exaggeration, I did find myself in fairly intense feelings of shame. But that shame didn’t keep me from acting out on my trans attraction, late at night in bars, through personal ads and dating sites and in random encounters.
Like Donny, I too am emotionally sensitive. These days I’d call it “intuitive”. It makes me great at what I do for clients. My feminine energy is quite pronounced too. When expressing myself to those with keen gaydar, I’m often mistaken as gay (instead of queer).
Can you see how that last part might cause trans-attracted men to double down on their shame? Trans-attracted men are not homosexual. But being mistaken as one can cause a guy to feel really confused…which is what happened to Donny by the way.
Relationships with cis gender women litter my history too. Not all were horrible. But all fizzled. Looking back it’s no wonder. Especially when contrasted with how it feels being with a trans woman.
Thankfully killing myself never entered the picture. Even back then, I knew I had more to do calling me. Nevertheless, it’s clear to me that my trans attraction created situations trying to get my attention. Thank goodness I listened. This blog would not exist without me having heard their call.
A supportive trans woman is gold
It’s clear then that many trans-attracted men find themselves wracked by shame. Shame plus fear create a potent cocktail. It will literally cause these men to hide in the shadows. And, since many trans women consider these men the bane of their existence, these men, like Donny, end up suffering alone.
What’s interesting: the moment Donny confesses to himself and others all he’s been hiding, that hidden life evaporates. His freedom becomes pronounced. Trans-attracted men don’t need trans women to support them. But it sure makes the coming out easier. Which is exactly what happened in Baby Reindeer when Teri showed up.
Donny meets Teri through a trans dating site. She’s the breath of sanity and fresh air in the entire series. Played extraordinarily well by trans woman Nava Mau, the character both supports and challenges Donny. In my opinion, her support goes to the extreme. I won’t spoil the story. You should watch it.
The point is, a lesson exists in the Teri character for trans women. Even though Donny doesn’t use Teri’s support to move through his shame, and eventually loses her, that needn’t be the outcome of every potential cis-trans relationship. Indeed, as I’ve written before, I know many long-term relationships between trans-attracted/transamorous men and their transgender lovers.
I encourage trans women that if they want a man, they might want to help a trans-attracted man overcome his shame. It’s not an easy task. Some men can move through the process easier than others. But ultimately, as with Teri, the choice is the trans woman’s. Not every girl’s up for that.
Revealing and soothing
Baby Reindeer offers so much illumination on the subject of trans attraction. I don’t think Richard Gadd, the show’s creator, intended it to be about trans attraction per se. The show mainly focuses on Donny’s downward spiral, which ultimately ends with upliftment, all at the hands of an intense, long-term stalking episode. Still, so many things about trans attraction get revealed in this show, I’d say it’s a must watch for anyone wanting to understand a not-well-understood phenomena happening around and within the transgender community.
More than that, watching the series can do two really powerful things. One, it can soothe the really strong aversion many trans women have about such men, through giving them a sense of emotional understanding for what these men go through. Two, it can help the men better understand and accept themselves. And all that happens in a show that is beautiful, clever, surprising and, yes, revealing.
Go watch it.
#transgender#transamorous#mtf#transattracted#transgirl#transisbeautiful#transsexual#transamorous men#transattraction#transamorous network#baby reindeer
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