#it’s not like we stopped talking 4 any particular reason other than we just stopped seeing each other every day.. do kind of miss her

[twinkskeletons]

how weird would it be to message my high school friend i haven’t spoken to since idk 2021 or something on tiktok bc i logged on for the first time in years and got recommended her account

[cursedcatchild]

Ok, so I watched TOTTMNT and I am here to rant. Also, SPOILERS ahead!

So First of all, if I had to sum up my thoughts into a single sentence it would be: For the love of God, put those turtles back together, where they belong!!

I didn’t hate the show, but I didn’t come to like it either. And no, I did not have any prejudgment just because it was a new iteration. Honestly I was super hyped for this version, because the movie was a blast. Yea, I ended up being disappointed. But let me just elaborate on that:

First let’s take a look at our turtles from worst to best in my opinion.

Mikey:

Yepp, ladies and gentlemen so far I have never seen a single iteration where I didn’t come to like a Mikey. He’s always among my favs. But this version felt super shallow. He had just as much screen time in the series as his brothers and yet I still have no idea who this guy really is. His jokes were lame not really landing, I couldn’t really point out any particular goal or insecurity that anyone could relate to. Also, the guy is super oblivious. Like he took ten minutes to realize he walked into a robbery when he went for groceries. Heck he was having a casual conversation with the robbers. 

Leo: 

Another kinda shallow guy. Sure we seen a bit of insecurity, he literally quoted Rise Leo saying “ I’m nothing without them!” but it felt irreal. Because Rise Leo had a reason to think that, he wasn’t as much of a functional member of the team and he was always taken for jokes. But right from the beginning of TOTTMNT we see Tales Leo commanding his brothers, they listen to him  and even say it multiple times how planning is Leo’s thing. So at this point this Leo is just fucking blind. ( Also April slaps instant self confidence into the boy.) 

Raph:

Ok, this is also the first time, but I never really took a liking to a Raph before Tales Raph. Boy is filled with anger and sass, yet he’s not coming off as a total jerk like 2012 Raph. And of course he's not a super softie like Rise Raph ( I don’t hate Rise Raph for being a softie, he's my second favorite Raph) either. He had some fun pipe up and overall a personality I got. I think he’s the most perfect Raph I have ever seen. 

Donnie:

The best character of the iteration in my humble opinion. He was relatable, funny, honestly he was stealing Mikey’s job as the comic relief, but at the same time he’s the smart guy. The boy is ranting about not being the IT guy and then goes reprogramming an evil robot. Oh and he saved so many lifes, because he stopped a fucking train crash. He’s epic, I swear.

(My fave screenshot ever 🤣🤣)

Now story wise:

🔥What the fuck was this dumpster fire?! 🔥Who thought splitting up the turtles would be fine?! 😑Especially in a 12 episode season? Look, I don't mind solo or duo time. There were plenty of good ones, for example Rise. I adored the Mikey vs Leo cook off episode or the Gumbus one, but for the sake of my sanity Rise had twice as many episodes and the turtles were not split up for the majority of the story.

Like I'm not joking when I say they were together in 4 episodes intotal.😨😨

Now I heard rumors left and right that the fact that they need to make a show was thrown at the team at the last minute ( IDK how true is that) , but goodness gracious even if I was presented with the task with a “ Due tomorrow label” I could still write a better story. Especially with the goldmine what the writers decided to ignore.

Yes, something that would've made TOTTMNT be really unique….. School people! We were promised that we will explore the turtles from the teenage side. Ummm….Hate to break it to ya all but I think there is no better way to do that than putting them into school.

It would’ve been fire to see them trying to fit in, balancing all the cool hero stuff with school life, maybe wrecking the school, seeing how other teenangers adjust to the fact that now giant talking turtles are their classmates. It wouldn’t be some crazy mind blowing plot, but I swear it would've been amazing.

Now don’t misunderstand me. Despite the story feeling like being all over the place it wasn’t that super bad, but I’m pissed that it could've been better with ease.

Also another thing that bugged me, is the feeling of something missing. IDK if anyone else who watched it felt like this, but I legit felt like if we just grabbed the for example farm arc from 2012 TMNT and aired it as season 1. The fact that the turtles were split and they kept mentioning that they have always been fighting together made me feel like I should’ve seen them do that.

Anyways, If I did not take your will to watch it away, go and check it out. It's not horrible but not great either. I’m disappointed and I'm gonna need Rise back, thank you very much!

[ivanttakethis]

WHAT R UR FAV ALNST THEORIES/ ANALYSES!?!?!!

GREAT QUESTION ANON!!!

These my favorite theories in no particular order, with some of my own personal theories mixed in.

Most of these are about Ivan, but he’s my favorite character so yeah lol.

Long post under the cut. Let’s go!!

1. IVAN IS ALIVE (yes, the capitalization is necessary)

I believe this one for a few reasons:

- We haven’t seen any official art about Ivan’s death (which is inch resting imo)

- At one point, there was a post/comment/rumor that Vivinos/QMENG (not sure which) said no one else was going to die after Sua (of course now I can’t find where I initially saw this, so take it with a grain of salt). This could’ve been said to mislead us or maybe they changed their minds later on, but I’m still holding onto this — assuming the statement was made/is true.

- Ivan didn’t get shot in the head. If they wanted to kill him to stop him from “hurting” Till, why waste bullets on shooting him several times in non-lethal places when they could’ve just sniped him one time in the head or neck and been done with it?

- Ivan’s owner Unsha is an alien underworld mobster who has a rivalry with Till’s owner Urak. I don’t think Unsha would take Till (and by extension Urak) “winning” Round 6 in the way he did lightly enough to let Ivan rest without a rematch. But maybe he’s not as petty as I would be idk.

- I’m delusional 🙂

2. Luka isn’t branded.

- This is one of my theories. I think Luka doesn’t have his name branded anywhere on him because he was grown in a lab.

- If the aliens are capable of growing humans, they probably also have the ability to “edit” or design them however they wish. They could’ve made Luka into the perfect Alien Stage contestant: beautiful, musically talented, charming, eternally youthful, but also cunning and cutthroat.

- I think they made him obedient on a fundamental level, more obedient than Ivan or Sua. It’s part of his DNA.

- He’s incapable of rebelling, so there’s no need to brand him. There’s no need for a reminder of who’s in charge because Luka wouldn’t step out of line in the first place.

3. Sua was turned into an android.

- Based on this official art that continues to haunt me.

- Also this post about Vivinos saying Sua will appear again “no matter what form she takes” makes me go hmm 🤔

- If Mizi and Hyuna get captured, I could see android Sua being brought in to break down Mizi as some sort of psychological torture method. (Wow, that got dark. Anyways…)

4. Ivan will appear in the 10th video in the series.

- I talked about my reasoning behind this theory here, but to summarize: the three numbers in this pic with Ivan could represent Round 3 and Round 6, which he appeared in both, and the 10 could represent him appearing in the 10th video in the series. This also ties into theory #1 on this list (IVAN IS ALIVE)

- This is one of my favorite theories because it gives me big “cork board and red string” conspiracy vibes lol

5. Ivan has a connection to the wagyeins.

- Based on the official art we have of Ivan being close with a wagyein as a child. I did a mini-analysis about their relationship in this post.

- Ivan also has some of similarities to the wagyein that we don’t see in any other humans (red pupils, sharp tooth, etc.)

6. Ivan was experimented on.

- Another one of my personal theories is that Ivan was experimented on, though not to the extent that Till was.

- This might explain why he was able to tank like three bullets without flinching much in Round 6.

- And also why his blood might be a different color, as mentioned in this post.

Finally, and perhaps most devastatingly:

7. Till did look at Ivan, he just didn’t notice.

- I think Ivan is an unreliable narrator who is deeply self-deprecating and always sees the worst in himself. And because both Round 3 and Round 6 focused heavily on Ivan’s perspective, we as the audience end up seeing the world how he saw it, rather than how it actually was.

- Ivan thinks that Till never noticed him, but I think he did. Just— not when Ivan was looking. There’s some art/screenshots to back this up too (his eyes being closed in some of these 😭).

Those are all my favorite theories as of now, but I’m sure there’ll be more in the future.

Thank you for the ask anon!

[glisten-inthedark]

I love how we're supposed to believe Danny and Steve were just bros in spite of the multitude of evidence to the contrary.

Your honor, the prosecution would like the present the following.

Evidence number 1

Steve looking like his puppy was pupnapped when he saw Rachel with Danny. Unless we're supposed to believe he was harboring intense feelings for a woman he saw twice, it doesn't explain why he'd look so heartbroken and betrayed.

Evidence number 2

Steve is the only one Danny allows to call him Danno besides Grace. We're talking about his child here, the light of his life and his entire universe and the other part of it that happens to be a Navy 🦭 with a complex.

After the third time he stopped bitching about Steve calling him Danno, and when was Danny ever known for shutting up when truly annoyed? That's right, never.

Evidence number 3

Danny gave up his chance ar a normal life for Steve. That man had his entire future offered to him on a silver platter, he spent all of the year complaining about being in Hawaii, being away from his child and about everything really.

But when he finally has the chance to leave he does what? Does he go to the airport and flies back to Jersey like one would assume he would? No! He stays.

He knows Rachel, he knows he might as well be closing that particular door for good, but he doesn't care. He chose Steve over his chance of happiness, over Rachel and hell, he doesn't even blink as he does it.

Evidence number 4

Is canon y'all. Danny doesn't usually threatens people with violence, by the time season 2 rolls around the only person we see him doing that for is Grace. Bare in mind Rachel was in the car when it was stollen, and yet he only threatened douchebag to not get near Grace.

Same can be said about anyone else who has ever been in danger, but Matt I'm pretty sure (don't mind me, I'm rewatching it and I just finished season 1 so it'll be a while before I catch up to that minefield). So he threatens someone because of his daughter which he's said over and over it's his life, over Matt that is his fucking brother and that he loves and sees as the reason he made it through the divorce and... *checks notes* Steve.

Am I sensing a pattern here, Jedi?

And bare in mind he didn't just threatens anyone but a fucking CIA agent. I mean how crazy does one have to be do to that? I'd say very.

Evidence number 5

He follows Steve anywhere. Danny is deeply afraid of leaving Grace without a father, and yet he couldn't not go after Steve in North Korea and then Afghanistan.

Both are very dangerous countries for foreigners, both places he very much was in danger of not coming back from, but he still went.

He didn't have to, he could've left Joe handle it, he could've kept himself safe and not be in any danger but he still went. He went even though he knew he could die, that the odds of that happening were high, but he didn't care.

Evidence number 6

Landing the plane on the beach instead of doing it in the water. Danny knew that doing so could get him killed, would most likely get him killed but at that point he didn't care.

We see Danny once again choosing Steve over anything and anyone else. Choosing to die instead of living without him.

At that point I could argue that he chose him over his own children. Charlie was still a child, Grace still needed a father, but losing Steve would kill him just as much as losing one of his children so he doesn't have a choice.

If he Steve dies there will be only wreckage, so following right behind its the only thing he can do. It's a thousand times better than the alternative.

Evidence number 7

Steve being willing to lie to the FBI for Danny, than to follow Danny and helping with the whole Matt situation.

Evidence number 8

Steve helping Danny with Grace and getting Rachel to drop the visitation bullshit. And then helping in the hearing and even dressing in his blues for it.

Steve showing time and again Danny wasn't alone, that he had him on his corner now for better or for worse.

Evidence number 9

Steve looking like he was sucker punched when he heard Danny begging Rachel to take him back in that freaking voicemail and looking torn when he saw they reuniting later on. Why would anyone look like that to their very platonic, not very love of their life's partner?! I blame Alex for everything

I will continue as I rewatch because I forgot most of everything but for now, I rest my case.

[samsalami66]

Catching Up With The Past

Look at this, another part for the soccer au!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4

“Boys? Could I have a word with you?” 

The two heads of the men present turned towards Gilbert as he stuck his head into the locker rooms, pausing their conversation to listen to him.

“‘Course, what do you need, coach?” The shorter of them answered then, gesturing for him to come in and sit with them. He did so, grateful for the chance to rest his bad knee. Curiosity shone in the men’s eyes as they waited for him to state his business, their expressions open and unafraid. 

“I have received a request for a transfer to our team. And I wish to discuss it with you both first, before I make any kind of decision.”

“Just us? Why not the whole team?” A frown creased the face of the taller man, confusion clear in his gaze. He had always been a perceptive one, and Gilbert couldn’t help but smile at him. 

“Because this matter concerns you two in ways it does not concern the others.” Confusion only seemed to grow between them at his words. “The transfer request comes from Morpheus Ateleios. Given your… history with him, I ought to first ask you for your opinion on this.”

The men blinked at him for a long moment, too stunned to formulate a response. 

The shorter man caught himself first and began to pace the room as he answered, his hands gesturing wildly, as they so often did when he was either nervous or excited. 

“Morpheus Ateleios asked to be transferred to our team? Offence player for the Riggers. The guy I gave a black eye last season.” Gilbert nodded, having had similar thoughts when he had woken up to this particular email. “But why? He hates our guts.”

“I truly don’t know, son. It came as a surprise to me as well, after all there had been no talk about a planned transfer. All I can say is that he wrote to me the very day after Roderick’s sudden death.”

“Sounds to me like he’s running.” The other man finally spoke up, his face one of mixed emotion. Anger, fear, tentative hope, all so easily read from his set jaw and the light brightening in his eyes. 

“Those were my thoughts as well. And you know I am not one inclined to turn away those who are in search of shelter. That being said, my responsibility lies with you boys, first and foremost. So, what do you think?”

The smaller man was the first to speak up, his pacing coming to an end right in the middle of the room. 

“There has to be a reason why he wants to be transferred to our team, of all the teams out there. I say we do it.”

Gilbert nodded, having expected this sort of answer from his player. “You will make sure to keep your affections in check, I assume?”

A blush spread over his face and to the tip of his ears, but he inclined his head in agreement nonetheless. “Yes, of course. You have my word on that.”

“Very well. What about you, son?” 

The other man sighed, but eventually nodded as well. “Fine. But I can’t promise he will be happy to see me.”

“Well, good thing then we will only have to worry about that when you’re back at the end of next season, right?”

- - - 

Hob seemed to be nervous today. 

He was pacing, up and down the living room, gesturing even more animatedly than usual while telling Morpheus about the ending of the movie they had watched the evening before, which he might have missed by matter of falling asleep halfway through. 

For a few minutes, Morpheus simply observed his friend, trying and failing to figure out what the reason for his nervousness could be. But there was nothing unusual about today or even next week, only Drink Night and training and another match at the end of the week. Nothing that would usually cause him to worry. 

“Hob?” he called out, a hint of the confusion he was feeling making its way into his voice. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

His friend immediately stopped in his tracks, hands falling uselessly to his sides. 

“I was pacing again, wasn’t I?” he sighed. 

“You were,” Morpheus stepped closer to Hob and let his head fall on his shoulder, knowing that touch was one of the things that brought Hob the most comfort in these moments. Almost instantly his friend started to deflate, one of his hands coming up to run through Morpheus’ hair, and he allowed it for a few minutes without saying a word, hoping that Hob would begin talking of his own accord. When it became clear that he wouldn’t do so, Morpheus turned his head to look at him, the angle giving him a clear view of Hob’s profile. 

“What’s wrong, Kollitós? If you tell me, we can find a way to fix it.” 

He was mirroring Hob’s words from a few months ago, and from the small huff that left his lips it didn’t go unnoticed.

“‘Kollitós’? That’s a new one. What does it mean?” Hob deflected, which was rather unusual for him. Morpheus pretended he didn’t notice and placed a hand on Hob’s chest, right over his heart. 

“Best Friend,” It was a simple answer, a word Morpheus had been thinking about for a long time now. There had never been someone like Hob in his life, someone he trusted so completely and who brought out the best in him. He was, on all accounts, the best friend Morpheus had ever had. But, perhaps, it was not a notion the two of them shared. After all, Hob was a much more sociable person, he had plenty of friends, many of whom he had known for the better part of his life, much longer than he knew Morpheus. “You don’t have to… to feel the same way about me, of course. But I wished for you to know.”

Morpheus did not quite manage to finish his sentence before he was pulled into a crushing hug, Hob’s arms squeezing his ribs so hard he struggled to breathe, but he couldn’t help the chuckle escaping him at his friend’s enthusiasm. 

“What do you mean, I do not have to feel the same? Are you crazy, of course I do!” A kiss was pressed to Morpheus’ cheek, and he felt the spot growing warm under Hob’s gaze. 

“I am glad, then,” He whispered in response, and cuddled up closer to his friend. “I guess you don’t want to talk about what’s stressing you out?”

Hob placed another kiss on his cheek before letting him go, an apologetic smile on his lips. “I’m sorry, lovey. Trust me that it’s nothing bad?”

Another sigh, but Morpheus nodded. “Alright. You know I trust you.” 

- - - 

Two hours and three glasses of wine later, Morpheus sat in the midst of his team, laughing over a story Matthew told, when the door to The New Inn opened behind him. Usually he would have barely noticed, after all guests came and went like clockwork at a place like this, but the way all heads at the table suddenly turned towards the door meant this wasn’t just another guest. But who could possibly cause them all to perch up like this, to smile and cheer and wave like they had never been happier to see someone?

“Olethros?” Morpheus whispered as he turned around, the name of his baby brother feeling so foreign and yet so familiar on his tongue. 

“Hello, Oneiros.”

It had been years since he last heard that nickname, a decade at least. 

The last time Morpheus had heard it was on the day of Delilah's funeral. It had also been the day Olethros ran from their home, after their parents had tried to pretend her death had been of natural causes, an accident, a simple fall down the stairs where she had broken her neck instead of the real tragedy it had been. 

The last time Morpheus had heard that nickname, his brother had been in shambles, looking more like a haunted man than the child he had still been. He had been too skinny, much like Morpheus himself had been, struggling to eat and sleep and live with the knowledge their sister had taken her own life. 

But Olethros had blamed himself for her death, for he had believed that he had been supposed to protect her and that he had failed. 

It had destroyed him. 

Now, there was a smile on his brother’s face, and a child in his arms. A little girl, no older than a year, with a shock of red hair and a smile that rivalled that of her father’s. Because there was no doubt about it, this ray of sunshine could hardly be anyone else’s. And Olethros looked… good. Happy. Settled. All the things he never had back home, especially during those past weeks, and also never had when they had seen each other on the pitch. Or perhaps he had, and Morpheus had simply been so blinded by anger and judgement and fear that he hadn’t seen. 

He couldn’t remember why he had ever ignored his brother on the field, now, why he hadn’t tried to reconcile, to find out how he had fared. 

So much lost time. So many lost chances. 

But what if his brother was angry with him for all those years he had pretended that he did not care for his presence? What if he took offence to Morpheus joining his team, saw it as betrayal for someone of the family he left behind to infiltrate his new life? 

What if he didn’t want to have Morpheus here? Would they make him leave? Would they favour their long-time friend and teammate over him, if Olethros wished for it? 

“I… I thought you left the team. You hadn’t played in- in months, I- I-,” Morpheus knew that he was beginning to breathe too quickly, that his thoughts were spiralling, the tell-tale signs of a meltdown dancing just at the edge of his vision. He had never asked about his brother, not once since joining the team. He was an awful older brother, caring so little for his own family, for the person who had introduced him to the sport which had since taken over his life.

God, he still remembered afternoons spent on the clearing behind the estate, a goal marked by stones and a ball stolen from their neighbours the only equipment they had. They would train for hours, sometimes deep into the night, every minute spent laughing with a carefreeness they had never felt at home. 

But then, Olethros had simply… gone. No goodbye, not even a note or letter. 

The first time he had seen him again was in his first year playing for Fawney Rig, where his brother had parried every single one of his shots on the Fiddlers goal. 

In all the years afterward, in all the games they played against each other, they had not exchanged a single word. 

And now, there was just one thing Morpheus wanted to say to his brother, something he should have said years ago but hadn’t out of stubbornness and unfounded anger. 

“I missed you, little brother.” His words caught on a sob as he stood and threw himself into Olethros’ arms, caring not for his tears, but only that his brother knew. And Olethros hugged him back with his free arm, holding him close in a way that sent Morpheus right back to his childhood, to nights huddled together in a blanket fort when their parents had been fighting. His little brother shouldn’t have had to take care of them all, protect them each time their parents’ fury had turned against them, but he always had, until that fateful day. 

Morpheus understood now that his brother had done the right thing, to leave and protect himself for once in his life and find people who would help him. 

“And I you, Oneiros,” Hearing the words spoken aloud lifted a weight from Morpheus’ shoulders that he hadn’t known he’d been carrying, the relief of it forcing more tears down his cheeks. “And I’m sorry, my brother.”

Morpheus had to blink at the words for a moment, not sure what they were supposed to mean. 

“What for?”

His brother sighed and took a step back from him so they could make eye-contact, his free hand moving from his back to his shoulder, squeezing once. 

“I am sorry for not noticing sooner that you needed help.”

For a moment, everything stood still. 

Olethros knew about Roderick. But he hadn’t been with the team for months, certainly not since Morpheus had joined them, and there were few people even here who he had told all of it. 

Actually, there was just one. 

And suddenly, a lot of things came into perspective. 

“One moment,” he said to his brother before turning around to Hob, who was currently hiding behind Cori and peeking slightly over his shoulder. “That was why you were so nervous today? Because you were… conspiring to reconnect me with my brother?” 

His best friend winced at that, as if the very idea of conspiring against him in any way physically hurt him, and Morpheus was almost inclined to believe that was the case with how much time Hob had spent pacing his living room this evening. At least it had been quite painful to watch. 

“It was rather intended as a risky surprise, I’d say! After all I knew from Olly how close the two of you have been back then and how much he wanted to finally reconcile with you and when I figured out why you have been ignoring him for all those years I couldn’t have simply not told him and I guess I just… I just wanted you two to get along again. I’m sorry, Dream.” Hob deflated a little after his nervous rant, the expression on his face so genuinely troubled Morpheus just wanted to pull him into a hug. 

“You are an idiot, Kollitós.” he answered instead, his voice soft, and Hob immediately perked up upon hearing the nickname, a smile spreading over his lips. 

“Your idiot?”

Morpheus hummed in agreement and turned back around to his brother, who looked amused at their banter, the smile on his lips matching Hob’s. 

“Hobert told me that the two of you have grown close, but I’ll admit that it’s slightly perplexing to witness myself.” 

Morpheus tried and failed to keep from snorting at the ridiculousness of Hobert, somehow an even worse nickname than Hob was on its own, but nothing could have prepared him for Cori’s answering whine behind him. 

“Be glad you missed these past months, Lily, they’re absolutely disgusting together.”

Lily. Morpheus couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him, completely unhindered, at the sheer stupidity of his friends. How in the world they kept coming up with these names was beyond him. 

Though, perhaps, at least Dream made a little more sense if Olethros had continued calling him Oneiros over the years. Lily, on the other hand, was just a ridiculous nickname for his brother. After all, Olethros had never been particularly feminine. 

Not like him. 

And while Morpheus’ thoughts were on femininity, he realised that he had completely forgotten to address the metaphorical elephant in the room. 

“What’s her name?”

Olethros raised an eyebrow in question at the sudden change of topic, and Morpheus couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Surely it was quite obvious who he was talking about.

“My niece, brother. What is her name?”

A hand reached for his from behind him then, warm and familiar, with callouses and scars he could tell by heart. Morpheus was not quite sure why Hob felt the need to do so now, but he would never refuse one of his friend’s offers of comfort. 

“We call her Lily, too,” Olethros began, and his voice wavered slightly. “But her name is Delilah.” Suddenly, Hob’s hand in his made a lot of sense, and Morpheus was immensely thankful for it.  “We wanted to keep her memory alive, even if our parents tried their hardest to achieve the opposite. Del deserves to be remembered.”

Morpheus nodded as tears gathered in his eyes, the emotions of having a piece of his baby sister again after all those years, even if it was just an old name on a new person, threatening to overwhelm him. But there was Hob’s hand in his, grounding him,  and there were years of grief and months of therapy behind him, reminding him that those emotions did not have to overtake him. 

And so he took a deep breath, allowed the waves of grief tearing at his heart to lap at him for a moment, but then let them go again, just like the sea let go of the beach after a moments’ embrace. 

Then he smiled up at his brother, letting go of Hob’s hand, and held out his arm towards little Lily. 

“Come on, let me hold my niece. And sit down, I’m sure we can squeeze you in next to John…”

[valle-de-sombra-de-muerte]

Homestuck Reread: Act 4, Part 1/4 (p. 1358-1522)

Read the previous post here.

After a brief diversion with the Midnight Crew and Felt, it's time to go back to the story proper.

Oh fucking yuck it's that other walkaround flash that uses the story sprites. This one has jank ass combat mechanics in addition to having the same clunky controls as the one in Act 2. Just like that one, this one is also a waste of time. There's no point traversing this and its big ass map.

Wait, is this a Shoop da Whoop reference? God I feel old.

And finally we see Jade's "patron black celebrity": Charles Dutton. Look, I have no clue what Hussie means by any of this. It's just a pattern that I've noticed and nobody else has talked about it before.

Unlike the other kids, Jade always has a somewhat repulsed look on her face whenever she sees her black celebrity. I think she might just be racist, which would explain why she's so xenophobic toward the trolls.

Okay, okay, I'm just joking. Look, Jade is in desperate need of some character traits. At this point, even a negative one would be preferable to nothing at all. Anything to give her modicum of depth.

I wonder what kinds of conversations Vriska or Gamzee would have with Jade. These are things we will never know!

Vriska in particular should've had some meaningful interactions with Jade considering she's the one responsible for her narcolepsy. I'm dumbfounded we never got to see her act more outwardly malicious and cruel toward Jade, or even take a more active role in fucking with her beyond simply putting her to sleep. Vriska isn't exactly known for her subtlety, after all. If she really wanted to put her name on the kids' session and be responsible for all the key events in it, she should've went whole hog.

Perhaps if Hussie had actually planned all this out from the onset, we could've gotten something with more payoff. Recall my earlier post when I said Jade had the makings of a twist villain in these early stages of the story? I'd like to alter and expand upon that with this scenario that I would've implemented in Hussie's place.

Picture this: what if the reason Jade is such a shallow character is due to no fault of her own? What if Vriska had been the one manipulating this human like a meat puppet as her means to infiltrate the kids' session? Pushing the kids to play Sburb in the first place? Her reluctance to give away useful information? All of her intents and motives being masked with overbearing cheerfulness? The fact that she needs "reminders" to keep track of her litany of superficial interests? All Vriska, baby. She has hijacked this kid's brain and is using her as a vehicle to drive the plot forward.

This is back from Act 3, but let's look at how Jade initially reacts to each of her friends and then filter this through Vriska's perspective. John's utter incompetence and Dave's crush on Jade would make them useful idiots in Vriska's scheme. So naturally she reacts positively to both of them.

But she perceives Rose with a single, terse sentence. Rose is the only one who is actively curious about Jade's knowledge of things she shouldn't reasonably know about. This makes her a threat. Vriska would have to put a lot of distance between them in order to keep Rose from uncovering the truth.

And then there are the other trolls. Unbeknownst to them, their efforts to stop Jade would've actually been an internal struggle against one of their own. Vriska would shut them out entirely, not wanting to risk getting them involved with this. All the while, the "real" Jade never gets a chance to express herself because she has been constantly suppressed by an outside agent. Her shallowness would be by design, rather than a consequence of poor writing.

... But I think I'm getting carried away with this tangent. At this point I'm talking about an entirely different comic when this is supposed to be focused on Homestuck. Let's just move on.

So Jade knew about Sburb the whole time, okay. I don't know why it was presented like she didn't at first, but fine whatever. She still continues to be smarmy and coy while John continues to have rocks for brains. Every conversation between these two gives me new insights to the amount of bullshit I'm willing to endure to finish this comic.

I love this line from Dave. Can I get a so true oomfie?

Jade fumbles the SBaHJ reference when someone like Rose could probably recite the entirety of SBaHJ verbatim. In fact, if Rose had fudged up a quote like that, Dave would've shown her no mercy. He holds Jade's hand through it, though, because he's a dumb teenage boy thinking with his dick.

"i got served like a dude on butler island" is a great line. Also, Jade is dismissing Dave getting beat up by Bro as "drama" which, if we're meant to take Dave's domestic situation as legitimate abuse and not a joke, is pretty fucked up.

Dave repeating the whole meteor bit is shut down swiftly because Jade is incapable of keeping up with his patter. Not that I wanted the joke to be repeated anyway, but it's a telling example of how their dynamic works.

Even though Jade and John pesterlogs might be the worst combination out there, Jade and Dave conversations are also pretty damn bad. Dave is normally an entertaining character, but he's squandered in these instances. Jade offers no fun chemistry with him in the same way Rose, or even John sometimes, does. Instead of bouncing his jokes and sarcasm back at him, her obliviousness and naivete causes them to fall flat. She's less a springboard and more of a foam mattress (or smuppet ass, to use a more appropriate metaphor).

And since Dave has a crush on her and wants to appease, he rolls with it and moves along to the next subject without comment. It's like a painfully embarrassing comedy routine where one partner is letting the other flounder on stage.

The trolls act as if certain behaviors like laughing and sarcasm are exclusive to humans, despite us later seeing that such things are normal in their society. It's such a silly bit and I do like it a lot.

Karkat's trolling scheme really is the dumbest plan ever. Also some unfortunate foreshadowing for when he does eventually make shitty diagrams later on.

We needed more moments with the Exiles hanging out and getting to know each other, instead of being pawns to fulfill stupid plot contrivances. It'd make this side-plot infinitely more enjoyable to read.

Note how it's nighttime here when the previous panels with the Exiles were all during the day. This means they must have spent several off-screen hours together by this point. What were they talking about to reach a point where they're all chill with each other? Eh, Hussie deems it unimportant, so we move on!

This is actually a funny moment where Dave allows himself to be a bit of a jerk. I guess even his patience with Jade is wearing thin at this point.

Oh? Rose sounds a little jealous it seems. Dave and Jade get to have a relatively stress-free time playing server and client together. But Rose didn't get to have any of that quality time with Dave because he didn't install his disc until it reached a point where they had only seconds to save her life.

I'm once again thinking about how nice it would've been if Dave had connected to Rose earlier and we could've gotten a lot of banter between them as they navigated the game. Instead we get a lot of toothless slop with Dave and Jade. We were robbed.

Oh shit and Dave snipes right back. He has been getting ignored a lot by both Rose and John, so it's easy to see why he's frustrated. He's mad that Rose isn't putting him as her first priority? God, get a room already.

The last time we saw a conversation between John and Dave was 1,108 pages ago, back in Act 2. John has been ignoring Dave's messages since then. I don't buy the friendship these two supposedly share. If anything, it's extremely one-sided on Dave's end.

This series of pages where PM takes control of the console shows us all the key stuff from the walkaround. This makes it even more unnecessary to actually play it.

This love triangle between the Exiles gets no further attention beyond this moment. Personally I'd have solved it by making all three of them form a polycule, but unfortunately I'm not the one writing this story.

You know, I never gave it much thought before, but why is Grandpa Harley suddenly alive? He doesn't have a dreamself or anything. Nobody revived his corpse. He's just inexplicably wandering the Medium now. If this is ever explained later, I don't remember it.

I know this isn't Mom Lalonde saying this but man... I think it would've had more of an impact if she did say it. Rose never gets to see her mother again, so all she's really left with is this sobering moment of insight that, wherever it is Mom sailed off to, she's doing it for her benefit. That perhaps she's not the cold-hearted, drunken shrew Rose thought she was for her whole life and instead, was just a heavily troubled woman trying her best to be a parent. You never truly know the kind of people your parents are until it's too late, I guess.

None of the kids ever get any closure with their guardians and that's a shame. We never get to view things from their perspectives and they're just glorified NPCs. Bro in particular definitely needed some insight into his inscrutable mind, but Mom also continues to fascinate me. This woman is so full of mystique and contradictions, yet all we ever see of her is fragmented shots from Rose's (heavily biased) point of view.

I wonder what exactly Mom thinks is "best for her child," though. Helping her win the game, surely. She had to have been planning for this moment for most of her life, having known about the countdown in the lab. I wonder if she knew the full extent of what Sburb was going to do, where to go once she got there, and how to help the kids win the game.

Anyway, this panel is definitely a top 10 Rose moment. Or perhaps a top 10 general Homestuck moment, since it has to do with both Rose and Mom. I should be keeping track every time I say this line.

It's very cute how AR contributes to WV's model city. "Begrudgingly" oh come on dude, we all know you're loving this.

These imps must be weak as shit if they're getting bodied by a teenage girl with a pair of blunt knitting needles.

These are some awkward steps transitioning back into the main story, but I remember liking Act 4 the most out of these early Acts. It always stuck out in my mind as what "peak Homestuck" really is, so I can only hope things will get better as we move along. I will say that if we're devoting as much time to Dave and Jade fucking around with the Sburb mechanics as we did with John and Rose, we're in trouble.

Read the next post here.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

the cockles masterlist, part 6

now split in SIX parts for link limit reasons

WARNING: this post glitches and crashes on mobile. it’s recommended you view this on your desktop, or at least on your mobile browser rather than the app. if my desktop theme is hard on your eyes, try an extension such as Just Read or Reader View to customize the layout and colors.

if you’re still having trouble viewing, or if you don’t want to have to switch between the five posts, here’s all of the links compiled into a google doc.

welcome to the cockles masterpost, a labor of love/insomniac hyperfixation.

i recently wrote this cockles manifesto, but after it got a lot of notes and i kept adding more links to it, i decided i should just go through my 8 years of archives and compile all the cockles posts in a much more accessible and navigable way. after everything with the series finale and destielgate, i figured we could use some happiness, and it turns out there are a lot of people who’ve never heard the cockles gospel.

important disclaimer: yes, i do think that jensen and misha have a private romantic/sexual relationship, but no i do not, in any way, think that they have ever cheated on their wives. we think they are polyamorous, which is a real and valid thing, and misha is openly poly. some people love more than one person, and that’s okay. their families are close and we love and support all of them.

second important disclaimer: despite the amount of innuendo below, this is not about fantasizing about two hot guys fucking. cockles is about the joy of witnessing two people who love each other and make each other happy and are disgustingly cute together. we’re not fetishizing, we’re just appreciating what they publicly share with us.

third important disclaimer: because some of y’all don’t know, the cardinal rule of cockles is that we don’t talk to cockles about cockles. DO NOT leave any comments on their social media accounts implying anything. not even green and blue hearts. they know that we know, but it’s on us not to make it weird. if we’re too obvious and say too much, they might start sharing less. don’t say anything.

for the sake of my sanity, these are in no particular order.

last updated: 3/8/23

🐚 denotes new content

part 1 (That’s Suspicious, mishananigans)

part 2 (#pray4jensen, gag reel hijinks, some posts i’ve written about cockles and rps)

part 3 (know your cockles history, the intimacy)

part 4 (the glory of jibcon)

part 5 (just for cute)

the glory of jibcon continued:

jib11 opening ceremony whispers and giggles

jensen turning his back as misha walks up to hug him | more gifs | video

"just swallow it" "he's always giving that advice" | video

"[danneel] does refer to misha as her boyfriend. which is funny, because so do i." | more gifs | video | fan discussion of this moment

misha sitting on the floor to watch jensen sing, jensen getting shy

jensen serenading misha with "angeles" | video angle 1 | video angle 2 | video of jensen looking at misha, getting flustered, and stopping suddenly | more gifs | photo | misha sitting on the floor watching | another misha photo | the significance of ‘angeles’

"i think you look nice and dapper" ... "then [jensen] went in for a kiss and i was like, whoa!" "hey, when in rome!"

the destiel song they improvised together | video | gifs minus lyrics

big dad angry machine

"i've been haunted by those bear underwear for some time"

jensen "woo!"ing when misha mentions gotham knights

jensen's face going soft when he looks from jared to misha | video

after misha says a unicorn toy is vibrating "for her pleasure", jensen pretends to sit on it | gif

misha moves his chair further away, jensen scoots his closer | video | “what are we doing? am i coming over?”

jensen spinning the wheel then staring at misha for ten seconds straight | video | photos

jensen tells everyone to stop cheering for misha to sing after misha makes it clear he doesn't want to | gifs + bonus “there goes jared with his job security” 👀

jensen winking at misha

jensen saying he's going to plan a big birthday party for misha's 50th, which is more than a year away | video

"you're my canary" | video

whispers and laughing (feat. misha's missing tooth) | photos

"i love those dishes" "you love those bitches??"

misha hyping jensen's new album | video

"my caretaker tells me i had a very nice birthday."

jensen staring at misha’s ass when he bends over

"this is our song"

roasting jared for bragging sam is tougher than dean | gifs

jensen staring at misha before making a birthday wish

riffing on “the european version of spn”: one, two, three, four

chatting about taking their families to amusement parks, jensen refers to misha as ‘daddy’

jensen’s nickname kink in full swing at jib11

12 years of jibcon secrets

head-leaning selfie with briana buckmaster | edit

2023 jibcon11 tag



just for cute (continued):

adorable photo ops: 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92   93 94

2012 spn wrap party photo

300th episode red carpet flirting

"misha decided jensen was the gift" photo op

hand measuring photo op

[tgmsunmontue]

Online & Anonymous 4/16

Hangster. Explicit. Years before they meet in person Bradley and Jake strike up a friends-with-benefits relationship online. And then something more like an actual relationship.

Odd year = Bradley's POV and Even year = Jake's POV

>>Bradley chatting (bold and italics)

>>Jake chatting (italics)

2005/2006 2007 2008

2009 – Bradley

>>Have you heard of Grindr?

>>Why do we need Grindr, we have this…

>>Ha. So you have heard of it!

>>You can use Grindr to pick up outside of this messaging app. I think I’m going to sign up.

>>Also you can send and receive pictures, if you’ve got a good enough phone with a camera.

>>You want to see photos of me?

>>I wouldn’t be averse to seeing some.

>>Would you send me photos of yourself?

>>That would sort of be the point.

                He’s never going to push, and also, the only phone capable is expensive, but god he really does want to see a picture or two of Jas. His imagination is fine, but he’s intensely curious about whether Jas lives up to his imagination. Not that he’s settled on any one image, they haven’t exchanged specifics, other than length and cut/uncut status. They’ve been talking long enough for Bradley to have picked up enough other clues. The way Jas talks, is from Texas and in the military, he’d bet that he was white, but sometimes he imagines darker skin under his fingers when they chat.

>>Do you have a type?

>>Yes and no.

>>That’s a cop out.

>>It’s also the truth.

>>My type is male.

>>I’m not that much older than you.

>>I’m still figuring things out as well.

>>So what have you figured out so far? What do you know you like?

>>A little bit of stubble, but not beards.

>>Muscular arms and thighs.

>>Close to me in height.

>>And confidence. The guys I’ve been with, where it’s been good? Like really good? They’ve been… sure of themselves. Their confidence was justified nine times out of ten.

>>Yeah? I’m going to take that as life advice right there.

>>You do that. Haven’t led you astray yet have I?

…            …            …

                Grindr is different. It feels more risky, with putting photos out there, and having the location enabled. He leaves his face out of the images, matches with guys who do similar, mutually assured discretion and also deniability. While it might feel riskier, it is also so much easier to hook up. As time passes more guys download the app and the number of matches goes up. With all the dick pics he’s sent, he has seen more dick in the last few months than he has in the entire six years prior.

                Sometimes the hookups are mediocre, rarely complete busts, but on the whole it works for him when he’s on leave. He occasionally looks when he’s not on leave, but he reinstalls the app and then deletes it in moments he knows are safe. He doesn’t trust the people around him to respect his privacy and not poke around, despite having a passcode on his phone. He still uses his laptop to chat with Jas through the website, and he realizes they could email each other and send photos that way. He could just get a free email account.

>>So. I bought myself a new phone.

                Bradley reads the message, lets his breath out slowly, licks his lips and feels his entire body prickle with anticipation. This feels like a next step. And it comes just as he was about to suggest they exchange email addresses.

>>Yeah?

>>Any particular reason?

>>You know why.

>>Stop playing dumb.

>>Could have saved the money. Just had a thought that we could email each other.

>>How safe is that?

>>Anyway. I made an account. You want my user name?

>>Is it not 00JASTYX?

>>No. It’s not.

>>That would have been easier.

>>Are you going to tell me?

>>Nope. Think I might make you work for it?

                Bradley laughs, shaking his head.

>>Contrary bastard.

>>You don’t think I’ve already earnt it?

>>Just thought you might like the thrill of the chase.

>>You can’t see me but I’m rolling my eyes.

>>Am I not worth chasing?

>>Kind of feel like I already caught you.

>>Exactly. So now you have to find me. I’ve tried to make it worthwhile.

                Bradley’s mouth goes dry.

>>Really now?

>>Yep.

>>Challenge accepted.

…            …            …

                He can’t spend every moment trawling through Grindr profiles. That way lies many things, including a potential dishonorable discharge if anyone sees him. He doesn’t stop to pay much attention to the photos, instead paying attention to the brief words. He knows how old Jas is and where he’s from and that he’s in the military. So he turns off the location, because he could be anywhere in the world for a start. There are hundreds, if not thousands. A needle in a haystack comes to mind and he knows why the location aspect is so important. He’ll persevere though.

                Early 30s. Nope.

                New York native. Nope.

                Student. Nope.

                Late 20s. Nope.

                Athlete. Nope.

                Fit. Well yes, he’d have to be, but he’s also Canadian. Nope.

                Mid-20s. Southern boy. 6’1”. Good with words, better with my hands. Maybe?

                He looks to the username then and it’s TJASX and he laughs. This has to be him and he looks at the first photo. Bradley stares. If this is Jas, he’s gorgeous. Or at least his body is. He’s known Jas is military for over two years, and hell, he might not be anymore. Although he suspects he is, body like that posing in the photos, face carefully cropped out to just show the hinge of jaw or column of his neck. His dog tags are even visible in one photo. He should tell him to remove that photo, because that photo feels like confirmation that this is definitely him. Bradley doesn’t know whether to admit that he’s also military, that’s safe enough surely.

>>Just as gorgeous as I thought you’d be.

>>Those photos actually of you?

>>Of course. Why would I use someone else’s photos?

>>Because people lie on the internet.

>>Are those photos yours?

>>Yep.

>>You’re hot.

>>So are you.

>>Glad you think so.

>>I’m serious, I was a scrawny kid. Had to bulk up but I’m always a little self-conscious.

>>Well you’re gorgeous.

>>Nothing to be ashamed of.

>>Want to lick you all over.

>>One thing though, you need to take your dog tags off if you’re going to be posting photos.

                He pauses, thinks about what he’s going to type next.

>>I took off mine.

                He sucks in a breath and closes the app, terrified but no idea why. He knows Jas won’t care, but it still feels like he’s exposing himself, baring himself to attention that he has avoided for the last few years. He taps the phone against his forehead, breath coming a little short and he opens it again.

>>Holy shit.

>>Nick?

>>Yeah. Hi.

>>You’re military as well?

>>Seriously?

>>Yep. DADT and all that.

>>Holy shit. That’s a weird coincidence, right?

>>Well, 1 in 10 roughly right? Just lots of people not telling.

>>Thought I could maybe tell you.

>>Thanks for trusting me I guess. That’s… it makes me feel a little less alone.

>>You know what I mean?

>>Fuck. Yeah. Sorry. I know exactly what you mean. I should have told you sooner.

>>Would have been nice. But I get it.

>>It’s not something you go yelling or sharing with anyone.

>>No, not just anyone.

>>I feel weird that I know all of this stuff about you but I don’t know your name.

>>Well. DADT right?

>>Do you want to know my name?

                He’s nervous, because he will share his name with Jas if he wants it, even if he just gives him Brad, that’s good enough.

>>Nah. I think I’m good actually. I think of you as Nick. Maybe if you were a bunch of letters and numbers I might want something more like a name.

>>But Nick works for me. If we ever meet in person, then we can exchange our real names. Also don’t know if I’m ready to give you my name, which I know is probably hilarious to you considering all the tips you had to give me when we first started chatting online.

>>I think of you as Jas. Like Jace, short for Jason or something. So your random letters and numbers is a name for me too.

>>Oh. Huh. That’s cool. Think you’ll find my name funny if we ever meet up.

>>When.

>>What?

>>When we meet up. Not if.

>>Okay. When we meet up. You’ll still find it funny.

>>Wait.

>>Do you always limit yourself to only when you’re on leave?

>>Yeah. Pretty much. For in person that is. Not worth it otherwise.

>>You know my friend that I came out to?

>>Yeah.

>>I think he’s under the impression that you’re my boyfriend or something.

>>Well. I’m something, that’s for sure.

>>Ugh. Bad joke.

>>I meant that I’m at least a friend. That’s something, right?

>>Oh.

>>Yeah. You’re definitely a friend.

>>My hot single gay friend that I jerk off with on the regular.

>>Yep. I’d say the same about you.

>>Yeah, but you have more than just me.

>>Jas, how much time do you think I have to spend online messaging people? You’re pretty much it, and have been for a while.

>>Really?

>>Yeah. I’m going out and hooking up with guys when I’m on leave, and where I feel like it’s not going to implode my career. But I spend more time being deployed and chatting with you.

>>Oh.

>>You okay?

>>Yeah.

>>Did you think I had a whole bunch of guys I was chatting with?

>>Yeah.

>>Did a few years ago. You’re the only one I kept it up with. I enjoy talking with you as well as the sex stuff.

>>You’re the only one I ever talked to.

>>You’re allowed to talk with other guys. And hook up with them.

>>You don’t owe me your fidelity.

>>I am using Grindr to hook up, but it’s a one and done kind of thing.

>>Do you think if we ever meet up it’ll be a one and done?

                Bradley scrubs at his face, doesn’t want to make false promises.

>>I don’t know. We might take one look at one another and hate each other.

>>I don’t know.

>>I want more than hooking up.

>>Yeah.

>>Me too.

2010 - Jake

[osarina]

I JUST GOT AROUND TO READING I, CARRION AND UGH!!

“there’s a lecherous smile on Albatross’s face as he leans against the frame and looks at you, glasses hanging off the bridge of his nose. ‘Damn, if you weren’t the boss’s girl…’” awww stop it you’ll make me blush

THE SCENE W DAZAI FINDING US NOT READY YET “It’s not silly if it has you upset,” kisses on the nape of the neck and then kissing our ankles & buckling our heels >>>>>> “I’m sorry that I’m not a good enough man to do what’s right and let you go.” hey so what if i started violently sobbing. “but if fate brought us together, then far be it from me to deny the one thing in this world that has ever made me happy.” HEY SO WHAT IF I STARTED VIOLENTLY SOBBING.

“Still, he wants to gouge their eyes out.” if my man doesn’t want to gouge out people’s eyes just for looking at me, i don’t want him ‼️‼️

“My, Dazai, possessive, aren’t you?” “Very,” Dazai agrees idly. “Be sure to remember that.” bringing his hand up from your waist to cup your cheek, thumb brushing over your bottom lip as he murmurs, “That’s my girl, always so smart.” blushing giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair

“Fyodor Dostoevsky. A pleasure, truly.” oh no. oh no no no no no. that’s not good.

one more thing, i noticed that you kinda like made up your own characters (which was super cool and really creative btw!!) could you explain how/why you chose the specific authors you did? and i’m assuming you got their group names from something they wrote, any reason you chose those works in particular? (these are the ones i’m talking about: Mishima Yukio of the Sun and Steel, Nabokov’s Pale Flame, Leo Tolstoy’s Three Deaths, Cao Xueqin of the Red Chamber, Kitazawa Michihiro of Fuji Electric)

ty for listening to my ramblings once again ily !!

TUMBLR USER PE4RL-DIVER UGHHHHHH I LOVE YOU WHENEVER I SEE U IN MY NOTIFS IM SO HEART EYES

albatross is truly her no1 fan in this fic and she adores him <3 dazai is so not unsubtly jealous of him whenever she talks to him. gets all side eyed and irritated and then has to hide it whenever she looks at him LOLLLLL meanwhile albatross is just pleased that dazai is no longer an emotionless brick wall with a quick trigger finger

WHEN I TELL U THAT SCENE WAS ACTUALLY MY FAVORITE EVER i actually struggled so much writing it not because it was hard to write just because i was yearning so terrible for him LOLLLLL HAHAHAH

</33333 we all need our own beastzai truly life is so unfair he's so perfect

OMGGGGGGGG actually thats my favorite part of writing series/long one shots. i adore being able to build up new characters and organizations. usually i pull them just from some of my favorite authors/works (i cheated with the one electric company its actually just a real company because i got lazy) BUTTTTT mishima is obviously my go to just because there's lowkey already been reference to him and his works in the series but no mention of him, so he's my favorite to build and explore. and then i dont know why but i always have the russian underground divided by three (tolstoy, dostoevsky, nabokov) and usually in a constant territory struggle. of the two ive built up, nabokov is usually the one i use the most because ive hced that he worked with the previous boss pretty often before things went to shit. but i've actually built tolstoy's organization more than his - the three deaths is led by a triumvirate of tolstoy, gorky, and cheknov who were all contemporaries and had were associated with each other. and actually fun fact, i plan on doing a fic with a reader who takes the place of cheknov as one of the three deaths so we're going to see more from them. cao xueqin wrote one of the 4 great classical novels of chinese literature. my fyozai fic i've also built a new organization for - they're based in italy and are in constant conflict with the clocktower, but i don't wanna give anything away because u shall see when i finally post that

maybe one day ill do a whole little page for the organizations ive built & their references in my fics for u guys to look at if ur interested!!

[kasienda]

Bend the World Around It - Ch 5: Wedding Bells

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Read on Ao3

Last chapter finished in honor of @ladynoirjuly Day 31: Partners (posting early because I will be out of town then). Story inspired by @blur0se for @marimbles. Thanks to @coffeebanana for being an amazing beta!!

Chapter Five: Wedding Bells

Chat Noir is sprawled out on the couch. He’s reading something - an old classic in English. His choice of reading would have been unbelievable to her before their dream. Now, she doesn’t even blink. Instead, she plops down on the couch next to him and slides under his arm. 

She fits against his side like a puzzle piece that has found its place. Given how long she denied Chat Noir as a romantic possibility for so long, she’s almost not sure how they came to this moment.

And while part of her still thinks it’s silly to get married. They’re so young, they don’t know each other’s names or even all of each other’s lives, and it won’t count in the eyes of the law. She knows her maman in particular would caution her against making such reckless promises. 

But it doesn’t feel reckless when he’s the one who’s there when her maman can’t be, the one who has protected her from monsters, built her up when all was lost, who has placed himself between her and death.

He will be the only boy for her even when she doesn’t know his name. She knows it with the same certainty she knows the sun will rise the next morning.

And so she wants to get married. She approaches the way she approaches everything: with a sixty-four bullet point plan she’s written out in sparkly pink ink. And now that they’re finally here together, she wants to collect his input. 

“Are you at a good stopping point?” she asks. 

He shakes his head, but he’s already slipping a bookmark between pages anyway.

“I can wait until you are,” she objects. 

“Maybe you can,” he teases. “You underestimate this cat’s curiosity.” 

She can’t help the grin that blooms across her face. This boy. He had this way of disarming her completely. 

“I wanted to talk wedding stuff.” 

He peered over her shoulder to look at her list eagerly. 

“We can invite everyone who’s ever been akumatized,” she says.

“Definitely wouldn’t be the same without Mr. Ramier,” he says, grinning cheekily at her.

She doesn’t linger on his face or joke back. She knows that if she does, he will distract her. And as much as she loves being distracted by him, she wants to plan their wedding more. 

“That will also get most of the holders.” And somehow her parents and pretty much every one of her friends. It conveniently left out Marinette, though she suspects Chat will slip her an invitation anyway. But she’s going to do the same thing with Adrien, so she can hardly begrudge him. 

She hopes that he’s not too disappointed when Marinette doesn’t come. 

“Did you have any preferences for music?” she asks. 

“Kitty Section. Just based on their name alone.” 

She laughs. She suspects he’s actually a fan. Would he be amused to know that more than half of Kitty Section was in her class?

“Cake?” she asks, biting her lower lip. 

He frowns at her. “Seems like we’re on the same page on our favorite bakery already, are we not?” 

A grin splits her face as relief rushes through her. She had been silly to worry that he would want to order something nicer. 

Though she’s not sure there is anything nicer than her parent’s bakery. 

“Three weddings doesn’t seem excessive to you?” she asks. 

“Three might be too few given how much I love you,” he tells her. 

Goodness! He never stops! She tries to laugh, but it feels hollow. 

He takes her hand. "Hey. This was your idea. You okay?"

"I just feel silly. Like, we’re playing make believe. I just wish it was official."

"I mean, it is kinda silly,” he says, pulling her in for a kiss, and where there’s one kiss, there’s always three more with him until she’s giggling. 

“But in a fun romantic way,” he continues. And being silly is not a reason to not do it. And we also don’t have to do it if you don't want to.” He squeezes her hand. “If you want to wait until we know each other's names, I'd understand."

She wants to know his name before they get married. Without him knowing her name it doesn’t feel entirely real - it’s like they’re playing pretend or still dreaming. Not being able to talk about him with anyone only makes that feeling worse. 

But how long will they have to wait to know each other’s names? Months? Years? If she knew, maybe it would be worth it. But she doesn’t, and she’s tired of letting Monarch dictate every aspect of her life.

She wants to bring the dream to life. 

She shakes her head and kisses his nose. “I want to do it. I want the memory of it to be real.” She’s not sure if she’s explaining any of this right. So she gestures wildly to the wall. “If nothing else, we need some pictures! Know any photographers?”

“Wasn’t there an akuma victim who took pictures? His name was… uh Vincent, I believe?” 

“Right!” That was Adrien’s photographer. How could she have forgotten? 

… 

They spend the summer honing in on the details by taste testing her father’s cakes and exploring possible venues for an outdoor wedding.

She’s a bit irritated that the color scheme has already been decided based on their miraculouses, but on the other hand, she’s excited that she’s wearing red. 

Her mother would love that if she knew. 

She makes a point of showing her new transformation to her mother at one of their bakery visits when Chat Noir is in the bathroom. And her maman coos and gushes over it politely the way a casual friend would.

Not the way a mother would. 

Marinette sighs, willing herself not to be disappointed, wishing she could tell them if no one else. 

At least hiring them for the event would guarantee their attendance even if they didn’t quite understand what the day meant for their daughter.

But maybe she will be able to tell them one day and they could all revisit the memory from photographs.

She can’t believe that tomorrow is the day! She bundles up her collection of candles, ribbon, and roses. She’s determined to decorate their apartment so completely over the top that even her newly renewed husband will be wowed. 

But when she comes in through the living room window, Chat Noir is already there, leaning against the corner of the couch reading what she swears is his third novel in this month.

She frowns. This wasn’t their day. What was he doing there? 

He glances up from the volume, his smile reaches his eyes. 

“What are you doing here?” she asks. The question comes out sharper than she intends. 

But his smile only widens. “Nice to see you, too, m’lady.” 

“That’s not what I meant and you know it. You’re not supposed to be here! This is not our day. How am I supposed to surprise you if you’re here? I thought— you’re not supposed to be here.” 

His expression softens and he stands, carefully taking the bags out of her hands before he takes her hands in his. 

“I… uh… it would have been difficult to surprise me here.” 

“What? Why?” 

He rubs the back of his neck. “I sleep here every night,” he confesses. 

Her face blanches. “How long?” 

“Since we moved in.”

Since they moved in? That was like six months ago. Hadn’t he gone home? Had his family not noticed his absence? She knew he didn’t have the best relationship with his father, but was it so awful there that he preferred to spend all that time alone. 

He hated being alone. 

Was this why he was always so happy when she arrived - like over the moon happy?

Tears are slipping down her face before she knows she’s crying. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

He pulls her into his arms. “I didn’t want to pressure you to be here more often.”

“And no one noticed?” 

He shrugs. “If anyone noticed they haven’t said anything.” 

She wants to scream. She wants to fight the people who clearly don’t know how to appreciate the wonderful man holding her. But he can’t tell her his name, she can’t know.

He kisses the top of her head. “It’s fine. You’re my family now.” 

He’s her family now, too. 

She kisses him and then pulls away. “Do you want to help me with your surprise?” 

A slow grin splits his face. 

… 

Chat Noir considers the new transformation in the mirror. It echoes an actual tuxedo, and it looks better than anything Adrien’s ever worn on a shoot. 

And that’s why he kinda hates it.

It doesn’t feel like him. It feels like he’s trying to impress someone. And he wants Ladybug to approve of his ensemble. She seems to have an eye for fashion. 

Will she hate it if he scraps the whole thing? 

Because this isn’t how he ever pictured his wedding. No one in his life really knows he’s getting married at all. But he’s getting married to Ladybug , which means he won’t trade the day for anything.

A soft tap on the door interrupts his musings. “Psst! Chat Noir? Can I come in?”

He grins at the unexpected voice. “No! Don’t you know it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding?”

She opens the door and slips inside anyway. “Between the two of us, I think we can handle a little bad luck. You know there’s definitely going to be an akuma today. Probably a terrible one.” 

He grins at her through the mirror. She’s still in her usual transformation. He knows that she and Tikki put something together, but she’s been tight lipped about showing him any of her designs.

But she’s right. They don’t need to worry about bad luck. They have already dodged the end of the world.

“What’s going on?” 

Her fingers writhe with nerves. “I just— it occurred to me that you would be in here alone. And I, well, I wanted you to have the opportunity to express having doubts or cold feet or whatever.”

He pulls her to him. “So, you’re like serving as my best man, right now?” 

She nods. “Best man, best friend, your family. Whoever should be here and is not—“ 

He interrupts her with a kiss. “I have never been so sure about anything in my life. You?” 

She nods rapidly in agreement. “Yeah, that.”

She goes in for the kiss this time. And he can’t stop smiling. 

“We’re going to be late to our own wedding,” he teases. 

She waves away his objection. “Who’s not going to wait for us?” 

Her lips meet his again. 

“Monarch.” 

She growls against his mouth and he laughs.

“He’s right. If anything you should start the ceremony early.” 

Dread pools in his gut. 

Ladybug whirls out of his arms, but their fingers remain interlocked. In fact, he clings to her and she’s shaking just as hard so she feels it too. But he can’t let her go. Not now. 

Bunnyx can’t expect that of them, can she? 

“I just want you both to know that every time I show up to any of my closest friends they always react with panic and fear. Do you know how much that sucks?” 

But Chat Noir doesn’t relax. It doesn’t feel like Ladybug does either. 

Bunnyx sighs. “I come in peace! I swear!” Then she grins. “I actually have a wedding gift for each of you!”

…

Ladybug follows Bunnyx into the burrow. They immediately exit into another tiny room in the complex to find her parents standing there waiting.

Her papa starts at her sudden presence. 

“Ladybug! I hope you have found everything satisfactory.” 

She freezes, turning to Bunnyx with a silent question. 

Bunnyx nods enthusiastically. 

Marinette turns back to her parents, but words fail her and instead she’s crying. 

“Ladybug?” her maman asks. “Are you alright? You don’t have to get married today—“ 

Marinette throws herself into her maman’s arms.

“There, there,” her maman soothes as her papa looks on in absolute confusion.

A laugh breaks through her tears and she pulls back. 

“Maman, papa! I have something to tell you.” She lets her transformation fall. 

Their eyes go wide, and then they’re crying too. 

“I’m getting married today!”

Her parents both stare at her, unmoving with wide eyes and open mouths. 

“Please say something,” she begs. 

Her maman moves first. Yanks her into her arms. 

“Marinetta?” Her father’s voice comes out as a whisper. “You’re Ladybug?” 

She nods against her maman’s shoulder. Being in her arms in wonderful. Her grip is tight and firm. It feels like her maman instead of a friendly stranger. Her papa’s arms come around them both.

“Marinette! Marientte!” her maman cries. “I don’t understand. How could we never see it?” 

“You’re getting married? Since when did you have a boyfriend?” Papa asks. “How much have we missed?” 

Marinette laughs and laughs until she’s crying again. 

“I wanted to tell you,” she says. “I wanted to tell you I was Ladybug. That I have had a boyfriend for four years—“

“Four years?!” 

“—but three of those years technically never happened, even though they feel like they happened. I wanted you to meet him, which is why I’ve been bringing him around to the bakery, but I couldn’t tell him who you were to me. I still can’t tell him. When we learned each other’s names the first time the world ended. And the second time, apparently time broke. But Bunnyx says it’s okay to tell you who I am, so at least I can share today with you, with you knowing what it means.”

Her maman strokes her face as she rambles, but her papa breaks down into sobs. Like, heart-wrenching sobs. 

She turns to him in concern. “Papa? What’s wrong? Are you—?” But she can’t bring herself to ask him if he’s disappointed. 

“I didn’t make a good enough cake,” he says, attempting and failing to wipe away his own tears. 

It’s Marinette’s turn to stare at him in shock before she bursts out laughing. “What are you talking about? The cake is beautiful and delicious. I helped you make it!” 

He shakes his head. “That cake was for Ladybug. Not for my daughter.” 

She laughs again, and throws her arms around him. “Don’t worry, papa! We’re going to do this again once we know each other’s names. That will actually be our third wedding because my husband is ridiculous and has made me ridiculous by proxy.”

Her maman smiles fondly, her eyes tear up. Her hand strokes Marinette’s arm and shoulders. 

“I love you, Marinetta!” Her papa says. “I’m so happy that you’re happy.”

“We both love you!” her maman adds. “Thank you for telling us. I’m so sorry that we missed so much. You’ve become such an amazing young woman when I wasn’t looking.

Marinette can’t stop smiling. She doesn’t think this day can get any better than it already is, and yet, somehow it’s better than she ever imagined. 

“Would you like to see my Ladybug wedding dress again, knowing it’s me?”

Crying, her maman nods. 

…

The second Ladybug follows Bunnyx into the burrow, the rabbit hero opens the door to Chat Noir’s room. For a split second he feels dizzy, seeing two of her.

But he doesn’t have time to ponder the contradictions of time travel because it’s Nino and Kagami she’s ushered into the room. Even seeing them together associated with Chat Noir has his heart pounding with stress.

Kagami offers him a polite nod of the head, and Nino smiles widely. “What can we do for you, mec?” he asks. 

Chat Noir glances at Bunnyx. “Is this not a bad idea?”

“They’re my present.” 

Kagami frowns. “I am no one’s present.”

Even Nino looks confused.

But Chat Noir understands. Or he thinks he does. But the hope warming his chest burns painfully because what if he’s wrong?

“I get to tell them?” he croaks. 

She grants him a beaming smile.

“Both of them?”

Bunnyx nods, but her expression turns stern. “But no one else. I know there are others you would really like to tell, but you can’t. And you–” she whirls on Nino specifically. 

He freezes. “What?” 

“You can’t slip up. You especially cannot tell what you’re about to learn to Alya. I will give you a script for anytime she starts probing. And you will follow it, understand?” 

Nino visibly swallows, but he nods.

Bunnyx steps away. 

Kagami’s displeased glare is focused on him now, and Nino looks more like he swallowed a lemon after Bunnyx yelled at him, but Chat Noir can’t stop grinning. He gets to tell someone, gets to share this part of his life, the Ladybug part of his life with some of his best friends. 

He turns to Nino first. “So you know what I said at our first dinner about not being able to share this part of my life with my friends?” 

Nino’s brows furrow, but he nods. 

“I wasn’t being entirely honest. I was sharing things with my friends. I just couldn’t tell you that you were already my friend, my best friend.” 

Nino’s face goes blank, his eyes blow open. “A-Adrien?!” 

Kagami’s ice expression dissolves instantly. She’s blank with surprise for a second, but then she smiles.

“Plagg, claws in.”

Nino tackles him into a hug. They’re both laughing. “Oh my god, mec! You’re Chat Noir. I’m such an asshole!” 

“No, you’re not!” Adrien objects. “We’ve been over this already.”

Nino shakes his head. “But I didn’t know you were Adrien! God! I’m such an idiot. This makes so much sense. This is why you were so excited to show me your apartment! Mec! I’m so excited you’re not in that house! That you have someone!”

Nino hugs him again.

“Thank you,” Adrien says, squeezing back. “I’m so excited I get to share this with you.”

Then he pulls away and turns to Kagami. 

“Both of you.” 

She smiles. “Nino’s correct. This makes a lot of things make sense.”

“I’m sorry,” he tells her. “I never wanted to hurt you with my lies and disappearing act. I’m glad you can know why now.”

She shakes her head. “I understand. I’m honored to be part of your inner circle now. And I’m so happy that you’ve managed to find happiness with someone who understands you, who you can put first.”

He hugs her too. And then, Nino joins in, and Kagami squeaks.

Adrien hugs her harder.

He’s not alone anymore.

…

Ladybug doesn’t walk down the aisle. It doesn’t feel right. She yo-yo’s in instead, which is quite the achievement with her modified transformation, but it’s stupidly dramatic, which she knows her partner loves. 

His face glows when she steps down to stand next to him. She wonders if she even needed to spend all that time designing this Ladybug wedding dress with Tikki because his eyes are locked on her face. And he looks so happy. She almost wants to cry that she’s the one that can bring that light to his eyes. 

The formal suit he was wearing in the dressing room is gone. Instead, his transformation is the same as it usually is except his bell has been replaced with a red bow tie. It looks completely out of place and therefore ridiculous, and she can’t help but laugh when she sees him. It’s too perfect because it’s completely him.

There isn’t anyone standing on the dais behind or next to them. There’s no bridesmaids or groomsmen, and there’s no one to marry them either. They decided to stand alone and together because that’s how it had always been between them. And they don’t need anyone else to announce who they are to one another. 

And though she knows there’s dozens of friends and family seated behind them, in this moment she only sees him.

He takes her hands, lifts each of them to his mouth for a kiss. 

“M’lady, I do not have words to describe how meeting you changed my whole universe. You were a girl that literally fell from the sky.” 

She laughs. That was one way to put it. 

“You were not enthusiastic about this whole superhero thing, but you were smart and prepared in a way that I most definitely was not. It was easy to trust you, to fall in step with you as your partner right from the beginning. And then you stood up to the world’s biggest bastard, and I was blown away. I looked up to you then, and I have never stopped. I know that I must have been irritating in so many attempts to earn your attention and favor.”

She shakes her head in disagreement, squeezing his hands in reassurance. She would change nothing about their story. 

“And I’m so grateful that you saw past all of that. I can’t explain what your care and love has meant to me over these last four years, and even before that. You make me want to be the best version of myself. I promise to protect you with my life, to stand at your side, to shoulder every burden with you, and to follow you to the ends of the earth. I love you now and forever.” 

She wants to kiss him. She almost does before she remembers she has to wait a few more minutes. 

Waiting is agonizing. 

Instead she has to speak to him with words. She has always been terrible with words, but for him she wants to be better. She will be better. 

She squeezes his hands that she has yet to release. He is her anchor even now. 

“Sometimes, I’m really overwhelmed that we have to protect this city, and sometimes the whole world,” she begins. “I have wondered before if we didn’t have to do this if we could be together without masks.

“But I can’t wish for things to have been different. Because this city needing us is what brought us together, fighting akumas is what taught us to rely and trust each other viscerally as strong as instinct, what allowed me to eventually fall in love with you.”

His eyes are swirling with emotion and once again, she finds herself wanting to lean in and kiss him. Instead, she squeezes his hands again, harder.

“And so, I don’t regret any of it. I wouldn’t change any of it, not a single low moment because it brought us to today. And I’m really really grateful for today. 

“It will always be you and me against the world even when we have to bend the whole world around us.”

Her throat closes off suddenly, and she has to blink back tears.

“I l-love you,” she chokes out. “It doesn’t seem like enough to say.

Enough to promise. Because there’s so much more I want to give you, want to share with you. And one day - I don’t know when - but one day it will happen. There will be no walls or masks between us. But right now I give you my heart.” 

Tears fall over her partner’s mask and down to his cheeks. She gently frees one of her hands to gently wipe his tears away with her thumb. His head falls forward into her own. 

“There is no better gift in this—“

The akuma alarm goes off on every cell phone at once. Ladybug turns towards the sea of guests and laughs.

“Did I call it?”

He smirks. “You called it.” 

But neither of them immediately move. Monarch will not take this moment from them.

“Chaton, would you do me the honor of becoming my husband once again?”

He raises their joined hands, and kisses the back of her palm and each of her knuckles. “I will. And will you become my wife?” 

She feels so giddy she might fly away. “I will.”  

The trees at the edge of the park fall over like they’re made of paper. And still, no one moves. She is strangely touched by that.

She yanks him forward into a kiss. In that moment he is her whole world; he is everything. Cheers and whoops explode around them. 

It feels like a dream. 

But it’s not. It’s real. 

They pull away. Her eyes blink open and his green sclera blink back at her - bright and smiling. He nods once, and together, they turn towards the akuma. 

She has bad news for Monarch. Nothing can ruin this day. Even if they spend the rest of it fighting back to back akumas, they will spend it together. 

As they will for the rest of their lives.

[snowfelledayah]

Fisher of Reels

Over the last few months there have been several reels popping up on my feed from Orthodox Jewish women talking about "what my life is like" -- and I love it! I love learning about other religions and other cultures, it's really cool. I really love, respect, and admire the beauty, devotion, and culture of Orthodox Judaism.

Then one day, I was surprised to find one from a Muslim woman basically doing something similar, and I thought "this is awesome!"...

... until I saw the content.

One of these things is not like the other

The thing about watching videos about Orthodox Judaism is that the content creators clearly state I am an Orthodox Jew. But when someone states This is my life and I'm a Muslim, you could be getting anything under the sun. This can lead to a lot of frustration and also general confusion, particularly for non-Muslims who being told "This is what Islam is".

So in the case of this video, we see a Muslim woman wearing a Niqab in every video (which is fine, but not representative of every Muslim), often with her husband, explaining what her life "as a Muslim" is like, which has the possibility to teach people the only thing they can expect from "Islam" is "this one thing in particular", and that is really far from the truth. I do wish we had better terminology to separate various types of practice in Islam, but there aren't any really good ways to distinguish, and here we are.

One of the videos that really grinds my gears is the one where they talk about what kinds of food we can or cannot eat. The video portrays the Muslim woman flitting around various situations where she explains Halal and its relationship with Kosher, and how Kosher food is normally Halal "except for this product right here, it says Kosher but I have to do an extra check for Vanilla Extract because that wouldn't be Halal (permissible)" -- quote is not verbatim, but to the spirit of what was portrayed.

So let's talk about that. Let's talk about the evils of Vanilla extract.

A shocking revelation

This may come as a shock (especially to mainstream Muslims who often focus more on hadith and sunnah than anything else) but the Qur'an does not tell us to avoid alcohol -- especially including its presence in small quantities in things like vanilla extract. The Qur'an does outline issues surrounding intoxicants / alcohol, and it advises us caution, but it's not entirely what you might think -- or what you may have been told.

A wretched hive of scum and villainy... we must be cautious

First, the Qur'an tells us (2:219) that alcohol (intoxicants to be clear, so remember, that's not just alcohol which some seem to conveniently forget) has the potential for great harm, but also great benefit, though the harm does tend to outweigh the benefit, which is fair. Drug and alcohol use tends largely not to be a constructive practice, and while some people might claim to 'just like the taste', there are a thousand drinks that taste better, so the bottom line is this: the main reason we drink is that we like the effects, be that mental, emotional, social, physical, and so on.

We drink because it alters our state of mind and body in a way that can be pleasant, and in moderation, there may be nothing wrong with that (the Qur'an does not say this, but it is a statement reasonable to make by using logic and reason, something the Qur'an does instruct us to do). The Qur'an outlines the dangers by which we should be cautious, but mentions there are benefits to the same product and stops short of making any kind of 'command' or 'legal injunction' to completely avoid it. This makes sense as we remember anything can become an addiction, anything can become a problem, if we allow it.

Instead, the Qur'an leaves us to our own social and/or moral devices to make this choice for ourselves, but with caution (see below).

Interfering with the wifi

Next, we are told not to be intoxicated when we pray (4:43) which again seems entirely fair. Intoxication affects our mental, emotional, and physical state, and therefor would heavily distract our focus from God.

This is not a big or unusual ask, and it is a fairly common thing in a wide variety of religions. Even in various forms of Paganism and/or Polytheism, it was ill-advised to go before the Gods while your mind is altered. We've known in terms of Divinity that this can be a Bad Idea(tm) for thousands of years.

The devil, you say!

Finally, the Qur'an goes on to mention (5:90-91) intoxicants are a tool of "the devil" and bears an evil that spreads dissonance between humans and distract us from God's path, which continues to make sense: if you've allowed alcohol or drugs to become a problem for your life, there are ways out which can and should be followed; but 5:90 in particular is interesting in its perpetual mis-translation among both English and Arabic speakers. The last sentence is frequently stated to be "and you should avoid them" (intoxicants, gambling, altars, and arrows of chance), but it actually says to avoid him (aka "the devil"): You shall avoid him so that you may be successful.

This outlines what we're meant to avoid isn't exactly intoxicants so much as the idea of harm, and again, anything in our lives has the potential to become harmful. We cannot so narrowly define the idea of 'harm' to that of alcohol or gambling or any other single perceived negativity without remembering all the things in our lives that are colloquially considered 'permissible' that could also become harmful should we misuse or abuse them.

It just so happens that things like alcohol start out a bit on the dicey side to begin with and can lead more quickly down a path of hurt.

What about Hadith? (Insert scholar here)? (Insert fatwa here)?

... sure, what about it?

Hadith are primarily hearsay, the words of man written down after the word of God. While some hadith have value in assisting us in the understanding of religious and cultural practice, they are not the word of God and never have been. As for scholars and fatwas, the compaction of the words of man on top of the words of man over and over again throughout the centuries has led to a degradation of the Divine that must be stopped at all costs.

Never forget, the Qur'an specifically encourages us told not to follow tradition blindly and to think for ourselves, and warns us that those who do not think will lead us astray:

6:115-116: The word of your Lord has been completed with truth and justice; there is no changing His words. He is the Hearer, the Knower. If you obey the majority of those on earth they will lead you away from God's path; that is because they follow conjecture, and that is because they only guess.

Ideas of man in any age are finite.

So what about Vanilla Extract?

Using alcohol in a way that is not proverbial 'sin' is, in fact, not prohibited by the Qur'an, plain and simple. In fact it's not even discussed beyond the point where it is mentioned it has both harm and benefits (the benefits are not really extrapolated).

At no point does the Qur'an tell someone to avoid vanilla extract -- or anything else really -- because it has a drop of alcohol in it.

In no way does the Qur'an instruct us to eschew establishments or people where alcohol is present, though logic dictates if alcohol is a trigger for your addiction or habit, avoiding it makes logical sense in that capacity.

The Qur'an demands we think critically and evaluate life with reason, logic, and all of our senses, and not to blindly follow any tradition or status-quo. It encourages us to be open-minded and listen to all views on various topics and follow what is best, even if it is new or different. The references for these are all over the Qur'an but you can start with 3:137, 6:115-116, 7:179, 8:22, 10:100, 12:111, 17:36, 26:5 and 38:7 (definitely not limited to these points though).

So unless vanilla extract is driving you to hate your neighbor -- in which case you may want to not only stop eating vanilla extract but also contact a consultation with a medical professional, because that is wild my friend -- you are fine, and we really need to stop flying in the face of logic and reason suggesting otherwise.

TL;DR this for us: what does the Qur'an tell us?

The Qur'an tells us that intoxicants have both harm and benefits, though the harm tends to outweigh benefits. We are told intoxication can bring dissonance between human beings and distracts us from God. We are told not to be intoxicated when we pray. Finally, we are told to avoid harm in order to succeed in life.

The Qur'an says nothing about a drop of alcohol in food, the use of alcohol in medical practice, friends or establishments where alcohol is present, or even using alcohol in quantities that are not causing harm in your life. Instead, the Qur'an warns us that drinking has the possibility of leading to Bad Things(tm), and if we end up in the 'bad things' territory, we should stop what we're doing and turn to God instead.

[itsclydebitches]

I think one of the things that bothers me most about the way RWBY has handled the whole b/umbleby thing is the fact that volume 9 kind of puts paid to the idea that their relationship was a 'slow burn'.

If it were a slow burn, if their relationship had been steadily growing and changing over the past few volumes and according to their experiences, then that burn ultimately resolving and becoming explicit and them getting together would have been a significant milestone that changed things between them so completely they could never go back to how things were before.

But... nothing changed. If you took out the confession and the kiss and Ruby's (understandable) anger... you'd never be able to tell anything had changed between them. They have the same level of physical affection and tenderness they've had since volume 6. They don't talk to each other any differently. There's been no change in their behavior, no evidence they are now a couple in a way that they were not before except their one single kiss. And that's just deeply unsatisfying to me.

This criticism popped up after the episode aired and I came across a couple of posts that, with lesser and greater respect, pushed back against it. One in particular was rather snide, asking what RWDE folks expected to change: for them to be kissing non-stop? Declaring their undying love at ten-minute intervals? Pulling out a ring for marriage? People are still themselves while dating, you know. Besides, they're a little busy at the moment!

Now, I personally believe that yes, there should be changes to their behavior. I likewise believe that this could have easily been accomplished if a) Blake and Yang hadn't already gone through the physical displays of affection that RWBY uses to confirm a romantic relationship (primarily hand-holding) and b) if they hadn't jumped straight to "I love you." Removing the numerous moments of hand-holding since Volume 6 would have left that as an easy, visual indicator of the change in their relationship (rather than the confusing "So are they canonical or not??" we got for three years). Likewise, having them admit to having a crush could have opened the door to actually dating which in turn could have eventually led to the big "I love you" moment. That's how you do a slow-burn post-confession: breaking up all those relationship milestones and thus making time for the characters to run into obstacles and celebrate the success of each step forward. The way bumblebee has been written, it simultaneously feels far too slow (why did it take 4+ years for them to admit they like each other?) and simultaneously way too fast (they don't actually admit that they like each other, but that they're IN LOVE).

Beyond what all might have been added though, I think it's worth considering what might have been lost in a better written romance. Slow-burns, as mentioned above, thrive on obstacles. There has to be a reason why the characters don't get together, whether that's internal ("I'm too afraid of commitment to date them") or external ("Our families will lose their shit if we date"). Seriously, this is like writing 101, yet Bumblebee gave us NOTHING. For literal years there was no reason, internal or external, why they couldn't/wouldn't admit to their feelings, which not only begs the question of why in the world it took a magical prison to force them to confess, but ensures that their relationship doesn't change as a result of that weight being lifted from their shoulders. If Blake was scared of what it would mean for her to love a human, or if Yang was scared to commit after losing so much else in life, or if there was homophobia to deal with in Remnant, or if they both wanted to wait until the Salem fight was over, or if they honestly didn't realize they had romantic feelings, or if one of them needed to come to terms with being queer first, or if there was a literal curse at play that hindered the relationship somehow... there are a HUNDRED ways to provide obstacles and the removal of any one of them would have changed both the character(s) and their relationship with each other.

Not to continually bring up my blorbo Trent Crimm, but Ted Lasso does this beautifully. With the removal of his obstacle (inability to admit that he's gay) Trent becomes a radically different person from who he was in Season One; a more authentic person. His style changes, he smiles more, his conversation becomes more "dorky," and his relationships with the rest of the cast likewise develops. What would Yang look like if she went on a journey of coming out as queer? What would Blake look like if she kept her activist roots by fighting for the right to date a human? How would they both act post-kiss if they'd been afraid, for whatever reason, to show that level of affection in public before? Something like holding hands could have been a radical act -- it IS for real queer people!! -- rather than a generic, cutsey detail we've been getting for years now.

Instead, as you say, anon, literally nothing changes. I am 99.9% convinced that Ruby wouldn't even know Yang was now dating Blake if they hadn't exited the storm still kissing because them sitting close and occasionally holding hands has been their norm since VOLUME SIX. Nothing changes because RT didn't do any of the work to write an actual, romantic relationship. They wrote a couple of years worth of implied queerbaiting and then confirmed it when it looked like RWBY would be cancelled. We don't know anything about them in regards to romance and/or sexuality. When did Yang realize she likes girls when she started the series only appreciating guys? Is Blake expected to marry anyone in particular given her status as the pseudo-princess of Menagerie? Have either of them ever been in a relationship before? Do they have any idea what they want out of a relationship? Does the fact that they're on a supposedly doomed quest with their world hanging in the balance have any bearing on their long-term plans? There are fictional couples who avoid admitting feelings because of the presumed hopelessness of their plot and there are those that grab at a relationship and hold on with both hands because they're determined to live and love for whatever time they have left. Bumblee offers none of this. Their love exists only between the two of them, primarily off-screen, separate from both the plot and the rest of the cast.

The fact that Yang never once talks to Ruby about her feelings and then the Volume drops Ruby's annoyance really says it all. Of course nothing changes. RT doesn't want to write a Blake/Yang subplot. They just want to have a queer couple among the main team to bring in viewers and sell merch. The fandom has done ALL the work to make Bumblebee a nuanced, heart-felt love story. It literally, barely exists on screen and what little we have gotten often makes no sense. They hide their feelings when they have no reason to. Yang is worried about a fight with Blake that never happened. They both say they love things about the other that sound like a list of generic Good Characteristics, rather than traits that actually align with these characters. They're caught kissing thanks to the magical world they're in and the characters treat this as a given, giving the story an excuse not to engage with their reactions because again, the story isn't interested in that. One reaction is tossed in for the drama? Don't worry, the tree will cure Ruby of her understandable anger that Yang is more concerned with holding Blake's hand than her sister's tragedy-inducing depression. Everything is only canon in the moment.

Outside of the kiss checkbox there's no romance here and, thus, no reason to show its development. All RT needed was to get one kiss on screen and then boom, their merch sells out and (they hope) Volume 10 is greenlit. Don't get me wrong, I'm still pleased it's actually confirmed now, but it's nevertheless the fans who are doing all the work to make this an epic love story, not the writers.

[legacyshenanigans]

Alright, long-winded and random, but do you guys wanna know about the wild dream I had? And I have dreams like this regularly, I don't know what that says about me, but yeah 🤣 here we go..

The dream was in segments for some reason, where I like fell into different areas randomly.

Segment 1:

I was in an office building, there was just a bunch of people in suits working on computers, but the office building was like a HUGE log cabin in the middle of a city, and I remember thinking IN my dream "this is so out of place" 🤣

Anyway, some woman wanders over to me with a giant bag filled with cutlery and she says "You have to go and set the table for lunch time" and I said in my dream "I dont work here" and she was like "It doesn't matter, just go and do it" so I took the bag and went into this room where there was the BIGGEST table I've ever seen, and I only had 10 minutes to set up all the cutlery on this table ready for the lunch hour, and for some reason one of my cousins who havnt seen for like 15 years showed up and started talking to me and I was like "Listen, I need to get this done stop talking to me" and he KEPT talking to me and in the end I lost my rag and I was like "If you're gonna stand there distracting me, atleast fucking help me!!" And then I fell through the floor into segment 2 of the dream.

Segment 2:

I was at a big house, and there was a pond in the back garden. One of my uncles wife's dad's was there (no idea why ive met him twice lmao) and he was telling me that there was way too many frogs in this pond and that it was really bothering him, because they're so loud and they're always splashing around in the water. He also told me there was a particular frog that looked really weird and it was like the leader of all the other frogs, and he told me to try and get rid of some of them, and gave me a net and a huge bag to put all the frogs in. Anyway, so there I am, scooping frogs and putting them in this bag, but they're all jumping out all over the fuckin place and it's total chaos. And then I see this "Leader" frog. It's bigger than the others, so I thought if I could get the leader in the bag and make it STAY in the bag, the others would follow, so I'm wading in the pond trying to catch this big frog, and I finally catch it and it starts fuckin snarling at me and trying to bite me, and I'm screaming for help, thrashing around, fighting this frog in this random ass pond, and then I suddenly went underwater, then popped up in segment 3 of the dream.

Segment 3:

I was sat on a sofa in a living room, and there was a little ginger dog next to me, staring at me. And then one of my uncles walked into the room and was like "are you ready to go?" And I was like "where?" And he said "We'll take the dogs for a walk" and I said "Dogs plural?" Because far as I knew there was only the one dog, the little ginger one that was next to me, and I looked back at the dog and there was now 4 of them all sat there looking at me. So we take them for a walk, and we're walking along the beach in the next town over to where I live now, and my uncle says "Had any weird dreams lately?" And I said "Yeah I'm having one right now, actually" and laughed, and my uncle looks at me confused and says "What do you mean?" And then I get confused and say "Well this is a dream, isn't it? I'm dreaming, like right now? None of this is real?" And my uncle stops and looks at me like I'm a fuckin monster or something, he looks terrified and his face started stretching out and going all fuckin weird and he starts screaming and his scream was getting louder and louder and the dogs turned to Ash like Thanos just did the snap or some shit. And the sand and sea on the beach went all black and fuzzy and then I woke up.

Anyway, thanks for coming to my talk. 🤣

If anyone is a big dream freak, lemme know what all this means? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[pynkhues]

So I know people tend to have lots and lots of opinion about dog pound but more often then not, I’ve seen a tendency for folks to give Roman’s recollection of the game (that dog pound was bulling/abusive/messed up in some way shape or form) the most weight…and this candidly baffles me for a bunch of reasons. I know the actor's opinions don't need to be given weight, but I see tons of weight given to actor interviews for Succession in other contexts and both Jeremy and Kieran (per an interview with Kieran around S3) signed on to the read that dog pound wasn’t traumatizing but was instead a rewritten memory because Roman generally felt like a victim and I tend to agree with that read. It also kind of fits in more with the dynamic we generally see Kendall and Roman have throughout the show and especially in Seasons 1-3. Add to this that Roman was around 4 when this took place if we're taking his word for it (making Kendall under 10 and Connor early 20’s-ish?) and again I’m wondering why his memory is given so much more weight than Connors.  Do you have any view or thoughts as to why Roman is treated as the more reliable narrator when it comes to dog pound and more broadly how do you tend to think about the siblings various contradictory childhood memories?  

It's an interesting one, isn't it?

I agree with you (and the actors, haha), that I think the dog pound wasn't traumatising or that it even really meant anything at the time they were playing it. It's just a children's game that took on a different meaning in their adulthood as Roman and Kendall's particular dynamic crystalised. I talked about it a little bit in this post about games on the show if you're interested in reading more about that in particular!

I do think the context of Roman bringing up the dog pound game when he did is also important and not talked about as much as it should be. After all, Kendall's kind of seen to have the more defined arc over these episodes between the failed coup, his relapse, then the upswing of him getting in bed with the enemy (Sandy and Stewy).

Roman though has a really complicated arc too - it's his inability to stand with Kendall which makes the coup fail, and his elevation as prized son in Austerlitz is undermined by what I tend to interpret as a mix of guilt and shame first over letting Kendall down and then over his relapse, which bleeds into a degree of protectiveness which we don't usually see from him, both in that episode and in the next (it's an underrated moment, but Roman offering to make everyone stop doing drugs at the party before they go in in 1.08 is very special to me).

But there's a shift then in 1.08 which is triggered by Stewy pretty blatantly cutting him out of something and folding Kendall back in. It's this teetering new power dynamic where any guilt he felt is swallowed up by the realisation he doesn't want to lose this new station as the dog at their father's side, and I think he uses this distorted memory from childhood to justify his anger and try to reinforce this position. Kendall thought Roman was the weak dog once, but he's not, Kendall is. Kendall's the one out, Kendall's the weird one, Kendall is, as Shiv aptly put it in 1.01, not emotionally strong and has addiction issues.

(Interestingly too, while it's not in the episode, in the 1.08 script it shows that Roman's there when Kendall realises their dad's sent Greg to keep an eye on him, and I think there's this interesting emphasis there in Roman realising Kendall needs a babysitter twice - himself in the last ep and Greg in this one - which for him reinforces Kendall as the 'weak' one.)

He weaponises a long past memory that he treats as an immovable truth to not just play victim, but I think as a yardstick to show how far he's come, and how far Kendall's fallen.

As for why Roman's treated as the more reliable narrator, I think there are a few reasons for it. In particular, I do think Kendall is the Known Liar of the show, haha. All the kids lie to varying degrees of course, but Kendall really lies in a way that I tend to think can feel more insidious, particularly as he lies in such a wildly broad spectrum - sometimes it's aching self-flagellation, sometimes it's mortifying self-aggrandisement, sometimes it's just straight up pathetic, and sometimes it's just the awkward vulnerability of trying to save face (particularly when he's relapsing).

We don't see Roman explicitly lie all that much on the show, at least not in the way many of the other characters do. In some ways he's actually the opposite to Kendall because Kendall tends to use lies as a means of defense or a way to hide while Roman absolutely and often weaponises a truth. Orrr at least I'd say that's what he would like to think of himself? I actually think Roman lies all the time, it's just less through actual lying like Kendall does, and more through undermining the truth or playing around in the grey of it. He likes to lean on a question and see what it does to the truth, like he knows that it's malleable and wants to see the shape it could take, and that's overall something I find super interesting about his character, and I think feeds into a distortion of truth / memory.

But back to your question about why people see Roman as the more reliable narrator of their shared past, yes, I think it's viewed through the prism of Kendall being the one more likely to lie, but I also think it's due to Roman's abuse being easier to understand and more textual than Kendall and Shiv's. We see him get hit, both Shiv and Kendall talk about Roman being hit, Roman jokes about it and diminishes it, and even in 3.09 blames Kendall and Shiv for it (I actually think there's such an interesting parallel there to Roman being abandoned with the waterpistols and the story of Shiv being abandoned with the chocolate milk in the car, but that's a whole other story, haha).

We get childhood stories from Roman more than any of his siblings, so he feels like the one who thinks about it the most. Is that true? I don't know, but I get why that would make people put more stock in his role as the narrator of it.

As for the contradictory childhood memories, I do think the show is interested in the subjectiveness of memory overall, and the way people influence the past and make history malleable, and I think that exploring that through the very specific context of a family like the Roy's, who have a loose relationship with the truth at the best of times, is a pretty remarkable way to do it.

[tarisilmarwen]

Rebels Rewatch: "Homecoming"

Hera's daddy issues, and lots of fanservice for TCW fans.

Oh hey, one of my husband's favorite episodes!

Three guesses as to why.

Yep it's because of the Quasar Fire-class cruiser-carrier.

Anyway, the need for such a thing is demonstrated right with this opening scene, with an ill-fated A-wing getting blown up as it tries to dock.

The A-wings get a raw deal in this show, seems like any time they need a fighter to blow up they do an A-wing.

:(

You know by now Hera's started to get to know the pilots under her command, so every loss is a little bit more personal now.

Kanan being silently supportive as Hera goes to call home.

Cham appears and cue TCW fans freaking out.

Not sure why we forwent the fanfare this episode, I don't think the circumstances are quite serious enough for it.

Kanan acting all cutely nervous to be meeting Hera's father kjhkjds.

And him getting everyone's names wrong lol, look at their faces. They're all just like, "Dad. Dad, that's not my name."

Numa introduced and though I have only seen the episode where she appears once I understand TCW fandom's base instinct to sob uncontrollably at how big she's gotten.

Cham being all, "NO I won't let you have this carrier I have to BLOW IT UP as a SYMBOL of RYLOTH RESISTANCE!" is absolutely annoying, Sato and Hera are saints for putting up with it.

I love the immediate cut to Ezra helping Hera tune Chopper up, implying he did his whole "follow you out of concern" routine and got invited to stay. :)

This is becoming a familiar sight isn't it? Ezra's role as heart of the team, peacemaker, counselor, and "bridge" is particularly emphasized this season. Not surprising, we collect most of our finale-important assets and allies this season.

Hngh that vulnerable little, "More important than family?" Fandom sometimes like to portray Mira and Ephraim as workaholics who had no time for Ezra between their broadcasts and resistance but this little line here, that Ezra would be so quietly horrified at the idea of rebellion being more important than one's own family, suggests otherwise.

Also! "Well, there's nothing more important to me." Throw that shade baby boy, love you for it.

Hhhmgngnll shut uuuuuuuuup Cham. When Ezra was preoccupied with concern over his homeworld he wasn't nearly so obnoxious. And, you know, actually accepted that other people and other worlds need help too.

Hera slipping back into her Rylothi accent when talking to her father. <3

Kanan implying his grandmaster Mace Windu talked to him about Clone Wars adventures. <3

Hera's absolutely sour sulk face. XD

This whole scene really, Gobi teasing Hera about "your Jedi", Kanan gushing about Cham, Hera cutting her father off with the doors twice.

It has all the vibes of "surly adult daughter reluctantly visiting estranged home to show off the grandkids and being annoyed that husband and dad get along so well".

Kanan's fake accent here is kind of amazing.

Hera's devotion to authenticity dislodges and reveals the supply of grenades in Numa's sack. Honestly, Cham reminds me a little bit of Saw with how obsessive he is about his own personal cause. He and Saw are both fighting for a good reason, true, but their attachments--Cham to Ryloth's freedom in particular, Saw to being right about the Death Star stopping the Empire from inflicting more loss at all costs--have blinded them, made them single-minded and selfish, hostile to others and uncaring about their plight.

Ezra, on the other hand, though he's always very worried for his world, his people, still is able to put them aside in order to do things for the wider cause, still able to access his compassion for people outside of his immediate circle.

(This would take a brief backslide in Season 3 after Malachor but come back with internal character development at the beginning of Season 4.)

Lol I knew as soon as that mouse droid got trapped that it would be used later.

Synchronized Force Push FTW.

And I love this moment where they throw each other forward, it's so awesome. Been a while since we've heard the Main Titles theme used to denote heroism too.

Ezra bouncing excitedly once he pulls off the Mind Trick, like Kanan knew he could aww.

Hera's double-take lol.

"I must destroy this ship for Ryloth!" Oh take a chill pill.

This is another case of, "Wow, that's a fast turnaround." but it's way less egregious than Ketsu's turn, since there are multiple other voices chiming in in support of Hera after her speech and all Cham does is take a step back and let Hera have the floor, he doesn't actually help until later.

Sounds like a muted version of the TIE Fighter Attack track here.

Right, so, this moment is touching and all but pulling harder on the yoke wouldn't actually do anything, this is orbit not atmosphere.

Imperial theme here, and then a snippet of "Shenanigans".

Ezra has an idea! Bet Sabine loves it because it involves blowing stuff up lol.

Love the teamwork here with this moment.

Eyyyyy everyone wins! The Rebels get the carrier, Cham gets his symbolic firey ship explosion of justice, way to go Ezra, that was a good idea, nice "bridging".

Hugs! <3

An almost Stargate-esque cue here (no surprise, Kiner worked on Stargate SG-1) which... it's not Hera's theme I don't think, at least I can't find another occurrence in "Wings of the Master". Cham's maybe? It definitely sounds like a leitmotif.

Aaaaaand a nice moneyshot of our spacefamily.

Another quality Hera-focused episode, expanding on her backstory without contradicting what we already knew. (Which I've already talked about was a bit of a problem with Sabine and "Blood Sisters".) Hera doesn't really develop much but then, again, she never really needed to. Still nice to see her reconcile with her father.

Another variation on the Friendship Fetch Quest--though Cham reappears later he's not a crucial asset to the finale like the other allies we gain this season, and once more the most important gain this episode is a ship. That Quasar carrier is going become a familiar marker and staple of the Phoenix Cell and we're going to get very used to seeing it in establishing shots... which makes the great big hero moment in "Zero Hour" it gets hurt a LOT more.

Honestly it's worth watching just for how seamlessly synchronized Kanan and Ezra are getting in combat. :)

[imaginethedragon]

I’m so disappointed with Hazbin Hotel.

Big spoilers for the whole show, episode 5 and 6 in particular

The first four episodes were a bit fast, a bit packed, but they had promise, and the next two episodes just squandered it.

The first batch set up the Vees as the antagonists for season one. Valentino as Angel’s abuser and the force pulling him away from the hotel and back into sin. He was a bit less... intimidating than I was hoping he was going to be, being played more as a joke compared to Vox and Velvette, but it could have worked. Vox was being set up as a rival for Alastor, one who Alastor didn't seem to take too seriously, but would have been fun to watch their interactions, and would have been a good lens to learn more about Alastor. Velvette being the only one without any sort of tie to the main cast was a bit strange, but they could have leaned into episode 3 and her antagonizing the overlords. It would have been a cool B-plot, and a way to show hell itself and flesh out the lore, along with learning about the overlords and their dynamics. She only interacts with Carmilla and Zestial; what do the other overlords think about her and the Vees plans? How do they feel about taking on heaven and the exorcists?

The time jump after the first four episodes was, in my opinion a huge mistake, and a MASSIVE missed opportunity. That time should have been used to develop hell, establish the hotels presence. Why does no one want to join the hotel? Angel is only there (at first) for the free rent. Why aren't more demons taking advantage of that? Why aren't people showing up to creep on Angel? What are the Vees up to? Based on episode 3, they're quite eager to go to war. What in specific are their plans? What are they doing to work towards that goal? Skipping 4-5 months ahead makes them feel toothless, and not in an intentional way. Carmilla killed that one exorcist. How? This could have been a cool and fun mystery for Velvette to solve over the course of a few episodes, but we just get handed "Oh Carmilla did it to defend her daughters and she doesn't want to go to war." Okay, well, again, how did she do it? That should then be what Velvette is trying to solve. Lucifer has next to no build up, and his song with Charlie feels like unearned catharsis for a conflict that was barely established before it was resolved. Him not having a relationship with Charlie not because he's a bad father, but because he doesn't know how to, is a super interesting plot point, and I'm so disappointed it was resolved in the same episode it was introduced. He should have been way more established before being physically brought in. We should have learned how he runs the pride ring, what the people living there think of him, what his reputation is. Those 4-5 months should have been used to build him up as the powerful but reclusive ruler of hell, maybe invoked as a threat (against the Vees by Carmilla for example, "stop provoking the overlords or I'll call Lucifer in to deal with you"). We should have seen more from Charlie talking about her relationship with him, building up their strained dynamic, and how it came to be. Did Lilith keep them apart? Was Lucifer busy and not make enough time for her when she was a child/pre-teen? We could have seen him interacting with an underling, or even talking to himself, lamenting that he doesn't know what he's doing as a father, seen more of him being locked away in his workshop and learned why he keeps to himself so much. Or not, if that's being held back for future plot reasons, but we needed SOMETHING more than what we got.

Vaggie being a fallen exorcist was introduced and then revealed to Charlie in the same episode and feels like a wasted opportunity. I know they don't want to make Vaggie the bad guy or show her directly harming Charlie, but Adam and Lute threatening her and then exposing it to Charlie almost immediately seems wasteful and incompetent on their part.

Angel's growth is all happening off screen, and I think that's a shame. He's such an interesting character, and I want to see more of him gaining confidence in himself. I think a character that's not CHOOSING to be better, but is GETTING better by experiencing genuine love and friendship is so interesting, and it's just not shown. He goes from "I'm staying here for the free rent. Crack is expensive" to standing up to Valentino in front of a crowd of onlookers with what seems to the audience as one song of development in between.

Overall there's too much happening too fast. In my opinion, the first season should have been the Vees time to shine; they should have been the villains. We should have spent the whole first season learning about the dynamics of hell, exploring what the deal is with the overlords, even a monster-of-the-week type plot with demons showing up to the hotel and the cast evaluating if they want to redeem themselves or if they're just there to creep on Angel. Everything in episode 5 and 6 should have been season 2. Mid to late season 2 at that. I think the episodes themselves were fine, they just should have come later in the show.

This isn't even going into my issues with the first episode and how the pilot relates to it, and the choice to recast everyone.

I wanted to like this show. When the pilots initially dropped, I thought Hazbin had a lot of promise, and I was really looking forward to it. The first 4 episodes made me cautiously optimistic about the show's chances. But episode 5 and 6 really just shot that in the foot for me.

There's so much promise here that's just... being squandered. And I can't for the life of me understand why.