#it’s not like im 22 or anything
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Hilarious
people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now
#No#I can't be old already#Not no not yet#I don't want to remember that I have a job rn#Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck#it’s not like im 22 or anything#call me out#im fine#screaming crying throwing up about it#i feel 12#Don't drag me to work today 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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#fruits basket#furuba#tohru honda#yuki sohma#my art#rats#hello! it has been a long time!! i am so sorry!!! \;O;;/#a lot of things happened including that i got a job so now i am considered slightly more of an adult (not that this determines adulthood)#and i never ended up watching season 2 and 3...#but now i have to bc there are spoilers everywhere when i try to look anything up about the series!!#i did a full reread of the manga recently and im sobbing bc i understood the later parts a lot more than i did when i was younger..#i feel like i understand more about it every time i reread it as i get older#when i was younger i definitely gravitated towards rereading parts with my favorite characters over and over#i also recently managed to find a tokyopop vol. 22 and 23 so i completed my collection!! \;;-;;/ (i should have done this earlier..)#i am so happy people liked the zine picture! thank you so much for the kind tags!! ;;w;; i see them and they make me so happy!!! \>////</#i hope everyone is doing well!!!
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they should've been at the club(infertility treatment centers)
#like guys. be real with me. how many options did you even try before turning to dark magic#nothing about the situation called for all that😭#in my mind they're like 22 and 25 here which makes it all even funnier#guys please just adopt a dog or something😭#nothing about either of you screams ready for parenthood#im so happy adrien agreste exists but the circumstances of his birth are so ridiculous#there is so much gabe and emilie couldve done besides this. they could have done anything#honestly knowing them(<-girl who believes she knows them) im not even convinced the infertility treatment wasnt working#I think they just both were so allured by the concept of a magic baby#they were like six months in and hadn't gotten pregnant yet and were like. well. I guess we're out of options! dark magic it is!#and made it everyone else's problem forever#these two wanted to be doomed by the narrative SO bad#honestly though being a 22 year old girl I kind of yet it. sometimes I see a cute baby and want one so bad maybe I too would use dark magic#maybe emilie agreste was just a girl.#anyway. sorry adrien that your parents were Like This but it is so so funny#anna rambles#ml#gabriel agreste#emilie agreste
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one of the things about having an unstable parent is that it can so easily ruin your future. you want to get out, but getting out takes having agency. it takes the resume and the grades and the stellar community service history.
but you have to choose your battles. you know if you sign up for an after-school activity, it'll be okay for a while, so long as the activity is parent-approved and god-fearing. over time, like all things, it will become an argument (i can't keep carting your ass to these things) or a weapon (talk to me like that again, see if you get to go to practice). sometimes, if you love the thing, it's worth it. but you also know better than to love something: that's how they get you. if you ever actually want something, it will always be the center of their attention. they will never stop threatening you with it. telling you of course i'm a good parent, i came to all of those stupid events.
you learn to balance yourself perfectly. you can either have a social life or you can have hobbies. both of these things will be under constant scrutiny. you spend too much time with her, you should be at home with family is equally paired with you're acting like this because you're addicted to what's on that goddamn screen. you cannot ever actually win, so everything falls within a barter system that you calculate before entering: do you want to learn how to drive? if so, you'll need to give up asking for a new laptop, even though yours died. maybe you can work on a computer at the library. of course, that would mean you'd be allowed to go to the library, which would mean something else has to bleed. nothing ever actually comes free.
and that bitter, horrible irony: you could be literally following their orders and it still isn't pretty. they tell you to get a job; they hate that your job keeps you late and gives you access to actual money. they tell you to do better in school; they say no child of mine needs a tutor. they want you to stop being so morose, don't you know there are people who are really suffering - but they revile the idea you might actually need therapy.
you didn't survive that fall the way other people would. you've seen other people scramble and get their way out, however they could. maybe you were made too-soft: the answer didn't come to you easily. it wasn't quick. it was brutal and nasty. some people even asked you why didn't you just work hard and escape during school? and you felt your head spinning. why didn't you? (they control your financial aid. they control your loan status. they love having that kind of thing). maybe in another life you got diagnosed sooner and got the meds you needed to actually focus and got attention from the right teachers who helped you clear hurdles to get up out of here - but for now? here?
the effort of trying. the effort of not-dying. that kind of effort was absolutely agonizing.
#writeblr#btw i got out#even though i felt this way#i was undiagnosed and was in a particularly fucked up situation#(it's complicated lol)#i had no money and no way out#no car no license . i still had a curfew at 22 years old#and still. i got out.#you can get out too.#i wasn't allowed to literally do anything after school we were pretty much only allowed 1 hobby#and STILL i got out.#it wasn't bc i was particularly smart or capable or clever. it's that 1. i got lucky & 2.#i knew there had to be The Rest of The World#and I wanted to at least VAGUELY get to the Rest of the World before i gave up trying#sometimes it's the spite that gets u thru it. that sense - fuck u#FUCK YOU ACTUALLY.#im gonna make my own life u stupid bitch. since u seem so convinced i could never REALLY do it.#whenever ppl are like <3 just cut out ur parents <3 im like <3 have u never been poor lol <3#<3 i needed them to sign my loans <3#<3 bestie not every person who is struggling is going to be able to make the grades and hero status to get a free ride.#and guess what baby!! we still deserve to get out and have a good life.
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Do you have anything you've been thinking on but just haven't made a post about it yet? Also I'm really enjoying your fic!
I have a few things but it's likely mostly headcanons that I consider somewhat disconnected from my analysis.
Curly's parents had him old, only child, died shortly after he graduated and got the pony express position. It was the last big thing they saw him do which is a reason he stayed for so long.
Doesn't admit how much their death affected him
Jimmy has a largish family. One of the cases of too many kids to keep tract of, parent never really noticed any of them nor their behaviors
Anya lived in a lot of houses growing up, regular supportive family that just struggled to support themselves.
Became a nurse largely to avoid their financial struggles but mostly because she felt too many people weren't being cared for and advocated for in the world properly
Swansea likes high top sneakers most. Likes how snug they fit and how they shield his ankles at work
Curly has a bit of a caffeine problem since he can’t sleep. Can occasionally be found wandering the ship at “night” when he had some too late or just couldn’t sleep.
Daisuke knows a little about a lot of things. Starts conversations with “did you know” a lot but please don’t ask him deeper questions
Curly has known Jimmy longer but has worked with Anya and Swansea longer, met them during his middle years, met Jimmy shortly before college.
Swansea rents a house, Daisuke’s family lives in a big nice apartment, Curly has a condo, Anya live in a small one bedroom apartment and Jimmy has a studio.
Curly's home is very disconcerting. It's too normal to a like uncanny degree.
Anya is ambidextrous but prefers her left.
Anya and Curly are both not native English speakers so occasionally they forget words and bond over the mutual mocking they get from the rest of the crew. Daisuke knows some Japanese but is still learning, never picked it up as a kid
Only Swansea and Daisuke know how to drive, Earth in my mind is very post capitalist so only older people and like the extremely wealthy can afford cars.
It's also like walkable just due to how many businesses are in your face. Probably strict living vs shopping districts
I have more but the way that I headcanon about them is like too long.
#im still trying to figure out voiceclaims like I think Curly is the most generic lost his accent his accent like swedish or eastern european#guy cause he was raised by old immigrants and anya never had a thick accent but she talks with the cadence of one shes like slavic and east#asian to me. Swansea at most is like irish or italian but just an old white guy and Jimmy just has a bit of olivish skin like hes just whit#i think people should make them all weirder too like I think Anya loves showing the fucked up diagrams and pictures from premed and everyon#has to nod and act super supportive and not horrified cause Anya thats a guy with his leg broken in seven places it is not facinating to th#rest of the crew but she loves it cause fyi to go to med school you have to pass pre-med she has a BA if not a BS in nursing or bio atleast#Swansea randomly talks about shoe politics and its like hes talking about regular politics. Curly doesn't sleep walk but he pauses at weird#times or places and will just stand leave and not tell anyone anything cause even he forgot#Jimmy is himself ig and Daisuke always has some media drama they are too old for to get invested in and teach them about youth slang Anya#kinda gets it#also i think people make Curly and Jimmy way too old? Like In my mind Curly is sorta his late 20s- early 30s like he's in the settling#part of his life hence the fear about settling here anya is likel mid 20s to 30 cause she at least finished college we dont have the years#of how long shes been working and maybe Jimmy is just a bit older and feels weird envy about missing that introspection Curly is having.#Daisuke is like 19-22 in my mind like hes an adult but a kid by their standards#like Curly was recruited and its much easier to get younger people plus getting someone young is a good investment like they either got him#right after school and its like all he's known and it scares him#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#ask#anon
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You can tell Angel has daddy issues because he is currently crushing on a depressed drunk 70 year old man
#usually im not a fan of age difference ships but Angel is 31 so he's not dumb and him and Husk are around the same age#like say Husk died in 1975 that means that in their life Husk is only 7 years older than him#hot take but idk if i ship cherrisnake bcuz Cherri is like 22 while Pent is around 40#idk just feels weird#maybe he's younger in the official series but until anything is said im going with what Fautisse said#hazbin hotel#huskerdust#angel dust#hazbin hotel angel dust#angel dust hazbin hotel#husk#husk hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel husk#casinohearts
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#girlhood!!!!! girlhood amirite???!#feel free to reblog but unrelated tags ahead:#unrelated vent tags but like i cannot explain the acid trip of being in my international law class#and mentioning anything about palestine and that fucking CRACKHEAD bitch !!!everytime!!! turns to me and says:#“as a white south african how do you feel about the treatment of white farmers” girl im gonna fucking kill you#this genuinely keeps unearthing a biblical anger in me. i mean my mother is just a wicked person but my dad really let me grow up#without a tradition. being without a tradition is about the most dreadful thing my dad ever did to me thanks you FUCK!#i cant reconcile my identity with anything. caught somewhere between the way that bitch knows how much i hate afrikaans#exclusively speaking to me in afrikaans and my dad who taught me nothing. okay then !!! anyway like obvi not thinking abt having kids at 22#but definitely sure now that im not having kids ever because this corrosive resentment rears its head in mundane moments#bc its always just under the surface#anyway wONT ANYONE THINK ABOUT THE POOR WHITE FARMERS!!!!!!!!!!#lol.
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we finally got canon ages for some of the redacted boys!!!
Samuel Collins- 29 *when turned* (technically 44 ig)
Vincent Solaire - 20 *when turned* (technically 43 ig)
Avior- Coalesced 36 years ago
Gavin- Coalesced 33 years ago
Aaron- 33 years old
David Shaw- 30 years old
Asher Talbot- 30 years old
Milo Greer- 30 years old
Lasko Moore- 29 years old
Elliot- 29 years old(???) (timeline just states he was adopted 29 years ago)
Huxley- 26
Caelum- Coalesced 24 years ago (caelum is still very much mentally a child tho. don’t be weird)
Damien- 24 years old
#ALSO A CANON LAST NAME FOR ASHER????#erik is releasing the full timeline to non patreon havers later but i think the ages are pretty broad enough to share ethically 😭😭#i’ll take this down tho to my notes tho if needed#asher is still def taking baabes last name tho#i read through the entire timeline i’m screaming#god the way that i realized that avior literally can’t be added to the timeline UNTIL THEY BOTH GET OUT#because time is frozen for them. so starlight probably was pulled into the hell with avior sometime during 2023#or around then. so it’s an event for the FUTURE#anyways i’m glad erik actyally made a good portion of them ‘grown men age’ instead of them all being like 23 or smth lmao#damien being one of the youngest of the DAMN squad has me CACKLING#lasko moore. an advisor aged 27 was terrified of 22 year old Damien im crying#i ain’t gonna say anything else about the timeline until erik fully releases it but i’m frothing#redacted asmr#redacted audio#asmr boyfriend#boyfriend asmr#redactedverse#redacted gavin#redacted david#asher#redacted asher#redacted aaron#redacted elliot#redacted milo#redacted avior#redacted caelum#redacted huxley#redacted damien#redacted vincent#redacted sam
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the book is done :D setting up a shop for it next week but i’ll start posting/open preorders in september!!
#hush catríona#im so proud. its my most ambitious work yet it has taken almost 3 months from idea to completion#a completed Piece of a book for the final product. i want it to radiate love for this boy. i love silver so much i do anything for him#no guarantees but im HOPING i’ll get enough preorders to do silver foil on the cover. i think itd be classy itd look nice#thats the current plan so we’ll see. but YEA ill finally post again after months of almost nothing#get ready for new art every day for like 22 days LMAO#ill be so curious to see which pieces are peoples favs. if any rarepair girlies feel fed. etc etc#im a woman of the people i make silver food for US!!!! like rest assured im always making shit for ME but the whole point in sharing is#for everyone to get to enjoy the treats my mind wanted to exist. and my brain hits the silver button every time. so silver fans get fed ^_^
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#PLEASE reblog lets get a size to contemplate#feel free to share them or idk tag how many#moi? um lets see 1 at age 5. 2 at age 8. 3 at age 22. 4 at age 26. thats just counting full on definitely about to die#im not counting the Wouldve died if X didnt turn lucky (but feel free to include anything u consider near death)#if u had a near death experience like idk vision like an out of body experience feel free to tag if ya feel like it
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im constantly brandishing my sword and thrusting my spear
#book 20#book 21#book 22#innuendo? sure why not. but that is what he be doing#anyways. i dont think im gonna get around to april fools this year#im on vacation with family and friends and i didnt prep anything nor did i have any idea of who to change to for the day#so like. unless that changes and people have a very specific desire of a person to see on here#or i am revealed the perfect april fools change to do here in a dream#i think it will just be. normal this year#favorite
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Epel would love the tattoo studio I'm in rn there's drawings of dragons everyone, skulls, everything is black– sounds right up his alley
#💙! mah rambles#also im here bc my mom's making another tattoo#im not making anything yet lol#i still need to discuss with another tattoo artist that i like about my cover up tatoo#...and tell my dad#even tho im 22
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because im curious
#vote and reblog 😠#my answer is mostly to jork it but sometimes it depends on the day#i have been reading so much smut the last few days (im on my period + kinktober + its all tumblr recommends)#but like so many smut fics read the exact same like they have the same exact beats the same actions the same everythings#like i cant read most of my smut fics bc i hate how they feel so copy pasted like i wish i put more effort into them#anyway i just wonder why they all seem so samey when like if im reading this to jork it its kind of repetitive#and if im reading this for the story ive already read this same exact thing tons of times#the real answer is smut is the only thing that gets any notes worth value so its easier for me to just write whatever smut yall want#instead of spending four months working on a masterpiece only to get like 22 likes and 1 reblog with no tags#but also like . i read the smuts . yeah a lot of them are very similar but i am reading them .#anyway im just curious + am working on smut fic so i want to know what readers think i suppose#obviously none of the things are bad like im not judging fic writers or asking for anything im just making observations like thats it#like im mostly judging myself plus i realize this is simply my experience and is not an overall truth yap yap yap#do i make sense. do u understand me.
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My review of Miraculous Ladybug S5 so far is that it has a lot of scenes that I like in theory, but in action just end up being very silly and way over dramatic
#that being said. i love them all the same#genuinely obsessed with this show#but man it handles everything in such an odd way#they always spend so much time talking about nothing for the first 75% of the episode#and then the last 25% hikes up the drama to 100 and its always so abrupt#'illusion' is an excellent example of this lol#that episode had such a strange and sudden tone shift#its bizarre that the episodes are 22 minutes long but still barely manage to say anything#this is all technically criticism but make no mistake. i wouldnt have it any other way#this is truly the peak of miraculous ladybug. this is what it should ALWAYS be#so far i dont think theres been an episode where ive been particularly BORED. theyve all got a little spice to them#which i appreciate#well. i kinda didnt like the first 2 episodes. those were just a lot of running around#but everything after that has been exactly what i wanted#tldr: the pacing is weird and i wouldnt change a thing#my notes document on this show is up to 8 pages. ive never had as many opinions on a show as I do this one#im a certified miraculous stan
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Ooooo you wanna give me a box of cookie sooo bad dont you you know you wanna
damn its like ive spent my life on this website or something
#happy birthday to me :)#not really planning on doing anything to celebrate lmao and yet birthday insomnia STILL snipes me right at 12 AM#stag#kitscribbles#I got me some tattoos!! They are so scrungly :3#they are my 1/3 sonas from when i was a little child trying to pick apart my personality freudian-style#like legit i was shocked to learn about the id ego and superego. that was wild. for a moment i was scared i reincarnated from that guy#god i hope not. guy was interesting but crazy#these guys dont really represent that anyway. they're just me :) picked apart into 3 in various ways that i can represent with color#Now part of me forever uwu#i can barely afford them but life is for living and im doing pretty alright#anyways. 22!! only 4 more years before the military isnt looking to enlist me anymore#*raises a can of ourple fanta* to a long future enriched by the little things. And a few really big things#i think ill redraw them later with more careful details
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in my quest to quell my pain ive only hurt myself worse. damned if i do damned if i dont.
#i need better coping mechanisms but it’s so easy to just turn to substances when you’ve never learned how to cope w your emotions#and physical pain. however a lot of it has been brought on by the substance abuse aka i did it to myself#so i probably deserve it#but i started with them in the first place to get rid of pain that was so overwhelming and constant#it feels like every time i do something to preserve myself im punished for it#and im so sick of it. i cant believe its gotten this bad#i drink to help the pain -> i get hungover and the pain is way worse -> i drink to stop that pain#and the worst part is it always works#realistically ive depended on substances for like a decade#i started drinking at 13 and fell into a rut of alcoholism at like 15/16#my mom was going thru a phase of alcoholism and roped me into it so bad if be woken up by her bringing me a drink at 9 am#and we’d drink till she passed out and i had to walk her to bed and cook for everyone and do all the chores#it went on for months one summer#then it was weed and i smoked every day from like 18-22#only thing thwt stopped me from drinking until i started again after both my parents died#i havent recovered since.#im still so traumatized and depressed that i looked for any method of relief#the dph phase was the worst. i think alc is even better than that lmfao it was horrible#once i got access to alc i stopped all that. wouldnt have if i hadnt had alc tho#it’s honestly been one addiction after the other for a decade#and my parents fueled so much of it#‘oh id rarher you drink under my eye than do it behind my back’#BRUH YOU WOULDNT LET ME GO ANYWHERE OR DO ANYTHING. HOW WOULD THWT HAVE HAPPENED#crazy how i was obsessed w drugs and shit by the time i was 10 and i remember thinking wow im gojna grow up to be an addict.#why am i so irreparably fucked up#idk whatever. like im not gonna drink abt it lmao.
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