#it’s name varied on my country lol

[minus20arts]

midnight craving

[hetaliahyperfix]

Hetalia Headcanons: Why Human Names Exist

Now, a popular theory of why nations have human names is that the nations use them when interacting with humans. My personal headcanon is the opposite: it is for each other.

One of the things I found while researching history is that nations often go through many different name changes. Just look at China. He went from Xia to Shang to Zhou to Qin to Han... ect. Imagine how hard that would be to keep track of?

India: "Hello, Qin. It is good to see you again!"

China: "Oh, I'm not Qin anymore, I'm Han."

India: "Wait, you've changed your name again?! How many civil wars are you going to have?"

This isn't even getting into the fact that different languages call countries different things. For example, the citizens of China do not call their nation "China," they call it "Zhōngguó." The name "China" is the English version of the native name Zhōngguó. As you can see, even if a nation's name remains the same, it can be totally different depending on the languages

So, I personally headcanon that human names are something nations can call each other that will always remain consistent, even through language barriers and even if the name of their nation changes.

China will always be Wang Yao (or Wong Yue), even when his nation is called Song or Zhou or Qin. If nations are talking to each other, and one doesn't know who "Zhōngguó" is, the other can just say, "I'm talking about Wang Yao. Zhōngguó is the new name he is going by now."

These human names are universal and, for the most part, don't go through nearly as dramatic of changes as their nation names when it comes to language variation. For example, for English speakers, the People's Republic is "China." To Chinese speakers, it is "Zhōngguó." Meanwhile, "Wang Yao" remains "Wang Yao" across the languages, it just varies in pronunciation between English, Mandarin, and Cantonese.

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that nations having human names is both a simplicity thing and a matter of convenience. A singular name that will never, or barely, change no matter how much time passes is very useful for immortals whose other names are constantly changing.

Of course, besides simplicities sake, I think there could be other reasons too.

For example, I think it could also be an exercise in autonomy. They can't control what their nation is called, but they sure can pick their human name.

They do this to pick human names that they think reflect who they believe they are, or perhaps because they simply think a name sounds cool and they want to be called it. Regardless, they get a choice in this name while they get no say in their nation one. This isn't to say they hate their nation names, most love them! But there is just something different about a name you chose for yourself.

You can see with China, for example, that his human name is actually very reflective of him. The first character in his name "王/Wang" meaning "king," and the three lines in it represent heaven, earth, and people, which represents the king's rule over China. The last character "耀/Yao" means "shining" or "glory," which feels like the type of name China would call himself. He wants to let everyone know he is heaven's gift to the world, lol.

Another reason they might have human names is that it makes them feel more... human.

They have a sort of twisted existence. They exist because of humans and their continued existence is entirely tied to humans, but they also can never really be connected to humans. It is canon that, if a nation spends too long with a human, their immortality will rub off on the human and drive them insane as the human mind can't comprehend immortality. This isn't even mentioning how short human lives are compared to them. See: Davie.

So, nations live in this limbo of existing because of their connection to humans but also never being able to truly connect with the very humans that make up their existence. Because of this, their use of a human name makes them feel artificially closer to humans, even when they know they aren't.

Now, do I think they would use human names all the time? Do I think it would be rare? How much would they use their human names compared to their nation ones?

This sounds like a cop-out, but I think it totally depends.

I believe it would totally depend on the culture and also the relationship between the two nations. In general though, I think that the closer nations are together, the more likely they are to use human names. Or, if the nation doesn't stress over the use of names as a sign of respect and are quite laid back, they might also be fine with anyone using their human name.

Also, culture plays a part. Americans, for example, are much more laid back about names than compared to East Asia. Ergo, I think America would be totally cool with people using his human name. Heck, he might even insist as proof he and that person are "buddies."

On the other hand, some nations might absolutely expect to be referred to as their nation name only. Yeah, they have a human name, but that is reserved only for the people most precious to them. If they are a conqueror, then they expect the conquered to refer to them with a nation name. They are a nation, dammit! Not some measly human, so don't use the measly human name. Use their great nation name, instead! They didn't become the greatest empire in history to not be referred to with the name of this great nation!

I know I have been using China as an example of why it is good to have human names, but I personally headcanon he was actually a pretty big stickler of making others refer to him as his nation name only, especially his vassal states. Yeah, knowing what to call him got confusing, so what? He is worth the effort.

(Though, I do think he relaxed on it as he got older, especially after the communist revolution.)

On the other hand, nations he saw as equals and/or was close to, he would allow them to use his human name. Like Ancient Rome, Russia, and India, for example.

One last thing I want to add is that I think the biggest reason nations all have human names is just plain, ol' peer pressure.

It sounds a bit silly but, I think when a bunch of nations started using human names, other nations saw this and thought, "Crap, everyone is getting a human name! Do I need one too? Will I fall behind if I don't adapt to this new trend?!"

Eventually, it got to the point where all nations had human names and all the nations that came after them just saw the universal usage of human names and assumed that they had to pick one, that it was just part of being a nation. Now, by modern times, very few nations even know there was a point where human names weren't universal. Having human names even got to the point where nations were bestowing these names on younger nations the way a human parent would name their child (like my headcanon of England giving America his name "Alfred" after Alfred the Great).

Honestly, this is a really long headcanon for something that probably isn't anything more than an easter egg in canon. But, tldr: human names make it easier for nations to speak with each other when their nation names are always changing.

Anyways, here's a fabulous China gif since I talked about him so much. Thanks for reading!

[dalekowrites]

What would your favourite choice of the games interactive stories be? Would you have a favourite type? Romance, Fantasy etc. and did any of the inspire you with the ones you are currently writing? 😁

Oh boy! This is going to be a long answer, brace yourself lol

Let me start by saying that I have a degree in English literature (in fact, I'm going to do a PhD on it), so reading, in general, is one of the core activities of my life.

As for text adventures, even if not from Choice of Games Ltd., I'd like to mention a few inspirations: my passion first came from the original Choose Your Own Adventure series, and I still remember which numbers obsessed me as a child: Mountain Survival #28, The Dragons' Den #33, and more than any other, Space Patrol #22! (The latter may have also fueled my unhealthy obsession with Star Trek TOS, actually). For those unfamiliar with this fantastic book series, the genres of the three books I mentioned are, respectively, adventure, fantasy, and sci-fi. This gives you an idea of how varied my tastes are...

Later on, I discovered interactive fictions and text adventures. Dude, it was a dream come true. I started with Adventure ('76, never finished it, of course) and Zork ('79, never finished that either… of course. How damn hard were they?!). Then Mystery Mansion ('78), Castle Adventure ('82), and too many, many others. I'm a sucker for Sorcery! from inkle, and I deeply loved Magium (RIP Chris, you won't be forgotten). For my Italian-speaking friends, I also really enjoyed the Fra Tenebra e Abisso series (although its current status is unknown).

But back to CoG-related things. I've read a lot, and I'd probably be faster telling you what I didn't like! As you may have figured out by now, I don't have any particular genre preferences as long as a story is well-written, though horror-thriller stories usually grab my attention more easily.

Important note: I've read a lot of stories and, with a few exceptions, I liked most of them. To avoid writing a too-long list, here are the published stories that really impressed me:

A Crown of Sorcery and Steel,

A Midsummer Night's Choice,

Blood for Poppies,

Blood Moon,

Broadway: 1849,

Choice of the Cat,

Choice of the Vampire,

Donor,

Doomsday on Demand (1 and 2),

Gilded Rails,

Golden Rose: Book One,

Jazz Age,

Lies Under Ice,

Life of a Mercenary,

Life of a Space Force Captain,

MetaHuman Inc.,

Noblesse Oblige,

Paradox Factor,

The Evertree Saga (all four books),

Rent-a-Vice,

Revolution Diabolique,

Siege of Treboulain,

Tally Ho,

The Daily Blackmail,

The Dragon and the Djinn,

The Fernweh Saga: Book One,

The Fog Knows Your Name,

The Gray Painter,

The Grim and I,

The Ghost and the Golem,

The Lost Heir,

The Midnight Saga: The Monster,

The Parenting Simulator,

The Play's the Thing,

The Soul Stone War (1 and 2),

The War for the West,

Tudor Intrigue,

Vampire Regent,

Vampire: The Masquerade (all of them),

Way Walkers: University (1 and 2),

Welcome to Moreytown,

Werewolves: Haven Raising,

Zombie Exodus,

Zombie Exodus: Safe Haven.

And now, onto works in progress! There aren’t that many because I barely have time to follow my own (heh…), so here, in alphabetical order, are the ones I'm following with the most interest:

Adoriel's Tears (@adoriels-tears-if),

A Father's Love (@kal-down),

Crown of Ashes and Flames (@coeluvr),

Dawn Chorus (@dawnchorus-if)

Disenchanted (@disenchantedif),

Dragon's Edged (@dragonedged-if),

Elysium (@elysiumcircusif),

Fallen Lights (@fallenlightsif),

For King and Country (@forkingandcountry-if),

From The Ashes We Rise (@kal-down),

Hubris (@hubris-the-if-game),

Kingdoms and Empires (@kingdoms-and-empires),

Return to Misty Cove (@fluorescent-if),

The Abyssal Song (@ri-writes-if),

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - An affair of the heart (@doriana-gray-games),

The Lonely Shore (@thelonelyshore-if),

The King's Hound (@the-kingshound),

The Reaper Watches Me (@thereaperwatchesme),

The Bureau (@thebureau),

The Unseelie (@theunseelieif),

Van Helsing (@vanhelsing-if),

When Life Gives You Lemons (@when-life-gives-you-lemons-if).

Okay, that was… a lot. As for direct inspirations, I don't have any direct ones, but I can say I felt like writing a post-apocalyptic story after reading Doomsday on Demand! Other than that, I guess the collection of narrative, text adventures, and interactive fiction I've read have led me to where I am now.

Damn, it took me hours to write this answer. I hope it's satisfying at least! Thanks for asking ☺

[surr3al1sm]

How I think different Danceverses say “Cotton candy”.

Now this probably seems like the most random post ever, and honestly it is. But one of my favourite things to learn about regarding linguistics is how different countries have wildly different words for the same thing (Cotton candy being one of the funnier ones), and sometimes I think a little too much about how the different danceverses work and what their cultural differences would be. So this is a result of that.

Dancity: ‘Cotton candy’, just the basic one lol. I feel like Dancity would use cotton candy because I think Dancity’s culture would be comparable to the American culture we all know that is protrayed in popular media. So therefore I feel like they would use the same name.

Westerra: ‘Sugar cotton’, loosely based on the german ‘Zuckerwatte’. Now I know that Westerra is heavily based on like the wild west and western culture (and thus has nothing to do with German culture), but I feel like they wouldn’t use cotton candy, so I based it off a similar yet different play on the same words. It was important for me to have the ‘cotton’ part since I feel it fits with the whole western theme.

Carnavallium: ‘Spun sugar’, this one I’ve seen in all sorts of different languages so I don’t really know which one sparked the idea I just feel like they would call it what it is lol. Another fun fact is that since Carnavallium is like carnaval and circus themed I feel like they would be the biggest enjoyers of cotton candy. :)

Winterhaven: ‘Daddy’s beard’, based on the french variant (not even going to try tho, I don’t speak french). Why did I chose this cursed naming? Santa.

Eternyx: ‘Sugar spider’ based on the dutch ‘suikerspin’. This is the one that sparked this whole idea lol. I feel like they just would. Its the spooky factor but also just straight to the point with the sugar part. A big contender was the name in Afrikaans ‘Spooks asem’ which literally translated means ‘Ghosts breath’ but I wanted to be a little self indulgent with this one.

Sun Horizon: ‘Sweet cotton’, based on the portuguese variant (not even going to try just like the french variant). I was going to go with the Spanish name at first but that would mean using the same name as Westerra and I feel like the two danceverses are too different for that. So I went with the Portuguese version instead lol.

Cyberfunk: ‘Sweet cloud’, I’m not sure where this one originated but I found it on google and thought it was fitting lol. I could see Clementine using sweet cloud.

Wackygroove: ‘Old Lady’s hair’, this one is seen in multiple languages as well. I choose it because it made me laugh. Thats all really :)

Melosia Realms: ‘Candy floss’, the British english variant but I feel like a lot of variations are used here since Melosia Realms is described to have varied cultures. So I’d imagine people would have different names depending on where they’re from.

Floworld: ‘Candy floss’, just like Melosia Realms. Feel like these two danceverses would be very close in (general) culture due to both of them being closely tied to the flow. I do feel like coaches from Floworld would say that its the ‘correct’ way to say it, just like the British do.

[sebastianmichaelisslander]

Any unpopular opinions/headcanons about shinigamis?

Lessgooo! I’d been waiting for this for a while!

Headcanons

• Not fully sure there’s a proper academy for Reapers, though that’s the case in a lot of fanon hcs and even the anime.

The Dispatch setup resembles a very typical one in the corporate world, though - newer Reapers are all assigned a mentor who they train under and who asses them for their capabilities in varying fields. According to this, they join a particular department and work under its head (e.g., collections, forensics, auditing, etc.).

• There are several different branches of the Dispatch spread out over major cities in England - and the same goes for branches in other countries. Headquarters will be either at the capital or in a major city (e.g, London).

• Though Reapers are all pretty much blind as bats without their glasses, younger ones would probably have it slightly better. Slightly.

• As for whether they would retain any memories of their past lives, it depends for me.

What would be worse than having memories of who or what was dear to them wiped to prevent them from straying would be remembering it all, but knowing they will not be able to return under any circumstances.

But as I’m uncertain about how to make sense of that, I’d say that I share my mutual @grimreaperauthority ‘s headcanon about their memories of their past lives being wiped and thus remaining mostly fuzzy. I’d say that’s the case, save for the day of their death or anything particularly defining which shaped or changed their beliefs, imho.

• Relationships between colleagues aren’t forbidden, but it’s expected that one adheres to decorum and keeps their liaisons under wraps. Especially if there’s a major power imbalance involved, because you’d be cooked.

Unpopular opinions

I’ll probably have several of you trying to break down my door with pitchforks and torches in hand, but here goes.

• I don’t see Eric as Scottish, lol.

I haven’t fully watched the musical so I don’t fully get where the whole headcanon about him came into being, but it’s not just that. I tried looking his last name up, and ‘Slingby’ isn’t even a real surname - closest thing is ‘Slingsby’, which is of English origin. ‘Knox’, however, is a Scottish surname, so make what you will of that. 😉 (Yes, I unapologetically write Ronnie as a Scotsman.)

• I do not ship Sascha with Ludger.

I always saw the former as a very young student figure of sorts to him, and not just because they appear rather young to me. I’ve never seen them as a couple given their interactions in the manga, and there’s also the fact that Sascha seems to be a literal teen.

Whilst Sascha’s age hasn’t been stated in canon and they could very well be an adult for all I know, which would be highly unlikely, them as a ship just isn’t for me. Ludger as their father/brother figure, though? That’s where it’s at.

• I’m mostly indifferent to Undertaker. I don’t know why, but I never paid him any special attention. Like, he do be kinda fit, but that’s about it.

• I don’t vibe with the fanon interpretation of Ronald as a player or fuckboy - and not only because I headcanon him as on the asexual spectrum. Even in the manga, he appears to be (quite a major) flirt at most - which can also be backed up by how he disappears.

• If Othello could talk to women, he’d be like a more toned-down Ronald when he’s interacting with them, but shyer too. But he can’t, lmao - he’s forgotten how to. Takes personal space and being respectful to them seriously, though.

Bi Othello is my fav headcanon for him. I can definitely see him with a woman as well as a man. And though he’s often absorbed in his work or Dispatch shenanigans and doesn’t think about girls (or guys) all that much, he definitely likes a pretty one as much as the next man.

• I don’t see William as a prick with all the emotional range of a teaspoon and little empathy whatsoever. Is he too harsh on himself and his subordinates? Yes. Can he be an asshole at times? Also yes.

But is he a terrible person with no redeeming qualities whatsoever and a rock in his chest where a heart would otherwise beat? No.

He seems like he’d be an overthinker and feel extremely strongly towards people and ideas both, but tries to suppress this as he thinks that he needs to. Not only to remain impartial for the sake of professionalism, but also because how men in general are socialised plus his tendency to withdraw when he’s overwhelmed mean it’s difficult to confront his emotions.

• I do not see Ludger as German William, but rather someone who’s similar to him yet incredibly different in a lot of ways. William is pensive, almost overly fastidious, and coldly professional. Meanwhile, Ludger is reserved, a tad rough around the edges, and focused - but he’s surprisingly patient and better with conflict than Will.

If I have more, that’ll call for another post!

[boydykedevo]

Looking into the etymology of some Ethersea character’s names for fun and. I’m just gonna share my findings real quick cuz I think its cool lol (sources used are mostly wikipedia and behindthename. I could be wrong about some of this idk)

Oksana/Oxana is a Ukrainian name. It derives from either the Greek name Xenia, meaning “hospitality” or the word Xenos, meaning “stranger”. (Its also spelled “Aksana”!)

Griffin says “Boyar” is a German word for the child of a baron when he names Hermine, but its actually an Eastern European aristocratic term (apparently it WAS used by Baltic Germans too? But as far as I can tell not IN Germany) Hermine IS German though, its the feminine version of Herman, which means “army man”.

Tolliver is an anglicized variant of Taliaferro, which comes from Tagliaferro, an Italian surname meaning “iron cutter”. The spelling Taliaferro probably came from a transcription error. I was very surprised to find out its unrelated to Oliver lol

Declan is an Irish name. The Wikipedia article said it is “believed to mean” either “man of prayer” or “full of goodness” but there was no citation so idk.

Damian is used in a lot of countries with a lot of variations, but it’s ultimately from the Greek name Damianos, meaning “(I) conquer/tame/overcome”. Also the name of the Antichrist in The Omen, which I can’t help but feel might be related to why Travis picked it.

Cern is a German surname meaning “carrier” (some sort of connection to Declan being the Ballaster of Transit? Idk that might be a stretch)

Phineas is the anglicized form of Phinehas, a priest in the Hebrew Bible. The spelling Finneas might be influenced by Irish names containing the element “Finn”. Cawl was hard to find a good source on, but it’s the name of a Welsh soup, and it might be related to the Scottish surname Cowl or the Gaelic surname Cawley? Definitely seems Gaelic, in any case.

Aloysius is a Latinized form of Aloys, which is related to the name Louis. In the US, it’s mostly used by Roman Catholics. As far as I can tell Supreme isn’t actually used as a surname, but it comes from the Latin suprēmus.

Ravi is a Hindi name meaning “sun”. Montrell is Spanish or Italian (sources vary) and ultimately derives from the Latin word “monte”, meaning mountain.

Tessellation is a word meaning a tiling pattern with no gaps, which I think fits pretty well with the concept of brinarr

Guthrie is a surname that comes from the Gaelic word “gaothair”, meaning “windy place”.

Orlean comes from the French place name Orleans, which is related to the Roman family name Aurelius, meaning “golden, gilded.” The spelling Orlene is a French girl’s name meaning “golden” as well.

Aaaand I think thats all the ones I was gonna do thanks for bearing with me if you read this far o7

[indieyuugure]

Hi indie!

First I wanna tell a good news to you！Your comics have received many praises in my country！Fans here just like,super crazy，keep screaming,can't wait for the updates LoL.Thank you again for authorizing me to translate them!

Next, It's my own question,the treatment effect that Leo gave Mikey exceeded my expectations,which cured his burns and enabled him to carry 2012!Leo.I mean,In original series the treatment magic(I forget its name）was not as good as that...Is it because Leo's ninpo enhances its power？

Omg! I’m so glad people are liking it! *^v^* thank you again so much for translating it for me and making it available to people in your country! You’re awesome! :D

So Healing Hands(that’s the name of the healing magic) is…not exactly explained very well in the the 2012 tv show. It only shows up in one episode, “The Deadly Venom” (ep18 s3) and it’s power varies a lot in intensity.

The first time it’s seen, Splinter uses it on his broken leg, although it would seem all it does is numb the pain. He teaches Healing Hands to Leo and that’s the one he uses throughout the episode. However there are two known mantras. “Healing Hands” and “The Venom Mantra” Leo only learns Healing Hands until the last 5 minutes of the episode where he has to help Splinter heal Casey and his brothers who got hit with Karai’s venom.

So it’s never explained why exactly when Splinter uses Healing Hands, it barely does anything, whereas when Leo uses it, it’s able to counter an extremely toxic venom and heal snake bite wounds in seconds. Now the obvious reason is because plot, but that’s not very helpful for making a concrete canon logic. So I decided it was linked to how much energy you give it! Splinter didn’t want to feel exhausted after cause he wanted to keep sparingly with his son, so he gave it just enough to make it stop hurting, Leo was fine giving up every last bit of energy, cause I mean if it didn’t work he, his brother and Casey were gonna die, so he gave it everything.

In my comic I show it exactly that way. I imagine it works by condensing energy into the palms of your hands and directing it onto wounds to heal them. I never really thought to connect it to ninpo, but one thing I have had in mind with the Rise universe is that magic is easier to access and wield; The laws of the universe aren’t fighting against you so it’s much easier to use magic there. Though I guess you could throw a wrench in that and say that “well when Leo used healing hands on Mikey, they were in the 2012 universe.” Yes that is true, but it also took everything he had to heal him and almost immediately passed out afterwards. I suppose you could also say that learning to use his ninpo has taught him how to use magic easier, essentially making Healing hands more efficient/effective.

But in the end I really don’t know. TMNT 2012, while it has it’s shining moments, it’s also riddled with plot holes, canon inconsistencies and random details that are only relevant for one episode. Again, idk I’m just trying to make sense of this stuff here lol XD

Good question! :]

PS. I’m realizing now that the way I depicted “Healing Hands” is suspiciously similar to Healing Water in ATLA :\ whoops. Lol

[crowandmoonwriting]

Crow's Worldbuilding Process 🐦‍⬛

(This post will probably be very long lol)

The first thing I do is an overall conception of the world. This sounds like a big thing, but it’s really just figuring out what kind of setting it will be in the broadest terms. Will it be a high fantasy world with a Tolkienian setting? Will it be a sci-fi world filled with aliens and cyborgs? Will it be a steampunk world with airships and glittering clockwork cities?

Once I’ve made that decision, I come up with a name to fit that conception. This is important for a few reasons. It gives me a base for a language, maybe. Are there multiple names for the planet, or just one? I also try to convey the mood of the world through the name, through the sound of it. Flowing syllables for a fantasy world for example, sharper consonants for a sci-fi world for example. But one of the main reasons is that I need something to name my folders and worldbuilding documents lol.

Once I have the name, I do a preliminary map sketch. This is soooo important for me, especially if I don’t have a story seed yet. If I do have a story seed, I do this too, but I focus on one country pretty quickly after the world map sketch.

I keep the sketch digital, in a multi-layer format, so I can edit it quickly and overlay different maps for climate, natural features, political boundaries, etc. But I don’t worry about those for now. I just get a few landforms (if the planet has landforms!) down, and come up with scale. I keep scale pretty loosey-goosey, as I am woefully deficient in all forms of math. I usually look at it in terms of how big it is in terms of Earth—bigger or smaller, by however many times.

Then I start working on a few things at once, organically, going from here to there. I come up with region names, climates, major natural features like large mountain ranges, rivers, lakes, etc. If I have a story seed, I focus on one or two countries, whatever will be most relevant to the story, and just kind of rough out everything else.

From here, story seed or not, I dive into a country or particular region. This is where it gets more intense lol, and it tends to vary immensely. Sometimes I start with the culture, sometimes the resources, sometimes the government. When I start with any of them, they inform the others, so it flows from there.

For example, when I was just starting to build a snowy northern country (like Merovyn, from my main fantasy world), I looked at what weather and resources might be found there, and how it might shape the culture of the people. The people and animals there are hardy, built to withstand immense cold and relative scarcity of food supply. So what does grow up there? Here I did some real-world research, looking at countries in our world with similar climates and seeing what resources exist there. This can be used to build communities, which form around areas where resources can be harvested. Fishing villages, mining towns, etc. So I went back to the country map and added dots here and there for villages, towns, cities, how they reached each other (roads, riverways, etc), and how resources move through the country. It’s a fairly quick way to develop a base for the economy.

This is just one way to start up a new world, and from here it gets very complicated lol. Culture-building is so much more in-depth, and I do a lot of real-world research here too. Resources can affect culture immensely, but also vice-versa. I discuss a bit more about food in particular here, and how that can inform worldbuilding. But it doesn’t have to be all geography and research! I like making aesthetic boards, on Pinterest usually, where I compile images of the countryside, the people, their clothing, or gather research links and even recipes. It’s very important for me to develop a list of sensory experiences related to a setting. Merovyn for example is biting cold, the kind of cold that sinks through your skin to make your very bones ache. It smells of pine and cherry mead; it sounds like winter wind, like crackling fire, like a held breath. The skies are cool grey, pale blue, pure white, never a rich blue. Slowly, the setting starts to come alive. It’s much easier to write about when I have a good idea of the kind of sensory experiences my characters will have.

So that’s it! At least, that’s it for now lol. This post is getting very long.

If there’s a desire for it, I can do a part two, where I go more in-depth about creating specific cultures, languages, governments, etc. for particular countries.

I hope you found this useful, or at least fun to read! Happy Worldbuilding Wednesday!

[chemicallyyourss]

I’ve come to a possible theory/conclusion

Not to add to the discourse about Cinder’s race/ethnicity, especially since it sort of became a toxic topic for some, but I think her ethnicity is partly Cambodian.

I looked into the names, and I didn’t look too deeply into Levana other than seeing that there were some roots in Greek, but Channary is primarily a Cambodian name that means “Full Moon,” mentioned specifically to be primarily of the Khmer women. I wouldn’t be surprised if anyone already found this out really. Cambodia is an asian country and their women are usually tanner skinned asian women. Matches Cinder and Channary’s descriptions of being darker tanned asians. It’s mentioned that Cinder’s father is unknown so her entire background isn’t fully known, so there’s a high chance she’s mixed of some sort, but Channary being a common Cambodian Khmer name gives a strong lead.

Looking a little more into it, both names Levana and Selene are of Greek origins, so I’m wondering if Cinder is of Cambodian and Greek descent on her mothers side, and unknown on her fathers side.

It’s mentioned that Channary is deeply tanned (so is Cinder) and Levana is pale, but Levana’s entirely true appearance may be somewhat unknown as she covers it so much with glamour and has changed it so much over the years even, and she was also disfigured from fire burns as a child which can deeply change your appearance obviously. Not to do a tap out, but mixed race (and singular race people like fully white, black, asian, etc.) can vary in skin tone and appearance (…..again, obviously) and can even vary wildly from their parents and siblings. I know a pair of mixed fraternal twins, both pale white, one with light blonde hair and one with red hair lol. I don’t really assume Marissa was being ignorant with her writing here- most writers probably would agree we usually do a ton of research before writing a character or story lol. But I wanted to put my two cents in because realizing all of this really makes sense.

Anyone else think this may make sense or have anything to add?

[felinelord-bowbeforemepeasant]

Something that been on my mind

Warning: I'm not an analyst (theorist) or anything and english is not my first language so there might be some grammar mistakes

Is the third eyes in chapter 109 is indicate about something

Cause when dazai get shot in the middle of his head the wound in the middle kind of resemble a third eyes

And then we switch to scene where fukuchi is opening the one order, it also has a third eyes

Do you think it kinda weird that after dazai getting shot in the head we switched to one order form revealed

And it also being hint in volume 22 too

Here a close up if you didn't notice it

See if you look at the eyes in the middle and count dazai and fyodor eyes too It will made a third eyes

It might be hinting about what the one order will be like but I think there will be more than that

The one order I quite understand how it work that it can control somebody to do something (am I describing it ability right I'm just writing this based on what I remember lol)

For dazai well when I thought about it my mind just came up with this image

But why, why my mind just came up with this image, so I search the meaning of third eyes and the meaning of angel (Credit to wiki also I don't know if anything it say it's accurate so if there anything wrong sorry)

Here the meaning of third eyes:

The third eye (also called the mind's eye or inner eye) is a mystical invisible eye, usually depicted as located on the forehead, which provides perception beyond ordinary sight. In Hinduism, the third eye refers to the ajna (or brow) chakra. In both Hinduism and Buddhism, the third eye is said to be located around the middle of the forehead, slightly above the junction of the eyebrows, representing the enlightenment one achieves through meditation

The third eye refers to the gate that leads to the inner realms and spaces of higher consciousness. In spirituality, the third eye often symbolizes a state of enlightenment. The third eye is often associated with religious visions, clairvoyance, the ability to observe chakras and auras, precognition, and out-of-body experiences.

Here is the meaning of angel (actually there are more but it just about what angel mean in different country so I just put in the general one, you can go on wiki to search if you like):

In various theistic religious traditions, an angel is a supernatural spiritual being who serves God.

Abrahamic religions often depict angels as benevolent celestial intermediaries between God (or Heaven) and humanity. Other roles include protectors and guides for humans, such as guardian angels, and servants of God. Abrahamic religions describe angelic hierarchies, which vary by religion and sect. Some angels have specific names (such as Gabriel or Michael) or titles (such as seraph or archangel). Those expelled from Heaven are called fallen angels, distinct from the heavenly host.

Angels in art are usually shaped like humans of extraordinary beauty, though this is not always the case—sometimes, they can be portrayed in a frightening, inhuman manner. They are often identified in Christian artwork with bird wings, halos, and divine light.

And uh I did found out some similarities

"The third eye refers to the gate that leads to the inner realms and spaces of higher consciousness."

"Abrahamic religions often depict angels as benevolent celestial intermediaries between God (or Heaven) and humanity."

The third eyes are like a gate to inner realms while angel are like an intermediaries between God or heaven in humanity aren't they like kinda work the same

Does that mean that there are a third-party involve or this is a hint for something big is gonna happen

Now who is the angel that dazai mention, I did see someone already did an analysis on this and say it ango

Here the link

But I want to look more deeper into this and I found this post

They are discussing about are atsushi and dazai connected in a psychic way that make me think "interesting"

Also are there any mention of "an angel" before

The answer is yes

(Credit for burahai translation)

(Credit for the dead apple movie cause I can't find the manga part)

The angel that shibusawa and dazai say here is atsushi and with the theory that atsushi and dazai is connected in psychic way, it gonna be quite a surprise when if it true

And dazai is also holding atsushi as a trump card in the volume 22 cover too

But what or who are connecting them, some say it the book some say it someone else that hasn't been revealed yet

So in conclusion there are three option of who is the angel that dazai is talking about :

1. Ango

2.Atsushi

3.some unknown person that hasn't been revealed yet

(There are a post say that the time manipulation ability thief is the angel but it just doesn't make sense to me sorry)

Also I was also focusing on this

"Angels in art are usually shaped like humans of extraordinary beauty, though this is not always the case—sometimes, they can be portrayed in a frightening, inhuman manner"

The part where they say angel can be portrayed in a frightening, inhuman manner make think of the one order cause of it design

But it also can describe this person here

(I noticed this because I was scrolling through some bsd analysis and found this

You can check if you like, it an in-depth analysis for bsd official Twitter layout and they mention this person too)

And i want you to focus on the T/N part

Is this some clue about who he could be, to be honest I don't know cause I'm not an expert about famous author(writer) in real life but I think so

It also say that angel usually shaped like human so how about we combine it with "frightening, inhuman manner" then we get something quite creepy indeed

And this person was shrouded in complete darkness and also using imperfect Japanese which is also kind of creepy if you think about it

I don't know if it gonna be right when there is a revealed though I just remember about this guy when I was going through some bsd analysis (but this is just a bsd theory so there gonna be some right or wrong)

I know that there something else there but I can't explain it, something that tick me off

Or maybe that there is somehow someway that dazai is connected to the one order

Also dazai actually kinda tampered with the one order when fukuchi received it so maybe he did tampered with something else too

(I don't know if the tampering thing is correct, it just the description part about angel just tick me off about something but I can't think of it.)

Well I guess that is all, you can discuss about this if you want, this thing it just in my mind for a while and I just want to get it out

Thank you for reading and hope you have a nice day

[fanatical4creation]

🌈The world of✨️

✨️Dreamfate🌈

Is time to answer one of my favorite questions when it comes to writing a show; WHERE?!?!?

Where does the characters live, where do they go to rest and sleep and yadda yadda yadda, y'know what, while doing this i've discovered i actually like drawing backgrounds, it's hard but seeing the result is so fun.

This is the Happy vile or Happy Condominium, i haven't come up with a good name yet, i'm not that good at names, so let's say the sign is just temporally until i actually come up with a good name, anyway...

This is the map, i'm not an architect so it looks horrible lol, that big place with studios are the studio from dreamtale, they make programs to a TV channel i haven't thought of a name yet, it's made for brain washing people, that's Hope's whole thing;

Entertainment programs, films, series, short films, newspapers and all types of media to attract all types of people to Dreamtale to get their happily ever after.

I would add some more things, but i don't actually know what to add bc, as i said, i'm not an fucking architect.

About the main building, i loved how it turned out, the main idea was that each floor would be a color, and i didn't know how the colors would work and i'm happy that i figured it out. With the main color being yellow bc yellow means mainly Hopeful, while the others are the AUs he affected.

Yes, Murder Dust being the yellow color at the same time as Hopeful does means something (Do you like the name i came up with? Murder Dust? Like- like pinkie pi-).

Oh yeah the tiny red circles are suppose to represent how big people would look, y'know for proportions.

Map of Dreamtale:

Every city comes from the tree that inhabits it. Well the rest is what you see, the only thing i would add is the outside of the circle, there would be farms and camps, people who just don't like the big medieval city, by the way, i have no idea if there were trains in the medieval era, but i don't care, trains are cool af.

Dreamtale isn't naturally yellow based, the colors would vary through the colors of The main Elements, y'know, Life, Death, Magic and Feelings, but since Hopeful overflowed everything's Yellow due to his aura, It got bigger and bigger as the positivity in people increased

Yes, i'm aware it looks like an fidget spinner.

Thank you if you read that, you must be very interested if you did... but i mean, VERY interested, i would not read all of that shit for nothing.

Unrelated note: I don't know if it is mother's day today bc i'm not from usa, in my country mother's day was yesterday, so, if it is actually mother's day in usa................ ignore it..

Dreamtale (c) JokuBlog

[rimouskis]

get to know me game (as tagged by @yippayappa [thank you!])

do you make your bed?

Every morning! It's one of those chores that once I got in the habit, I now cannot NOT make my bed. It's an essential part of the morning for me! Also perhaps I'm kind of a control freak about my space and having an unmade bed would drive me batty.

what's your job?

WELL I'm about to start a new job ahaha so my job is: new :) but honestly I've had a mildly interesting and unorthodox career path, and I've worked in kind of a lot of "industries" for someone my age. There have been some weird vaults that look peculiar on my resume until I explain them. Jack of all trades, master of none, perhaps?

if you could go back to school, would you?

If it was free? Sure! Yes! I think...

can you parallel park?

I mean, yes. Can I parallel park WELL? that... is up for debate.

do you think aliens are real?

Statistically speaking I think it would be very, very unlikely no other life exists in the universe. Of course that life could be, like, amoebas jiggling around on a rock somewhere. I don't really buy into the idea that intergalactic space travel has been conducted by an advanced alien species, but I think life of some sort MUST exist out there!

can you drive a manual car?

No. My dad tried to teach me with his old Honda accord and I gave up after a single lesson lol

guilty pleasure?

You're scrolling it, baby!

tattoos?

No because I'm a sensitive baby with commitment issues :)

favorite color?

green 4 eva, baby!

favorite type of music?

I recently impressed a new friend with my varied taste in music 😌 I literally listen to bits and pieces of everything. Top 40 pop, rap, hip hop, rock, country, classical, hyperpop, metal, folk, alt/indie, electronic, synth-pop, tons of 90s rock (thanks dad)........ I like a LOT of stuff. There is so much good music in the world!

I've been really enjoying the new charli xcx album. However, I think my heart belongs to rock. I know I've hawked this artist a lot in the last year, but in my defense I've seen him twice in the last six months and he's a hell of a performer. So go listen to Des Rocs:)

do you like puzzles?

Depends. Can I solve them? Then I like them. Are they notoriously difficult and annoying and I can't figure them out? Then I cast them into the depths hahaha

any phobias?

Dead bodies. Can't be near them. Every funeral I've been to has been a careful act of avoiding the casket. It's like... the only bone-deep "my body literally will not allow me to get closer" fear I have.

favorite childhood sport?

I was a softball girlie for the longest, but I also enjoyed dance a ton while I did it!!! I played soccer, tennis, volleyball, and gymnastics when I was younger though, haha. My parents just threw us at the local rec center all summer long.

do you talk to yourself?

Rarely. Usually only when I do something stupid and I just say my own name in an appalled tone, haha

tea or coffee?

neither:) one tastes like bitter beans and the other tastes like bitter leaves

first thing you wanted to be be when growing up?

I think a spy 😂 I was SO into the Alex Rider novels as a kid.

what movies do you adore?

The Princess Bride, Twilight, Robots (2005), and Top Gun: Maverick are some of my favorites!

Tagging @horkey @ticklefighthockey @yabagofmilfs @timbitshockey @goofingup @simmyfrobby @icedbatik @idontlikeem and... whoever else would like to partake!

[para-socialist]

hello i am so curious about your ocs :3c

HI DEN thank u so much for asking!! sorry it took so long to answer lol

when i say “my OCs” sometimes i am talking about guys i have written 50k words of content about and sometimes i am talking about guys who only exist in my head LMFAO

my oldest OC i still think about regularly was originally a killjoy oc based on billie joe armstrong. here is vintage art i made of him (circa 6th grade age 12)

but then i think i changed his personality and appearance so much and then also changed the lore of the world he’s in from the danger days universe so much he kinda just became his Own Guy. his name is Saint he’s a traumatized bisexual himbo 👍 he’s missing an eye and he has a cat 👍

i can’t see myself ever properly writing something about him - like, this is one of those things where it’s very much just something that lives in my head. i love the world building i’ve done though idk!! i just don’t know what medium i would ever want to tell this story in :(

but basically america is fractured into like, city states all with varying levels of dystopia and fascism, with what used to be california controlling most of the country. most of the cities are surrounded by walls with armed guards and no one can get in or out (with exceptions) and the areas between the cities are completely lawless and self governed and have various Dangers depending on what happened there during the war that fucked up the country.

there’s a spot in the mojave desert that’s basically a dumping ground for anyone california deems a threat to the government. they’re tortured for information (or publicly just to make an example of them), experimented on, and then left to die. saint is one of these people but he’s found in the desert by a girl named neon and they have fun chaotic bisexual adventures in the wasteland while they try to get to vegas

you can see why this is never being published it’s very derivative and me personally i think it’s obvious that the idea was originally conceived by me when i was 13 lol. fun to think about though

anyway i’m talking about this and not the actual novel i’m writing because this is so much more interesting. and i have not been doing much writing lately and i have completely changed the plot and focus of it within the last few months to the point where i’m just stressed when i think about it. and i think i need to just write a New Thing instead of trying to finish something i started 3 years ago.

but it’s following a guy trying to figure out why his famous folk musician ex fuckbuddy bought his childhood home and then burned it down with himself in it. he’s doing this by going around the country and trying to get the full story from people who were close to his ex. except a lot of them are dead or insane and hated this guy who is now dead and can’t defend himself.

i. i was going to end this here. but i found something i thought i forgot about.

my fucking 90s boy band OCs i made as a joke and then fell in love with

but i’ll put a read more because this requires SO MUCH EXPLAINING and i have a lot of pictures

how do i even start. so basically when i was like 17 i was planning on being a music journalist. i was going to major in communications at portland state university and then covid happened so i never went to college. i was planning on starting a music blog and i was like oh i need practice writing about music. what if i uh. what if i made a fake boy band and wrote a bunch of fake interviews and reviews about them???

so it was kind of a role playing thing with a bunch of friends but we weren’t role playing as though we were the characters. we were making album covers using sims. we were telling the entire story of this universe through like, fake interviews written with our characters and writing, i shit you not, entire wikipedia articles 10k+ words each about each of their albums and tours.

here is their lore from what i remember.

Chester Coleman (left): gay. outed circa 2004. guitarist. the only one who ended up sort of normal

Cliff Coleman (middle): lead singer. scientologist. homophobic but eventually reconnects with Chester. he ends up being assassinated i’m not sure why i think i just wanted to kill him

Clive Coleman: token emo. heroin addict? i think he dies too? leaves the band to become an actor and make weird avant garde films that are all a metaphor for him being nonbinary. he has twins whose nicknames are Reef and Beef????????? you can see why i eventually had to stop doing this it went off the rails. however i have two screenshots of him from the sims that i think are the best screenshots i’ve ever taken

also he played drums he was actually soooo cute can you see i like making tortured musicians.

i never actually played the sims normally with them btw i spent HOURS on all these screenshots though. i also made animations so i could make music videos and fancams. what a strange period of my life. how could anyone have known i was mentally ill

[liamlawsonlesbian]

tagged by @albonoooo, thank you, emy <33

what colour are your eyes?: brown (I used to say "chocolate brown" as a child)

tell me about your pets/your dream pet: my dog growing up was a shih tzu named merry (short for meriadoc, my family is incredibly nerdy) and he was the best boy in the world and thought he was a human. I would loooove a dog but the more realistic goal for my lifestyle atm is probably a rabbit

share some interesting fact about yourself: when I was 16 I was so hyperfixated on checking on certain actors/projects on imdb that when we had to do a challenge to be "closer to nature" for a creative writing project in 11th grade English, I wrote about trying to see how long I could give up imdb for (it was four days). My english teacher gave me an A but his only comment was a script for a conversation between me and Thoreau that ended w Thoreau saying "I'm going back to the woods"

what was the first fandom you were a part of?: hmmmm I was really intense about my interests from a very young age, but the first time I was part of an internet fandom in a participatory way was 1D

do you have any phobias?: I have an anxiety disorder but very few specific fears, weirdly

are you a picky eater? if so, what food can't you stand?: nope! I will try most things and have a pretty varied palate. I used to be a pretty snobby eater (which is NOT the same thing imo) but I've mostly gotten over that

do you eat the burger and fries at the same time or one after another?: usually mostly one after another, fries first, but I wouldn't say I'm strict about it

winter or summer: hmmmm see I really hate being overheated and don't mind being cold, so winter in a place where there are real seasons. but I grew up in a place where it's basically between 50F and 70F all year, so there I prefer summer bc I hate when it gets dark early

favourite fanfiction tropes: I love friends to lovers, I also love enemies to lovers.... basically I love any fic in which one character realizes they've been in love with a person they've been thinking about too much this whole time

are you studying or working? what do you study/is your job?: I'm a lawyer! I work for a law firm that does city attorney work for cities

what is the last country you visited: the netherlands, last february!! I went to amsterdam on a solo trip and I loved it so much

what country would you want to move to after retiring?: I think it really depends how my life turns out! but I would love to live in New Zealand at some point

who was your first crush?: this feels....difficult to answer in a concrete way bc of comphet lol but I'll say Hailee Steinfeld in True Grit

how did you get into f1 fandom?: @oscarpiastriwdc told me that I had to read the object in mirror series by @drivestraight at the beginning of May 2023 and then it was the Monaco gp and I decided to watch and well....here I am

no pressure tags for @formulahuh @piastrology @omigodyall @vegasgrandprix @argentinagp @chilegp if you haven't done it yet!

[verawhisk]

my drawing process (thank you @pepper-ika!)

i draw and colour for a long long time. i don't do the traditional sketch + lineart + colour -- sketches are hard to line, they're kind of time-consuming and usually they end up better than the lineart, so i just draw like normal and clean it up before colouring. i start at the head and end at around the feet, kinda like a person showering (lol). here i'm using your typical pencil brush you can find in any standard art program.

a tip i got from another artist was to colour using a thick, opaque pen brush that varies a lot in width. it saves a Lot of time. before they showed me that, i made the mistake of using a soft, painterly brush to colour my art. it hurt my wrist because i had to press really hard to get flat colour -- when all that time i could have just been using a pen brush! also, i start with soft colours because they're nicer to look at.

2. i do colourful midtones like redness in the skin or maybe a blue five o clock shadow if they have one. from this point onward, i use a flat square-ish brush combined with a painterly smudger and a soft airbrush.

i read somewhere that you should apply perfume on the moistest parts of your body so i kind of use that same idea when drawing redness. usually i do it where skin meets skin: folded arms, a crunched back, closed hands, and that place where the thighs touch the buttcheeks, lolol. and of course: the nose, lips, and ears. it makes the skin look real and warm and lively!

3. i lay down my shadows and lights, usually in that order. and at this point, i'm throwing extra shadow on wrinkles, fat, bumps, lumps, etc. a body without rolls is like an angel without wings!

also i smudge like CRAZY here. just like how it's impossible to have "too much gravy" on your chicken, it's impossible to have "too much blending" when you're drawing skin. blend that ish.

when it comes to the colour of the shadows, i always make shadows the base colour but darker and more saturated, and i move the hue a little to the left (for example: orange goes to red, green goes to yellow, purple goes to blue). i do that with, like, every colour. i can't tell if it's lazy or not but at this point i'm too scared to ask.

4. finally i make some minor adjustments like liquifying to fix lopsided eyes or oversized heads/hands. when i was in high school, my art teacher would say "great, but watch the size of the feet, hands, and neck," lolol. he was right ofc. when i go "hm... that looks a little weird," i have to trust that gut feeling because when i do fix it, it ends up looking way better. here is a horrifying gif illustrating that.

AHH!!!

alternatively you could do a messy line and color, then do a whole paintover like i did here. this is awesome for details because you dont have to go back and change the lineart - you just paint over and add whatever you want and redraw the line to fit it.

i dont really use the different layer modes that much. in this one i used a gradient map of the drawing as an overlay. idk if that really does anything major but it does create a new range of colors to play with. i also used a multiply layer to cast a big shadow over the card (layer 8) because it has this tiiiny little pattern that would be a pain in the butt to draw shadows over. everything else is pretty standard.

(and no i dont name my layers... yes i will be changing my name and moving countries)

another thing worth noting: i use airbrushing A LOT. i remember reading somewhere that using airbrushes is like. a cardinal sin. it’s not, man. it’s great. airbrushes and smudging are dope and i use them all the time.

i hope you found this helpful! have a great weekend <3

[nadekosnake]

neglected manuscript - Do you have a favorite novel?

from this ancient ask meme

LMAO NO!!! PICKING THE ONE I WAS AFRAID OF 💀 I could make it easy and lie but y’know what? We’re gonna be honest about this 🫡 Gonna be LONG bc I have 1) not talked with about this in any capacity with another human being before and 2) a pretty complicated relationship with this book 🤕

Content warning for CSA 👇

This is difficult partly bc I do love a lot of books but partly bc I don’t like to reveal my actual favorite book… I genuinely worry people will perceive me in a very negative way LMAO. My favorite of all time is Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov 😶 It’s the book I’ve reread the most in my life so far and it is genuinely one of the best written books I have read 🤧 I think generally people are like 😰🤢 when you drop a bomb like that what’s typically supposed to be a light-hearted convo so I usually will say something else! Typically my safe answer is The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald (which genuinely was my favorite book at some point in time, we are not going to dive into this right now).

(A disclaimer as I talked about Lolita fashion before, I am aware that the fashion gets its name from the novel but that’s where the relation ends. I like Lolita fashion because I’m a loser that likes subculture fashion and not because it has the same name or any other connection to the book. That happens to be coincidental. I am staunchly against fetishization of the fashion ok thanks! 🙂‍↕️ back to the program!)

Brief summary for those who need it: Humbert (the narrator) is a scholar and a secret pedophile, who one day meets the Haze family for a home stay. He obsesses over the daughter, a 12 year-old girl named Dolores Haze, who he personally calls Lolita. Humbert marries Ms. Haze to be around the real object of his obsession. Through unfortunate events, he ends up Dolores’s sole caretaker. She lives with Humbert’s constant sexual abuse that spans a cross-country roadtrip, but eventually she runs away with the help of another pedophile. Unfortunately it is not a happy ending. Despite Dolores’s escape from both pedophiles, she dies before she can rebuild a normal life with her future family.

The first time I tried to read it, I was too young (around Dolores’s own age 🫥). It was recommended to me by another middle school girl! God knows what the fuck we were doing back then LMAO but the girl who recommended it to me said it was a love story. Older man girl our age whatever. Tbh when I started it I understood that it wasn’t a love story… and I couldn’t finish it because of how uncomfortable it made me. I reread it a handful of times between middle school and uni with varying degrees of success, and I only really started to grasp it when I reached uni. I do think I was entirely too young to read the book or even understand it, and thankfully it was not used as a tool to manipulate me. It was a dicey time tbh. When I was growing up, there weren’t communities of young women that centered around accepting Dolores Haze as a victim.

I think there’s a disclaimer for those you haven’t read it and think it glorifies CSA and pedophilia. It really does not. Nabokov himself was a victim of CSA and did not condone it. I think that the #1 thing that movie adaptations and pop culture struggle with is that people believe the narrator point blank. So the adaptations all have this horrible romanticization of the story at their cores. People even struggle with understanding the book because the narrator is an Educated & Scholarly Man who is like ✨I’m a poet I’m a sensitive soul and we poets just believe in love✨ like NO!!! The whole point of the story is that he is an unreliable narrator!!! The narrator is a murderer, rapist, kidnapper, and if you’re actually paying attention you see it all with your own damn eyes! And of course nobody really does pay attention! 😭

So like, why is this my favorite? This is also complicated LOL, but I think that there’s a couple of main reasons.

Ultimately, to me, the novel is a puzzle that Nabokov invites you to solve. You have an unreliable narrator, but he’s an excellent manipulator. I think a lot of people lose “the game,” so to speak, the first time they read the book because the narrator is so good at making you see only what he wants you to see (he loves her, he’s just a nice sensitive guy who lost his first love too early, he’s doesn’t mean to hurt “his” “Lolita,” she “seduced” him, she “makes” him do horrible things to her, etc). It is written so well, and since the character himself is a professor and an intellectual, I think it’s easier for folks to let their guard down and to literally be tricked. Genuinely speaking I struggled with what to believe too, especially as a child. The only reason I didn’t buy into the “love story” bit was because by some intuition, I was aware that something Bad was happening despite the narrator’s insistence that it was all good. Tho I could not pinpoint what it was at the time.

But once you break past the facade and you’re fully paying attention the novel, it is like two stories in one. One hand, poets romantics in the name of love blah blah blah, but on the other hand? Dolores is a girl from a broken home, who’s mother is murdered by a man that wants to rape her. She’s kidnapped and shows clear signs of abuse (triggered by paternal affection, cried herself to sleep every night since the abuse started, bouts of disassociation, extreme rebellion towards Humbert, etc). Some of this stuff is actually glossed over by the narrator, but signs of a whole other part of the story are literally right in front of you if you’re paying attention.

For example, there’s a single line about Dolores’s mother, Charlotte, where she reveals in a letter to Humber that both her first husband and her youngest child (Dolores’s baby brother) died. And the narrator does NOT give a rat’s ass about this woman or her woes so it’s never talked about again. It’s whittled down to one single dismissive sentence, and I missed it tons of times. But knowing that, it makes sense why Charlotte acts as she does, why Charlotte and Dolores’s relationship is fraught. And why Dolores acts as she does at the beginning of the novel. Literally the Haze family is going through extreme grief with barely the emotional resources to process a double death in their immediate family. Without that context though, you’re just going along with whatever Humbert wants you to believe. You don’t see who Charlotte or Dolores are as individuals. You miss a chunk of the truth. And that’s literally just one of the smallest instances I can think of. There’s so much to dig through both directly and in between the lines. Nabokov is so deliberate with his writing and so extremely detailed that there’s a LOT of things that are easily missed unless you read it multiple times. This shit is so detailed, there’s scholars dedicated both to Nabokov and to Lolita the novel.

I think the last big reason I keep coming back to it is because I think it’s something so deeply rooted in society, you never really live without Lolita. The book has been bastardized to hell and back because most people, especially those in power once again, Do Not Understand how to read this book. So we’re left with not necessarily Dolores Haze, but this enigmatic “Lolita” the abstract figure of Humbert’s delusions. She is so influential, we all live our lives with her whether or not we’re aware of it. Coquette aesthetic? Lolita. Lana Del Rey? Katy Perry? The Police? Lolita. Marc Jacobs? Carven? Lolita. Vladimir? Excavation? My Dark Vanessa? Lolita. Heart-shaped sunglasses? Lolita. Butterflies??? Yes, Lolita. You can even go so wild with the connections to the point of bringing up the goddamn Lion King (animated 1994 version, Scar is voiced by Jeremy Irons who played Humbert Humbert in Adrian Lyne’s 1997 adaptation).

And it’s this constant reminder, every day. You pass by her on the Internet or in an ad while you’re out and about. She lives in the shadow of your acquaintance or your loved one. She haunts everything in a very real and literal sense. I think that’s what keeps me coming back to the book… even if I wanted to forget about her, I don’t think I ever really could.