#it’s more introspective than anything

[localfanbaselurker]

Yall know the drill!! Let’s get it baby!!

Watching Voltron: LD for the First Time and Saying What I Think

S1-2 | S3 | S4 | S5 | S6 | you are here! | S8

upon formatting this debrief/review, I realized quite quickly that I was gonna run out of the image limit too soon, no matter how many collages I made, so some ideas are better if you specifically remember scenes. Click on images for better quality! I apologize, I only have tumblr on mobile. please enjoy this edition anyway!

Pre-Season 7 Thoughts

-> I said in my S6 post that I thought it could be a decent ending if some strings were finally tied, so hopefully this season clears those up

-> S6 was pretty intense at the end, hopefully they tone it down a notch as they go on their little earth roadtrip

-> the aftermath of Lotor dying is definitely something that will weigh on Allura. Hopefully she doesn’t get too torn up about it

-> I’m really curious as to how the new team dynamics will play out now that Kieth is back as black paladin. Will they go back to s1? s3? Will they just act like nothing??

-> really wanna scene where keith calls krolia mom for the first time

-> what is with this “game show” episode??

-> I’m curious as to how ships will play out now.. Lance seems to be okay with Allura not liking him back after s6, their talk was really nice. As much as I think they look cute together, Allura needs time to get over Lotor first, and Lance seems to be already moving on.

-> now that Kieth is back, I wonder if there was more “klance moments” for people to go crazy over

->also where has Matt been this whole time??

-> them going to earth will probably explore their families, and i really wanna see more of their lore. (Especially keith)

->Hopefully shiro finally gets a break after everything. I’m excited to see who this love interest of his is!!

Post-Season 7

-> holy fuck. yall did not lie. that was…intense.

->ultimately I did not get my pre-s7 wish then.

-> I really liked all the keith/shiro lore about their relationship. It was really sweet. Shiro was the first person (besides his dad I guess) to show him patience and kindness. That’s so heartwarming.

->added to all the motifs and references to them saving each other,,very sweet. I love found family stuff like that. so i very much liked that episode (besides the “tiny” subplot lolz)

-> Romelle (as opposed to the name I gave her: “sailor moon altean girl”) is actually so real. She and hunk have the same “only normal one” vibe and i respect that.

-> literally where was haggar/honerva this whole time. Did she take a sabbatical or something??

->this image is so chaotic…literally what are yall doing 😭

->cosmic wolf (Kosmo, apparently) dgaf I love him

-> Allura is such a cutie.. “but I’m terrible at drawing! 😔” I love her so much

->^hunk upgraded his bayard!! Yayyyyy! More character development!!!

->Axca is back! (I have since long stopped calling her “space asami girl”)

-> i think she’s a really interesting character. While the other of Lotor’s generals go for whatever seems right for them, (as you should in war) she seems to calculate things on a matter of both that and morality, while also looking at the big picture. “Well, this would save my ass, save the universe from chaos, and be morally intact…sounds good”

->^is this the klance moment? seems a little sad tbh. why Lance is like that “wait where are you going?” relax bro he’s not gonna disappear

-> they’ve been gone FOR THREE YEARS????

-> what the FREAK.

-> imagine now how their families have missed them 🙁 I’m actually so sad abt that ☹️

->the game show ep…was really funny. Idk where yall got all this angst from. New mission: write a fluff one shot post-game show.

->^i literally cannot get over this??? Like.. they could’ve really made him say anything else. “because mullet here would punch you to the end of eternity if he didn’t get out *smirk*” or something like that but no it /had/ to be that. And the others thought it was odd too, I mean look at their expressions.

->And same goes for Keith??? If you don’t wanna spend an eternity with Lance just pick yourself?? There had to be another reason. If they made all the other characters say insightful and heartfelt things about one another, why can’t Keith say anything?

-> I think because keith and Lance chose each other, making both of them say nice things would drive you guys a little crazy, so I think they tried to just “klance-proof” (like baby-proof) this season by making them barely interact unless it’s a battle or doing so in a s1/2 way

->Because otherwise keith acted…really out of character..? I think it might be to his growth on the quantum abyss trip, but it just felt so odd to watch him this season

->the “floating in space” episode was actually super interesting to watch. Going space crazy caused for their truest thoughts and desires to come out from the dark. (going to earth, what they think about each others’ actions) I thought that was really cool.

->KEITH CALLED KROLIA MOM!!! IT HAPPENED!! OMG. SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP FALLING TO MY KNEES AT WALMART!!!!!!!!🫡💪🔥🔊🗣️

->Krolia and kolivan definitely explored each other’s bodies idgaf. Kolivan is the dad that stepped up fr.

->Colleen Holt is an icon. She’s a girlboss. She’s a legend. I love her so much. Sam better watch out 🤛👊🤜

->^from “who is this divaaaa 😍😍” to “OMG GIRL LANCE??? 😮😁” to “OMG LANCE’S SISTERRRRR😆🤩”

->^is this not the “the pilot crashed!” girl from 1x01??

->tbh i literally could give less of a fuck about these people. The girls seem cool I guess. But I don’t really care about any of them.

->also no way they deadass named a dude kinkade. That was wild even for them (I’m so sorry if it’s a cultural thing)

->^I love it when they do little homage bits like referencing back s1 or 2 like this

->^screaming crying throwing up.

->^^that hug between pidge and her mom..i felt that. that shit was personal. Ya’ll see the way she held on to her? Diabolical work. (I’m tearing up as I type this)((that’s exactly how I’ve held my mom b4))

->^^^“uncle lance!” STOP. DON’T DO THIS TO ME. I CAN’T DO THISSSSSS *screams*

->HUUUNNNKKKK. MY BOYYYYY. UGHHHHHH. I’m gonna die

-> I will say this tho, I’m glad he’s getting a lot of focus and attention his way these last few seasons (6&7). Like yes!! Give the realest mf in the whole show the attention and appreciation he deserves!!!

->I was so happy when he got his parents back like I genuinely did a little celebratory dance (jumping up and down and going “yes!yes!yesyesyesyes! yeeeessssssss!” while doing exaggerated hand gestures)

->Adam fucking died.

->not even one scene showing his and shiro’s positive interactions. or them being romantic. one and a half scenes. And then he’s gone.

-> while, for the most part, I try to understand the writers faults further than just face level, (ie netflix or dreamworks just didn’t let them explicitly put anything there) idk I just. I feel like they could’ve at least played it off as them being “good friends” or something. But to kill him off is just…it feels wrong.

->and it feels like a wrong for shiro too. He finally gets to be on earth after everything that’s happened to him, and the one thing he’d been hoping to finally see,,is gone.

->I just feel like they did shiro dirty. they can never give that poor man a break.

->^I was right! Keith is definitely acting different because of his growth on the quantum abyss (or “space whale” as people seem to call it). It’s nice to know he’s matured and stuff, and can actually say what he feels and such, be a good team member/leader. I just wish it wasn’t all off-screen. (and while I’m happy for him..I do miss his more broody early-season self a bit)

->as much as I think allurance is cute, I feel like they’re kinda rushing it. Like. by the time they got to Earth it had barely been a month of being stuck in space post-s6. Maximum it’s been 3 months by the time of the final battle. she would not be blushing. She would be mourning Lotor. They could’ve had a little subplot about that,,the crushing weight of knowing she could’ve both stopped his death and the guilty feeling of “why am i mourning him..? He was a bad person” because she still loved him!! She still loved him when they were about to leave him in the quintessence field and she felt conflicted!!

->she would’ve also not caught feelings that fast. Let’s say she somehow miraculously got over Lotor in 2 months. (minimum!) she still wouldn’t have caught feelings! Maybe she would start like. the budding processes to begin to fall for lance…but she wouldn’t be blushing and being all bashful like that.

-> basically all I’m saying is I really hope they don’t rush this. It would feel unfair to both her and Lance. Allura literally was like “oh..😕 he said that..☹️?” In s6 when the mice told her about Lance’s feelings because she felt bad about breaking his heart.

->and Lance has literally been after her for a really long time,, so it’d be unfair to pair him with someone who only started liking him like a week ago.

->I also hate the “guy pines after girl, girl doesn’t reciprocate and turns him down a lot, guy almost gives up, girl starts falling for him just as the show ends after not showing any interest previously” trope. (I am aware Allura and Lance do share some more sweet and romantic scenes/moments in s4-6, but you catch my drift, right?)

-> I really hope they put it well in s8.

->^I got to that Lance scene I’ve seen everywhere and just. Wow. it was so intense. I actually got chills. Amazing work from the animation crew yet again.

-> the final battle was sooo amazing and so beautiful.

->the atlas stuff kinda threw me off tho.

->that admiral sanda girl was a bitch (i do not use that term lightly, especially for female characters) and not to sound like a maniac im glad she died ngl. She was stupid as hell if she thought her plan would work.

->also if the galra can invent something that can easily overpower Voltron, then why don’t they just take over the universe themselves?? They clearly have the resources to.

->seriously the atlas’s stuff was insane. Fym it’s a ship that makes a bigger, cooler, grizzled Voltron??(yes I will forever use that joke)

->^because like. Then what do you need Voltron for??

->like the pacing and plot twists and shit felt so off and out of nowhere this season.

->and the real kicker was the altean chick controlling that giant monster thang. literally what the freak. where the cameras at I know I’m getting pranked right now. they were just pulling shit out of their asses by then.

->again, need to say, if it weren’t for that altean chick, this could’ve also been a good ending?? like after reading the Wikipedia page I found out they had a 72 episode contract, so they need to get those last episodes out, (76 total, I did the math) but if anything I think it would be best if it was just a little anthology sort of thing. Like them defeating the rest of the galra left out, freeing planets, and focusing on their own lives and relationships (during and after). That would be probably the best course of action for s8.

->but apparently it has a “bad ending” (which I’m pretty sure is just ship stuff and people exaggerating)

->erm yeah that’s pretty much it. I think. Yay!

These are thoughts I compile over time. I finished Season 7 on 10/12/24. I apologize for my delay on posting this, I was meant to post it last week. I will now finally start what you have probably all been waiting for: Season 8.

Remember, my ask box is always open!! Feel free to ask anything on my opinions and such!!

[otaku553]

Thoughts on being aroace

[gayeddie-saved-me]

it’s a selfish thought and arthur knows it because merlin has spent so much time hiding a vital part of his existence, his very being, all because of arthur. so he presses it down into the deepest recesses of himself and focuses on doing everything he can to support merlin, to give merlin the world he deserves. a world where he is free.

but sometimes, when he’s alone in his room surrounded by his endless responsibilities, he will think to himself, i am nothing.

merlin and the old religion hold him as this once and future king, but no matter what they say, he can’t understand why they think any of this is about him. it was never him. everything he’d done, every accomplishment and fight he’d won had never been his to claim. he was a fraud. he was a lonely king with nothing to his name beyond the blood on his hands, the blood staining his every crevice.

he isn’t the once and future king. he doesn’t deserve any of the praise. he is the moon, a piece of rock in the sky that shines only because of the sun. without the sun, the moon is worthless. without the sun, no one would have ever looked at the moon twice.

arthur had never been proud of his mistakes and his inaction when it came to his father’s slaughter, but he had been proud of the things he had done to keep his kingdom and his people safe and healthy and happy. he has fought and fought and fought only to discover he had never even landed a punch. every knockout, every victory he had held up to hide the ugly nothingness of his true, empty self was never his to hold. with the discovery of merlin’s magic, any worthiness he thought he’d earned had slipped through his fingers like sand through a sieve.

merlin is beautiful and powerful. merlin is a god amongst men, a gift given to this world, given to arthur, and for what?

this prophecy for arthur was always about merlin. he carried the weight, he fought and fought and fought and he won, merlin was the one who had carried this kingdom on his back until they reached the safety of the golden era of the current day.

it’s a selfish thought, to be thinking of himself in relation to merlin’s magic when merlin has suffered every single day because of arthur. and yet, in those moments, he can’t help but wonder why he was born at all, why he was named savior of a group of people who would’ve never died if only he had stayed unmade, a whisper of nothingness in his mother’s womb.

his first breath caused a massacre, a genocide, and yet he was given an angel and a title and a prophecy of greatness he could never actually fulfill.

he would never tell merlin about these thoughts he had. merlin would end up feeling guilty somehow, would carry the weight of arthur’s worthlessness even more by taking on the deserved revulsion arthur had for himself.

no, he couldn’t tell merlin about this. merlin would tell him he was wrong, would try to talk him up and fix it. would use that endless kindness to tell arthur endless stories about his own importance. merlin would shine his sunshine on arthur until arthur forgot he was just a lump of rock. he wouldn’t rest until arthur loved himself, until arthur took all the credit for merlin’s own accomplishments again.

no, he would keep this to himself. he would give merlin the attention and love he deserves. this story isn’t actually about arthur pendragon. it never was.

[gales-tits]

Title: Chronic Wordcount: 3096 Characters: Tav (she/her half elf ranger), Gale Dekarios Synopsis: Gale is still struggling to find his feet again after being yanked into the adventure. The orb doesn't make it easy. Tav makes him face some truths... A soft and fairly warm addressing of Gale having chronic exhaustion and him being hard himself tempered with some Tav gentleness and a bit of Gale being taken care of for once.

There was something unnerving familiar about this.

Gale was curled under his blankets. The noise of everyone getting ready around him drifting in and out of his ears, a floating backdrop to the doze. Dreams intermingling unpleasantly with reality. The ache in his back from resting on the ground, even with his thick bedroll, enemies they had faced, the walls of his tower. Exhaustion wasn’t uncommon for him, admittedly. Ever since he’d been dragged from his home on this adventure, every so often, the time spent in convalescence caught up to him, downed him for a day, sometimes two. The guilt was always the same, though, a metal band around his chest, tightening so that it felt hard to breathe.

He’d been doing so well, too, these last few days. Managed to go with the party, to fight. Yesterday, thankfully right at the end of a particularly tricky battle, ribs aching from a nasty blow, he had cast perhaps more powerfully than he should have. Forgetting in it all the damage that so marred him now, arms swinging, drawing up a wave of fire that reduced their enemies to naught but ash and sent acid burning down his rotting limb. At the back of the group, it seemed nobody had noticed how he had nearly buckled, arms drawing in close to his chest.

After that, they had made the decision to go back to camp, and whilst he’d said nothing about it, he was immensely grateful. Despite retiring not long after dinner, amongst the sore but companionable chatter, now his leaden limbs refused to move properly. The dawn light was illuminating the side of his tent that he was facing, gold diffused along the length of the pale fabric. It was deeply beautiful, he mused, before his eyes slithered shut again and he drifted back into the void.

It must have been snowing, even though he wasn’t all that cold. It laid over him, a snow coat, thick and heavy and crunchy; his chest ached, unable to even lift a limb. It must have frozen his eyelids shut, because it was impossible to even part them. If he wasn’t so tired, the limpness might have frightened him more, but as it was, it didn’t feel like it mattered.

Back in his tower, then. Recently having realised the severity of his foolishness; in between arranging the spells needed to set up a protective barrier, with his ability so vastly limited by the aching hunger in his chest, the throbbing that ran through his arm where that chunk of magic had burrowed it’s way into his terrified flesh; carving, ripping, no trace of gentleness as it settled oh so near his heart, tendrils whipping their way deeper through him, eye screaming as the marking grasped ahold of it too… he had taken to his bed, to recover. The weight of his failure sunk over him, metal compressing him down. If it wasn’t for Tara, her soft and heavy weight a constant companion, he might have rotted away in that bed. Far beyond the current loss of his bulk, he would have become… nothing. Her endless determination had forced him up, made him eat and suffer the most basic acts of self care, although he always crawled back to the sweet embrace of it’s lush fabrics.

It had gone on like this for… months. Patches of blank time broken up by desperate searching for an answer. Books and artefacts and always pain, pain, pain. Tara had insisted it was merely the effect of the orb draining him, but Gale knew more. Even as he looked at the blackness that had encased his fingertips, radiating rings in the centre of his palm, ripples that shimmered, half scar tissue and half necrosis. This was his own mind, his enemy. The longer Mystra ignored him, the more he was reminded of what he’d always known. He was a failure. He would never, ever be good enough. And now he would die of his folly.

“Gale?” an uncertain voice echoed through the door of his tent. Eyes snapped open; she was, of course, behind him, as he was laying facing away. No snow. Of course not, inside his damn tent – it was all in his mind, although the crispy weight of it still made him struggle to try to move. Should he – should he be responding? By the time his mind had dragged itself to the thought that he should probably be speaking – “Are you alright? Everybody’s getting ready to go. You don’t have to come today if you don’t want to.” Tav. Her voice soft, nervous, sweet. His heart had been more drawn to her by the day. The confident leadership, the quiet warmth, the immense skill, and the sheer humanity of her. Perhaps it was all his isolation, but despite his best attempts to not allow himself to feel such things, Gale was being inexorably drawn. Some part of him thought it was only because he was being treated… kindly. Gods only knew.

Oh, fuck, he was meant to be replying -

“Gale?” a little louder, a little stronger now. Worry. Damnit, the last thing he wanted was to make Tav worry. “I’m fine.” he tried to answer, but it came out little more than a raspy croak, taking far too much of his energy just to talk. Louder, come on, fool, you’re a wizard, “Just a little – tired.” okay, that one was audible. Good. Still shaky and warbly, but at least… audible. “Do you want to stay behind today?” she asked, still outside the doorway, giving him his privacy. His heart skipped. He didn’t want to stay behind, he needed to be useful, to help. He was a powerful wizard, he could do this. “No, no, just ah – give me – give me a little time?” he called back, trying to shift his hips up so he could brace on his good elbow and sit up. It felt like sliding a great rock, forcing it over the ground, trying not to pant as he managed to start to adjust his position. “I’ll be with you as soon as I’m able, I promise you.”

There was a long enough pause that he wondered if Tav had left. Then - “Alright, if you’re sure.” her voice drifted in; low, warm, cautious. “You don’t have to force it, Gale. That battle yesterday was… hard. I’ll… I’ll come check back on you in a little bit?” “Yes, yes, thank you greatly,” he chose to ignore the first comment, trying to keep himself from panting to the point where she could hear it. “Shan’t be long!”

He stayed like that until he heard footsteps moving away, finally getting his body so that he was sitting up. Braced on his good arm, knees folded, his head hung, strands of greasy hair drifting around him, loose from their upwards style. How he missed access to regular hot water… he had made a promise, though. He had to uphold it. Looking down at his bandaged arm, he realised with a jolt that it was unravelling. Nobody had seen it – although from the glances, he had a feeling that Astarion knew what was going on underneath. With great effort, he moved until he was sitting cross-legged, feeling the most stable that way. Shoulders hunched as he tried to start re-wrapping them, hiding the black and blistered flesh, but even his good hand was struggling to be responsive today. Movements that were so jerky they undid the previous action. Thank Gods his sensation in that arm was so minimal, or the tugs of fabric against the flesh would have been agony.

Those traitorous, trembling fingers; the grip failed, and the bandages bounced out of his hold. They hit the ground, a graceful arc as they leapt away, once, twice hitting the ground, finally coming to a stop in the entranceway to his tent. The flaps were gently twitched apart, allowing a triangle of the outside light to illuminate the ground. As he braced to turn around and reach for the damnable thing, a shadow blocked it out – eyes jerked upwards, and there was Tav, pushing the fabric aside, but eyes fixed downwards on the roll of now-stained material. Brows furrowed, before she reached down – oh so gingerly picking it up, then her eyes coming up again to settle on Gale. Immediately, the confusion shifted to concern, not quick enough to school her expressions. Brows drawn, mouth slightly open, eyes softening considerably. He could see it all playing out; the bandages, the bared arm with it’s necrosed flesh, the concern would shift to horror and disgust and anger -

“Gale.” her voice was so soft, so gentle, just like her, and now she was kneeling in front of him, uncaring of whatever might be getting on her trousers. “Let me see?” He had done his best to keep the worsening malady from the others’ sight, admittedly. Yes, the skin was tender, undeniably. But more than anything, it usually felt numb; the agonies of magic would burn from the inside out, yet knocking the limb into branches or walls gave him nearly nothing in response. The only thing that truly made it throb was the touch of hands, contact against the blistered and blackened skin a whole new kind of agony. It had been an awful thing to discover, that even his own body was rejecting itself… but Tav, oh, Gods above, he hadn’t wanted her to see. Of any of them, she would be the worst… bar perhaps Lae’zel, who might see it as a sign of ceremorphosis and decide it a great choice to take his head from it’s comfortable place on his shoulders.

She swept her hair from her face in a surprisingly swift motion, wrapping it up, tying a band around it to keep it from her face. Tav had always been practical – maybe that was how she had fallen so quickly into the role of their de facto leader. Keeping everyone from ripping each other’s heads off, corralling them into something light a fighting force, and pushing them all ever onwards towards Baldur’s Gate. He… well, the affections that he’d been feeling were hard to ignore. Even as his mind wandered back towards Mystra again and again, that particular abandonment was starting to feel somewhat dulled. His eyes would linger on Tav as he worked the cookpot, even if she were merely standing and chatting, or polishing and cleaning her armor, or… his eyes lingered on a loose hair that curled around a gently pointed ear, a broad flatness to it that gave away the human side of her heritage.

Drawing a knife from her belt, Tav cut the muddied section of bandage away, sitting in front of him cross-legged. Eyes lingered, trailing down; the sweat that was dripping down his neck from the effort of being upright, the tangled strands that settled around his shoulders, then back to his arm. It hadn’t been so bad at first, of course. The necrosis had started at the spot in his palm that the orb had driven it’s way in – tearing, burning, agonisingly ripping it’s way towards his heart. It was hard to forget it, even if it had left no mark. Yet still it had. The blackness crept it���s way out. When he’d been taken, it covered from fingers to nearly his wrists. But since the tadpole, it had worsened dramatically. The creep seemed to have ratcheted up, alongside the hunger of it – it covered all the way up to his elbow, near enough now. His fingers ached with a constant coldness, making it hard to grip. The black marks were streaked with purple and rotten hints of green. Beyond the pain, the increasing lack of sensation and ability to hold even his textured staff was… frustrating. Limiting.

“How long have you been keeping this bandaged?” Tav asked, voice so soft and gentle. It was funny; if he hadn’t known she wasn’t, he could’ve sworn that she was a cleric, the perfect bedside manner. “Ah -” the noise came out a sharp hiss, instinctively jerking away. She immediately released the touch from his flesh. All she had done was gingerly touch his arm, trying to brace the bandages, but it was like white fire. “Forgive me -” “It’s tender?” she asked, brows drawn in, “I’ll be careful. More careful. Hold nice and still.” looking down again, she began to wind the bandages, taking extreme care that only the fabric touched his skin. He swallowed roughly. “I – when we were first taken,” he murmured, “I realised just how foul the damage looked. I – the bandages do little to heal it, unfortunately. It is – it is more for the comfort of those around us, not to see the state of it.” he allowed a short, self indulgent chuckle. He doubted any of the others would enjoy seeing the evidence of his folly on such display. Let alone not giving anyone else an extra target to see, and, well…

“This is the orb.” Tav said, with such tenderness that his heart skipped a beat. He was so very tired; it weighed on his shoulders, threatening to drag him back down to the ground. To curl into his bedroll… oh, it sounded like it would be bliss… “Right?” “Oh. Yes. Yes, it’s… it’s where I, uh. Made contact, as such.” he admitted, softly. “Whilst it still does it’s best to spread itself from here,” he raised his good hand, tapping two fingers gently against the markings in his chest. He was sure the little electrical flicker that raced through it, following veins into his body where they weren’t visible, were entirely psychosomatic. “It has left a trail of destruction in his wake, alas. My own cost to pay, but…” he trailed off, swallowing hard again. There was that guilt, that band in his chest.

He wanted to sleep.

“Corrupting influence. Yes. Don’t worry, Gale. I understand.” she was working oh so deftly, rapid and clean movements, binding his arm, tucking each corner away, making sure there was nothing to get caught. She reached his palm now; he flexed out his fingers with a grimace, faint cracks appearing in the skin, but Tav said nothing about that as she wound each around the digits. “I’m not surprised that it does such things to your body. You are containing an immensely powerful force.” dark eyes flickered up, lingering on his own, and oh. Oh. It was hard to ignore how his heart skipped. Smart, kind, so gentle and yet – she looked at him. Saw him. Truly, utterly saw him. Perhaps he was pathetic right now, all lank hair and exhaustion, but – for the first time in oh so long – there was a breath where he was free of shame. Mystra was ashamed of him, his family, Gods, everyone he had let down in all this time, and yet Tav looked at him like there was something worth saving.

She finished tucking the bandages, carefully pressing them into place, firm enough he doubted they were going to unravel easily, but with enough flex he could move his limited wrist. Tav sat back, and smiled, eyes warm.

“You know, it’s okay to take a rest.” she said, sitting back, resting her elbows on her legs. “What?” the words caught him by surprise, freezing the breath in his throat. “What do you -” “You pushed yourself too hard, yesterday. I saw it, you know. All that power…” she reached out, and took his good hand, running her soft skin over his. “You know, I think about it. How you were before, y’know? Before all this. Before I met you. I keep imagining this…” she chuckled, and his heart leapt, and he couldn’t explain that either, only he was smiling. “This bright young wizard. Incredibly powerful. Casting all these immense spells without even thinking about it. Swaggering. Mystra’s chosen. Cocky, even. And I keep thinking… I don’t think I would have liked him.”

Oh. Oh, that’s… his heart tightens again, that little leap turning into a rough and tumble sinking towards his stomach. “Well, I, uh… that wouldn’t be an unfair assessment.” he said, with a grimace. Cocky upstart, yes, that was him, without a question – so convinced that he knew everything, that he was going to do the impossible and return that chunk of magic back to Mystra. He would prove himself worthy of being the greatest wizard known to Waterdeep, if not all of Fae’run. “Rather, I was, yes, very impressive. Hardly so now, I’m afraid. One hell of a fall from grace.” “Do you really think that, Gale?” Tav said, a blunt edge. He blinked; mouth opened and then closed again. “Because I think that’s bullshit. Maybe that’s how you see it. I like you. As you are, now. Okay, yes, you fucked it up a bit. Pushed too hard. Made a mistake.” she lifted the hand that wasn’t holding his, and pressed it against his chest, over the orb. She was soft, and warm; he was sure he could feel her pulse through the touch. Despite his expected discomfort at having someone so close to that weapon inside him… the fear didn’t rise.

“I like you when you’re human, Gale.” it shifted from the orb to his cheek, tucking a loose hair behind his ear. “You need to rest. Okay? Take your time. You don’t need to make dinner, either.” she hesitated, he could see it, feel that slight tightening of her hand. “Take a moment to be human.” she shifted away, and despite himself, he leant towards her, the warmth that was dancing away from him as she disentangled. “We’ll get on the road again when we’re all ready.” there it was again, he was sure, hesitating, she was hesitating, and he opened his mouth, not sure what would come out but - Soft, gentle lips rested on his forehead. For just a breath. Just a moment. He hung onto it with every part of memory that he had, then she was drawing back, leaving him with the ghost of a touch that seemed scorched into his skin. “I’ll see you later, Gale of Waterdeep.” and she laughed. Just like Tav. No cruelty, no mocking, but just a gentle teasing. As the curtain to his tent fell back into place in her wake, he looked at the perfect bandages on his arm, and as he curled back into his bedroll, found his mind wandering to rather more human thoughts than his usual Mystra mourning.

[wormedrabidnerd]

Anyways, Prince Gumball be upon ye!

I prefer him like this

A neurotic, incompetent nerdy loser <3

[neometalpussy]

every day they find new ways to make me try and figure myself out. to understand myself. such is my plight i guess

[cherrysnax]

oh yeah we were also wondering why we flock to media with dead kids that haunt the narrative both figuratively and literally and uh :) yeah we know why

[24-guy]

Sometimes I'm filled with the darkest sense of melancholy for something I didn't think twice about before.

I miss my guitar now more than ever even though I've not had it for what's coming up to two years. I wish I had it with me. I wish I could make those indents on my fingers and feel the ridges in the strings. I wish I could play it. I was never good but I had the chance to learn then and I don't have that now.

[medichamcham]

pensive emoji. orbitshipping angst

[fearforthestorm]

it is such a shame that rainstorms are a consistent migraine trigger for me because I love the rain so much but especially I love the way that the rain makes my city look. it goes all gray and lit-from-within at civil twilight and the skyscrapers at city center stretch up so high that the shapes lose definition and it's something that I am just so so fond of.

[numetaljackdog]

Ask game; 21 :)

21 (What I love most about myself): hmm i guess i think i'm pretty funny sometimes, i've got some clever one-liners and wordplay skills. i'm very introspective, often to a fault, but i do feel like that makes me self-aware in a way that allows me to conduct myself with compassion. and i can make a pretty damn nice sandwich, and i'm good at tetris :)

[gracien-system]

Being triggered by something is not where your chain of thought should end. Avoiding exposure to triggers is not where you chain of thought should end.

Triggers are triggers for a reason. No one is born with these fuckers. Untangling that reason and disarming those triggers is part of recovery.

Desensitization can be both good and bad. It depends on the method. If the method is dissociation or numbness, that's generally bad -- but if you're actually untangling the reasons behind your triggers or squicks and disarming them, that's good.

Trying to avoid pain at all costs will at best slow down your recovery, and at worst actively make it impossible to heal.

Now, there are times when the process of disarming a trigger is more dangerous than letting it be. But that's a decision you can only really make after you've examined the trigger.

I mean I think people should curate their own fandom experience and whatnot and it's perfectly fair to just avoid things one is uncomfortable with...

That being said. From personal experience? Immunizing myself to all my discomforts by browsing through pixiv and kink memes with raised eyebrows while searching for things I am interested in back when tagging was non-existent has really made my fandom experience much more pleasant nowadays.

I have preferences, for sure. But I have no fear. I have no cringe. The filthiest, grossest fanwork holds no powers over me. I am a god.

Like honestly dl;dr and block on sight is respectable and all but I genuinely think everyone could just benefit from purposefully exposing yourself to your nOTP and non-triggering squicks sometimes? (And obviously don't go bother the creators for it.) If only so that it makes it easier/safer to search for content you like without living in fear of accidentally glimpsing something you hate and having that ruin your day.

[heyitslapis]

Oh I'm so lonely

[snekdood]

i think if people look back at all of this, the amount of people trying to suppress my voice, the amount of people Not believing a victim, the amount of people who want me to shut up about it- i dont think history is gonna look as kindly upon yall as you might hope.

[simantopia]

steals all of these for inspo

[curiosity-killed]

WIP wednesday

With a last adjustment to the simple jade bangle she’d chosen, Gian took a deep breath and straightened up to a proper posture. She looked a little lost in her borrowed clothes with their hasty alterations and the shaky confidence she pulled over herself. For a moment, Jisel almost felt she was looking at a mirror into her own past. Five years ago, she had stood in the same spot, too new to Aeridian clothes to realize how poorly hers fit, trying to draw on courage the same way she pulled on the few pieces of jewelry she'd worn when she fled Tikana. As they exited, Gian caught hold of Jisel's elbow and clung to it in the sort of gentle hug Jisel used to use to hold on to her aunt Amalline. It threw Jisel. She had to stop herself from physically recoiling and pulling away. It was a gross overstep of propriety to Aeridians—but it was perfectly ordinary in Capall. For a young woman venturing into a new setting, it would be far stranger not to hold on to her chaperone. The thought made Jisel feel approximately a hundred years old.

small happy dance for finally finishing the ch5 revisions (first round)