#it’s just patrol

[asteroidtroglodyte]

[000bun]

[technically-human]

Payneland² 

[fanaticalthings]

I want an AU where after Jason gets brought back to life, he channels his inner rage and turmoil into the academics instead of murder

Talia has like infinite money and a crap ton of influence, so she can absolutely get Jason the best tutors and can easily get him into the most prestigious schools if Jason wanted to (she doesn't need to do that though because Jason's just smart enough to get into them on his own)

The major he chooses? Med.

Why? Because Bruce dropped out of med school.

Jason practically flies through all the secondary education that he needs to catch up on and is already en route to earning his bachelor's AND his master's.

And it'd be so incredibly funny if the way Bruce and Jason reunite in this AU was purely by coincidence.

Bruce (as Brucie Wayne) offers to show up as a guest lecturer at Hudson University (the school Dick attended but dropped out of so double points for Jason), maybe to talk about future career paths and job positions at WE idk

So as Bruce is just wandering around the campus, he randomly bumps into a student and immediately puts on the Brucie act and is all "Oh my, I'm SO sorry, I'm just a klutz haha" only to stop dead silent when he makes eye contact with a very alive, very grown Jason Todd, who also stops dead in his tracks, mouth agape, staring at Bruce like the world's about to end

And before Bruce can get his thoughts straight, Jason just bolts out of there like his life depends on it, and Bruce is just in shambles for the rest of the day.

It doesn't help that the person giving Bruce the tour is all like "Oh yeah, that's Jason, he's one of the heads on our student council haha, anyways, this way, Mr. Wayne." and Bruce is just stood there bluescreening.

----

Alternatively, it'd be kinda funny if this all happened AFTER the events of UTRH where after the final encounter with Bruce and Joker and the whole explosion, Jason's just like "yk what, maybe I'm just gonna turn over a new leaf and pursue a higher education"

So while Gotham's still reeling from the aftermath of Jason's near takeover as the top crime lord and Bruce is still painstakingly trying to figure out where his son went, the whole time Jason's just been chilling on a school campus and Bruce just so happens to bump into his son (who, last time they met, tried to kill Bruce and blew up the building they were all in) and Jason's just all normal-looking with his textbooks and nerdy glasses and Bruce doesn't know whether to scream or cry.

[birdiegray01]

Bruce gets Damian legos because he’s trying to connect with him and the two end up completely missing patrol because they were to busy building all of Gotham with the legos

[monkesupreme]

Starving and wasting away etc etc

bonus:

Hes tall and huge and HEAVY and he is so overly active that he has to maintain an insanely high caloric intake to make sure his body doesnt collapse from the strain of everything. He will eat virtually anything but he is spoiled from the best takeout Gotham has to offer: 11$ shrimp and broccoli from the chinese food spot that closes at 4am- among other things.

[lunar-caterpillar]

Spooky and Spooky Jr.

[frownyalfred]

I 100% believe Lois Lane requested the presence of Bruce Wayne in her delivery room.

Nobody, not even the League, understood until it was time to give birth and Clark froze up at her bedside. Bruce was there to coach them both through it, as Clark’s friend and as Lois’ human reinforcements.

(Bruce flew to Metropolis in a helicopter when he got the news. He found Clark ashen and trembling at Lois’ side, eyes clenched shut as she screamed. He slid into place like he’d never been missing, talking Lois AND Clark through it like he delivered babies every day of the week)

[demonicsuffrage]

Tim: Just went to good fashion island and no one there had heard of you. Btw.

Dick: Gasp

Dick: Just went to spleen island and they've decided to revoke your citizenship.

Tim: Gasp

[aenslem]

✨HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MICHELLE GOMEZ (23 November 1966)✨

[chilling adventures of sabrina, doctor who, bad education, doom patrol, the flight attendant, gotham, green wing, highlander: the raven, the collection, the bill, taggart, new world disorder, law & order: special victims unit, phsycobitches, oliver twist, chromophobia, rebus, the wedding video, the brink, manchild.]

[bloggerspam]

Cozytober: Wrapped in a soft fuzzy blanket

Dan isn't sure what he's doing here.

He sits, squished into the smallest pink chair imaginable, holding a tea cup barely the size of his pinky and wonders—not for the first time—why him.

He's reformed! He has his family back (with bonus new ones, in Ellie and Danny himself), and is trying his damnedest to be the best of both his donor's parts! He rescues kittens now!

So why?

"More tea, Mr. Dante?" A squeaky, pleasant voice asks politely.

Internally, Dan sighs. He knows why.

"Sure." Dan rumbles, low, so as to keep from intimidating her. It's a moot point, considering you were immediately invited to this tea part upon first glance.

"Lovely!" The girl, Lian, beams brightly at him, causing him to squint at how bright she looks. She reaches over with her purple teapot, decorated with superhero stickers all over it, and mimics pouring tea into his Red Hood themed tea cup.

Dan didn't even know Red Hood had merch, much less a children's tea set.

She watches him expectantly, so he takes a sip.

"Mm." He smiles, tightlipped to keep his fangs away, "Tasty."

Again, that blinding beam. Dan wonders, distantly, if the reason he can still see is because of his healing factor.

"Lian! Lian, honey, it's time to—" A voice echoes, causing Dan to stiffen.

A man enters through the open doorway, pausing at the scene they must make.

"Hi Daddy!" Lian chirps, "Mr. Dante stopped some bad guys from hurting Mrs. Stoner, and he said he knew the Justice League, so I invited him to my Tea Party to thank him!"

"Is that so?" Her father, with a frozen smile, turns slowly to Dan and quirks a single burnt orange eyebrow. Thankfully, he doesn't seem mad at Dan's presence, more surprised and…amused, judging by the taste in the air. His quirked lips seem to ask him why Dan didn't refuse.

"I've been told," Dan says as softly as he can, "that it would be uncouth for a…gentlemen to refuse a lady's request."

The part of Dan that's Vlad, the part of Dan that Ellie and Jazz influenced, had reminded him.

The part of him that's still Danny, that's still a sucker for little children and his sisters, had taken control and his acceptance had been given before he even knew it.

This is why he is here. Because he is, in Ellie's words, a god damn marshmallow softie.

"Fair enough." Lian's father chuckles with a tilt to his head, "Hard to say no to Lian anyway."

Lian's grin turns a little sharp, the way Ellie's does, knowing and mischievous.

"I've also been told that it's rude to overstay my welcome." Dan places the tea cup down gently, still trying to figure out how to be soft, and contemplates the logistics of getting up.

"But Mr. Dante, you haven't even finished your scones!" The scones in question sit innocently, masquerading as pumpkin spice flavored Oreos. Dan chuckles, and delicately pinches one to toss into his mouth. He gives up on unfolding his limbs around the tiny furniture and simply goes intangible, floating up to stand.

"Lian, I'm sure Mr. Dante's got other stuff to do sweetheart. Besides, it's dinner time for you."

Lian pouts, but seems to acquiesce with a pout before smiling up at him again. "Thank you for coming to my Tea Party Mr. Dante!"

"Thank you for having me, Little Miss." Dan rumbles, floating up and ready to leave.

"Wait!" Lian jumps up, running towards her closet and dragging out a searingly bright orange cloth. Its got little arrows all over it, and is three times her size. She holds it up to him, reaching on her tippy toes, so Dan touches back down and crouches.

"You need a cape, since you're a hero!" Lian explains, "Some heroes don't wear capes, but I think a proper gentleman like you should have a cape!"

She does her best, jumping around and fumbling over him to drape the blanket over his shoulders. Her father, from the corner of Dan's eye, is trying not to bust up laughing. She tries once, twice, three times to tie it around his neck, and he takes pity on her and ties it on himself. He feels ridiculous.

It's less of a cape and more of a bundling. He's half wrapped up and if he didn't have the ability to fly and go intangible, he's sure he would have been tumbling around and stuck.

Thankfully, he does have those abilities, so he floats up to get that all sorted.

"Just like Superman." The Father chuckles, barely able to string it together through his laughed. Dan smiles a wry smile, doing a Superman Pose just to see Lian light up and giggle.

"See ya later, alligator!" Lian chirps, waving goodbye.

And then the part of him that's still Danny rears up again, without his permission, as he floats through the ceiling.

"In a while, crocodile."

[oncillabrigade]

Someday, Damian is going to outpace Tim height-wise. He'll be at least a couple inches taller, because Damian's parents are both tall(ish) while Tim has done everything in his power short of getting an Ed Elric-style arm to stunt his own growth.

Once that happens, Damian will uncover his greatest power of all, a power he had only dreamt of before now, a power possessed by Superboy himself. Because once Dami is even a centimeter over Tim's head, this will occur:

Tim: Nice try, [insert rogue name], but you've officially been busted by Red Robin and the boy wonder himself.

Damian: Why does your name come first?

Tim: I'm older.

Damian:

Damian: *opens mouth*

Damian: *draws the biggest breath of his life*

Damian: I'M TALLER!!!!!

Unfortunately for Damian, he is not Jon, and Tim is not ten, and therefore, Tim has a comeback.

Tim: Name a single culture where height is a basis for authority and we'll talk.

Damian is devastated. He lashes out. They have their biggest argument in years. It gets physical. It gets vicious.

And yes, the rogue does get away while they fight.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 122

“Have you met Seal Hood?” 

Dick paused almost mid-jump, having apparently turned to the wrong channel but also changed to the perfect one too. At least, perfect in the fact that he had just overheard an interesting thing from Jason, apparently forgetting that his comm was in fact on still. 

Damian must have answered, because Jason snorted a laugh. “You can try getting him to leave, he’s taken over my bathtub and keeps eating all my food.” 

Hold up, was- Dick had thought Jason was talking about a plush or something, but was he talking about a literal living animal seal??

“I’ll have you know I’m not going to make a poor little baby seal leave, and I’m not putting him in a zoo, brat.” 

Oh Gotham, it was a real living animal seal. Dick about faced, rushing towards Jason’s safehouse. How did he get a seal? Why was it in his bathtub?? Why hadn’t he called the proper people for this sort of thing?! He had to get to the safehouse now to see this shit.

Baby Seal Danny <3

[technically-human]

Payneland² part two because they wouldn't leave me alone

Part 1 here

[lutheban]

None of them are equivalent to eachother but you get the point

[rooksunday]

fox’s best friend (that he’ll admit to having) is a mouse droid called honk!. he found honk! in the back of the corrie crying cupboard, wheels jammed with crud, and put the droid back together while complaining about a senator’s treatment of one of his shinies and his inability to act. fox buffed honk!’s chassis with the cuff on his flightsuit and set it back into the hallway when he left.

honk! maybe trips the senator at the top of some stairs a few days later. maybe getting away with this starts it in a path of vengeance. impossible to say. no witnesses.

sometimes honk! appears in fox’s office with some sweets tucked into its body, pilfered from senator offices. sometimes fox carries honk! under his arm like a tired puppy, its wheels whirring, and ignores the way thorn goes soft around the visor. he’s helping out a fellow worker. nothing to see here!

maybe honk! gets a security upgrade or two. maybe it gets a stripe in corrie red. maybe it tugs chancellor palpatine’s robes at an in opportune moment and he breaks his neck in a terrible escalator accident. who knows!!