#it’s about being willing to learn and self-reflect
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That’s one thing I really appreciate about Billy Bragg, socialist idol of my youth. Because this happened to him. Because it can happen to all of us. And he eventually realised that, did some self-reflection, and updated his shit, and has been publicly talking about that and exhorting other people of his generation to do the same. Not a perfect human being, obvs, but as far as role models go, seeing someone outright say, “hey, my politics stayed the same while the youth outstripped me and actually they kind of have a fucking point,” was really inspiring. I want to be the kind of person who will admit I was wrong, wasn’t fast enough, wasn’t listening, and will fix that about myself too.
It's very possible that the only way to ensure you don't become a conservative old person is to keep checking whether you're wrong. Every time. Genuinely mull over the opposing viewpoint even and especially when it's uncomfortable. You absolutely cannot a) consider yourself safely incapable of terrible principles because you're a good person, or b) treat a your disgust reaction to something as a moral truth. You can't get comfortable. Tiring! But you'd rather be tired and choose the right path, you know?
#it’s not about always having the Correctest opinions#it’s about being willing to learn and self-reflect#at my tender age of 36 I’ve encountered this#first time I heard about police abolition I had a gut reaction of ‘surely not!’#(which I can lay pretty squarely at the feet of my whiteness)#but then I listened to people. and reflected a little. now I’m on board.#but yeah like. my childhood soundscape was Billy Bragg Leonard Cohen and Jonathan Richman#and having at least one of those come out swinging for the fences for trans rights in the last couple years has been.#❤️❤️❤️#(tbf one of them is dead but)#(I assume cohen is up there like I see no difference love is love)
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went to bed last night feeling that it was finally time to step back and let the dust settle and try to get things back to normal and then woke up to all that
#life#don't get me wrong i'm all for stepping back and starting over#i feel like people would be much more willing to give third or fourth chances if you just take responsibility#ACTUALLY own up to your mistakes (instead of playing the victim) and just say 'hey i fucked up i'm sorry i'll be taking a break'#for self reflection or whatever#all of us make mistakes all of us mess up and hurt others whether intentionally or not#it's human#yet i also feel like it's important what we do about it yaknow? you can't change the past but you certainly can the future#i believe we all can learn and grow from mistakes and become better#my naive dickhead ass wants to sincerely hope that he will change and get better#and choose being a respectful human being instead of chasing clout#but seeing how everything's been unfolding i fear that he will just go back to his old ways but will try to mask it better this time#hoping for starting over without doing the same old copy-paste stuff and being respectful#fearing it's just block-evading#anyway.. here's to hoping this will be the last of it
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#finally finished all my dmv stuff! now I just have to wait for my updated ID to arrive in the mail!!!#tag talk#now I just need to update all my miscellaneous records and bank and apartment and work and dr office etc. but like... I'M DONE THE BIG STUFF#and I have a dr follow up in two weeks where I should get my first hrt scrip dog willing. it's all coming together and honestly I feel great#like. huge weight off my shoulders. life finally coming together. energy freed up to work on other stuff#I wish to hell and back that I could time travel back to high school me. I was so hopeless and had no idea why.#everything was wrong and bad and I couldn't do anything about it except hope that my mind stabilized by the time I hit my twenties.#I didn't even realize I was trans then. I just thought my body issues were over being gay.#honestly just seeing my future self would mean everything. I'm working on holding onto the weird I had back then but in a healthier way#I was still fighting against my dad buzzing my hair every few months. I ended up performing masculinity in such a weird way to compensate.#flaunted my scars as the only way of rebelling that I really had. proving I wasn't okay while refusing the christian help I was offered#everything I've told younger kids. taught younger cousins. taught other people. it's stuff I wish I could have known back then#stuff I've learned on this blessed hellsite. idk. it's all coming together. I'm becoming who I am#something something Lincoln Park all I want to do is be less like you and be more like me#I just. I'm alive again. New first name new last name new middle name but I'm still the same person I've always been#I'm not changing who I am. I'm changing all my tags to accurately reflect my content. I'm updating the summary to show what I contain#I'm shedding the costume I was pushed into and showing the true skin beneath.
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IMPORTANT POST PLEASE READ
Im gonna be honest and open for a sec, and please do not take this as "oh I HATE my community or I dont like the people who watch me" but honestly as of late (and I did highlight this during the mcc bit), ive felt like I havent been able to really be in my own community simply because of the constant way that "discourse" is handled. Making vague posts and not really tackling issues in a good way, all that is going to do is just show people a big "THIS COMMUNITY BAD" sign and not actually help anything within the community, all its going to do is have the good and potentially good people leave or not join in the first place. The way that discourse is treated that ive seen has been the main reason why I have started to try to distance myself, which has been the most heartbreaking thing I have had to do. I want problems to be solved in a mature, civil way, with either a dm or a reply, not an entire vague thing that only says "bad things are happening" and doesnt elaborate on anything or barely elaboratesa and only gives people on both the inside and outside a bad sign of what the community is. Making posts whenever something happens being like "here we go again" is only going to highlight the wrong things, and actually DOESNT help the issue at all! The problems should be discussed directly with the people who are doing said problems FIRST! Bring attention to behaviors and things that arent good DIRECTLY! And also, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO!!! It is not your duty as a viewer or fan of me to be involved in any of this if you do not want to! Just enjoy the content and make silly posts! As someone who constantly tried to fix and get into every problem as it was happening, it took a huge toll on my mental health, and I want you guys to just be able to enjoy the content without having to worry about what you say about it! Be constructive! Dont make posts again just being like "wow this community is so bad" because that doesnt solve literally anything! If you have enough passion to make the posts saying "wow this community is bad" then only post about that, you are only spreading that negative message, and not uplifting anything of actual value! And if the person you are trying to help is not willing or not listening, BLOCK! MUTE! DONT BRING MORE ATTENTION TO THE PERSON IF THEY ARE NOT BEING A GOOD PART OF THE COMMUNITY!!!! I know I say that if I see problems I will call them out, but I shouldnt have to babysit every single time a thing happens within the community as that just isnt a healthy way for a creator or a community to be handled. This does not mean that I do not care about the issues or dont want them fixed, rather it shouldnt take me having to make some grand statement every single time something happens it should take only your own self reflection and self awareness. And to add onto this, make sure that every once in a while no matter who you are you think and have that self reflection, you should be open to being willing to learn and grow as a person! And again, I do NOT want anyone taking this as "Wow this community is terrible" but rather that we just have things that need to be fixed and changed and THAT IS OKAY! I do not hate the community, I care so much about it that I want it to be a silly place for my content again! I want it to be the reason why people get into what I do because of it again! And I want to be able to just have fun and relax without having to worry about how every single thing that I may say could have someone stirring things up that simply dont help or solve anything! Take care of yourselves. And this isnt coming from a place of "I hate the community as a whole" but rather again I want to be able to exist and make content that we can all enjoy without having to worry about walking on eggshells around me or around eachother! At the end of the day im just a fella that wants to make silly videos for you all, and you are people who enjoy said videos. Nothing more. Nothing less.
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🌾 ❛ THE MOON AND YOUR DESIRED ROUTINE ༉‧₊˚ ˚୨୧
(through the signs)
🌳✧
hey guys. this post is about the moon and the type of routine that you may prefer based on the sign that lands in it. i hope you enjoy the post! ♡🌿
if you have any tarot or astrology post suggestions, i’d be more than willing to consider them. just drop your suggestions in my asks or in my post notes :)
— the moon and its meaning ꕥ
The moon is the planet of emotions, your internal world, where you find personal comfort, and where you find inner fulfillment. However, others tend to forget that the moon is a feminine and nocturnal planet that also rules patterns, cycles, and flow states. In a female’s chart, it rules over her menstrual cycle, her emotional flow throughout the month, and her inner states throughout the 28-day cycle; in a male’s chart, it rules over his emotional health and character as well as his inner child in a vulnerable and instinctual sense. Furthermore, in general, the moon could also indicate the routines and “personal flow” that one strives for daily to achieve comfort and satisfaction. Today, I am going to analyze what type of routine you prefer based on the sign your moon is placed in.
moon in aries˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Aries seek spontaneousness, thrills, leadership, and independence in their daily life and routines. They are particularly comfortable being constantly being on the move, hoping to discover a new venture, or taking on a new challenge. They wake up every morning with the intention of reflecting on what new battle they can fight today. Furthermore, they are one of the signs who are more comfortable with managing sporadic and unorganized schedules because they initiate a new project every other day. It is assured they do not get overwhelmed easily, but they could easily become explosive or impulsive in their actions or feelings when stressed or things do not go according to plan. These individuals could get very impatient as well, striving to get things done in a short amount of time; this could be particularly overwhelming for others and burdening for them in the long run. They often struggle to stay focused on a venture due to their hastiness and tendency to lose interest easily. They should learn how to start projects, manage them, and finish them victoriously; plus, learn how to be patient and take their time, so their ideas can successfully manifest in what they expected from the beginning. Additionally, individuals with Moon in Aries are self-interested. They prefer spending time on activities, hobbies, or endeavors that they could benefit or improve from. Not to mention, they are risk-takers. These individuals seek fulfillment from new experiences and circumstances because it gives excitement and stimulation.
moon in taurus ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Taurus seek comfort, security, and stability in their daily life and routines. They often are satisfied with an unsurprising and easy-going routine–not too sporadic or unpredictable like Aries Moons. They seek calm and quietness in their life with not much stress. It is particularly easier for these individuals to get overwhelmed–especially over an unexpected task added to their schedule. You will often notice that these people strive for financial stability in their personal goals because they know that it will give them the material comfort they hope to have. Furthermore, they are more inclined to do self-care and relaxation practices as it gives them a sense of self-esteem and levelheadness–they especially need it after a long day at work or school. Additionally, Moon in Taurus individuals prefer to take their life in getting their errands done, and they dislike being rushed. They may struggle with changing their routine or daily activities for any person or circumstance because it is what is appropriate for them. They should learn how to modify their schedule for important events and relationships.
moon in gemini ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Gemini seek learning, socialization, activity, and communication in their daily life and routine. These people are often striving to mentally challenge themselves and find ways to stimulate themselves all the time. That is why you will often find these individuals with chaotic and packed schedules, or they seem to always be occupied–it is because they are always hoping to learn something new, access their creativity and skill, or challenge their brain. They would like to spend their time playing puzzles, word searches, reading, or debating with certain groups. Furthermore, these folks are extremely social and always wanting to connect with their peers; they might seek to find time in the day to meet up with their friends. Additionally, they have the tendency of wanting to do everything they want to do all at once–and they can often get very disorganized and ungrounded while doing so. It is important for people with Moon in Gemini to learn how to take things slow and collect their thoughts and plans before everything turns into a mess.
moon in cancer ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Cancer seek comfort, security, emotional counsel, and familial connections in their daily life and routine. These people could adore spending time with their family members or their close loved ones immensely; they are the types to consider their cousins or siblings their true friends and desire to do everything with them. They could more than likely desire to spend time at home, and perhaps may prefer to work from home too. Additionally, with a person who has Moon in Cancer– you could find that mostly everything on their daily to-do list consists of errands they need to do surrounding the house (such as doing laundry, cleaning their room, etc.) They might also like taking care of people. It is integral for cancer moons to have a schedule in which they can feel safe and comfortable doing, especially in a sense where it is not far from home or their close connections. However, these people could easily become homesick or struggle to adhere to changes or circumstances far from their safe spot.
moon in leo ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Leo seek entertainment, creativity, and recognition in their daily life and routines. These people strongly value and prioritize their inner child and their ability to artistically express themselves. They could be particularly interested in the arts, music, performing, acting, or anything in which they can demonstrate themselves and their character in an inspiring way. These folks hope to find fun and excitement in their life through their hobbies and passions. In other words, these people do not function well in routines in which they do not have creative freedom or the time to indulge in their childish endeavors. Furthermore, Leo moons are generous and kind at heart. They are more than likely to be able to handle children for long periods of time; in fact, they could adore implementing kids into their daily routine. Additionally, they prefer to connect with others and spend time with loved ones in circumstances in which they can lead them by example. However, these individuals could instantly turn bratty or spoiled when things do not go their way. If their day seems to be going terrible, it is easy for them to become explosive or stubborn. Leo moons should learn to be more selfless when it comes to compromising their plans and endeavors within the day sometimes.
moon in virgo ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Virgo seek discipline, order, and practicality in their daily life and routines. They are the type of people to plan their entire day on a to-do list or structure it from start to finish. Furthermore, they value productivity and making good use of themselves and their time. So, you will usually see them working on a particular project, improving themselves in some way, or investing their time into developing a special skill. These folks prefer a system in their day-to-day activities, or otherwise, they’ll feel out of control with themselves. Although these people are particularly able to change their routines and create an entirely new structure, they prefer to keep things predictable–especially when it comes to dedicating themselves to specific future aspirations and ventures. One thing about them is that they will always work on their craft, one way or another. Additionally, virgo moons can also value cleanliness in their physical environment. It is easy for their mood to change if their environment isn’t aligned with their mindset, so they could prioritize cleaning their area and making sure every item is in the right place. However, they often have tendencies of being a control freak–expecting things to go the exact way they planned or trying to handle anything or anyone that disrupts their plans. This placement is also known for its perfectionism. These individuals need to work on their excessive need for things to be 100% flawless; it could easily lead them to stress and low self-esteem, making them believe that everything they do is wrong and that they need to reach up to their extremely high expectations. In other words, virgo moons need to learn how to calm down and accept that things can be imperfect and that they can make mistakes or “fail”.
moon in libra ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Libra seek peace, balance, and beauty in their daily life and routines. These people often strive for a clear and collected mind space; they hope to eliminate any conflict, confrontations, or issues in their life. They would often try to stabilize themselves through acts of meditation, self-care, socializing, or cleaning. Furthermore, these people often strive to romanticize their lives; it allows them to enjoy their circumstances better through the acts of art, beauty, reflection, and creativity. They adore investing in makeup, fashion, painting, music, and other pleasurable things. Additionally, they are one of the most social moon signs; they thrive when they interact with their interpersonal relationships. It makes them feel connected and close to the important people in their lives. One thing about Libra Moons is that they often try to go far to avoid conflicts, even if it is something they need to confront or take accountability for. This can often make them appear a bit indifferent or distant in times of disagreements and discordance. However, shoving issues into the backburner will not solve anything–they need to learn to confront conflicts and problems and handle them maturely.
moon in scorpio ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Scorpio seek privacy, intimacy, depth, and intensity in their daily life and routines. First and foremost, these people often prefer to undergo their errands and plans under the radar–they do not feel particularly comfortable with anyone knowing their next move. That is why you’ll often see that these folks do not post often on social media, or they dislike telling people what their plans are for the day. There could be an undertone of paranoia in why they choose not to do so. They just value their intimate space and refuse to let any outside energies intervene with it. So, they need secrecy more than anything. Furthermore, when it comes to activities, they also would like to do them with people who they hold very close–similar to Moon in Cancer–but they are more reserved and strict about it. When they are in a relationship, you’ll find that they would want to spend most of the time with their partner. It can almost get obsessive. It is important for these people to learn to not become obsessive with their loved ones or partners–to let go and learn independence in their quality time.
moon in sagittarius ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Sagittarius seek excitement, new experiences, and diversity in their daily life and routines. One thing about these folks is that they are always striving to be on the move–similar to their fire counterparts. They are always on the move for the next huge and exhilarating thing. You’ll find that these individuals desire to travel, go to parties, spend time with friends, or meet new people. However, they are also very intelligent and have a will to learn–so they also hope to gain a new perspective from these experiences and circumstances. These people might dedicate a certain time of the day to learning about a topic, investing in a religion, or studying a course. It is integral for these people to have a routine that gives them a new learning experience or something to have faith about; otherwise, these individuals could become hopeless or pessimistic. However, it is easy for these people to become overindulgent or lazy–not being considerate about the consequences or their future. There needs to be a balance between fun and seriousness.
moon in capricorn ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Capricorn seek achievement, structure, and influence in daily life and routines. Similar to virgo moons, they value being productive and useful with their time—in their case, they hope that their time could lead them to ultimate success and recognition. These people may like to work many hours or put in much time to their career endeavors. This often leaves them little to no quality time for their loved ones and friends. Furthermore, these folks are very patient and precise in their actions as they are able to build things from the ground up and maintain a vision for a long period of time. That is why they are often good planners and can easily build a business or company if they desired to. However, they need to make sure that they do not overwork themselves, isolate themselves from pleasures and socialization, and develop strong control issues; it could easily lead them down the road to stress, burn out, or depression. Additionally, since they are serious individuals, they may struggle with maintaining a balance outlook on the things they need to do and the things they do for the fun of it. They should learn how to maintain balance with work and pleasure—because one without the other could wreak havoc.
moon in aquarius ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Aquarius seek community, electrifying experiences, and goals in their daily life and routines. These people are always hoping to spend time with their community–people who are similar to them because they make them feel like they belong, and they adore making people feel like they belong as well. However, people tend to forget to give credit for how hardworking these folks are. They might dedicate most of their time in the day to working towards their hopes and dreams. These individuals desire to live a life in which everything is served to justice, equality, and peace–a place they can live in, a life they can adhere to. Therefore, these people are very dedicated to working towards their aspirations for the sake of themselves and the people they care about. Additionally, they strive for unpredictability in their routine. They want something different everyday in their errands–something erratic and thrilling. However, there could be too much unpredictableness to the point of instability in their actions. It is important to find a balance in that too.
moon in pisces ˚☽˚。⋆.
Individuals with Moon in Pisces seek imagination, spirituality, creativity, and the unknown in their daily life and routines. These people prefer to stay in their heads and work out the dreams and fantasies that they have in their mind. Even if they are forced to live in the practical world, it is important that pisces moons always operate from the place of visualizing their creative ideas and manifestations. These are the types to invest most of their time into different mediums of spirituality such as meditation, journaling, the occult, manifestation, or connecting to the unknown or spirit world. Furthermore, they would like to invest their energy into artistic hobbies such as photography, painting, drawing, music, fashion, or modeling. However, it is easy for these individuals to get lost in their subconscious and completely neglect their physical circumstances. There could even be instances in which they use vices to escape from the world (such as alcohol, drugs, or if they are in a relationship, a person) There seems to be this need for balance when it comes to the spiritual and the practical–perhaps even setting boundaries because these people are also very compassionate and kind. There could be times in which they feel the need to change their schedule for the sake of the people they care about even if they are not able to.
#astrology#natal chart#guxciestone#zodiac#astro observations#astro community#tarot#astrology observations#pick a card#tarot community
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Jupiter in the Houses [Solar Return]
1st House
This year, your sense of self expands, boosting your confidence and personal magnetism. You may feel more adventurous and willing to take risks, attracting opportunities for personal growth, travel, and new experiences. People are drawn to your positive energy, making it a great time for networking and forming beneficial relationships.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You may need to turn inward to reassess your beliefs and values. This introspection could lead to significant personal revelations, helping you realign with your true purpose. It’s a time to focus on personal growth from within, rather than seeking external validation.
2nd House
Financial abundance and material growth are highlighted this year. You may experience an increase in income or acquire valuable possessions, leading to greater financial security. This is an excellent time to invest or expand your resources.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You might need to reevaluate your approach to money and possessions. Are you placing too much importance on material wealth? This period encourages a shift in perspective, focusing more on what truly brings you security and fulfillment, beyond just financial gain.
3rd House
This year enhances your communication skills, making it a great time for learning, teaching, writing, or speaking. You’ll feel more curious and eager to expand your knowledge, so take advantage of new learning opportunities. Short trips, networking, and connections with siblings or neighbors are emphasized, bringing growth through your immediate environment.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You may need to revisit past conversations, ideas, or learning experiences. This is a time for deep reflection on how you communicate and connect with others. Are there outdated beliefs or communication patterns that need to be revised? Retrograde Jupiter invites you to refine your thoughts and how you express them.
4th House
Home and family life take center stage this year, with a focus on expanding your living situation or enhancing your sense of security. You may consider moving to a larger home, renovating, or deepening your family bonds. Emotional growth is also a key theme, encouraging you to nurture yourself and your loved ones.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You might need to revisit your roots or past family dynamics. This period can bring up old issues that require healing and resolution. It’s a time for introspection about your home life, asking whether your current environment truly supports your growth. Retrograde Jupiter encourages you to create a deeper emotional foundation.
5th House
Creativity, romance, and self-expression are emphasized this year. You may feel more playful and eager to explore new hobbies, artistic endeavors, or romantic relationships. This is a time for enjoying life’s pleasures and taking risks in matters of the heart.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You might find yourself rethinking your creative projects or romantic relationships. This period encourages you to delve deeper into what brings you joy and how you express yourself. Are you truly following your passions, or are there aspects of your life that need to be realigned with your authentic desires? Retrograde Jupiter in the 5th house calls for an introspective look at what makes you happy and fulfilled.
6th House
This year, there is a strong focus on health, daily routines, and work. You may find new opportunities for growth in your job, possibly leading to an increased workload but also greater rewards. This is an excellent time to improve your health through better habits and to find joy in your daily tasks. Helping others or working in service-oriented roles can bring fulfillment.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You may need to reassess your approach to work and health. Are your daily routines truly serving your well-being, or are they leading to burnout? This period encourages you to reflect on how you can create a more balanced and sustainable lifestyle. Retrograde Jupiter may also bring up unresolved issues related to your job or health, prompting you to make necessary adjustments.
7th House
Relationships and partnerships are a key theme this year. You may experience growth and expansion in your personal or business relationships, leading to new commitments or collaborations. This is a favorable time for forming beneficial alliances and enhancing your connection with others. There is a focus on mutual support, understanding, and shared goals.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You might need to revisit past relationships or unresolved issues within current partnerships. This period encourages deep reflection on how you relate to others. Are your relationships based on genuine connection and growth, or are there imbalances that need to be addressed? Retrograde Jupiter in the 7th house invites you to refine your approach to partnerships, ensuring they align with your higher values.
8th House
Transformation, shared resources, and deep psychological growth are emphasized this year. You may experience significant changes related to finances, such as investments, inheritances, or joint ventures. This is also a time for profound inner growth, exploring the deeper aspects of your psyche and undergoing personal transformation.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You may need to revisit issues related to shared resources or personal transformation. This period can bring up unresolved fears, insecurities, or power dynamics that require healing. Retrograde Jupiter in the 8th house encourages you to delve deep into your subconscious, releasing old patterns and embracing a more empowered and authentic self.
9th House
This year, your horizons are broadened through travel, higher education, or spiritual pursuits. You may feel a strong desire to explore new cultures, philosophies, or belief systems. This is an excellent time for academic or spiritual growth, as well as expanding your worldview. Opportunities for long-distance travel or learning new languages may arise.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You might need to reassess your beliefs, philosophies, or long-term goals. This period encourages you to reflect on your spiritual or educational journey. Are you truly aligned with your higher purpose, or are there outdated beliefs holding you back? Retrograde Jupiter in the 9th house invites you to deepen your understanding and realign with your true values.
10th House
Career advancement and public recognition are key themes this year. You may find opportunities for growth in your professional life, leading to promotions, awards, or a higher social status. This is a time to focus on your long-term goals and to take steps toward achieving them. Your reputation and public image are likely to improve, attracting positive attention and support.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You might need to reevaluate your career goals or public image. This period encourages introspection about your professional path. Are you truly fulfilled by your current career, or is it time for a change? Retrograde Jupiter in the 10th house asks you to consider whether your ambitions align with your deeper values and long-term vision.
11th House
Social connections, friendships, and group activities are highlighted this year. You may find yourself expanding your network, joining new groups, or becoming more involved in community activities. This is an excellent time for collaboration and working toward shared goals. Your hopes and dreams for the future are likely to be supported by others.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You might need to reassess your social connections or involvement in group activities. This period encourages you to reflect on whether your current social circle and collaborations are truly supportive of your goals. Retrograde Jupiter in the 11th house invites you to refine your vision for the future and ensure that your friendships and alliances align with your higher purpose.
12th House
This year, there is a focus on spiritual growth, introspection, and healing. You may feel drawn to retreat from the outer world, seeking solitude and inner peace. This is a time for deep self-reflection, meditation, and exploring the subconscious mind. Spiritual practices and charitable work can bring fulfillment and a sense of purpose.
If Jupiter is retrograde: You may need to confront unresolved issues from the past or hidden fears that have been holding you back. This period encourages deep inner work and healing, helping you release old patterns and embrace a more spiritual and compassionate approach to life. Retrograde Jupiter in the 12th house invites you to reconnect with your inner self, finding wisdom and guidance from within.
#astrology#astrology community#astroblr#astrology observations#astro notes#astrology tumblr#astrology readings#houses in astrology#astro community#solar return notes#solar return chart#solar return#jupiter in the houses#jupiter
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learn indifference ⋆˙✧⋆
indifference = “lack of interest, lack of concern”
since we already know the 3d is always neutral and has no original meaning, we know that as the operant power we are the ones that assign ‘circumstances’ and ‘negative’ thoughts meaning.
we should continue being indifferent to the 3d meaning we dont care how it looks because it never means anything. being indifferent means no giving the 3d power, energy, no entertaining thoughts that dont serve us, no holding our desires above the pedestal, no accepting and creating stories based on our current 3d and dwelling in them.
remember that we are not our thoughts, we are not our circumstances, we are not our emotions, doubts, states, or anxieties. our past experiences have no power over us until we decide it does.
how to be indifferent:
be internally fulfilled (satisfy your inner self w the desire which is now reality) so that you feel the knowing of already having your desire which means it will be easier to not give a fuck about the 3d
accept the end and only the end: know that the 3d could be changing in your favor for example, a lady was manifesting a better high paying job and she got fired from her current job for whatever reason. because she got fired, someone recommended her to a new job which was higher paying and she got that job (which was what she wanted). imagine if she accepted the 3d when she lost her job instead of only accepting the end goal. this is why nothing in the 3d matters and why the 3d cant be trusted. whatever you see, dont identify with “this isnt working” blah blah blah because you should be practicing indifference like that lady. she didnt gaf about the 3d and continued accepting she was already her desired self
trust the law: the law is always working and failure does not exist. you identify as a desired version of you and fulfill? ok now its done. theres nothing else to do but continue being that person. dont let anything in the 3d crash you down. dont even entertain the option of “failure”
know the 3d is a reflection of imagination: it has no mind of its own. the only thing it knows how to do is reflect self/imagination so know that at every moment, you always call the shots. this is all you so why care or validate the 3d when its only a reflection of you?
hold yourself higher on the pedestal: when you put yourself (inner self/imagination) first, you become attached to anything else. finding validation in yourself only instead of the 3d. when you want something, immediately fulfill yourself with in imagination instead of searching for fulfillment in the 3d
stop giving the 3d attention: have you ever heard of “whatever you focus on grows”? when you find yourself being aware of the 3d, just shift you attention elsewhere
“As the end is accepted, you become totally indifferent as to possible failure, for acceptance of the end wills the means to that end. When you emerge from the moment of prayer, it is as though you were shown the happy and successful end of a play although you were not shown how that end was achieved.” - ng
“The best denial is total indifference. Things wither and die through indifference. They are kept alive through attention. You do not deny a thing by saying it does not exist. Rather you put feeling into it by recognizing it, and what you recognize as true, is true to you, be it good, bad or indifferent.” - nd
before indifference: *allowing negative thoughts to consume you, accepting the 3d ‘negative circumstances’ as true, when you imagine something and look at the 3d you feel easily discouraged and start to be a victim to it, feeling like you have to ignore the 3d because youre scared of it, you feel the need to search for answers in the 3d all day because you see it as more important than it actually is, you are attached to the 3d and your mood changes when a single little thing looks “bad”*
after indifference: *nothing in the 3d shakes who you are being in imagination because you know who you are internally being is the only truth, you dont care about experiencing things in the 3d that are the opposite of your desire because you know you always call the shots, if you get discouraged you get your ass back up and know yourself to be the operant power, you arent attached to the 3d and searching for its validation*
so when you are indifferent to the 3d, you dont care about it, you arent afraid of it, you know it holds no importance or original meaning therefore you dont let it influence who you are being in imagination. think about when people pass by a homeless person on the street: they might think about it in the moment but most of them would go thro the rest of their day forgetting about it because they just didnt care. think about that one person who always knows they look good and their jealous friend tells them they look bad: that person would not care about outside voices because they know that they look good and they only accept internal validation
your only job is accepting the desire that the inner self experiences, as true while being indifferent to the experiences of the human self
kisses, jani ☆
#etherealkissed🎀#etherealkissed#loa blog#manifesting#law of assumption#loassumption#edward art#neville goddard#imagination creates reality#loastates#affirm and persist
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My 2 Cents
So, one of the follow up questions I asked was
"are you willing to recognize that you have a willing tolerance for antiblackness? That there is a certain amount that you are okay with allowing before thinking it's worth speaking up?"
My goal in asking this question is not to cause you shame (though shame is not inherently a bad thing).
No, the goal is for you to practice active honesty with yourself! Be willing to accept the decisions You made!
You cannot confront- and therefore address- your own racism if you aren't willing to admit to when you're doing and allowing it. Ibram X Kendi's How To Be An Antiracist touches on this topic, of how racism and anti racism are a series of choices, not identities! Here's an article discussing it:
"No one is born racist or antiracist; these result from the choices we make. Being antiracist results from a conscious decision to make frequent, consistent, equitable choices daily. These choices require ongoing self-awareness and self-reflection as we move through life. In the absence of making antiracist choices, we (un)consciously uphold aspects of white supremacy, white-dominant culture, and unequal institutions and society. Being racist or antiracist is not about who you are; it is about what you do."
My personal fan example (and you knew this was coming 🤣) is Hades. I recognized that Patroclus' design is a white man in all but his ashy dark brown skin. It was a racist design, meant to be "representation", and I thoroughly disdain it. It wasn't enough to stop me from buying the game and enjoying it. I made a choice, to settle for mediocre representation so that I could enjoy a character I like! I still spoke up about racist and colorist fan designs, hoping that at least fans may be more receptive to not replicating racism (but that's otros veinte pesos 😬).
I'd naively hoped that maybe they'd do better the second time; maybe their actions were from ignorance! Maybe they'd learn! A *snicker* sage old man once said:
"fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again."
Jokes on Dubya aside, I knew that I was already discontent with the designs in the first game, but I allowed it for my own enjoyment. I acknowledge that. But I had to be honest with myself the second time: if the lack of effort in the dark-skinned character design bothered me so much, and I spent all that time speaking out on it the first time... what do I look like then going to spend money on the sequel game doing it again? Do I really stand for what I said I stand for? Can I ask others to stand for what I stand for, if I don't really stand for it?
That time, I said "no". I decided I'd reached how much I was willing to put up with. I had to accept the consequences of speaking on that choice, including risking being rejected by a creative space I really wanted to be a part of. It is what it is. And it's one of many choices I'll actively make for the rest of my life. Comfort v The Right Thing.
Anyway, these are the sorts of conversations you'll have to have with yourself. Coming to terms with your choices along the journey will better help you identify just how much you're willing to sit on, and whether you want to make a difference about that. You might recognize when you're making a long streak of decisions that suggest you care less than you'd like to think; you might find out you've swallowed more than enough! But you gotta be honest about your own role in it!
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morality / ethics / one's character headcanon q's
is your muse opposed to violence?
does your muse often lie by omission?
how often does your muse self-reflect?
how good is your muse at setting boundaries?
does your muse believe some death is justified?
what importance does your muse place on rules?
is your muse one to follow through on their word?
does your muse think some laws are fine to break?
does your muse feel strongly about helping others?
does your muse think of themselves as a good person?
does your muse often butt up against authority figures?
does your muse feel motivated by recognition and praise?
what answer would your muse give to the trolley problem?
does your muse think it's important to help those less fortunate?
how would your muse respond to seeing a crime being committed?
what would your muse be willing to sacrifice to achieve their goals?
is your muse overly competitive? would others describe them as such?
does your muse have self-control? are they in in control of their impulses?
are there any morals your muse learned in childhood that they still live by?
does your muse believe it's justified to hurt one person to protect another?
how often does your muse find themselves disagreeing with established rules?
what does your muse think of the saying, "treat others as you want to be treated"?
does your muse consider themselves petty? would others describe them that way?
would your muse consider themselves entitled? would others describe them that way?
how often does your muse lie? Do they regret lying or do they feel their lies are justified?
are there any morals your muse learned in childhood that they disagree with / no longer live by?
is your muse loyal to those in their lives? does their loyalty tend to be genuine or can it be bought?
does your muse accept responsibility for mistakes, or are they prone to making excuses to avoid it?
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✨️Pick a Picture: ✨️💙Who were you in your past life?💙✨️
•Pile 1 •Pile 2 •Pile 3
❗️This is a collective reading, take what resonates and leave the rest❗️
✨️Paid Services ✨️ (Natal charts and tarot readings) Open!
✨️If you like my work you can support me through Ko-fi. Thank you!✨️
💙Masterlist💙
🧡Pile 1:
You were a kind and empathetic person. From a young age, you always showed a genuine interest in others, which made you a great friend and confidant. You had an infectious laugh that brightened up any environment and an innate ability to listen. People often felt comfortable sharing their thoughts and concerns with you.
Despite your optimistic nature, you also had your reflective side. You often took time to think about your experiences and emotions, which helped you grow and learn from each situation. At times, you could be a little self-critical, but you used that introspection to improve and move forward.
You were loyal and committed to your friends and family, and always willing to offer your support. You believed strongly in the importance of building meaningful relationships and being a pillar in the lives of those around you. You had a quiet and happy life, maybe in some ways you felt it was a great life but you weren't entirely satisfied; For this reason, perhaps you seek a little more time, to take more risks.
🧡Significant things: Color orange and blue, royal vibe, long blond hair, polar bears, spring season, letters, delicate handwritting, flowers, pearls.
💙Pile 2:
You lived in an environment marked by uncertainty. You grew up in a neighborhood where it was though to evolve, and the lack of opportunities seemed overwhelming. Despite this i see that you always showed curiosity about the world around you, seeking refuge in your hobbies, I think many of them had to do with writing and books.
Despite your strength, sadness always accompanied you, I feel that others did not quite undestood you. In the end, although you achieved some significant achievements, such as finishing your education and finding a job that you really liked, I feel that you were a born educator.
Life taught you hard lessons about resilience and loss, but it also led you to discover a deep empathy towards others. There's a lot of things to learn about this, start to listen to your inner voice and don't let others dictate your path.
💙Significant things: Books, Writers, 1950's-1960's, Jazz music, Owls, Brown and Green colors, curly long hair, piano, birds.
🩷Pile 3:
You felt a deep connection to the world around you. You grew up in a small town where nature played an important role in your life. As the years passed, you began to explore your spirituality. You were drawn to the teachings of different cultures and traditions, and often spent your evenings reading about philosophy and meditation.
You learned to listen to your inner voice, feeling a connection beyond the tangible. However, life also presented you with challenges. The loss of a loved one hit you deeply, leading you to question your faith and your purpose. In the midst of grief, you realized that suffering could be a path to transformation. As your life progressed, you felt more aligned with your purpose. In your later years, you found deep gratitude for each day lived.
Life had taught you that spirituality was not only a path to personal understanding, but also a way to connect with others and the universe. You felt at peace, knowing that your journey, with all its lights and shadows, had been a priceless gift. You need to start valuing your spiritual gift, maybe you accept them for granted sometimes, but they can give you the warmth you need.
🩷Significant things: Runes and Stones, violet and red color, dark hair and clear eyes, Charisma and cleverness, owls and cats, winter season, jewerly, round face, youthful look.
✨️Thank you for reading and tell me if it resonated✨️
#astrology placements#zodiac#astrology#astrology moodboard#astro blog#astro community#astro notes#astro observations#paid tarot readings#tarot and astrology#tarot reading#tarot cards#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot#pac reading#pac#pac paid reading#paid readings#fashion#tarot related#tarot requests#tarot pick a card#tarot pac#tarot pick a pile#pick a picture#pick a pile#pick a card#pick a photo#hatsune miku
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໒⦂ 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐂𝐒.
synopsis. a compilation of headcanons that showcase the dating experience of the first class SOLDIER boys — along with a certain self proclaimed one..
genre. fluff + crack
ft. sephiroth, cloud strife, zack fair, genesis rhapsodos, angeal hewley
gender neutral! reader.
➫ 𝓢���𝗣𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗛 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ what’s it like dating sephiroth? it’s along the lines of sneaking around to meet at your most favorite spots, learning how to love, delicate touches and kisses, elements of forbidden romance, healing and deep conversations involving lots of reassurance.
⌗ sephiroth isn’t very familiar with physical affection, it’s something he never had the luxury of experiencing all his life.. so he would be a bit awkward with it, confused even, but he’s willing to learn cuz he wants to bond with you more! that and he’s hella touch starved.. although he won’t say🙁
⌗ love language, let’s see.. he also seems like the acts of service kinda guy, but values words of affirmation — whether towards himself or towards you. he doesn’t want his unwarranted popularity to bring you doubt of your own worth, but he also wants to hear he’s enough for you, since he, um, doesn’t view himself in the best light.. sobs.
⌗ the first date.. well, i would think you guys would have been together during the crisis core era cuz like.. after nibelheim.. kinda hard. unless you have jenova cells😭 anyways- the first date! he was not sure on where to take you, given his schedule and just him not um being sure on where to take you.. somehow, though, you ended up at a beautiful library, straight out of a fairytale setting. how he found such a hidden gem in midgar of all places stayed unknown to you, but it was such a lovely outing together<3 he seemed so carefree and at ease ( im sobbing. )
⌗ if anybody dares talk shit about sephiroth or make him feel outcasted, inhuman — whatever they have made him feel — BEAT THEM UP!! although, not actually.. because he won’t let you😐 still, he finds it sweet that despite his power and capability of ending somebody’s career — you won’t hesitate for even a second to stand up for him. likewise, if people dare to hurt you in anyway, it’s on sight.
⌗ ah, the i love you.. he would take a minute to say it because he’s still trying to understand the concept of love and process that you actually feel that way about him. but you wouldn’t say it first — he would. because you want him to say it when he feels it’s right, cuz you don’t wanna pressure him or anything..
⌗ sephiroth became a father of a very, very adorable feline friend that you surprised him with one day to keep him company. he was confused at first — but has grown fond of the cat and it’s his best friend now. they have the same eye color too and the cat has silver fur!!
➫ 𝓒𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗗 𝓢𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗙𝗘 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ what’s it like dating cloud? it’s late nights underneath the stars, comforting words and squeezes, a rollercoaster of challenges that you will have to overcome in order to be with one another.. and emotional constipation on his end for sure, but he’s trying his best!
⌗ cloud isn’t exactly the easiest with pda, he gets embarassed easily and doesn’t seem like the type to uh.. want people watching him do something outside of his norm? not really the spotlight loving type despite the wall market arc.. but he is okay with handholding and locking pinkies even too<3
⌗ his love language, hm.. i think it would be acts of service on the giving end, and for the receiving end, i think words of affirmation would suit his wants. he just wants to make sure he’s doing okay for you, every now and again he needs to hear it. otherwise i do see physical affection behind curtains.. he’s not openly expressive on it — has a hard time asking for stuff🥹
⌗ first date, uhh.. i think he would’ve gotten with you by the advent children timeline, just because he wants to do some reflection and y’know get the angst out of his system.. but anyway, the date i think would be a drive on fenrir ( his motorcycle.. ) to the outskirts of edge, somewhere the stars can be seen. it’s simple, nothing complex, just to unwind and enjoy the other’s company.
⌗ cloud tends to get nightmares a lot, i mean, bro has unresolved trauma.. and doesn’t have all his memories back because of that. so i feel he would have developed insomnia or just fears going to sleep. when this happens, i imagine later down the line when you are comfy with each other, be there for him!! company helps, always<3
⌗ for the i love you.. well, i think you’ll probably be the one to say it first — but verbatim. cloud, however, would be the one to say it first.. but without actually saying those three words.
⌗ while cloud has a very idgaf attitude and demeanor, he won’t hesitate to kick ass if someone speaks bad on you or does anything harmful towards you. bro literally used to brawl with kids back in nibelheim😭 if he hears any shit spoken on you or sees you getting pushed around, the buster is coming tf out🫡 or well, i suppose first tsurugi if it’s ac..
➫ 𝓩𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝓕𝗔𝗜𝗥 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ what’s it like dating zack fair? a total fever dream that makes you feel like a school girl in love, surprise attack hugs, being dragged to all sorts of places for dates, phone calls when you are apart and can’t sleep, convenience store trips at super odd hours and avoiding your responsibilities at shinra!
⌗ bro is so about pda, he can’t keep his hands off you!! wants to hug and hold you as much as possible, truly a puppy🥸 in public he likes to hold hands and walks with a skip in his step cuz he’s just so happy to be around you, also likes to wrap an arm around you for close proximity<3 doesn’t shy away from physical touch basically!
⌗ love language.. definitely physical affection, bro is totally the clingy type.. but i also believe he would value it a lot tbh — giving as well as receiving! then there’s acts of service, cuz i think that would also be his thing based on him telling aerith to make a list of her wishes for him.. OH, OH AND QUALITY TIME!! can’t forget that🙃
⌗ the first date was at costa del sol!! cc era too cuz um.. well.. y’know.. zack needed a break away from SOLDIER activities and hitting the beach seemed like a good way to go! catch some rays, chase those waves, maybe some volleyball, bbq and smoothies!! if you think it’s gonna be a relaxing day.. it’s probably gonna be a shit load of different activities.. but don’t worry!! you’ll get the absolute best sleep EVER afterwards. guaranteed!!
⌗ zack is a pretty emotional person, he feels very easily so if you’re hurt or upset, he aches for you. he rlly wants you to be happy, doesn’t want to see your smile taken away, ever. so he does everything in his power to ensure your happiness and if it’s people who have brought you sadness, then oh boy, they have another thing coming..
⌗ he kinda blurts the i love you out first without thinking tbh, it just comes out and he has the widest grin on his face when he says it. he fr doesn’t know what he’s doing to you, no matter how flustered or warm your chest feels, he’s so nonchalant about it😭 like why should he wait when he knows how he feels??
⌗ angeal had to give him a long ass talk about dating, honor, treating you well — you name it, your average angeal lecture🫡 but romance edition.. featuring genesis ( and sephiroth in the background smiling apologetically )
➫ 𝓖𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝓡𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗢𝗦 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ what’s it like dating genesis? it’s like being in a fairytale or movie, having poetry recited to you on the daily to further emphasize his love, getting spoiled endlessly, touches that leave you wanting more and ending up with the prince of your dreams.. kinda.
⌗ he is very much about pda! likes to display that you are his, holds you in his arms at any chance he gets, peppers you with slow, yet lingering kisses that leaves you completely touch starved😪 angeal has to scold him sometimes when he takes too long saying goodbye, especially if they have to go on missions..
⌗ love language would be a mixture between gift giving and physical affection, but i could also see him wanting words of affirmation. i mean he feels like he’s the failed attempt at being sephiroth, believes that the top hero spot should be his and all.. but otherwise, giving gifts to you would definitely be smtn he’d wanna do, especially if his missions are outside of midgar.
⌗ ah, the first date.. well, once again your best chance at being with him would have to have been during the cc timeline cuz bro dips.. but anyway!! the date.. well, strap yourself in cuz you’re going to a living showing of genesis’ favorite, loveless. yes, yes he takes you to a play. how can he not? it’s his favorite work of literature, and he wants to share that love with you too!! he’ll dress you up fancy beforehand, bought you a whole outfit😵💫
⌗ circling back to the reassurance thing.. despite his arrogance, he feels like he’s not good enough a lot. feels like a failed project in a sense, and views himself as less because of his degradation — it’s just a slow burn for him. but a little bit of affirmation on your end and the promise of wanting him for him helps a lot<3
⌗ who said i love you first.. hm, he seems like the type to say it without actually saying those specific words. i think he would have said it several times via poetry before you fully register that this man fr said he loved you. awkward on your end. but when the pieces finally clicked together, butterflies swarmed your stomach hella but you adored every minute of it🫶
⌗ he shows off his relationship with you at any chance he gets to sephiroth and zack, angeal kinda but not really.. but he’s just super proud to have you as his and makes sure that it’s known among his colleagues at shinra😭 clown behavior fr but you love it anyway, it’s always nice to feel wanted — even if your man is flashy about it..
➫ 𝓐𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝓗𝗘𝗪𝗟𝗘𝗬 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗
⌗ what’s it like dating angeal? being treated with lots of care and gentleness, bit of a mom for a boyfriend at times cuz he wants to make sure you’re taken care of, cradling your face in his hands like you’re his everything and saving you no matter the odds, like a guardian angel.
⌗ pda won’t um.. be so much, bro is very respectful of space and has to be proper or whatever because of honor!! that and he kinda has an image to upkeep, especially with zack around — gotta show the right example of having a significant other! but when you’re alone, he likes to hold you close and just enjoy your presence tbh
⌗ the love language.. let me see, i think he would be a mixture between acts of service and quality time. he enjoys being with you and any company he can get when he isn’t called on missions or babysitting training zack. when he can’t be present, he does things for you to express his love — genesis urges him to!!
⌗ okay let’s see.. the first date, well — again, cc timeline here too since he also, um, leaves.. ANYWAY. where was the location of the first date, you might ask, well.. the museum tbh! i think he would enjoy the calmness of it and just looking at different works of art.. except his most favorite work would fr distract him from any other scenes — that being you. so plan failed on his end, but you had enjoyed yourself lots, and that made him happy to witness🫶
⌗ the amount of panic he would feel if he saw you hurt, like bro is meant to protect you — he promised that he would.. so angeal would feel like he failed you in a sense for not being there to prevent your pain, but you remind him that he’s there now and that you feel safe again, grounded in spite of the hurt you earlier felt.
⌗ i think the first i love you would come from you cuz he just.. wouldn’t know the right time or chance to say it LMAO so you end up saying it which brings this look of shock to his face, but then a warm smile would stretch across his lips, knowing you felt the same as he did<3
⌗ can’t sleep? he’s got plenty of stories to tell about his childhood and some silly events during his missions. it feels foreign to hear this lighthearted, less mature side to him, but it’s also a breath of fresh air and makes you feel special that he allows you to see this more relaxed side to him that isn’t a stoic overly responsible SOLDIER🗣️
notes. whew oh boy uhh second time writing ffvii, i hope it turned out okay :’) i kinda wrote these out of order so some might seem longer or shorter but i hope you guys enjoy!! ik it’s different from the fandoms i write for, but welp this is where my brain has been🫡
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#— ; 🏹 ) final fantasy vii fics.#sephiroth#cloud strife#ff7#zack fair#genesis rhapsodos#angeal hewley#final fantasy#final fantasy vii#final fantasy 7#sephiroth x y/n#sephiroth x you#sephiroth x reader#ffvii#ff#cloud strife x reader#cloud strife x you#cloud strife x y/n#zack fair x reader#zack fair x you#zack fair x y/n#genesis rhapsodos x reader#genesis rhapsodos x you#genesis rhapsodos x y/n#angeal hewley x reader#angeal hewley x y/n#angeal hewley x you#final fantasy 7 x reader#ffvii crisis core#agszc
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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Validate Yourself & Stop People Pleasing
A comprehensive guide to learn love & trust yourself and break out of your people-pleasing identity. Hope this helps xx
HOW TO MASTER THE ART OF SELF-VALIDATION:
Remember the longest relationship you have in life is the one with yourself. While we all need an external support system to be well-rounded & healthy individuals, no one else will be with you throughout your entire life except for you. So, acting as your own best friend is the secret to living your happiest and most fulfilling life. You ultimately need to do what's best for you. Otherwise, you're damaging the only relationship you will have to confront in every aspect and stage of your life.
Acknowledge your humanity and fundamental right to have needs, goals, and personal desires. Validate your personhood and individuality. Remember you're only human and are bound to have your own physical/emotional limitations and preferences. If you would be willing to cater to others' schedules, boundaries, and limitations, give yourself this equal level of respect and expect others to do the same.
Know everyone is self-centered to a certain degree. No one cares about your happiness as much or is watching you as closely as you are. They all have themselves and their lives to worry about. People are paying attention to their own self-interests (or want you to accomplish things to boost their own credibility or self-esteem). Being your greatest personal cheerleader is the only way to fully give yourself the praise and spotlight you deserve for your accomplishments.
Self-confidence is magnetic. It is the secret to showing up as your best self in all areas of life. Being secure in yourself makes you a better friend, family member, lover, partner, spouse, professional, conversationalist, etc. Validating yourself will make you feel good, but also radiates into every relationship or interaction in your life.
Discover what you love about yourself. Reflect on the personality traits, skillsets, and behaviors you know to be admirable about yourself. Are you constantly making others laugh? Do you get endless praise for your cooking, drawing, singing, or problem-solving skills? Would people come to you first to manage a crisis like a champion? Are you a master disciplinarian when it comes to going to the gym or reading? Do people regularly compliment your outfits or nails? Think of all of the aspects of your being that make you unique and help you to feel content with your existing, authentic self.
Take control of your life to cultivate your ideal self. While you should consistently praise your naturally admirable qualities, remember that you always can change aspects of your life that will help you feel like your best self. Know that you're in control of your decisions and have the mental freedom to think & act in any way you desire to reach any goals or implement lifestyle changes to feel like the person you feel destined to be.
Block out the noise and negative self-talk. We're (almost always!) our worst critics. Consider every new experience or interaction as a learning opportunity. Mistakes and failures are life lessons that facilitate self-reflection and opportunities for growth. Remember not to beat yourself up for past mistakes: You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. If you weren't embarrassed by your past self, you never gave yourself the chance to evolve and grow. Every success, failure, and new life stage offers its own lessons and teachable moments. Remember that we're all our own unique life paths. Comparing your life to someone else's is like comparing apples and oranges. Both entities may be fruitful but have vastly different flavor profiles, growing seasons, and rates at which they ripen. As Dita Von Tesse shrewdly said: "You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there will always be someone who hates peaches."
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE PLEASING:
Acknowledge that people-pleasing is a form of self-neglect. By prioritizing another person's desires or approval above your own, you're ultimately neglecting your physical, emotional, energetic, or spiritual needs. Consider acting in your best in your own best interest as an act of self-care that safeguards your well-being.
Set boundaries. State your limitations, calmly, clearly, and directly. Understand that boundaries are your response to other people's actions, not a means to control other people's behavior. An expectation would be to ask someone not to call you during the workday. A boundary is stating that you will not pick up the phone during the workday and will only make/return calls in the evening after leaving the office.
Communicate your needs & expectations clearly. While you can't control what others will do, being upfront with your needs and expectations can eliminate unnecessary stress, logistical issues, misplaced hurt feelings, or disappointment in any type of relationship. Direct communication between parties will allow you both to respect each other's boundaries and to prioritize interactions that are mutually more positive, helpful, and emotionally nourishing.
Express your "no" freely (and without over-explaining). Remember that "No" is a complete sentence. You do not owe someone your time or emotional energy simply because they asked or expect you to do something/attend an event out of perceived obligation/guilt or simply to make someone else happy. Making sure you're okay is your first priority. Feel free to say "no" to any requests that would emotionally drain you, make you overextend yourself, or compromise any of your personal values/goals/priorities. You don't need to justify your needs. Just kindly decline, and let it be.
Remain consistent with your boundaries & priorities. People will treat you how you let them treat you. Once you set a boundary or share your priorities will someone, stick to these words through your actions to show you're serious about how you expect to be treated. Teach people how to interact with you in a way that doesn't feel self-sacrificing. No one will respect your boundaries and priorities if you don't and are easily swayed to forgo these self-imposed standards on a day-to-day or case-by-case basis.
Consider the long-term consequences of people-pleasing. While it may appease immediate conflict or anxiety, people-pleasing offers a one-way ticket to resentment and misplaced anger. By ignoring our own needs for the sake of others, we place unspoken expectations on these individuals' obligations to reciprocate our emotional labor – whether it be with their future actions or matching our generosity with unprompted favors or emotional support. We start keeping score as we continuously give ourselves over to others of perceived obligation. When someone doesn't return the favor, we get upset, despite never expressing this expectation of someone else or that we're even self-sacrificing in any way. This can lead to us feeling depleted or guilt-tripping others, and from their perspective, seemingly out of nowhere. It is best to remember we always have a choice whether to give to others and it should be of a genuine desire, love, or support for the other person – not as a way to gain external validation or manipulate a situation to create a false sense of obligation that we keep ourselves or the receiving party beholden to. Think of your energy, time, and personal resources given to others as a gift, not a bargaining chip.
#self love#self worth#self healing#healing journey#mirror work#higher self#self confidence#self care#inner child#inner work#self esteem#it girl#self help#femme fatale#dark femininity#dark feminine energy#queen energy#high value mindset#high value woman#the feminine urge#dream girl#female excellence#female power#success mindset#femmefatalevibe#emotional validation#glow up#boundaries#people pleaser#glow up era
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Ayo, someone by the name of Curly-B-Blog is redlining art of yours from 2020 (while pretending that it's actually Sai Scribble's work), and kind of being a dick about it. just thought you should know.
You know, originally I was just gonna brush it off, but then I went back to look at my old SU art from 2020 and did so much self reflection from then till now.
I think this was around the time I was just learning how to do perspective and tried to use the perspective tool on Procreate for the first time? :0 and I remember telling Sai “Sai I have this STUPID idea, I CANT believe it this stupid joke it’s so DUMBBBB, it’s living rent free in my BRAIN I SWEAR THIS IS GONNA BE SO STUPID DCIUWHEFIUWHIRFUIW4F” and being super excited to show her the finished product. People still think Sai created the Cursed Skin Gloves comic and I think it’s hilarious wjhwnuhwijwuiw
The comic was received very well and it made LOTS of people laugh and I’m still proud of this comic to this very day! :D and tbh if it wasn’t for my obsession for Sai’s Switcheroo AU I never would have found my passion in comic work! (love you you stinky hoe @saiscribbles 🩷)
HOWEVER…. I definitely still had lots to learn! I wasn’t very good at perspective at the time I’ll admit, but I was definitely having lots of fun learning :3
And throughout the past 4 years, ALOT has happened.
I graduated from college with TWO fancy pieces of expensive papers in Visual Development in Animation and Illustration learning from Will Kim and Jeff Soto, and as a I was working with the funny voice man Cougar MacDowall as a comic/story artist and reached in total around 7 million views for my fan series FNAF Security Malware Breached (it was even #21 on the trending list around the time of my birthday 🩷 what a lovely gift), had an insane opportunity to work with Mike Geno and with the voice cast from The Amazing Digital Circus for a fan song as a background and character asset artist, Vivienne Medrano liking and sharing my silly Overlord Husk AU comics, currently on my route to getting my certificate from Aaron Blaise’s Character design program and graduating from Marc Brunet Art School, and now I am completing my first year as professional colorist and art assistant for my storyboard and comic mentor Michelle Lam, aka Mewtripled! (Also I’ll be heading out to Lightbox Expo 2024 on October 26 with Michelle and the team so if y’all ever wanna meetup hahahajaj wink wink wink wink wink)
So you can say I learned ALOT and I enjoyed every minute of what I do :D I try to be humble about my accomplishments because blah blah being humble good yes yes but this time I wanna be selfish and say HELL YEAH I DID ALL THIS!!! AND IM SO EXTREMELY PROUD OF MYSELF FIUGEIURGERGGRS
Now here’s my most recent comic page that I posted like 2 days ago without the text.
That’s pretty freakin wild to me, I can’t believe I used to draw Steven Universe art like that back in 2020 LOL LIKE GUYS I DREW THIS!! WITH!!! MY HANDS!!! IS THAT NOT INSANE!!!???
Anyways moral of the story:
Learn from everyone and everything! Yes, even then mean ones too! If you can learn to work with anyone, I promise you’ll get to where you want to be faster. People can be a little mean on the internet, but that shouldn’t stop you from being where you want to be in the future. I’m so EXTREMELY grateful for all the opportunities and to all the kind professionals who were willing to give me a chance. Seriously, I’m so graciously thankful for everything, and I hope everyone here will support me and my silly little comics I will do now and in the future!
And one more thing:
Don’t be a jerk. Be to be nice to everyone :D nothing good comes out when you’re bad to everyone.
#celestial’s life lessons#be kind or else 🔪#anyways I gotta go back to work#I also need to draw gay demons kissing byEEEE#ask
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THE POWER OF VENUS: SENSUAL AURA; HOW MUCH POWER DOES YOUR BEAUTY CONTAIN?
For Venus Day I wanted to do something special. My favorite girlies are the choices for this reading. Pick which one resonates with you the most, and take a look at each pile ! Have fun!
PILE 1 - AALIYAH - 'The Loveable Child, Aura As Magical As The Clouds.'
You're aura has a mystical charm. Deep inside the inner self is a magical energy that puts people in awe. Your gentleness captivates people and your ability to see the beauty in all that is around you is what makes you much more magical. Your sensual energy is capable of proving a point, being a star is your mission if you have this placement. Because your divine essence is what attracts others to you and others are willing to help you in your mission, desires, dreams, goals, etc.
Message: Be quiet. Not everyone needs to know your mind. Be yourself but be quiet about the things you know. Take it easy, not everyone can be as high in the clouds as you. Heaven's Child.
Numbers & Colors : 333, 555, 777, 111, Pink, Yellow, Green Lavender
Animals : Skunks & Deers (Bambi)
Themes : Loveable, Kind, Sweetness, Adorable
PILE 2 - SELENA - 'A Dream Come True'
Whew. This one is magnetic and its BIG. Big in a way that you can feel it however you're not sure what it is. Your sensual grace forms a lesion of people to honor you no matter how you look. Your charm is essential to awakening the divine feminine in you and others. You have gifts in singing if you've pick this one, as your singing qualities is like a bee being attracted to honey, its calming, tasteful and filled with valuable energy.
Message: You are captivating, never allow jealous or envious beings bring you back to a place that kept you in depression. Leave now. Don't allow them to sink this ship, God sent you to them to heal.
Numbers & Colors : Rainbow , Green, Blue, Orange,
Animals : Gazelles, Lions, Cheetahs, Hamsters & Guinea Pigs
Themes: Bravery, Resilience, Determination, Power
PILE 3 - SALMA HAYEK - 'Witch; Powerful and Formidable Aura'
A Goddess. It is she who walks the darkest roads that comes out on top and flows like no other. Your charm and power holds so much weight. People stop and stare at you from a far. In a daze, no man or woman can stop looking at your psychique and the power you hold can make anyone be hypnotized by your spark. You have a gift in setting the room on fire, holding up the magic in the room and making it fold to your bidding. Powerful qualities in sensual abilities and manifestation abilities are stronger with this group. You have the gift of getting your desires through the power of your charm and ability to be seen in your raw nakedness, take that as you will.
Your flow intimidates people, but your charm is what keeps them running back ;)
Message: Know when to be seen or be heard. Appreciate the joy in being a 'bitch'. Allowing others in just because you said so. Boundaries are not a kept secret, tell them off. Let them know it.
Numbers & Colors : Pink, Red, Magenta & Purple, 1111, 222, 333, 444, 555, 666, 111
Animals : Serpents & Octopus
Themes: Being who you are, Lilith, Oceans are connected to this group.
PILE 4 - BEYONCE - 'Look at me now'
This group is undergoing a big transformation! If not now it's on the way. No enemy shall prosper with this group. Now back to the reading, you guys have an immense power that is connected to a faerie like charm. Very pretty and magical. If you picked this group you may have a venusian energy that connects to a Goddess (this is for you to go within and seek). A high priestess energy from this group and a aura that is valuable no man and woman shouldn't dare come to you without a gift or even an honorable mention. Do what you will with that.
Message: Learn to appreciate the world as is, its just a minor reflection of whats inside of you. Speak highly to others as well as yourself. Be kind to you and to others and watch mountains open for you.
Numbers & Colors: Yellow & Pink, 3333, 444, 888, 1111
Themes: Goddess, Queenlike, Ochun, Pyramids, The world revolves around you, make it happen.
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The Boyfriend Experience - EM
Author's Note: This is very personal to me. I wrote this about my experieces and facts about myself. Which I know isn't very reader insert friendly but as my friend @boomhauer had said, for all I know, I'm not alone in this. This will be a mini series. Idk how many parts it will have but I wanted to do more than one.
Pairing: Eddie Munson x virgin!reader
Trigger Warnings: Mentions of weight, mentions of being overweight, body image issues, body dysphoria, self deprication, sexual experiences, lack of sexual experience, teasing, angst.
You do not have permission to copy, translate or repost my work onto other sites or social medias. This work is my own and it is owned by me.
Having a large friend group was nice. Nice enough, at least for you. Between the Hellfire boys and the party you were fortunate enough to have many friends. You were close to the party the most over the shared trauma of the upside down and things that go bump in the night. It was easy to be open with them so some topics of conversation didn’t bother you… until certain comments were made. You had never intended to let the information about yourself shift the dynamic of your friendships. At this point in your life, you had reluctantly accepted a fact about yourself when it came to romantic relationships and activities. However, your friend groups learning that you were a virgin even now past graduating high school seemed to change everything. It wasn’t like you wanted to seek out the first willing male participant and ‘get it over with’ as some past friends had told you to do before. You didn’t want that for yourself. It didn’t feel right for you.
The unfortunate thing about it was that no one was into you. That was something you had concluded on your own in your own time. It was either the pudge of your stomach and the squishiness of other parts of your body or simply your personality. You weren’t sure. Maybe it was all of it. You had spent many a time pinching, poking and prodding at your body in the mirror as tears silently slid down your cheeks. Most of the time you avoided reflective surfaces all together as it shattered the illusion of what you thought and wished you looked like. One look in a reflection made your confidence dwindle down to nothing like something small being dropped off of a skyscraper just to shatter on impact at the pavement below. So you wore baggy clothes. Hiding your figure was better than being gawked at for trying to wear clothes other girls, skinnier girls, pulled off effortlessly. The hammer that hit the nail on the head was when you noticed some things. Was it other people’s fault? No, it wasn’t. But when you went out with friends who were deemed more attractive than you and people approached them to talk to them while you stood there, drink in hand. It was hard not to notice. The icing on the cake had been the one time you were left standing at the bar, all your friends off talking to someone in the bar that had approached them while you played with the condensation that dripped down onto the bartop.
You lacked social experiences. You had never been on a date before, never had a boyfriend either. You had a first kiss at least though it had been a long time ago. How your friends didn’t know this, you had no idea. A rousing game of truth or dare brought this information to light for everyone. The kids weren’t invited as it was an adults only party Steve had decided to throw. The Hellfire boys, Nancy, Robin, Steve, Jonathan and Argyle as well as yourself all sat in a circle with your respective drinks in hand. It had been your turn, so you chose truth, wanting a break for a moment as the dares got more daring as time went on and more alcohol was consumed. Drinking the ‘mega condiment’ as Argyle named it–a mixture of literally every condiment housed in the Harrington fridge–was not on your list of things to drink that night. Especially after seeing Robin gag after taking a sip of it.
The Harrington house was big enough to house all of you. Not to mention a supplemental bar for when you all ran out of what you brought with yourselves. These ‘adults only’ parties tended to last all night with drinks, food and usually crashing there. At times it was movies or more importantly drinking games that were played at these events. Tonight the stack of playing cards had been retired early in favor of Truth or Dare. Jeff hummed as he thought over what he could ask you. His eyes lit up as he figured out his question. “Who did you lose your virginity to?” He asked you with a grin. It wasn’t uncommon for these question to get more personal and daring the more you all drank. So you weren’t necessarily surprised at the topic but the fact that it had been aimed at you, one of the only single people in attendance. Normally, these embarrassing personal questions were aimed at the couples.
You felt your cheeks warm in embarrassment. As everyone waited for their answer, you simply looked away from Jeff and took a swig from your drink to avoid answering. That was one rule that had been put in place. You could opt out by drinking your drink. No questions asked. Or at least, no requirement to answer.
“Must be embarrassed about who it is.” Gareth chuckled with a small shrug as he drained the last of his beer.
“Or she didn’t lose it at all.” Jeff playfully jokes, but something on your face must have given it away as Jeff’s eyes widened in realization. “You haven’t lost it?!” He gasped.
“How? You’re like… in your twenties.”
“I just haven’t. Alright?” You practically snapped at Gareth and Jeff.
“Well, have you come close? Like on a date getting hot and heavy with someone?” Steve asked, leaning over to hand Gareth another beer after popping the bottle cap off with his bare hand.
“No… I’ve never been on a date so,” You mumbled into your cup as you took another drink.
“You’ve never been on a date?!” Nancy asked, shock written on her face. “I thought Ethan when we were soph-”
“Yeah. He stood me up and made jokes about it for a week after.” You cut Nancy off with a tight smile. “I’m not girlfriend material, apparently. Now if you’ll excuse me.” You pushed yourself off of the floor and headed for Steve’s kitchen to make yourself another drink. Your cheeks were hot with embarrassment and you could feel tears threatening to breach the barrier of your lower lashes. At times, you could brave the embarrassment of being a virgin at your age. However now again you found yourself longing for something you had not had the privilege of having. Yearning for a connection to someone who likes you for who you are, not necessarily what you look like. When those feelings hit you, it was hard not to be hurt at the realization that you might never have these experiences. You could hear laughter in the other room, the immediate assumption in your fragile state that it was about you. Your lower lip wobbled as you opened the container of cranberry juice, pouring a full glass of it knowing adding more alcohol would make it harder to compose yourself now and you’d like to leave with a shred of your dignity left intact.
“Enough.” You heard Eddie’s voice snap, presumably at the Hellfire boys as he usually reigned them in. You sniffled, wiping at your cheeks quickly before going to grab the hoodie you had abandoned on the back of a kitchen chair earlier. You needed the comfort, shielding your body away before you trudged back into the room of your friends with your mask back on firmly in place.
Since then, things have been different. Your lack of experiences, lack of romance and lack of self confidence were sore spots for you. Some told you you simply weren’t trying hard enough. As if it were that easy to just make people like you. Or want you for more than just what was between your thighs or under your shirt. As if anyone would want to see that. Since the night of the party, the group made it a point to keep certain topics of conversation to a minimum or overall stopping the conversation when you joined the group. As if they didn’t think you would notice. It was hard to ignore that the topics of recent date nights ceased the second you were close enough to them all. With hushed ‘later’s, ‘not now’s and ‘I’ll finish telling you later’s being the main indication when you manage to hear them.
“Okay, I’ll bite.” You sighed as you crossed your arms over the counter of Family Video, looking at Steve and Robin expectantly. You had heard their conversation when you walked in there but when you approached the counter Steve had quickly shushed Robin from talking further. “What are you both talking about?” You asked.
“Nothing, nothing.” Robin waved you off with a smile as she rang up the movie you had brought over.
“I was just telling Robin about my date the other night. After we had dinner we started getting hot and heavy in my car, went to Lovers Lake to have-”
“Shh! Steve, innocent ears! We have to keep her purity intact.” Robin shushed him, smacking him in the chest.
Your face fell. “Excuse me?” You asked Robin in a clipped tone, not bothering to hide your anger and annoyance.
The air had shifted as had the mood. Robin’s face fell as she realized that her joke had not been amusing to you but instead upset you. “It’s just that… No, Y/N. I didn’t mean it like that!” Robin apologized quickly.
You scoffed, pulling your wallet out and throwing cash onto the counter to cover the movie and a packet of Red Vines. “Thanks.” You mumbled, snatching up the movie and a packet of Red Vines before heading out of the store quickly.
—----------
It was movie night. That was the reason for your trip into Family Video that week. The Hellfire group would have a movie night once every week or so. Everyone brought in a movie and you all would decide which ones to watch. You sat on the couch, always having privileges for the couch per Eddie’s orders since in his words: you are the lady here. You sat beside Eddie, sharing your Red Vines with him while he shared his popcorn with you. Since that day in Family Video you hadn’t seen neither Steve nor Robin, actively avoiding both of them. You had mumbled an acceptance of Robin’s apology when she called but hadn’t wanted to see either of them. It got worse though. Almost all of your friends had made a joke about your lack of experience thus far. If there wasn’t a joke about it there was reassurance that didn’t feel so reassuring. Nancy had tried to reassure you that there was nothing wrong with being a virgin still at your age. Eddie, Jonathan and Argyle seemed to be the only ones smart enough to not make any comments about the subject. Something you praised God for. Now it was the end of the week and you were just ready for everyone to move past this once and for all.
On the screen in front of you was a horror movie. Something you weren’t unfamiliar with. You sighed as you sunk into the couch with Eddie. You watched as two teens snuck away with the intention of having fun with one another and felt your mood sour. You waited for it. Some kind of comment to be passed your way.
“These are always so cheesy and these parts? Boring.” Lucas complained, tossing pieces of popcorn at the screen itself.
“That’s because you’ve never experienced it, Sinclair.” Gareth laughed, nudging the other boy.
“As if he should listen to any advice from you.” Eddie nudged Gareth with his foot.
“I’m full of advice! Good advice!” He argued back with Eddie.
“Suuure you are.” You added, “None of you seem like you’d know what to do anyway. Just fumble and ask where things are.”
“Oh, please!” Freak laughed and grinned at you. “Here’s something we can at least tell you, Y/N.” His tone took on one you would use when speaking to a child, “When a man and a woman love each other, his peepee goes in the hole between your legs. That’s where you put it. In case you didn’t know since you’re still a virgin.”
“Freak, knock it off.” Eddie hissed in his direction.
You didn’t even dignify him with an answer. You stood up, stepping over Gareth and Jeff as you made your way to the door.
“Y/N?” Eddie called, but you didn’t dare look behind you. Instead, you slid your jacket onto your body, picked up your bag and threw open the door to Eddie’s trailer deciding to leave the movie you rented there.
You hopped down onto the porch, the screen door behind you smacking shut loudly as you bounded off the porch and over to your car. You heard the door open back up behind you and Eddie called out your name again. You ignored him, sliding into your car and peeling away from the trailer park like your ass was on fire. You gripped the steering wheel tightly, ignoring the tears sliding down your cheeks. It was one thing to hear jokes that you were still a virgin. It was another thing to have people demean you thinking you were innocent and didn’t know anything because of it. You weren’t a fucking child. You knew probably more than they did about the female body and what to do. Years of hearing your peers talk about it had been informative enough.
As soon as you got to your apartment, you shuffled yourself inside and shut the door tightly behind you. You crumbled. You were embarrassed and upset, wanting to just crawl in a hole and forget this week had ever happened. You pulled yourself up, trudging to the bathroom and taking a hot shower before pulling on panties, sweatpants and a tank top deciding to leave the death trap on the floor of the bathroom. You moved to the living room, seeking out a new movie to put on in the hopes it would distract yourself from the disastrous night. You put on one of your favorites before tucking yourself into your couch with your favorite fuzzy blanket and pillow. You only got through about fifteen minutes of the film before there was a knock on your door. You ignored it, favoring pretending you weren’t home or didn’t exist than face whoever was on the other side of that wooden barrier. The knocking came again, harder and more insistent this time.
“Go away!” You called out to the door. You assumed it was Freak, Gareth and Jeff. No doubt sent there by Eddie to apologize for upsetting you. He never let the other guys bother you too much.
“Open up, sweetheart. It’s me.” The man you thought had sent others to your door was actually the one behind it.
“No.” You called back out. You were thankful that Eddie didn’t make fun of you like the others did or comment on it. But you were embarrassed and felt ugly.
“Please? I have something for you.” You sighed. Knowing Eddie he would either camp out in front of your door or more likely pick your lock or climb through your window in your bedroom if you didn’t let him in. You pulled yourself up off the couch and went to the door, unlocking it and opening up the door. His smile was wide and bright when you opened the door. His arms were laden with items and he nudged you with his foot. “May I come in?” He asked you, batting his lashes at you.
You stepped aside, letting the lanky metalhead into your home. Eddie moved inside of your apartment quickly and you watched him like he was some foreign entity in your home. Eddie had been in your apartment before but never alone with you. It was always accompanied by one of your friends. He had just never come here by himself. You wouldn’t have thought so though as he effortlessly placed down the items in his arms. He had a pizza box with him, two shopping bags and a backpack on his back. From the plastic bags he pulled out some beer, candy and movies presumably from his own home. “What’re you doing here, Eddie?” You sighed, shutting your door and moving back to your couch. You burrowed yourself under your blanket again, pillow tucked behind your back. “Where are the guys?”
“Well, you left clearly upset, and I kicked the guys out.” Eddie answered nonchalantly. He stopped his movements of sorting out the treats he brought to look at you. “They shouldn’t have said what they said.” He spoke softly, watching you.
You took a breath. “Thank you… You didn’t have to come here though.” You mumbled, crossing your arms.
“I wanted to.” Eddie waved you off. “Now, I’m gonna go change cause we’re having a sleepover. I have your favorite.” He flipped open the pizza box to reveal your favorite toppings. “I will be back!” He took his backpack into your bedroom. You leaned over, assessing the pizza and snacks he had brought with him for you. You took a slice of pizza and gently began munching on it, trying to fight off the negative thoughts about how this food wasn’t good for you and wouldn’t help your situation but only deepen the purple stretch marks on your stomach and thighs.
When Eddie returned, he was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a faded Judas Priest t-shirt. He dropped down onto the couch on the opposite side of you and picked up a slice of pizza, taking a huge bite out of the food. He settled down, wiggling your blanket out from under him to get under the fabric and be comfortable with you. You both sat like that for a while, watching the movie you had put on and eating the pizza. Eventually one of the movies Eddie had brought with him was put on. You both fell into a comfortable silence but you knew it would eventually break.
As the second movie played you were about halfway through it when Eddie finally spoke up. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He asked you, turning his head to look at you. You turned your head to meet his eyes and felt your walls crumble. You wanted to say no… but with Eddie’s gaze on you, it was hard to compose yourself. You flashed back to what happened not too long ago and over the week in general. You didn’t realize that more tears began to slide down your cheeks. “I’m just so sick of everyone thinking I’m innocent just because I haven’t fucked someone. I’m not an idiot. I’m not a child. I fucking know things.” You sobbed quietly, hurriedly wiping at your cheeks. “It’s not my fault I’m not the kind of girl anyone wants.” You felt the couch shift as Eddie moved closer, the weight of his arm falling over your shoulders. He moved your legs over his lap, tucking you into his side as you cried. “They act like it was somehow my choice. Like I haven’t wanted to have a boyfriend, have sex, go on dates, be loved by someone. If it were my choice I would’ve done all those things! But no one is interested in me. How is that my fault?” You babbled on, tucking your face against Eddie’s chest and finding comfort in the smell of him.
“First of all, they were wrong to make you seem like you don’t know shit. Second of all, you are absolutely the kind of girl people want. Smart people who have eyes and aren’t selfish assholes. I know if you had the choice, you would’ve done those things. Clearly, since this upsets you so much, babe. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time.” Eddie spoke softly, his thumb rubbing your skin comfortingly as he spoke.
“Sure, Eddie. Whatever you say.” You murmured, feeling drained from the week itself. A silence fell over the two of you as you felt your insecurities swallow your mind. “Maybe if I was skinnier… prettier. Like Nancy, smart too.” You mumbled. You gasped when Eddie suddenly moved back. You looked at him and he had moved back to stare at you. What shocked you was the anger on his face.
“Do not. Say that.” He spoke sternly, watching you. “There is nothing wrong with you. Your body, your mind, nothing.”
“But-”
“No!” Eddie frowned, a crease forming between his brows as he showed his unhappiness at your lack of self-confidence. “No buts! Yours is phenomenal, by the way.” He was moving before you could even process what you just heard, your cheeks warming when you realized. He was pulling at your legs. You made a small sound as he pulled you til you were laying on your couch. You adjusted the pillow that had once been behind your back to be behind your head instead, deciding to humor Eddie. You knew him well enough that he would say what he wanted to say whether you wanted to hear it or not. He was never shy to share his opinion, sometimes unprompted. “Look,” Eddie moved on top of you. He straddled your thighs as his hair fell over your face like a curtain. Without thinking about it you moved his hair back from his face. “Hi, pretty girl.” Eddie grinned at you. You pouted at him, using one hand to tug on his earlobe. He whined and winced, “Ow.” he mumbled softly. Eddie’s hands moved from holding himself up above you instead favoring to rest his body against yours. You grunt softly at the new weight but it wasn’t bothering you.
“Eddie, what are you doing?” You huff and Eddie grins back at you.
“Shh. Hold on. I’m gonna give you the boyfriend experience, okay. Let me show you how pretty you are.” He shushed you, moving his hand up to your face. His middle finger gently ran over your forehead, moving down the bridge of your nose. Your eyebrows were creased in confusion as you took in what he was doing but your breath hitched in your throat as his lips pressed between your eyebrows, smoothing the crease away. His soft touch moved down over the tip of your nose down to your cupid’s bow before moving over your cheekbone. He leaned in, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose. You were fumbling as you processed the fact that Eddie Munson was kissing your face. His lips followed his finger as he kissed your cheek bone. More kisses followed over your cheek, jaw and chin.
“Ed-”
“Shhh,” He softly shushed you again, middle finger moving over your top lip before running over your lower lip. You waited, holding your breath. That breath escaped you when Eddie pressed his lips to yours. You knew what to do, of course, pressing your lips back to Eddie’s but truly you were sure you were a horrible kisser. His hand now cupped your cheek as his lips moved against yours like he was trying to show you what to do. Soon you melted in his embrace, just enjoying kissing him. His lips were slightly chapped but soft and you made a mental note to share your cherry lip balm with him so he didn’t crack his lips. Eddie’s lips left yours though and you whimpered softly as he moved away. A breathy chuckle left him. “You have to breathe, pumpkin. Okay?” He murmured, nose nudging yours gently. Then he was moving again. He tucked his head into your neck, peppering kisses against your skin. He kissed over your collarbones before kissing the tops of your breasts. “No bra when you’re at home? I should come visit more often.” He mumbled against your skin, running his nose over your cloth covered mounds. His eyes flicked up to meet yours, a devilish smile on his lips.
“Gonna come over more often now cause I don’t wear a bra at home?” You scoffed and Eddie nodded against you.
“Mhm, and cause I can see your nipples through your tank top.” He chuckled and moved his hands down to your hips. His hands moved back up, pushing your tank top up. You reached for his hands but he stopped just under your breasts. “Not going further. I didn’t ask permission yet.” He murmured and shuffled down your body. His nose nudged gently at your stomach, admiring the pudginess that was there. He began scattering kisses over your soft flesh. Over stretch marks ranging from soft pink, barely there to fresh purple ones. You squirmed a little under him, cheeks warming in embarrassment and self consciousness. “You’re so cute.” He mumbled against your skin, looking up at you. You pouted, feeling tears tug at your lashes again. “No crying, baby.” He murmured, “Not wanting to make you feel bad. Just wanna admire you.” You sniffled, gently wiping at your eyes as you nodded down at him. You were unsure of Eddie’s plan. Why he was doing this and how far he was going to go but you were going to give him his time, enjoying the limited attention he was affording you.
Eddie waited for you to calm down before he continued. He kissed over your hips, hands moving to pull your sweatpants down slightly. He pulled the material down over your legs, setting them aside and you froze again. He bypassed your panties which made you pout a little but you knew Eddie had a plan. His kisses continue over the tops of your thighs before moving to kiss the sides of them. He lifted one of your legs, lips moving down your calf and over your ankle before he kissed the top of your foot. When he was satisfied that he had covered you in enough kisses he grabbed your sweatpants and pulled the material back over your legs and settled himself on top of you again once you were clothed again. Eddie had laid himself so his head rested at your neck. One arm snaked under your body while his other hand moved to gently run his fingers through your hair.
“You can call me crazy if you want,” Eddie mumbled against your skin. “But what if I gave you the boyfriend experience. Doesn’t have to go anywhere. Just… show you what you’re missing.”
You blinked, thinking over Eddie’s suggestion. It wasn’t that you didn’t like Eddie. You liked him a lot especially once you saw the soft side of the scary looking metal head. You figured you weren’t his type despite the affection he’d shown you tonight. So what was the harm in taking him up on gaining some experience? You hummed softly and stroked your fingers through his hair. “Yeah… I’d like that.” You murmured quietly, feeling the smile that spread over his lips before he pressed a kiss to your throat.
Eventually the two of you moved so you could enjoy the slightly cold pizza Eddie had brought you both. The two of you ate most of it, tucking the rest into the fridge. You yawned gently as you packed up the snacks and Eddie’s hands gently grabbed at your arms to stop you. He steered you towards your room, shutting the tv off on the way. Inside your room you crawled into bed and laid on your side, figuring Eddie would help himself to wherever he wanted to sleep. The bed dipped beside you and Eddie shuffled closer to you. “An important part of the boyfriend experience, cuddling.” He murmured as he pressed himself to your back. He tangled his legs with yours, holding onto you. You could feel that he had shed his shirt before climbing into bed with you. His hand rested on your belly and you resisted the urge to move it. You didn’t even like touching your own belly but someone else touching the area made you want to crawl out of your skin. After a few minutes though you relaxed enough, gently falling asleep in his arms.
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The next morning you had woken up still in Eddie’s embrace. He was holding onto you tightly, gentle snores falling from his lips. You picked up his arm, attempting to wiggle free from his hold at first until he tightened his arm around you further. You huffed but smiled, picking up his arm again and getting free. You padded out of your room to the kitchen and started to brew some coffee. You grabbed what you needed to make some simple bacon and eggs for you both, humming as you did so. As you added some cheese into the eggs you heard him before you felt him. He had just managed to step on one of the creaky floor boards. Eddie’s arms wrapped around you and his head found home on your shoulder.
“You left me,” He mumbled against your skin.
“I made breakfast.” You answered, plucking up a piece of bacon and offering it to him.
Eddie lifted his head and bit into the bacon, chewing thoughtfully. “All is forgiven.”
You chuckled and shook your head, finishing the other half of the strip of salty pork before returning to moving the eggs around. Eddie removed himself from you to grab the plates you set aside for you both. He held both as you scooped some eggs onto the plates before placing bacon strips onto them. Eddie took them to the table as you popped toast into the toaster and started to make your cup of coffee. Once all the food was ready you both sat down to eat. You found your eyes wandering to the boy that sat beside you. Eddie’s hair was a frizzy mess from sleeping with it loose last night. His torso and arms were toned and not overly muscular. You figured he lifted a lot of heavy things having heard he worked at a mechanics shop now. Blotches of scars were on his arms and torso from where the demobats had feasted on his flesh but you didn’t find them repulsive. It made Eddie look rugged in a way. Even if his nipple and his chest tattoos had suffered because of it. His rings were absent, most likely sitting on your bedside table now.
“Like what you see?”
You moved your eyes away from Eddie’s chest to look at his face. He smiled at you. A kind, warm smile like you guys had known one another a long time. His big chocolate orbs watched you carefully but as he shifted the sun caught his eyes, turning them amber. You chuckled at the scrunch of his nose and the squint of his eyes as they were invaded by the sun. You stood up, moving to your window and pulling the sheer curtains together. “I like natural light.” You told him, returning to your seat.
Eddie hummed, picking up your hand and kissing your knuckles. “Thank you for breakfast.” He murmured with another bright smile.
“You brought me dinner last night. It’s only fair.” You reason with a small shrug. When you finish your meal you put your plate in the sink and refill your mug before retiring to your couch once again under your blanket. Eddie joins you moments later, slipping under your blanket and shifting closer to you, arm around your shoulders. You turned the TV on, finding something to watch as you sip your coffee. You only look away when a gentle tap comes to your chin and you turn your head, Eddie lips pressing to yours.
“Forgot to properly tell you good morning.” He murmured against your lips.
You feel your face warm, kissing Eddie again. “Good morning,” You murmured.
“Good morning,”
—-------------------------
You and Eddie spent the day together. You watched TV, made lunch and finally talked about what you would both be doing. Eddie offered a no strings attached experience, explaining that he would provide you with the experience of what it was like to have a boyfriend and whatever else you might like at no cost to you besides your time.
“You don’t want anything?” You asked, raising a brow at the boy.
Eddie nodded his head. “Nothing.”
“There has to be something you want to be doing this.”
Eddie hummed and shook his head again. “I’m getting it already.”
“What?”
He smiled at you and reached for your hand. “What I want… is you.” He murmured, “Stupid, I know. Me being an option but I’m happy just… filling the role for you. Til you find what you want.”
That was the thing. You didn’t know what you wanted. You wanted to be loved, yes. Someone who wanted you. Which Eddie claimed he was that person. Someone who wanted you. That was something difficult for you to grasp. Why would someone want somebody as imperfect as you are? You were a burden, an issue. Or simply just the thing in the corner that was easily ignored. You simply nodded at Eddie’s words though and leaned over, pressing your lips to his even if you didn’t believe a word he said.
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#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson x reader#eeddie munson fanfic#eddie munson angst#eddie munson comfort#eddie munson fic#tw weight#tw self deprication#tw body dysphoria
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observations on aries
artwork by edvard munch
aries suns are known for being bold and brash, but there can be a real softness to them; their proximity to pisces and taurus, two of the most sensitive and sensual signs, often lends aries an interesting dichotomy. they are the first sign, and sometimes that softness shows through in indecision or insecurity.
with the midheaven in aries, the native can be compelled towards meaning. they aren’t the type who can just work a random job and chill on their time off. they need purpose, and to feel like their life and how they spend it matters deeply to them. their definition of a meaningful life may vary greatly depending on the natal chart and life of the native, but there is always that common thread of questing towards it.
aries moons sometimes get labelled as being emotionally immature, or even shallow. my experiences with these natives couldn't be further from the truth, however. they are brutally, refreshingly honest, and while they tend to paint in broad strokes, they definitely don't lack depth. it's just a different way of expressing and processing emotions.
venus in aries is all about interest. they need to feel appreciated and desired, not just in love, but in all their relationships. this can even stretch to their work and pastimes, and so, despite aries not being known for this trait, venus in aries can become perfectionistic and even fawning at their most vulnerable. they find it hard to let people in, because when they do, they struggle to close the door again.
mars in aries is known for being angry, and i think can be somewhat demonised because of that. aries mars is a placement that, yes, has big reactions, but the underlying emotions are valid. they have a strong sense of justice and pride, and they are more than willing to fight for what they believe in, even when it gets them into trouble.
saturn in aries is sometimes seen as being "not aries-like"... sure, there are restrictions and difficulties when it comes to autonomy and authority, your path might not be a typical one, and you can lack self-actualisation and assertiveness, especially when younger; but in my opinion, this is a really interesting place to find aries, especially when it comes to being in partnerships and leading or managerial roles.
aries ascendant is, in my opinion, where you tend to see the typical arian mannerisms come out. they walk quickly, talk quickly, and they're also highly visible; you can see their facial expression changing as their thoughts develop, you can see stress and tension in them before they have the chance to hide it. this physical earnesty is really refreshing, but for the native it can be a source of unwanted vulnerability.
with mercury in aries, the native can seem like an open book. they react quickly and sometimes without reflecting, they can think aloud and they express themselves with a disarming directness. but i believe placements like this can find solace in remembering that the initial reaction isn't necessarily how you truly see a situation, but rather, how you've been taught to react to it. learning to reflect and get curious about yourself is a great skill for aries mercury.
#pallastrology#astrology blog#astrology posts#astro community#aries#aries notes#aries observations#astrology notes#astrology observations
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