rpmemes-galore

[rpmemes-galore]

remorse ... sentence starters

"I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

"I'm sorry, okay?? I'm sorry!"

"This all went to hell so fast…"

"I didn't want you to hear that."

"This was a horrible mistake…"

"I never meant for any of this…"

"You weren't meant to see that."

"I didn't mean to hurt you like this."

"I hope you'll forgive me someday."

"This wasn't supposed to happen…"

"I'm sorry you got caught up in this."

"I never wanted you to see me like this."

"I don't even know what to say... I'm just sorry."

"Don't lecture me, I already feel awful enough."

"You think I meant for it to go this way? I'm sorry!"

"This was why I didn't tell you... I didn't want you to know about this."

"I'm not going to apologize for doing it. It had to be done. I'm just sorry you had to see it."

[rpmemes-galore]

Send a symbol for your muse to gently touch mine by: 

❥ :  tucking stray hair behind their ear

✿ : trailing soft kisses down their arm

☁ : cuddling with them under a blanket

★ : pressing a kiss to the back of their hand

▲ : leaning your head against their shoulder

♪ : singing them a lullaby and brushing their hair

◆ : wrapping your arms around them from behind

✤ : lacing your fingers into theirs and holding their hands

♣ : slowly pulling them into your lap to curl up and cuddle

▨ : rubbing their back to calm them down when they’re upset

▰ : embracing them and holding them firmly against your chest

[rpmemes-galore]

Imagine Dragons — Evolve Album  {Sentence Starters}

“Can we start over?“

“I want to be invisible.”

“You made me a believer.”

“Tell me that you love me.”

“You could come join me…”

“I’m far from a perfect man.”

“I promise you, I’ll make it right.”

“Everybody circling is vulturous.”

“Your love is always dangerous.”

“But, still you… still you want me.”

“We couldn’t be closer if we tried.”

“Break me down and build me up.”

“I never did you right, I know that.”

“Falling too fast to prepare for this.”

“I haven’t got one single regret, no.”

“Just a young gun with a quick fuse…”

“I was born to run, I was born for this.”

“Oh, the storm is raging against us, now.”

“Tripping in the world could be dangerous.”

“Do you know the line that I’d walk for you?“

“I’ve been living, but I was never breathing.”

“Don’t throw my name ‘round here like that.”

“Oh, I’ll take your hand when thunder roars.”

“I know it isn’t easy, but I hope to be worth it.”

“And the more I reach, the more I fade away.”

“If you’re afraid of falling, then don’t look down.”

“Do you feel the same when I’m away from you?“

“Don’t you tell me what you think that I could be.”

“At least I’ll go down to the grave and die happily.”

“You’re the face of the future, the blood in my veins.”

“And there’s tears we’ll cry, but those tears will fade.”

“I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been.”

“I’m just a symbol to remind you that there’s more to see.”

“Took your heart, took your hand, promise you all that I had.”

“Whatever it takes, ‘cause I love the adrenaline in my veins.”

“So, thank you for taking a chance on me. I know it isn’t easy.”

“I don’t know why, but I guess it’s got something to do with you.”

“All these years I’ve been searching for who I’m supposed to be.”

“There’s something about the way that you always see the pretty view.”

[rpmemes-galore]

lady gaga : the fame monster album … sentence starters

“Just give in.”

“She’s a mess.”

“You amaze me.”

“I want your love.”

“I’m a tough bitch.”

“Baby, you’re sick.”

“You little monster.”

“My religion is you.”

“I’m not your babe.”

“I want your drama.”

“Don’t call my name.”

“I’ll never love, again.”

“Show me your teeth.”

“That boy is a monster.”

“You will never fall apart.”

“Would you give it all up?“

“Want your bad romance.”

“Walk, walk fashion, baby.”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Yeah, I’ll love you forever.”

“Stop! Please, just let me go.”

“I don’t wanna think anymore.”

“'Cause I’m a free bitch, baby!“

“Could we fix you if you broke?“

“There was a monster in my bed.”

“Baby, you gave up… you gave up.”

“Girl, you look good enough to eat.“

“Tell me something that’ll save me.”

“Oh boy, you’ve left me speechless.”

“I can’t believe what you said to me.”

“Wanna talk to her, she’s hot as hell.”

“I’ve never seen one like that before.”

“She’s not broken. She’s just a baby.”

“Boy, now get your paws right off me!”

“Tell me something that’ll change me.”

“And, honestly, he’s a wolf in disguise.”

“Don’t wanna kiss. Don’t wanna touch.”

“Don’t be scared, I’ve done this before.”

“I’m gonna love you with my hands tied.”

“You and me could write a bad romance.”

“Sorry, I cannot hear you, I’m kinda busy.”

“Open up your heart and your mind to me.”

“You should’ve made some plans with me.”

“I want your everything, as long as it’s free.”

“I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand.”

“And I cannot text you with a drink in my hand.”

“I left my head and my heart on the dancefloor.”

“At this point I’ve gotta choose, nothing to lose.”

“Can call all you want, but there’s no one home.”

“She’s got a halo around her finger, around you.”

“‘Cause you’re a criminal as long as you’re mine.”

“I asked my girlfriend if she’d seen you ‘round before.”

“We might’ve fucked, not really sure, don’t quite recall.”

“You know that I want you, and you know that I need you.”

“I should’ve left my phone at home, ‘cause this is a disaster.”

“I can’t believe how you looked at me with your James Dean glossy eyes.”

“I know that you may love me, but I just can’t be with you like this anymore.”

[rpmemes-galore]

send me " secret files " and i'll post a headcanon about my muse I've never talked about before

[rpmemes-galore]

billie eilish : don’t smile at me album … sentence starters 

“No fair…”

“I’m scared.”

“Where’s my mind?“

“Your love feels so fake.”

“Your lies will never keep.”

“I’m too young to go to jail.”

“Kiss me until I can’t speak.”

“I don’t know what feels true.”

“It’s not like me to be so mean.”

“I don’t wanna be you anymore.”

“You committed, I’m your crime.”

“Call me calloused, call me cold.”

“Don’t be cautious, don’t be kind.”

“If you don’t stop, I’ll call your dad.”

“Was I made from a broken mold?“

“But nothing hurts when I’m alone.”

“You just want what you can’t have.”

“By the way, you’ve been uninvited.”

“Just let me hold you like a hostage.”

“Only you know the way that I break.”

“I’ve never fallen from quite this high.”

“I just wish you could feel what you say.”

“I’ve been watching you for some time…”

“When you fantasize, am I your fantasy?“

“And if you want a good girl, then goodbye.”

“He ain’t a man and sure as hell ain’t honest.”

“Maybe it’s in the gutter where I left my lover.”

“No fair. You really know how to make me cry.”

“’It’s not you, it’s me’ and all that other bullshit…”

“When you close your eyes, do you picture me?“

“'Cause all you say are all the same things I did.”

“You just crossed the line. You’ve run out of time.”

“If I could get to sleep, I would have slept by now.”

“I wanna make ‘em scared, like I could be anywhere.”

“Thought that I’d feel better, but now I got a bellyache.”

“If we were meant to be, we would have been by now.”

“When you call my name, do you think I’ll come running?”

“You want me to be yours? Well, then you gotta be mine.”

“I don’t belong to anyone, but everybody knows my name.”

“I wanna be alone… Alone with you, does that make sense?”

“You got your finger on the trigger, but your trigger finger’s mine.”

“If ‘I love you’ was a promise, would you break it, if you’re honest?”

“I’ll sit and watch your car burn with the fire that you started in me.”

“If teardrops could be bottled, there’d be swimming pools filled by models.”

“You really know how to make me cry when you give me those ocean eyes.”

“Careful creature made friends with time. He left her lonely with a diamond mind.”

“My boy loves his friends like I love my split ends. And by that, I mean he cuts 'em off.”

“Go ahead and watch my heart burn with the fire that you started in me, but I’ll never let you back to put it out.”

[rpmemes-galore]

misc lyrics from my playlists  {Sentence Starters}

“I’ll be good.”

“I will be brave.”

“I don’t deserve this.”

“I’m prepared for this.”

“Darling, don’t be afraid.”

“I knew I loved you, then.”

“I swear, it will get easier.”

“Darling, just hold my hand.”

“Meet me on the battlefield.”

“I am my own worst enemy.”

“For you, I have to risk it all.”

“I’m sorry that I let you down.”

“I’m the one who will survive.”

“I see my future in your eyes.”

“Was the decision ever mine?”

“I have no heart, just ice stone.”

“Promises have consequences.”

“I know we’ll be alright this time.”

“I wish that I could say I’m proud.”

“Darling, you look perfect tonight.”

“I just want you to know who I am.”

“I’m giving the unknown a chance.”

“I’m heading straight for the castle.”

“I’ve been cold. I’ve been merciless.”

“They want to make me their queen.”

“Let me guess, you want an apology?”

“I have died every day waiting for you.”

“How can I say this without breaking…?”

“When you’re not here, I’m suffocating.”

“Just think of the fun things we could do.”

“There’s no point in trying to place blame.”

“I learned a power has always been in me.”

“You’ll be alright. no one can hurt you, now.”

“Every breath, every hour has come to this.”

“Now I know I have met an angel in person.”

“You made me feel as though I was enough.”

“Do the girls back home touch you like I do?”

“You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be.”

“Grace is just weakness… or so I’ve been told.”

“Your love is more than worth its weight in gold.”

“But, the blood on my hands scares me to death.”

“You only know you love her when you let her go.”

“We’re players in a game that I don’t intend to lose.”

“Should’ve had my back, but you put a knife in my hands.”

“So, are you happy, now? You got exactly what you wanted.”

“Already choking on my pride, so there’s no use crying about it.”

“But, with you, I’m feeling something that makes me want to stay.”

“I know exactly what I’m for… to hurt, and destroy, and nothing more.”

“All these voices in my head get loud… I wish that I could shut them out.”

[rpmemes-galore]

send me  ‘ f e a r s ‘   and i will tell you one (1) thing my muse is scared of, how scared they are on a scale of 1-10, and why they’re scared of it. 

[rpmemes-galore]

q’s for muses who had a…  r o u g h   childhood 

( tw’s for trauma, child abuse, child neglect, and violence toward children )

does your muse blame themselves for their trauma?

does your muse suffer with nightmares of their trauma?

what triggers does your muse have from their childhood?

who in their life was most responsible for your muse’s trauma?

has your muse ever been officially diagnosed with ptsd, c-ptsd?

what was the worst / most traumatic moment in their childhood? 

how old was your muse when they realized they had childhood trauma?

how does your muse react to being triggered? ( disassociates, becomes angry, etc. )

what coping methods  ( healthy or unhealthy )  did your muse learn during their childhood? 

does your muse want their abuser(s) to face consequences? Or would they rather forget any of it happened? 

was there anyone who was a shining light for your muse? Ie. was there any adult who they could genuinely rely on / trust? 

[rpmemes-galore]

avril lavigne : let go album … sentence starters

“I was left to cry there.”

“Why’d you turn away?”

“It’s a damn cold night.”

“Maybe it’s not too late.”

“You think you’re loveless.”

“You look like a fool to me.”

“'Cause I know you’re worth it.”

“Chill out, what’cha yelling for?“

“Sorry, girl, but you missed out.”

“He wasn’t good enough for her.”

“I’m listening, but there’s no sound.”

“I thought that you’d be here by now.”

“Oh, why is everything so confusing?“

“You know, you’re not fooling anyone.”

“It’s the first time I ever felt this lonely.”

“Guess I never had someone like you.”

“Can’t you see that you lie to yourself?“

“Well, tough luck, that boy’s mine now.”

“I laugh myself to sleep, it’s my lullaby.”

“I got a backbone stronger than yours.”

“She turns on TV, guess who she sees!”

“Guess it must’ve got erased somehow.”

“Won’t somebody come take me home?“

“You’re always feeling sorry for yourself.”

“I’m trying to remember why I was afraid.”

“Everything’s changing, everywhere I go.”

“Understand that I can’t not be what I am.”

“But all of her friends stuck up their nose.”

“There’s nothin’ else better to do, anyway.”

“Don’t get caught, sneak out of the house.”

“You see right through me and I can’t hide.”

“I’d rather be anything but ordinary, please.”

Does your pretty face see what he’s worth?“

“This sucks, gotta pack up and leave, again.”

“I wanted to know you, I wanted to show you.”

“'Cause you weren’t there when I was scared.”

“Didn’t you feel me lock my arms around you?”

“I don’t know who you are, but I… I’m with you.”

“You don’t want me there, you just shut me out.”

“You’re watching your back, like you can’t relax.”

“And I’m feeling nervous, trying to be so perfect.”

“It don’t do me any good. It’s just a waste of time.”

“Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?“

“Right now, I feel invisible to you, like I’m not real.”

“Sometimes I get so weird I even freak myself out.”

“Sort of thought you’d have the decency to change.”

“No, I just don’t understand why you won’t talk to me.”

“To walk within the lines would make my life so boring.”

“Fall back, take a look at me and you’ll see I’m for real.”

“But I fear that you’re only telling me what I wanna hear.”

“Why’d you have to go and make things so complicated?“

“C'mon now, give it to me. Anything to make me feel alive.”

“Won’t you take me by the hand, take me somewhere new?“

“Cause I’ve never felt like this before, I’m naked around you.”

“There is more than meets the eye. I see the soul that is inside.”

“He was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?”

“You fall, and you crawl, and you break, and you take what you get.”

“We are in love, haven’t you heard how we rock each other’s world?”

“The way you’re acting like you’re somebody else, gets me frustrated.”

“Am I just some chick you placed beside you to take somebody’s place?”

“Go ahead and try… try to look me in the eye, but you’ll never see inside.”

“I’ll be at our studio, singing the song we wrote about a girl you used to know.”

“'Cause nothing’s going right, and everything’s a mess, and no one likes to be alone.”

“I want to believe you when you tell me that it’ll be okay. Yeah, I try to believe you, but I don’t.”

“She had a pretty face, but her head was up in space. She needed to come back down to earth.”

“I might’ve fallen for that when I was fourteen and a little more green, but it’s amazing what a couple of years can mean.”

[rpmemes-galore]

imagine dragons : origins album … sentence starters 

“But I’m a bad liar.”

“I’m gonna make it.”

“Yeah, you’re a natural.”

“They’re living in a fable.”

“That’s the price you pay.”

“Oh, I know I could be better.”

“Only believe what I can see.”

“I want it heavy. I want the fury.”

“I guess I was born to be at war.”

“I don’t think I’m the one for you.”

“You give your life, no other way.”

“Oh, just grant me one more day.”

“'Cause I’m bad at letting you go.”

“Oh, my love, please don’t give up.”

“I can’t be what you want me to be.”

“How many lies do we have to tell?“

“Yes, I know that I’m losing control.”

“Will it save us from our sin? Will it?“

“Rather be the hunter than the prey.”

“My disaster, you’re my only answer.”

“To make a name, you pay the price.”

“How many sleepless, lonely nights?“

“How many tears do we have to cry?“

“I don’t wanna hear about what to do.”

“I’ll change my ways if you would stay.”

“From the outside, everything looks right.”

“I can taste it, the end is upon us, I swear.”

“And I blame it on the pressure I’m facing.”

“Did all my dreams never mean one thing?“

“And terrors don’t prey on innocent victims.”

“Just living in a dream. It’s just you and me.”

“I’m feeling like I’ve been locked in a grave.”

“Oh, hush, my dear, it’s been a difficult year.”

“I’m not scared of what you’re gonna tell me.”

“You gotta be so cold to make it in this world.”

“Let your eyes look up upon me for the better.”

“So look me in the eyes, tell me what you see.”

“Where did we all… where did we all go wrong?”

“Deep inside me, I’m fading to black, I’m fading.”

“Should we go ahead? Or should we turn around?”

“I’ve been astray, barely awake, floating above me.”

“And all your tears that you have cried will go away.”

“Wishing I could paint my scars and make me whole.”

“Nothing ever comes without a consequence or cost.”

“I find it hard to say the things I want to say the most.”

“Took an oath by the blood of my hand. Won’t break it.”

“Just because it isn’t easy doesn’t mean that it is wrong.”

“I wanna take things slow, put my mind in cruise control.”

“Oh, I’ve been asking for problems, problems, problems.”

“Why did you leave? Why did you go, leaving me lonely?”

“You were the brave, I was the weak… you were the army.”

“Tell me the things that you want. I’ll give you all that I’ve got.”

“We don’t want to change, we just want to change everything.”

“I’ll be the sun, I’ll be the waves, I’ll be the one you love the most.”

“We make each other get a bit crazy, but you will always be a part of me.”

“All the things that you detest in me, they keep you coming back for more.”

“Will you hold the line, when every one of them has given up and given in?”

[rpmemes-galore]

oh my god, they were roommates  … sentence starters

also included some aimed at cohabitating couples

“Did we leave the stove on?”

“Did you remember to unplug that?”

“Did you know you talk in your sleep?”

“Do you wanna just order pizza tonight?”

“You’re slowing down the internet, again.”

“I washed dishes last night. It’s your turn.”

“Seriously? You ate them all? Without me?”

“Do you have to have your music that loud?”

“Oh, don’t give me that! It had my name on it!”

“Scootch over, you’re hogging the whole couch.”

“You made dinner? Thanks, it smells really good.“

“Touch my chips and you’re gonna meet the lord.”

“My Netflix password, I get to decide what we watch.”

“If you touch that thermostat one more time, I swear…”

“Oh, yeah, light’s been burnt out for, like, a week, now.”

“Put down the broom and go to bed, you’re exhausted.”

“I just pulled all these out of the couch. Care to explain?”

“I swear, this place is haunted. The lights keep flickering.”

“No. You can’t solve every household issue with duct-tape.”

“Was that the sound of a pipe bursting? Please, tell me no.”

“You can’t just hoard (trash item). You’re like a dragon of garbage.”

“Well, I would’ve liked to sleep, but SOMEONE hogged the bed last night.”

“Our neighbors keep eyeing our little garden. I think they’re jealous. Good.”

“So, don’t panic, but you know how they say you shouldn’t microwave metal…?”

“Excuse you, you don’t need a pillow. I’m right here, and perfectly pillow-shaped!”

“Did you really write ‘REDRUM’ on the mirror? You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Hey, I know you’ve had a rough day, so I made a quick stop and picked up your favorite snack.”

“Sorry I didn’t warn you that I sleepwalk. Didn’t mean to become your sleep paralysis demon.”

“Yeah, I’d love to do the yardwork… if it could stop snowing/raining/storming for more than ten seconds.”

“I was going to throw out the milk, but it’s been in there so long, it gained sentience and I’m scared to get near it.”

“Since things keep breaking, I think we have a household ghost. And I’m gonna name him Steve. Steve, you’re a dick.”

“Apparently, you can duct tape a person to a wall. We have duct tape. We have a wall. Are you seeing where I’m going with this?”

“Somewhere in this house, there’s a smoke alarm low on batteries. And it’s taunting me with its beeps, because it knows I can’t figure out which one it is.”

[rpmemes-galore]

Asks for Superpowered Muses

Also good for superpower AUs. Make sure to specify a muse when applicable.

1. What’s your full ability, to your understanding? (Bonus Q for muns: Does this differ from their actual full ability? Or their potential?)

2. How do you consider your power: a curse, a blessing, a responsibility, or just an extension of who you are?

3. What age did you first discover your ability, or else recognized that it wasn’t just something that normal people did?

4. Did your power develop with age, as a result of some event, or were you born with it?

5. How normal are powers in the world you live in?

6. When using your ability, do you make efforts to disguise yourself, or otherwise hide that you have said ability?

7. What are your opinions on superheros? Super villains? People who have powers but refuse to get involved?

8. How do you view people without any superpowers?

9. What was the most creative application of your ability?

10. Did you ever lack control over your own power? What sort of events happened as a result?

11. How easy was it to gain control over your power? Did you have to train to keep it from use, or did you have to work at bringing your ability out?

12. Did you ever experience discrimination for the manifestation of your power?

13. Have you ever used your power for petty and/or selfish (or silly) reasons?

14. Has your opinion on your power changed at all over the time you’ve had it?

15. Is it possible to overuse your power? What symptoms do you experience as a result?

16. Did the burnout of overusing your power ever put you in a vulnerable and/or dangerous position?

17. Have you accidentally hurt anyone because of your power?

18. Has anyone hurt someone else (perhaps a friend or a loved one?) because of your power?

19. How frequently do you overuse your power, if at all?

20. What sort of weaknesses does your ability have? Limitations? (Bonus Q for muns: Do their actual weaknesses/limitations differ from their knowledge of it?)

21. Can your ability cancel out or dampen any other abilities, to your knowledge?

22. If you keep your ability a secret, does anyone know of it? How did they find out? If you don’t, do you flaunt your ability whenever possible or only use as needed?

23. Are you (or your secret identity) a pseudo-celebrity because of the use of your power?

24. Someone comes up to you expressing that they’re a fan of yours, how would you handle the situation?

25. Would you, or have you, ever abused how people view you (as a result of your abilities) in order to get what you want?

26. Were you ever a “normal person”? Did you want powers? Now that you have them, do you regret ever getting them? If you weren’t ever ability-less, do you wish that you had that experience? Why or why not?

[rpmemes-galore]

Consider this express permission to come into my askbox and ROAST my muse!

[rpmemes-galore]

Random character building questions!

what are your muse’s allergies?  

what are some tics your muse has? 

what subject was your muse best at in school?

what trait does your muse find most attractive?

what is the spiciest food your muse can handle?

are there any nicknames your muse can’t stand? 

are there animals that your muse is scared of? why?

what is the strangest food combination that your muse enjoys?

if your muse could live in any other time period, which would it be?

did your muse watch cartoons growing up? which was their favorite?

if your muse suddenly had $1000 dropped into their lap, what would they do with it? 

if your muse could have a superpower, what would it be? if they already have one, what would they change it to, if they could? 

[rpmemes-galore]

the greatest showman : the other side … sentence starters

“I know you see it.”

“So, thanks, but no.”

“Can’t you see I’m doing fine?”

“It’ll take you to the other side.”

“I’ll have to leave that up to you.”

“I don’t want to chase you down.”

“And if it’s crazy, live a little crazy.”

“I don’t need to see the other side.”

“But I guess I’ll leave that up to you.”

“We could shake and make it happen.”

“Oh, damn! Suddenly you’re free to fly!”

“You run with me and I can cut you free.”

“Okay, my friend, you want to cut me in?”

“Right here, right now, I put the offer out.”

“Now that’s a deal that seems worth taking.”

“I admire you, and that whole show you do.”

“Just let me give you the freedom to dream.”

“I quite enjoy the life you say I’m trapped in.”

“So trade that typical for something colorful.”

“You’re onto something, really it’s something.”

“Stay in the cage, or you’ll finally take the key.”

“Ain’t in a cage, so I don’t need to take the key.”

“Well, I hate to tell you, but it just won’t happen.”

“Fair enough, you’d want a piece of all the action.”

“I got what I need and I don’t want to take the ride.”

“Now is this really how you like to spend your days?”

“Well, it’s intriguing, but to go would cost me greatly.”

“But you would finally live a little, finally laugh a little.”

“If I were mixed up with you, I’d be the talk of the town.”

“'Cause you can do like you do, or you can do like me.”

“Why not just go ahead and ask for nickels on the dime?”

“Don’t you know that I’m okay with this uptown part I get to play?”

“'Cause I got what you need, so come with me and take the ride.”

“Don’t you wanna get away from the same old part you gotta play?”

“You can play it sensible, a king of conventional, or you can risk it all and see.”

“Now is this really how you like to spend your days? Whiskey and misery, and parties and plays?”

“If I were mixed up with you, I’d be the talk of the town… disgraced and disowned, another one of the clowns.”

[rpmemes-galore]

Obscurest Vinyl songs ... sentence starters

tw for extremely strong, offensive language and some sexual content

"It was inevitable, baby."

"This ain't normal, fuck!"

"Am I fucking gonna die?"

"No, because she's not me."

"It's raining bullshit tonight."

"You dolts are fuckin boring."

"I woke up in a world of shit."

"Ain't that a kick in the cunt?"

"Holy shit, he might be dead."

"Good God, I pulled too hard."

"Spilled hot coffee on my tits."

"It's not rocket science, bitch."

"I'm fuckin' done with this shit."

"The bullshit's piling awfully fast."

"See you in hell, I don't give a shit."

"Dude, what the fuck is your deal?"

"I knew my boss would spy on me."

"These games are driving me mad."

"So I pissed on him in self defense."

"Just fucking dunk the kid already!"

"I was so nervous, I thought I'd die."

"You're always leaving me in suspense."

"I glued my balls to my butthole again."

"Waking up today was a huge mistake."

"Every fucking day is a kick in the cunt."

"Mama, I don't think I'm strong enough."

"Everybody knew what the fuck was up."

"You can shut the fuck up any time now!"

"You might as well have them open wide."

"'Cause dude, I fuckin' know it ain't mine."

"Don't shit, don't shit, don't shit, don't shit."

"I just can't stop ruining all of these pants."

"I'm just hanging dong as the time flies by."

"You look like you could use a fuckin' lamp."

"You're making the water all fucking gross."

"You're looking dim, so I grabbed this lamp."

"So I pissed on the floor to make it slippery."

"Oh, my arms are just fuckin' stuck like this."

"Oh, baby, fuckin' please, just take me back."

"Oh, honey, this shit is un-fucking-believable."

"Oh, honey, you're barkin' up the wrong bitch."

"I wanna know the secrets your asshole keeps."

"It’s time to take a shit on the company’s dime."

"It took off full speed, and punctured my kidney."

"You're gonna learn a lesson in this delicatessen!"

"All you ladies and fellas, go grab your umbrellas!"

"Now open up your window, you'll be so intrigued."

"But he slipped on my piss and smashed his balls."

"Now I gotta walk like a douche for the rest of my life."

"You need to stop, or you can kiss those nips goodbye."

"Turn them upside down, stick them way up your holes."

"I've been tuggin' these nips and I'm rubbin' them again."

"It's raining bullshit tonight, so go outside, and open wide."

"Now my scrotum's stretched out like a fuckin' yard, oh God."

"I’d really like to get in your pants, because I just shit in mine."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on glue."

"This could have happened to anyone. Life is just fun like that."

"I saw you walking down the street, all fucking stupid and shit."

"I can't take a dump, 'cause now my balls are blockin' up my butthole."

"I called the police and told them that my boss was trying to install a glory hole."

"Getting paid to shit. Getting paid to wipe. The best 45 minutes of my fuckin’ life."

"I don't know, bitch, fuckin' put the shade on your head, take a walk into traffic. I can't do everything for you."