#but then I listened to people. and reflected a little. now I’m on board.

[aliosne]

That’s one thing I really appreciate about Billy Bragg, socialist idol of my youth. Because this happened to him. Because it can happen to all of us. And he eventually realised that, did some self-reflection, and updated his shit, and has been publicly talking about that and exhorting other people of his generation to do the same. Not a perfect human being, obvs, but as far as role models go, seeing someone outright say, “hey, my politics stayed the same while the youth outstripped me and actually they kind of have a fucking point,” was really inspiring. I want to be the kind of person who will admit I was wrong, wasn’t fast enough, wasn’t listening, and will fix that about myself too.

It's very possible that the only way to ensure you don't become a conservative old person is to keep checking whether you're wrong. Every time. Genuinely mull over the opposing viewpoint even and especially when it's uncomfortable. You absolutely cannot a) consider yourself safely incapable of terrible principles because you're a good person, or b) treat a your disgust reaction to something as a moral truth. You can't get comfortable. Tiring! But you'd rather be tired and choose the right path, you know?

[vicsnook]

Out of Oklahoma | Tyler Owens x Reader

word count: 3326

warnings: Tornadoes, Loss, Implied smut

notes: Hey y’all 🤠 I am back with some more content! When I tell y’all I was sat at that theater. Even my boyfriend was thirsting over Glen (specifically in the rain scene, iykyk). Anyways, hope y’all enjoy this one and please don’t forget to like and reblog 🫶🏼.

I crawl out of the hotel bed at 5, hitting the snooze button on the way to the bathroom. My reflection looks back at me less than thrilled for what’s to come today.

Apparently the world hates me because there is no coffee to brew when I check the kitchenette, so now my day’s gone from bad to worse. I check my phone and sure enough I have a million messages from my dumba-sweet brother Boone about how he can’t wait for me to meet his friends.

I'm not ready for that. But nevertheless I carry on and make my way to the airport to board a flight to take me home, to Oklahoma. It’s fine, I think to myself. It’s all going to be okay. But I know it’s a lie. Still I get on the plane and pretend I’m going somewhere tropical instead of the one place I swore I wouldn’t return to.

The wheels touch down roughly on the strip, startling me awake. Here goes nothing. The airport is packed but thankfully all I have is my carry on which holds what little I left to California with six months ago. So much for making a life for myself.

The old Ram is parked just outside the doors and I know I can’t put this off any longer. After what happened last year, I want to turn around and get the hell out of dodge but I can’t avoid him forever. Not when my family needs me, well what’s left of it. “Well, well, well, look at what the cat drug in.”

I sigh and look up, locking eyes with the one person I didn’t want to see ever again. Tyler Owens. My ex-fiancée.

“Tyler. Nice to see you didn’t get blown away by a Tornado,” I force out with the fakest smile I can muster. God knows I’d love to wipe that stupid smirk off his face, amongst other things, I shake my head dismissing the stupid thought.

“Y/N, good to see you haven’t lost your sense of humor. That all your luggage?” he asks, grabbing my carry on from me and placing it in the bed of the truck before I can even answer. “Yep,” I mumble, getting into the truck.

“So, where’s Boone?” I ask, trying to ease the tension.

Tyler glances over at me and I feel my stomach do a stupid flip. Stop it!

“He’s at your Nana’s house dealing with some of the insurance people. I’m really sorry about what happened, Y/N.” he says. “We tried to warn them.”

“I know,” I say. “It’s not your fault, Tyler. You didn’t know it would turn and hit them directly.” I start to reach for his arm to comfort him but pull it back, the gesture feeling inappropriate after all that happened between us.

He nods and continues to drive on. Him and Boone blame themselves but I know there’s nothing they could’ve done. I just wish they’d see it that way.

-

The ruins of the home we grew up in come into view and my heart shatters all over again. The anger bubbling in my stomach as I see all the tornado took from us. Why!? Why us!? I want to scream at the sky as I walk up to my brother who I can tell is barely holding it together.

“Hey Boonie,” I whisper, hugging his back. His breathing shakes as he turns and pulls me into a hug, nearly suffocating me. “I tried sissy, I really did but they’re gone.” he says, “I was too late.”

I hold him as he finally breaks down and I try whispering reassurances in his ear but I know he’s not listening. My eyes make contact with Tyler’s as he heads towards the rubble and begins to sort things out.

“It’s not your fault, Boonie.” I say, holding his face so he looks at me. “There’s nothing you could’ve done.”

He nods quietly, pulling me in for another hug as the guilt consumes me for having left him behind. I should’ve never gone to California.

-

I follow Tyler to the entrance of the dingy motel on the edge of town, still holding on to Boone’s hand. “Thank you for coming, Y/N.” Boone says, handing me the key to my room. “Always,” I respond. Squeezing his hand one last time as he turns to go to his room.

“Where’s the rest of your crew? I haven’t seen them.” I ask Tyler as we head up the stairs since our rooms are on the second floor. “They’re helping some people downtown that got hit too. They asked me to give you their condolences.” He answers, stopping in front of my door.

“Um, thanks and thank you for all you’ve been doing for Boone. I hate that I couldn’t get here sooner.” I say. “California wasn’t all I thought it’d be.”

“Tried to tell ya.”

“I know. I'm sorry, Tyler.”

He moves a step forward and drops his mouth beside my ear, the distance between us almost non-existent. “Nothing to be sorry about, darling.” He drawls, pulling back, then turning around and walking into his room, leaving me in the hallway.

This man will be the death of me.

-

The weeks go by slowly as we deal with the insurance but somewhere along the way we finally get Nana’s ashes back. Boone and I take them out to the river, spreading them at the one place she loved most.

“So how are things between Kate and Tyler?” I ask Boone as we head back to the motel from the pizza parlor.

My stomach clenches, waiting for his answer.

He looks at me and grins. “Why you want to know Sissy? Any interest in getting back in that saddle?”

“Ew! No! I was just curious, Boone.” I say, glaring at him while he laughs.

“They never really were anything serious. She ran off to New York City the second she got her research. Oklahoma held too many painful memories for her or something.”

I nod. Pulling into the motel parking lot that we now call home. That is until the money from the insurance comes through and we can get to rebuilding Nana’s place.

“There’s the man of the hour.” Says Boone pointing at Tyler who’s getting out of his truck. The white shirt clinging to his chiseled chest because of the rain.

He really does look good in a cowboy hat. I think, quickly shaking my head trying to erase the thought. “Close your mouth Sissy, you’re gonna get drool all over yourself.” Boone teases and I playfully smack him, tearing my eyes off Tyler.

“You know Sissy, I don’t get it.”

“Get what?” I ask, turning off the ignition.

“How y’all girls run away from that man. I mean I ain’t blind and I may be biased because he’s my best friend but his personality doesn’t suck either.” I sigh, knowing he’s not wrong.

“It’s complicated.” I finally say, and get out of the car. Heading for my room before Boone can add anything else.

-

“Where are we going?” I ask again for the millionth time. Letting Tyler and Boone blindfold me was starting to seem like a mistake the longer we were in the truck.

It also didn’t help that Tyler was playing the cd I burned for him back in high school.

“Almost there, Sissy.” Boone assures me, as the truck left the paved road and headed down a dirt road. Please Lord don’t let this be another one of Boone’s pranks.

Tyler helps me out the truck and leads me down a rocky path. My nerves increasing by the second and wondering where my brother had ran off to.

“Tada!” yells Boone, the bandana falling off my eyes as Tyler pulls off the knot.

“I know it ain't much Sissy but I couldn’t let you keep living in that Motel much longer.” Boone says, grabbing my hand and pulling me towards the tiny home that now sits behind where Nana’s new house will be. “So, you hate it?”

“No! Thank you so much!” I yell, pulling him into a hug. “You really didn’t have to do this Boonie.” Tears stream down my face as my brother squeezes me. Thank you God for such a good brother.

“I can’t take all the credit, it was Tyler’s idea after all.” Boone whispers to me. I nod, pulling away and wiping the tears off my cheeks.

Lord knows if things were different I’d be running to Tyler and giving him a big ol’ kiss right now. But they aren’t. I remind myself so I settled for just saying “Thank you, Ty.”

“Not a problem.” He says, turning to follow my brother to my now little home.

-

“Please work, come on!” I yell at the shower. My little home was nothing but perfect, well except for the water which always seemed to go out at the most inconvenient times.

I try calling Boone but I’m greeted by his voicemail which only leaves one other person to call. Sighing I pull up his contact and dial. Ignoring the contact picture that I never bothered to change.

“Hello?”

“Hey, um sorry to bother but I can’t reach Boone and my water went out again while I was washing my hair,” I say, already regretting calling him.

“I’ll be there in a minute.” He replies, hanging up before I can say anything else. I pull on a bathrobe and tidy up before he gets here. I wince when I see my hair in the mirror, suds still in it but oh well. Tyler’s seen me how the lord made me so I doubt a little bit of suds will make me ugly.

I’m pulled out of my thoughts by his knocking and I think as I open the door that maybe I should’ve thrown some clothes on. “Hey,” I say, stepping aside as he makes his way to the water heater closet to check there first.

The minutes pass and the silence is eating me alive. The temptation to say that I was wrong for ending things the way I did consumes me. So much so that I don’t realize he’s talking to me until he comes to stand in front of me.

“Earth to Y/N? It’s fixed. You shouldn’t have any more issues.”

“Thanks Ty. I don’t know what I’d have done without you.” I reply, his eyes meeting mine.

“Live your life without fear of me dying everyday because of what I do,” he says, it's clear to me then that the wound is still very much open.

He starts to head for the door but I’m quick to get up and grab his arm, stopping him dead in his tracks. “Ty, I’m sorry. I was wrong, okay? All I did was trade tornadoes for earthquakes. Happiness for misery. I was wrong and I shouldn’t have left the way I did.” I say, my eyes searching for his.

“You left me, Y/N. You packed your bags and left without saying a word, leaving all of us behind. So, no, sorry doesn’t cut it here. I’m sorry about your Nana but you made your mistakes. Live with them.” He replies, the anger in his eyes sending chills down my spine. I swallow the lump in my throat long enough for him to walk out and slam the door on his way out. What the fuck did I do and how can I even fix it?

-

** 6 months later **

Nana’s house is finished. It looks similar to the one the tornado tore from the ground but me and Boone know it couldn’t be more different.

We bring in what we could salvage slowly and try to make it look as closely as possible to the original one. Lastly, placing a picture of Nana, Boone, and I, that Lily recovered from the wreckage on the mantel.

“Close enough,” Boone whispers, sitting on the couches that Dani and Dexter got us.

“Yeah, I just wish she was still here.” I reply, sitting across from him. “You going chasing again today?”

“Yeah, but I promise we’re being safe sissy. We don’t do that driving into tornadoes and shooting off fireworks anymore after Nana,” He answers, sadness filling his features.

“Just be safe,” I mutter, taking a seat next to him and letting him pull me into a hug. “Always.”

“For what it’s worth, he’s not really mad at you. He’s mad at himself for not realizing sooner how far gone you were until it was too late.”

A sigh escapes me as he gets up, giving me a faint smile before walking out the door. Off to chase the very thing that took the last bit of family we had.

-

The rain came in buckets. All day it’d been so pretty but as soon as I stepped outside the grocery store, I saw how much the sky had changed. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as lightning struck.

Rushing to my car, I threw the groceries in the back seat but before I could throw the car in reverse I heard it.

The tornado sirens.

I threw open the car door and started sprinting back into the grocery store but a cry for help stopped me before I could make it in. Lord please protect them. I prayed quickly.

Debris was already flying all around me when I turned to look for the source of the pleas and then I spotted her. A girl who looked no more than 15 was on the ground in the parking lot, her leg in a cast and her crutches nowhere to be seen. “Please help me!”

I ran towards her. My body going into overdrive as the wind threatened to push me over too. “Please don’t let me die,” she begged as I threw her arm around me and hurried back for the door.

The wind picked up even more and the rain turned into hail as I trekked through the lot trying to make it back inside. The short distance seemed infinite.

I felt it before I could even turn. It was there. The loud roar filled my ears as I pulled the girl in front of me and with the last of my strength I had, I pushed her to where the door was.

Then my feet left the ground as the tornado sucked me in and I felt the world go black.

-

“Bo-one?” I rasp, my throat on fire and my entire body feeling like it’d been run over. The events leading up to this moment slowly coming back to me as I struggle to open my eyes.

“Hey, he’s just outside talking to the doctor, let me get him,” replies Tyler softly. My eyes adjust to the harsh hospital lights as he steps out the door and taps Boone on the shoulder.

My head pounds as I take in my surroundings. Scratches cover up both my arms. If I looked into a mirror right now I’d probably collapse.

“Sissy! Thank God you’re okay!” Hollers Boone as he comes to my bedside, careful not to hurt me when pulling me to him. “I thought I lost you.”

His tears wetting my hospital gown as I hug him back as best I could. “I’m okay, Boonie.” I whisper in his ear as he sobs.

“Is the girl okay?” I ask, worry filling me up at the thought that she didn’t make it.

“Yes, she made it inside just in time, Sissy. You saved her life.” Boone says, taking my head in his hands and pressing our foreheads together like we did when we were kids.

I close my eyes, nodding and thanking God that we were all okay.

“I need to go sign some paperwork but if you’re feeling up to it, we can take you home today. You got lucky,” Boone tells me while getting up from my hospital bed.

“I’d love nothing more than my bed.” I reply, shooting him a smile as he steps out.

I turn to Tyler who’s been quietly standing in the corner this whole time and I notice his swollen eyes. My heart squeezing at the thought of having worried him and Boone.

“Hey,” I mutter, and his eyes finally meet mine.

“Guess Boone isn’t the only tornado chaser in the family huh,” he jokes, still standing in the corner.

“Guess not,” I reply, chuckling but my throat is so dry that it turns into a cough and he’s rushing to my bedside with a glass of water in hand.

“Thank you,” I manage to say as I chug the water. Instant relief filling my throat. “So, can you fill me in on what happened after I got sucked into the tornado?”

“Uh, well witness accounts are that you pushed the girl inside and then got sucked in. Me and Boone had been chasing the tornado and pulled into the lot as it dissipated.” He stops, taking a seat on the bed and grabbing my hand. “The people in the supermarket started pouring out and screaming that you got sucked in, of course at the time we didn’t know it’d been you. Nevertheless we all started searching and found you passed out on top of a tarp in the baseball field.”

“Oh wow, that’s quite the distance. Saved myself some gas for sure,” I joke, but he doesn’t laugh. “Y/N, you could’ve died. You got out with scratches and a story but you could’ve died,” he says, a somber look on his face.

“Hey, I’m okay. I didn’t die. Nana protected me,” I tell him, tipping his face so his eyes meet mine. “I got a second chance to start over and,” but he cuts me off.

“I love you,” he says, then his lips crash into mine. The kiss knocks the air out of my lungs but as he pulls away, I recover and pull him back to my lips.

When he finally draws back, his eyes are teary but there is no sadness in them anymore. “I’m sorry for walking out on you, if you had died, I don’t know how I could live with myself, knowing how I left things,” he says, his words piercing my heart.

“Hey,” I say softly, “I’m here and I’m okay. I know there’s a lot we need to talk about but I can promise you this, I’m not leaving Oklahoma. Ever.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” I whisper, leaning in to meet his lips.

But before we can finish our moment with a kiss Boone is bursting through the door.

-

** One month later **

“Ty! Dinner’s ready!” I holler, and I hear the sound of the shower turning off. Making my way to the living room I stop and pick up my Nana’s picture, thank you for saving me. I think to myself and put it back down.

“Ty! Come on!” I yell, quietly sneaking up the stairs to our room. Glad that Boone’s off with Lily at the fair.

“Coming!” I hear him yell from the bathroom. The towel is wrapped around his waist and drops of water make their way down his abs. Man, I’d sure love to be that towel. I think to myself as I watch from the door crack but am greeted with a smirk when I make my way up to his face.

“Hey darlin’, coming to see the view?” he asks cheekily, turning to me. Busted.

“Well you’re the one who says “if you feel it, chase it,” and I sure am feeling a lot of things right now,” I reply, letting my eyes trail down his chest.

“Oh, yeah?” he replies, coming closer. “Well you better start running.”

I giggle and turn to run but don’t even make it out the room before he’s tackling me to the bed. Dinner is gonna be real cold when we’re done here.

[imtooscaredforthis]

Entrapment

Chapter Twenty Four: Unexpected

Mentions of: Dubcon/noncon themes, stabbing, death, and murder, etc.

A/N: some more pervy Johnny for you lmao

Tags: @dead-bxxxtch-walking @mama-miya @moonshineinasippycup @stwbwwychan @vandeaad @the-fandoms-georgie

“I feel like we haven’t talked in forever. How are you? How is everything?” Rachel asked as the two of you exited the building together and walked to the parking lot.

“I’m good. Work has been pretty good. Jed is a great partner.” You admitted with a shrug.

“I’m sure he is. You guys getting along good?” She asked with a teasing grin. “Yeah- what’s that look for?”

“Nothing. So you guys are close?” You don’t like where this is going.

“I mean, yeah- but..” You scoffed when you noticed Rachel’s smug grin. She’s onto you.

“Will you quit it? He and I are just friends. He’s like a brother to me.” You lied.

Rachel laughed at that. “Bullshit. I’m not dumb. I can tell when two people are fucking, and you and Jed totally are. But don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me. No judgment here.”

Before you could finish your conversation, the two of you split up, and she went to her car, while you walked home. You looked over your shoulder to make sure the coast was clear before you called after her.

“Jed and I aren’t- we’re not fucking, okay?! We’re just friends.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night, babe!” She called back. You rolled your eyes, shaking your head as you walked off, trying to ignore how flustered she had gotten you.

It’s fine. She won’t tell anyone. At worst she’ll just keep teasing you like this. Even if it was annoying, there wasn’t much you could do about it.

—

Once you got back home, you changed your clothes and had a glass of wine to wind down. But you didn’t relax, no. You never relax anymore. How could you when you know he’s still out there, harming more innocent people? Jesse, Lucia and Nate all deserved justice. You weren’t going to rest until you got it for them.

As you ate your dinner, you stared at the bulletin board you put up on your wall, with pictures of Ghostface’s victims, reports of his last sightings, and anything you could find. You managed to make some connections as to where he would find his victims.

You did find quite a few that went to Walleye’s but there were still inconsistencies here and there. All you knew was that most of them were average people, middle class and normal, which makes it even harder for him to figure out who he’s after next.

You stared at the board for a little while, before sitting down on your couch, running a hand through your hair. With all the time you had been spending with Jed, you haven’t been able to focus much on this. But today, he was out sick, giving you more room to think about Ghostface, even if you didn’t want to.

With a frustrated sigh, you grabbed the remote, clicking on the TV.

“Breaking news: Couple Marie and Carlton Thomas have been found dead in their home this afternoon.”

You stared at the screen in complete shock as a photo of them flashed onto the tv, listening as it continued. “The couple was found by a neighbor this evening when they noticed that their back door was open and their dog had escaped. They were stabbed to death, both having almost twenty wounds each. So the question we’re all wondering is: could this be another Ghostface murder?”

“We’re still figuring out motives, but the possibility is there. We’re working as hard as we can to catch this guy and all we can say right now is follow the curfew and lock your doors at night, and if you see anything suspicious, don’t be afraid to say something.” The sheriff said.

You couldn’t watch any more of this bullshit. You reached over and shut off the tv, sighing softly. Staring at the black reflection of the screen, you realized someone was standing behind you.

“Boo.” You sprung up from the couch, gasping in surprise. You turned on your heel trying to face him straight on. You moved so fast that you stumbled forward, causing him to catch you.

“Careful there, sweetheart, we don’t want you getting hurt do we?” Ghostface cooed in that same condescending tone. You tore yourself from his grip, glowering at him.

You stepped back into the kitchen, grabbing a knife and raising it threateningly. “Stay the fuck away from me.”

How did he even get in? How did you not notice him? He has been standing behind you while you were watching, and you were completely vulnerable. He could’ve easily killed you, but he didn’t. He was toying with you.

“Oh, come on, Dollface. Don’t be like that. I missed you. And from what I can tell, you missed me too.” He gestured to the bulletin board on your wall, before walking over to you. He took slow steps, like a predator ready to pounce.

Just because he didn’t want to kill you didn’t mean he didn’t want to hurt you..but you knew attacking him would only end badly. You lowered the knife slightly, but didn’t let it go.

He moved swiftly, grabbing your wrist and slamming it against the wall, making you drop the knife. “There you go. Good girl.”

“What do you want from me?” You couldn’t help but ask, angry and fearful. “What? Can’t we just have a nice little chat? You’re the one who pulled out the knife.”

He released your wrist, letting you go. “I think it’s time we catch up. You’ve been doing a lot lately, haven’t you? Had a lot of fun with your little Boy Scout?”

“Boy Scout? You mean-”

“Your little boyfriend? Jeb or Jed or whatever? The one who’s helping you write articles on me? Yeah, him. I’ve been watching you two..and you really seemed to be enjoying yourself, slut.”

You felt yourself grow flustered from humiliation and embarrassment. “Don’t hurt him.”

“Awww you want to protect him, how sweet. Don’t worry, toots. I’m not planning on it. As long as you behave, that is. Though I will say, I am jealous.” You felt his other arm hook around your back, the cool blade pressing into you and making you arch forward and into his touch, and his hand moved from your wrist to your chin, tilting your head upward while he examined your body.

“Such a pretty thing. I wouldn’t mind having you myself.” He pressed his knife into your back, forcing your waist to press against his, feeling his hardness.

He forced your shirt upwards, and you tried to stop him, but he smacked your hands away. He smirked. “No bra? How naughty.”

He eyed your tits, while you squirmed slightly in his grip, trying to get him to stop, but the harsh press of his knife and his groin managed to get you to still. His gloved hand caressed your breasts, before sliding down to your stomach.

“Yeah, we’re definitely gonna have some fun later.” You could hear the lust and smugness in his voice.

“What makes you think I would want to do any of that with you? I don’t even want to touch you! I hate you!” You hissed in disgust.

“Oh, I know you do. But you don’t have a choice do you? Not if you want your friends to live.” He leaned over and pressed his mask to your ear, his voice lowering. “You think Jed’s good? I’ll have you screaming and crying for me. And you’ll love it like the good little whore you are.”

He slightly ground his hardness against you, and you bit your lip to hold back a whimper. He removed his knife from your back, pressing it against your front instead. With the flick of his wrist, he cut your stomach, causing you to cry out.

“Just something to remember me by. Don’t worry, I’ll be back, and we’ll have fun very soon.”

He let you go, stalking off into your bedroom, and leaving out the side window onto the fire escape.

Yeah, you need to change your locks.

[sun-dappledfields]

Heyyy hiiii hellloooo :3

Any activity ideas for a vampire?

This is my first time doing one of these, so apologies if it’s bad. Also, uh. Sorry it’s so long … got a little carried away ^-^’

VAMPIREKIN HELPKIT !

Remember, these are just ideas meant to inspire you. Only you can dictate your identity as a vampire— if you don’t feel connected to anything here, then that’s fine! No one else can tell you how to identify as a vampire: only you can.

You are valid. You are amazing. You are beautiful. Fangs or no fangs. Sunlight or no sunlight. Cloak or no cloak. Reflection or no reflection. You are a vampire through and through, and no one can change that. Here are some other affirmations for you so you can practice love and acceptance for your vampy self!

Affirmations:

I am a vampire through and through!

I am still a vampire even if my skin is not pale, my fangs are not sharp, or I don’t crave blood.

My experiences as a vampire are valid.

My fangs are beautiful, big or small! They are gleaming and sharp and perfect.

My aura exudes vampiric excellence.

I am the count(ess) of acceptance and progress.

I am perfect even if I don’t connect with bats.

It is okay if I’m afraid of blood— not all vampires feed!

This vessel radiates vampiric beauty.

I am always on point! (Haha, puns.)

Even if I can’t stay up late or avoid the sun, I am still an amazing vampire.

No matter what, I am totally rad!

Now, here are some fun activities you could do to connect with your vampire side more! :D

Activities:

Create a playlist with vampiric vibes and your favorite songs to listen to.

Make a Pinterest board in honor of your beautiful vampire self! Put images of pretty castles, spooky animals, general vibes, or whatever you think fits!

Write a journal and keep track of all your monstrous experiences and escapades.

Drinking cranberry juice, pomegranate juice, fruit punch, grape juice, or other darker/red drinks. (Don’t drink real blood unless you know it’s safe, bats!)

Hang upside down! Some vampire have a bat form and hanging upside down might make you feel more connected to your bat side.

Stay up late (But not too late: even vampires need their beauty sleep!)

Avoid the sun— maybe wear big hats, sunglasses, or get a parasol. (Still get some sunlight every once in a while, though. It may be uncomfortable, but even vamps need all of the good minerals the sun provides; just wear lots of sunscreen!)

Avoid garlic (unless you *really* like it… then you might just have an immunity to it!)

Try to bite into juicy fruits or foods with your fangs or your front teeth and then drink the juice out.

Light candles and turn off your room lights— create a spooooky atmosphere in your vampiric den!

Read vampire stories or watch vampire movies to look at and learn the experiences of other vampires.

Paint with watery red or black paints— create an image that reminds you of your dream castle, how you view yourself, or something else!

Go outside and admire the beauty of the moon.

Create or purchase bat-themed items!

Turn your bed into your very own coffin! Whether this be by decorating it with bat plushies, putting a veil over it, shaping your blankets to make a comfy coffin shape, or something else— it’s up to you!

Pick flowers and dry them so you can appreciate their deathly beauty.

Buy affirming/gothic items like ornate candle holders, red bath bombs, red LED lights, etc …

Brush your fangs well!

Use spooky themed chewelry in case you have biting urges.

Visit graveyards (respectfully!) or explore victorian houses online.

Admire your deathly reflection— in this vessel you can see yourself in mirrors, so you should definitely make the best of it!

Make a habit to ask to enter other people’s houses! Being polite is certainly important, wink wink.

And finally some vampiric snacks! Vampires need fuel, too!

Snacks & Treats:

Red drinks or fruit juices that remind you of blood!

Ripe fruits! The feeling of fangs sinking into the fruit is akin to that of prey!

Tender or juicy meats give the feeling of a bloody meal without being bloody.

Foods with actual blood in them, like blood sausage or blood pudding.

Cookies! (Even if they aren’t spooky… cookies are great for any creature!)

Jam-filled things— imagine biting through your prey and getting to the blood in the center!

Some vampkin playlists, to help set a spooky mood.

(None of these are mine— kudos to all the beings who made these! :D)

And last, but not least: A moodboard and a color pallet, just for funsies!

I hope this served you well! If there’s anything you’d like to change, any recommendations, or any feedback in general, let me know! Opinions are always appreciated. ^.^ !

My requests are open ! ! :D

[nerdraging4point0]

The Scorpion and the Scales // Chapter Three // PolyAU

Tropes and Tags: MF, MFM, MFMM, instalove, too much sex, tattooed musicians, polyverse, friends to lovers.

Content warning: 18+ only MDNI,PinV, PinA, oral (f!recieveing, m!recieving), threesomes, light BDSM, voyeurism, exhibitionism, partner sharing, jealousy, angst.

This work below is fictionalized ideas and stories involving real people but does not directly reflect their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. Please keep in mind that this is a work of fiction.

Active taglist: @ladyveronikawrites @tearfallpixie @beaker1636 @circle-with-me @synthetic-wasp-570 @itsjustemily @thesazzb @vinyardmauro @cookiesupplier @concreteemo @dominuslunae @mountains-to-move @sundamariis @caitcoreeeee @crimson-calligraphyx @letmeadoreyoux @starsomens @artificialbreezy @lma1986 @iknownothingpeople @lilrubles @shilohrosechicken @missduffsblog @jessicafg03 @thatchickwiththecamera @mysticdoodlez @chels3a-smile @sinkingteethinwhitenoise @deathblacksmoke @roley-poley-foley @ravieisunhinged @dethronetheveil @to-be-written @somewhere-diamond @somebodyels3 @sacredthefran @bloody-delusion-expert @shilohrosechicken

As I stand in line at the cozy coffee shop, I gaze up at the menu board, pretending I don't already know my order by heart. My phone pings in my pocket - a new text from Chris, sending a random musing about the sunny Florida weather. We've been texting for months now, and it still feels surreal. The morning after our chance encounter in his hotel, I was sure it had all been a dream...until his flirtatious text arrived later that day. I had to pinch myself when Noah slid into my DMs shortly after, smoothly asking for my number through their manager. I eagerly gave it to him, but later kicked myself for seeming overly eager. I should have played it cooler. But now, breathing in the aroma of fresh coffee on this crisp spring morning, I can't help but smile thinking back on it all.

I shuffle up to the counter, my wet boots squeaking on the tile floor. "Large latte please," I mumble through chattering teeth as I fish a few damp bills from my coat pocket. The barista nods and punches it in. I head over to the pickup counter, anxiously awaiting the hot drink to warm my frozen fingers.

Staring out the fogged up window at the gloomy gray sky, I snap a photo of the heavy rain clouds looming overhead. I quickly text it to Chris with the caption "Must be nice *sad emoji*". I wrap my hands around the steaming paper cup as soon as it's ready, letting the heat seep through my icy skin. 

Opening a new thread I send the image to Noah, my response to him completely different. “Can’t wait to be in warmer weather. *sunglasses emoji* *palm trees*” smiling to myself as I pocket my phone and head to my car. Just as I hop into my drivers seat the message pings again. Chris. 

Chris: Gonna meet me at the festival next week?

I feel my heart sink a little knowing I’m gonna have to say no. I’d promised Noah I’d come out and visit that week, it was a last minute plan and up until yesterday I wasn’t sure I was gonna go. 

Eve: Sorry, can’t. I’ll be in LA next week.

I leaned back in my seat, lost in thought as I contemplated my relationship with Noah. He had been such a good friend these past few months, always there to listen and offer a kind word when I needed it. But was it more than that? Between all the playful banter and shameless flirting, it was hard to tell if he felt the same spark I did.

We had never actually met in person, besides that one night at the concert. So it was difficult to gauge whether he was genuinely flirting back, or just being friendly. I sighed, wondering if I should even continue pursuing this. Chris and I had something real, something solid. This thing with Noah, as fun as it was, might just be a fantasy.

I am pulled from my thoughts by Noah pinging my phone with a new message.

Noah: you got somewhere to crash when you visit?

Eve: I'm searching for hotels now.

Noah: Nah forget that. Come stay at my crib, we got extra rooms since some of the homies are outta town.

Eve: For real? You sure that's cool?

Noah: Hell yeah, it's chill. We got a house with spare bedrooms and if it becomes an issue I'll put you up in a hotel, no stress.

I smile to myself taking a sip of my latte before starting up my car and heading to work. 

"What the hell, man?!" I shouted at Nick from across our living room. That sneaky bastard had swiped my phone while I was grabbing the pizza we just ordered. And when I saw that she finally texted back, I realized the dude had a whole conversation with her that I missed!

"Come on, bro. You know you've been crushing on this girl for months but haven't had the balls to make a real move," Nick said, flipping open the pizza box and piling up slices on his plate. "I was just helping my best bud out."

I couldn't believe it. I mean I know we're close, but impersonating me to chat up my crush? Not cool. But he had a point - I should've made a move sooner instead of just flirting around. Still, not the right way to go about it. I grabbed a slice and sat down next to him, still pissed but hungry. We'd figure this out over pizza like we always did.

I was nervous about the whole thing at first. Sure, she'd been pretty, and yeah, I'd asked for her number, but I figured it would just be some crazy fan conversation. I'd change my number after and no harm done, right? But then we started talking and...she was actually fun to talk to. And somehow I found myself becoming attracted to her.

What would she think when she got here? There were no spare rooms - all the guys were already here, we fucking lived here. That meant she'd have to crash on the couch. Or in my room, as Nick suggested. He thought it would be a "good icebreaker" for us to share close quarters. I hadn't bothered to text Eve back and tell her it was Nick, not me, messaging her. But Nick promised he'd put her up in a hotel if she wasn't comfortable with the arrangements. I hoped he'd keep that promise if it came to it.

This whole situation had me feeling unsure, off-balance. But part of me was also intrigued to see what would unfold. I just hoped I wouldn't do anything to mess this up.

But then I stop and think for a second. A girl coming here? To my house? I haven't had that happen since...well, since the last one found my address and showed up unannounced. That's why I moved here in the first place - to get away from all that. What if this chick is just as psycho? I've seen Fatal Attraction, okay? I know how these things can go.

Suddenly I'm not so hungry anymore. Nick sees the look on my face and sits down next to me. We've been friends long enough that he can read my thoughts. "It'll be fine, man," he says. "She flirts with you all the time. Just be friends if you want. Or more than friends, I don't care. It's only a week - I'm sure you can handle it."

I know he's right. I just need to chill out and see how it goes. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at least a little bit nervous about what's coming.

I landed at the airport and did everything I could to delay leaving the terminal. I grabbed some overpriced lunch and wandered around aimlessly, trying to work up the nerve to actually go through with this. Noah had texted me his address right before I got on my flight back in Denver. Now I was just staring at it on my phone, wondering if I should put it into Uber or not. My heart was pounding. My stomach was doing backflips. Should I text him and say I landed? Should I ask if he still wanted me to come over? The fact that he gave me his address had to mean something, right? Ugh, I was so nervous I thought I might puke. But I knew I had to woman up and just go for it. I took a deep breath, requested the Uber, and tapped in his address with shaky fingers. Here goes nothing.

My heart was racing as my Uber pulled up to the curb. I had no idea what to expect when I entered the address into the app - all I knew was that I was heading to the Hollywood Hills to meet a potential new client.

As we wound through the hills, I pressed my forehead against the window and took it all in. The homes were magnificent - sprawling mansions tucked away on manicured properties. So different from the cramped apartments I was used to back in Colorado.

I breathed in deeply, but the smell of rain here was nothing like back home. There was a metallic edge to the air that left a bitter taste in my mouth.

We rounded a bend and the driver slowed. I clutched my bag, my palms growing sweaty. This was it. He pulled a U-turn and stopped in front of a house that looked like it cost more than I'd make in my lifetime.

My jaw dropped as I took in the immaculate home before me, with its pristine windows and crisp white walls. The red brick driveway was occupied by a couple of modest cars, typical for this ritzy neighborhood. I stepped out of the town car, murmuring thanks to the driver as he retrieved my bag from the trunk. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the imposing house. You can leave, I thought. Hop right back in the car and get out of here. But my feet carried me up the driveway, still gaping at the sheer size of the place. Movement in one of the windows made me freeze. What if I had the wrong address? How mortifying would that be? The front door opened and out stepped Nick, wearing a baseball cap, silver shorts and an anime shirt, no shoes. My heart pounded as I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing, I thought, as I approached the front steps.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw Nick waiting for me on the porch, barefoot as always. "Hey Nick," I said with a smile. "Noah said you were expecting me."

"Yeah, it was my idea for you to crash here," he grinned. "Now get inside, it's freezing out here!"

I laughed as I stepped into the pristine house. "This isn't cold to me, you California boys don't know what cold is!" I joked, slipping off my shoes by instinct.

The interior was super modern - all greys, browns and beiges, not what you'd expect from a heavy metal band's pad. To the right was a hallway and stairs, and just past the foyer was a huge living room with a white sectional facing a giant flatscreen over the fireplace. My eyes landed on the couch, where I saw another familiar face turn to look at me.

The sight of him took my breath away. He'd cut his hair even shorter than the last time I saw him, but he was still so tall - even barefoot, he towered over me. When he wrapped me in a hug, it felt awkward at first as we tried to figure out where to put our hands. But then I felt the strength of his arms around my waist as he playfully lifted me off the ground, making me giggle.

I could have stayed there forever, but he sent me down all to soon. Noah took my bag and reached for my hand, leading me upstairs. My heart raced at his touch. As we walked down the hall, he pointed out the different rooms, but I could barely focus. All I could think about was how close we were and the tingles running up my arm from his hand in mine.

When we got to the bedroom, he let me step inside first. It wasn't huge, but it was cozy and full of him. The unmade bed, the books and soda cans scattered around - it just felt so intimate being in his personal space. I caught a glimpse of his impressive gaming setup, but I was much more interested in taking in every detail of him. The way he smiled at me then, I thought my knees would give out. I don't know how I'll ever be able to concentrate with this gorgeous, sweet guy right down the hall. But I can't wait to try.

I took in Noah's room, still surprised that Nick had pulled a fast one on me and arranged for me to stay here. Clothes were strewn across the unmade bed where Noah had just dropped my bag. Posters for bands and anime littered the walls alongside framed vinyl records. It was such a guy's room.

"Sorry for the mess," Noah said, scratching his neck awkwardly. "I didn't have much time to clean up."

My heartbeat quickened being alone with him in his space. I crossed my arms, hoping he couldn't tell how nervous I was. Noah Sebastian's room. I was standing in Noah Sebastian's actual bedroom.

"Don't worry about it," I said, trying to sound casual. "I appreciate you letting me crash here this week."

"No problem," Noah replied. "I'll take the couch so you can have the bed."

"Oh, don't let me put you out, I can take the couch."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "You're not putting me out. More like Nick did."

I tilted my head, feigning innocence. "There a reason for that?" I glanced away, pretending to admire his book collection so he wouldn't see my blushing cheeks.

"Uh, nothing that I need to repeat," he mumbled awkwardly. I couldn't resist peeking up to gauge his reaction. But as our eyes met, mine wandered past him to the floor-to-ceiling windows framing the rolling hills and glittering cityscape beyond.

The sweeping view of the Hollywood Hills took my breath away. "Wow," I whispered, wandering over to the window for a closer look. Noah joined me, gesturing at the barely visible mountains peeking through the morning haze. "Nice, right? On a clear day you can see for miles."

I laughed and gave him a playful nudge. "C'mon, with all this smog? I've got you beat."

He raised an eyebrow, a smile tugging at his lips. "Oh really?"

"Mmhmm." I scrolled through my phone until I found the perfect photo. "Check this out."

It was a shot of Pikes Peak from my apartment window last February, covered in a pristine blanket of snow. I angled the screen towards Noah and watched his eyes widen.

"Now that's a view, sweetheart," he admitted with a chuckle. "Maybe I should reconsider."

I grinned, giving his arm a squeeze. "Told you. But don't worry..." I leaned in close, my voice dropping to a whisper. "You still have the better view right now."

Noah's POV

I could barely believe my eyes when she walked into my room and laid down on my bed. The hours melted away as we talked and laughed, her sweet voice soothing my nerves. Ordering takeout was an excuse to stay close, our legs touching as we watched trashy shows.

When night fell, everything changed. She emerged from the bathroom in those tiny black shorts, her endless legs on full display. I tried not to stare as she slid under the covers beside me. My heart pounded as I turned down the lights, bathing us in a soft purple glow. Part of me wanted to reach out and touch her, but I held back, not wanting to ruin our friendship.

She protested as I lowered the curtains, craving the city lights. I wanted to give her anything she desired in that moment. With her lying there, looking like a dream, it took all my willpower to keep things platonic. But I knew if I made a move, crossed that line, there would be no going back.

“You wanna go to the beach tomorrow?” The sound of her voice pulled me back from my wandering thoughts. Was she seriously asking about the beach right now? It's the middle of March - there's no way it's warm enough yet.

"It's still freezing out," I replied, sitting up quickly. Was she crazy or just messing with me?

"The forecast says 75 degrees tomorrow. Perfect beach weather!"

I scoffed. "Yeah, maybe if you're a polar bear. No way is 75 warm enough for the beach."

She rolled onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow. "Says who?" she challenged with a smirk.

"Says anyone with common sense. Go ahead and freeze if you want, but don't expect me to join your little arctic adventure," I quipped back.

She pouted playfully. "But I got a cute new bikini just to take Insta pics in! You're really gonna deprive me of that?"

I shuddered as my eyes traced over her. The way her tank top had slipped just enough to tease me, her creamy bare legs stretched out so close... Focus, man.

"You can take poolside pictures instead," I suggested, struggling to keep my voice steady.

She crossed her arms with an exaggerated frown. The way it pushed her chest up towards me did nothing to tame my thoughts.

"No fair," she whined.

What's not fair is you still being dressed, I thought. I bit my cheek to keep from saying it out loud.

"Never said I was fair," I quipped, patting her thigh twice before standing up. "I need a snack. Be right back."

Her laughter followed me out of the room. "Always with the song lyrics, huh?"

I hurried down the stairs, trying not to look at the guys playing video games as I made my way to the kitchen. My heart was pounding as I grabbed a couple bags of gushers and a gatorade. I couldn't believe I was about to be alone with her again.

When I got back to my room, there she was. Sitting on her knees, clutching a pillow to her chest, biting her lip. God, she looked so cute like that. I wanted to kiss her so badly.

"You look deep in thought," I said, cursing myself for sounding so lame. I sat on the edge of the bed and tried to play it cool as I finished off a pack of gushers.

"Just tired I guess," she said. I could tell she was lying but I didn't want to push her.

"You bite your lower lip when you're tired?" I asked. Smooth, real smooth. I couldn't stop staring at her mouth.

"This is your first time really hanging out with me. You don't know everything about me yet," she replied.

As she brought her knees to her chest, I felt my heart sink. She was closing herself off from me. I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around her, but I was too scared to make a move. There were so many things I wanted to say, but the words got stuck in my throat. I had to play this cool if I didn't want to mess this up.

“Why did Nick want me to sleep in your room?” her question cuts the air like a knife.

I didn't want to admit it, but I couldn't get her question out of my head. The truth was, Nick knew me too well. He could see right through my nonchalant attitude to the longing underneath. Ever since she walked into my life, I've been drawn to her - her quick wit, her magnetic energy, the way her eyes light up when she laughs.

I took a deep breath to steady my nerves before responding. "Nick thinks I need some female companionship. He suggested you might be interested." I paused, heart pounding, worried I'd revealed too much. Her joke about professionals made me smile, but I couldn't hide the vulnerability in my eyes.

I busied myself tidying the nightstand, needing a distraction from the growing tension between us. But I couldn't resist asking the real question: "Do you want to?" I held my breath, knowing everything would change based on her answer. Part of me was terrified, but an even bigger part was thrilled by the possibilities her reply might bring. I could no longer deny my feelings; all I could do was put myself out there and hope she felt the same spark I did.

[manheeiim]

chapter seven: don't need to be told

-- a ghostly love masterlist

I looked into Wally’s eyes, completely flustered. I wanted to look into his eyes but at the same time, I felt the urge to look away due to embarrassment. “I’m.. um, going to go to Charley.” I tell Wally. He raises his eyebrows a little but not really in a shocked way, more of a “I know what I do to you” way. 

“Yeah, alright.” He says and nods, looking over at Charley.

I hesitated before walking off to Charley who was still stabbing the football equipment with a stick.

“Charley!” I yell, trying to get his attention over his screaming. “Charley!” I say again.

The boy looks over at me, catching his breath. “Oh, hey, Lucia.” He greets me.

“Hey.” I smile.

“What’s up?” Charley asks.

“Nothing.. I just.. you said that I can talk to you if I needed to, right?” I asked. 

“Yeah, of course.” Charley tells me.

“Well, it’s more of a question actually.” I say and he nods, signaling for me to go on. “Did Wally have a girlfriend before he died?” I ask, guessing that he did.

“Yeah, he did. He talked about her a lot when he first died but after a while, he’d only mention her every once in a while. Honestly, I think he only did that to annoy us.” Charley answered. “But, ever since you got here, he hasn’t mentioned her once.” He tells me.

“Oh, um, okay.” I awkwardly say.

“Why? You have a crush?” Charley asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Don’t even. I don’t have a crush on Wally, or anyone for that matter.” I lied.

Charley looks at me with a “yeah, right” look. “Whatever you say, Lucia.” He tells me.

I look over at the football equipment, “Have fun, Charley.” I say, patting his arm gently before walking off.

<3

I walked down the crowded hallway of my school. As I walked, I looked around at the people that I knew and didn’t know so well. As I was walking, I spotted my best friend, Chloe. She was standing with two other cheerleaders on the team. The two girls were talking while Chloe just listened, nodding along, and making sounds like “Mm-hm” as a way to somewhat contribute to the conversation.

It looked like she wasn’t taking my death too well. Maybe this is wrong, but I’m kind of glad. Well, not that she’s feeling this way, definitely not. I’m just glad that I can see that someone actually cares, even if that’s a little self-involved.

The bell rang, meaning it was time for the next class. “Let’s go to lunch.” One of the girls said.

Chloe and the other girl followed after this girl, all heading to lunch. I watched as they walked away, just standing there. I then looked down at my cheer uniform and adjusted it a little with a sigh. I looked ahead, and continued walking down the hall.

<3

“I’m afraid reciting all of Ginsberg might have us howl-ing at the end.” Mr. Martin says as he stood in front of a chalkboard and we all sat in a circle. Charley gave him a sorry smile as no one was really laughing or even smiling at the joke. Mr. Martin awkwardly cleared his throat, “Lucia, do you have anything that you want to do over the weekend?” He asked me.

“I need to figure out if I’m a bad person or not.” I answered.

“Um.. I don’t really know if that’s fun but I’ll put that on the board.” Mr. Martin says, turning towards the board. “Hmmm, I’ll put “self-reflect” on the board.” He said as he wrote it down.

“Why do you think you’re a bad person?” Wally asked me.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she was one.” Rhonda commented.

I do my best to ignore Rhonda’s comment as I look at Wally. I think for a moment, wanting to know how to phrase this properly. I then looked down at my lap, “I think that I’m a bad person because I felt kind of good after seeing my best friend obviously sad about my death.” I say.

“Yeah, definitely a bad person.” Rhonda said, nodding her head.

“Wait, Rhonda. Let her explain.” Mr. Martin told her before looking at me.

“It’s not that I felt good in a “I’m so happy that she’s sad right now” way, but more that I felt good in a sense that seeing her like that made me feel cared about.” I tell Mr. Martin. 

“Hm, well that makes sense. You needed reassurance. That’s normal.” Mr. Martin tells me.

“I guess so.” Is all I say as I look at the board behind him. “Movie night?” I say and Mr. Martin nods.

“We figured it’d be a good way to break up the monotony.” Mr. Martin explains.

“If I may,” Charley spoke and I looked over at him. “to be fair, watching the same fives sports movies over and over again is kind of monotonous, Mr. Martin.” He says while looking at Wally.

“I thought you loved Rudy.” Wally says.

“No.” Charley responded. 

“Wow.” Wally exclaims. “Just w- I can’t even.” Wally says

“Wait, what’s Rudy?” I ask Wally who gasps. 

“If you want to be with me, you have to watch Rudy.” Wally says.

“Who said I wanted to be with you?” I asked, teasing him. “No one had to say anything, I could tell.” Wally responded, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back and spread his legs.

<3

I was sitting down on a couch in the library, Rhonda on the floor near me, a book in a hand as she drank from someone’s cup. Not that it mattered anymore nor did it affect this person. Wally and Charley were looking for movies. 

“Okay, Bull Durham.” Wally suggested to Charley who’s on the other side of the bookshelf.

“Eh, too much baseball.” Charley told him.

“Okay,” Wally looks through the movies on the shelf, “The Natural.” He suggested. 

“Way too much baseball.” Charley says.

“Boom, we got it.” Wally gets another one. “Rad Racing.” He held up the movie.

“Oh, is that the one where they do the BMX bike ballet at the school dance?” Charley asked Wally.

Wally nods, “Yeah, it is. And it’s freakin’ amazing.” Wally told him. 

“Oh, no. It’s absolutely not though.” Charley retorted.

<3

We all gathered in the kitchen to get some food and some food for the movie night we were having. I grabbed a salad before walking over to Wally who was grabbing a bunch of food and putting it on the cart. I look at all the things he had on the cart.

He glanced over at me as he opened a container-shelf-thingy and took a cookie out of it. “Want a cookie?” He asked me.

“Sure.” I say and he hands me one.

I take a bite and immediately scrunch my nose at the taste. I swallow it down. “It’s bad?” Wally asked and I nodded. He holds his hand out to take it and so I give it to him. He then takes a bite and makes a face as well. We continued to walk when a janitor walked by with an open container. Wally put his arm out in front of me and dropped the cookie in the tray, making me smile.

We walked over to Rhonda and Charley and I looked over to see Chloe walking through the cafeteria with the other girls, seemingly having just had practiced. “Um… one sec.” I say before walking over to them, following after them and leaving the others behind. Yes, that sounded creepy, but it was only so that I could see how she was doing.

<3

Chloe said goodbye to the girls before she walked over to the bus stop bench and sat down. I’d completely forgotten that this would be what she’d have to do after practice now. Before, I used to just drive her home since she didn’t have her license. Now, since I wasn’t here, she had to take the bus. Or, actually, she could have ridden with someone else on the team but I get it, they could be a lot sometimes.

I sat down next to her as she leaned back, I could see her holding back tears. I watched as they slid down her cheek and I watched as she started sobbing. I felt awkward. I always did in situations like this. I was never good at comforting people when they were upset in life, nor was I in death. Not that I could comfort her anyways. I was just, never really taught that skill.

I glanced over after seeing something in the corner of my eye and I was met with Rhonda, Charley, and Wally standing on the other side of the glass bus stop-thing. I looked over at them before I got up from the bench, walking over to them. “Who’s that?” Charley asked.

“My best friend, Chloe.” I answered.

“Oh.” Is all he said. “Hasn’t been taking it well, has she?” Charley asked.

“I mean, would you if your best friend died?” Rhonda asked him.

“True.” Charley said.

“Let’s just… go inside.” I say, shrugging, refusing to look over at Chloe again.

Charley just nods before leading the way, Rhonda goes with him and Wally stays behind with me. 

“Are you good?” Wally asked me.

“I’m- I’m fine.” I simply answered.

“You sure?” Wally asked.

“Yep.” I told him. “I mean, it’s just.. I feel bad.” I shrugged.

“It’s not your fault, you know? You dying. It was just a.. freak accident. Just like how I died.” Wally told me. 

I think about what he said for a moment, “You said you died at the homecoming game, right?” I asked him.

“Yeah.” Wally told me. I just nodded, not really knowing what to say. Once again, I’m not the best when it comes to comforting people. 

“Let’s just go inside.” I told him.

“Sure.” He said, understanding.

[thetevinterspy]

Lessons from Years in the Dragon Age Fandom: How I Learned to Be Less of an Asshole.

I graduated high school in 1999. It wasn’t until my junior or senior year that we had a computer at home, and I still vividly remember skipping class to sneak into the school library and log into Yahoo! Chat rooms. Since then, I’ve been a part of countless online communities and fandoms, each shaping my experience in some way.

One community that’s had a lasting impact is the Dragon Age fandom. I’ve been involved, in one way or another, since 2010. I especially remember the lead-up to Inquisition. I was active on the BSN boards, arguing with anyone who dared to disagree with me. I participated in the drama, spoke my mind with little restraint, and fought hard to have the “winning” opinion. Looking back, I realize I was part of the problem.

Now, with years of life experience and the added perspective of parenting, my desire to argue with strangers on the internet has waned. My approach to fandom has changed—hopefully for the better. Here are a few things I’ve learned along the way:

1. Just because I believe it, doesn’t make it true.

Passionate opinions are fine, but they don’t equal fact. Fandoms thrive on different interpretations, and that’s okay.

2. EA, BioWare, and the Dragon Age team don’t owe me anything.

Not closure, not specific storylines—nothing. They’re making their game, not mine.

3. Developers are real people who deserve respect.

Behind every game is a team of people working hard. It’s easy to forget that in the heat of an online debate.

4. The developers want us to love Veilguard just as much as we do.

Nobody sets out to make a bad game. The team is putting their all into it, and they don’t want to disappoint us.

5. The block button is your friend.

It took me way too long to embrace this. If someone’s being toxic, just block them. There’s no need to engage. Block. Rinse. Repeat.

6. Nobody, except for you, cares about your Warden.

Your personal Dragon Age experience is just that—personal. You don’t need to argue with others about how their playthroughs should go.

7. Follow creators from diverse backgrounds.

Seek out voices from people of color, people with disabilities, and the LGBTQIA+ community. You’ll learn more, and the fandom will be richer for it.

8. Sending threats makes you part of the problem.

If you’re sending threats to developers, content creators, or anyone else because of a storyline or character you didn’t like, you’re hurting the very thing you claim to love.

9. Harassing marginalized groups is never okay.

This should go without saying, but if you’re harassing anyone—whether they’re a person of color, LGBTQIA+, or anyone else—you’re not just part of the problem, you are the problem.

10. Self-awareness is key.

Over the years, I’ve learned that sometimes I am the problem. Taking a step back and reflecting on my own behavior in fandom spaces has helped me grow, and it’s something I think everyone could benefit from. Recognizing when to listen and when to step back is a crucial part of being a positive member of any community.

Over the years, I’ve come to understand that fandom is about celebrating what we love—not tearing each other, or the creators, down. These lessons didn’t come overnight, but they’ve made me a better community member. And one day, I hope they’ll make me an even better community manager. I’ve long had a goal of working as a community manager for a fandom that I’m passionate about, helping to foster positive, inclusive spaces where people can share their love for the stories and worlds that bring us together.

Until then, I’ll keep learning, keep engaging, and most importantly—keep blocking, and stay positive! Only 21 days left!!

xoxox,

Jess

[rollercoasterwords]

I’m so here for all this book hate, and I’m just laying in bed kicking my feet besides you listening to all these people rant. And I so agree with the ‘this book is gay’ thing. Like ESPECIALLY now during pride month everyone is like read these 5 queer books and the only thing it says is oh this mc is bi, oh it has a trans character, oh the main ship is sapphic. I’m like okay, cool, what more? Is that it?

I had this with ‘the priory of the orange tree’ which I loved, but the only thing I was told is ‘there’s a sapphic ship’ and ‘it’s high fantasy’ which yeah it is to both. But that’s not even what the book is about and you could’ve just told me what it was about and told these other things. just imagine if they would do that with other big fantasy books ‘yeah it’s fantasy and straight, enjoy’

Same thing with they both die at the end. Fun book, not revolutionary, I agree what the person said, the mcs are the most boring in the book. But it’s gay so it’s amazing… sure

lol yeah i love a good hater sesh <3 and YEAH like. i understand people compiling lists of books w certain types of representation etc bc obviously there are lots of people who want to seek out books that reflect certain experiences etc, but. if the rec begins and ends with just 'it's [x type of queer] and [x genre]!" then i'm like....ok. anything else or....

and i do think it happens particularly often with queer books but also i don't think it's entirely devoid from straight books either lol it's just that instead of going "it's straight and fantasy!" they'll go "dark love interest and fantasy" or some equally surface level label lol. same with the lists that are like "dark academia books" etc i think...i mean i don't necessarily know that this is a new phenomenon but maybe it's just become more visible/common 2 me bc of the shifting landscape of social media that prioritizes shortform algorithmic content but it feels like this widespread practice of packaging books as aesthetic products more than like. literature. if that makes sense...idk still parsing through my thoughts on this but. yeah just feels like a very surface level way to engage w books--and the thing is it seems like it's a growing way that writers/publishers are marketing their books as well. like i don't really fault the authors for this bc ik in this day and age they have to do a ton of legwork to market their own shit to get it like picked up by publishers or whatever and so they kinda have to play the game (<- try desperately to go viral on tiktok) but every time i see a video that's like a writer going "would you read THIS??" and then it's like. a list of their protagonist's identities and then just a general/vague nod to some subgenre that sounds like a pinterest board title i throw up in my mouth a little ngl. and it's not like i think literature is some sort of Higher Art Form that must always be Venerated it's more that consumerism feels so fucking inescapable and every art form has to be boiled down into something that will go viral on tiktok these days and it makes me want 2 scream!!

anyway this turned into a little rant of my own lol but. agree w u ty 4 partaking in this hater experience w me <3

[lucysweatslove]

Finished NeuroTribes today. Yes, I binge-listened, and I even put it up from 1.5x to 1.75x then 2x and then 2.3x. My brain just needed it faster, idk.

This means I’m 2 books away from 100! If I finish Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (misplaced Kindle and need to find) and The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck (20% through) by Friday before bed, that would be kinda cool, 100 books in half a year.

Contrary to what people say to do, I try not to set too many goals for recreational things / things I do just for fun. Such as reading. Meeting goals can give a sense of achievement and pride, and goals are particularly helpful in getting me to do things I Don’t Really Want To Do (assuming I set the goal myself; otherwise Demand Avoidance enters the chat). However, goals also start to suck the fun out of things I already want to do / am motivated to do on their own. Even if they’re reachable, I focus too much on the goal instead of the intrinsic enjoyment of said thing. Which is why I try not to have goals for # of books to read in general. Buuuut I think this is a time where a short term goal can actually help.

I wavered on whether or not to give NeuroTribes 3 or 4 stars in Goodreads as I felt it was sold 3.5; ultimately I went with 3. That might be different if I visually read instead of listening to the audiobook, as no matter how slow (or fast) I have audiobooks playing, I don’t retain small details as well as I do while visually reading. General thoughts:

Seemed to portray more pictures of autism as those who are lower masking and have higher support needs.

Did talk about the strengths that autistic people bring to society, used Temple Grandin a lot here (I like her so I’m not mad about it).

The downside was that for most of it, he really presented autism in two ways: more profound autism with lower IQ, or such low social engagement, or such high support needs (often to the point that families find them a burden and families, historically they have been institutionalized, there is significant shock and relief when they can do basic ADLs on their own- which I’m iffy on the presentation), OR genius “savant syndrome” level autism. I would’ve more liked representation from those who do have low support needs and are high maskers but aren’t “savant syndrome” level geniuses at their special interest or anything to that degree. I found it difficult to find “me” in the examples, exactly, or a lot of the autistic people I know, and I had to remind myself much of the time that I am still valid even if my intelligent and hyperlexia doesn’t reach the examples he gave.

In later portions he did talk about it as a spectrum (which he also credits Hans Asperger for initially postulating- but that brings up another bullet point), so it’s not like he totally ignores that there are people like me, or my autistic friends, or whoever out there, but the general feel seems to gloss over us.

Also used the “if you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism” idea to reflect that every autistic person is different

Thankfully portrayed how ABA was founded in a negative light. Not like “ABA is stupid and harmful and nobody should ever do it” but actually explained how using punishment for behavioral modification passed review boards

I can’t remember if it was addressed, but he used “functioning” labels for some of the book which is gross.

Dude had a huge boner for Hans Asperger, but this was also written in a time where the common idea was that he was anti-Nazi and only seemed to favor the “lower support needs” kids (“little professors”) to try to get Nazis to not kill autistic kids. Like “look at how useful these kids are, it would be such a shame to kill them when they have so much use to the state.” When I have more emotional energy, I’d like to do a deeper dive into the guy, but as of right now, my opinion of him is fairly low, and I was overall very annoyed at the level of reverence given to him in the book.

Talked about some controversies regarding vaccines and how autism speaks is more “cure” driven than actually support/resource driven.

Did eventually get into the modern day advocacy movement, how more autistic people are demanding their voices be heard when autism is discussed, and how there is a push from actually autistic people for advocacy groups to focus on resources and support and “normalizing” autism as a different neuro type vs “curing” it like it’s something faulty. Also mentioned that actually autistic people have pushed for “disability first” language instead of person-first, which I appreciated.

Overall an interesting history of how we have historically categorized, tried to explain, or pathologize autism in general, and how as we have come to understand it more, we realize how much more common it is.

He talked a little about how when autistic people are around other autistic people, or when alone, struggles and level of disability tend to decrease. But, I wish he would’ve gone deeper into some of the social issues autistic people face, especially the women who do want to fit in, how NT people can often tell when somebody is autistic even if they don’t have the words for it (they can just tell there is something uniquely different)

I think if I had read this in 2015 when it was published, it would have been a 4 star. Which is why I struggled with the 3 or 4 star rating- I want to judge it based on the information available at the time he was researching and writing, but at the same time, I feel like I can’t condone a book that is so Asperger-positive, and a 4 star review feels like condoning it. And I really did want more of a comprehensive look of multiple presentations, not just the very much struggling autistic people who need high levels of support or the Darwins and Einsteins or Grandins in the world.

I guess what it comes down to… to me it feels like this was written for the neurotypical person, and maybe with a goal to shift their view of autism. Establishing a common ground of the stereotyped picture, but then challenging that view primarily by showing the amazing achievements of autistic people, too. Which, I mean, that’s fine to a degree, and it’s not like he talks about those who present more stereotypical in disrespectful ways exactly (he himself isn’t disrespectful, but he doesn’t shy away from detailing the awful history). I just wish the message was less “we need autistic people in society because of all the good the genius ones can do for us NTs” and more “regardless of their support needs or achievements, autistic people deserve to live in an accepting, accommodating, understanding world.”

[aerodaltonimperial]

baby, please (would you read my eulogy?)

(This is the group chat's fault LOL. Canon gives me nothing so I have to resort to shit like this?? Ugh look at me. @hookedtheghoul dubbed this JungleCorpse and it's fucking genius so we are going with it HAHA)

His head hurts. It’s not a strange sensation, and certainly not an unusual one on any given Wednesday, but the ache began at the back, where his spine meets up with his skull, and then spread like blooming flower petals until it’s taken over most of his thoughts. When he presses his fingertips to the nape of his neck, gingerly, the skin is tender and sore beneath his touch. He’ll pay for this one, for Sammy targeting in on all the weakest joints he’s got, but beneath the pain, Jack vows to make MJF pay more.

It was supposed to be the three of them against the problem; the three of them against the man who holds everything and is grateful for nothing. And now it’s not, and Jack’s not sure which part upsets him more: that he believed it would all play out fair and square, above board, or that he believed, deep down, that he’d eventually win.

Dealing with the sting of losing will have to come after dealing with the much more pronounced pain littered across his body. He stands in the bathroom of his hotel room and checks his reflection for anything out of the ordinary—broken blood vessels, open wounds, the usual drill. There’s nothing but a smattering of already purpling bruises that will rainbow within days. Jack’s hands fall back to his sides, knuckles scraping across the fake marble counter.

There’s a knock at the door.

Of all the people to be standing on the other side when he opens it, Jack honestly never would have expected this one.

There’s a moment of nothing, of stillness, of the quiet that descends when words slip off into failure, and then Darby holds up the ice bucket. “Can I come in?”

There are a thousand reasons Jack should say no, but he pulls the door open wider, the barest of invitations. Darby takes it.

“What are you doing here?” Jack asks, when the door has clicked latched once more.

Darby gives the room once-over as though his own isn’t identical, right down to the framed pictures on the wall. “We need to talk about what we’re going to do.”

“Do?” Jack parrots.

“About MJF. And Sammy.”

Jack laughs, involuntary and mirthless. “We’re not going to do anything. I’m going to take a shower, and go to sleep so that I can forget this whole day.”

“He cheated,” Darby says. His eyes flicker to Jack’s, narrow at the edges. Flecks of the white paint drawing a harsh line down his face have caught on his cheek. “They both cheated.”

“And we probably should have expected it,” Jack replies, harsher than he anticipated. “So that’s on us.”

A pause. Then: “I wanted it to be you in the next match.”

“Why?” Jack crosses his arms over his chest. He’s got few defenses left, but hell if he isn’t going to cling to the remainder. “Because I’m the easier target?”

Another pause, longer this time. “No.”

Jack sighs. “I don’t care, Darby. And I ask again, why are you here? We aren’t friends.”

“We’ve got a common enemy,” Darby says, like it means something.

“Oh, cut the ‘enemy of my enemy’ bullshit,” Jack snaps. “It doesn’t matter what MJF and Sammy did—I’m out. You all got what you wanted.”

Darby’s expression twists. “I didn’t say I wanted that.”

“Why wouldn’t you? I was in your way just like Sammy’s.” This is ridiculous; Jack needs to go to sleep, take care of the litter of bruises he’s going to be sporting by morning. He doesn’t have time to argue with Darby about the ethical ramifications of MJF and Sammy deciding to join forces. “Listen, I’m exhausted, okay? I just got thrown into a table by a guy whose tongue is hanging out of his mouth more often than not. I can’t do this now.”

“Can you do it later?” Darby asks.

“What does that even mean?”

Darby’s still got the ice bucket in his hands. He raises it up again, gives the plastic a little shake. “I’ll help.”

“Why?” Jack counters.

Ignoring the question, Darby circles his index finger lazily. “Sit. And turn around.”

Jack shouldn’t. He really ought to kick Darby out of his room and lock the door behind him. This entire thing is bizarre, the sort of thing Jack can’t reasonably conceive the ending to. But he sits, because his skin is aflame, and doesn’t argue when Darby swings a leg over onto the bed behind him.

The ice stings, and Jack winces, though it begins to numb the worst of the marks on his back within a minute. He sags into the sensation, his muscles protesting the whole time, and then he waits while Darby slides the ice around a few times before trying to push the conversation again. “They can’t both have the belt. One of them will turn on the other.”

“Yeah,” Darby says. Apparently, it’s not a new train of thought. “But we have to deal with this bullshit until then.”

Jack loops his fingers together in his lap, absently. Stares at the black television face. “You want to join up. Against them.”

Darby doesn’t answer. The patch of ice sweeps over to Jack’s other shoulder blade, another shock of cold.

“Why would you want to join up with me?” Jack asks, and before Darby even has the time to reply, adds, “I just got out of something like that. I’m not interested in doing it again.”

“Not even to take out MJF?”

“How would we even do that? You want to cheat just like they do?” Jack snorts. “I don’t want to stoop to their level. Not even to win. Besides, I already told you: I’m out now. If you want to beat them, you’ve still got the chance.”

Behind him, Darby sighs. He sounds annoyed, but Jack can’t find it in himself to care. “Think about it.”

“Already did.”

“Think about it when you haven’t been thrown through a table by Sammy Guevara.” Darby stands up, dropping the ice and the towel wrapped around it into Jack’s hands with little fanfare. He gets halfway to the door before pausing and turning, the unpainted side of his face glowing warm in the yellow hotel lighting. “You might feel differently tomorrow.”

“Why did you want it to be me in the next match?” Jack asks. His fingers tighten around the cold fabric in his lap.

Darby just holds his gaze, sharp, offering absolutely nothing. “See you, Jack.”

He leaves Jack with far more questions than answers. But in his wake, the hotel room is quiet: too quiet. Jack doesn’t want to spend time with the anger that’s already starting to coil in his stomach. He’s done enough of that. He gets up and goes to his suitcase to pull out his phone and tap a quick message, hoping that a new perspective might shed light on the situation. Darby showed up at my door after the match. I think he wants to join forces or something.

The reply takes only a few seconds: he said that?

Not in quite so many words. Jack frowns. He tugs his bottom lip between his teeth just to roll the flesh around a little. He brought ice to help with the bruising.

The three dots appear, flickering. i’m sorry WHAT?? And then a second later, a follow-up: WHAT????

“Dammit,” Jack sighs.

His phone lights up with another message: i’m coming over don’t do anything stupid

“I don’t do stupid things,” Jack mutters, and tosses his phone on the bed. Thirty seconds later, there’s another knock on his door. This time, at least, he knows exactly who is on the other side.

“This is unnecessary,” he says as he opens it up and Hook breezes in like he owns the place, hair askew and hands shoved down into his hoodie pocket.

Hook turns a wide circle, almost like he thinks Jack has somehow stashed Darby behind the curtains or something, and then levels Jack with an expression bordering on incredulous. “He came over here with ice? And you didn’t think that was weird?”

“I have to stop giving you my room number,” Jack says.

Hook’s disbelief grows more pronounced. “Jack, you hate each other.”

“No, we hate MJF,” Jack points out. “And, at this point, Sammy, because seriously, fuck that guy. This whole thing is a nightmare. It’s just politics.”

“Politics doesn’t come over to ice your bruises. I don’t even do that.”

“Yeah, cause you’re an asshole,” Jack says.

“Not the point.” Hook rolls his eyes.

The clock face tells him that it’s far, far too late for conversations like this. Jack throws his head back. “What are you trying to say here, Hook? I’m tired. I don’t have time for this.”

“Oh my god, Jack, think this through,” Hook tells him. “Why would he do that?”

A moment, a beat; Jack doesn’t trust it. Doesn’t like it. He scowls. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what, make sense?” Hook hits him with another of his unimpressed looks. “You’re just mad because I’m right.”

“I’m not mad, and you’re not right. You’re insane, is what you are.”

“Darby Allin showed up here with ice for your injuries and you think I’m insane,” Hook deadpans.

“I’m not listening to you,” Jack says. Then he waves a hand between them back and forth a few times. "Please get that look off your face, the one where you think I'm an idiot."

"I don't know how to get it off my face."

Jack is too tired for this. "Yes, you do."

"You're right, I just don't want to." Hook sniffs, that unconscious crinkling of his nose he seems to do when he's lost in thought. "So what are you going to do about this? Even if you don’t believe me that there’s ulterior motives here, it’s obvious Darby wants something from you.”

"I don't know," Jack admits. His head hurts. His body hurts; he's been snapped in a million pieces, and he honestly just cannot attempt to sort through the mess that is Darby right now.

"Seems like you should figure that out soon." Hook raises one eyebrow, the judgy bitch.

"Yeah?" Jack counters. "Should I? You sent that text yet asking how recovery is going?"

Silence. Hook works his jaw around in a slow circle while glaring at Jack across the hotel carpet. And then, after what feels like an eternity loaded with all the bullshit neither of them is willing to wade into, he says, "I don't know why I'm friends with you."

"Ditto." Jack sighs, rolling his neck around. Despite it all, the ice has helped, and it’s one more thing he files away to think about when he’s got more brain power. "You wanna watch a movie or something?"

"Yeah." Hook climbs onto the bed without further invitation, grabbing for the remote on the bedside table, and Jack resigns himself to something with far more explosions than necessary. He takes a far too quick shower, and emerges to find one of those obnoxious car racing movies on, the ones he has long since lost count of. But it doesn't really matter. He settles up on the pillows next to Hook, and they watch in companionable silence. 

Hook falls asleep within the hour, his head tilted back against the headboard, sleepy little sighs slipping past his lips. It happens more often than not, and Jack wonders when, if ever, Hook will figure out that he gravitates to having body heat next to him like a missile. Jack’s never met anyone as miserably lonely as Hook is, especially given how much the man staunchly refuses to do anything to change the situation. But Hook is a familiar tangle, comforting by this point, and the rest…

When Jack reaches for his phone, he's got an unread message from an unknown number. He clicks in.

Make sure to put new ice on in the morning. And think about what I said.

Jack’s eyes slide to the left, but Hook’s still asleep. For some reason, Jack wants to keep this close to his chest for now. He waits a moment, and then another; finally, he thumbs down to the input. He types, very slowly: Okay.

Then he taps into the string of numbers at the top and saves the contact under ‘Darby.’

Jack watches to the end of the movie, full of explosions and gasoline fires and cars screaming off of towers, with Hook muttering nonsense in his sleep next to him and a thousand thoughts racing through his head.

[talenlee]

February 2024 Wrapup

Hey hang on, this month normally fits nicely into the schedule with standard numbers! Who put an extra day in this Smooch Month? I guess that means that this year, the year is just a little extra smoochy! But those four weeks and an extra, they are past us and now it is time to reflect on what happened this month, and what I wrote.

If you check this blog periodically, you might have missed all sorts of interesting articles just because, you know, discoverability is hard.

For once I wasn’t completely hosed trying to come up with smoochy games for Smooch Month! I actually had other things that I think I’m going to bump to next year’s Smooch Month and they’ll be, like, still relevant, how cool is that?

Dream Crush, a voting board game that makes that venerable game mechanic really interesting.

Ouendan (Video), a video article on my beloved videogame Ouendan. This is an update and expansion of an older article. I made a flag transition in this one!

Thirsty Sword Lesbians, a TTRPG about inclusivity that made me feel alienated in how reads and presents its player actions.

Hinedere Beat, a lovely little parkour platformer that made me think about a lot of words I don’t use. This one winds up talking about the Nazis!

That’s not all though, because if you check the Talen and Fox playlist, you’ll find that we also played through The Secret of Monkey Island! We selected that one because, even as a 90s point and clicker, it still represented an interesting take on a character relationship, and a girl who is interested in a boy and it’s clear why.

There were also a bunch of story pile articles, talking about smoochy movies and anime!

D.E.B.S., part of our Positronic Collection viewing. It’s a movie about silly spies, and it’s also actually factually about a queer couple!

Tomo-Chan is a Girl, an extremely mid anime that I appreciate because of how much better it made other mediocre anime look!

A Tail of Love, a Hallmark movie, with Fox as guest spot, which we’re happy to watch this time because it’s just boring and doesn’t feature dog theft.

Insomniacs After School, an anime I really love about two people with a common, down to earth problem, and the way the world looks when you can share it with just one person.

That’s not all the articles you can read (or watch, or listen to!) here on press dot exe! I also wrote about a whole range of other topics, and I think these articles are worth a second look if you missed them!

As it was Smooch month, I wrote about a bunch of stuff relating to romance. I checked out some old media’s examples of that, like in the Transformers episode The Girl Who Loved Powerglide, or the Animorphs shipping couple of Tobias and Rachel in Can A Bird Love a Falcon. I feel like that joke is a little too subtle. I also reflected on a romantic anime of my youth, and how modern discourse are replicating old conversations with The Ranma 1/2 Subreddit is Repeating History, and that then built out idea space for a consideration of the commonality between Homestuck and Ranma 1/2 with Homestuck 1/2. And since we’re talking anime I reflected on how much I liked the anime Shikimori’s Not Just A Cutie because of how it represented non-het, non-mono romance even though it absolutely does represent that with The Unhinged Performative Heteronormativity of Shikimori’s Not Just A Cutie.

Rounding that out and with a slightly darker take, I also wrote about my experience observing fundamentalist churches interacting with some of the hardest experiences couples have with Fundie Divorce, and then reflected on the way we’ve been ‘told’ relationships should work with an article about the history of Remote Romance.

Finally, I spent some time on D&D related stuff, looking at Sanders and Danube from Cobrin’Seil as places who could represent Yuri, and the strange commonality of Love Potions as purchaseable devices and what that meant about the world and its economy. I also wrote 4e for Two, as an article about how you might want to arrange the game for a two player experience.

Also, if you’re a fan of my custom magic cards, I put out two articles about this year’s Magic The Gathering set Vox Maxima: cards and story.

This month I made a shirt that tried to wed my familiarity with overly ornate stained glass from Wealthy Church Members’ doors and high-up windows, and also my love for easy geometry.

If you want, you can get this design on a sticker, or a shirt!

February is the last month of summer here, and the weather has become more extreme. Hot days are hotter, and then they’re punctuated with heavy, rainy days. The humidity in my area is a constant part of summer days, because I’m near two bodies of water. The sun hits the water, the water fills the air and the temperature can’t get too high because of that. Means the weather report says ‘oh yeah it’s like 29 degrees’ and that’s not so bad but then you check and it’s 80-90% humidity. The result is now that weather forecasts in my area include the stat ‘feels like’ and that has hovered around the mid 30s pretty consistently.

It’s not like it’s the hottest place in the world — I can just imagine people assering ‘well it’s over 40 in’ — and I don’t care. What I care about is how not being able to sleep has messed with my everything. Sleeping and eating are the two things that I keep thinking about when it comes to this time – I don’t do things that involve cooking heavily in the oven, because of the weather and all, and sometimes I’m up until 3 in the morning just because I can’t sleep and then I spend that time being unhappily watching biblical documentaries. I guess in the context of food I’ve been eating a lot of lentils? I got that point where I stopped buying canned lentils and started buying dried lentils (in a mix) and just keeping a little tub of them in the fridge soaking in water so any time I want to make A Food, I will just grab some of the lentil mix and use that instead of like, minced meat or chicken.

I have however, spent every week of this month aggressively getting words into my literature review, which I glibly call to my friends ‘The Word Pit.’ Every week has had a section drafted, with the attempt to make a schedule that gets my production up to pace for when the semester starts. I feel good about this pace of change, and I feel good about getting this kind of progress going, but it does also mean that every day I feel like I wake up and I have to generate two piles of words and this blog is the much easier one to generate.

Friends have gone through some rough stuff this month. Not putting their stuff on the streets, but it’s happened and I’ve been trying to be there for my friends while also acknowledging that I need to generate a few thousand words a day for an incredibly important project.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[darkhymns-fic]

With Tea, Stew, and Character Creation

It's the night before Colette must leave on the Journey of Regeneration, but, maybe for now, she can pretend she's on another journey instead.

Fandom: Tales of Symphonia Characters: Colette Brunel, Lloyd Irving, Raine Sage, Genis Sage, Kratos Aurion, Dirk Rating: G Word Count: 2500 Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: It's launch day for Tales of Symphonia Remastered! So I can share my Symphonia fic that I wrote for @talesfanzine. The story also includes spot art by @frayed-symphony which you can check out on her blog! 🎲

If you missed the pre-orders, there will be zine leftover sales starting March 15. Don’t miss out on all the amazing Tales art and fics! And thank you again to the mods at the zine for having me on board!

--

It was the peculiar knickknack, perched on a shelf within the lower floor of Lloyd’s home, that had suddenly caught Colette’s eye.

Even as she felt the urgency of her journey, of Raine and Genis waiting for her at the table, of Kratos’ gaze as he sat nearby, hearing the creak of the floorboards as Lloyd came downstairs and the gurgling of boiling water where Dirk had a kettle on the stove, she lingered.

“Colette? What is it?” Lloyd asked, walking up to her.

“Oh, just…did you make this?” she asked, pointing to a figurine. It was carved from cedar, holding a bow in its left hand.

“No, but… Oh! It’s from that game we have! Right, Dad?”

Dirk chuckled as he poured tea into clay cups, steam twisting up in the air. “That’s one of the set pieces from it. Ya probably forgot to put it away and stuck it up there since.”

“I did?”

Colette’s curiosity was piqued. She couldn’t help herself but ask, “Can we play it?”

“Oh, like…right now?” Seeing the smile stretch across his cheeks, it wasn’t a question asked out of confusion, but of eagerness. “Sure! Dad, is it okay if we take it out? I promise we’ll put all the pieces back!”

“I was just about to serve tea to our guests. A little game would go well with it.”

There was only a soft clearing of the throat to show Kratos had been listening in before speaking. “We should begin preparations for our departure tomorrow. The hour is growing late.”

Lloyd’s smile flipped to a frown immediately. “Not like you have to play. And it’s rude to decide for other people, you know!” That earned a snicker from Genis, and even a little smirk from Raine.

Still, it did make Colette reflect on her childishness. “Ah, I’m sorry, I really should–”

“I think the decision should be up to the Chosen, don’t you agree?” Raine spoke from her seat. “Besides, we’ve already accepted the tea.”

A pause from Kratos followed by a shrug. “This will still be considered part of my assignment from the Church.”

“Of course.”

She silently thanked her teacher for letting her indulge, at least a little bit.

--

Colette couldn’t recall many instances of games at her own household besides the occasional cat’s cradle with her grandmother. Nothing as frivolous as toys on the floor, her room always tidy, with just the occasional star decoration for her windows. She had nothing like the box set Lloyd brought over, happily taking out more of the figures that looked like the one on the shelf. Each was a different person, a different story to them, the details so intricate on the pieces, from the folds of clothing to the studs on belt buckles.

“There’s even a rulebook in here on how to play,” Genis commented. Raine, seated across from him, looked to the pieces with interest. Kratos remained aloof in his corner, sipping the tea that Dirk had given him earlier.

“Yeah, it’s fun! You like, um… imagine who you wanna be. And play as them!” Lloyd took his seat next to Colette, shoulder brushing hers and shaking the table in his movement–which then… whined?

Lloyd peered his head down. “Noishe, why are you in here? You’re supposed to be in the stable!”

Instead, the giant dog had made his home underneath the table, despite it barely fitting him. To Colette, he looked like a piece of the green earth, matching with the potted plants that lined the walls and hung from the ceiling.

“It seems your pet wanted some company,” Kratos said.

Lloyd looked curiously at the mercenary, then sighed. “Fine, but you better go to bed later.” This was followed by a delighted whuff! and ecstatic tail-wagging.

Meanwhile, Colette was looking at the design of the box itself. It was carved to show the ridges of mountains, the curling lines of rivers, and even the gentle curves of the tops of trees. The map within was enthralling, a smaller version of Sylvarant. The carved figures were spread around the table, tiny heroes that could go out into this world that was made for them.

“It’s like going on an adventure!”

Lloyd grinned. “We could do this as a warm-up for when we go traveling for real.”

When we go. She made sure to keep her smile fixed.

--

Choosing their characters took a better part of the hour, their tea becoming lukewarm. She saw Dirk prepare something else at the stove, recalling when he had retrieved some potatoes from a nearby barrel earlier. Noishe was slumbering at their feet, his tail shuffling from side to side.

“I want to be the dual swordsman!” Lloyd shouted, looking through the pieces–then furrowed his brows. “Hey… where’s the guy with the double swords? He’s my favorite!”

“Ya lost him, lad,” Dirk called out, chopping a carrot. “On your way to school, remember? Ya wanted to show it off but dropped it into a river.”

“What?! Now who am I gonna play?”

“How about this one?” Colette picked up one figure gently, holding it up for Lloyd to see. “He’s a swordsman, too!”

Although, the figure only had one sword, coupled with a shield, which Lloyd noted. “I know, but he’s not the same…  and I don’t really like the way he smirks.”

“I think he looks nice.” Sure, the figure had a bit of a leering grin, with flowing locks to match, but he held a confidence that she couldn’t help but admire.

If Colette liked something, Lloyd was sure to follow. (There weren’t any other sword fighters anyway). He took the figure reluctantly. “Next time, I’m carving one of my own.” His eyes lit up with sudden inspiration. “With four swords this time!”

“Lloyd, we already have a Sword Dancer in this game and you can’t play him.”

“I–I know that, Genis!” Lloyd complained, who had definitely not known that.

“Can I choose her?” Colette took a figure who she found so mysterious, with beautiful eyes of amber. Unlike herself, this person seemed like they’d be graceful on their feet! “What’s her name?”

“I don’t think they have names,” Genis said. “But you just chose the assassin.”

“That sounds cool! I wanna be an assassin!”

“I bet you’d make a great assassin, Lloyd!”

“Really? You think so?”

Genis deftly slid between Lloyd and Colette’s conversation. “You already have your swordsman, now stick with it!”

“I’ll choose this one.” Raine was nonplussed with the small argument, picking out her figure. “He looks reliable.”

All three stared at what she held, then back to Raine.. “He looks…” Lloyd started. “Beefy.”

“His shirt is so small,” Colette commented. “He must be cold.”

Genis’ right eye twitched. “You’re choosing the fighter?”

Raine placed a hand on her chin. “Is that an issue?”

“No, it’s fine… I’d say I’m a bit worried your team doesn’t have a healer, but Lloyd’s character has some healing spells.”

“Wait, my guy does magic?”

“… It says it right on your character sheet.”

Then, there was one person left…

Colette thought Kratos looked a bit lonely, so she had asked him to join in, despite Lloyd’s protests. Kratos seemed surprised at the offer, but didn’t refuse, seating himself along with the rest.

Yet most of the playing pieces were falling apart or just missing–so he had been left with the last one left intact.

“You get the barbarian.” Genis gave him a small figure, giant axe held in its hand.

“Oh, is she a dwarf?” Colette asked.

“But she’s small, even for a dwarf!” Lloyd added.

Raine raised an eyebrow. “Is that not just a child?”

Kratos blinked, staring at the figure whose hair was arranged in charming twintails. “… She  seems resilient,” he said dryly.

Lloyd muttered something that only Colette could hear. “He’s somehow gonna be good at this, isn’t he?”

She giggled into her hand.

--

The rules were a bit complicated to Colette. Numbers seemed quite important! Especially for what was called their ‘attributes.’

“Lloyd,” Genis said, seeing his friend  scribble furiously on some paper. “You can’t put everything into strength.”

“But shouldn’t I want my guy to be strong?”

There was also something about the preparation that was invigorating. Colette thought over her character, the things she’d be good at, the history she had. She imagined she was a friendly assassin who owned dozens of dogs, and embarked on her adventures so that she could buy them all the food and treats they wanted!

When they finally played the game, thoughts of her journey flitted away.

“You’re deeper in the mines. There’s no more sunlight, so only your torches can help you see.” Genis’ voice was low, looking over the map, instruction book still in hand. “But the treasure is close. You’re at a crossway in the tunnels. What do you do?”

Raine opened her mouth to speak, but Lloyd barreled through loudly. “Let’s go right!”

“Should we check for traps first?” Colette asked.

“Oh, good thinking.”

She could use her trap-checking ability! But first, she needed to roll.

The multiple-sided dice were as pretty as jewelry, the runes that represented numbers carved delicately on each side. She didn’t completely understand the rules when it came to dice-rolling, but Genis had ensured everyone he’d take care of it.

“Good luck, Colette!” Lloyd cheered as she rolled, holding his character in hand. He seemed more comfortable playing his special swordsman now!

“And…” Genis paused, causing everyone to lean in to await his verdict as he read the numbers; even Kratos seemed invested. “You failed to deactivate the trap. You fall into the pit that was hidden.”

“Oh no, not again!”

Lloyd looked at the dice suspiciously. “This is the third miss in a row! Not even the real Colette falls that much!”

“Hey, it’s not my fault her rolls are unlucky.”

“Then I roll to go and rescue her!” Lloyd took the dice, cupped them in both hands and shook furiously. “With…” He squinted at his sheet. “Can’t I just jump in there?”

“You know you’ll also fall into the pit?” Genis sighed, taking Lloyd’s sheet. “Just roll. I’ll tell you to use whatever skill is best.”

Raine laughed quietly. “Someone’s being a very helpful dungeon-master.”

“I’d rather not have people die in our first game...”

“It’s fine! I rescued her, right, Genis?” Lloyd looked quite proud at his dice’s numbers, arms crossed and grinning wide.

“Yeah, but you also got yourself injured. You didn’t escape the damage check.”

“... Dammit. Okay, uh, I wanna use my healing spells!”

“You just had your turn. Also, did you forget you barely put anything into your intellect attribute? Your healing spells are practically worthless.”

“Oh…”

Even after the trap mishap, there were still perils on their journey underground. From taking a wrong turn and reaching a dead end, to being ambushed by giant cave bats that could only be defeated by a single swing of Kratos’ great axe attack–which had been just a ‘lucky roll’ according to Lloyd.

Then, they finally found the treasure within the deepest regions of the caves. Until… “There’s something guarding it,” Genis intoned.

Lloyd’s eyes brightened at the sound of a strong enemy, Raine’s with curiosity, and Kratos’ with exhaustion. Colette imagined everyone’s characters with the same expression,  the thought making her smile. “What’s guarding it?” she asked.

Genis took a deep breath, his voice taking on a dramatic tone. “A leftover demon from… Niflheim. ” Lifting away the book he had been holding over his face, Genis revealed another figure larger than the others; one with a skeletal face, riding on a lizard-like monster, and  brandishing a wickedly-long sword. “The Hell Knight!”

Lloyd thrust his figure at the carved enemy, his character’s sword clinking against the other’s. “Finally, a real fight! I roll to attack it!”

“I’ll help! Can I use my, um…” Colette looked at her sheet. “Backstab? But would I have to stab the cute lizard he’s riding, too?”

“I say we let our barbarian handle this,” Raine said. Kratos sighed tiredly.

“Ugh, but he gets to fight everything! Why not us?”

“Because you’re the support,” Kratos explained. “It would be prudent for you to stand back, as you are also still injured. And the Cho–the assassin should use her thieving abilities to get the treasure.”

Lloyd groaned. “You’re always so bossy. It’s my roll anyway, so I choose to attack and–Uh.”

His figure with the weird smirk was suddenly gone, the Hell Knight now only facing three adventurers.

“Where’d he go?!”

Colette shyly tapped Lloyd’s shoulder, looking as sorry as if she had taken away his character herself. “Noishe got to it when you weren’t looking…”

There was a gnawing sound from underneath their table.

Noishe had Lloyd’s character in his jaws, biting around its head like a chew toy and holding the rest of it between his giant paws.

“Stop eating him, Noishe!”

With a whine, Noishe stood up, bumping the table. Figures were knocked askew, as well as a few teacups. As he ran off, Colette thought that the figure’s smirk had transformed into a frown by then, probably from Noishe’s teeth making marks on it…

With their map covered in tea and chaos, and Lloyd leaving the table to run after Noishe, Genis shrugged. “Guess that’s game over for now.”

“Aw, I wanted to finish our adventure,” Colette said, having now clutched her character to save her from another fall. 

“Seriously, I had such a cool boss fight planned for you all.” Genis shook his head as he gathered up the figures, all while Lloyd tried to rescue his own from Noishe in their scuffle - and didn’t sound like he was succeeding very well. “But we can continue this next time!”

From her side, she saw Raine’s smile fade, saw Kratos close his eyes–if only for a second.

Colette nodded to Genis. “Next time.”

--

The stew Dirk had served after their game had been so delicious and warm, the feeling running through Colette’s chest, all while the crickets chirped in the night air.

But she had to leave eventually.

“Sorry we couldn’t finish our game,” Lloyd said. Both stood just outside the doorway, the others already crossing the small river, waiting on the dirt path. “But I’m gonna make my swordsman so powerful next time. We’ll beat that boss easy!”

“Hehe. I’ll do the same with my assassin.” She placed her hands behind her back, feeling the wind against her skin. “This was really fun!”

Lloyd’s smile to her felt as warm as the stew she had eaten, heating up her chest. In a strange moment of bravery, she wanted to reach for his hand. What if she…?

“Hey, Colette,” Lloyd’s voice was soft, like the leaves rustling around them. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

… She had a duty to fulfill.

“Yeah.” Her boots crunched the grass as she stepped away. “Goodbye.”

She was grateful they got to go on one adventure together.

[achtung-attitude]

CHAPTER 76: Lost and Out of Time

Before the ashes of the riots had cooled, the Congregation rose to power, quickly absorbing or driving out the lesser gangs within the Black and Asian communities. Soon they expanded, making contact with the cartel and subjugating them.

All-Kill was there to witness the first Stand ritual. The disgraced luchadora, Phantasma Juarez, graciously accepted her own Stand from Dust, somehow finding a kindred in the preacher. He remained as pious as always, saying to the masked woman, “I see your heart, and it is pure. You will certainly lead the worthy into Paradise. You will be a true hero.”

All-Kill always saw through him. The dream of Paradise was empty. He believed only in his own ambition.

With the fast friendship between his new ‘business partners’, All-Kill offered his comrade, Gangak, a position alongside him in the organization. What he needed now were allies.

He had already started by taking in Sang-ok. Then Gangak acquired his own Stand, in a sense finally becoming equals with All-Kill. And later, in the ruins of a small town in Northern California, All-Kill found a young woman like himself. A girl born with her Stand.

Thus All-Kill’s family, the Daesang, was born.

***

1995. On the docks of San Francisco, with the Golden Gate Bridge in sight, Gangak makes his way discreetly, avoiding the streetlight. He could see his ride, a freighter about to embark on a voyage to the Far East. 

Gangak smiled confidently as he walked to the pier.. But in the shadows he spied a glint of light and a chill ran down his spine. The glint stepped towards, the light reflecting off a pair of thick glasses.

“What do you think you’re doing here, Gangak?” All-Kill demanded.

Gangak gulped, but he stood firm. “I’m leaving, Ganmyeol. That’s what.”

“Don’t say that as if you’re going on some trip…” the boss says, bitterness coating his voice. “You’re bringing your crew with you. Bringing old man Sanjo. You’re abandoning me.”

“That’s right…”

“Why? What has brought on this absolute betrayal?”

The taller man bristled and pointed aggressively at his best friend. “That kind of shit right there, for a start! Do you ever LISTEN to yourself?!”

All-Kill narrowed his eyes. “I’m just trying to understand… Why would you try to do this to me.”

“To you?! I’m not the one siding with the man who destroyed our neighborhood! A man who helped instigate the fucking riots!!”

“Is that what this is about?” the man in black sighed. “I told you… I’m biding my time. Of course I’m not on board with this deranged Paradise scheme, but if I fight with Dust now, I can’t guarantee that I’d win. Who’ll defend our people if I’m gone?”

“I-!” Gangak stammered, but All-Kill continued to speak over him.

“And as soon as I have the right opening, I’ll take care of him. You just have to be patient.”

Gangak stared at his friend, a lump building in his throat as his worst nightmares came true before him. “AND THEN WHAT?!!” he shouts. “Once that bastard’s dead, what are you going to do?!”

All-Kill kept calm. “Dust holds LA in the palm of his hand. Once he’s eliminated, there’ll be a scramble to fill the vacuum of power. A little discord is inevitable, but if we take control quick enough, we can keep it to a minimum. That’s why I need you-”

“No. No way! I don’t want this!” the bigger man shakes his head, “I didn’t want to control LA, I just wanted to protect my people!”

Finally losing his composure, All-Kill snapped. “THIS is how we protect our people! Unless we take a position of strength, they will ALWAYS be under threat!”

“The threat is YOU!!”

Gangak’s voice resounds. His best friend, closer to him than a brother, shudders at the sound. He stares through the thick lenses of his glasses, breathing deeply, as if he’s been struck across the face. “...What did you say?”

“T-The… The threat… is you…” Gangak repeats, his breathing also heavy, “You’re gathering all these people. Working for Dust and that woman in the mask… You took Park’s son for yourself! You picked up that creepy ass murderer girl! And you… You’re one of them now…! God, I’m one of them now… And maybe… Maybe you were always one of them, deep down…”

He raised his face, standing firm in his resolve. “It's too much. The fact I had to sneak out of my home, knowing you wouldn’t let me leave on my own… You’re no protector. You’ll drag everyone around you into your nightmare. That’s what makes you the threat.

All-Kill’s mouth hung open. Struggling to speak, he said “Gangak... come back with me… don't walk away from me…”

“No.”

“Gangak…”

“No.” The hazy figure of his Stand emerges from Gangak’s spirit. He gestures down. “I finally noticed, after all these years. When you bring out BLACK KEYS… You ball your hand into a fist…”

All-Kill looks down at his shaking fist, then back up at Gangak. His pleading expression morphed to pure rage and he propelled himself at his former best friend. “BLACK KEYS!!”

Gangak's Stand fully materialized next to him. “SLEEPYHEAD!!!”

The foggy Stand landed a punch right on All-Kill’s cheek. All-Kill groaned as the knuckle grinds against him, but he still moved to pierce the Stand’s arm. But he was too slow. He had to watch as SLEEPYHEAD moved its other arm in front of Gangak, somewhat merging with him. And with that, they both dematerialized into fog, disappearing on the wind. The boss of Koreatown is left to stare at the sky, the lights and smog of the city blotting out the stars.

He wasted no time looking for a replacement. No sooner did he return home did he pay a visit to a certain local troublemaker. The girl did not disappoint, earning her place by All-Kill’s side after her first mission. Not a tear was shed the day he learned of Gangak’s end.

This is how All-Kill’s life was. He built his branch of the Congregation like his fellow bosses did, but his people weren’t like them. They trusted each other, believed in each other. They were a family. A family with power, wealth and purpose.

Everything he could want, he had.

All except one thing.

[annwayne]

The Red Logs: Return to the Temple Ch. 20

Ch. 20: Ending Notes (Utility Post)

Masterlist

Chapter 1

Ao3 Link Here

Well holy fuck I actually finished something. Part one of a who knows how long this’ll be, but I finished it! This is the first long fic I’ve ever finished before so I’m extremely proud. :> Unfortunately, the end is kinda cliffhangery lol. Sorry-but the idea was too good to not do! The next work in the series, The Red Logs: Murder in a Bar will come out in weekly installments after I’ve fully written the story (hopefully). Due to the nature of the fic, that feels like the best choice. So it may be another year before TRL’s sees the second fic in the series. Until then, I hope you’ve enjoyed The Red Logs: Return to the Temple. There’s a lot more TRL’s story I want to tell, so don’t worry. It’s not the last you’ll see of Anya and the boys. Thank you for reading. Feel free to come into my ask box to scream (positively) about the fic.

Now I'd like to say thanks to a few people who either encouraged me, were beta readers, and/or helped iron out wrinkles in the story!

Thank you to my partner and best friend, @inconsistent-at-best aka the one and only, Perry the Platypus. You listened to me plot, rant, and read this fic a hundred times over and I'm so lucky to have a partner like you rooting me on in my silly little hobbies.

Thank you to my fellow smut connoisseur and resident master in all things force related, Peter! He doesn't have a tumblr but I'll be sure to show him this xD You helped me a ton with plotting things out by being a sound board. Also without your in depth knowledge about the force, this story would be lacking much luster.

Thank you @wolveria for encouraging me when I felt like interaction was too low and helped me realize the internet is a finicky place and that doesn't reflect the quality of my art.

Thank you @midnight-sun-01 my first fan and now dear friend. Your words of encouragement meant a great deal to me over this year of writing. I'd rather your in depth squeals of joy over thousands of kudos any day. May all your writing endeavors go as smoothly as Crosshair's sliding. (You know when he does his lil leggy thing-you know)

And finally, thank you reader for coming so far on this journey with me! I hope to see you in the following fics, as I have a lot more of Anya's story left to tell. Until then, may you find your blorbos in ao3 bliss.

(If you'd like to be tagged when the next series of the red logs comes out on tumblr, leave a comment below!)

Dividers by Djarrex

[gwaeddblaidd]

Feed the Wolf Chapter 6: Colours (Excerpt)

“Oh, I almost forgot to tell you,” he says almost excitedly, prompting me to turn back to face him. “A little birdie told me the Nightshades are meeting tonight.”

He stands from his chair and walks a few steps towards me. As he does he grows taller and just a little squarer at the shoulders, his arms and legs becoming longer and his clothes adjusting seemingly by themselves to conform to his new body type. His hair grows longer and his face becomes almost blurry, his features indistinct. He appears human, yes, but my eyes can’t seem to focus on his face. It only lasts a moment, though, before suddenly everything becomes clear once again. His face has changed. His cheekbones are a little higher, his brow more pronounced, his nose ever-so-slightly crooked and his jawline bearing the slightest hint of a stubble. I hate it when he does this.

“Want me to listen in for you?” he asks, sweeping his now longer fringe from his face and to the side. The red skin on his knuckles catches my eye, letting me know that he did indeed notice the state of my hands this past week, despite him not mentioning it.

I stare at the reflection of myself, feeling just as uncomfortable as ever seeing him in this state. Back when I first started at Nevermore, I wasn’t sure what to expect when I heard I’d be boarding with a shapeshifter, but I definitely didn’t anticipate a roommate that would learn to mimic my every feature within a day of meeting me. I try my best not to let my discomfort show. I’m not giving him that satisfaction.

“I didn’t get an invite,” I say, sounding almost offended. Of course, I haven’t been invited to any of their gatherings since halfway through second year, if I remember correctly. Still, they never officially kicked me out…

My father was a Nightshade during his time at Nevermore; there’s a picture of him and my aunt up on the wall of their library somewhere. He told me about the secret society when I was young, but I never really realised the importance of the information until he was gone. I retained certain important details – how to get into the library, the existence of a safe behind the portrait of Ignatius Itt – but things like ‘how to join’ evaded me. Still, getting in by myself and proving myself a legacy was enough to convince the Nightshades to allow me to pledge. Looking back, I can’t believe how careless I was in revealing who my father was; it’s a good thing no one there recognised him or my aunt as Hydes. It didn’t take long for me to become disappointed by the group, though. It was clear after just a few gatherings that the once prestigious society had fallen so very far, becoming little more than an elitist social club full of spoiled rich kids. I stopped attending their meetings upon that realisation.

“Do you ever?” Alex asks, bringing me back to the present. “If you did, I wouldn’t have to keep my ear to the ground about this stuff.”

“It’s not as great as it’s made out to be,” I say in return. The group may be secretive, but they honestly don’t offer all that much beyond overly-serious meetings about trivial matters and the occasional private party. 

“Speak for yourself!” Alex exclaims. “I for one have greatly enjoyed the gatherings I’ve attended.”

I hesitate before speaking, my mind taking a moment to understand the implication. “Alex… Please don’t tell me you’ve been going to more of them without asking me first.”

He stiffens slightly, his eyes widening just a little as he stifles a reaction. That’s a yes, then.

“At least tell me you weren’t too… out of character.” My mind runs through so many possibilities. “I don’t need more people angry at me for reasons I don’t understand.”

“Oh no! Nothing like that!” His reassurance does little to lessen my concern. “Some of them might just think you’re… Well, let’s just say that Nightshade you is a bit less depressed, y’know?”

“Oh, well that’s fine then,” I say sarcastically. “I’m a Hyde anyway, so why not add mood swings to my repertoire?”

“Come on, it’s not that bad. You never go anyway, and you’re not exactly friends with any of them.” He crosses his arms defensively, betraying his knowing that what he did was wrong. “I needed stories, alright? How else is my blog meant to compete with Enid’s?”

It’s always about the blog… I guess that could probably be one of the reasons I stopped getting invites. I mean, me not showing up is reason enough to stop asking me to come, but it’s public knowledge that Alex and I are roommates. If someone was leaking information from Nightshade meetings, I’d obviously be the most likely suspect.

I sigh wearily. “Well, to answer your question: no, I don’t want you to listen in on the meeting.”

In the blink of an eye, his disguise fades and he becomes himself again. He doesn’t hide his disappointment. “Fine.”

“I might go myself, though. Tell me, when is the meeting?”

He looks shocked at that, his disappointment quickly giving way to something close to fear. “Nine o’clock,” he blurts out. “But if you’re really going to go, perhaps we should discuss your persona.”

“My persona?” I don’t like where this is going.

“Yeah, there’s a few things you should be aware of. Gotta keep consistent, right?”

I find myself pinching the bridge of my nose, the beginnings of a headache creeping up on me. It’s bad enough that Alex has been impersonating me without my consent, but for him to be doing so badly? I shouldn’t have to alter my behaviour to make up for his mistakes. Why do I even want to go to the meeting? Honestly, I’m not sure. Maybe my newfound positive outlook has me more willing to engage with others, or maybe seeing so many others preparing for evening activities has me searching for a distraction of my own. Or, maybe the relatively impromptu nature of this meeting has me intrigued. Most Nightshade meetings follow a regular schedule – once every fortnight on the weekend – but this doesn’t fit that schedule. It’s probably nothing of note, but I’d regret missing out if I’m wrong.

I breathe out slowly and steadily, recentering myself in preparation for what I’m sure is about to be a painful briefing. I look at Alex for a moment then drop my gaze, shaking my head along with a slight chuckle. No use in being annoyed, if I have a choice in the matter. I raise my head to offer him my full attention along with a tired, conceding smile.

“Fine. What do I need to know?”

---

Title: Feed the Wolf

Fandom: Wednesday

Rating: T

Chapters: 7 of 12

Links: AO3, FF.net

Summary: As the dust settles on the Hyde incident, Nevermore is slowly but surely returning to a calmer, safer state. But for those involved, the scars may take a while longer to fully heal. Gelert Davies, a half-werewolf student, has always kept himself out of trouble as best he could, but a chance encounter will test his resolve and force him to face parts of himself long abandoned.

Tags: Enid Sinclair, Wednesday Addams, Original Character(s), Enid Sinclair/Original Male Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Wolf Instincts, Loss of Control, Injury Recovery, Self-Hatred, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Courting Rituals, Werewolf Courting, Werewolf Culture, Eventual Romance, Family Issues, POV First Person

Thank you for reading, and have a wonderful day! :)

[black-kitties]

Chapter 3

Start reading from Chapter 1

Jaz’s trip downtown was hindered by frequent dizzy spells that were plaguing her. She found she kept having to sit or rest herself against a pole to catch her bearings again. Throughout their trip Hero stayed glued to her side and kept moving as if to catch her every time she stumbled. He was a strange dog, especially the way he listened. Jaz was no stranger to talking to animals, though normally they’d just sort of, perk an ear your way at best and only really react to a change in your tone. Other times they’d simply ignore you unless you started baby talking them. Hero though, Hero made eye contact. He paid attention. It was strange.

 “I’m thinking of going to the library. See if theres any missing dog posters online, but also, gotta charge my phone finally.” She explained too him while leaning against a pole. “Also, we gotta see about getting some money. I’m down to one pair of clothes and no cans of food… That pizza will only last us a day or two tops, especially if I have to feed you too.” Hero whimpered as if to say sorry, “Hey, do you know any tricks though? We could put on a show, do a little busk in front of the library for some cash maybe.” He barked. Downtown Metro City was a beautiful place. The streets were immaculate, and everyone rushed about in suits and business casual attire. Even the ground underneath the trees was free of fallen leaf litter. A large, cathedral-like building mixed with modern architecture was the library Lex Luther had bestowed upon the city. Out front of it stood an odd-looking art piece, a polished giant bean that reflected the skyline and passersby in a warped mirror like finish. The entrance was behind three levels of stairs that spanned the entire front of the building, and large white pillars held up the parapet above. The entrance was two overly large double doors of solid thick glass and metal bars spanning their length, propped open. They looked like they could be really heavy, and Jaz wondered just how hard it was to open and close the library.

Inside, no one seemed to notice that Hero was following Jaz. She couldn’t convince him to wait outside and eventually gave up, trying to evade attention as she entered the elevator to floor two where most of the computers were. Each computer sat in its own little cubby space that reminded her of the study spaces she was used to back in university. The small desk had an outlet that she happily plugged her phone into before launching the computer and logging into her own profile. She was a frequent visitor of the previous library until it finally had shuttered its doors last month in preparation for its official move into this building. “You know, Hero. As much as Lex Luther’s likely up to something with the donation of this library… It is really nice; I’ve got to admit. Sucks that people like me have to rely on the charity of people like him, eh?” She shot Hero a smile before loading up the browser and beginning her search.

 This world, like hers, had the same sort of social media sites she was used to, and she quickly found community boards for the city and for pet owners. She sorted through hundreds of posts of missing pets, enough that she’d begun coming across posts commenting on the increased volume of missing pet reports over the last week. “Weird. If you look at the time stamps on all these it went from a couple a day at best, but now its in the double digits a day.” Jaz looked at Hero. “I mean, you’re not alone in being a lost pet, I guess… I hope all those dogs are ok though.” Her instincts were telling her it had something to do with dinosaurs… “This world is so weird.” She muttered under her breath.

 After scouring sites for an hour while Hero watched over her shoulder, she finally sat back and sighed, running her fingers through her greasy hair. “Nothing about you. It’s like no one is looking for you… At least, no family is.” Jaz glanced back at Hero who simply stared right back. “I wonder if you’re chipped…” She pressed the power button on her phone and searched up the nearest vet office while she waited. Her phone began chiming the moment it connected to wifi, thirty missed messages from Clara and Teresse.

 ‘What’s up?’

‘How are you? You ok?’

‘Is your phone off?’

‘Yo, space to Jaz, message me when you get this, im worried about you’

‘Jaz its been like a whole day. You promised that you’d keep in touch every day. If you don’t reply back soon im going to tell them that you’re on the planet and have someone look for you.’

‘I’m worried’

 It went on for a bit like that. She quickly thumbed back a reply.

 ‘Yo. I’m good guys. Phone died and I didn’t get to a charge for it for a bit. My bad.’ Behind her Hero made a noise.

 “I’m not gonna tell them I was just in the hospital. Look, they already threatened to tell on me, you think they’d just let me have my fun if they knew I’m hurt?” The noise Hero made sounded chiding. “Good thing you don’t have thumbs, eh? It’s fine. I’m fine, no harm done in the end.” She shrugged. Why was she arguing with a dog again?

 Her phone dinged again.

 ‘If you ever dip for three days, three WHOLE days again, I’m going to tell Batman that you’re down there.’ Jaz stared at the message for a moment longer. She almost put the phone in her pocket without responding but thought better of it.

 ‘I get it. I’m sorry. New library its pretty sick anyways so I shouldn’t have problems with my battery anymore. Tell Izzy I say hi!’

 She logged out of the computer and tried to make her way to the exit, but Hero kept blocking her and giving her a head tilted glance as if he had a question. “What?… What? What do you want?” Frustrated, she brushed past into the elevator. “I don’t know what it is you want. You’re acting weird. Anyways, we’re going to the vet now, I’m gonna see if they can find a chip in your neck or something. Finally get you home. How does that sound.” He looked annoyed. If a dog could even look annoyed.

 The closest vet clinic was only a few blocks away from the new library, set on the second floor of one of the new skyrise towers recently built downtown. She had to follow the signs to find the office inside. The floors were white marble with well maintained indoor plants accenting the lobby and halls. Jaz paused a moment before entering the actual vet office, a sinking feeling filling her gut. The unimpressed look she was afforded by the receptionist seemed to confirm her fears. “Hey. Names Jaz, what’s yours?” She smiled and tried to schmooze the receptionist using the best retail sales tone she could muster.

 “Are you a current member of our practice? We’re not accepting new clients at this time.” The lady had a cold ‘friendly’ tone she’d obviously perfected after years and immediately went back to typing whatever it was she was working on.

 “Well, I was actually wondering if you could check the chip on my buddy here. I found him and judging from his coat and breed, I think he might be owned by one of your own lovely clients.” Jaz gave no indication that she’d noticed the lady’s dismissiveness, or the flash of annoyance that crossed her face the moment Jaz hadn’t immediately left.

 The receptionist clicked her tongue but at least stood up to peer at Hero. She moved to immediately sit down after only a second, before her eyes shot back open and she took another closer look at Hero. She even side stepped around the counter. “Well. If that is the case, you can leave him here. We’ll see too it that he finds his way home.” The lady moved to grab Hero by the collar and a flicker of frustration crossed her face as she realized he didn’t have one.

 “Leave him here? Gosh no,” Jaz cut off the receptionist before she could insist, “I have a vested interest in making sure I personally see Hero returned to his family, so if you don’t mind, he’ll be staying with me.” Something about this lady, the way she seemed to be trying to hide her sudden interest in Hero felt off to Jaz.

 “What, so you can ask for some sort of reward?” Seems she’s going full mask off, Jaz thought.

 “Yep.” She shrugged. She felt no need to try to explain her actual intentions to this Karen. Especially to someone who had already decided not to respect her. “So, I’d appreciate if you’d check the chip now.”

 “It would break our code of ethics to let someone extort money out of our clients. Who’s to say you didn’t steal the dog yourself?” She tried to step in between Hero and Jaz but he swiftly sidestepped her, keeping close to Jaz’s side.

 “If I’d stolen him myself, I wouldn’t be asking you for help finding their home again now, would I?” Anger was boiling in Jaz’s chest now.

 “I wouldn’t know how criminals work. Leave the dog now, or I’ll call security and have you forcibly removed.” The way the woman spoke with such a toxically sweet tone made Jaz grind her teeth.

 At this point she couldn’t contain the glare she levelled at the woman. Her hands balled into fists and her heart was beating hard. It felt like her body was wound tight and ready to fight. She hated the feeling conflict had over her body, “Right.” Her words were clipped, “Then we shall leave.” She turned towards the door calling to Hero to follow. A sharp bark warned Jaz a moment before the lady grabbed her arm with a bruising grip. The receptionist started yelling for security while pulling Jaz away from the door. Try as she might, Jaz was no match for the strength of a regular human in this world. The tension in her body coiled and she found her free hand balled and flying through the air. Before it connected, though, Hero snapped his jaws feigning a bite near the lady’s arm. She reflexively released Jaz who stumbled and slammed herself through the door, Hero close at her heels.

 Security only caught up to them as they crossed the lobby of the building and by then Jaz had regained her balance. She easily dodged the front desk security guards attempt to detain her, slamming her hands into the glass front doors and reeling down the block with Hero at her side. Pedestrians clutching their purses and pockets side stepped out of Jaz’s way. The guards kept up the chase, leaving Jaz with no choice but to rush out into oncoming traffic, snaking her way through at breakneck speed. After a couple blocks she cut through one alley, and down another till she realized she’d lost them.

 Jaz doubled over panting. Hero sniffed the quickly blackening bruise on Jaz’s wrist. “Don’t worry about it,” she gasped. She could feel her heartbeat pounding in her ears and temples, like her whole head was an overinflated balloon that kept expanding and contracting with each beat. “The whole, from another world thing.” She stood straight again, pulling her sleeve down to cover the bruise, “Means I’m physically weaker than even a normal human here.” As if to punctuate that fact, a wave of dizziness caused her to stumble and lean on a wall for balance. Her face felt numb, and her knees were weak. “And I really don’t think I should be running with a head injury again.” She joked, sliding against the wall to sit on the cold cement.

 Hero nudged her good arm and cuddled against her side lending her warmth while she rested. Jaz found herself rambling, “That lady gave me weird vibes. The way she looked at you, its like she recognized you or something. I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining things. I got a head injury after all…” She peeked at Hero who seemed to be listening attentively, “I’m also talking to a dog. I swear I don’t talk this much… Well, that’s a lie, I talk a lot. But not to dogs… Ok that’s another lie.” She sighed running her fingers through her hair. The tender spot at the back of her head caused her to wince when she touched it.

 Thirty minutes later the pounding in her head subsided to a dull throbbing and the bright sunlight no longer stung her eyes. She fished out the phone from her pocket and opened the map she’d downloaded while at the library. It still had all the vets nearby loaded. Scrolling through the options in the map, she noticed one in the ‘shittier’ part of town several miles away. Other transients had warned her not to stay there overnight, in fact to avoid the place all together given that she was a woman, but the vet there might be more forgiving of a vagrant asking for help to return a lost dog to its owner. At the very least, perhaps they’d be more welcoming? After plotting a course that would take them past several more clinics she carefully stood. Her balance seemed to be back, so she removed her hand from the wall.

 They zig zagged across the city though after the third vet on their way Jaz was feeling uncomfortable. Each one they’d passed was closed with obvious signs of a break in. One was covered in police tape with boards over the entrance, another with a broken front window. The final was closed with a sign saying they would remain closed until the recent crime spree subsided. “The hell is happening in this world anyways?” Jaz turned to Hero who looked just as confused as her. “You think its related to that attack we experienced at the pound?” She blinked in surprise, before deciding she imagined the dog nodding at her. “Well, anyways. Last stop.” She headed off in the direction of Southside. Or as the locals had called it: Suicide Slums.

Chapter 4