#it wasnt like this when we were kids! this isnt normal!

[isa-ah]

dont yall ever get tired??????

[calamarieater]

Daves ENTIRE PERSONALITY revolved around being just like Bro he never had the time to develop his own personality because from day ONE he wanted to be JUST like Bro he thought Bro was so cool to the point where he even ignored the abuse and just considered it normal, it's so common in abusive households for the abused kids to want to be JUST like their abusers because they've never seen like a normal household, and like most kids you tend to look up to your parents, which is what Dave was doing. Daves entire personality all his interests like everything were branched off from what Bro liked, he never got into things that Bro DIDNT like the only thing he didn't like was Bros puppets but dave wanted to be JUST like Bro he looked UP to him and people seem to completely ignore Bros abuse because of how dave reacted to it but ? what Bro does is still abuse and often when kids are introduced to abuse early in life they dont know that its abuse and they consider it normal which is why Dave reacted the way he did because he WASNT AWARE THAT IT WAS ABUSE WHICH IS NORMAL IN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLDS AND ABUSED KIDS OFTEN THINK LIKE THAT which is why it comes off as such a SHOCK when you tell a kid they're being abused and whats going on isn’t normal and it seems like most of the fandom just ignores Daves abuse and everything and the fact that he never really developed his own personality until later on just because of the fact that he never really reacted or talked about it which annoys me SO badly I get its like hard to understand what abused kids are like and their bebehavior and stuff but!! you gotta understand like all his interests and everything came from Bro, his entire life until Sburb he wanted to be just like Bro he looked up to Bro so much to the point the abuse wasn't even something he considered abnormal because he thought Bro was just trying to help him be stronger and have a better reaction time or whatever but that's not what was going on and dave didn't know because he hadn't ever seen a normal household/this was his entire life this is what was normal to him so he considered it normal even compared to his friends lives, especially considering all the kids have semi abnormal lives other than john for the most part so dave was just convinced his life was normal because it was what he was used to and his friends also had odd home lives so he was just convinced that his life was the same gah I love Dave. I just think people should TRY and understand Dave’s character more, and it also just irks me how people see him as some flirty dude when thats not how he is, hes a wannabe cool-kid who has no idea how to behave and just mimics his Bros behavior!!! He WANTS TO BE JUST LIKE HIS BRO!!! HE SPENDS SO MUCH TIME TALKING ABOUT HOW COOL HE THINKS HIS BRO IS and you guys i swear he would NOT be a flirty little shit. He lives for bickering so he can come up with cool comebacks so people think “Wow this guy is REALLY fucking cool” when they're talking to him. So many of you guys seem to forget hes 13 in the beginning, his behavior is just a direct copy of how he saw Bro. He did not develop his own personality until later in life, and even then he still had a lot of Bros traits. Most kids dealing with abuse dont even know that its abuse until way late in life, because again, ITS ALL THEY KNOW!! If you lived your entire life not knowing what you were going through was abnormal, or even unhealthy, you would consider it as “the usual” WHICH IS WHY DAVE NEVER HAD A BIG REACTION TO IT, BECAUSE HE WAS SO USED TO IT. HE DIDNT KNOW IT WASNT NORMAL. Dave was a 13 year old boy dealing with an abusive father figure. From his interests to his personality, he just wanted to be like bro. that's all he wanted.

But, towards the end of his arc, we DO see him start to turn away from that desire to be like bro. We see him slowly realize, he isnt like bro. He doesnt want to be like bro. He isn't a "hero" like bro was, he doesnt WANT to be like bro was. But his entire childhood circled around being like bro, and it wasnt until bro died that he finally realized that wasn't what he wanted. But, as it wasn't until late in his life that he realized, he wasnt really able to form his own personality.

In conclusion: Dave is NOT some coolkid flirty boy, hes an abused child with no personality of his own. He is so much more than most of you guys let him be, and its so irritating to me.

[cherllyio]

A timeline of the Season 5 trailer

Are you ready? LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This was a timeline i made with @lu-zijing in a youtube video we made together.

Video that helped me notice some details: "Lego monkie kid season 5 trailer breakdown" - Ash_Is_Bored

First scene:

I theorise this to be the first scene for 2 reasons:

Wukong isn't wearing a circlet yet

The Sky isnt destroyed yet, and it just looks like normal training between Wukong and MK.

But, after they finish training, MK goes to bed but wakes up somewhere... different:

The mystical monkeys got dragged to court in The Underworld, by The Underworld Kings, clearly by surprise since MK is in his PJ's. Also Wukong is still not wearing a circlet.

They are: "Do you three know of the crimes you have done", so its clearly the first time they are down there.

I imagine they are bassicaly told: "Everything is going wrong because of you three, so stop interfering with this, we will fix it".

This then followed by them getting sent back and being welcomend back to flower fruit mounatin... or what remains of it...

(notice the volcanos around flower fruit mountain from the pilot ep):

Wukong and Macaque are clearly pretty chocked and scared by this revalation, and even give eachother THAT LOOK.

Ep 1 ends here.

After this they probaly gather all the monkeys from the island, and try to find a shelter for the time being.

And after everything is secure, they send MK home with a little: "We will figure this out, Bud, go check on your friends, they are probaly worried sick for where you have been."

What happens after MK gets home, i have no idea, but we do have a couple of scenes that look to be the closest to what happens afterwards:

Pigsy has put up a noddle stand here, to celebrate some kind of "festival". Yet it is then intereupted by the sky suddenly breaking again.

And if that wasnt enough, Li Jing (and Nezha in his mech) shows up, (probaly thinking that the skyes are breaking because of MK, Wukong and Macaque, hence why they were in court earlier)

Li jing sucks MK in his magical pagado (notice how MK is the only one dragged forward)(As mentioned in that breakdown i linked to)

Li Jing(to MK); Don't even think about running!

We are then up in The Underworld again, where Li Jing is formely introduced and the monkeys are told that he is gonna be the next Jade Emperor:

This is also here we learn about the "Pillar of Creation", which is the thing currently on beaming on Flower Fruit Mountain, and is also currently breaking apart (therefore why the sky is breaking)

MK: Sorry what the is "The Pillar of Creation"?

This is also the same scene, where Wukong gets a new circlet on by Li Jing (because Li Jing and The Kings of the underworld think our mystical monkeys are the cause of the sky breaking)

This then followed by the monkeys getting teleported away(to what im guessing is going to be some kind of prison, since they probaly dont trust them out in the world).

The scenes become a bit more scattered after this, and probaly take place further from eachother from now on, but MK, Wukong and Macaque are clearly breaking out prison here:

They then join with the rest of the gang, and try to figure out how to prove that the mystical monkeys are innocent, while also trying to find out how to save the world.

In one of these scenes they stumble upon Li Jing, where Macaque stays behiend to give the others some time (but sadly gets trapped in the pagado in the process)

This was mentioned in the breakdown with the glow, Macaque has on him in this scene, which is the same that shows when Li Jing uses his Pagado:

Hence why Macaque isnt in the following scenes after this.

I can imagine Macaque gets trapped in The Underworld after this again (which would cause defintly some BAD MEMORIES to come back) (Shadowpeach backstoryyyyy????)

This though would also give us someone "on the inside", who can figure out why they are getting blamed for all of this (maybe he even meets the traitor king)

Anyway, back to the rest of the gang.

On their way, they found out about "four mystical creatures" that can save the world.

But as they go too seek them, where they atleast found two of them, they are dying as they are trying to protect two magical stones.

Therefore, right before they die, they give the stones to MK (notice how they are the same place, in both scenes)

Mei: It seems to have something to do with the stone.

They are though quickly interupted by our dear Li jing(who is honestly such an asshole at this point)

Hopefully, they manage to get away with the stones.

There is a lot of other scenes i could talk about(but since Tumblr wont let me put in any more pictures) i am just going to talk about the last scenes in the season (before the special atleast):

Wukong: Ok MK, there is something inside you that you cant control.

They have clearly gathered all the stones here (so its clearly near the end) , but something has gone wrong, and from what i could figure from others theories( @lunamikobrony2 ) its probaly that something happend to Wukong.

More specifically that (like the other magical creatures) he had to sacrifce himself, since Wukong is the LAST STONE. (again go check out @lunamikobrony2 theory)

So bassicaly this is going to be MK's "Apeshit scene". (and i dont know if that is going to be a good or a bad thing)

_____

And thats all from me folks! If you want me to analysis more scenes from the trailer and where they fit in the timeline just ask me in my inbox.

!Or! if you have any changes you would like to make to the timeline, be free to say so! I am open to changing my mind about this!

Translations used: 1 (here) - 2 (here)

[splatattackz]

and, springing off of my last post, heres a greater post talking about ramon and his relation with lying and secret-keeping - because, in my opinion, its a topic that needs to be known to better understand his character as secrets are a big part of his family.

ill place the talk under the cut so this post doesnt take too much space :)

"just [to] let u know, i trust u even in the dark"

ramon trusts fit. a ton. and theres nothing that could ever change that. he trusts what is kept secret is best kept this way. its why he wasnt as persistent to know about the contract, even if he knew there was lies and secrets at play that he hated. he trusted him. and that trust only grew when fit trusted him enough back to tell him a little bit of the family secret (the contract).

but, despite this trust, ramon also loves fit all too much. its why he gets so defensive when fit tells lies to him. ramon is a very observant boy. he knows a lot of things he shouldnt because of this. as fit once said, "the kids too damn smart for his own good". no lie leaves his detection because he can always tell the way people shift and change when theyre fibbing. but he doesnt push or prod on the matter usually. unless its fit. because he loves him too much. he needs to know whats going on with him. if he doesnt know, how can he help and protect him? its a reason he hates it when fit mutes, too. he always feels like fits keeping a secret from him when it happens.

i remember one time they were working on ground zero (i think it was the last time they worked on ground zero) and fit was fretting over his contract and ramon made a joke about how he acted like he would die if he didnt fullfill the contract. and fit laughed and said "no, ramon, i wont die." and then muted and said smth like "itll be much worse than death". and ramon noticed fit muted and got very upset. he basically threw a tantrum over it and wouldnt talk to fit until he told him what he was keeping secret. ramon said he was upset because the topic at hand (fit dying) and the fact he muted didn't spell anything good.

"if u tell me i [either] [lose] everything or u, i would choose [to keep] u"

something ramon said to show how much he cared for fit and how that care is why he was so upset. eventually fit did tell him and even told him more about what it meant if he didnt fullfill the contract - that if he failed, he would be trapped in the wastelands forever with no escape. and that this contract was his only chance at a semi-normal life.

but otherwise, ramons relation to lies and secret-keeping isnt negative. he has told lies and has kept secrets himself. hes no stranger to it. and he even keeps fit in check about the contract when he wants to tell other people things. i remember when fit found tazercraft in the prison he wanted to tell phil but ramon stopped him and told him some things are best kept secret. and, while this was mainly a very hrp response bc the admin wanted to let the duo solve the puzzles, he made a good point of if he trusts phil enough with this maybe he should tell him about the contract too. to which fit said "no, hes not ready to know about it yet". and, again, when ramon first built the satellite for the second attempt at contact, fit wanted to tell phil where he would be in case anything happened. and, again, ramon stopped him and reminded him if he wanted to do that then he'd have to tell phil everything. and the convo ended there.

(its no coincidence that fit told phil about the secret bedroom with ramon not around :] the baby boy cant keep him in check with that stuff now..)

ill stop the post here before we are here for hours but. i needed to talk about one of ramons most interesting aspects ajaja i hope you enjoyed the little ramble

[aspd-culture]

hey, so i recently did some research and took the mmpi and a few other tests that i knew were well regarded as diagnostic tools by professionals, as well as self reflection and matching myself with criteria. (all tests found free probably illegally online via links on reddit cause i dont got that kind of money) and it appears that i have aspd.

I consider myself a good person, i try to always be good to everyone which is a lot of effort because it’s something i dont do naturally, and imo that makes me better than a “normal person” but i digress

finding this out, while relieving in the way that it explained a lot of stuff, has also made me feel more alienated. i cant tell anyone im close to because theyll just hear “sociopath” and think i dont care about them or ive been manipulating them this whole and leave, and i wont be able to find new people because im bad at connecting with others so ill be alone. and no one online with aspd seems to have my experiences (also a lot of the online spaces are filled with pwBPD and pwNPD using our tag lmao and i dont relate to them either obviously) so i feel alien here too.

I dunno, finding this out was helpful in some ways but in others i just feel worse.

I guess it’s a net good now that i know that my way of thinking and going through life doesnt make me a bad or manipulative person its just how i naturally think bc of my disorder, and as long as im choosing to be good to people it shouldn’t matter. i just wish it wasnt so stigmatized to have, and i wish people would realize that i am capable of being a good person just as much as they are, i just have my own way of doing it.

I actually dont get why having it Come Naturally is such a good thing anyway, isnt it more meaningful if someone isnt “good by nature” but actively chooses to be anyway? I think it means less and is less reliable if someone is good by nature because then it means that they don’t actually know how or why theyre doing it, and if they have a moment of fluctuations in their empathy then they could be worse than any of us disordered folk who had to learn they why and how of this stuff.

lmfao ok uh sorry for having a character arc in your ask box you can delete if you want idc

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

Plain text below the cut:

No, no worries! I'm sorry it took me this long to get to honestly because yeah I agree with this - it is in my opinion objectively better to do good things by choice, even when it's hard for us. And, in fact, the NTs feel that way too but they don't like that it applies to us.

It's a whole cliche people like to throw around, that it isn't easy to be a good person and that the only truly good people are the ones that doing it when it's hard too - that the easiest thing isn't always the right thing, all of that. They just don't like that those things apply to us too and therefore we are very much their definition of good people.

The world has so much stigma against us, and I'm sorry you're struggling with it, that any and all of you are. We shouldn't be treated this way as a result of us being mistreated as kids. It's not our fault, but we're labeled and demonized anyway. And it sucks, and even though it says everything about them and nothing about us, people believe them bc they're so used to thinking we're the scary ones so we must be wrong.

That seems to be slowly changing, and I hope I (and you) are around to see when it does.

[thecluelessdoctor]

hi

so recently

i was watching a bunch of videos on blogthegreatrouge

and remembered my once love for PJs Daycare. but now i know its disgusting like.. so bad. so is she. i just. ugh.

so, im going to remake it. i mean remake that shit i will do my best to make it better. starting with removing all the fankids characters and ships because.. sanscest is w e i r d.

anyway, for the people who some how dont know what im talking about is heres a summery. if i spelled that wrong shut up no i didnt

Tw: SA, suicidal thoughts I suppose, gr00ming basically

pjs daycare was a AU for undertale made by blogthegreatrouge. the au, was as it says, a daycare. basically all the sans aus were children, from like 3-6 i think, and the characters were... sanscest ship characters or sans fusions. one of the caretakers, and our- basic mc, is Paperjam, or PJ, the fusion between ink sans and error sans. i say fusion because i think that what they were originally intended to be before the fandom... yoinked them. aslo i refuse to ship sans aus together because thats WEIRD AS ALL SHIT. anyway. those are the basics, shipkids/fusion sanses are the caretakers and the sanses are children. interesting concept ig (i will make it better trust)

ok now that we have the basics down, lets get to the story. this was a ask blog so there wasnt much story, but from what i do remember, there were 2 major plot lines. the first plot line was uhm. borderline gr00ming. basically fresh sans, the satire sans au, has a crush on PJ. this fresh is i think about 3 yrs old. so ok, hes a kid, kids are weird. he claims he wants to marry pj. again, child, children say that stuff alot. and you think pj would be yk, normal and be like " no no, we cant do that" nicely and shit. WELL HE DOESNT. THIS BITCH SAYS "we cant get married righ now, but when your all grown up we can ^^" IM SORRY HUH. SIR. WHAT. not only that, later, there is a ask of how would pj react to adult fresh. in which its super weird with really gross sexual tension. not only that, lets follow in this aus rule, aus made by the same creator/s are gonna be related. ok. error, fresh and geno/aftertale are brothers. kinda weird but lets keep going here. pj in rouges interpretation is a ship child. A SHIP CHILD. MEANING FRESHIE HERE IS IS UNCLE?? ITS SO WEIRD?? also there is a mini plot line where ink and error like each other and its a big deal even tho, again, CHILDREN. also same person but i digress.

our next plotline is... where shit hits the fan. so, error, gets deathly sick and needs to go to the hospital. didnt know monsters had hospitals but ok. geno, error's older brother who is at most, 5, gets really depressed. and ik depression can come at any age, however, GENO here tries to commit farewell. this. doesn't. make. sense. a child isnt old enough to even comprehend death that well, let alone have the feeling to die AND ACT ON IT. not only that, right after stopping geno from leaving this mortal plane (isnt he immortal though?) they completely forget about it and have this weird romance between palette and goth (swap sans and dream sans) (geno and reaper) and its super weird, and gross (not as gross as nerd and jock but still) and palette is weirdly obsessive over goth and shit so its all just a huge pile of SHIT

oh yeah there is also this weird plot line with like this trio of mini villains, one being rouges self insert i think so. yeah.

anyway, that was pj's daycare. i will be reworking and remaking the entirety of this au. so uh.

yeah.

it will be posted. anyway bye

[fubuwu]

Fuck it. Since I'm being spat on and tarnished by jc antis I'm unashamedly doing call out posts as they have harassed me on all my posts and got their little friends to gang up on me. Starting with this "lovely" person

Calling me an abuse apologist just because I said that madame yu had tough love methods..... I was in no way excusing her abuse towards wwx with that FYI. Wwx wasnt even mentioned in the og post.... Never once denied she was abusive in the post either (in fact i ackowledged her abuse numerous times in the post and how her children act around her. But apparently you willfully missed that part). I said she had tough love methods towards her children. NOT WWX. Wwx was not her child or have you forgotten that? She has a tough love attitude in the sense that she toughens up her kids, expects no nonsense, wants them to strive to do better, get on with it, stiff upper lip attitude etc. This does not mean it's a good parenting tactic.

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Using tough love to describe her parenting technique isn't a compliment. Apparently some of you don't know what it means because tough love, whilst there is love and good intentions behind the actions, it can also have unintended bad consequences on your children and is not a form of love you should expose your child to if you want them to become normal, emotionally stable people.

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It can lead to unhealthy coping mechanisms and suppressing emotions amongst other things I won't go into. I was in no way complimenting her. It was a critique. That should have been obvious. But in your words, ig some of you don't have reading comprehension.

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To accuse me of something so extreme as excusing abuse over a FICTIONAL CHARACTER and trying to get all your friends to agree and jump on my posts because I never explicitly made the above points obvious is what a bully would do. You know nothing about me and decided to make such allegations over a single post. I will not stand for this bullying.

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YOU should be ashamed of your behavior. I've seen your other posts and how you talk about and to REAL PEOPLE.

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You acting all morally superior whilst attacking me and many others like this makes you an abusive person FYI. And I won't sit there and take it from you or your friends.

---

Moving on to specimen number two

This person has been spamming my notifications jumping on EVERY post, being disrespectful and pretty much accusing me, an ace person, for being ignorant about MY OWN IDENTITY and using ace stereotypes just because I surmised that jc could be ace due to his lack of interest in romance.

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Echoing the words used by another user in the thread, but denying that such ace persons exist is acephobic in itself. I'm an ace person who isnt interested in relationships outside anything that is close, platonic but meaningful. Many others in the jc fandom say the same thing which is why they see themselves in him. A large portion of the jc fandom are actually ace in fact and we love to see him used in ace rep posts. We're already made to feel like freaks, so to have that thrown in my face is very hurtful. Above all twisting my words and making out I said every ace person hates romance is very disingenuous. I NEVER once said that in the post. I wont have my character attacked and lied about like that.

---

Also, once again TWISTING my words, implying I was pissed off about the incel claims when it was so obvious that I was merely asking out of curiosity where these claims come from?? Because it was never implied in the canon text. There was no anger or malice behind my questions. It was all open discussion. I can see now that this was mental gymnastics at play here to justify your hcs that you know are not canon and use it as an excuse to attack my posts with your friends, all because you were proven wrong. You lashed out on what was an otherwise polite discussion. That behavior is all entirely on you.

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Ive only ever been respectful in my posts and they were never done to provoke arguments or hate on others opinions. So to wake up and be accused of all sorts over a fictional character is very hurtful and just shows how terribly low your side of the fandom has to stoop just to prove a point and hate on jc.

---

Im not tolerating it and these blatant LIES any longer. I hope other jc antis read these posts and see how nasty you all are. And if anyone thinks this sort of treatment is okay, then you need to look inwardly and step away from the computer. I'm done here.

[minthara]

really long personal answer to an anon i got. trigger warnings in the tags.

First of all i wanna apologise to everyone who follows me for the last few days lmao, but i feel like if i dont post about it im literally gonna kill myself. I need somewhere to write down my thoughts because i feel bad always going to the same 2 friends i still have and complain about the same situation again and again about a dude they dont even know that well.

Thank you so much for ur message really, and sorry if im gonna take it as another excuse to write down all my thoughts, but i think it will really help me.

So the pathetic thing. I didnt ever post about this and in real life i think only like. 3 people knew. But after we broke up i begged him for months to take me back. It really was pathetic. And when he called me pathetic i think he was just very very hurt, because that was the second time i broke up with him (just a few weeks ago). It was in the sense of me begging him for so long just to break up again a few months later. I feel fucking stupid even writing this. I spent about 10k euros trying to get away from him, it fucked up my life so massively that i lost a job i really loved over it.

And now my new job is about 5 minutes away from our old apartment and i think thats a huge reason why i cant get over it. Every day i walk past restaurants, the supermarkets, anything we went to together. I had to buy snacks for work today and just burst into tears in the fucking supermarket because we used to go there together. The people at work are always so appreciative bc i know the area so well but they dont know how much it fucking hurts me and its so stupid like. Should i just avoid that part of town forever??? No fucking get over it bitch like wtf its a fucking supermarket.

And it also hurts because i know i wasnt always perfect and there were many times i was super mean to him. But at a point i couldnt deal with his ADHD anymore and that sounds so shitty but im a super organised person to the point where sometimes i wonder if thers anything ocd related but i dont think so. In my head i swap between i have ocd, i have adhd, i have borderline, i have autism  - i have no idea whats wrong with me, but the way i feel cant be normal. I know this because the way i behave isnt normal, i know i can come across as really strange, i cant judge social situations well and often dont know how to behave. But i constantly criticised him for symptoms of his mental illnesss.

But i never physically hurt him, and that was the last straw for me, why i left. I dont know how u can do that to a person you love.

And im just mourning the life i thought i was going to have so, so, so much. I know on tumblr ppl somehow think youre brainwashed when you want a traditional marriage and kids and stuff, but i really thought that was going to happen in the next 2 / 3 years, thats how i planned my life since i was fucking 21 and i met him. And now im almost 27, and i cant even go on dates because i cannot bear talking to new people because all i want is a clone of him but better.

I know i will look back at this and think “u cried about THAT guy???” in a few years, because thats how its always been in my life lol (except for one relationship, but were still really really best friends). I always think afterwards i will never love someone that much again. But it hits so much harder because it was such a serious relationship lol i really wanted to marry him. Sobs lol.

[traumatizeddfox]

hey! i just found ur blog and i was wondering if i could ask u some questions?

tw abuse? maybe?

recently my friends have been trying to tell me that my family(mostly my older brother) had been abusive to me based on some of the stories ive told them about how my bro used to hit me and stuff. in my head what happened was completely normal and i even joked about it. i was always told that it wasnt a big deal and that older brothers are just like that or that it was my fault for "poking the bear" and that he did it because he didnt know how to show that he loved me. i never really thought about it as weird until my friends started saying it wasn't normal? i been thinking about it and i know that siblings can be mean to each other but i feel like it crossed a line when i stopped fighting back hoping he would get bored if i never gave him a reaction. ive felt so upset with my family for a long time and god i want to leave and live by myself but thats not an option for another year or so. i know that parents screaming at their kids every day isnt normal and older brothers constantly hurting their little siblings isnt normal but i just cant stop thinking that im being overdramatic and unfair to them. i feel like im being manipulative whenever i try to tell people about it because its fine and it really was my fault. even saying that sounds really manipulative though! i dont want to give people the wrong idea and i dont know how to say this right

my family has done so much for me theyre lovely people and i know i love them so why do i keep flinching when theyre in the room and why do i feel so paranoid that someones mad at me? i just want to get away from everything

i feel so guilty i should be more grateful to them

i cant get my head around this and i honestly dont know what to think at this point so any advice you have would be greatly appreciated

sorry for the long ask and i hope ur doing well

-🌧️🌧️🌧️

for many victims we don’t even register it’s not normal because to us the abuse is normal because it’s all we know. it’s pretty common for victims to not realize they were abused until years later or until we tell someone who think it was normal

ur family can still do nice things for you but they can also still be abusive. u most likely flinch because that’s your body remembering the abuse. our body, our muscles and our nervous system can remember but our mind does not.

don’t feel guilty for feeling this way it’s normal to feel confused by abuse because it’s not always black and white either!! depending on ur age i would see if you could stay with someone else or live with friends (but i also know this isn’t always possible.)

[aroaceconfessions]

i am aroace. coming to terms with asexuality didnt feel like a big deal to me. i definitely am asexual, not sex repulsed but feel zero attraction on that end and i am fine with that. being aromantic however feels like such a big deal. i grew up with romance and love everywhere i looked. it was framed as some magical thing and that everyone had a soulmate and i could not wait to find mine. i loved love stories growing up. i wanted to fall in love so badly and have someone love me back. but i never got crushes on anybody. when kids in my class would talk about them i thought it was just little kids playing a game, and that they weren't actually in love/getting crushes because we were too young for that. on the rare occasion someone told me they liked me i literally got embarrassed for them because i was like wow they are really into this game thats so embarrassing (which i realize was shitty of me but like i just didnt know people were serious). the realization that my train of thought wasnt "normal" didnt hit me until college, when i realized we were plenty old enough to get crushed and that i was the odd one out for having not been in a relationship. i am fine cuddling and holding hands and even kissing/doing other romance coded things with people until there is romantic intent behind it, then i just feel gross. i feel awful, because i want the soulmate thing so badly, but it just isnt something i was made for.

Submitted April 21, 2023

[aita-blorbos]

my friends directed me to this blog to see what people would think about my situation. theyre fully supportive, but wanna see what tumblr thinks, i guess.

aita for killing the person who murdered my family, and then killing my rich abusive adoptive father?

hi. im like, 19. or 20. i lost count. i dont care about gender, but i guess im male and use he/him. anyway. when i was around 10, there was a break and enter into my house. we were getting robbed. the robber killed my mom and dad, while i snuck into the kitchen do grab a kitchen knife. i stabbed him in the back and took his gun while he was stunned. i was scared to use it, so instead i just kept stabbing him until he stopped breathing. great childhood, i know.

anyway, after that, i was all alone. i didnt know where my brother went, and my parents were dead. we didnt really have an extensive family, so there were no funerals, and there was no one to take care of me. so for a while i just roamed the streets. some random guy saw me, and seeing a kid covered in blood probably isnt the most normal thing, so he ran up to ask if i was ok. he brought me to an orphanage, where i stayed for a while. eventually, my second "dad" (i dont even want to call him that. hes a disgrace compared to my real father, even calling him a parent feels disrespectful) came to the orphanage to adopt a kid. said kid was me. i was happy, cause id finally have a home again, and he was rich! i would be spoiled, and given a wonderful life for the trauma i had to go through.

i was wrong, though. the guy who adopted me was a prick. he was a rich scumbag who only thought about others if it meant he could say bad things about them. he was negligent, and would sometimes hit me. he got drunk all the time, and usually i was left alone in his huge house, only having the occasional housemaid to care for me. whenever i see pictures of the interiors of huge houses or mansions it gives me chills. anyway, after all this bullshit, i finally thought enough was enough. i still carried a few knives on me ever since the incident, in case something bad happened again. at night when no one except the two of us were in the house, i stabbed him in the heart while he was sleeping. i took all his money, and figured if worst comes to worst, i could pay my way out of being punished for murder. fortunately, that wasnt even necessary. when i called 911 pretending like i had no idea what happened, none of the officers even touched me. no one had a clue i had the weapon. it was eventually ruled down to a robber that got away, ironically enough.

after all this, i inherited all of his shit. all the money, the whole house, and all his stupid rich guy bullshit (think yachts, fancy cars). it was all mine. i turned the house into a housing unit, letting anyone who wanted to to live in it (like the homeless or people who needed to get away from an abusive household), given how huge it was. seriously, it felt like a palace in a disney movie. i sold all the shit he had that i didnt care about, or gave it away for free to others. i donate frequently to charity. i make sure i dont keep too much money for myself at a time, and i dont buy stupid things that i dont actually need. i dont want to become like him.

alright, so heres the final question. i know some people think murder is unacceptable, no matter how evil the victim is, that my parents may be watching me from the stars with hatred, and that rich peolle are assholes. but im trying my best to be a good person.

am i the asshole?

[mothofmany]

TW RAMCOA /vent

Becoming painfully aware that my family was a familial cult and their church of choice was their safe place because many other familial cults hid in plain site there.

It just makes everything in my life make so much sense and i feel like i may have had this realization before and just shoved it back deep down?

Idk basically my birth mother “married” (in the eyes of god my grandparents say) my birth father when she was 13 and he was 18. My mother gave birth to 3 kids before the age of 21- which she often wouldnt consent and my father would say “well youre my wife” and she would just allow it. and eventually my birth father started using heroin and meth and my mother attempted to leave him but he wouldnt let her and attempted to kill all the kids and himself so she split us up. My mom sent me to live with my grandparents, who then sent me to my bio fathers sister- and my brothers went elsewhere to prevent my father from finding us and my mom.

My mom was supposed to come back, but my grandparents and my adoptive parents took legal custody by moving to a different state and my mother couldnt get to the court date in person, so the custody went to my adoptive parents who kept me in contact with my bio father, who i knew as my uncle until i was 7, and my grandparents.

My grandparents would have get togethers every year and we would all go to mass and hang out with the very large family including my bio father every year. And every year i was terrified of these events and would try to hide the whole time.

My adoptive parents used TBMC on me and from what i know their parents used it on them. My grandparents loved using different forms of physical discipline on children and so did everyone at the church. They all recommended a parenting book called “to train up a child.” I specifically remember my parents at a parenting session with the pastor after sermon asking “my child isnt reacting to spanking as a punishment, what should i do?” And the pastor said “spank her more and harder until she gets the point.”

My grandparents would talk about beating my parents with belts and suggest to use belts instead of the wooden spoon and sticks my parents used on us.

I would be spanked 50 times; sometimes more, sometimes less; until i “stopped crying and accepted my punishment” which was really just me dissociating.

In my family this was normal. My cousins went through similar things. So i just thought EVERY family grew up being beaten into submission. I thought time out included being locked in room in the dark indefinitely for hours. Because it happened to my siblings. It happened to me. It happened to the kids i went to church with. I even had one of my friends parents spank me for laughing at my friend cussing. Her mom over heard and spanked us both.

I was only allowed friends that went to church and has parents that were friends with my parents. If they werent approved by my parents i couldnt talk to them, even if i was at school.

I wasnt allowed to wear what i wanted or read what i wanted. They had to “approve” everything that i did. I could never make my own decisions and if i did they would make fun of me, make me feel horrible about my choices, or just hurt me for “making the wrong choice.”

Plus theres the weird sexual stuff that happened and i dont even know how to get into that because it doesnt feel real but it does at the same time and everytime i try to talk about it i shut down

[trickstarbrave]

"worst case scenario for kids in 2000's internet unsupervised was accidentally seeing porn" no its not. i promise you we had cults and nazis and pedophiles. it wasnt just a scare tactic. ppl from my generation were "friends" with people who went to federal prison. i have lifelong trauma. from this era is where you get the "you have no idea who someone online could be!" and that was totally true. for a lot of communities chatting it up with grown adults when u were a kid was stupidly normalized as was lying about your age. most of the time you didn't know anyone's actual name

it is a different hellscape than kids now. what i can say is there was a bit more agency in the 2000's and less constant surveillance. like, the reason kids and young adults loved being on the computer was to actually have a sense of agency and freedom.

now though there is an expectation you are being watched. having to conform to what is marketable and what isnt. no privacy whatsoever. kids are giving out their legal name and where they live almost down to their address and saying what school they go to like this is the playground by their house. before the expectation was "if you get abused thats your fault" but now its just "i cant get abused! everyone uses their full name and tells the truth!" being like, the default????

[liquidstar]

not conspiracy to kill me kinda of kid, but i was pretty convinced that, somehow, my entire life was fiction and it was being televised to someone and the writers were a bit bonkers when i was, like, 7

although i was pretty sure that the whole show would end when i was 17 and it probably be with the sun exploding bc i was so distraught over the fact that time in space is different from time in earth and the sun might as well have already exploded and we just have to wait for earth to catch up ig, so maybe i was a conspiracy death kid now that i think more than two secs about it huh

this took a turn

HONESTLY I KINDA RELATE TO THAT TOO THO but for me it wasnt so much that i thought my life was fiction, more so that i just i just liked pretending it was. id like talk to myself sometimes as if i was talking to the viewers. but i never thought abt it in the meta way like w writers and stuff

but. the second paragraph is kind of wild. im glad the world didnt end when you turned 17. and that you were able to realize that you were a death conspiracy kid in my inbox LOL. i get it tho the idea that the sun is going to explode someday is so distressful when youre a child. like you learn that and they just expect you to be normal as if the thing in the sky isnt a ticking time bomb

[caffstrink]

your points about omori are so real but i also think the story isnt even that good like the "twist"... like not only does it not really make sense logistically (puts on my cinemasins goggles for a minute) how did two small kids drag an older girl into the woods to hang her without getting noticed and also why even come to that conclusion instead of making it look like more of an accident in the original scene (takes off my cinemasins goggles sorry about that) but i felt like it was kind of cheapened when it wasnt her killing herself. like he still couldve blamed himself for that because he wasnt there for her and didnt notice the signs but its like no he accidentally pushed her down the stairs. (and then framed it as a suicide which Was indeed actually a bad thing to do so yeah man you should feel a little guilty) but that could just be me being an enjoyer of explorations of suicide and its aftermath in stories

Honestly the twist was the only praiseworthy thing i found in the game and even so it wasn't enough to redeem the whole journey to get there imo. I think my opinion happens to be the opposite of yours bc mari comitting suicide would've been too simple, too expected, whileas sunny accidentally causing her death is what explains the guilt that makes him repress his emotions/identity and choose to live in his imagination. Theres 2 main big issues i have with it though, and since you've given me the opportunity I'll rant about it.

If i remember right at the time of her death mari was 15 while sunny/basil were 11 or 12, so i don't think it would be far-fetched for the two to carry her body together, although hanging her from the tree would be difficult. As for no one noticing i think that's actually pretty normal as far as these cases go, you'd be surprised at how many murders happen in broad daylight in suburban areas where there's neighbors walking outside yet no one notices bc they're not looking at someone's backyard to see some guy burying a dead body (if you watch those murder documentaries you'd be surprised at how common these cases tend to be). Basil trying to frame it as suicide is honestly a very very stupid idea, but considering their age and the situation it does make sense since they were panicking and people have 0 braincells when they're panicking.

The main reason i liked this twist though, may be because of how i perceived the scene where we see mari's hanging body and how it had an eye open, i thought it implied mari could be still alive when they hung her, and the uncertainty of it is what wouldve plagued sunnys psyche for the following years. Idk that was what i thought at least, but i don't recall seeing anyone else point out mari possibly still being alive when she was hung, so it may be just me.

Now here's the rant part. The game subtly implies that sunny's parents knew it wasn't a suicide. And by subtly i mean in a HIDDEN ROOM YOU HAVE TO ACCESS THROUGH ALTERING VALUES IN THE GAME FILES instead of, i don't know, in the annoying dragged out black space horror segment? Anyway in that room you see a shadow of what looks to be Sunnys father chopping down the tree and he says "you're no son of mine" or something along those lines (its been a while so i forgot the exact quote). PLUS its kind of obvious maris body wouldve been taken to be analyzed and theyd for sure see the head trauma that caused her death, but since it was accidental and both sunny and basil were minors, it's likely they went unpunished and Sunny's parents covered up with the suicide story so the others wouldn't think of them as murderers.

Why the hell does the game never mention his parents except on the real world? Its shown they divorced after mari died, did sunny not really care about that? Why does his ugly pastel escapism fantasy not have any mention to them? Did he not feel guilty about the grief he caused his parents? WHY IS IT NOT MENTIONED IN THE GAME AND ONLY IN A HIDDEN ROOM

And the second thing is the reasons that caused the incident in first place, it felt like it couldve been explored much more than it was. Like ok i get it, sunny didnt actually want to play violin, his friends thought he did and he was too afraid to disappoint them when they bought him one. But the main thing he mentions he hates about it in his diary is that he needs to practice on saturdays and misses 1 hour of cartoon watching with his friends. Like man. Come on. Priorities i guess? There wasn't any pressure of someone moving away, or someone leaving for college, or anything like it that would explain why sunny needed that 1 hour of cartoon watching with everyone so badly that it emotionally distressed him to that level.

My second complaint is how Mari is treated like a pure saint through all of the game, which was kind of a missed opportunity to have shown that she also was flawed and not always the kind big sister he idealized her to be in his mind (it could've also been shown that the Saint Mari in his brain is due to his guilt, but no, apparently she was just was like that irl too), the only flaw mari had was that she was perfectionist about the piano recital and pressured sunny about it? Like come on man there could've been more here. We could've had accepting mari was a flawed human as a part of sunnys recovery so he can move on from itn but instead mari is just a perfect angel through all of the game who unfortunately was accidentally killed by her younger brother bc she got upset he broke his violin on purpose like any 15 year old would. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[smolcuriouskitten]

"Denton! Come hither, we must finish dinner!" Amara called for her son, waiting by their cottage door. It was another night her son didnt come running fast enough, teenagers will be teenagers after all. "Dont be dizzy dear, hes out with those...ruffians." Diminicus responds, gently pulling her back inside and shutting the door. "He will join when he can. The years are catching up to him, you must remember he isnt our kid anymore." He reassures and she looks over at him confused.

"But why must he be so daft? Not consider our feelings? Its always such selfish nature with him, imagine how his wife will feel if he can stop moving about so freely for one!" She fusses and Diminicus shushes her with a kiss to the forehead. "Gives us more time for solitude. You must remember with him not being home...We have much more time for each other." He teases and just like that, Denton was an afterthought in both of his parents mind.

"Such a dolt! Waving his riches in front of us as if we are just as crow as he!" A kid yells at Denton, making him roll his eyes and wave him off. "You consider cleanliness to be a sign of wealth? How your parents must be proud of you for not going to the creek to wash. Take a gob of soap and a rag the next time you depart your home." Denton responds, annoyed at being considered an outcast.

The year was 1644 and Denton just turned 21. It was a year after the English Civil war and he had to stay with his parents for a bit to get back onto his feet. He disliked it though, having departed their home when he was 18 for war. The experience was traumatic and caused him to grow a phobia of being filthy. Even if he wasnt alive for the plague, he would be damned if he was going to be a casualty in it. Gods, people lived as if living in filth and squalor was a normal occurance.

Looking at his pocket watch, he curses and heads home to greet his family for dinner. He was bickering with his mates for too long and lost track of time. Passing by a creek, he notices a body face down in the water. This would be a normal occurance except for the clothes they was wearing. They didnt look to be of a material he recognized, his mother being a seamstress so he had some knowledge of fabric.

They were wearing silk. He never seen silk before, no one within his town had it and traveling was still limited due to the world. What the hell is going on? He rushes over. "Are you okay?!" He calls with no response, which causes a silent curse from him as he had to get wet to retrieve them. He hated getting dirty but this was a good reason even if he can already hear his mothers scoldings.

He didnt want to risk not saving a life and living with that for the rest of his days. He drops his things and dives in to save them, grabbing them, swimming them back to dry land, which he could feel their chest still moving. "I got you...I got you. Come on stay with me." He began to do heart compressions, giving them mouth to mouth. In that moment he didnt care who seen him, even if it was looked down at the time to do such a thing with a man.

Wait...This isnt a man. Long hair, breasts, feminine features. A woman. A strange woman wearing a silk dress but he was too focused on reviving them, gender didnt matter. After a few minutes, he stopped upon the person sitting up and spitting water out. A wheeze left their mouth as they laid back on the ground. Denton looked down at them, out of breath himself. "If I didnt know any better, I would think you were trying to steal my lungs in order to save your hide." He teases, patting his chest.

"Did....Did I die and go to heaven?" The person asks, sitting up holding their head. At that moment, Denton realized what the person was. It was a woman. A beautiful one at that. Hair black, curls all throughout, covering her back like the finest fabric. Her skin was the color of the sunset, her skin seeming to absorb the light effortlessly. Her eyes were just as brown as a cocoa bean and lips the size of a small saucer. He looked at her with a flustered gaze and chuckles shyly. "If you died, that means I failed the job of saving you." He responds, sputtering over his words.

The woman looked over at him, smiling at his flustered nature. "You are quite charming. Whats my hero's name?" She responds, Denton finding it difficult to even piece a sentence together. God, he thought he had crushes before but she gave them a run for their money. Without a word, he covers her with his jacket, helping her off the ground. "Well...since I get my hero's name...My name is Renia. I hope your kindness extends further than covering me in your jacket. I am a bit famished.." She comments, which he nods, still not looking at her. He doesnt even know if he could.

"Denton is...is my name. I can lead you to my home, apologies for not having anything dry to give you. We need to get you in front of a fire." He keeps his gaze anywhere other than at this woman. Nothing he could help, female attention wasnt something he got very often on account of his long hair and deep voice. It either scared someone when he had his back turned to them or his voice echoing along the small walls of rooms made people rumble with fear.

"Pleasure to meet you Denton. May I be straight with you for a moment?" Renia asks and stops, making Denton stop with her. He was still looking over her head, refusing to make eye contact. "Yes?" He responds and Renia reaches up to take the hat from his head and put it on hers. "I'm not of this world. I would hate for us to be burned at the stake for....other worldly features." She teases and he looks at her as if she has 4 eyes.

"Eh?" He asks, confused then she lifts up the hat which exposes the cat ears on her head which he freezes and looks at her with eyes as big as saucers. "I come in peace. My ship just crashed here. Keep this between us, I will give this back before I return home." She winks in response, starting to walk ahead of him, leaving him behind with his jaw to the floor. Leave it to you Denton, you always get the weird situations.

A thick layer of smoke filled the air as they were closer to his home. Denton tried to keep conversation but as soon as he looked over at her, he was stuttering and stumbling over his words. It seemed as if her eyes sparkled when he looked at her, putting her deeper under his spell. He pauses when they get closer to his home, looking over the horizon. "What in the gods..?" Denton interrupts Renia midsentence, not quite spotting his home yet.

"What is it?"

"My home." He responds breathlessly, sprinting ahead, which Renia quickly follows behind him, getting that feeling in the pit of her stomach. Oh no. "MOTHER! FATHER! Oh gods!" He sees his home engulfed in flames and immediately drops to his knees.

Renia scrambles to look around the rubble, wanting to find some resemblance of life. Then a flaming bottle was thrown over in their direction and Renia screams, quickly hopping on top of Denton, covering him in a protective bubble. "WHAT IS THIS?! WHAT ARE YOU-?!" He screams until the bottle explodes, raining flames above them. They went untouched, the flames dissipating as soon as they sat on the purple protective bubble.

Denton looked stunned but looked at Renia with admiration. "I suppose you arent of this world. We...We need to get put of here." He calms down, picking Renia up and sprinting to safety. The clambering noise of horses and yelling began to fill the air, Denton's legs carrying them to an area out of sight and he delicately places Renia on the ground. They waited for the noises of horses and yelling to subside, Denton clutching his heart with a groan. "My parents...My family...Those mealey-mouthed bastards!" He sobs, Renia sitting up and looking around. "I must have landed in Liverpool..." She mumbles, gently clutching his fist.

"Denton." She gently calls and he looks over at her, both of her hands holding his face. "You saved my life...I want...I want to give you something. Something that will help you get revenge and much more of this world. Do you wish to have it?" She asks, Denton crumbling in her hands, tears running down to her hands. "I want to kill all of them...All of them who caused me this pain. They deserve to pay." He sobs and Renia nods.

"Your wish...is granted." She mused, kissing his forehead. His fate was sealed after that day. Immortality was his from that day on.