#it wasnt Meant to be time but it sure is now
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I WASNT SURE ABOUT THAT BUT I APOLOGIZE
I have a couple of reading problems so I misunderstood what the asker meant so thats my fault
BUT genuinely this is important for a lot of you
While i did misread this one, there has still been asks similar to this that i did catch. against both Heart AND Mind. I usually just delete them since ive already stated i was against that [it IS in the rules btw & some of yall need to read that again before submitting. including the shipping and suggestive rules]. But there been quite a bit over time & it still keeps happening even now, along side some other things. [im not good at writing down & explaining my thoughts but i'll do my best]
One being the entire part stated above
Second being how people deal with/handle aspects of depression & the main idea with the album.
A lot of people treat it either as if its for a joke, downplay or ignore it, or even infantilize parts of it [mainly toward Heart]. The last being an especially horrible way of talking about depression and portraying it. Theres a lot of people here [including myself] who struggle with that and its just harmful or annoying to see the main part of the album get horribly misinterpreted for many many reasons.
Which semi goes into the third point being that, for Whole especially, these characters are no matter what connected to CJ himself. So I will repeat that I do not want ANY shipping headcanons, suggestive/nsfw headcanons, and no headcanons about Whole that are too closely related to CJ. That mainly being pronouns or any other sexuality for Whole.
And not only have I stated this but Jash himself has said that Whole is basically just him. Even saying that with HMS; he has his own ideas for them but lets the public decide & choose their own for them. While for the other, he says "He/Him for ‘Whole’, though, seeing as it’s just me."
While yes there are ways to go about HMS being Whole or Whole as a character, he is still connected TO Chonny. This also goes for the other versions of him like the Power Hours. They are, to me, too closely connected to CJ that I don't feel comfortable giving headcanons to a Real Person.
Again there are ways to go about it where its more from the idea of the album/single itself. it being a headcanon about the content but not the actual person. Especially when he clarified it already that at least Whole is just him, so likely the the other albums are as well.
While all of that is not ALL the submissions, a good majority of you are chill thankfully, its happened enough to where it needs to be stated again. Either way just take caution when sending something in and just PLEASE read the rules before doing anything.
Mind has Bluetooth hearing aids. Soul had got him them so he could hear and be able to enjoy music. Yet, neither it nor Mind knew that they could connect to *anything.* Even if he didn't want them to. Heart found this out and connected them to his phone, just so he could play random ass sounds in Mind's ear.
Headcanon #895
#again my fault for the headcanon itself as that was just my brain not. comprehending it correctly#but also its just needed to be said anyway#been getting too many submissions that a weird. harmful. & uncomfortable as of late#both here and on the incorrect quotes#also apologies for any grammer or spelling mistakes i again am not great at certain texts.#not a headcanon
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late night anatomy practice that turned into a little more
#linkeduniverse#lu time#2023 art tag#yeah alright .#it wasnt Meant to be time but it sure is now#i drew the hair last n wound up w time so whatever HSKABF#pretty tho#croptop n baggy pants for the win#i was so sad to put the waistband on the pants cos there was a stomach there thts hidden now but its ok#time was literally retired n living w his loving wife before the adventure . give him some fuckibg weight
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i think its kinda funny (now ive gotten over my fear of arti at least i used to be so fucking sad abt this) that a lot of ppl thought arti was decently easy and spears was really hard meanwhile i was the COMPLETE opposite. spear master my beloved arti my beloathed
#ive gotten over my anxiety around her campaign now but i STILL dont really like it#scavs werent designed to be fought . the entire thing with them is youre meant to stay on their good side or they'll fuck you over#and imo arti BARELY has enough abilities that help with that#the only thing that does really is the parry . grenades are good for groups sure but you cant throw down in the base game so it can be-#-REALLY hard to aim them . im very glad ive gotten over the anxiety around her now (i had the WORST time playing her. this was before i had#-a decent amount of my accessibility mods and i wasnt quite ok with myself cheating yet and... horrid. i hated it so much)#but i really think there should be more accessiblity and difficulty options in remix. ESPECIALLY for arti#rw#lev.txt
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𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔
#it hurts but it is natural and im not oversensitive and im allowed to feel this way#the future i had envisioned and hoped for and believed in was just.. suddenly gone and im allowed to mourn the loss#because for an entire year i've been wanting this. and imagining it and thought of ways it could be real#and i didnt base my feelings only on imagination but on his words and him saying that we should figure out whatever was between us#and in the way we talked and what we shared and how he did start treating me as 'his girl'#which i also do not think was irresponsible nor am i upset by that. bc i wasnt 100% present bc of my avpd stuff#but it was so amazing and he was so amazing and i'd been having feelings for him for half a year before and then i only fell more and more#im trying to be as non specific as possible bc like i can only talk abt *me*.. but there were just sm other things and circumstances#so it got less and less intense.. and i wanted to give him space and patience and not push smth on him and be insensitive#then i told him abt being in love w him and wanting to be there for him w his struggles and working it out together#and im embarrassed af but i had honestly thought... that would be met well and with reciprocity...#(i understand that feelings cant be forced & im not upset or feel betrayed i just felt v sad bc i was so sure he would want me to be his gf#but i got neither a clear rejection nor much of what he was thinking abt me and what was between us. mostly just that it wasnt a good timin#so again i wanted to respect that and not keep push it. even if i tried bringing it up sometimes it never got anywhere and it didnt feel#right to just keep and keep on doing it. then there were times when i /felt/ rejection and got more hope based on interactions#truly i've been walking around for a year believing that this was smth that would come true if only we could talk#and i've been waiting and hoping and loving. and i've really been thinking of it as a real future#i even tried telling him a few months ago that if he wants me he can have all of me but he told me to stop so i did#and now i've learned that none of my devotion or hope was returned... i've been in this waiting room all alone all this time#i thought i was patient bc of all the other things but he couldnt give me a chance but he did for someone else and that just hurts#idk it hurts bc this love and connection meant so much to me and i wanted to do anything to make it work#and when u realize all of a sudden that it was only u who felt that and that future u so badly thought would happen isnt real#.... i feel extremely lost and despairing. plus it just is how i feel but i've only been this connected to him#honestly it might sound weird how i can feel this much for someone i've never met irl but he has been my only hope and comfort#for the past years he hs been my only comfort and the only thing making me feel good and ok and hopeful.... so it hurts it hurts it hurts!!
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Wow just fucking wow
I sent in a medical records request in october? To get life insurance through work (why not right?) And my stupid dr never sent them in.
WHY DID I JUST NOW GET A TEXT FROM THE INSURANCE COMPANY THAT THEY JUST RECEIVED MY RECORD?!?!?!??!?!
Fucking unbelievable
#marquilla#they give you like 60 days to get the records. this fucker took like double that. what the fuck.#he's such an incompetent dr as in his office is just so poorly structured that if you do not have them send something in#RIGHT THEN when youre there watching its a fucking toss up if it gets in#and i just never contacted them bc i felt it wasnt MY FUCKING JOB to make sure they got the request that I SENT THEM#and i said well if they get it and i get approved it was meant to be otherwise ill try again some other time.#honestly i only still go to him bc he gave me a disability parking card with no problems like i expected#he was like yeah sure ambulatory cane user yeah you have fibro and cfs mhm got it 👍👍#where i thought he'd be like weeeell do you REALLY need it? i mean you work without it... (bc i only do 4 hrs and can pace it)#but like god help you if you want a new rx for an inhaler for your well documented asthma 🙄 had to ask my allergist the next time i saw him#like a year later and he was like... what have you been doing without one??? like bumming off mom sgdgdggdgdd and drinking warm water while#breathing very measured breaths like the school nurse made me like sgdggdgd im fine i just want to have a new script so i have refills and#fresh inhalers if i fucking need one but apparently my dr didnt think i did 🙄 my allergist actually called in two shgdgdgd#he was like get this bitch TWO inhalers and an epipen NOW
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ITS BEEN A FUCKING WEEK. PASS THE DETRITUS
#howling#had a lvl 1 trauma at abt 720#which sucks but we were managing fine#call er back at 750 as protocol to ask if theyve transfused and if theyll need more and to make sure they have a t&s ordered#secretary confirms that both units were transfused + they wont be needing more (lol) + a type and screen WAS drawn just not ordered yet#ok cool. all i have to do is wait for the specimen so i can crossmatch the units#im chilling in bloodbank doing bloodbank things#meanwhile. er calls the front desk (blood bank has a separate phone line. they specifically called the lab line instead)#lab assistant takes the call (like normal). theyre not sure what er said exactly but theyre planning to transfer the patient somewhere#and mentioned 'something like mpp???'#midnight tech was upfront and overheard. immediately asked if they meant MTP#lab assistant wasnt sure but said she had asked if er wanted to talk to blood bank (aka me) and they said no#both the assistant and the tech assumed that they DIDNT actually mean mtp because that would be fucking bonkers#if they casually mention it to a lab assistant and NOT FUCKING BLOOD BANK#and i didnt hear about this phone call until like maybe an hour or two later btw#anyways. yeah no they called an MTP#thats always fucking awful but they DID bring down the t&s partway thru#patient had no history and the only other specimens on file were drawn at the same time#so i order a confirmatory type to make things easier later on. it needs to be drawn by either the nursing team or by a lab assistant#screen is negative so at least we only need to do an immediate spin crossmatch on everything#we get all the units emergency issued + the platelets are ordered and issued normally after the t&s is done since it doesnt need a xmatch#er cancels the mtp. theyve transfused 6 out of the 8 units we sent them. two remaining units being sent to or#or is told directly that the mtp was canceled and that theyd need to call a new one if things escalate again#ok. things are calming down. its fine. i got all the xmatches done and theyre all compatible which is great#we get in a delivery from arc of platelets bringing us back up to 6 on the shelf (we need 5 on hand tomorrow morning for an open heart)#(at this point i find out about the phone call i mentioned earlier)#i get a call from or. my heart sinks immediately#or nurse says they need 2 rbcs and 2 platelets and theyre sending someone down RIGHT NOW to pick it up#we still hadnt gotten that confirmatory btw#im too stunned to say anything else so i just go ok. and hang up
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why do i always have to love the killers everyone hates 💀
#i reaaaaaaaaally love the knight. but im truly not inspired to play him in public matches#not only bc i only got him tonight and i suck but also bc every damn video i watch ppl dc immediately against him#i swear DCing has become more of a problem while i was gone????#like yea its always been normal for someone to dc bc theyre pissy abt getting tunneled or something#but surely it wasnt this common to just immediately stop running and give up when you see the killer for the first time#(oops sorry i used DCing and killing yourself on hook interchangeably here but i meant that to me both seem to be way more common now)
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boy how do you reblog such great things
been cultivating my dash for years. i also found most of them in my drafts
#looked at my drafts to find a Rb about my day / the boy i like (☕) BUT. IT ATE JT LMAO POST IS GONE#however i will do it here and now#SO IT WAS “CULTURE DAY” TODAY BUT MOST PPL USE IT AS NON UNIFORM DAY#I go in & see ☕ in form and go to assembly blah blah blah dont see him again until 3rd period#i sit behind him in english bc we have a room change and i have an excuse hes sososo funny and talks to me like the whole time#same as biology but he got kicked out for talking too much lol#then at lunch he disappears nd im a little bummed BUT HE APPEARS FROM THE HALL AND INVITES ME#so i go and bring my friends too and we sit while he & some younger years dance#and hes dancing and slaying etc etc all flamboyant /pos /pos /pos sometimes on the stage sometimes near us#near us he looks. fucking DEAD into my eyes and sings along to the song when its like “i know you like me” or sum#NDJSBDJSBE AHHHHH#and im sat a little away from the group but he sits with me specifically#friendgroup takes a pic without me really noticing & my friend Annabelle jokingly goes “why is Bev looking at ☕ with so much love”#I laugh it off. but ohhh ny god u have no idea. i was heart eyes motherfucker the whole time#HES SO CUTE IM SCREAAAAMING WITH THE WAY HIS KIPPAH KINDA MOVES HIS HAIR & HIS NEW GLASSES & SHIRT THAT ISNT UNIFORM SO I CAN SEE HIS WAIST#UGHFJSBSKSB MY GOD MY GOD MY GOD#hes so cool its so scary to be around him#then in PE we were meant to habe just dance for the last 2 weeks but theres been no available room#our group were in the gym but we got permission to wonder around instead#☕ says “whatre you doing?” i say “walking aimlessly” and he says “OH MY GOD PERFECT SAME LETS DO IT TOGETHER”#so him & me & my friends r walking and then im like. can we play just dance in the tennis courts#So he gets it on his phone starts playing and dibs me as a partner for Girlfriend and Timber. oh my sweet lord.#GODDD HES SO PRETTY AND FUNNY AND COOL IM OBSESSED WITH HIM OH MY GOD.#so anyway. thats the answer to your question LMAOOO#loz tag#asks#beverly says stuff#the bev is gay chronicles#☕#like before i wasnt sure if i LIKE-LIKED him or if it was hyperfix or smthn. im now 100%sure i really really like him
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I've been following that AITA blog for a bit now and it has me thinking about my own life situations with conflict and drama. A passive "do I have anything I could submit to that blog?" But upon thinking about it, it's like... I really find no value in asking strangers whether I'm "the asshole" in situations. There are situations where I'm clearly not at fault, situations where I was a little shit but it was justified, and at least one situation where I have a definite "Oh yeah, I was definitely the asshole there". All in the past, so it's not like I'd even need advice or anything. I already know, so what's the point?
Maybe it stems from me being a generally self-aware and self-confident kind of person. I know what's going on with myself, know when I've wronged people, & I have a mentality of "well, I'll try to not do that in the future." Even if I feel a little guilty thinking back, what's the point of asking after something when I know I'm at fault? Or situations where things were complicated and both people had fault in things, but I know I wasn't being shitty on purpose & that's what matters to me. Ultimately, it results in a bunch of strangers drawing conclusions about things I really don't care about outside input on.
Still love reading the blog tho. There's something about reading up on random people's life drama that satisfies that gossipmonger soul in me So well.
#speculation nation#i think the most blatantly YTA thing id get is when i ghosted that guy i was seeing back when i was 20 or so#wasnt ever actually dating but i made it sound like i would. very much led him on.#then realized i just wasnt into cishet guys At All and dropped him out of nowhere bc i was 20 and didnt know how to deal with feelings#objectively it was a pretty awful thing for me to do. and i feel bad that i did it.#have i ever tried to reach out and apologize tho? no lmao#it happened so long ago now i feel like itd bring more animosity than relief anyways.#id like to think ive learned from it tho. Dont Date People Just For The Hell Of It.#god it rly is my romantic history where im the biggest asshole. my prior girlfriend too#i do feel bad about that. i never meant to hurt her but that sure is what i did.#it was better to break it off when i did. wouldve been better had i did it earlier but oh well.#then as a teenager and my whole fucked up romance life then...#but NO LONGER!!!!!!!! hopefully lol. im rly into my current girlfriend and after my last one ive been dedicated to. not do that again.#cant date people just because im bored. that's never ended well for me.#i learned my lesson this time for SURE!!!!!#anyways yea id say more constently id be The Asshole in these situations. but im only human man it happens.#other situations it's usually just fucked up situations with me being a toxic little shit in response bc it's all i knew.#idk. community voting doesnt matter to me. learning from my prior mistakes and shortcomings is what matters to me.#it's interesting to see the blog tho. people are insecure about some of the most trivial things sometimes...
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the gangs all here :)
#fantastics from exile tribe#sato taiki#i was going to post this as a translation but decided i wasnt qualified bc i couldnt exactly figure out wtf 流右 meant lmao#but unofficially here in the tags im p sure it says something like#'ahh this is cuter than ever huh.. my kid is always having a good time lol' (taikis kid = upagoro)#but anyways right u are taiki this is ADORABLE#all the kids having a playdate😭😭😭😭#i hadnt thought of all the member merch creatures being friends but I DO NOW#absolutely crying at the staff putting all the member merch together backstage to greet them tho😭😭😭😭#this is how i would have them all together if i could buy them🥺 theyre besties and have to stick together#i would put them in so many situations pls ldh let me buy them PLS
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I just accidentally brought back a bunch of memories of stuff my mom used to say to me :')
#she said she wished id never been born. like girl that was on you not me#along with 'i could just get rid of you' as a threat multiple times#i thought she meant sending me to foster care but now... im not entirely sure she didnt mean unaliving me#she also used to threaten to cut off my thumb#i would say it was an empty threat but shed pull out the knives or scissors sooo maybe not#she would frequently ask what was wrong with me#call me ungrateful or a brat#remind me of all the things that she did for me and how much worse it could be#its hard to remember the stuff she said#idk it probably doesn't sound that bad but it seriously messed me up#she used to scream at me until i cried#shed call me a liar or satanic because i self harmed#god and im still not sure what rumors she spread about it but she definitely told people something#i would say she said something untrue but honestly idk. it could have been something i did actually do but phrased badly idk#i never got to find out#once the first person confronted me about it i had a mental breakdown because i didnt know what was going on and no one would explain#but clearly it was something bad because of how confrontational they were being#actually that wasnt even the first person kind to think of it#god im like shakinv just recalling it#she also called me selfish a lot#oh yeah she said she didnt care if i starved to death one time#which i mean. she clearly didnt care if i died but whatever#neither did I really#i want to remember everything but i can't :(
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still it was sooooooo funny and uncomfortable at the psych appointment because she saw ? somewhere in papers/files that my mom and dad divorced in.... 2015 i think and shes all like "so.... usually divorce causes problems in children... how was that for you was it hard on you...?" acting all nervous/gentle like lmaooooo thats not even the worst part i dont think i cared about the divorce In Comparison to Everything Else. hed been abusive to my mom and generally neglectful not great to us (me and sibling) and theyd been separated for 6 years before the divorce because he kept going to jail for drug related things which he would often steal money from us for it and generally made my moms life hell by like manipulating and emotionally abusing her and hed have violent tantrums where he broke things (there are still holes in the walls and other damage in the house from him) and also sorta ruined our lives a bit and then in 2019 he was accused of some crime and he ran away to escape getting arrested or whatever and i think legally he is classified as a missing person and we dont even know if hes alive or not.
so like the divorce was whatever to me i guess.
#i think abt this sometimes and its just weird to me#like not the psych appointment that was just like 4 days ago. like the dad situation#its uncomfortable to think he might be dead and its also uncomfortable to think about what the hell hes doing if hes Out There#before id actually searched him up on the internet a few times within the past few years wondering if something was found out and i wasnt#told or something. seeing if maybe there was a police report or something or even an obituary or something. but there wasnt#this got more serious than i meant it to be :/ but he was diagnoses with bipolar so the psych think i have that. not sure abt that#but like i kinda want to talk about this or like tell people i know about it mostly bc i just feel like idk i feel like this is something.#like. i think it says things about me i feel like maybe this information would give people a more complete view of me in a way#i guess lawl but also i know its uncomfortable probably and im scared of that. the widespread hate of 'trauma dumping' makes me#feel like i cant tell people things that might be uncomfortable#oh and i guess something else about this is while obviously this has psychological effects but the effects feel more. not mild#but. interwoven. they dont seem as apparent or like they dont stand out as much. like i get more upset about the topic of outdoor cats#than i get upset about this. like for me this was just something that happened i guess. mostly bc i know that basically everyone#has some kind of issues with their parents. or at least most people i know lawl. me befriending people like#OMG youre also fatherless !? so twinning right now#or like other things like crappy parents or divorce or this or that.#but i think thats most people but also maybe i just have a skewed perception lol
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i will never stop saying i love you. idc if it's strange. i love you random stranger at the grocery store, i love you scruffy dog stucking your head out of the window of your owner's car, i love you moss growing in the cracks of the sidewalk. i will find love in everything and everyone
#personal#out of it bc double dose of my nerve meds but im feeling sappy. i love everyone ok peace and love ✌️💗#ive finally gotten to a point where i can say i love you with confidence so if i wanna say it im going to#but i only say it if i mean it. wasnt sure if i meant it all the other times but now i know bc now i see love everywhere i go#i may be upset tomorrow. maybe in a few hours even. but rn i feel love so much around me so im content
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hello!!!! he is here (in his rain boots) to offer a distraction! lol
whats the format you prefer w snz stuff?? (like a fic, wav, video, etc!)
in his rain boots!!! ToT I love him omg so precious~ thank you for sending in the ask!!
For making myself, or consuming content?
Content Consuming Wise, I love art, wav, and fics, buuuut I think I may lean towards fics..? Still love the others, but I find in general that fics are easier content to consume for me, but still provide a full experience?? Idk man maybe it's just that I read a fic today that changed my brain chemistry (shout out to bestwhumpist) but im just. Fics. Agughghh~ (though a good wav is still ~chefs kiss~)
Making Myself, honestly I enjoy making most forms of content! But recently I've been having a lot more writing burn out, so wav making has kinda been something I enjoy more~ even though I'm still not that good and it takes me forever hahaha~ But I'll always remember my roots with fics, I've always enjoyed writing!
#waterfallasks#thank you for sending this innnn <3#i wasnt sure which you meant so i went with answering both options#hope that's alright!!! but yeah i find im more selective with wavs then fics honestly#and uh... maybe a bit of a controversial take but- i dont tend to actually like videos!#like its generally i find ones i DO like and thats surprising rather than finding ones i DONT#assume dislike until proven otherwise type of deal i guess!~#BUT ALSO IN THESE TAGS SHOUTING OUT BESTWHUMPIST AGAIN FOR THAT T/RIGUN MASTERPIEC#ive said this to her but the line about “give me a real one this time” or whatever it was#changed me. it changed it me and it lives in my head now. i dont remember the exact wording but that line. aughguh
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Something something that cough drop story but its me and my luggage
#Using the tags to vent now bc im like this close to breaking out in tears on the train and i would rather... Not do that#Like... its just luggage and there were only a few pieces of clothing in it. It wasnt full or anything and nothing really valuable in it#But its not JUST luggage. Its the fact that this happens literally every time im on a crowded train and dont have the space#To put my luggage on the seat next to me. And sure most of the time i manage to remember just when im about to exit the train#But even then! Even then that sometimes meant that i dont have enough time to get my luggage and get off the train#Which often means i then add an hour or so to my travel time bc i missed my station#And then i do forget it and its just fuck its humiliating. I literally bought a bright blue trolley so id be less likely to forget it#And i still forget it over and over and over again#And its the bag and the milk and the toothpaste and the homework and the powerpoint and the passport and the key and the appointments#The times i told someone id call them the times i promised id cook or do the laundry or the dishes#The meetings with friends#I barely remember conversations from last week and then have to context clue cheat my way through interactions with people i should know#Its just a small trolley. But its not just the trolley
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Hate texting family bc I can't just throw in "thank you 😭😭" or "afdggddggd" it has to be "thank you ❤️" and "haha" or "lol
Feels so bland 😩
#marquilla#texting family takes me twice as long mentally as texting friends bc friends get my emojis and keysmashes#forever thinking ab time AID thought me putting 'bc' meant before christ and my aunt was like#yeah sure. now read the sentence with it as before christ. its probably BECAUSE you idiot#like damn i know you're online enough to know shorthand like jfc dumbass#i wasnt even thinking when i typed bc instead of because bc i was LIVID and fighting with her dumbass so ofc i didnt expand
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