#everything about me she hated anyway... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

good-beanswrites · 2 days ago

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es being in CONPLETE and utter denial that their prisoners care for them and vice versa. This could be humor and/or angst. Like the prisoners have a whole birthday for es, they bring them back to their room when they pass out, etc. And still, es is like "uhm. Yeah so my prisoners DEFINITELY hate me for the verdicts and stuff" while ignoring a letter on their desk that says "we care for you!!"

They really are the most in-denial child you've ever met -_- I really hope the give-your-warden-a-hug trend continues through the vds, but I'm doubtful 😅 I got hooked on the birthday idea, especially since they don't have an official-official one. I tried to keep a balance of angst and lightheartedness, with the ending ambiguous enough to satisfy either hehe... (Also featuring a quick reference to the last angst piece where Es came down with a fever, but not meaningfully a sequel)

Es awoke on their birthday cold, sore, and crying out in fear.

They’d fallen asleep at their desk (which hadn’t been an issue the first few times when their neck and shoulders weren’t pinched up in pain.) Jackalope denied any fiddling with the prison’s temperature, but they still believed this chill wasn’t normal. Neither was their sharp increase in nightmares…

They shoved their notebooks aside, knocking against the desk’s lamp with a clatter. Es knew they had no right to feel so bitter. It wasn’t as if it was their real birthday. Today marked the day Milgram had begun, but they had joined the others scoffing at Mahiru’s suggestion that it could be considered the day “Es” was born.

And now, there was no one around to push it.

They arrived for breakfast in their rumpled uniform. Sure enough, no one spoke a word as they picked at some cereal. Yuno was the only one to make an odd comment after they stood, heading to the hallway.

“Back to work already? Maybe you should take today off. It’s… a good day to relax.”

“I’m fine, Yuno. There’s a bit more to get done,” they lied.

Milgram’s paperwork and logs had been turned in weeks ago. Everything currently strewn across their desk was there for personal use. It was better to continue their endeavors in the privacy of their own room rather than be an annoyance out here.

“If you say so…” her voice lilted with a lightness Es hadn’t heard in a long time. “Just try and take one break out here, okay? We don’t want a repeat of last time, hehe~”

They nodded, her cheery tone only plunging them deeper into shame. The prisoners had every right to ensure they didn’t overwork themselves again. It must have been infuriating to be expected to care for their own warden. They had to spend a whole week watching over some helpless child who’d dragged their prison into despair.

That night, Mikoto further drove in the knife by repeating the request cheerily. He brought them a plate of dinner, stopping the door with his foot when they tried to shrug off his comments.

“Just a little change of scenery,” he prodded. If even he was offering advice about overwork, the prisoners must have been desperate.

“Alright.” Es glanced down at the plate, knowing it would be going straight to the garbage given their current appetite. Something sweet sounded more palatable, but that would only sound childish to admit. “I’ll come out to grab some tea in a minute.”

The prison felt oddly quiet when they finally honored their word. They crept from the corridor into the kitchen. Es thought Jackalope maintained control of the meals, but the new mess of dishes told them the prisoners had made something on their own. Es felt a pang of guilt for throwing out their dinner; it may not have been as fur-infested as they originally thought.

They made their tea as silently as possible. The ache had returned to their muscles and temples. All they wanted to do was curl up on the couch in their room, grab a blanket to stave off this chill, and cry as silently as they could manage into their tea.

As Es approached their quarters, they realized they wouldn’t be so lucky.

The door to their quarters stood open a crack, voices of the prisoners rising up from inside.

“Hurry up! They’ll be back any minute now.”

“I thought you told them to leave their room?”

“I don’t think they were really buying it...”

Es already figured out the motive was out of selfishness rather than concern, but the betrayal still stung. They were the Warden, after all – they should have been far above falling victim to some mutinous plot to ransack their bedroom.

They took a measured breath. Their plans would need to wait. Es placed their tea on the ground, straightening out their uniform. They mustered up all the authority they could by lifting their chin and making the most of their height. They closed the gap to the doorway and hoped the stomping of their boots announced their arrival with enough intimidation.

“And just what do you think you’re do–”

“Surprise!”

Es’ mouth hung open, the rest of their lecture falling away into complete bafflement. Their room had been transformed with homemade materials: paper chains hung like party streamers above. Colored crafts were strewn about, in various shapes but with a clear rabbit theme. The books on their desk had been cleared away to make room for a cake, on which Kazui was hurriedly lighting some colorful candles. The icing displayed a shaky-handed drawing of Jackalope’s face.

“Happy birthday!” Muu beamed at them, unwavering even through her horrid veil. She linked her arms through theirs to drag them forward. “Didn’t we do such a good job?”

“I – what? My birthday…?”

Mikoto shrugged. “It’s close enough.”

“We figured you’d had enough bad surprises lately.” Kazui gave a guilty laugh. “We thought we owed you a nice one.”

Es’ shoulders sank. “No. You don’t owe me anything.”

“That’s good,” Amane said, “because Fuuta-san completely ruined your cake.”

“It’s going to taste fine! If you actually helped with the icing, maybe it wouldn’t look so bad…”

“I was busy making the chain.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Muu said. “We couldn’t surprise you with gifts, since you see our requests. But it was fun making decorations. We still don’t really know what you like, but we know you and Jackalope get along, so we thought you might like rabbits.”

They blinked. “Ah. Where is Jackalope?” There was no way he’d allow all this. After all, he was the one who specifically told them that a Warden of Milgram has no birthday, or age, or anything else to call their own. It was easier that way, he said. Es had agreed, at the time.

The others looked away nervously, but Yuno kept up her bright smile. “Kotoko’s cell. She never does party stuff like this, but I think she still wanted to help. She’s looking after him a bit.”

That sounded like a terrible idea. Es should go make sure he was still in one piece. Then again, what were a few more minutes to understand the situation…?

They eyed the cake. Though the decoration wasn’t the highest quality, there seemed to be a lot of work put into the dessert. “I thought you all were above petty bribery.”

“I told you they’d be a baby about it.” Fuuta crossed his arms. “No kid likes their birthday to be a big deal.”

Yuno flicked his ear. “Every kid likes that! You’re just the weird one.” Before he could complain, she turned the attention to the flickering candles. “Now, you should make your wish!”

“Mm-hm. Muu won’t eat it if it gets gross candle wax in it.”

The Warden shouldn’t sit around and share a cake with the prisoners under them.

Kazui said, “it has berries in the filling – your favorite. At least, I thought you mentioned something like that to Shidou-san.”

The Warden should recall information about the prisoners, not the other way around.

“How does that sound?”

“That sounds…”

The Warden shouldn’t have a birthday, to begin with.

They tried to get a hold of their trembling voice. “That sounds…” Their throat squeezed itself tight. The others’ eyes widened. They started to cry.

“Oh, Warden-kun!”

“I told you, you’ve been working too hard!”

“Here, let’s get you some cake.”

“It’s okay!”

Es wanted to demand everyone stop with the coddling and the childishness. They didn’t need all this fake concern. But they were outnumbered – too many arms pulled them in and patted their back to fend off. Amane used a sheet of paper to blow out the candles, cutting a slice early.

Es was ushered over to the couch. With all the bodies around them, it felt warmer here. The plate of desert landed right into their hands.

“I… I don’t understand,” they said at last. “It’s not even my birthday. And even if it was, none of us are getting any older. After everything… I mean… You know I don’t deserve this.”

They hung their head. Yuno let out a drawn-out sigh, and they waited for her to agree with them.

Instead, she nudged them playfully. “I know that everyone deserves something sweet on their birthday. And some company, no matter the homicidal status…” Es didn’t expect so many chuckles from the group. “And a wish.”

Amane reached over to place a half-melted candle into their slice. She lit it.

It was mere flattery, they reminded themself. These prisoners had no reason to care, other than to get on Es’ good side in hopes of skewing their verdicts. There was nothing special about it – anyone would do the same.

They looked at the gazes surrounding them. Their smiles weren’t forced. But how could anyone tell what was real, anymore? They curled their legs up under them.

Es closed their eyes, and made a wish.