#changed me. it changed it me and it lives in my head now. i dont remember the exact wording but that line. aughguh
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have you ever been in love? - choi seungcheol
warnings: none
pairings: choi seungcheol x reader
genre: friends to ???
wc: 900
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"have you ever been in love?" you ask, your eyes still fixated on the carefree clouds drifting lazily through the night sky, illuminated by the city lights.
seungcheol chuckles softly, the sound getting caught in the cool breeze that surrounds you both. he takes another sip of his beer, masking the way his heart races. how much more obvious could he be? are you really that oblivious?
"i suppose i have," he answers, his voice steady and calm even as his eyes can't help but trace the outline of your face, the way your features soften in the moonlight.
"what's it like?" you turn your head slightly, curiosity written in your expression. he's not sure how he should feel about your question.
seungcheol pauses, thinking about the feeling he’s harbored for you for so long. "it’s... terrifying and exhilarating at the same time," he says, a wistful smile playing at his lips. "it feels like wanting to be someone's everything, wanting to make them smile even when the world feels too heavy for myself. it’s being so scared of losing them that it’s all you think about. but at the same time, it makes everything brighter. love changes the way you see things, you know?"
you take a moment to process his words, letting them sink in, before you say quietly, “i guess..i dont know.”
“have you ever been in love?” he asks carefully, its a past tense question so it shouldnt hurt….right?
"i'm...not sure if i’ve ever been in love before.. but lately, i’ve started feeling things i’ve never felt before, and i wonder if it’s love. that's why im asking you.”
seungcheol’s heart stops, breaking a little at the thought of you loving someone else. his voice comes out smaller, almost vulnerable. "does what you’re feelin…m-match what i said?"
you think for a moment and then nod slowly. "yeah," you admit, a soft blush spreading across your cheeks.
his breath catches & he feels his stomach churning. this isn't a past tense situation, this is present tense, NOW. "who is it?" he asks as his voice trembles. the 4 years he's spent pinning over you seems to have made him timid tonight, he's not usually like this, but still, he braces himself for an answer that he knows will shatter him.
you hesitate, your eyes finding his, sparkling with adoration. "you," you whisper, your voice firm with sincerity.
seungcheol’s eyes widen, and for a moment, the world stills. and then, without thinking, he’s reaching for you, the biggest smile breaking out on his face. "me?" he repeats, as if he can’t quite believe it.
you nod, "you...you like me too right?"
"like?" seungcheol laughs, finding humour in your choice of words, his laugh holds a hint of disbelief, his eyes crinkling with pure joy. "like?" he repeats, his voice still colored with amusement. "i don't just like you," he confesses, his voice growing softer, more sincere. "i've been completely, ridiculously in love with you."
you feel your heart skip a beat, disbelief and hope swirling in your chest. "really?" you whisper, your voice small, almost afraid that this moment could shatter like a delicate glass figurine.
his gaze softens as he reaches for your hand, his warm fingers intertwining with yours. "really," he says, his thumb brushing over your knuckles.
"did you really not notice?" he asks, "i almost started to think you knew but just didnt have the heart to reject me."
your cheeks flushes as you think about all the little moments you'd noticed—the small ways he always seemed to look out for you, the way he'd remember the tiniest details about your life, and how his eyes would light up every time you entered a room. "i just... i always thought it was wishful thinking...like the time you carried extra snacks just because you knew i'd forget to eat, or when you'd always find an excuse to walk me home, even when you lived in the opposite direction. or how you’d get so quiet and protective whenever you thought someone was being unfair to me."
seungcheol's eyes widen with a mix of surprise and endearment, a fond smile spreading across his lips. "so you noticed all that?" he asks, his voice warm with a hint of embarrassment.
"i did," you say, a shy smile tugging at your lips. "but it just seemed too good to be true."
he pulls you a little closer, his eyes searching yours, filled with a mixture of adoration and relief. "it wasn’t too good to be true," he whispers, and then, with the most tender of touches, he leans in.
when his lips meet yours, it's everything and more. it's gentle, sweet, and filled with all the love that has been building between you two, unspoken but always there, waiting for the right moment.
when you finally pull away, you're both breathless, cheeks flushed. seungcheol's smile is still there, brighter than ever.
#seventeen#seventeen imagine#seventeen fluff#svt#svt fluff#svt x reader#svt angst#fanfic#seventeen x reader#seungcheol x reader#seungcheol seventeen#choi seungcheol seventeen#seventeen seungcheol#seventeen choi seungcheol#choi seungcheol x reader#seungcheol fluff#seungcheol angst#seungcheol fanfic#seungcheol imagine#choi seungcheol fluff#choi seungcheol angst#choi seungcheol fanfic#choi seungcheol imagine#scoups#scoups seventeen#seventeen scoups#scoups x reader#scoups fluff#scoups angst#scoups imagine
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mtt therapy moment except dust keeps taking breaks to talk to phantom papyrus and horror just wants this to hurry up so it can get to his turn because he couldn't give two shits about dust and killer's trauma and killer physically cannot discuss his issues and just starts zoning out while crying for some reason during it
and i'm the therapist listening to all of this writing down notes fervently because ITS CANON MATERIAL CANON I NEED TO GET THE CANON MATERIAL
#i have to break apart like 34 potential fights with my otherdimensional godly creator powers#i would be an ass therapist i will not lie. infact i would make them worse with my knowledge of their lives. never put me in a room w them#OH MY GOD I JUST REVISTED THIS IDEA AFTER LEAVING IT TO COLLECT DUST (hehehe) IN MY DRAFYS FOR A MONTH#ANS TJIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY HELP 😭😭😭😭😭 HELP😭😭😭😭😭😭#still real tho highkey i havent changed 1 bit. ITS CANON OMG WRITE THSY DOWN WHAY WERE THE EXACT REACTIONS#ive got these guys wearing microphones i got cameras in the room i got advanced psychologists watching to explain every detail#is it a therapy session or just a badly disguised interview#nooo nooo its therapy......DONT LEAVS!!!! (activates the chains (that coincidentally all are connected to eachother) (heheheheh))#now youCANT leave😈😈😈😈😈 not until im done asking my questions ASSHOLES. dont question the handcuffs that keep you guys together please#actually id probably get like nothing out of them because theyre all repressed and defensive and whatever. BUT im simply more determined so#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#fandom event if the mtt ever became real. we're all lining up to the facility to ask one question#world's hardest challenge: if you could ask the murder time trio one thing what would it be#FUCK idk...... id simply hav too many questions!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!#triglycercule do your homework SHUT UO RESPONSIBLE VOICE IN MY HEAD!!!! I WONT!!!!! NOT UNTIL THIS IS DONE#fall headcanons for the trio when. i'll think of them once i'm done with homework#see a reward system! now i have a thought that i dont wanna say in tags this will be going to the side blog#anyways! i think that's enough drafts undrafted and posted i REALLY need to do my homework#i dont even have that much it's literally 2 assignments but i know damn well doing 1 of them is gonna bring me to dream and nightmare's age#sigh......... i hate school bring me back to summer break i wasSO productive. SMH
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realizing that for the first time ever being w my bf has given me the chance to actually just , kinda be myself without it feeling So wrong. like i am a nervous lil freak n me not being anything else is somehow ok. and not just used as a joke or like yeah thats the freak dont talk to them dont worry about them like my friends irl always did w me. even my therapist likes to ignore core parts of me, whenever i try to bring it up she always shuts me down with the "im sorry u feel that way" and changes the subject. and like i still want to be better n i still have support for changing n growing but it's like for the first time i can actually plant myself down in the ground instead of stretch myself thin trying to fit into everything im not. so maybe i do have a chance. maybe this is where i was always going wrong maybe this is what i could never reach
#being able to talk n it come naturally n not be scolded or punished has truly changed me#ive never been able to be comfortable w anyone ive always had to plan every word i say w such intensity most of the time everyone would hav#moved on by the time i was ready#but i can actually just Speak#i can just let it go w/o thinking#without scolding myself#without spending every moment deep in daydreams of what i should be#and then getting so disappointed when i dont live up to them in the moment#because that isnt me#no matter how many times i watch it over in my head it isnt real n i have 2 be ok w that#at least for now#unless i have something to actually build upon i will always just fall back down to my quiet terrified self#for the first time ever in my life im allowed 2 b the autistic lil freak i am and treated w full love#not like a nuisance everyone is forced to deal with and ashamed of#& that is fucking wild 2 me i am still not used to it#but i am so thankful#n i will cry 10000 days for it#i love my bf so much for everything they are on their own but also how they treat me#every bit of love they give me is tripled n shared back
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i may be the stupidest person alive
so im afraid of bugs right. and there was a HUGE bug in my apt today and i freaked out and spent like 5 minutes trying to get it out. and after i got it out i thought it might be a hornet so i googled pictures of hornets to compare. but what i didnt consider was that a close-up picture of a hornet would scare the shit out of me. so i pull up the picture and freak out again and threw my phone across the room instinctively. so i gave up on finding out what kind of bug it was and started doing something else. THEN 10 minutes later i open my phone to find out i never actually closed the picture of the hornet so i got scared AGAIN and throw my phone again. and i just realized that when i threw my phone i still didnt close the picture so ive been scared to open it again bc i dont wanna see it
#this story actually omits the fact that the bug got in TWICE#i dont even know where it came from#i woke up this morning and it was buzzing around the living room#so i get it out. then a couple hours later im sitting on the couch and it suddenly just fucking appears right next to my head#and it was HUGE. like 2 inches long#and it FLEW#big spiders scare the shit out of me and they cant even fly. this motherfucker is terrorizing me#i got it out through the front door both times#and like 10 minutes after the second time i see it AGAIN. flying into the door trying to get back in#anyways ive now changed clothes and tied my hair back bc every time something brushes against my skin i think its the bug and i scream
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You give me a self absorbed arrogant smartass and expect me not to like him? Well my friend you are very wrong.
Please please listen to @roguespodcast i beg you
Edit: The Companion Jonathan portrait
#station art#codotverse#edward nygma#rogues podcast#rogues! the podcast#the riddler#this man has been living rent free in my head for three days now and i need to start charging if he stays any longer#dont mind me throwing my little flairs onto his design i couldnt help myself#the way i draw his hair may change im not super satisfied with this version#jon will get a portrait too at some point because he wont leave my brain as well
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had the most braindead repetitive conversation/argument with my parents. buzz cuts are too masculine but if you dye a design on it it become effeminate which is bad because then you look weak and if youre weak then society falls apart (all societies ever that have fallen apart for any reason are actually because of feminine men) and we start sacrificing babies. and also all mental illness is invented because only 4 people had anxiety in the 90s and covid was made up so that we would all become gay and trans and then the government can control us better and be joe biden's little sex slaves. and also i need to keep my hair long because my father finds it attractive. what
#lolaa.txt#what do i even tag this with . my mother wouldn't let me leave and i kept asking for sources and she kept saying 'i'm your mother!!!'#'i wouldnt lie to you!'#okay. say that to someone maybe who doesnt know you lie to them all the time.#its tiring going around in circles with her.my father is better because at least he admits when he doesnt have a reason for feeling some wa#also what got me. she said 'do you own research if you want!! but im right!!!'#yeahh not seeing anything about anything you just said. i think you made that up.#i have a theory that my mother secretly hates herself because she believes all women are weak and must serve strong men#and my father has so so much trauma and anxiety that he cant be that strong man#so now she feels like shes betraying her very biology when she has to step up.#and also because i am stronger than her now and my hair is long and far far denser than hers and i have a younger face#that she feels that im wasting my precious femininity that she could be using. does that make sense.#shes so miserable trapped in her idea of what makes a man and a woman what they are. once you stop caring about what makes someone somethin#you dont have to worry about anyone else.#im queer because i dont really feel that connection to biological and social ideas of gender that my parents seem to#never really have#im not gonna theorize 'ohh shed be happier nonbinary' or stuff like that because it is up to you and you alone to define who you are#if you spend your whole life trying to fit a box for the sake of fitting the box#then when would you have any space for self discovery#youve invented personality traits to go along with your box. now you can never ever change or grow as a person. congrats#and you know what? one day she will die. and that will be the end of that.#and i will live and i will probably shave my head a thousand times. and come up with new names#and new ways to be a better person that makes me feel happy#and i will dress like a boy because its all made up anyways. who cares.#and if you care? that much about what im wearing or how i look?#then thats your problem and i wont be responsible to maintain your happiness.#SORRY RANT OVER.#im just so flabbergasted. what a sad life someone can lead poisoned by jealously and reactive rhetoric.#tw homophobia#tw transphobes
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I wish my brain would let me play video games again without a care
Now I'm like "no I can't bc I'm wasting my precious free time. I can't reason using my day off to play video games when I could be using that time to do literally anything else" like fucking come on
#marquilla#and i work part time! so i theoretically have a shitload of time to do this but i dont think I've even turned on any of my games since i#started working like i used to spend my nights playing animal crossing until the early morning hours and now im like noo i cant sorry#same with watching tv series like no sorry i have to watch the same two channels every day bc they keep me on track time wise#like oh medium is on? it's 11am. oh bbc world news tonight is on? it's 7:30pm LIKE BITCH YOU CAN ENJOY THINGS YOU DONT NEED TO BE#ON A SCHEDULE ALL THE TIME#one time my mom changed the channel on the living room tv (it's been on one channel 24/7 for years bc it's the one channel we can agree on#and we need the background noise) and when i was getting ready for work i was thrown off so bad bc the good wife wasnt on and thats whats on#when i put my shoes on for work and i was like ????? as soon as i got home i changed the channel back ahhdhdgd i was like nope i need it#but yknow def not autistic. nope not me. gotta be something else#im trying so hard to break my routine hence going to The movies and shit bc hey im watching something new! i AM somewhere different. i am#DOING something else. but it's so hard to get my head to be okay with even this minor change#AUGH
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. anyway after writing the tags 4 this post i told my research partner i will no longer follow his dreams lmao. still helping w it but i need to engage in research that i find satisfying
#i think ive been waiting for something for a while and i will spend the next year waiting for it too#i thought i felt panic but i have decided to read it as anticipation. the thrill of rejection or of moving forward or the latter as#a result of the former. i left you with your backpack unattended in the cafe because on fridays i am done#putting my life on hold for another whim-without-a-warning#this cross country service is delayed by 26 minutes so i will grab a bucket and start shovelling the water away from the tracks#everyone is moving on in some different way and im sorry if you think im mean for telling you getting so drunk will disable you from#recording your brainwaves effectively but it seems like you think i owe you an awful lot. one year ago in four days my friend got me hegel's#science of logic for my birthday and i thanked him for proving to me the existence of things this is what i do he said#and then he will spend the rest of his life breathing philosophy and i dont want to spend the rest of my life#breathing someone elses dreams i wait for the moment of realisation. this is now a 30 minute delay. i was supposed to worship beautiful#things and that is what i will do. i think i have a best friend and i know i have a lover and i know to#restrict my love the way you have. im sorry. i hope you understand when i tell you. i am now sitting on the floor in the luggage section of#this incredibly busy train and i saw a photo of her with her boyfriend and her hair in braids smiling like a fool this is the#except a week ago you told me you almost took too much this time to live. you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful soul and you know you#have already changed the world and it somehow was not enough. now you are smiling without any makeup on next to him#and yesterday you cried in an airport in the states when you were too full of love. this is the most extraordinary human being i have met.#tomorrow he heads off to princeton while his best friend heads to harvard. he goes there to make the world a better place. he is the most#extraordinary person i have ever met. the issue with human beings is that we are incredibly good at almost dying and keeping going.#you try to kill yourself and publish a paper and give a talk. you negotiate the seperation between your own parents and submit another#phd application. i am surrounded by extraordinary people with extraordinary minds and incredibly broken happy hearts.#i only see you smile when you talk about robotics. i still dont know how manifolds work and i love the concept anyway. i dont know.#i do know that i refuse to live unsatisfied.#you can keep drinking. im going to drink this reality up#i think i was a horrible person and i refuse to engage with that mentality again no matter what it takes.
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I LOVE THIS FUCKIJG FILM SO MUCH EVERYTHING ABOUT IT IS PERFECT
#the casting is so good its oerfect they all do such good jobs iCAAAANNTT#roman and zsasz do SO WELL they creep me OUT its so GOOOOODODODO#“fuck fsmily! all due respect but fuck that!!!” all his. tantrums? how else would i word thst idk so. and like from the little bits we see#we learn so much about them. like idk shit avout them sorrt im a poser. but FUCKKXKCK its just so good#obviously margot robbie does incredibly. and cassandras actress! i know people have said they sorta dilute her character down which IS sad#esp bc i dont know anything about her either. but fuck#and the way it depicts gotham!!!!!!!!!! ive talked about this alot before and god its always sssoooooo#ITS JUST ALL SO GOOD. the humor THE WARDROBE. once again the causal lgbt rep. all the sexism stuff.#its just perfect its genuinely perfect#AGRGRHFHSJ I LOVE THIS FILM.#birds of prey#AND JUST THE WAY EVERYONE TALKS AND THE DELIVERY OF EVERYTHING. I DONT KNOW ITS JUST ALL. PERFECT.#also another mention to roman and zsasz. they do it SO. WELL. the changes in zsaszs voice AND JUST HIS GENERAL ATTITUDE. sionis and how wel#his actor does the quick switches. and again the delivery of ALL his lines. also special mention to his little spin at his first scene.#ALSO HIS AND ZSASZS LAUGHS ohmyod#and montoya does it all so well and inlove her voice and same with canary and i cant say much on them because its ALL so good that i cant#pinpoint it??????#ALSO THE HAIR TIE SCENE 💘💘💘💘💘#also forever thinking of roman and his thing with how people pronounce words. actually im sorta just always thinking about him and zsasz#zsaszmask hoffstrahm and now hannigram all live in my head. and another ship i wont say incase noah sees this. OH AND SUKEVE.#another mention to the soundtrack. oh. my. god.#another mention to how it depicts gotham. like you just see people living. in the daytime. hanging out living rhwir lives. and you see smal#businesses and a supermarket and a club and the graffiti and just somuch of the film being. in. the daytime. AND THE SKATING DERBY!#GOD i love this film so so so much can you tell#also why is all the content of my posts only ever in the tags. like okaaayy sure.#DINAHS SIDE EYE AT ROMAN AND ZSASZ WHEN THEYRE BEING EXTRA GAY I CANT DO THIS#am i gonna go and look at loads of zsaszmask content now. yes. dont judge.#also anti-big establishments moment (her robbing the store) and her promising to get sal the 75 cents. support small businesses#also bruce wayne mention theyrr always so funny#rain rambles
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i wear a lot of skirts and pink and whatnot as my style has developed with me & my personality but when one of those age regression girlies latch onto me....i do not like that
#like oh....you think im one of them...bestie no im freshly 23 and im happy i made it this far i dont wanna go back#sometimes i hate being 5'2 with a small frame you have to be very careful and kinda vet everyone you interact with#idk there's a complex discussion to be had. i am someone who has went through what they fetishize and i know a lot of girls in that#community have too. so i worry a lot if if my behaviors and preferences accidentally align with that community in ways i don't realize#bc trauma will always reveal itself. idfk. when i was 20 i got in a relationship with a man who was 30 because i misheard him and thought#he was 24. i thought he was okay until we were at this giftshop and he wanted to get me something but as giftshops are super expensive#i mentioned i could fit in childrens clothes and it saves me a lot of money ($60 shoes are $30 for kids) and tbh fit my frame better#so he was “prove it” so i did and mf said “THATS HOT” ??????????? BITCH#my style wasn't even feminine in the slightest at the time 😑 it feels like a curse to have this kind of trauma then never outgrow this body#believe me ik how trauma changes your brain but how#as a woman#can you ever be apart of that community? why do you allow this to continue and not persecute these men for existing?#you're inherently enabling it and saying its okay this happened to you and its okay that other adults can hurt other kids#when my rapist got put in prison i screamed i yelled i sang i danced my friends set off FIREWORKS for me#when he got out i cried more than i ever have. i moved STATES (not the sole rzn but nonetheless) not that i was in the one he was in prison#in anyways but i was so fucking petrified he'd find me again. its embarrassing but i started sleeping with a chastity belt again.#i made more phone calls i ever have in my life to people who have and will get their hands dirty#i understand the self hatred those girls have. i understand the girls who sleep with everyone to take some of their power back.#i even understand the girls who want to get raped if they got assaulted but it never felt like enough for the pain they're experiencing#but please stay the fuck away from me. as someone who has tried to heal and wants every man like that erased from earth.#do not give them an ounce of attention. ostracize them like they're meant to be. leave it to god for their karma they will be dealt with#reckon with your pain and make sure it never happens to anyone else. only the harmed can make the greatest teachers#tbh bro i am disgusted with myself at all that those are the kinda vibes i put out.#what are you supposed to do as a woman when feminity is equalized with infantilism? i think its tone deaf and misguided whem girls are like#i dress this way to contradict societies views!!! babes its a whole cultural issue that requires reviewing and reforming#you are not doing anything revolutionary by wearing frilly skirts and saying im not like them bc they see you and ur automatically boxed in#i dress how i want and say what i want but i know as a individual im not the beacon of a groundbreaking movement#singularily flipping society on its head. dress how you want but be aware of the connotations. you're living in this society here and now#there's consequences that may not be in your favor and youll be assumed to have values that dont align with you and it may break your heart
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thinking about the unforgiving nature of the passage of time
#just realized that i've probably rocked my baby boy to sleep for the last time without realizing jt#he's three right now and so fucking big#when did he get so big?#everytime i used to watch him when he was a baby i'd put the same lullaby on and rock him to sleep#he'd tuck his little head against my neck and i'd just rock him#tonight i picked him up and he had a growth spurt so he doesn't quite fit the way he used to#but he still cuddled close and hugged me tight while i rocked him#had to put him down and tuck him in so he could actually sleep comfortably though#long gone are the days where he'd drift off comfortably on me then i'd go around cleaning things up while holding him in one hand#god#i dont miss the person i used to be#i'm glad for the time passing for that much#i've learned to stop drowning in the waves of grief#learned how to cup it before it can grow. to say 'i know this hurts and i'm sorry it does. let's sit in it together.'#learned how to mourn without swandiving into a lake of self pity#but for all i've changed in the past few years so has everyone else#the kids have grown up. all of them were so little and are now at such different stages of their little lives#and i'm grateful to be a part of their story but damn it's so bittersweet#anyways i'm rambling and probably incoherent i'm just overly emotional about this
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why is horror almost ALWAYS sweating bro this man must be a straight up water faucet with how much sweat he has in every horrortale panel. however it is for this reason that i think he has hyperhidrosis. hello my name is triglycercule and in this essay i will explain
#because he deserves to have to deal with sweaty hands 24/7#oh i KNOW it is annoying as hell to live in SNOWdin and then be sweating ALL THE DAMN TIME#me when i have my fan blasting at me but my hands are still wet#i cant be bothered to research more than hyperhidrosis can be caused by nervous system disorders#and nervous system disorders can be caused by damage to the brain/spinal cord. and guess who has a giant hole in his head#bro are you crying??? no its just my excessive sweat says horror#and then he just feels colder with the sweat and snowdin wind and then horror starts shivering all the time#shaky hands!!! sweaty hands!!!!!! permanently bloodstained hands!!!!! how else can i make horror hate his hands#he cannot pick up anything at all bro. not even open a doorhandle#in times like those its a goddamn shame horror cant sustain his blue magic#because he would be overusing the shit out of it if he did have it#when horror wants to cause a minor irritation to dust and killer he just rubs his hands all over them#because i do it#its SO disgusting imagine having someone's sweat all over your arm. yeah no#he replaced the whoopie cusion handshake for a drill so he wouldn't have to explain his sweaty hands 😭😭😭😭😭😭#a human got away from horror because they LITERALLY slipped out of his sweaty hands#i know bro was furious. it was comedically easy for them the escape#from that day forward he began wearing gloves. now he has to deal with changing them all the time#first reason you know someone read the horrortale comic: they draw horror with his sweat#i dont even have hyperhidrosis i just get so pissed when my hands start sweating so much. so horror has to deal with it too#i woke up this morning. fan on. full blast. sweaty hands. sweaty feet. immediately decide to cast my rage onto horror#not even 10 am and my hands are still wet even after i washed them someone slice my limbs off#tricule hc#horror sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#sans au#utmv
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hello!!!! he is here (in his rain boots) to offer a distraction! lol
whats the format you prefer w snz stuff?? (like a fic, wav, video, etc!)
in his rain boots!!! ToT I love him omg so precious~ thank you for sending in the ask!!
For making myself, or consuming content?
Content Consuming Wise, I love art, wav, and fics, buuuut I think I may lean towards fics..? Still love the others, but I find in general that fics are easier content to consume for me, but still provide a full experience?? Idk man maybe it's just that I read a fic today that changed my brain chemistry (shout out to bestwhumpist) but im just. Fics. Agughghh~ (though a good wav is still ~chefs kiss~)
Making Myself, honestly I enjoy making most forms of content! But recently I've been having a lot more writing burn out, so wav making has kinda been something I enjoy more~ even though I'm still not that good and it takes me forever hahaha~ But I'll always remember my roots with fics, I've always enjoyed writing!
#waterfallasks#thank you for sending this innnn <3#i wasnt sure which you meant so i went with answering both options#hope that's alright!!! but yeah i find im more selective with wavs then fics honestly#and uh... maybe a bit of a controversial take but- i dont tend to actually like videos!#like its generally i find ones i DO like and thats surprising rather than finding ones i DONT#assume dislike until proven otherwise type of deal i guess!~#BUT ALSO IN THESE TAGS SHOUTING OUT BESTWHUMPIST AGAIN FOR THAT T/RIGUN MASTERPIEC#ive said this to her but the line about “give me a real one this time” or whatever it was#changed me. it changed it me and it lives in my head now. i dont remember the exact wording but that line. aughguh
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(visibly sobbing and sniffling as i try so very hard to make the obnoxious watermark look like it could be part of the composition even though it has to be big enough for DO NOT REDISTRIBUTE AND/OR MODIFY to be readable) im a brave soldier
#spud.txt#if you dont draw let me show you a little taste of how its like to Post Art Oline#i dont post little doodles as much anymore bc the whole hassle of having to protect my art from people who have no respect for artists#gets in my head#and now i cant even calm myself down with 'im not big enough for people to want to steal my art' 'this is oc art nobody will steal it'#bc now AI can reach places people wouldn't#and i know its futile i know one lone artist with like. 200 followers resisting isnt gonna change anything!!#but it still doesnt feel good posting my art without doing Something to protect it!!!!#also i really dont like that art theft in my head is another measure for my worth as an artist but :'D lets not go there#sometimes i sit down and think about how people have made it so difficult and painful for to share their work online#like just make enrich other people's lives with their work just being there#it just makes me want to cry#and i dont even get paid more than 20 bucks a month!!!!!
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Damn I love my wife so much it might kill me
#dude when i have NOTHING#i never have nothing#because i always have T#she makes my life SO wonderful#and dont get me wrong; my wife is a goblin who i have actively had to teach how to love over the years 🤣#but shes perfect. everything about her i wouldnt change a hair on her head#also turns out i have a body worship kink and thats perfect for a girl who needs SO much love#only took me a decade and a half to figure that out 🤣#bro we've been together ALMOST 12 YEARS NOW#and been friends for 14 🤣❤️❤️❤️#fuck. its so hard to live yunno?#like weve both got ptsd and we've worked our way through so much bullshit#abuse the death of her father being outed at the funeral#running from wv together to start a new life in the city#yunno she wrote her vows months before. i couldnt. i knew no matter what i tried to say it wouldnt be enough#not until i was there. i didnt know i could love her more everyday but i do#yunno as a kid i told myself no one could ever love me#but i ended up marrying my high school sweetheart?#she left a boy for me 🤣#and that doesnt EVEN MATTER ANYMORE ITS BEEN A DECADE#sigh. im in a mood#just dropped her off at work and cuddled in the car shamelessly#its hard to even be away from her for 8 hours#and the craziest thing about it? she feels thw same way about me 🤣#ive been so sick for over a year now#but T's always there. even when she cant be there she is. and i feel that#last night as we were going to bed#i remembered something horrific#she needed to get up early... but she still talked me down for an hour until i fell asleep in her arms#i. am so fucking lucky
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i feel like more people need to realize we are all share the same sky and none of us are truly ever alone
#sorry im just htinking about how happy i am how better i am how i take showers now and have friends how I'm nice to my dad and I'm able to#hug him but still talk to my mother i have food and water and blankets i have friends and i am loved changes are scary and I'm still scared#but i remember how happy i am how younger me or even me from a week or month ago or years ago would be proud and still root for me to live#one day ill have a house of my own a life of my own memories to share and love but new ones to experience and in all of them i was never#alone i always had someone to love me and live for i always had a purpose I've had one since i was born which was to be my sisters friend a#and be someone to lean on and i still uphold that i try to support everyone i can since i know how hard it is to not be at the worst times#i hug and tell everyone i love them 24/7 i tell everyone they are amazing since i never know when ill look back on this all and regret not#saying it everytime i hug my dad and he says calm down kylie i always say you'll miss this in 10 years as a joke but i think about it so mu#so much i dont know if ill know any of you in 10 years but I'm happy to be talking to you now I'm happy to know that there's people out the#there who are kind and have fun thoughts who makea fun silly art and chat with me and care about me and try to help me and ill never see yo#why do i have a voice in my head and think about t you all the time when i don't even know you? its crazy but i love it so much you all ha#have watched me grow and change watch me get older and my hair grow longer watch me be happy and i think about that how i might be in your#brain or memories at one point how i have a impact just like how everyone has an impact on me what I'm saying is that no one is ever truly#alone everyone is filled with love and memories to share everyone has a different view on the world and no one truly has the same and i thi#think thats just so special and i get to see it! i get to talk to people everyday and listen and learn and its so special
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