#it was then I knew I was addicted
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astroprojectology · 10 months ago
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I found a neurodivergent enby hairstylist who is actually amazing and the salon is really chill, I love going there in the mornings when it's more quiet. I don't mind the small talk with my stylist but I wish they would unmask a bit bc the customer service mode erks my autism a little. But that's a me problem. It can be a tad loud if it's busy there, but I feel safe and cared for.
I love the feeling of the razor on my scalp getting my fade trimmed, and the fingers massaging my scalp and the feel of the warm soapy water as they wash my hair. I love the feeling of my head becoming lighter as the shape of my hairstyle is sculpted, and the feeling of the air around me brushing against my newly exposed scalp.
I used to cut my hair myself but taking the plunge to find a stylist and style that I love has been super worth it. It's relaxing, and I never have to worry about my hair getting messed up because it always comes out better than perfect.
If you’d like you can also say in the tags if you’re neurodivergent or not
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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demaparbat-hp · 4 months ago
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Smooch
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kindnessoverperfection · 1 year ago
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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mattiebluebird · 2 months ago
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Honestly I feel like if Fiddleford fell into the portal instead of Ford, the whole plot of Gravity Falls would've been wrapped up decades sooner.
People forget that Ford needed Fiddleford's help to build that portal. Even with 12 PhDs and a god of knowledge whispering in his ears, Ford couldn't figure it out! And though FF is physically weaker than Ford, he's not exactly useless in a fight; he gets Ford out of trouble numerous times in Journal 3 & TBOB.
Ford traveled the multiverse for over 30 years looking for a way to kill Bill, and it's ultimately still Fiddleford (or rather a happier, healthier version of him) that helped finish the quantum destabilizer. In fact, Fiddleford made not one, not two, but three deadly weapons that were used against Bill, including the one that ultimately ended him (the quantum destabilizer, mystery shackatron, & the memory gun).
...so yeah, he would've been back home in time for dinner.
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rottengurlz · 7 months ago
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leona and her soon to be dead husband
before!!!!
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pokeberry5 · 22 days ago
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Inktober request!! Batfamily member of ur choice dressed as if they’re in a noir detective setting?
um. this ended up not being in ink bc my brain got very carried away
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i was thinking about helena as a noir detective and then i was thinking about huntress '89 if helena became a noir type private eye instead of a vigilante and then.
sometimes you gotta do things for the girl you used to be.
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benevolenterrancy · 2 months ago
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what I'm learning is that MXTX series really have ☆*: .。The Range。.:*☆ and that my first impressions often don't survive for very long...
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MDZS, initial impression: ooh revived necromancer that everyone fears, this is going to be dark and revenge-fuelled
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MDZS, subsequent impression: these are Silly Lil Guys off on a romcom murder mystery
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SVSSS first impression: nerd who got isekai'd into a shitty novel, crybaby puppy dog imprints on him
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SVSSS subsequent impression: how many times now has the love interest tortured the main character? should I start a tally?
(i've only just finished SVSSS bk2, please no spoilers!!)
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borathae · 1 year ago
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idk if anyone else noticed but they've finally stopped putting concealer on Yoongi’s upper lip and istfg I don’t know how to handle myself these days
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bunnieswithknives · 3 months ago
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YO I LOVED YOUR ANIMATIC ON YOUTUBE
Also, are you on the "Peri's a bit more magically powerful but suppresses it bandwagon"? Because I noticed that Wanda and Cosmo have regular human ears while Peri doesn't.
Eneways Have a Good Day!!
YOU KNOW WHAT I actually hadn't heard that headcanon yet when I made the animatic but the more I think about it the more in love I am with the idea.
I would be so ironically tragic if part of Peri struggling so much to look human was a direct result of how powerful his magic is and having to suppress it ♥
POV the one thing you want most in the world ia specifically unavailable to you and you only because of something many would call a gift
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ninyard · 2 months ago
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Do you have any ideas for who the Minyards’ dad is?
Tetsuji- [gunshots]
- option one: Tilda had a one night stand with some dude that was simply not an option to be a father. She wouldn’t have wanted him to be a father anyway, she didn’t even think about it once. she never told him and never would have.
- option two: Maybe she didn’t even know which of the one night stands it was, a handful of too many hookups too close together to tell.
- option three and three-and-a-half: it was her long-term on-again off-again boyfriend who was an enabler and just an all-round not very pleasant person. she either told him, he wanted nothing to do with them, and left her alone, or she never told him, and she practically disappeared out of his life, because she knew he wouldn't be able for a child (let alone two)
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tategaminu · 3 months ago
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The "It was always her" makes the concept about Barius' niece having a crush on him even funnier because imagine any girl crushing on him just wanting to start a conversation and he just goes:
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visenyaism · 7 months ago
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thomas cromwell has something to do with religion??????????????
he is as it turns out literally one of the more significant figures in the English reformation. in being like the #1 fixer guy facilitating the divorce between Katherine and Henry and getting Anne Boleyn to be the queen he was like. super involved extremely involved in the invention of the church of England and british protestantism. in the book at least he’s very much a protestant on the low like he’s smuggling in secret Lutheran texts for himself to read and is deeply skeptical of Catholic liturgical institutions like saints, indulgences, and purgatory. unfortunately he was so addicted to the hustle that he invented british protestantism as a side effect. 
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friendly-neighborhood-furry · 7 months ago
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RESULTS FROM ROUND TWO!!!
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this edition's contributors:
@h0dge-p0dge @wreckrinho @glitchadeli @atomicpirateperson @alkyuz @retrobluecat @larryzstars
by the way: if you contributed to this session, you're absolutely allowed to repost your art separately to your own blog or any other platform you post on! i only ask that if you share a whole canvas that you credit everybody mentioned above (including me, although my contributions this time around are negligible).
man this was so fun!! i loved getting to hang out and joke around with everybody. also somebody (i think it was h0dge-p0dge?) suggested we all play Gartic Phone together which i am SO on board with-
buuuuut i'm definitely gonna be taking break from stuff like this for a while > <"
nobody's fault! i'm just a bit burnt out and also i'm gonna be pretty swamped for the next few weeks/months. prom is next saturday, the musical i'm gonna be doing spotlights for is starting the week after that, and both my birthday AND graduation will be happening in May. in other words, pray for me 💀
if anyone else wants to take a turn organizing another event like this, go right on ahead! i think its so wonderful that we have this little community on here and getting to see everybody having fun together warms my cold, gamer heart. so go have fun and keep being kind to each other.
that is all! i am going to bed now :)
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cloudbells · 11 months ago
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One thing about me, Imma cry at the end of CATFA when Steve stands in the middle of the streets surrounded by all the billboards, ads, cars, ect because that must be SO fucking confusing and jarring :( I'm crying rn even though I tried not to, but I feel so bad for Steve ☹
And the last lines of this movie being "I had a date" TALK ABOUT DEPRESSING!!!
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utilitycaster · 3 months ago
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For two totally different reasons though both obviously musical I'm thinking about two musicians who were in the punk/alt scene and write (semi) quiet indie songs now and I wonder if that's Ashton's future or if not, what it will be.
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