#it was then I knew I was addicted
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I found a neurodivergent enby hairstylist who is actually amazing and the salon is really chill, I love going there in the mornings when it's more quiet. I don't mind the small talk with my stylist but I wish they would unmask a bit bc the customer service mode erks my autism a little. But that's a me problem. It can be a tad loud if it's busy there, but I feel safe and cared for.
I love the feeling of the razor on my scalp getting my fade trimmed, and the fingers massaging my scalp and the feel of the warm soapy water as they wash my hair. I love the feeling of my head becoming lighter as the shape of my hairstyle is sculpted, and the feeling of the air around me brushing against my newly exposed scalp.
I used to cut my hair myself but taking the plunge to find a stylist and style that I love has been super worth it. It's relaxing, and I never have to worry about my hair getting messed up because it always comes out better than perfect.
If you’d like you can also say in the tags if you’re neurodivergent or not
#I looked up queer friendly salons near me and found a reddit post in my city subreddit with suggestions#a couple redditors recommended this one salon/stylist so I followed them on IG#I actually got my first haircut free#my stylist was offering free cuts to two people willing to model for a teaching demonstration#they were offering specific hairstyles needed for the demonstration#just so happens it was the kind of hairstyle I was looking for#all the other hairstylists who were there for the lesson were so sweet and hyped me up about my drastic new cut#it was really nice hearing my stylist explain every part of their process as they cut my hair#it really soothed my anxiety#it's amazing to see them cut hair#like watching a sculptor chip away at marble#pure art#it was then I knew I was addicted
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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Smooch
#zutara#atla#zuko#avatar the last airbender#katara#atla fanart#atla art#katara of the southern water tribe#prince zuko#zuko fanart#atla zuko#katara art#katara fanart#zuko art#atla katara#zutara fanart#zutara art#zuko x katara#katara x zuko#I did it anon :D#I made them smooch#I feel like I have lifted a weight off of my shoulders lol#They kiss in one of my artworks! Officially! Finally!!!#They're sweet and wholesome and ridiculously head over heels for each other#That being said I have a question for you guys!#If you could define each of my AUs as a kiss (example: Lee & Kya as a forehead kiss; Hunters as a shoulder kiss etc)#Then which kiss would each AU be?#I'm asking for...uh...research purposes...#Also because I just drew them kissing and realized that maybe the reason I hadn't done it before was because I KNEW I'd get addicted#so there's that
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Please, if you can, take a moment to read and share this because I feel like I'm screaming underwater.
NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) stigma is rampant right now, and seems to be getting progressively worse. Everyone is using it as a buzzword in the worst ways possible, spreading misinformation and hatred against a real disorder.
I could go on a long time about how this happened, why it's factually incorrect (and what the disorder actually IS), why it's harmful, and the changes I'd like to see. But to keep this concise, I'll simply link to a few posts under the cut for further reading.
The point of this post is a plea. Please help stop the spread of stigma. Even in mental health communities, even around others with personality disorders, in neurodivergent "safe" spaces, other communities I thought people would be supportive in (e.g. trans support groups, progressive spaces in general), it keeps coming up. So I'm willing to bet that a lot of people on this site need to see this.
Because it's so hard to exist in this world.
My disorder already makes me feel as if I'm worthless and unlovable, like there's something inherently wrong and damaged about me. And it's so much harder to fight that and heal when my daily life consists of:
Laughing and spending time with my friends, doing my utmost best to connect and stay present and focused on them, trying to let my guards down and be real and believe I'm lovable- when suddenly they throw out the word "narcissist" to describe horrible people or someone they hate, or the conversation turns to how evil "people with narcissistic personality disorder" are. (Seriously, you don't know which of your friends might have NPD and feels like shit when you say those things & now knows that you'd hate them if you knew.)
Trying to look up "mental health positivity for people with npd", "mental health positivity cluster bs", only to find a) none of that, and b) more of the same old vile shit that makes me feel terrible about myself.
Having a hard time (which is constant at this point) and trying to look up resources for myself, only to again, find the same stigma. And no resources.
Not having any clue how to help myself, because even the mental health field is spitting so much vitriol at people with DISORDERS (who they're supposed to be helping!) that there's no solid research or therapy programs for people like me.
Losing close friends when they find out, despite us having had a good relationship before, and them KNOWING me and knowing that I'm not like the trending image of pwNPD. Because now they only see me through the lens of stigma and misinformation.
Hearing the same stigma come up literally wherever I go. Clubs. Meetings. Any online space. At the bus stop. At the mall. At a restaurant. At work. Buzzword of the year that everyone loooves loudly throwing around with their friends or over the phone. Feels awesome for me, makes my day so much better/s
I could go on for a long time, but I'm scared no one will read/rb this if it gets too much longer.
So please. Stop using the word "narcissist" as a synonym for "abusive".
Stop bringing up people you hate who you believe to have NPD because of a stigmatizing article full of misinformation whenever someone with actual NPD opens their mouth. (Imagine if people did that with any other disorder! "Hey, I'm autistic." "Oh... my old roommate screamed at me whenever I made noise around him, and didn't understand my needs, which seems like sensory overload and difficulty with social cues. He was definitely autistic. But as long as you're self-aware and always restraining your innate desire to be an abusive asshole, you're okay I guess, maybe." ...See how offensive and ignorant that is?)
Stop preventing healthcare for people with a disorder just because it's trendy to use us as a scapegoat.
If you got this far, thank you for reading, and please share this if you can. Further reading is under the cut.
NPD Criteria, re-written by someone who actually has NPD
Stigma in the DSM
Common perception of the DSM criteria vs how someone may actually experience them (Keep in mind that this is the way I personally experience these symptoms, and that presentation can vary a lot between individuals)
"Idk, the stigma is right though, because I've known a lot of people with NPD who are jerks, so I'm going to continue to support the blockage of treatment for this condition."
(All of these were written by me, because I didn't want to link to other folks' posts without permission, but if you want to add your own links in reblogs or replies please feel free <3)
#actuallynpd#signal boost#actuallyautistic#mental health awareness#narcissistic personality disorder#people also need to realize that mental health professionals aren't immune from bias#(it really shouldn't come as a shock that the mental health field has a longstanding pattern of misunderstanding and mistreating ppl who ar#mentally ill or otherwise ND)#the first therapist i brought up NPD to like. literally pulled out the DSM bc she could barely remember the criteria. then said that there'#no way I have it because I have low self-esteem lmaoooooo#anyway throwback to being at work and chatting with a co-worker. and the conversation turning to mental health. and him saying that#he tries to stay informed and be aware and supportive of mental health conditions & that he doesn't want to be ignorant or spread harmful#misinformation. and then i mentioned that i do a lot of research into mental health stuff and i listed a bunch of things. which included#several personality disorders. one of which was NPD.#and after listening to my whole ass list he zeroed in on the NPD and immediately started talking about how narcissists are abusive and#he knew someone who had NPD and how the person who had it had an addiction and died from the addiction in a horrible way and he#was glad he did#fun times#or when i decided to be vulnerable and talk abt my self-criticism/self-hatred bc i knew my friends also struggled w that and i wanted to#support them by sharing my own coping methods. and they both(separately!) started picking and prodding at my npd through the lens of stigma#bc i'd recently opened up to them abt having it. they recognized self-hatred as a symptom and still jumped on me for it. despite me#trying to share hurt vulnerable parts of myself to help them and connect with them.#again..... fun times
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Honestly I feel like if Fiddleford fell into the portal instead of Ford, the whole plot of Gravity Falls would've been wrapped up decades sooner.
People forget that Ford needed Fiddleford's help to build that portal. Even with 12 PhDs and a god of knowledge whispering in his ears, Ford couldn't figure it out! And though FF is physically weaker than Ford, he's not exactly useless in a fight; he gets Ford out of trouble numerous times in Journal 3 & TBOB.
Ford traveled the multiverse for over 30 years looking for a way to kill Bill, and it's ultimately still Fiddleford (or rather a happier, healthier version of him) that helped finish the quantum destabilizer. In fact, Fiddleford made not one, not two, but three deadly weapons that were used against Bill, including the one that ultimately ended him (the quantum destabilizer, mystery shackatron, & the memory gun).
...so yeah, he would've been back home in time for dinner.
#smh hirsch gave fiddleford mcgucket anxiety addiction & repressed homosexuality bc he knew gf would end too quickly otherwise#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddleford hadron mcgucket#gravity falls#stanford pines#gravity falls au#AHHHH ford getting parallel!fiddleford's help for the destabilizer drives me CRAZY. 30yrs & a whole multiverse apart theyre still entwined#i NEED to know what that interaction looked like#fiddauthor
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leona and her soon to be dead husband
before!!!!
#oc: leona#mysims#ts4 edit#ts4#simblr#the sims community#sims 4#i think if i knew how to edit hair id be unstoppable#leona's so hot it makes me SICKKKKKKK#CURRENTLY TEARING MY SKIN OFF#leona wearing black to her own wedding to represent the death of her life shes so dramatic i love her#leona's family forced her to marry salvatore who audra and her eventually kill and fuck like freaks while covered in his blood <3#they've never had control over their lives so them murdering salvatore was their first taste of having real power#their addiction for it started from there#murder wives i love you#enzo edit on the agenda next ENZO FANS RISE UP!!!!!!!!!!#i never usually post the before picture but i think the lighting is a little delicious#i made this photo so much harder to take i forgot relight existed and was using a lamp to try and get the right lighting </3
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Inktober request!! Batfamily member of ur choice dressed as if they’re in a noir detective setting?
um. this ended up not being in ink bc my brain got very carried away
i was thinking about helena as a noir detective and then i was thinking about huntress '89 if helena became a noir type private eye instead of a vigilante and then.
sometimes you gotta do things for the girl you used to be.
#i think helena should have a gun. and also a trench coat and a concerning nicotine addiction.#i knew if i committed to doing this in ink it wasnt gonna happen SO#dc huntress#helena bertinelli#huntress 1989#dc#promts#sart
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what I'm learning is that MXTX series really have ☆*: .。The Range。.:*☆ and that my first impressions often don't survive for very long...
MDZS, initial impression: ooh revived necromancer that everyone fears, this is going to be dark and revenge-fuelled
MDZS, subsequent impression: these are Silly Lil Guys off on a romcom murder mystery
SVSSS first impression: nerd who got isekai'd into a shitty novel, crybaby puppy dog imprints on him
SVSSS subsequent impression: how many times now has the love interest tortured the main character? should I start a tally?
(i've only just finished SVSSS bk2, please no spoilers!!)
#mdzs#svsss#wangxian#bingqiu#wei wuxian#lan wangji#shen qingqiu#luo binghe#wwx#lwj#sqq#lbh#to be clear this is something i LOVE about these books#the fact that mxtx can really balance tragedy and humour so well makes them really addictive#the contrast really makes the comedic/romantic highs all the higher and the suffering all the worse#however svsss really took me by surprise xD the ONLY thing i've seen about it from my dashboard is Big Crying Eyes Luo Binghe#i kind of expected a Pure Comedy#so i was Unprepared when the blood parasites came into play#into it though 👀👀👀👀#i'm so sorry sqq i'm doing you so dirty in that gif but all i knew was ''isekai''#and i have a very biased view of what isekai protags are like 😂😂😂#also you guys have LIED to me i don't think i've seen lbh cry EVEN ONCE where are the big sad puppy eyes????#grandmaster of demonic cultivation#scum villain#my art
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idk if anyone else noticed but they've finally stopped putting concealer on Yoongi’s upper lip and istfg I don’t know how to handle myself these days
#like fuck i knew his lips were addicting bUT FUCK#UFKCKXNXNXKX FJCKCKC FJCKCKC#pics will follow i just gotta find good one sndnddn#rambling
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YO I LOVED YOUR ANIMATIC ON YOUTUBE
Also, are you on the "Peri's a bit more magically powerful but suppresses it bandwagon"? Because I noticed that Wanda and Cosmo have regular human ears while Peri doesn't.
Eneways Have a Good Day!!
YOU KNOW WHAT I actually hadn't heard that headcanon yet when I made the animatic but the more I think about it the more in love I am with the idea.
I would be so ironically tragic if part of Peri struggling so much to look human was a direct result of how powerful his magic is and having to suppress it ♥
POV the one thing you want most in the world ia specifically unavailable to you and you only because of something many would call a gift
#I gave them rounded ears because I arbitrarily decided to put them in human form#I think cause I wanted to make them more smothering looking#and also because the wings and ears and crowns felt too cluttering#fop#fairly oddparents#I have a confession I never watched the end of the original FOP#I didnt have a tv in my house so I only watched cartoons at my grandmas house but she started getting unpleasant 💔#I mostly knew about poof through adverts and only caught a few episodes nearing the end#So a lot of lore Im having to learn second hand while I try to speedrun watching the old show#Its not going well I suck at sitting down to watch things#Im addicted to procrastinating even things I want to do. Its agonizing
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Do you have any ideas for who the Minyards’ dad is?
Tetsuji- [gunshots]
- option one: Tilda had a one night stand with some dude that was simply not an option to be a father. She wouldn’t have wanted him to be a father anyway, she didn’t even think about it once. she never told him and never would have.
- option two: Maybe she didn’t even know which of the one night stands it was, a handful of too many hookups too close together to tell.
- option three and three-and-a-half: it was her long-term on-again off-again boyfriend who was an enabler and just an all-round not very pleasant person. she either told him, he wanted nothing to do with them, and left her alone, or she never told him, and she practically disappeared out of his life, because she knew he wouldn't be able for a child (let alone two)
#it could have also been a healthy long term relationship#that she screwed up with her addiction#and he left her when she refused to look after herself when she was pregnant#i dont know#i've never fully thought about it but i've always though it was option three#and she never told him#maybe he knew#but he didnt want to be a dad so he never said anything either
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The "It was always her" makes the concept about Barius' niece having a crush on him even funnier because imagine any girl crushing on him just wanting to start a conversation and he just goes:
#me when no wife: awooo#addicted atm to wolf memes maybe#Callum#tdp#the dragon prince#tdp spoilers#give us the saga#continue the saga#rayllum#I mean we knew but something about him saying it out loud you know
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thomas cromwell has something to do with religion??????????????
he is as it turns out literally one of the more significant figures in the English reformation. in being like the #1 fixer guy facilitating the divorce between Katherine and Henry and getting Anne Boleyn to be the queen he was like. super involved extremely involved in the invention of the church of England and british protestantism. in the book at least he’s very much a protestant on the low like he’s smuggling in secret Lutheran texts for himself to read and is deeply skeptical of Catholic liturgical institutions like saints, indulgences, and purgatory. unfortunately he was so addicted to the hustle that he invented british protestantism as a side effect. 
#in real life the one thing I knew about him is that he allowed for the publication of the Bible in English the first time#also he is addicted to the hustle and worships his account book as a bible which I think is an extended protestant work ethic joke.#wolf hall#this man is in a way. responsible for the united states being like this.
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RESULTS FROM ROUND TWO!!!
this edition's contributors:
@h0dge-p0dge @wreckrinho @glitchadeli @atomicpirateperson @alkyuz @retrobluecat @larryzstars
by the way: if you contributed to this session, you're absolutely allowed to repost your art separately to your own blog or any other platform you post on! i only ask that if you share a whole canvas that you credit everybody mentioned above (including me, although my contributions this time around are negligible).
man this was so fun!! i loved getting to hang out and joke around with everybody. also somebody (i think it was h0dge-p0dge?) suggested we all play Gartic Phone together which i am SO on board with-
buuuuut i'm definitely gonna be taking break from stuff like this for a while > <"
nobody's fault! i'm just a bit burnt out and also i'm gonna be pretty swamped for the next few weeks/months. prom is next saturday, the musical i'm gonna be doing spotlights for is starting the week after that, and both my birthday AND graduation will be happening in May. in other words, pray for me 💀
if anyone else wants to take a turn organizing another event like this, go right on ahead! i think its so wonderful that we have this little community on here and getting to see everybody having fun together warms my cold, gamer heart. so go have fun and keep being kind to each other.
that is all! i am going to bed now :)
#i managed to sneak one of my non-fandom ocs in here. ily toxoryhn <3#also wrecker if youre reading this: i was dying laughing at your reactions/commentary to me drawing isaac LMAOO#“NOT THAT THING” “IT HAS A NAME?” killed me. just absolutely destroyed me#if only you knew dear wrecker. if only you knew the scope of my binding of isaac addiction#the amazing world of gumball#tawog#rob tawog#gumball watterson#wrecker's voidball#bobert 6b#steve small#at least half a dozen of glitch's shipkid ocs (said with love)#larry needlemeyer#terri tawog#penny fitzgerald#waylon smithers#darwin watterson#rob collins#isaac moriah#clayton tawog#robin watterson#carrie kruegar#rupaul tawog#icewing#tomothy rambles#collective scribble session
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One thing about me, Imma cry at the end of CATFA when Steve stands in the middle of the streets surrounded by all the billboards, ads, cars, ect because that must be SO fucking confusing and jarring :( I'm crying rn even though I tried not to, but I feel so bad for Steve ☹
And the last lines of this movie being "I had a date" TALK ABOUT DEPRESSING!!!
#me my mine#steve rogers#catfa#i watched it a couple times tonight 🤭 it's an addiction i think#catfa is too depressing for a superhero origin movie the ending is “your life sucked you died and then came back but everything and +#+everyone you knew is dead too“
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For two totally different reasons though both obviously musical I'm thinking about two musicians who were in the punk/alt scene and write (semi) quiet indie songs now and I wonder if that's Ashton's future or if not, what it will be.
#the Weakerthans frontman was the bassist for Propagandhi#idk man the most punk guy i knew in college has a daughter and lives in suburban Connecticut#and I'm not saying that is the only pathway forward#but like. i feel the Ashton lifestyle is not one you can live more than a few decades#i was also talking about the mountain goats earlier this morning w/burr-ell#and like. John darnielle is a recovering addict and worked as iirc a nurse and now is very much removed from the boy in This Year#but is still very much that person! idk man what does Ashton's future look like!#for my own reasons i do really enjoy seeing the point where self destruction loses the false romantic sheen! bc it does have that#anyway. would love to see One Great City! bassuras edition#cr tag
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