#me when no wife: awooo

[tategaminu]

The "It was always her" makes the concept about Barius' niece having a crush on him even funnier because imagine any girl crushing on him just wanting to start a conversation and he just goes:

[sukunasbow]

pr nightmare.

pairings: oscar piastri x fem!actress!reader.

warnings: slight carlos slander and some suggestive comments.

in which you’re the polar opposite of your introverted boyfriend and have a tendency to overshare with the internet, especially when it comes to defending your boyfriend.

yourusername uploaded a story

user8 your man deserved better fr 🙏 wish he got podium

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 1,725,633 others

yourusername had a long week! qotd, is it embarrassing to have one sided beef with someone? xx.

view 636,229 comments

oscarpiastri beautiful girl 🧡

yourusername ily 🫶🏻

user12 y/n you’re gorgeous 😭

alexademie stunning

yourusername miss u mamas 😽

user94 MAMAS 😭😭 so real

landonorris the answer is yes queen 💅🏻

yourusername andddd you’re correct sassy man!

user9 IM SOBBING “yes queen”

user2 carlos shade??

user66 well at least one of our mclaren boys got p1!

user10 waittt…the caption 😭 GET HIS ASS!

user73 love the caption! yes it’s embarrassing!

user4 right because oscar dgaf 💀 but mmm…that man is just fuminggggg and for what

liked by yourusername

user4 SHE LIKED MY COMMENT LMFAOOO

user66 shadyyyy…

user40 SPEAK UR TRUTH!! CAPTION ATE!

user1 carlos having one sided beef w oscar is hilarious to me

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 1,372,711 others

oscarpiastri does this count as training…

view 242,896 comments

yourusername im crying rn my boyfriend is so hot

oscarpiastri y/n…we’ve talked about this

yourusername WOOF WOOF WOOF 🐶

user12 HELP ME WTH

landonorris nurse come get her she escaped again..

user6 PLSSS

yourusername so sexy awooo

oscarpiastri says you 🤭

yourusername come over right now sir!!

user9 YOOO?

user26 she’s in heat 🧍🏼‍♀️

user41 HERE BEFORE Y/N

yourusername wrongggg! i got here first!

user41 OMGGG Y/N

yourusername uploaded a story

oscarpiastri i miss you more!

yourusername come visit me nowwww

user8 CHILLLLL

user73 if i was dating oscar..i’d be like this too

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 942,331 others

oscarpiastri ciao imola 👋

view 153,826 comments

yourusername FIRST 😝😝

yourusername ily.

oscarpiastri i love you more!

yourusername just fell to my knees in target

oscarpiastri HUH?

landonorris please seek help

yourusername ihu lando

user70 Y/N…

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, and 2,627,339 others

yourusername and uhh shoutout to my man cause he’s gonna be taking it off me tonight 💋

view 893,622 comments

oscarpiastri i don’t know how to feel about this caption or what to say

yourusername 😞 wow

oscarpiastri ily tho!

liked by yourusername

landonorris i’m reporting your account

yourusername sounds like a hater! 🚨🚨

user6 y/n’s pr manager is struggling rn

user17 LMFAOO mclaren too 😭

user60 UHH??

oscarpiastri

liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 736,294 others

oscarpiastri she’s an angel, i promise!…

view 33,826 comments

yourusername exactly everybody! relax!

oscarpiastri 😊 yesssss everybody!! she totally didn’t force me to post this

yourusername ihu.

oscarpiastri ily.

user19 omg 😭

user64 HELPP MY FAV COUPLE

landonorris sureeee…🙄

yourusername i know your location.

landonorris I DARE YOU.

oscarpiastri be nice to each other pls! 🤙🏻

user83 MY FAV WAG

user2 when’s the wedding guys

yourusername how do yk it hasn’t happened yet?

user12 Y/N L/N? WHAT??

user9 pr nightmare omg 😭

user11 HELLO??

yourusername uploaded a story

oscarpiastri not yet at least 🤫💍

yourusername okay bet wife me up!

landonorris thankfully! you’re already constantly around so imagine if you were married!!

yourusername count your days xoxo

[danceing-spelled-wrong]

I've created siblings.

Yes. I'm brain dead.

Yes I have too much time.

Yes I'm dying

And yes. They over lay with Amly

I guess I'll explain them..woo..

Cemi:

He came to Snaktooth Island because he was dragged there by his older sister

He's not a well known icon, but he's known for his modeling gigs

He gets crushes pretty easily and gets upset when they don't like him back

Even though he looks like he would never hurt anyone, he could hurt anyone and will do it

He's really good at hiding and publicly speaking

When he first stepped on the island, he met Eggabell and fell in love with her

Then he met Triffany and fell in love with her, then Wiggle, and lastly Floofty

He doesn't like his sister because she spends time with Floofty

He doesn't like Chandlo(he got confused and thought he was dating Floofty) or Gramble because they have a thing for his crushes

He covers his left eye due to incident with a wild animal but his sister took most of the fall for him

His hut is right beside his sister's hut which is near the woods

In town, he's known as a bit of a stalker

He's relatively popular despite him acting shy which might add to his "coolness" but that's up to perceptive

Beffica made him a bracelet and he always keeps it on

Even though Lizbert's with Eggabell, Cemi doesn't hate her along with Wambus

He goes out at night to..do whatever he wants

You meet him in the desert where he's stalking helping Triffany

Charlia:

She came to Snaktooth Island because she wanted to study the snaxs and get away from the city

She took a liking towards Floofty and Snorpy since they're siblings and she just so happened to bring her younger brother with her

Her and Floofty get along due to their fascination of the bugsnax and both missing their limbs

She uses a prosthetic arm due to an incident that happened when she was younger

Amly tried stealing her arm and now Charlia always keeps it on her no matter what

You find her in the Sugerpines not near Chandlo or Snorpy but closer towards the mountain

Sometimes, she lifts Cemi into the air because he's light weight and because she thinks it's cute when he tries to get out her grasp

If someone is older then her, then she'll refer to them as a Miss, Mr, Mrs, and Mx

Snorpy fixes her arm when it's broken or just isn't working

Lizbert sometimes invites her on expeditions that way Charlia can grab some test subjects

She doesn't eat the snax, seeing them as..gross but she thinks that of anything she consumes

The experiments she does aren't harsh like Floofty's but it still involves scalpels and jars of unused parts

Besides doing experiments, she really good at sports mainly basketball and football

Dialogue in game:

Cemi:

Filbo

"He's really cool! He once complimented my fur AND gave me a high five!"

Wambus

"I don't appreciate him eyeing my wife, I don't see why Filbo thinks he's so great."

Beffica

"O M G! Cemi is like, the coolest grumpus here! I gave him a bracelet and he hasn't taken it off yet!"

Gramble

"He doesn't..like me.."

Wiggle

"Darling..he followed me for a whole day! I'm no stranger to stalkers but this is just ridiculous!"

Snorpy

"No comment."

Cromdo

"All he does is stalk people and everyone still think he's such a great guy!"

Amly

"Isn't that the stalker? Cemy right? Geez..I don't try to steal from him in case it directs his attention towards me."

Triffany

"Cemi? Oh dear..he stood at mine and Wamby's doorway and watched me sleep all night.."

Chandlo

"He assumes I'm in a relationship with Floofty and now sends me death threats.."

Floofty

"I'm confused on how him and Charlia are related."

Shelda

"Absolutely no comment on that..thing!"

Being asked about Floofty:

"I would say yes..but they haven't said anything about the love letters I sent.."

Charlia

Filbo

"She's so sweet, I would love to have an older sister like her!"

Wambus

"I'd like to know why she doesn't slap some sense into her brother, maybe then he'd stop with the stalking."

Beffica

"Eh, I don't speak to her but I do know that her and Cemi are related..I see the resemblance, but they don't act the same."

Gramble

"Oh..she's..very kind..and she drops off some bugsnax if she ever catches an extra one!"

Wiggle

"A lot less..strange then her brother, I would ask why her brothers like that, but I have a feeling she's a bit like him in a way.."

Snorpy

"Charlia's arm would always break so I would be the one to fix it for her, she's quite a fan of my work, mainly because I also have a sibling who is..different."

Cromdo

"A two bit goody-two shoes is what she is! She's just as bad as Beffica, but worse!"

Amly

"I can't stand her, she's too nice to everyone and doesn't get upset when I steal stuff from her!"

Triffany

"I'm not around her a lot, but she sure is nice to talk to when we're near!"

Chandlo

"Any friend of Snorpy, is a friend of mine. She can also can jump pretty high, she's a great opponent in basketball!"

Floofty

"A curious type, like Triffany but can hold back her joy in favor of science, if only she'd let me experiment on her."

Shelda

"Nothing evil seems to be stemming from in her..but still..avoid at all cost!"

Being asked about Floofty:

"I would..but I've seen what they do..and I rather keep my other arm.."

Meeting Cemi

"Ah! Wambus! I'm not eyeing ya wife! I swear!"

*calm down, i'm not wambus*

"Oh thank grump! I don't want to be thrown again.."

"Who are you anyways? You here to stalk too?"

*explains*

"A journalist? Did Lizbert ask you to be here..or something?"

"Whatever. I'm Cemi Bowtwist, I'm a model, you a fan?"

*Come back to town?*

"Oh no! No no no! If I go back, Wambus will rip me to shreds!"

*what did you do?*

"I..um..was watching Triffany sleep."

*that's creepy*

"Hey! Can ya blame me? She's married AND hot!"

"So no. I'm not coming back to town. Not until Wambus forgives me for my action!"

*why should he?*

"Because..he has to agree..his wife is really hot.."

*Sure I guess*

"Wowy! Thank you so much!"

*Wambus agrees as long as you stop*

"Oh great..sure..I guess.."

"Alright, who else is in town?"

*Gramble, Beffica, Filbo, and Wambus*

"Oh great..is Wiggle in town? If she's there, then I'll definitely come back!"

*Wiggle's in town*

"Yes! My girl is back! Awooo!!"

"Ha ha! Alright buddy boy, I'm-"

"Woah! Wait! I got to bring something for her! Ahh!!"

"Hey boy..can you..get me a Sweetiefly? The ones in the shape of hearts? If I give it to her, she might forget I followed her for a day.."

*gives Lovely Sweetiefly*

"Thank you so much! I guess I'll see you in town then, ciao buddy boy!"

Meeting Charlia

"Oh hiya! I haven't seen you around before..you're that journalist Miss Megafig told me about, right?"

"I knew it! But..I guess you came for no reason, Miss Megafig gone missin'..whya still here?"

*explains*

"Oh! That's rather kinda of ya!"

"They call me Charlia! Charlia Bowtwist! Nice to meet cha!"

*Come back to town?*

"Town? Well..I do miss my hut..but I'm about to make a break through! I've been testing this Strabby and learned that bugsnax don't have organs!"

"With this..I can finally figure out what bugsnax are!"

"But I need more.."

"If ya don't mind bitsy..could you get me a..oh..a Weenyworm and a Cinnasnail? If it's no trouble."

*got the worm and snail*

"Perfect! They'll do perfectly!"

"Hm..just as I expected, no organs! But that doesn't explain why they don't, maybe they're their own species? How come Miss Megafig is the only grumpus who discovered them?"

"So many unknown answers! I gotta get more info!"

"Maybe Mx Fizzlebean could help me..hey..are they in town?"

"If so..can you ask them if they're willing to help me with my studies."

*Floofty says they're gonna help*

"I always liked that grumpus...*sigh*.."

"I'm comin' back! I'll see ya in town bitsy!"

Welcome back message:

Cemi

"Hello Wiggle!"

"Oh..you.."

"I..brought you some Sweetieflies!"

"Cemi. I appreciate the thought..but this doesn't fix the fact you stalked me for a whole day!"

"I was making sure..you were safe!"

"....."

"How about a walk on the beach?"

"....."

"Hehehe.."

"......"

"I'll..just..leave them here.."

"......"

"Um..bye!"

Charlia

"Oh..hey sis."

"Baby brother! I'm so happy you're here!"

"Yeah..happy to see you too.."

"What brings you back anywho?"

"All my crushes are back and I plan to ask one out."

"I wish the best of luck to you little brother!"

"What about you?"

"Me and Mx Fizzlebean are gonna study Bugsanx again."

"Oh..well..can you hook me up with them? Tell them how cool I am?

"Sorry brother, they're just not interested in you."

"Yet."

"You really have a problem."

"No. You do."

"...."

"...."

"Well bye Ce!"

"Cya Char."

Interviews

Interviewing Cemi:

*Have time for an interview?*

"Of course, I'm always open for an interview!"

*Who are you?*

"The names Cemi Bowtwist, beginner model, lady master, and Grump City's most eligible bachelor!"

*Why come to Snaktooth Island?*

"I didn't want to come here, I had my mansion and my fame but my sister dragged me here."

"That's because you've been living under a rock. Duh."

*Thoughts on Bugsnax*

"Amazing, delicious, and will get me a lover!"

*If you're famous, shouldn't it be easy to find a lover?*

"Um..skip."

*Why did you leave town?*

"*sigh*"

"When Triffany and Wambus split, I tried going after her to see if I could romance her..and when I failed I came back and..Wambus was waiting there.."

"Safe to say I got out of there before he could land a blow."

*Maybe you should stop going after peoples wives*

"Eh.."

*Any info on Lizbert?*

"Meh..I don't really like her all that much. The only reason I involved myself with her was because she was the girlfriend of Eggabell."

*Another crush?*

"I've been single since I was a teen, give me a break."

*What happened to Lizbert?*

"Her and Eggabell had an argument and I tried getting with Eggabell before they made up but then they went missing, so sadly..I have no idea."

*That'll be it, thank you!*

"That was nice! I enjoy interviews very much!"

"I also found..this..laying around..so..here."

"Now I'm gonna try to get Floofty's attention, cya!"

*you received a strange key*

Interviewing Charlia:

*Have time for an interview?*

"I'm always open to chat about my experiments!"

*Who are you?*

"Charlia Bowtwist! Eldest of the two!"

*Two?*

"Yeah! I have a younger brother! He's the cutest thing ever!"

*Why come to Snaktooth Island?*

*Why did you want to escape?*

*Thoughts on Bugsnax?*

"They're really interesting and confusing..like..what are they really? And why is everyone interested in eating them? I know Miss Megafig said they were safe..but I don't get it.."

*Then what do you do with the Bugsnax?*

"Unlike everyone else..I study them and figure out why they change everyone's limbs, Mx Fizzlebean said if I want my arm back, I could eat one..but..I think that wouldn't work very much.."

*How did you lose your arm?*

"An accident regarding an animal when I was a kid..well..it was my brothers fault but I took most of the damage for him."

*Why did you leave town*

"I left..because the fighting was too much, I'm not new to arguments..but the screaming and constant fighting was too much to handle, so I left around when Snorpy and Mr Funkbun left."

*Any info on Lizbert?*

"Miss Megafig is really nice grumpus! She shows me the ropes of catching the snax and talks to me about personal issues, I liked speaking with her a lot!"

*What happened to Lizbert*

"I'm not sure..I was asleep when she and Eggabell went missing.."

"According to Mx Fizzlebean, they had an argument before they disappeared..so..maybe they're sorting things out on a secret part of the island!"

"That was rather quick..but fun!"

"You know..I found this earlier, here, you seem to be interested in this investigation stuff!"

*You were given a journal with a lock*

Reaction to death when and after:

Cemi

"H-Huh? Charlia..?"

"Why was I so mean to her..she..she just wanted to help me..and I shoved her away..

She didn't deserve to go..I was being a jerk..why did..those things..take her?

They knew didn't they?

About her suffering?

That's why they took her..

I need to be alone..go away.."

Charlia

"Noooooooo! Cemi no! Please grump no!! Don't..please..come back.."

"This has to be a dream..please..say it's a dream..he..he's not dead..no..

I'm a terrible big sister! I deserved to go, not him! Why take him you..you evil creatures of hell?!

Just..take me..please..I..I want to leave..please..take me..

Go away..please."

No more OCs. I can't be bothered to make more concepts..

[invisibletoallbutfaeries]

Prayer

Family Focus: The O'Malley’s

Word Count: 2,220

Page count: Just over 7 pages

Brief: Now that the plague crisis is over, Hern is still adjusting to life on Gaia with knowledge of the magical. His family has gone with the village herbalist to buy a dog on Earth, leaving Hern to watch over Kyra’s dogs and wonder about how he will handle having a new dog of his own. 

    Hern went about his daily routine: feed the Yale, ensure that Hanon the stag is doing well and check the does to see if Hanon had been getting up to anything the night before. Clean what farm he had, eat breakfast, clean the house, chores from around the village, repeat. Usually he’d ask his children to help, but they’d been gone for about five days with their mother and the village herbalist to look for a pet dog. Domestic dogs hadn’t been found on Gaia yet, so they needed to go to Earth to see if there was an adoptable one from the few number there.

They’d been living on this planet for so long Hern himself had forgotten how things were back on Earth. He hoped well, things moved so fast there from what he remembered though. Time slowed here on Gaia. It was usually peaceful enough that he wouldn’t worry about having a dog or not. Especially in the last year or so.

Then his wife Brighid reminded him that they’d gone 20 years under a curse after their son ate the wrong berries. Recently more magical shenanigans had began appearing around the house due to faeries of all sorts deciding the farm was their playground. The pixies were the worst. Once they discovered that Yale could produce milk when they were happy and cared for rather than just for young they became insistent that they should have some as well. They’d even harassed the yale about it and broken into Hern’s store rooms to leave spilled milk everywhere in their quest for a thimble of it. Due to treaties he couldn’t hurt the Fae on his farm unless they attempted to physically harm him first, so he’d been going through a lot of salt in an attempt to passive aggressively dissuade them from messing with the farm as much.

After some time he couldn’t argue with his wife’s insistence to get a dog. If anything the biggest arguments for him were that it would help keep the children to be safe, and Bran out of trouble, and he could have help when taking care of the Yale herd or even hunting with Arkas and his nephew.

He still felt tired just thinking of trying to raise a 13 year old, a 10 year old, and a dog at the same time though. Especially when 10 year old Bran had a habit for mischief. He may look like he was in his 30s, but Hern was chronologically in his 60s. He felt he should be allowed to claim being too old for some things….if Brighid would ever let him. His bonnie wife was older than him, she probably wouldn’t. It was the 31st century though, maybe he could manage to convince her that tiredness of the soul trumped the youth of the body. She had a younger soul, that’d be his excuse.

    At the sound of yipping Hern looked up from washing his dishes. The herbalist, Kyra, had left him with her two dogs so he’d get used to having canines and so she didn’t need to look for a dog sitter. He spotted the little one, a small ball of fluff with fairly impressive eyebrows around his little black eyes. He was tiny, but still a puppy. Kyra said there was a good chance he was already at his full size though, making his eyebrows and the hint of a beard all the more impressive as he looked like a small wise man. He was pretty sure she’d said his name was “Marcus Alexander”.

The small dog began to bark when he realized Hern was looking at him, running up to him and trying to climb his leg in an effort to be picked up. He didn't make it very far after he’d climbed the man’s foot. Hern chuckled and dried his hands before picking up the black and white fluff ball, the puppy barely fitting in one hand. Which it began to incessantly lick. It was an excitable thing.

“Stop tha’ please,” Hern sighed, petting the top of it's head and gently trying to pull it's face away from his wrist from the pressure of the patting. Marcus seemed to get the idea and stopped, now just talking to him in small “awooo-oo-oo”s and wagging his curly tail. Hern laughed as the pup talked continuously.

“You’d be no good for huntin’, little guy. Too noisy. A Fae’d find ya right quick and scoop ya up, let alone a bunny or deer catching wind of ya before we spot it.” The fluff with eyebrows responded with a yip. Hern chuckled and decided to bring the pup with him for his other chores. He could probably watch him while he cleaned out Brighid’s smithy. He wasn’t sure where Sweets, Kyra’s giant hound, was. Nor did he know how the hound could disappear like he did, though he did make for a better guard dog than Marcus.

    After searching the house for Sweets, Hern figured the big dog could handle itself and instead carried Marcus outside to help him with cleaning the smithy. The little pup proved more useful than expected, as he was happy to carry any dirty rags to the buckets and make a big pile or to jump into beginning cobwebs, though Hern wasn’t sure if he did that on purpose or simply didn’t see the webs before trotting through them. Hern couldn’t help but laugh as he cleaned up his wife’s tools and working space, wondering how she could handle all the soot and dust. Then again he dealt with animals and their dung, so perhaps he shouldn’t question her grime of choice.

What if the dog they chose slobbered though? He would draw the line at slobbering. What if it was as much of a licker as Marcus? He watched the pup jump into a dust pile, yipping excitedly the whole while. What if the new dog was big but had the same energy as Marcus? Could he handle a teenage girl, an 10-year old boy, and an excitable bulldozer of a dog at the same time? What if it was a brand new puppy with no training whatsoever? Could he train a dog? Brighid would help him, maybe Kyra too, but how would he adjust to training a dog? How much could his children train it? How much would they have to adjust?

He was getting tired again.

As the sun reached the western sky, leaving everything in a soft orange glow of afternoon, he heard a loud, deep bark echo throughout the smithy. From the trills of the yale he figured they heard the menacing sound as well. Behind him Sweets had appeared, the black hound blending in with the shadows and staring at Hern with amber eyes that near reflected red in the afternoon sun. It stood, turning it's wolf like face towards the road leading to town, where a small group could be seen approaching.

    Hern grabbed a cloth and wiped his hands as he walked up to stand next to Sweets, barely registering how the dog began to lick soot off of Marcus when the pup followed. The group up ahead had several red-headed individuals and a brunette who he recognized as Sweet and Marcus’ owner. Next to her was a 10 year old boy who stood a head shorter than her, a slightly taller young girl, and a strong, beautiful, heavy set woman who he knew could not keep her smithy clean to save her life. His family. How he missed them. His wife was even singing in her bonnie voice.

Lead her to a place,

Guide her with your grace,

To a place where she’ll be safe

In five days he’d almost forgotten how often she sang that song. He really wished she’d learn a different one. There was only so many times one could hear “A Mother’s Prayer” throughout the day. Brigid was even trying to mimic the ancient singer Celin Dion, despite her heavy Irish accent getting in her way and not lending well to mimicking a Canadian one. He was already tired.

Walking between the group was a pale golden....dog? Small fluffy deer? It was tall as far as Hern could see, almost as tall as Sweets, who’s shoulder almost matched with Hern’s elbow. Hern was 5’9”, it wasn’t a small feat for the huge dog. It even had a similar barrel-body look, despite the long thin legs. It's head was small and almost looked like a crows skull, but with a big black dog nose at the end. The hound looked as tired as Hern felt though, he already felt a kinship with it.

He and the two dogs that were with him began walking to meet the group at the front door, Kyra greeting her dogs with pets and kisses as Marcus practically lept from Hern’s side into her arms and Sweets simply silently trotted up to her and licked her hand in kind. Bran and Branwen ran up to him, both excitedly telling him all about what they’d seen back on Earth, how Branwen was so happy she didn’t have visions, all the dogs they’d seen, etc. Neither could seem to agree on a subject to stay on, either with each other or themselves. Brighid began laughing, staying by their new dog and petting it's head as it sat down to rest.

“I’m so glad you’re all home! It sounds like ya all had an adventure, but you might wanna slow down before you gobble up your own words there.” At his teasing and laughter both children stopped. Before they could begin again he quickly asked “can ya introduce me to our new family member here?” He gestured to the dog, who looked up at him with big brown eyes. It's floppy ears lifted up a bit at being acknowledged and it's breathing sped up, it's big chest heaving up and down. Hern spotted a long fluffy tail wagging behind it as well. A straight one, unlike the dogs he’d been watching for the past five days. Brighid got her word in before their children could go into, what was undoubtedly, long winded stories of how they found her and probably long tales. Knowing Bran it probably included ninjas and pirates somewhere, and knowing Branwen an amazon or a Conan the Barbarian look-alike might appear in her story.

“She’s apparently from Borzoi and Afghan lines, started breeding them together to make them more healthy. They’re hunting and sighthound breeds though, so she’ll do well on the farm and watching the kids both.” The breed sounded fancy, but then again any dog on Earth was fancy now. Even Sweets, who was technically a mutt with a scary wolf face but silly curly tail. Once his children let go of him Hern approached the dog, getting a closer look at the tall little lady. She looked young, or at least like she wasn’t particularly old, but she looked to be full grown and intelligent enough. When he knelt in front of her she even stood up, her front paws pacing slightly a few times before she stood still and pretty, her big brown eyes trained on him. He could tell that behind her tiredness was an excitement that would probably have the tall girl running if she could. She was a pretty thing, athletic looking too. When her breathing got heavier he heard Kyra laugh to the side.

“I think she’s still getting used to the oxygen levels here. Should be ok, but I’d let her get some rest for a few days until she’s used to the easier breathing.” He looked over to see her standing now, one hand on Sweets while the other was smoothing the fur between his dog’s ears. The dog calmed a bit, but she was still staring at Hern in anticipation, blinking every so often.

“She sounds like a good girl,” the golden dog barked happily, leaning over and licking his face. He’d have to train her outta that. “She got a name yet?”

“I’ve named her Prayer,” Brighid proudly proclaimed. When he shot her a look she began laughing almost maniacally. “I’m going to go make her a water and food bowel! I’ll go to town and get help making a collar and leash tomorrow!” before Hern could protest, having JUST cleaned her smithy, she was already gone and bouncing excitedly off to work. She was even loudly singing “A Mother’s Prayer” the whole way, not quite keeping in key which meant she was purposely messing with him, despite having actually named the dog after the song.

Hern sighed, sitting fully on the ground and wondering how things could go from quiet to boisterous so quickly. Prayer walked up and layed next to him, putting her long slender head in his lap. He couldn’t help but smile down at her and pet her, causing her to wag her tail again, it hitting his back like a whip. The small upturn of her lips and the excited panting she did made it hard to get upset with the hound though, and instead he simply kept petting her. It was only moments before his children were sitting on the other side of the dog, Branwen hugging her neck and Bran petting her back. Both were excitedly talking about all the trips they’d go on with the dog, dismissing their father when he warned them from breaking rules. Kyra was laughing and excused herself to head home with her dogs, leaving the small family to sit on their front lawn, petting their new dog, and discussing the children’s trip to Earth.

By the time it got dark Brighid called them in for dinner. The children ran in but Hern slowly led Prayer in, letting her relax and get used to her surroundings first, even getting her one of their nicer bowels to eat in for the night since Brighid hadn’t finished Prayer’s personal bowls. When his wife mentioned she might have bloating troubles, Hern kept an extra eye on the hound to make sure she was drinking and eating nice and slowly. He didn’t want her to hurt herself. Brighid teased him about treating the dog like a baby. By bedtime Prayer joined the kids for a bit, though eventually she found her way to Brigid and Hern’s bed, curling herself between them at the foot. Hern was beginning to see that keeping Prayer around might be less of a change than he thought, and found himself enjoying his excited hound more and more every morning.

[shreddedparchment]

I love reading your insights on Bucky’s and the Reader’s character in Man and Wife. To me, it was a realistic take on two people who weren’t ready for marriage and who don’t know how to be in one. Now that AWOOO is done, I have the feeling to re-read Man and Wife because it is THAT good

Oh my gosh! That's so lovely! I'm so glad you've enjoyed Man and Wife enough for a reread! It was definitely one of my faves to write. The journey those characters took me on was so much fun and heartbreaking.

I'm glad it felt realistic. I always aim for realism when it comes to the characters themselves even when the situations they're in are very MCU/fantasy level.

[isaac-not-a-bot]

“Did she call him to make a reservation?”

“Why what’s in your office?”

“When did you take a picture of your daughter for a passport?”

“We keep money in a fucking scarf box! What?”

“Look at the scissors! Why?”

“Hashtag Turkey time!”

“Go on a fishing trip in the middle of winter.”

“HES A FIRE BENDER TOO! RAMI! *Whispering* He is the Avatar! He just needs to throw a rock!”

“There’s only one tent? Why is everyone outside?”

“Yeah, way to go Edward.”

“You’re welcome bro.”

“Who took this picture? Did you print it off at your house?”

“Dramatic. Landscape shots.”

“Aren’t they cold? No. They’re the undead. Never mind.”

“Aww. Undead undying love.”

“They brought matching costumes. At least they’re warm. Like dementors!”

“That’s a lot of red contacts they had to order.”

“Oh the puppies are here! Bark bork!”

“They’re dressed like My Chemical Romance. The black parade on ice!”

“Yeah. She’s MY demon seed.”

“Well look at you. Now she’s an expert? Oh guess not. You’re passed her radius!”

“I can see you fuckin’!”

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT LAUGH?!”

“Oh she has a line! What is that hand? That can’t be her hand!”

“Can you believe?!”

“Yeah this chick she- I don’t understand her role in this.”

“Maggie Grace is on fire!”

“Where’s Jasper?! He could’ve calmed their moods.”

“Look at Renesme just looking at her like,’Mom what are you doing?’”

“So her radius is about 7 ft.”

“That guy is so over everything!”

“Michael Sheen is like,’Keep your vape tricks to yourself.’”

“You know Rami could like cut a hole [in the ice] and they’d all fall in.”

“We were waiting in the trees until there was an appropriate time.”

“WHY YOU SLAPPIN JASPER?!”

“Not gonna show the audience.”

“Away to where? You’re on a fucking lake?”

“Thank you Carlisle. Everyone else keep doing fucking nothing.”

“I don’t remember that happening! Did that happen in the book?!”

“WHAT?! That doesn’t HAPPEN IN THE BOOK EITHER!”

She’s now clutching the blanket and wailing.

“She’s got a weird dog whistle. NO PUPPY! AWOOO! Aww Jacob is so sad HE CANT DO IT!”

“Thank you bender!”

*Wilhelm scream* *laughs*

“Now there’s LAVA?!”

“Dakota Fanning is really upset right now. She’s like bring it. Bring it on.”

“Whose HAND IS THAT? WHOSE HAND IS THAT?”

“Do the thing! OH Gross!”

“Catch me! *Laughs* IS HE THROWING HIS WIFE AT HIM? Yup. Sure did!”

“Oh are you shitting me! That wasn’t even real? I’m done.”

“Who? What?...Why?”

“Poor vlad.”

“Everyone’s alive! Except your sister. And no dogs were harmed in the making of this movie.”

“I WANNA SEE EVERYONE GLITTER RIGHT NOW!”

“Weird. Son in law. Dear old uncle Jacob.”

“So she only had one line in this whole movie?”

“Weird. OH WEIRD! What a great little happy family.”

“But Charlie! Where’s Charlie!”

“Why aren’t they sparkling! They’re in the sun!”

“Remember when you were naked in Italy? Remember when I was human? Edward, you were here for all of that!”

“WHY ARENT THEY SPARKLING?!”

“More credits because we forgot everybody. These are all the ‘non important’ people we couldn’t put in the beginning.”

“You look like Kelly Rippa.”

“That girl got replaced are they gonna still show her?”

“These are like the credits for the whole thing.”

“Remember all these people that weren’t even in the first part gotta throw them back in.”

“CHARLIE! Oooh!”

“I’m Edward Cullen. Waddup.”

“Don’t forget this is Breaking Dawn. And this has been the Twilight saga.”

“Green Day? Fuck really?”

The End.

Things my wife says

During Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2