#it was serious for him

[shujidun]

like okayyy boyfriends!!!

josh tattooing tyler’s thigh (source)

[bruciemilf]

Alfred honestly can’t say shit about Bruce bringing in strays, because what if the Waynes got him the same way?

I genuinely can’t recall HOW Alfred, British special forces extraordinaire, ended up working for Gotham’s (scary) sweethearts.

In my mind, he came to them bleeding.

There’s a tang of bitterness pooling in his gut. Soldiers don’t have friends. They have guns. And he’s all out.

Just when Alfred thought all is in peril, a tiny little hand gently covers a nasty bullet hole on his abdomen.

The first thing Alfred thinks about is: ‘Jesus, this kid has scary eyes.’

“Hi, Alfred.”

“…How do you—“

“Bruce! Jesus FUCKING Christ, I swear, I’m not paying for your ransom next time you run o—…What the fuck is that?”

If there’s one thing about Thomas that Alfred will never forget is his voice; The bass , so chasmic and powerful it could shake the whole world, and the burning care in his eyes despite his vulgarity.

Bruce, — who’s the tiniest bundle of a boy Alfred witnessed, is yanked up by his father’s strong hands, squeezed to his chest carefully. “Hurt,” he says. There’s a tiny, red handprint on Thomas’ shirt.

“Yeah, I didn’t notice,” Thomas mumbling, looking around.

Maybe local gangs? The bullet point is too precise, too calculated. “Who the hell are you?”

Alfred, with his raspy breath, says, “I’m the terribly rude bloke dying on your doorstep, I’m afraid. Alfred Pennyworth. At your service.”

For a guy who’s about to bleed his last, he sounds awfully sarcastic.

“Yeah, wise guy, no one’s dying on my kid’s birthday. Bruce, tell Dotty to prep up the basement. And tell your mama to get my Budlight out of the cooler. Jesus Christ.”

Alfred ends up hoisted on this man’s back. Thomas asks if he has anyone he wants to call? Anyone that’ll come pick him up? Anyone to bury him, if it comes to it.

Alfred whispers he does not.

Thomas sighs. “Well. Kid‘a been asking for a playmate.”

[chloesimaginationthings]

Can’t spell “Five nights at Freddy’s” without GAY

(Based off @/flashcs5 post)

[rabid-transcendentalist]

when I have to take 5x as long to spam the moots with evil boops:

[versias]

Ridiculous Dead Serious idea:

Danny is in some kinda competition that Damian is also in, and they’ve been sniping at each other back and forth throughout the whole thing.

Until one day Danny goes, “You want me so bad it makes you look stupid!”

And Damian stops. Considers. Interrogates himself and his motivations like a good detective. Has a facial journey as he goes through the five stages of grief.

Danny was expecting a snide comeback and now he is legitimately worried he’s somehow triggered the snooty rich kid. Trying to decide if he wants to apologize or awkwardly make his way out of the room to give him time to recover.

Damian sorta hates himself because… yeah, yeah he does. He is attracted to the bratty little fucker and has been… pulling pigtails? Antagonizing to remain in his thoughts and field of vision, to watch his face get red and his breath quicken, to make him lean aggressively into his space and growl at him???

Damian is horrified. How did he misjudge himself so badly? Is this how mother felt when she discovered that Father was a complete mess and only fell more in love?

“Uh, dude? Are you… okay?” Danny reaches hesitantly towards him but doesn’t quite touch.

“No,” Damian says, schooling his face into a bland mask. “In fact, I may need you to support me.”

Panic flits across his companion’s face. He rushes to his aid, ducking against his side. His arm wraps around Damian’s back and a hand settles on his waist. Too gullible.

Damian mourns his own good sense.

[o0kawaii0o]

Ayo 😳

[somewhereincairparavel]

i will never understand how people have the heart to hate Jason even after they found out that his Ambrosia tastes like fucking sawdust. Ambrosia being tasty is like one single happy thing a demigod can have despite their tragic lives, because it reminds them of the home they once had, but lost. And Jason doesn't even have that, he doesn't even have a home to lose in the first place.

[dailycupofcreativitea]

The what?? 🤨

(On this episode of Dragon Ball Z: Krillin and Gohan give advice to Trunks on how to deal with Vegeta's bad attitude)

[itscorsaire]

I WONT HIM !!!

[egophiliac]

we were fucking ROBBED

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

On Saturday I hung out with my 84-year-old ecologist great uncle and he stopped in mid-conversation (abt the return of the whooping crane) and very seriously told me that "you can go one of two ways, as a naturalist"; either you keep sight of the hopeful possibilities, or you don't. I'm one of nature's wretched little pessimists but when an old ecologist literally holds your hands in his and tells you, "don't despair," you have to try, I feel.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

do u think he has a shot

[ba1laur]

2023 darkstalker floating in space doing nothing grinning evily and scary. png 1 and 2

[yuri-puppies]

k2 was ally beardsley's accessibility accommodation so they could get the unhinged energy out of their body while also giving kristen the maturation arc she deserves

[beastlyidiocy]

my sweet old man who is genuinely too kind for the world he lives in :(

[re-bogwitch]

Erik is so cunty because he knows Charles would never let anything happen to him. He can stand there and roll a coin through shaw’s head because yeah Charles isn’t gonna let shaw kill him. He can drop a STADIUM around the WHITE HOUSE because Charles knows what they’ll do if they catch Erik and that certainly can’t happen . He can become a horseman of the god damn apocalypse if he really wants to, because Charles will be available to fight his new boss when things go sour

Literally you can’t touch Erik when Charles is around, and he knows it and uses it to his advantage in the bitchiest way possible and honestly that’s so much funnier than him just loving Charles back so i get it