#it was serious for him

[shujidun]

like okayyy boyfriends!!!

josh tattooing tyler’s thigh (source)

[bruciemilf]

Alfred honestly can’t say shit about Bruce bringing in strays, because what if the Waynes got him the same way?

I genuinely can’t recall HOW Alfred, British special forces extraordinaire, ended up working for Gotham’s (scary) sweethearts.

In my mind, he came to them bleeding.

There’s a tang of bitterness pooling in his gut. Soldiers don’t have friends. They have guns. And he’s all out.

Just when Alfred thought all is in peril, a tiny little hand gently covers a nasty bullet hole on his abdomen.

The first thing Alfred thinks about is: ‘Jesus, this kid has scary eyes.’

“Hi, Alfred.”

“…How do you—“

“Bruce! Jesus FUCKING Christ, I swear, I’m not paying for your ransom next time you run o—…What the fuck is that?”

If there’s one thing about Thomas that Alfred will never forget is his voice; The bass , so chasmic and powerful it could shake the whole world, and the burning care in his eyes despite his vulgarity.

Bruce, — who’s the tiniest bundle of a boy Alfred witnessed, is yanked up by his father’s strong hands, squeezed to his chest carefully. “Hurt,” he says. There’s a tiny, red handprint on Thomas’ shirt.

“Yeah, I didn’t notice,” Thomas mumbling, looking around.

Maybe local gangs? The bullet point is too precise, too calculated. “Who the hell are you?”

Alfred, with his raspy breath, says, “I’m the terribly rude bloke dying on your doorstep, I’m afraid. Alfred Pennyworth. At your service.”

For a guy who’s about to bleed his last, he sounds awfully sarcastic.

“Yeah, wise guy, no one’s dying on my kid’s birthday. Bruce, tell Dotty to prep up the basement. And tell your mama to get my Budlight out of the cooler. Jesus Christ.”

Alfred ends up hoisted on this man’s back. Thomas asks if he has anyone he wants to call? Anyone that’ll come pick him up? Anyone to bury him, if it comes to it.

Alfred whispers he does not.

Thomas sighs. “Well. Kid‘a been asking for a playmate.”

[chloesimaginationthings]

Can’t spell “Five nights at Freddy’s” without GAY

(Based off @/flashcs5 post)

[rabid-transcendentalist]

when I have to take 5x as long to spam the moots with evil boops:

[o0kawaii0o]

Ayo 😳

[katsinspats]

Tragic: Guy you based your entire villain backstory on doesn't even remember you

[somewhereincairparavel]

i will never understand how people have the heart to hate Jason even after they found out that his Ambrosia tastes like fucking sawdust. Ambrosia being tasty is like one single happy thing a demigod can have despite their tragic lives, because it reminds them of the home they once had, but lost. And Jason doesn't even have that, he doesn't even have a home to lose in the first place.

[dailycupofcreativitea]

The what?? 🤨

(On this episode of Dragon Ball Z: Krillin and Gohan give advice to Trunks on how to deal with Vegeta's bad attitude)

[itscorsaire]

I WONT HIM !!!

[egophiliac]

we were fucking ROBBED

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

On Saturday I hung out with my 84-year-old ecologist great uncle and he stopped in mid-conversation (abt the return of the whooping crane) and very seriously told me that "you can go one of two ways, as a naturalist"; either you keep sight of the hopeful possibilities, or you don't. I'm one of nature's wretched little pessimists but when an old ecologist literally holds your hands in his and tells you, "don't despair," you have to try, I feel.

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

do u think he has a shot

[chloesimaginationthings]

How William Afton got his wife in FNAF

[unearthedheart]

"hannibal HATES wills plaids" "hannibal would never let will wear plaid after the fall" hannibal gently dressed will in his softest plaid shirt and tucked him into bed before turning himself in to the fbi when will awoke and rejected him. i dont think he gives a fuck to be honest

[frownyalfred]

Clark: why are you like this

Bruce, three seconds away from dropping a glass of champagne on the floor, dramatically slipping in the pieces, and falling into the lap of the senator they’re trying to get information out of in a bizarre, sleep-deprived, but likely wildly successful seduction attempt: can you just let me have this please

[beastlyidiocy]

my sweet old man who is genuinely too kind for the world he lives in :(