#it was like trying to get something that didnt exist
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The books and the shows aren't the same thing and?? That's okay?? It doesn't have to be??
Some of the artists haven't even seen the show yet, and maybe won't 🤷♀️ I know I've seen like. The 1st episode and that's it lol. And I really enjoyed it and I think it's really fun
But people tend to separate book fandoms from in screen fandoms, to an extent, at least, bc there ARE differences, and THATS OKAY
They are very connected but they are not the same and I don't understand why people find that so hard to accept?? Like. Genuinely I'm so confused lol
Like if someone was being disrespectful, or trying to whitewash Leah or something horrid then like. Defend her!!! (Do try to be polite tho bc people can and often do change, and they know what they have been taught until they learn more- like for example, a few years ago I had no idea ab anything lgtbq and I peob would have gotten myself canceled bc I had. No idea. Ab any of it. And despite having best intentions in heart i totally would have offended someone, and that would have crushed me, because *i didnt know*. I never would have hurt anyone on purpose, i just didnt realize what COULD hurt others on that specific topic, much less why. But now I identify with it and am learning new things ab jt every day and etc. And that's a super touchy topic for a lot of people and for good reason too! Just try to be kind first, then if they are jerks u can be a jerk back lol. Just give peopke a chnace to get better- and then PLEASE dont hold the past against them ubless they very clearly havent changed mk please please please let people grow and change and get better dont crush them before they can) anti Leah trash is. That. Trash
But why would you attack book Annabeth, just for existing? She was my childhood, and I identified a lot with her as I grew up. And guess what! I also identified with Hazel, and I do so even more now! No matter what race she will be casted as, I'm still going to imagine BOOK Hazel the way I always did. Doesn't mean I won't adore her actress, or appreciate art of the girl playing her role! But would you call me racist for drawing her as African American if her actress, was, say, Asian American? Or drawing Leo as Latino instead of Somoan? Because to me, u less I am being a jerk about it, all I'm doing is drawing the book instead of the show. Idk I'm too sleep deprived to put my thoughts into coherent words lol
I love the posts, where it's like, book Annabeth and show Annabeth holding hands. Those posts are my favorite, both because they are freaking adorable, but also. Because it's equal
They are different aspects of the same person
And
Thats
Okay
You know???
I quite literally grew up reading pjo. I read it at least once every year since I learned HOW to read, *partially on pjo*, until late middle school. I was raised on book Annabeth.
Show Annabeth is new and exciting and adorable and I'm so happy for it and I am very excited for all the people being introduced to it!!!!!!!! However, when I'm writing book pjo, I'm not swaping it out for show scenes, bc they are, in fact, different. Which, again, NOT A BAD THING. And you know what? When people from the show fandom write their scenes, they aren't going to be thinking ab the book scenes, and THATS OKAY TOO!!! And I could care less how my readers saw my characters when the read the story. I write them the way I imagine them, but it's their job as the reader to say 'no, actually :P' and swap out the appearance for one they liked better.
I did that plenty often as a kid, and i donf regeret it.
Which, ironically enough, was why my book Percy was blond until ab 6th grads XD I mixed up Luke and Percy's hair description ONCE and just. Never questioned it, though all the rereads, or looking at the covers of the books 💀 you can imagine my shock when I joined the fandom and found out Percy had black hair, instead of sandy hair like, you know, S A N D, like poseidon!!! And now show Percy is blond XD
That just proves people can imagine things how they want and jts okay- especially bc maybe, in an au, they're rifht!!! (Au being show Percy to me)
Anyways I lost my train of thought and it's almost 12 here lolll I hope I didn't say anything ill be embarrassed by come tomorrow~
Good night world :3
Hi guys, wanted to discuss something going on for a while now. What the hell is wrong with pjotwt? Like...whats wrong with this people? Do you see what they say? What they are even trying to do?
First of all, let me start by speaking about the cast. They are all wonderful children, Leah especially! She is doing an amazing job as Annabeth. But book Annabeth still exists yk? She is and she is literally white. It is not racist. But denying about a character being white in the books, even spreading hate like this...is racist. There are people out there related with Annabeth for years. People love her, every version, maybe book more maybe even the movie. How can you disrespect her like this? And most importantly, how can they attack an artist like this, with an art being so beautiful. What they are trying to do is not protecting Leah, it is spreading hate. It is awful. Making this fandom toxic, so so much.
Them trying to erase book Annabeth because she is white, trying to cover her by painting on her, shaming artists, calling people that loves her racist...What do we do about this in pjo fandom? This fandom used to be so beautiful, but now. This people are not part of the fandom in my eyes, because real fans, would respect every version of the characters, love them with their anything, even flaws. They would protect this characters because they love them, so much. And not to mention this characters are the ones Rick wrote 20 years ago, they were with us for so long.
What do tumblr think about this I wonder? Since pjo fandom is pretty active here :3
#is it so hard to just like love them all? i consider all versions of the pjo characters canon. who says that there only has to be one canon?#ramblings with regina#thd show and the books are dif and thags how its SUPPOSED TK BE#ITS OKAY#and so are everones interpretations :÷#let them coexhsist as they shoulddddd#im not giving up my book annie for show and- OR VICE VERSA#THEY ARE TBE WAY THEY ARE MEANT TO BE#LOVS THEM FHEG ARE AMAZING AND BEAUFIFUL#and so are everyones interperetaions :3#i enjoy seeing posts that play around with dif nationalities dor all of the characters#anyways cutting off b4 i ramble again gn~
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I just wanna see the eras tour live in concert
#ts#the hoops ive jumped through#the trials ive faced#istg I'm gods bravest little soldier#IVE BEEN THROUGH IT FOR THOSE TICKETS AND YET.#the amount of queues ive been in#THE HOURS SPENT LISTENING TO A RADIO STATION#FROM A CITY 5 HOURS AWAY#with bagged packed just in case!!#up to the last minute!!#every 11:11 wish!!!#I LITERALLY STILL DONT UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE GOT TICKETS!?!?#I JUST DONT#it was like trying to get something that didnt exist#AND EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER GOT TICKETS#LIKE MY COUSIN !??!#MY EX'S SISTER!??!#at this point.
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sometimes you do have to remember that kh is a videogame designed to be played first and foremost. so many 'odd' seeming decisions make a lot more sense when you take this into consideration. that and just the realities of game dev and having a budget and resource constraints lol
like do people know that the biggest reasons for worlds to be included or excluded from a game has nothing to do with its story or disney or popularity and often just has to do with the game environment/setting being different enough from the other worlds they've chosen lol.
like this is why jungle book keeps getting cut, because they pick other (better) worlds with jungle environments over it every time for the final roster, as an example.
#kingdom hearts#do people kno that when a world is chosen the level designers get to choose the kinds of things they want to emphasize#and then the writer has to come up with reasons and justifications to do all those things in the story for the world#im just sayin sometimes you have to keep in mind that this is a game where the game is the thing prioritized#you know why dream eaters exist? purely because the devs thought it didnt make sense to both care for your own heartless or nobodies#and yet kill other ones just like yours (that and visually itd be harder to distinguish them) so they invented a whole new creature#that conveniently comes in good and evil colours and flavours lol that has never been mentioned or hinted at before#idk i think it just helps sometimes to look at something and try and ask yourself 'what could the reason for this choice be on a game level#even if you ultimately still disagree with it or wish it had been done differently idk i think it helps to at least understand why#that particular choice was likely made#and that it wasnt just the random whims or bad taste of the devs (necessarily lol)
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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Hi! You can always request some specific positivity on @multiplicity-positivity if the post we made doesn’t suit your tastes. We are NOT trying to exclude anyone or make anyone feel unwelcome with our posts. You are always more than welcome to make your own request.
Funny considering that the entire reason -this- blog exists is because that one only writes positivity for factives who source separate or are distressed by their own identity. I did request specific positivity on your blog. Twice. Both times I was directed to the same old blog post that was super heavily focused on problematic factives that just like hate themselves of something. And not just me, I get asks all the time from people talking about how you seem willing to make decent positivity for every group, but our positivity has to be rooted in self loathing.
Like I really don't mean to seem rude, but what kind of sense does telling me "you're more than likely to request your own" make when you know you direct everyone who mentions a problematic factive back to the same old post that descends into a clear bias for problematic factives that need to source separate for their own mental health.
It is incredibly ironic to only ever mention problematic factives that need or want to source separate, ignore multiple requests of positive for problematic factives that enjoy who they are and don't want it can't have that separation, and then turn around and talk about problematic introjects who love themselves and don't separate are valid.
Your problematic factives post mentions a couple of types, wonderful! It then goes into only shouting out negative experience, I can not explain enough how much it feels like "shoutout to problematic factives but only if they hate themselves because what happened in source was so bad that you can't just love yourself" and it is incredibly frustrating because we're told told by the people around us who pretend to be accepting that the only way we can be accepted isn't changing our names and our interest is and cutting source off completely and if we can't do that it's a hurl of insults. Positivity should be a place to get away from that, not have these stereotypes affirmed.
There's a reason I chose that blog post to reblog as incredibly frustrating as it was considering that it is meant to be for introjects but it *begins* with fictive specific positivity meaning readers will likely have fictive on the mind for the next post and has nothing for factives despite the fact that people do continue to request good factive positivity from you. The reason was because even though that blog was clearly not catered to us at all and there was not a sliver thrown in our direction, it was *all* we've been able to get from you. The best positivity we get from you is the one where you can't even give us a little nod.
This has been a problem on my mind for a long, long time. Go back and look at the difference between your two posts. One of them gives some neutral shout outs (if you are this, if you are that. Nothing attached to that, just if this fact applies) and then straight into the negatives (if you're going to therapy to not be yourself anymore). The other starts with a neutral but has SO many positives, while still giving some attention to the introjects that source separate.
There is such a CLEAR difference in how you handled these things. I'm allowed to point that out. I'm allowed to tell my followers that this post clearly either wasn't made with us in mind or didn't want to mention us specifically for whatever reason, but it's better for many us then the one made specifically for us.
I mean like. If you hadn't made a post for problematic factives I can get where my actions would have been pretty uncalled for, I could just ask. But I did ask. I asked twice, people in my inbox asked, and from what I understand, nothing that was beneficial to me or my askers was ever posted. Nothing that was as accepting and warm feeling at the blog post I reposted was posted. And idk what you think about that but I think that gives me the right to seem upset.
Introjects post
Factives post
#and of course none of this was meant to sound rude#but the whole reason this blog exists is because people HAVE BEEN asking you and if I were to submit you an ask (which i did)#you would link back to the exact same old post and a lot of us just dont feel like thst post is made in our best interest#I made this blog because i felt like you didnt care about our best interest#and there are people in my inbox whove asked you the same thing gotten the same responce and feel the same way i feel#so im incredibly uoset that you would come to me saying i just need to request something and then id get better specifics from you#because thats literally a lie and we all know it is#so take with that what you will- im not trying to stsrt beef or be the bad guy here im just trying to show problematic factives its okay
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this made me kinda happy... at least
#in the midst of another one of my “what do?” moments#where either i just go to tafe and get into library work and live a stupid little existence in sydney#or actually try and move to the netherlands and do a masters (risk as like?? i'll be doing something less employable and its more expensive#tried to talk to my mum about this and she was like “yea i settled for my career bc there was money and i didnt hate it” and i was like?#that sounds AWFUL#anyways sorry for venting on a geoguessr post
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Anything on Neglected Karai at all? Is she Splinter’s daughter? Personality, skills, relationships, pronouns, or anything at all?
nah she's a 404 imagine not found screenshot and she doesn't exist she has no pronouns skills relationships or personality and she isn't anyone's daughter she came from the void and to the void she will return. amen.
#nnstuff#ask#sorry but like. im in college. i already cant make the art i want to cuz im busy all the time#yea i know a lot of characters outside the main cast are underdeveloped#i know we barely see april#i know the foot clan basically doesnt exist yet#if this were my full time job and i got like. paid to do it or something maybe i could come up with something but as it is !#im sitting at my work desk trying not to imagine killing myself because this next assignment is going to make me miserable for#at least another full month#and i didnt get to choose my partner because everyone else had already paired up because they all just. fucking known each other somehow#even though ive been with them all since freshman year#somehow im just not friends with any of them#and all i really want to do is attempt suicide to get out of it!!#but i CANT because god knows i wouldnt succeed!! and then i'd have to face making everyone i know fucking miserable#SO!!!!#TL:DR IM WORKING ON IT
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genbu ai has been found dead in miami.
#JK JK this is really exciting im glad kotarous getting an ai singing bank first#the whole point of virvox is a variety of masc synth voices after all and hes got like a really interesting voice#like his goofy very character-y tone is pretty unique so thats gonna be pretty fun#i seriously would have thought ryuusei would be the first tho. mostly just because hes so popular#but then again his voice provider might be busy. hes doing a lot of vtuber stuff and theres the upcoming aivoice2 talk bank#and yeah i didnt think genbu would be first LOL i prophesized this......#i mean i didnt know for sure but i did think it would be kind of funny. and it is kind of funny <3#also low key... i wouldnt be surprised if they gotta hold off for a bit. genbu might be cursed? they have been so so SO unlucky with him#king of software deprecation. king of contracts falling through. hes trying. hes trying#so i was like okay the first ai singing bank might not be him KJDSHJfdsjhkfds#besides as much as i would like an ai bank for benby (i would selfishly prefer a SV bank specifically so i can have my SV conveniences LOL)#im pretty satisfied with his concatenative. if you havent noticed <3#also selfishly i hope the next singing bank announcement (whenever that is) will be sourin. i think hes another really unique vocal#and also i want that old man. i need that old man. who said that#but any of them im exicted for. the younger guys kotarou and takuto i think about a little bit less often than the others#but i still like em a lot so it'll be fun to have that (not)catboy around#when we get more info i may start planning out some songs for him to cover.... ruh roh im already considering a few....#edit: im hoping SV because i like it but i'll be fine with any engine. except someone reminded me ace studio exists#i went from no fear to one fear in seconds flat. nothing against the software ive never used it its just#subscription software is not something i can do orz. please anything but that. i will be happy with anything but that LOL
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i'm not trying to be mean but if you're not american and you have no idea how the american voting system works, maybe just shut the fuck up about the 2024 election. thanks.
#seeing a bit too many people who go 'well why can't americans just xyz' and it's s/t that literally doesn't exist in the voting system#if you want to discourse about the election maybe do some basic research on how it works first & then come back with ur loopholes#gonna be honest. losing it over how many people are tying to suggest voting third party this election. THIS election.#im sorry but the political landscape in america is so aggressively binary right now that it will literally take years to make a viable#third party candidate and so far there's been literally no one with the charisma and backing to pull it off in like 8 months#the last person to get any significant vote as an independent was 30 years ago and even that was only 18% of the vote#and he didnt even get ANY electoral votes. NONE. you cannot! win! without! the electoral votes!#something libs have been trying to fix for YEARS but can't. bc republicans know how much electoral voting helps them.#anyway im getting mad about it again but pls shut up about third-party voting until you've actually looked at third-party candidate history#bc i promise you it is actually not an option esp for an election in EIGHT MONTHS.
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i've been having bad luck with pulls in my games lately. I guess I used up all my luck with e6s1 imbibitor lunae that didn't cost me anything but all my luck it seems 😅
#if i knew firefly existed then i would have saved it for her tbh#im saving now for something i havent decided yet#but in genshin i lost my last 50/50 and just lost navias weapon. again. didnt get it last time either D:#in wuwa i didnt get yinlin. didnt get jinhsis weapon. and am now trying changli bht nit looking good#but not*#other people i know who play wuwa say you get so many pulls and they all have myltiple characters and weapons and im like HOW#ive barely had enough to get jiyan and jinhsi and im only like 30 in on changli and 30 in on weapon banner#how do some people have at least 3 characters and their weapons and say its easy because you get so mamy pulls lmao#im struggling to get more!!!!!!#just did math. 423 pulls for e6s1 imbibity. idk if thats a lot or very little but it was lucky enough to win all of them
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ASDFHJKLG PUTTING HER CHRISTMAS STUFF UP??? IS SO???? EVIL????
It is her fault for being baby-cousin. If she didn't want this to be her life, she shouldn't have been born last.
I'm the middle child of the cousins and no one dares prank me.
Because it's too hard and also I always get my revenge.
#ask#plus i have a password protected folder on my computer and 3 harddrives that is titled 'blackmail'#and everyone in my family believes I have horrible photos of them that I am fully prepared to post#nothing dirty but like embarrasing mid-sneeze photos and screen shots of embarrasing texts#so they give me a wide birth and only play the small pranks like hiding my knife at dinner#or putting sugar packets in my purse at a restaurant if I use the bathroom.#but in reality the folders are all empty#its just the existence of the folder and their own imaginations as to what is inside keeps them in line#at first when my uncle asked as a joke yes there was a funny screen shot of my grandma sneezing on a skype call when i was overseas#but the way he asked; i was trying to think of a funny retort and too much time passed so i just kept quiet with a neutral expression#and theyve been scared ever since#a lot of people think im more scheme-ie than i am simply because if i feel i havent come up with a reply in the right time frame#i just dont say anything#or cock an eyebrow and let them imagine what it means#see in HS my friends would tease me for accidentally saying something that sounded naughty and i could never get them#because i didnt have a pervy mind back then#so i started just giving them the same look theyd give me and they would freak out like i caught them#even though nothing they said sounded pervy to me#i applied the same practice to family interrogations#and if people think you know something theyll fill in everything for you
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dont think about betty on her own thinking about how she gave up so much in her life and so much she wanted to do and so much of her own independent identity to follow simon and do what he wanted to do. oh god dont think about simon telling betty he wants her by his side and she cancels her trip to stay with him and when he spins her around he leaves her standing just one step beneath him. but in the theoretical reality where he goes with her they stay on the same level the entire time. and who knows what would’ve happened. but it didn’t happen and they’ll never get to know. no changing it. betty doesn’t regret anything. they made their own choices. and don’t think about simon having this realization that changes everything way, way too late, with absolutely nothing left to do about it but just. know. and keep going. and don’t think about that being how it ends. they never see each other again. Yeah it’s too late I’m crying so much
#BANGINF MY FIST ON THE FLIOR#ME WHEN THE COUPLE WHO HAS BEEN NOTHINT BUT TRAGIC FROM THE DSY THEY SPAWNED INTO EXISTENCE CONTINUES TO BE GTRAGIC#Im.#im briefly trying to turn off my analysis brain and not consider what does or doesnt work narratively and etc#bc im sure i could get into so much and so many pathways w that but right now im turning off my brain and focusing on going .#ITS NOT FAIR#EVERYTHING THEY TRIED AND TRIED AND TRIED AND LOVED EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND.#AND THEY JUST DUG THEIR OWN METAPHORICAL GRAVES#LOVED EADCH OTHER SO MUCH AND THATS WHAT THEY GET#EVEN IMAGINIFN WHAT IF HE GOT ON THE BUS. HE DOESNT.#SHE LEAVES.#I HAVE TO DIE OR SOMETHING I DONT KNOW#[UGLY TEARS] MY FAVORITE DOOMED YURI WAS DOOMED#i dont know. what they deserved. but i am being hit with bricks#They loved each other so deeply and then they went through so much and then they tried so hard#but they made their choices and their choices mewnt theyd have to go separate ways. its better for them#And im going to DIE AND RHROW UP. IT DIDNT HAPPEN IT NEVER HAPPENED RHEYRE OKAY AND THEYEE TOGETHER AND THEYEE HAPPY LIKE THAT#PLEASE . GGGGGGGG#basilposting#atposting#fionna and cake spoilers
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...
#ever sit like a corpse in your own body?#im doing a job i wasnt designed for. theres this funny thing we do in academia where we beg for money. write in consise phrasing why we#deserve funding. what it is about our project what it is about our personhood that makes us deserving. what we're doing in our present to#give back and ensure a better future. and i can pull together a description of a nervous kid who couldn't read but loved to learn anyway.#who didnt kno how to hold proper a conversation until college and so tried and got better at ppl. who wouldnt let a language problem get in#the way of information gain. who cares about making complicated info visually digestible. and that's a nice story. but it falls apart when#projected into the future. what r u doing for the future? im just trying to continue existing#dont u want to help other ppl like u? sure but i dont have anything nice to say to them. does it ever get easier? no. it probably never will#ur brain was not built for reading. sometimes things r just terrible and u have to accept that. develop a crippling mental disorder or do#something where u dont have to read. see. not helpful. bad attitude. im just too full of blood and broken glass. all my achievements r#stained red and it hurts to look at them. to get myself to function i have to squeeze so tight i can feel the strain in my head. and even#then its not enough. do u kno what its like to spend ur whole life building something only to watch it burn to ashes in front of u? just a#broken machine rotting away underground where no one will see it. but dont let things fester. speak up if somethings wrong. and say what?#lmao i wrote this last night and then today when my advisor was like: hows it going? do u feel like u have enough time to get everything#done? and i had the gall to be like *voice strained high to prevent crying* its alright i think ive got enough time. bc yea technically i#think there r enough hours in yhr day that if i really tried i could get it all done. but that doesn't count the time i spend laying with#thr absolute desolation of my mind. so no. there isnt enough time bc im not doing well. but there's nothing he can do abt it so ya kno#whats the point in talking abt it except to say ya sorry im such a wretched miserable person. i dont kno how to fix it. my enthusiasm is#hidden under layer upon layer of pain. i burnef out before even getting here and im only making it worse#but whatever ill see my therapist Tuesday#unrelated
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i made an oc thats at least nicknamed "Stupid" and im constantly thinking about what a power move that is tbh
#toy txt post#i miss it i should play w her more often but it was going to be for a dnd thing that ive all but abandonded bc i feel like#i cant. do that but it sucks bc i had some cool fun concepts and characters but it was hard enough back then when i was just insecure and#knew nothing about dnd and was intimidated by the mechanics but wanted to try dming for some reason but now i just straight up dont know#what to do but i really enjoy those characters. i should just unlock the secret channelsand scrap the dnd game idea for now and keep the#concepts and im sure i could come up w something if i ever actually learned anything about that shit#anyway. my point being. im obsessed w my character i made up and you should be too cos its good shit#toxic anarchist half dragon demigod with authority issues whos an alloaro clown named Stupid Cupid.#i think her pronouns were whatever but also it/she? when i say toxic i mean it did have a bit of a Clown Cult.#Cupid i think is possibly its given name and Stupid was her clown ass addition and yes i do know of the song and yes it is on its playlist#obsessed w all the stupid overpowered characters i made in that universe. they were such good concepts. gulliver obviously. charybdis#silas (cupids father + previous (now deceased) god of chaos)#cupids mother who i dont think i had a name for yet but she was supposed to be kind of a neutral lawful (in a rules lawyering way)#moon paladin who hatefucked the god of chaos after failing to kill him which she was trying to do out of devotion to the moon#and she supposed to have what i can only describe as chainsaw powers? and she destroyed every gun in existence and killed anyone who knew#how to make them until there were no guns left bc silas kept being annoying w guns and was trying to use them on the moon. for reasons#so she really pissed him off and impressed him before she finally got to him and tried to kill him. and if she was even a minor god instead#of a 'mortal' it wouldve worked and thats the only reason he didnt die from her. and then her child. stupid cupid the clown#grew up and had issues and started a clown cult and wandered around usurping warlords and dictators before putting her aim on silas#and trying to kill him. but failing not bc she was mortal but bc he outsmarted it. but he couldbt bring himself to kill it so he had her#put to sleep for a thousand yrs until someone else killed him(he pissed off a stupid seagull druid who lured him into the path of Charybdis#who he'd ALSO pissed off and Charybdis mega killed him and then the gull druid was made the new god of chaos just to have someone fill the#roll but then they kind of suck at it? they did not want that much responsibility altho the immortality is nice. when they took over they#released cupid whos a bit of a legend but then the vibes are super weird bc cupid Definitely wants to usurp and take on the mantle of#chaos deity and gulliver idolizes her but doesnt feel great about just handing that over to it? and cupid has to grapple with not being the#one to kill silas. almost everyone she knew is dead. her mom isnt. the world has changed a lot. she finds out her cult is still going and#gets excited? but they have Changed. it disgusts her now. they are not the radical clowns she intended. the vibes are weird. she denounces#that and tries out piracy. she manages to get the moon paladin living chainsaw power?#despite not being aligned w their ideology at all. wow nepotism. then it was going to spiral into some fucking meta galactic shit and have#well. ran out of tags. anyway i miss this character i should figure out what im doing w this universe cos theres no way im dming rn 🙃
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it is such a shame that rainstorms are a consistent migraine trigger for me because I love the rain so much but especially I love the way that the rain makes my city look. it goes all gray and lit-from-within at civil twilight and the skyscrapers at city center stretch up so high that the shapes lose definition and it's something that I am just so so fond of.
#not to mention the classic streetlights and wet pavement. thats always been a particular little thing that ive loved#it feels more like autumn than late winter today which makes me a little upset but driving in rain is better than driving in ice at least#im in a bit of a really strange introspective mood now that ive finally cleared the worst of the migraine#a lot of stuff has happened for me lately that i havent talked about on here at all just to a couple of close friends.#and im kind of. actively trying? to stop caring so much about telling people about things.#a couple weeks ago i did something that not a soul on earth knows. and they never will. and it was SO FREEING.#<- not anything bad or whatever just. a regular thing that happened that i didnt tell anyone about.#idk. im trying a lot more lately to worry less about sharing my life and more about just living it. its good i think.#youll probably still get luke. hyperspecific emotional/contemplative oversharing in the tags sometimes#but ive been doing a lot more things that im not telling anyone about. that exist just for me. and im gonna keep doing that.#.lyr
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i have too many vanitas headcannons that i just have rattle around in my head
#mun in the moon [ ooc ]#i have no idea how he got to me so badly on this playthrough of KH#i think he only knows like. fire magic and maybe one or two other spells#i think he doesnt know healing magic at all#i know that boy doesnt know how to read and write he was raised in the KEYBLADE GRAVEYARD by XEHANORT#i think he doesnt do training matches he acts like hes fighting to the death in every fight ever#hence why he just fuckin#flops on the ground after so many fights in bbs#he just puts his entire strength and all his energy into every fight so viciously he doesnt keep stamina#so after it hes just absolutely winded#holding my head in my hands. boy whos anger comes from a deep sense of lonliness and envy because hes been alone all his life#and wants what ventus has so bad cause hes gotten so many looks into it#but he thinks the only way he can Stop feeling like that is straight up just dying. and becoming whole with him again#cause he hasnt been given the space to breathe and deprogram himself from thinking hes a monster not made to exist#which. it doesnt help in the bbs times darkness was way more villianized people didnt think you needed both!!!#so everyone would've just been like ew youre mad of darkness youre evil right away anyways even without the xehanort influence#i know he hates looking at his reflection and so many parts of himself cause hes like ew im just a mismash of ventus and sora#my boys lack of a sense of identity out of being a weapon or feeling like something not meant to exist#just meant to die to fulfill a bigger purpose and become someone else again#everyone else is trying to get out of the heart hotel hes trying to get IN#anyways. im normal now.#i have so many other thoughts but i cant word them just yet. boy who i adopted 3 days ago rotting my head
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