#i have so many other thoughts but i cant word them just yet. boy who i adopted 3 days ago rotting my head

[mouse-fantoms]

On top of being robbed of so much Juke content we’ll never get, what I think about alot is how Juke would have been approached more if it went further.

One of the (many) reasons I love jatp so much is it makes me believe their characters are real, that they have background, they have their own goals and ambitions to them, they’re fleshed out.

That moment of Flynn going “my girls got a crush and his name is Luke” and Julie going “what no?! Luke’s a ghost😳.” And Flynn saying “a cute ghost” and Julie giving in and saying “…with a perfect smile☺️” and adding that Luke is “cute air” which implies she has indeed given this Luke crush idea some thought.

That moment of just two best friends talking about the others potential crush like that’s such a good moment bc I genuinely believe that I am watching these two genuine besties just have that kind of talk with one another bc that happens!

Like that moment we have with our friends when they’re like “hey I got something to tell you 👀” or they approach you like “so… umm… I’ve been kind of noticing your behavior lately around this person.” It’s the realistic little things like that which is why I appreciate this show so much.

Julie having the line of “what no! Luke’s a ghost!” Means so much that, on top of acknowledging “hey he’s got a cute smile, and he himself is cute” she also acknowledged “…he is a ghost though…” but then our Julie being who she is (we love her for it) went “but he still do be cute though 🥰” like this is a genuine teen girl in high school having a crush

And then later on when Reggie and Alex bring up how Luke and Julie ooze chemistry (and the way that throughout the show when Julie and Luke are being cute and them, the looks that we see Reggie and Alex give like Juke and then each other is so good bc I genuinely believe like “yeah these boys are all friends with one another so of course they’d react that way to their other friend showing an interest in their fellow friend”) Luke’s like “no come on I have chemistry with everyone I sing with” HE DOES THE SAME THING JULIE DID WHEN THE EXACT SAME TOPIC EAS BROUGHT UP TO HER! (Soulmates your honor!)

Him denying it, like Julie did, implies too that he also had the thinking of “…she is alive though and I’m not” (I mean me personally I feel like Luke didn’t truly realize he liked her until later on even if there were signs earlier, just bc he seems like the kind of person where like music was his absolute everything like even if the Sunset Curve fangirls were always like ‘omg Luke is amazing 😍’, I just get the vibe that he would never really notice the advances towards him bc he is just so consumed in music and that is his whole existence, so when Reggie and Alex see that Luke appears to be falling for Julie it’s a big deal bc they’re probably like “Luke has NEVER shown any interest ever so the fact that a girl has replaced music in his life THIS IS A MASSIVE DEAL”)

And then the moment when they’re on Julie’s porch and she tries to hold his hand but ya know CANT (huge what a gut punched) and then she awkwardly looks away and he’s like “…this is an interesting little relationship you and I have” and they’re just there for a moment just looking and smiling at each other (THEY’RE FLIRTING SO MUCH WITHOUT SAYING ANY WORDS UGH TAKE ME 😩)

I am sat there genuinely believing that these are two teenagers who even though they know they’re not *supposed* to feel a way about each other, they still do. Like that scene is their confession to one another and it’s so sweet and genuine bc in that moment where Julie tries to hold his hand, they’re brought back to reality as to what they are and yet, they can’t help but still like one another and appreciate each other bc of what the other person has changed so much in their life.

AND THEN, that scene in the beginning of the last episode how Julie asks to talk to Luke (and Reggie and Alex immediately are like “oop leave them be 👀 they’re having a moment” being the greatest friends that they are) and they’re both standing there, in each others presence, it takes a moment for Julie to say what she wants to but they’re just two kids who ended up in each others lives and they know they like each other but they know they can’t act on those feelings yet they still just have this love for each other is so enduring and charming. The way Luke tells her “anything Julie you know that” MAKES ME MELT like ugh 😩 their dynamic and friendship has grown so much with each other from episode 1 to like now and it’s so just ugh it gets me

When I think how Juke could have been approached if we had gotten a chance, I would have loved to see the new like “glowing touch” development and how that would impact their dynamic. (I just imagine Reggie just hugs Julie all the time bc he can (he just seems like such a hugger and I feel like he’d give good ones🥺) and Alex also will gives her side hugs (they just take advantage of being able to physically touch her bc they don’t know how long they’re able to do it for with their new ghost development)) I feel like Luke and Julie would just be a bit apprehensive since the hand holding thing on the porch, and maybe their hug was just a one time thing.

Would have loved to see Carlos referring to Luke as “Julie’s boyfriend” (he was there for edge of great and stand tall THERES NO WAY he’s thinking anything of than “the sleeveless one is indeed my sisters boyfriend”) would be extra great too with like Luke being in the room and Carlos just says that and Julie quickly trying to make him not talk about it bc it’s embarrassing 💀 her just being like “Carlos, he’s a ghost” and him being like “…hey with you having a boyfriend are you going to have less time with Dad and I bc you’ll be busy kissing him?” And Julie’s face just goes pale as Luke takes the time to take himself out of room meanwhile his face his like bright red

Would have loved to see when Carrie’s redemption is happening and it’s Julie and Carrie and Carrie’s like “sooooo 👀 I’ve seen how you look at your guitarist” and she immediately tries to shut it down but Carrie is like “Jules, we may not have been that close in the past year and some but we’ve known each other for how long? I can see your tells!”

I just think a lot about how this ship, even though they’re not meant to like each other yet they do and still care about each other, would have been approached more if we got the chance

[shadowbriar]

Sirius Black - Time in a Bottle

Pairing : Sirius Black x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 0.7k Warning : Happens during the war. Synopsis : Whatever storm they might need to weather in the future, knowing that marrying her would be the first thing they'd do once the sun comes back up, would forever be enough for Sirius to give the day another chance. Notes : Don't forget to fill the form here if you'd like to be tagged for my future works. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕ Sirius Black's Masterlist click here. Taglist : @jsjcue @ell0ra-br3kk3r @sofiacblair @when-you-cant-think-of-anything

His occasional hums were the only sound breaking the silence of the cottage. Her cheek resting on the bare skin of his chest, legs entangled with each other, body covered only by the thin layer of bedsheets. If either of them could find a spell to freeze time in a bottle, this would certainly be the moment they'll capture.

"Humour me," Sirius says, his fingers now travels through the strands of her hair "If we managed to get out of this war, alive and unscathed, what would you do first?"

"If?" She lets out a breathy chuckle "That doesn't sound optimistic."

"Yes, well, I'm trying to be realistic."

"Realistic? Sirius Black being realistic?" She asks, looking up and raising an eyebrow at him "Who are you and what have you done to my boyfriend, Stranger?"

The boy rolled his eyes, "Just answer the question."

"Let's see," She says with a long sigh, her smile never leaving her lips "The first thing I'd do when we win the war would be.."

Sirius waited. He stares into her eyes, trying to see if there's anything she secretly wishes yet couldn't find the words to utter. He watches as her brows furrow and relax. She's certainly trying to work the gears in her head to find an answer.

And then it dawned in him. Like an episode playing in the back of his mind, replaying all of his favourite moments with her and all the things he's loved about her. He could hear her voice when she first called his name back in second year. He could see her smile when he first won the Quidditch cup. He could feel the weight of her fingers around his when he first held her hand. All of them replaying and flooding his senses like a tidal wave.

The thumping in his chest quickens. He begins to wonder about all the future possibilities for the two of them. He wonders what kind of a house would they be moving into. He wonders what kind of dress would she wear on their wedding day. He wonders how many children they would have and if they would have his eye colour or hers.

"Marry me."

His question snaps them both, blinking as he tries to process how his mouth ran faster than his brain, just as always. Sirius could see the surprise on her face as the smile on her face dilutes into an uncertain one. His mouth feels dry all of a sudden. An unexplainable lump forming on his throat and he struggles to followup with any kind of explanation to his sudden outburst.

A hesitant smile tugs on the corner of her lips, "Marry you?"

"If you'd like." He says, voice filled with uncertainty "I mean, if you couldn't find anything to do first after the war, that could be a suggestion."

"Actually, I've thought of something."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm," She nods, moving to now lay on top of him "I was thinking of going back to this cottage and redoing all the things we did tonight, as if we never left this place."

Sirius grins as he rests his hands on the sides of her waist, "That sounds nice."

"It is," She nods once again "But marrying you sounds a little bit better, I would say."

"Just a little bit?"

"Just a little bit," She coos, kissing the tip of his nose "This place is a bit hard to top, I am very fond of tonight."

"Me too," He smiles "So is that a yes then?"

She raised an eyebrow, "I didn't hear any question I should be saying a yes to."

Sirius' grin goes even wider that it practically hurts his cheeks but his heart was full. He's never felt any more loved than now and he sure would never want to risk losing this. Whatever storm they might need to weather in the future, knowing that marrying her would be the first thing they'd do once the sun comes back up, would forever be enough for Sirius to give the day another chance.

"My Darling, Sweetheart," he calls endearingly, tucking the few strands of her hair behind her ear "Would you marry me?"

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Hii~ I'll say firstly I'm keeping things strictly speculative and I'm NOT diagnosing anyone since I'm not a doctor.

I've noticed this for so long and just wanted to out this in the world asgdjdjfkf but khaotung gives me MAJOR adult with undiagnosed adhd vibes. The messy car (bottles in the front seat?!), always messy room, extremely creative hobbies and passions (song writing/ composing/singing/ acting), impulsive purchases !!!, frequently getting lost even with maps, engineering major but cant math, has a hard time rmring past events even though he's in the same location (timeblindness). I have ADHD too and I can see such a striking resemblance in me and him it’s crazy. (Ofc everybody presents with stuff like this but when it's excessive that's when you know)

I've watched and rewatched interviews and content enough to see how he tends to be a little spacey and needs to ask things twice to make sense. (People with ADHD struggle usually with too many thoughts, attention going everywhere instead of just the task at hand) And oh when I saw that gifset where he's like he asks first's help to organise his tasks for him my heart just died cz yes!!! (That's troubles with sequencing and work ordering that we folks struggle with and there's his bestie just calmly helping him out oh it made me heart hurt sm but anyway-)

He's my little aloof baby girl with 26739 facial expressions cz he cannot for the life of him calm tf down. He's so reactive and expressive and in the moment, yet he falls over his words (not all the time, yes, but A LOT). My boy is doing his fckin best and has grown so so much and I adore him for that.

His sleep habits??? Classic adhd. Can't fall asleep cz his brain wouldn't stfu. (He said that himself in one radio interview)

His shopping addiction is just him boosting his dopamine every chance he gets. And I get him. So much.

Somewhere he also talked about how he got burnt out and couldn't get out of bed and I just. I just wanted to hug this boy bcz- oh. Oh it all makes sense. (ADHD folks are notorious for burning out cz they already run on little to no fuel. They have to work extra hard for things others do without effort and that gets so goddamn hard)

Manager can’t reach him. Hyper aware of his surroundings (hence attuned and caring to everyone around him). He frequently gets distracted by fans screaming while he's talking (cz of the external stimulus) - and first has spoken on his behalf to not misunderstand him 🥹 (Again bcz ADHD makes your attention go everywhere and you can't regulate that shit)

But why am I even going on about this? There's plenty of people out there who don't have/require a diagnosis bcz they're doing just fine.

YES. YES.

This makes me all the more emotional bcz yes, people, community, friends, family when all of them pick up on your lost pieces life just gets so much bearable.

First is that person for Khaotung 100%.

He literally called First his second manager, he asks First to organise his work for him, answer for him. He looks for him everywhere because he needs him like genuinely, genuinely needs him to be there. (Like that one time he won't let him go off stage bcz he was taking pictures and didn’t want to be alone aahdhajsk)

Like we call First as the one who clings to Khaotung, let's be honest the whole company says it. But when I see Khaotung with First it's like he turns towards him like he's the sun. Pre-FK, in interviews he used to be so shy and struggle at articulating things, but with First taking the reigns he got the space to become better at his own pace and that's what I love about them sm :(

Okay I'm done. I'm just saying he might (again, keyword MIGHT) have ADHD. It's a whole spectrum and having friends around who aren’t judgemental and willing to share the load for you makes life easier and bearable and First is that person for him which just makes me admire and love this pairing even more aaagsfhjdk :((((

So, finally, what do you think about this? Sorry if this is in any way unsettling you don't have to answer it I just wanted to get it out haha

Wow anon, this is certainly a long post😅. You must have thought about it hard.

I have no training to diagnose ADHD. However, I'm glad you identify with Khaotung and sees yourself in him.

That's why most of us love the boys, yeah? In some ways or another, they are relatable and we connect with them. (On top of their kind, sweet nature, amazing acting skills plus beautiful faces of course!!!🥰🥰🥰)

Either way, some of the habits you listed above can easily be considered annoying to a lot of people. Clearly, First just finds everything Khaotung does adorable (but can you blame him? 🥺🥺🥺…look at this pookie!)

They balance each other superbly well. Yin and Yang if you want to call it ☯️

So, I agree with you when you say First is the person for Khaotung (just as Khaotung is for First)

(Khaotung towards First during an interview) ☝️

And you are absolutely right when you say that it's very easy (from the outside) to see First appears to be the "clingier" of the 2, but I suspect privately, Khaotung is just as sticky (he is just not as open about it like First, and I'll be addressing this on a different ask I got).

There is a quote by Walt Whitman (American poet) - "Keep your face towards the sunshine, and shadows will fall behind you."

And so, your statement of Khaotung looking at First like he is the sun, oh yes... he does it all the time!! (be it in official photoshoot, concerts or events)

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

Hey so you know how you made Dick speak sanskrit in your fic? lives in my head rent free.

Why did he not speak romanian. how far back in the historical timeline was his clan(??? idk how to translate the word im thinking of into english but its “ନକ୍ଷ୍ୟତ୍ର”/ “ଗୋତ୍ର”) separated from the rest? How was it not prakrit? Were his parents just trying to reconnect to their roots? Did he learn it from his parents or was it learned while trying to connect with his roots? Does he ever realise that any songs and texts are all religious? Is HE religious with how many words in sanskrit straight up reference god?Does he feel alienated with how his culture is romani but his language is indian? Does he ever realise theres only one village in the world that speaks sanskrit as a native language and its over 13,000 km away? Does it get lonely realising that even damian’s knowledge of languages cant cover it?

Im sorry for ranting but my struggle to reconnect w my culture has me projecting HARD 😭

OH BOY- I have been avoiding some asks (because I haven't had the mental strength to give each the time and love response they deserves I swear im getting to yall) But THIS one was just far too good to pass (and im bored as hell in class)

I would say I do dive a little more into my headcanon culture stuff involving Dick and even Damien in Mama Bird (which again I REALLY NEED TO UPDATE)

BUT Let the rambling begin <33

Why does he speak Sanskrit in the fic vs any other language? Simply it was the closest language I could trace similar roots to Romani ancestery too that was easily acsessible dictionary/translator that I could use in my writings.

Canonically he probably WOULD speak a dilect of Romani or Prakrit etc, but in my desperate trying to look into the language and culture half of the resources I came upon were incredibly racist even for someone who had no idea about the culture before then.

How far back in the historical timeline was his clan??? (Clan/Tribe/Family are good english translation's) Im not familiar enough with Romanian clans to assign a specific one (Though from my understanding of research, The Grayson family would be desenced from Romani people lineages that used to reside in the Indus Valley region- yet another reason for the use of Sanskrit)

Were his parents just trying to reconnect to their roots? Did he learn it from his parents or was it learned while trying to connect with his roots? I havent thought into this TOO much, but i'll say as a headcanon that his family felt a great pride in their culture as some of the lucky few who could maintain their nomadic lifestyle with the circus. His Mother was probably less connected (only knowing from her grandparents sort of thing) and rediscovered her roots after meeting his Father who was VERY in tune with his culture.

And as such tried their best to reclaim those roots and share them with Dick. So yes he learned from his parents- but they were still fully connecting themselves.

Does he ever realise that any songs and texts are all religious? Is HE religious with how many words in sanskrit straight up reference god? This is more projection but as someone who grew up in the bible belt, (Translation- American southern region nicknamed "The bible belt" because of how ingrained the Christian Faith is in both religious practice and general culture) Dick is less belief religious and more culturally religious- he will use religious phrasing, have some habits/beliefs FROM religious background without being fully invested, and even some things he doesn't realize are heavily religious until pointed out.

Aka religious pratices in the way of how your mother would teach you to put knifes in the dishwasher upside down (so they wouldnt be as much of a hazard) but something you do because its how you were told instead of thinking about the WHY as much.

Does he feel alienated with how his culture is romani but his language is indian? Does he ever realise theres only one village in the world that speaks sanskrit as a native language and its over 13,000 km away?

Now this is more complicated, I don't know much about circus life (though I do actually have a friend I can ask so might change this later) But from what I know its a VERY mixed enviornment so Dick was both entrenched in his cultural lifestyle as a nomad with his parents proudly sharing their roots, while also being exposed to dozens of other cultures that were also "his".

Aka- Dick is an amalgamation of culture to the point he both belongs in more ways than most people could ever have, and yet feels completely isolated as a result since no one else understands why he gets upset when people wish him Happy Birthday early, why he always dumps the first steep of tea, why he "pays respects" to his bike and tools, why he sets aside food just to be thrown out, etc etc

Its nice, to be able to connect with people over so much, but at the same time it sucks when his family points out "weird habits" that he hadnt even realized were strange. (Thankfully after a few long talks, people stopped commenting on Dicks habits, anyone who does faces the wrath of the Batclan and just about every Hero from Metropolis to the edge of the Milky way)

Does it get lonely realising that even damian’s knowledge of languages cant cover it?

Actually Batfam DOES know some Sanskrit just by exposure of living with Dick. The one who knows the most is probably Alfred since he was the one dealing with the rambunctious kid who would get frustrated with instructions he didnt understand (and that frustration only getting worse for English being like 5th or so language)

None of them are anywhere near fluent though, but I like to think Dick has a pen pal/friends he practices with. Also because he's terrified of losing his proficency and in turn, losing another part of his culture his parents tried so hard to give to him.

And No need to apologize! Like I said, im an outsider looking in from a very different culture but I loved reading (what little good sources I could find) about this topic. Of course if you have any insights/comments/crituqes I would love to hear about them and thank you for the ask!!

[melimpostor]

OMG you are one of if not the best aruanie artist i saw, i cant believe i have only found you now!

They were like the first ship ever for me and they still mean a lot, they are so sweet, especially in your style. The ironic thing is, that at first way back around season 1 i started to see aruanie fan art, and at the time i tought it was a bit odd (i guess i missed all the signs in the show), i liked it but i considered it somewhat of a crack ship, especially since Annie was present just for one short season then it seemed like she never actually gonna come back. And then i lost my mind when suddenly in the manga it was just straight up canon xd. It propably helped that from the begining they were my favourite characters even individually.

They are still the best ship ever, like what do you mean in her whole life she was raised for war, but then couldnt kill the one guy who didnt cared about all this conflict and revenge he just wanted to explore the world, and her decicion cost the warriors the whole mission and eventually changed the world 😭

Btw do you know of some fanfictions that you would recommend?

WaaaAAAAAA- (ಥ◡ಥ) I’m not sure i deserve such a title, but thank you very much for your kind words, I appreciate it a lot ! ♥ ♥ This blog is fairly new, i've been active here since january so it might be why -

Haha I feel you! Aruani made me feel things i never thought i would for fictional characters before. I personally shipped them from the start. I guess I was gifted with the vision and carried the curse of being judged by my AOT-enthusiast friends for years. So I understand why it felt like a crack ship at the time for some. I was pretty sure i was delusional myself- but now… SIKE !!!!!!!!!!!! I am unapologetically taking my revenge with Aruani fanart now XD

But yeah, Annie is basically the one who compromised the whole mission because of her affection for Armin. Ruthless Annie. Flawless Annie... Falling for the sweet sweet boy with cute smiles and curious eyes?? aaa i’m weAk..

As for fanfictions, I am actually new to this kind of media. I never really looked for written fan-content in any other fandoms before…well- now... But i’m happy i’m finally doing it because it opens my artistic viewpoint and this community is very talented ♥ I didn't know writing could make me feel so many emotions and keeping me involved like that. I never experienced it to that extend in the past.

That being said, it means I haven't read a lot of them yet, besides work keeps me busy and my reading is pretty slow…So for the time being i 'll suggest you take a look at this post which regroups a lot of work already (and I think reblogs have some updates too ! )

And if you wanted my personal recommandations, maybe ask me again in 6 months or 24 so I have time to catch up ! haha- sorry dear writers, i failed you for so long ;;

[wribbles]

Mermay au

Sailor!Aizawa adopts siren!shinsou

All human sailors consider sirens to be enemy beasts - intent only on killing them all. Some sailors have never seen them while others have seen many - and killed many. None who have fully fallen under the sirens' song have ever returned from the sea, drowned by the witch-beasts.

The crew Aizawa's a part of has encountered and killed many sirens. He has felt their pull himself and resisted - so much so that its almost considered a unique talent among his crewmates. He just shakes his head and tells them to stay focused.

One day after a storm, the ship docks on dry land - a small island beach - to survey and fix any damage and mess caused by the storm. Taking advantage of the chance to walk on solid ground, Shouta explores down the beach leaving the rest of the crew behind.

Near a rocky outcropping he hears a sound - like melodious talking but he cant quite make out the words over the waves. Cautious, he draws his knife and approaches.

The first thing he notices is the blood in the water. Too much. Whoever spilt it is either dead or close to.

He looks further in and she notices him the same time he recognizes her.

A siren.

His hand tightens around his knife.

She curses him, then begs him to leave her be. Pleading, not compelling.

His eyes notice what shes holding so tightly to: a child.

His grip relaxes and he all but puts his knife away. Shes dying and wants to keep her child safe, she wants him gone as much as he doesnt want to be there.

He turns to leave, pretend he never saw anything and wander around elsewhere, but she calls out to him.

Her begging for solitude turned to a cry for help. He turns back, confused.

She shakily holds the child out towards him. Shouta is mildly surprised to see two young purple eyes blink at him. The child is alive, and unharmed.

"please," she begs. She knows she won't survive. "Protect him?"

... What? He can tell she's serious but that only confuses him more. Why would she expect a human to protect her child? How would that even work, assuming he wouldnt just kill the thing outright?

She begs again and he steps closer, finally sheathing his weapon. She holds out the child and Shouta can see it has legs. No fish tail like its mother. Is it human? Can't be, no human has eyes or hair that brightly colored.

"His father - human," she says. Her eyes flick away and he follows to the corpse lying bent across the rocks. Certainly dead - definitely human. He sees the wreck of their little boat scattered around. Was she travelling with him? The child...

Shouta blinks as his worldview readjusts somewhat. So sirens and humans can intermingle, huh. Okay then. Half human half siren baby with legs. Dying siren mother. Him.

Oh goddamn it.

He cant just walk away and let a child starve to death when he could do something about it. He's not a monster.

He kneels down next to her and nods.

"Okay. Ill protect-" he glances at the child, a few years into life maybe "-him. I'll keep him safe as long as I can."

Her relief come with tears, and she clutches her boy back to chest as farewell.

Before she can give the child to Shouta, he tells her, "Take your time, say your goodbyes. Im not in a rush."

She sighs and focuses back on hiding her pain from her child. Shouta sits back and processes everything he's coming to understand about these people he thought were monsters.

He listens to her sing brightly, comforting her boy who doesnt seem to yet realize that his mother is growing pale and weak. Her dark purple eyes and hair stand out brightly against pale skin. She calls him "Hitoshi" and asks Shouta to keep him near the water - he agrees. He sees thin gills on the boy's neck but the mother holds him above shore without issue. The boy- Hitoshi's eyes and hair are a paler purple, possibly owing to his father's blond.

At some point Shouta gets up and scavenges the wreck - looking for anything useful or sentimental. He doesnt find anything - some food scattered on the rocks, already soaked through, no spare clothes other than what the father was wearing. He takes a long look at the man's face and tries to commit it to memory - to honor his memory, if not just to remember for the child's sake.

He hears something change in the mother's crooning and turns back to her.

She's at death's door now. When she holds Hitoshi out to him, this time Shouta takes the child. The boy blinks at him, confused but unafraid. Shouta holds him close under his jacket.

He looks back at the mother.

"thank you," she says. "Treat him well, good man. Protect him. Please."

Shouta feels the burden of what he's accepted land on his shoulders. He breathes through the weight.

"I will do everything I can for him." He promises.

She watches Hitoshi as she lays in the sand and doesnt get up again.

Shouta sighs.

"Alright then. Back to the ship for us."

Hitoshi blinks, his gills flex, he sits calmly. Shouta refuses to question his choices.

He stands, and carefully climbs back over the rocks, mentally rehearsing what he's going to say to the crew and captain.

[domjaehyun]

omg i was notttt prepared for smut in the first quarter and yet we're spiTTINGGG????? haechan u freak (me too i guess)

tbim making me feel so many things likeee it's all such a mess (which i love does that make me a masochist idk) and i feel so bad for every fucking character like yn is confused and haechan is a dick (in every sense) and winter is pretty self explanatory and then there's jeno who got dragged into it poor boy. and all of their friends myyyy god if i was one of them i would be torrrnn any decision they decide make regarding yn and hyuck it's like basically picking sides and i would feel so fucking bad if i had to

and i just want to add a tier of my fav your work of yours and idc if udc

1.pussy fiend (been here since it came out literally never leaving)

2.tangerine love (weirdly a very comforting fic likeeee what's wrong with meeee)

3.the boy is mine (new entry might even rank up based on the ending have so much hope for this one)

and i wanted the patreon contents sooooo bad but i live on the other side of the world and when the currency is converted its craaaazyyy im so sorry ill just have to imagine shit myself and support u morally ig if i am any help

OMG HEHEHE HI HI

yeah we’re spitting IN MY DEFENSE THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE LONG FIC I DIDNT MEAN TO COME OUT THE GATE SWINGING WITH SPITTING IN THE FIRST SCENE OF PART 5 😭 yeah me too that’s hot hehe

I’M SO HAPPY YOU SAID THAT that means im doing something right :D I DONT THINK IT MAKES YOU A MASOCHIST it makes you human. it makes you curious. feeling emotions is what makes life worth living (and hopefully the good emotions are powerful enough to make you stick through the bad ones) so wanting to read complex situations with a myriad of emotions makes total sense! it’s more realistic than, like, i am…… bc ideally i would never have angst ever ever ever only happy thoughts at all times :D and yeah they’re all going through it EVEN HAECHAN GIVE HIM A BIT OF GRACE!!!!

OF COURSE I CARE I LOVE KNOWING WHAT PEOPLE LOVED MOST OUT OF MY WORKS !!!!! now im going down 1 by 1:

1. pussy fiend — this is fair i love pussy fiend it’s perfect perverted lovesick haechan like what is wrong with that boy and can he date me

2. TANGERINE LOVE MEANS SO MUCH TO ME I ADORE IT HE’S SO . FJKGLDSJKGFJKLDKJ I CANT EVEN FORMULATE WORDS something abt that specific haechan is so dreamy. its one of the first times i considered like . him just knowing she likes him from the get go like in pussy fiend he figures it out at the end but in tangerine love he can tell like from the beginning and theres no playing around with her emotions, he’s just very earnest while still being hot and flirtatious and playful and i love that so much

3. HEHEHE well i hope it ranks up but i would understand if it stayed in the same place bc i am not sure how you want the ending to go,,,,, but i hope it goes the way you wanted!!!!!!!!! :D

AND i was thinking about this earlier but if you wanted to like . paypal/venmo/cashapp me the $6, i could share the tbim patreon content with you!!! like if you can’t do a monthly subscription i totally get it bc we’ve all got stuff going on !!!! i’ve already done it for one person and i wouldn’t mind doing it again!! if you’re interested u could come off anon and i could work something out w you? up to you though no pressure 💖 THANK YOU SO MUCH DARLING THIS MADE ME SO HAPPY have a great day ily 🫂

[rebuke-me]

im giving you permission to ramble more about the ever after high au

I AM KISSING U ON THE MOUTH /p

okay. okay. im gonna ramble under the cut bc i have so many thoughts.

crash course for new readers: son of cinderella jeremy, charming kids brooke and jake (they're cousins), pied piper kid michael, daughter of the boy who cried wolf jenna, beauty and the beast kid chloe, alice in wonderland daughter christine, and goldilocks kid rich.

chloe and brooke are constantly at odds. they're always together because they're both princesses. they HATE each other but cant ever seem to leave. chloe keeps putting brooke down because chloe has a story, a destiny, and brooke doesn't. she's a princess, she's beauty, she's a big deal. and brooke's just a charming, not even a specific princess. she doesn't have beautiful hair or glass slippers or anything. she's just... a damsel. in distress. but she's kind and caring and wants to help, but she's not beauty, right? and then chloe ends up being the beast. she's the beast and brooke's HER beauty, and brooke puts her foot down and says no. she's not going to be in chloe's shadow anymore. she's not going to bend over backwards for HER story, for HER development. she's not going to be nice and kind just because chloe needs her. and that's how brooke becomes a rebel.

rich has a lot of pressure on him, ever since he was a kid. he's always told to be just right. he's goldilocks, the pretty little girl who takes over a poor family's life and cares so much about perfection. too tomboyish, too awkward, nothing's just right. he doesn't feel right pretending, either. so he cuts off his golden curls. he shears them off and finally, for once in his life, he feels just right. he goes by rich now, and the gold theme finally feels earned.

jenna rolan will never be believed. she knows no one will listen to her, even if she tells the truth. because no one can EVER think she's telling the truth. she never can, anyways. there's always a little white lie that slips in. she can't help it, her mouth runs for her. her friends all keep her around for gossip with a grain of salt inside. she's not even a BIG story. she gets eaten by wolves, and she can't even feel righteously angry about it. no one will ever believe her, and yet she still keeps pouring as much of her truth into her words as fate will let her.

christine's always a little out of the loop. she's from outside this world, but not quite. she should be fine. she's alice, of course, she's just a normal girl who happens to fall into wonderland. but she's too curious, too wild, too eccentric. she's seen as not quite one, not quite the other. too wild for wonderland, too normal for ever after. she lays awake at night, wishing she could hear the narrators, like the other wonderland kids. or wishing that she could know the right words to say, like the ever after kids.

michael loves his music, but keeps most of it to himself, playing it over his headphones instead of out loud. he's not a villain, not technically, but he doesn't like it when people have the idea that he's somehow making them do things. he doesn't play his music out loud, doesn't want to call a plague of rats to him, doesn't want to bring kids away. he was adopted, anyways, maybe these powers will go away. but he knows that it'll happen, and he'll leave, and it'll be fine. but he still takes the first opportunity of rebellion.

jeremy and jake know each other since childhood. they're royals, of course. they don't get along at first. jeremy's a princess kid, and clearly. and then his story's started early, with his stepmother. his only solace is his little sister, the destined ugly stepsister. he doesn't want that for her. doesn't want her to feel ugly, or evil. and jake's the charming, going to be the beast and the prince of chloe. or at least, they think so. but things shift. they talk again, and it's easy now. they get along, they have things in common. they risk their happily ever afters. and then the storybook of legends, and the signing. jake was going to sign anyways, of course. he didn't know not signing was an option. but then he sees what the future holds for him. he's not chloe's prince, he's not the beast they've wanted him to be. he's jeremy's. he whisks him away, he finds his shoe, he... pulls him away from his sister, his family. there's no ending where jeremy has both. but selfishly, he signs. and then rich refuses to sign, refuses to be just right. and jeremy doesn't sign either. and jake doesn't tell him that he signed because he saw them together. because he doesn't want to make jeremy choose between him and his family, between a happily ever after and the right to freedom. and jeremy thinks that jake saw his future with chloe and chose her over him, because of course he would. why would jake ever choose him in the long run? isn't that a tragedy?

[shiftingtomydrs]

I've never read the Shatter Me series despite my friend telling me to so what's your dr like?

thanks so much for asking <3

i already made an introduction post for the dr which you can find here

spoiler alert under the cut for prolly all the books since my head likes to mix up what info is in which book

the shatter me series is set in a dystopian world, basically humans fucked the world up enough to more or less make it unliveable in (food was poisoned cos animals ate trash and shit e.g., illnesses like cancer were very common etc.) and then the re-establishment takes over. the re-establishment was elected by the people, promising to re-establish life as they knew it (spoiler alert: they didnt) and then took over the world, turning it into district 12 from the hunger games more or less, except its more technologically advanced (the technology is used to monitor civilians tho not to help them) while the psychopaths (really theres no better word, i dont even think that word is strong enough) at the top enjoy life

now more on my backstory (its basically just juliettes backstory from the books cos i dont have a creative bone in my body):

i was created by evie sommers (juliettes mother) whos also the supreme commander (kinda like president) of oceania in a petri dish out of her dna and maybe someone elses? idk but she modified the dna to basically make me the perfect specimen for her little project. my memories of all this are erased regularly btw so i dont talk about it to other people i coincidentally meet (this is before the re-establishment took over completely, which happens when im around 13-16?) bcs what shes doing is obviously lowkey illegal. anyway at some point (in my head when im around 4-5) she starts letting me play with the kids from the other future surpreme commanders (theres one for each continent) which is also where i get my name (as a project i dont need a name so evie never gave me one) which is juliette (its a bit complicated but basically juliette in the book is really called ella so for the sake of logic ill call her ella from now on and im juliette) and was given to me by aaron cos he likes shakespear and thought it fit me soo juliette it was. after evie discovers emmalines (ellas sister) abilities she decides to abandon me and puts me into a foster family similar to ella in the u.s. (for plots aka aaron and my love stories sake) and since theres this whole plot no-matter-how-many-times-they-erase-my-and-aarons-memories-we-always-fall-in-love-again anderson (aarons dad) thought itd be funny to make ellas undercover name juliette ferrars to see if itd make aaron change his mind (he does these fucked up little experiments for fun) or smth idk i dont understand that guy. anyway my powers (also in the introduction post) start manifesting when im like 10 or so and we have to move a lot after cos i cant control my powers yet. when im 14 it all escalates when i accidentally kill a classmate with my powers (he was an ass tho not to excuse my behavior but just wanted to add that) and after that my parents decide its best for them to give up guardianship for me and hand me over to the re-establishment / government. ella at this point already escaped her family to omega point before she ever touches that little boy in the grocery store. anyway the next few years are a lot of moving in between facilities and rehabilitation centers which ends with them locking me away in an asylum when im 16 and thats the point i shift to.

after that its mostly just the plot of the books which is i get pulled out of the asylum after a little less than a year on aarons orders, he wants to use me as a weapon for the re-establishment (but secretly not), i escape with adam (temporary love interest) and get to omega point along with kenji and then anderson takes 2 hostages from omega point and wants me as an exchange, i shoot him, we kidnap aaron, bla bla adam and i break up, aaron and i have this denial thing (from my side), aaron escapes, omega point fights against the re-establishment and gets defeated, anderson shoots me to teach aaron a lesson, i survive cos aaron saves me, we find the survivors of omega point, aaron gets them on base, we kill anderson and take over north america and then after that its the other books which are a bit more complicated but i can get into that too if anyone would like me to :)

now that i read it back its a tiny little bit confusing soo if you have any questions feel free to ask <3

[ask-paradox-and-friends]

Mk style intros godkillers edition start with kaito. (Let's just say he has limited telepathy for these.)

Kaito1:same regrets?

Kaito2:last to die?

Kaito1:I was the first.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito1:so about Aki? Is he Akari's lover?

Kaito2:no. She has Maki. I think Aki is into someone else.

Kaito1:who the hell is Maki?

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito1:so is it like mine? The...similarities?

Katio2:I'm not kaigaku. I'm more a Akaza.

Kaito1:so...not a hashira.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:you again?

Posiden:I was too lenient.

Kaito:so you can learn.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:I know this smell.

Posiden:be careful with your words boy.

Kaito:You related to Gyuko?

----------------------------------------------------------

Posiden:You mortals have lot to answer for.

Kaito:Which idiot brother?

Posiden:Don't you EVER call him that.

----------------------------------------------------------

Paradox:20$ I'll beat your ass!

Kaito:I don't wager money or possessions.

Paradox:fine fine I'll just rub it in your face.

----------------------------------------------------------

Paradox:so you got a super nose?

Kaito:Thrud wears perfume now? Also, your fly's open.

Paradox:son of a..AH ****!

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:I smell...Flowers?

Shiva:Your father would know.

Kaito:you smell like you ate them...or was laying nude in them.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:so heard a rumor.

Shiva:I DIDNT DO IT!

Kaito:so you DID eat all the damn Mochi!

----------------------------------------------------------

Shiva:hey got a message you can deliver?

Kaito:No I'm not Bhudda's mailman.

Shiva:no. Tell amatarasu's GF to leave Parvati alone!

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:I'm sorry...you were..what?

Tsugu:well originally it was supposed to be Ran and others but I was a devil hunter?

Kaito:YOU WERE FUCKING 16! WHY THE HELL ARE THEY STILL USING CHILDREN!? Freaking cowards...

----------------------------------------------------------

Tsugu:say what's Perfect pitch?

Kaito:the ability to perfectly copy or mimic any music or song you hear with the correct instruments. Why?

Tsugu:oh so that's what they ment...thought it was a band..or a song.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:you remind me of my old master.

Herc:really?

Kaito:yes.

----------------------------------------------------------

Herc:a demon? Fighting for humans? And you were a slayer?

Kaito:do I look like muzan or Kokushibo?

Hercules:right..sorry.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:the hell?

Zero:huh?

Kaito:i..nothing..I just am coming to grips with things.

----------------------------------------------------------

Zero:hi mister! Have you seen my friends? Or my brother?

Kaito:resist the urge...you cant...Mido would break things...

Zero:huh?

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:large bastard aren't you?

Haujin:you dare insect?

Kaito:I've fought a train and yet you're still the bigger asshole.

----------------------------------------------------------

Hajun:your powers are like mine...

Kaito:unlike you I know how to use them.

Hajun:but mine are stronger!

----------------------------------------------------------

Hades:I'm sorry but you are the one that took my brother.

Kaito:I understand but reconsider.

Hades:I have. Many times.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:as brothers we have a duty.

Hades:yes. That we do.

Kaito:so do not fault me. I fought for my sisters. You fight for your bothers.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:Sire.

Derail:none of that. We've been over this.

Kaito:it is an honor. So let me give you due respect.

----------------------------------------------------------

Derail:so..about that question.

Kaito:yes?

Derail:no. I don't believe any of my guards know what you are talking about when you bring up a..certain demon.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:so that hero killer's name was..who again?

Deku:stain. Or Chizome. Why?

Kaito:...i...might have decapitated him.

----------------------------------------------------------

Deku:I feel like you and the current number one wouldn't get along.

Kaito:please no.

Deku:I swear if I wake up to the headline 'Endeavor found gutted!' I'm throwing you to Mai.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:Yep..definitely Rengoku.

Sunblood:huh?

Kaito:nothing.

----------------------------------------------------------

Sunblood:hello again! Careful you don't cut me!

Kaito:you're not funny.

Sunblood:aw...

----------------------------------------------------------

Beelzebub:your sword and powers are nothing special.

Kaito:same can be said about you Buzzbug

Beelzebub:I've heard better.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:odd.

Beelzebub:what?

Kaito:you are covered in the smell of pity. That and Lilith's shampoo.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:I'm just saying someone has to bring Ares down a peg. And ill--

Mai:ill call Eve on you.

Kaito:NEVERMIND!

----------------------------------------------------------

Mai:so with this new world made from all our worlds being merged into one....

Kaito:people think I'm a descendant of Apollo or Artemis.

Mai:not what I'd say.

----------------------------------------------------------

Zues:OH HOHOHO! I KMOW YOU!

Kaito:haven't brushed since Hera?

Zues:and here I was going to make it quick.

----------------------------------------------------------

Kaito:really? A bulky form?

Zues:like it?

Kaito:blindness has its upsides.

(I'll do more if I can think of more.)

(Also for the hell of it. I'll do a DLC pack.)

[otakebi-cam-wao]

produce 101 ep 4 - from a harowota (thoughts in real time)

Okay so i guess just the teams

Hype Boy

HypEST

Kokona says they mixed acting in it

Fuka's group now!!! (second group shown)

Fuka's cute

oh right this group has Koto in it

Rinon stands more says Yumeki, on the other side Yuuki doesn't stand at all...

Yuuki tells Nakasone she doesn't know how to express the song, flashbacks to the audition mainly and solo part choosing

I want Nakasone as life coach and to teach me how to dance with what she told, not only for Yuuki, but mainly

Rinon has what usually happens to me, i run some lines, sometimes

Kokona has no confidence to be center...

Kokona started to cry on rehearsal w Yumeki but the rest literally told her she can do it, they're SO SWEET

I trust this group more

friends intro with selfie?

uuuuu Koto!

Everyone at the moment

this group is wearing more jeans lol

awww Fuka

who was the blonde here? nice nice

Fuka speeded up a bit

Koto being cool while Kokona freezed in cute

cute Kokona tbh

nice nice, but sometimes they speeded up says Yumeki

cute tho

Yuuki nice

Kokuhaku kenkyuusei? (CONFESSION TRAINEES)

Runa reveals they sand in korean appear

shown first!!!

so this is true

Arisa studies korean as hobby, Natsuho says she can read hangul, Airi says sometimes she understands meanings

Runa felt anxious while rehearsals okay

Lee Hongi? tells Runa to practice pronunciation makes sense, one of the reasons i'm not into kpop (like the #100) is that the pronunciation is so weird for me as spanish speaker

Nakasone says good ideas colliding with emotions to make others understand okay okay

Natsuho suggest to add ballet, interesting

Yumeki is a sweetheart with them in the general rehearsal

Hongi says Aiko voice is nice

Performance

In line is cute intro from them

Emi? with intensity in the intro

wow their coreo arrangement (i guess) is nice with the ballet-ish moves in between

cute performance, i agree with EVERYONE

Natsuho ballet is the best

dunno if the other team is better yet, but i don't think they win as team in vs, but! i agree with Nakasone, feels fresh

Comments

Airi (group 2) said they choosed characters for each one

Points time!

let's see this!!!

Koto 31 Natsuho 5, i mean Koto is class A, but she is also so cool at dancing

noooo Fuka 3 Aiko 13 (i like Fuka she cute and soft and funny)

Aki (Blonde!) 10 Emi 45 now i really wonder who will win

Rinon 61 Arisa 3 wow (Arisa felt a bit discouraged as couldn't find anyone with a sign w her name, sad)

Yuuki 64 and Runa 35, so group 1 or 2?

Kokona 84 Airi 37, yeah group 1 won, i knew it withouth seeing them perform, sadly

FIESTA

random fact i say "i zone" but is like "ice(?) one"? "easy one" makes more sense in my mind, but okay (also, i didn't follow them nor P48)

ONever

I see gyaru!

apparently group had it hard vocally...?

lotta dancers here (w experience)

this are the tone deaf ones? i'll oshi Yurara? (i must oshi a tone deaf girl)

Sakura (gyaru) also tone deaf

Miyu saves w singing? i hope

Ah Tsuzumi helps for their last day of rehearsals!

the gyaru has nice voice, but she cant (as most of her group) hit the right notes

poor tone deaf girls!, i swear i hope Miyu saves it, this is a dance team...

i hope the best for them now

well nice dancing ofc, and charisma

Gyaru went out of tone badly on her solos

Rena also went a bit out

I'm Tsuzumi yelling "Rena kawaii yo"

Miyu's killing, yeah, she's saving this group

Yurara looks cool cute

damn, the vocal senseis are complexed rn

dance senseis seem nice w dance

NON blink

the 'murican!

oh here's the ex-HKT48 Rimika.... i don't trust her... (not as harowota, as someone who felt iiiiiii whit her re-evaluation video)

I trust Jueri, nice Jueri leader

oh, Jueri is changing the choreo they have?

Rimika got hit by Nakasone words

WAIT HERE IS THE OTHER BBY TAKAHASHI... eh... Hina?

hmmm Rimika troubles in many things apparently (everything in the show must be hitting her HKT48 former idol pride...?)

fake self confidence revealed, also the reason of her isolation (not wanting to be in the group apparently)

awww Jueri

Nakasone is so nice!!!! this is like group therapy

LET'S GOOOO

Ameli looks so cool cute

awww Hina!!!!

wait Hina is main vocal?! nice

Rimika is center then

Jueri deserves a lower pitched song or lines at least

ahhhh Jueri's voice hurted me as it broke a bit

Ameli reminds me a bit of my dear crazy english speaker Arisawa Ichika... this is random thought

winners i think

POINTS

Rena 2 Jueri 6 (sad for both)

Miyu 22 Ameli 10

Sakura 28 Honoka 68

Rio 2 Yuka 71 this is a big gap, so sad for rio

Yurara 26 Rimika 64, undestandable tbh, i think, i still like Yurara cute cool more tho

Riro 4 HINA BBY 82 OH MY GOD, well done bby, deserved it, i even forgot Riro was main vocalist here

CHEER UP

Love Potion

Karen looked for cute girls

ah this one has the twins! she definitely wants cute

wanted the song cuz cute lyrics

everyone except Maho (leader) wanted to center

Riko center (i thought it)

Sakura cant talk cuz scared as a C class girl

she felt bad and stopped practice and they became a mess, sad

complex communication here (twins afraid to talk as they're not close to the rest)

they bring it up a nioce atmosphere when Sakura recovered, nice

show time

i can't they're too cute!!!!

Mikoto out tone?

nice rap i guess

Sakura goes wild!!! (not really, but yeah)

cute cute cute cute

everyone cute

Sakura amazing

Twins not 100% twining tho(?)

Honey and Chili

Aruha tried to make everyone stand out w the dance

No one seems to suit the song at first (too cool for such a cute song)

Aruha and Seia are the ones i think could fit cute if they work hard

problems w choreo

ohhh the "doesn't fit me/haven't done this so i can't give my all yet"

c'mon Nakasone cheer up the 2nd cheer up group!!!

they're finding the way!!!

embrace cuteness (says the one who neglects cutness even tho they want to cute)

performance!!!

surprise kawaii!!!

i think the same nakasone, energy up pls

who's the red headed? i forgot the biggest cuteness surprise with the tall one sub vocal 2

ohhh coolness on the rap part

nice end

they were able to get the cute they didn't thought they could

Points

Mikoto 10 Seia 7

Kotone 11 Mitsuki 46 i wonder if no one get mikoto and kotone mixed up

OHHHHH A TIE Karen- Aruha 35

Riko 12 Ayaka 37 the cool ones are winning, had better vocals in my opinion (and Anon surprised, lol her name)

Maho 4 Anon 56

Sakura 139 Sayaka 6 OH MY GOD SAKURA GAVE THEM THE WIN! (i agree she was 10/10 between both teams

Tokyo Girl

Mel-fish

group without experience, in general, please surprise me

ahhh Haruka is a INTP girly i forget but i support anyways (also her face reminds me of Yanagawa Nanami)

heavy preassure from the other group lead by Ran and Kassa

Mana is leader? she pretty... ohhhhh she's older than me, i was looking for the older one!!! cyz i forgot who was

awww Haruka has many troubles to remember all, Haruka is me (?) (not really...)

Mika? and Mana are the ones that can handle it more...?

even tho Yumeki says she's not focused, makes sense she's worried for the babies she has there

Okay Mana being mom/teacher here

I'd think the same as Haruka if i was against that other team!

Rio was leader ooooo

this team needs hardwork, and Mana is nee-san for them so must do her best

relying on each other, good

i don't expect a lot from them but to surprise me considering who are they going against

ohhh rehearsaling whole day

final class lets see!

Yumeki smiles!!!! good sign!!! he's surprised!!!

they'll surprise me, right? especially if i compare my expectations from them, theyr performance and the other's group they'll surprise me, i hope so

performance

wow nice

perfume is so good btw and i always forget to listen

ooooo haruka

i'm being surprised

same Hongi, nice expressions

Mana is beautifull btw

what was Mana's previous experience? the theater girls?

Haruka makes me awww so hard here

dance break-end wow

yeah, they surprised me, they will lose but surprised me a lot

😮AWAKE (had to add the emoji)

the name sounds so... something Kassa would come up with

btw... KASSA! (Momona for the non harowotas(?)) RAN! MOMOKA! KEIKO!

"aruku aruku cha cha cha" -Ishii Ran

I trust them cuz Kassa was a while on H!P's dance club, has a nice voice, and then many girls i liked a lot

tho i'm worried bout Momoka's voice with this song, will it fit?

LET'S GO RAN!!! Ran's wants to compete w Miu againt

Kassa showing the experience

Tsuzumi bby helping them randomly lol (mostly Momoka, right?)

oh right, Kassa center!

Yumeki says they're the best group as far as first class i guess

Miu's group visiting, this is to fuel the rivalry, specifically Ran's and Miu's

But also to study

Nice rivalry love it

Ran feels she lacks something after seeing Miu's grouop oooooo

Ran is doubting OMG

Nakasone knows, she's so mother, be my 2nd mother please, therapist, life coach, dance teacher pls!!!

ohhh Keiko glasses

let's go Ran...

show!

uaaaaaa!!! ahhhh Kassa, Ranm everyone

nice Keiko

Momoka fits v well omg

aaaa Ran nice

nice Keiko yelling omg boosting this up

Ranka cool btw

me too touched nakasone

ohh wait Momoka is main vocal? nice

wow Ran killing this

they slay!

a bit over expcted, specially from F class girly i forgot (ranka?)

will win

Points

Mana 20 (me bit sad) Ranka 23 nice smol gap

Haruka 18 Keiko 21 smol gap again, don't worry Haruka, you also did good

Mika 3 Nonoka 7... tbf, i ignored them unvoluntarily, so...

Nana 7 Momoka 73 i want to celebrate for my husky voiced girl, but Nana did well i feel sad to celebrate (goooo momoka)

Rio 12 Momona 93, expected sorry, AND I WATCH THIS CUZ OF KASSA SO I MUST CELEBRATE, i feel bad tho... (go Kassa)

POOR SARA, DUDE THIS IS BRUTAL GAP, EXPECTED BUT BRUTAL

Sara 1 Ran 123 DUDE! i really feel bad i cannot celebrate a girl in my ranking now (i mean Ran)

61-340 is brutal, but again expected in a way

awww the hug!!!

NOW FINALLY MIU'S GROUP!

Body & Soul

Miu's group which name i forgot rn

ONCE AGAIN I LOVE HOW THEY HELPED THE OTHER TEAM, AND THIS COULD BE SOMETHING KASSA SHOULD HAVE DONE

not them finding out SPEED was a girl group lol these gen z girls (i knew cuz i've researched jpop)

ohhh Kokoro is leader

ohhh Miu's direct with things she doesn't like, so it seems conflictive (Miu is what i avoid to be)

Kokoro has nice words, for Miu's moment and life i think

Nakasone's classes are so funny

I kinda get you Miu... on those views

NAKASONE STOP BEING SO MOTHER

wow Rino went real mother with Miu, that's so cute and nice

LET'S GO MIU!!!

team meeting group therapy, this is nice

lol Nano fell asleep momentaneusly

they all need group therapies here at every time

nice rap Suzu

Kokoro's voice is so soft idk

let's see what Yumeki says...

over 100 OHHHH

Tsuzumi is cute

Nano is funny in an unexpected way

they're playing somehow, this look so cute

yes Kokoro, i think so as well

showtime

same nakasone, can't believe suzu is 16

ii tsuzumi

ohhhh Tsuzumi is main vocal, nice

Kokoro's voice has something interesting

ohhh Hazuki, Suzu!!!! let's go

Kassa is really focusedto Miu's group

nice nice tbh

they won obviously, but still the other team had a lot of inconvinience and hard work

Points

i hope team one has nice points cuz of the troubles they had and cuz miu's group helped them

Meika 1 Hazuki 11 sad for both

Kokona 11 Nano 26, wow this is close for the moment, i like this

Serina 13 Kokoro 61, somehow expected

Kano 1 Suzu 54, i mean... yeah... expected

Rin 8 Miu 28, expected, but girl Rin had a lot going on, i'm proud of her and her group

ofc Rin, you just can accept it

i hope for a bright idol future for Aito Rin

Shizuku 16 and Tsuzumi something (high ofc... just reveal it)

ofc Miu's group won

cute Tsuzumi btw

awwww Tsuzumi's "daisuki" to her group!

OKAY BUT TSUZUMI'S VOTES?!

Who won?

okay group 1 for how you like that, 2 for love dive, 2 for seifuku no manekin (LET'S GO AYANE!!!), 1 for hype boy, 2 for Tokyo girl, 2 for Fiesta, 1 for Cheer up and 2 for body & soul

over all winner is?!?!?!?!

Body & Soul group 2 (Miu's avengers group)

i somehow expected it... but group 2 for Tokyo Girl (Ran's) and group 2 for Seifuku no Manekin (where Ayane was) were good af (biased tho)

Ohhhh the ranking? here?

many ties wow

i won't write the fricking ranking here

wow Miu had 28 votes and got 43rd, shocking

i won't say the ranking but wow nice the 3 to 11

top 1 is between Tsuzumi and Ayane AAAAAAA

Tsuzumi has the crown, let's go Ayane, you can steal it

this is fun cuz Kassa got 5th and i'm originally and mainly supporting her

ohhh so Tsuzumi had 172 votes

congrats Tsuzumi

clap clap clap clap

oh right the 3000 votes thingy, so unfair

wait, i'm confucción now, how does this work? each wining group got 3000 extra votes? it seems that happened... idk, me confussion

i just want all of these girls to debut

i hope Kotone goes up cuz i don't want her leaving now

oh so it was 1 week learning and rehearsal

next week dance battle

AND I HEARD RENAI REVOLUTION 21?!?!

HIDDEN CAMERA?! OMG

lol explaining MBTI and showing with them nice

lol Tsuzumi guessing IZ*ONE yelling lol lol

and idk who lost her hearing after that lol lol

Tsuzumi loud ENFP bby

Honoka is reaction ENFP lol

S. Miu's unexpresiveness ISTP (crying in the inside, me until i'm alone)

i want to see this more lol

[ducknotinarow]

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡ ( for Usagi - all verses pls uwu )

| For every "♡" I get I'll give a tip on how to win my muse's heart.

*Since I write a few more usgai's I decided to divide the hears up for each one uwu.

So you have fallen for the rabbit Ronin who has lived a life mostly built on solitude? As someone who spends a great deal alone truth be told he loves companionship and

♡ "Someone of great sword skill would be eye catching."

I will forever love that no matter what Usagi and Leo will always, ALWAYS, fight when they meet friendly or not its gonna happen. Usagi may live in New York (which makes me laugh he just there now XD) Usagi even when assuimng the turtles to be bad couldn't help but point out Leo's own skills. Usagi is a swordsmen first so him complimenting another is a big deal for him to show he notices another's skills.

♡ "Those who stick to their honor"

Usagi, is someone who even against his will, sticks to what he finds and sees as honor. Usagi's honor is his whole being. SO the fact Leo is someone who can understand that and even defend his actions when he had to do as Shredder ordered? And helped him out from the situation? How can't usagi be grateful for someone so thoughtful and kind uwu

♡ "Those who will fight to the end."

See this can go for either turtle he has an eye for uwu Both Leo and Don have shown that no matter the odds or numbers of a fight? They are willing to step up and fight. Usagi has fought along both of them and well let's just say he has gotten heart eyes watching them uwu

♡

"Being a warrior comes with a lot of trails, and I have seen many let their hearts be tainted. So thought who stand to be kind still?"

Usagi can't help but find those who are willing to help others to be very appealing. Usagi world is far more hostile even his closest friend Gen cant fall into temptations of gambling and such so kind heart people do tend to get Usagi's attention the most.

♡ "I tend to find stubbornness annoying but also attractive."

Say what you want but Leo's stubborn ass for sure is what got under Usagi's skin enough to fight with him even when they were on the same side later on. Leo can be head strong himself and stick to his guns like when he got upset about the cliff stuff. But this stubborn side was pretty big asset to beating Jei in the end (so they thought but still) uwu this can also apply towards Jei as well seeing how guys about as stubborn as they come about welllll everything XD Look Usagi can find an appealing and seeing how we have that they dated before? I feel it was what started usagi's attractive uwu

♡ "I do not often spend time around others so I do enjoy company when given."

Yeah boys kind of lonely lets be honest uwu Usagi meets people here and there sure but he doesn't often get to meet others all to much. So he also doesn't get to know others all to much either as it stands. But time spent traveling and such? Yeah that dose allow the chance to talk between destinations and learn about each other. I just feel Like Usagi would be very curious about Leo's world and could see them having talked a lot in their travels uwu.

MM Usagi uwu

♡

"Well I kind of find Leo funny? What's not to like about that? " Leo is funny if not a little Awkward but it's cute and enduring to Usagi. He likes how Leo can't really lie or stumbles over his words even. It's hard not to find cute to the rabbit, it makes Leo not seem so intimating but its clearly a side Leo means to display but what can he saw Leo's little quirks have captivated him uwu.

♡

" Leo's very trust worthy "

I haven't posted on Usagi for this verse yet! but I will say Usagi's gonna have trust issues but Leo's just so earnest that its gonna help a long way with getting the rabbit from feeling skittish and needing be on a constant defense around Leo at least.

[blucassiopeia]

so in Dangerous Oikawa has to give a. massive apology to reader BUT BUT BUT (unless i misunderstood) Iwaizumi owes an apology too to readers.

it wasn’t really mentioned in the fic if iwaizumi kept in touch with oikawa after the bistro incident…and as far as it was revealed he knew little to nothing about reader and her relationship with oikawa. IF SO then he had no right in lowkey gaslighting oikawa in that phone call saying he could not drop his (their) dream just for reader and then saying she was just a Ran’s placeholder AS if oikawa could/should never move on from Ran - unconsciously he was already movin on….

also i don’t recall, in the bistro incident who (if osamu or Ran’s man) in the end told oikawa to stay away from ran (forever i suppose)…then during the wedding day the gc was full of pictures of them being happy and oikawa left the gc BUT Osamu added him again 🥴🥴 what’s with this toxicity

he fucked up, no one can deny it, BUT it takes two to have an affair (if that’s what really happened) unless the cheater lies about their single status. Let’s not forget that in the end Ran told oikawa that she would always choose her boyfriend (Ran’s plushie) - as a lover. What was Oikawa supposed to do? Yes, he promised the boyfriend he was staying till he came back (from i dont even know where he went) BUT in my own opinion a good friend understands that sometimes (right or wrong) we have to prioritise ourselves and not someone else’s well being (Ran’s in this case).

cant wait to know the boyfriends name to yell at him a big fat F.O bc if he and ran didn’t have a complicated relationship then im pretty sure many thing could have been prevented. 😬

so far i’ve yet too see the boys held Ran accountable for her mistakes (?) - i.e the affair - i mean only two people went to argentina but my gut feeling is telling me that everyone in the gc thought oikawa was the -only one - at fault (whether they knew about the affair or not)

also this might be an unpopular opinion but all the boys seems to be a bit too (over)protective of Ran’s well being (we know she had her problems growing up but who didn’t) to the point where they not just protect but coddle her too…like from their point of view she cant do no wrongs and her happiness comes always first (it doesn’t matter if they -the boys - are breaking bc they are in love with her and they don’t have a chance).

since they will never have Ran romantically (oikawa’s story proves it) they will do everything to make her happy/life easier being at her beck and call and at the same time as they grow up and life goes on they meet new people (readers from the different spin offs) they will not only prevent themselves to move on and be actually happy but, at the same time, hurt the various readers, some more than others (ie kuroo’s spin off). ngl this is kinda a toxic behaviour (from the boys pov) 🫣

sooner or later they will understand/realise that their happiness can be linked to someone else and maybe what they really needed to move on was time and space (away from Ran). A clear example (so far) is kuroo’s story, it took him literally years to realise (his) reader was the one for him and also to actually see that he was already in love with her but he always dismissed those feelings bc he was so present and active in Ran and the twins lives everyone would think he was the actual father 🤔🥴 …and the way kuroo’s realisation was worded sounded like he was too late?

Semi’s story is similar, but completely different at the same time compared to kuroo’s (referring to the time skip when they are no longer uni students but working adults). Semi’s reader, the singer, was a his friend and her presence was sort of a constant reminder that he should stop being delusional about Ran since she was happy with a family. He might not had space (away from Ran) but the singer was there with him when he babysat the twins, they even argued about it.

While Kuroo’s delusions where strong enough not even kenma could do much about it. at a certain point he wasn’t even taking care of himself but it was reader silently doing it. Ran’s twins were sick, he was rushing to them, it was their birthday, he couldn’t miss it. someone implied he might be one of the godfathers but still…he was doing what a father is supposed to do/not miss. Where the heck was Ran’s husband in all of this? In the end readers words (when she talked with kenma) were true: if kuroo doesn’t take care of him (and his heart) who’s gonna do it? if reader wasn’t silently there kuroo might have collapsed bc of exhaustion between his workplace and Ran’s house 🫡🫡 Kuroo’s missing an outsider’s pov (Semi’s reader) who could tell him what is he living for? if Ran’s and the twins’ well being is his own purpose of life then maybe he should rethink about it. What would Ran think if she finds out he’s devoting (not her finding about he being in love with her but just as a friend) his life to her family. I don’t think she would be happy

Ngl as much as i want to see all the spin off boys be happy with their respective readers i wouldn’t mind see kuroo suffer after the realisation he lost his true love of his life (reader). Her falling for someone else would be a deja vu BUT her dying *chef’s kiss* You can fix many things but not prevent someone’s death 😬

one last thing: in the main story is there gonna be a chapter where Ran kind of realise she was the reason (unconsciously obliviously) some of the boys where keeping potential love interest at an arm’s length/not wanting anyone in their lives bc of her?

sorry for the long ask

okay i'll loosen a little to explain further the issues presented aaaand i would like you to know anon that i appreciate these kind of asks because some people also needs to ask this 🥺🥺 thank you for collating it for you and for them 🥺🥺 so okay..

yep, and Oikawa and Iwaizumi would be there to apologize.. for maybe (2 weeks for iwa 3 months for Tooru ANDDD ssh) they'll be with someone else in here andー🙈 eitherway, Tooru and Ran would still have a VERY complicated "interaction" (i wont say relationship), but she, too, will apologize.

hajime is aware of all that's happening to tooru in san juan and he didn't bat an eye on everything tooru shares day by day, and he updates him with SOMETHING I CAN'T SAY. All I can say is that he has every right to gaslight tooru in that phone call because tooru himself is confused and iwacchan intended to make him realize his feelings (he intends to say that tooru should take yn to his world if he really loves her, prove to iwacchan he has moved on, but tooru can't even say anything at that moment other than his attempt to drop their dreams for her, that's where they both fucked up)

it was ran's plushie that said tooru should stay away from Ran (didn't say forever), i will say it here coz ill not be stating this in the other chap so.. tooru previously left the chat consequently when he left Japan, Kei added him back tho and that was enough for the others to understand a little of what's happening (ran not batting an eye on that too, she doesn't care). and osamu is not toxic in that scene i swearrrr, he knows kei's intentions on adding tooru back, but yes they are teasing tooru in a very savage way i believe he deserves.

yep, tooru fucked up bigtime but i dont remember saying Ran had an affair with him or something............. it's safe to say that Ran's plushie intended to leave Ran on tooru's care as a friend AND THAT'S ALL THAT I CAN SAY, let's just say tooru made a really REALLY big mistake that destroyed Ran and i think everyone who's close to them (especially Ran's plushie).

and no, you can't yell at him 🥺🥺 im not revealing his name but really, you would understand why they have a complicated relationship. in the fic, you would first see Ran's POV, i mean the entire first half of the fic is hers, then 2 POVs of Ran's plushie explaining the events he cant say to Ran (but he did say to the boys) AAAAAAHHH SSSSHHー

i mentioned that Ran, Tadashi and Kei are in levels of density other people can't reach (in Kageyama's) but yep, it's not an excuse but she really doesn't know anything else toottoot i think Osamu's spinoff would relieve your issue on this coz it will tackle Ran's density (but still lowkey) but it will show you another side of Ran. AND they are protective of Ran, especially the Karasuno ones, because they know something others don't, and there are groups within the "volleyball idiots GC" that knows other "issues of Ran they can't tell anyone about". let's say there are 3 groups of that, one being lowkey mentioned on other fics i wont tell.

yeah, they are loving Ran in a toxic behavior im not gonna deny it but i think that tooru is just the hard-smacked lover, tetsu is well yeah YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND KUROO TETSUROU LATER IN THE FIC and add "3 someones" there, because they have the same issue.

and 🥺 we're tackling my Semi 🥺 but i can't say anything about hiiim, and yea, he's clearly different with the others. and i can't say it's a "delusion" for tetsu. all i can say to explain tetsu is that "Ran's plushie gave him something he can't afford to lose". and where is "Ran's plushie" in all of this.. i cant sayyyyyyy 💔 but tetsu devoting his everything to Ran has some sort of explanation in the fic, don'cha'worry. AND HEYYY did i say that kuroo's yn is some sort of a game changer (but for the 2nd fic). and believe me, Ran knows what's happening to whom, you'll understand her more soooon.

and omg, kuroo's yn dyingggg, I LAUGHED SO HARD. 👀👀👀 you might wanna read that portion again and you'll know when you know, then pm me if you have a hunch.

in a chapter, Ran will realize everything after she loses something really big. someone will sit and talk with her about these things and that will lead to her apologizing to tooru's yn, and to the others as well, but i dont think she's accounted to apologize butーAH YOU'LL KNOW YOU WILL KNOW I SWEAR. but you will see something like this (but lowkey) in Osamu's soon enough.

i love youu, you're nicely knitting the spinoffs 🥺

[thedevilshere]

Disclaimer: I got the inspiration for this from a song I've listened to on loop for the past 30 days, during every waking hour of the last month, yet I wasn't sick of it.

a very strong feeling of liking and caring for somebody/something, especially a member of your family or a friend -

is the definition of love, says oxford dictionary

the urban dictionary defines love as - the act of caring and giving to someone else. Having someone's best interest and wellbeing as a priority in your life. To truly love is a very selfless act.

and i,

i cant even begin to define love,

i attach myself to anybody who shows me even an ounce of affection,

which im told isnt the best way to find the right match.

i dont know what love really means,

what i do know is how heartbreak feels like,

after all, mine breaks every day,

and let me tell you, it isnt the best feeling in the world.

my heart breaks when i see the dam holding the ocean back in HER eyes break,

my heart breaks when i cant afford my favorite coffee.

my heart breaks when the stray dog follows me home but my home isnt even able to keep me contained,

my heart breaks when i cant seem to hold onto dear life,

my heart breaks when waking up seems like a chore id rather not indulge in,

my heart breaks when i recall all the great loves ive lost in this lifetime.

dont misunderstand me when i say i cant define love,

ive experienced many.

and isnt it true that a great love will have its ups and downs,

the problem is,

some days i was too scared to stand my ground and uncover all the beauties of the great loves ive had,

and on others, they couldnt hold on.

when i try to sleep after a long day,

my thoughts are haunted by one of those great loves,

and this story, im sure isnt just mine,

most of you here, today must have lost this special one too,

and those who havent, i beg of you - dont ever let it go.

there was a boy who loved me so,

he could single handedly melt my heart one second and push me off a cliff the other,

yet our love was one of a kind.

that was a great love.

how do i know that?

i know that because,

even back then i could tell that i was gonna lose him one day,

yet i couldnt care less about the day i lost him,

the only thing i cared for was to love him as beautifully, and with the same force as his.

so when he asked me one day out of the blue,

after being friends for the longest time -

"hey a! i wanna ask you something. do you feel anything for me?"

i didnt miss a beat,

i gave into my weakness and responded with the most enthusiastic "yes z, i do"

after which he proceeded to say - "i want to know that you cried for me. that hasnt ever happened in my 30 years of existence."

and folks, that was when i knew,

ours was a great love that id lose some day,

but i had to see it through,

i had to love him just as much,

i had to give him everything he's ever longed for like - being loved and living, not just breathing.

ours was a great love and i can tell you that today,

because now that he is gone, i do miss him, i do sob in silence so no one in my life now can know,

but i also recall our conversations sometimes and laugh,

i smile thinking of the days we spent together,

and i cherish them.

he was my great love and i dont know if ill ever find any like ours,

so when i say i cant define love,

i dont mean that i havent ever been in love,

i mean that it cant be explained in words - no matter how much the writers of these dictionaries try to dictate it,

love is a feeling, you cant call it anything else but that.

so now when SHE asks me to write about love,

i write what i know best -

to give in to your weaknesses is not always the worst thing you could do.

[haileyintheskywithdiamonds]

Dear journal,

The teenage girl experience is something that I think has permanently escaped the hands of reality. Everything I see makes me feel more detached if that makes sense.

Sitting across from the boy in my language arts class, staying perfectly silent, only talking when I feel like he’d approve. That concept is something i’ve been taught to do. Keep my mouth shut because the people you don’t know, the people who talk to more people, who get invited to parties, who have so many friends, who are never alone on the weekends, will judge me more than they already have if one wrong word slips out. Harder yet is when you’ve already been placed in the weird box. Hearing people say things like “Oh you’re not what I thought you’d be like…you’re so much more normal than in middle school” may seem like a compliment coming from your lips but stabs me right in the chest.

Seeing my Best Friends ex boyfriend move on, talking to our other friend. Knowing that seeing them together kills her just a little bit inside, killing me. This sense of extreme second hand betrayal I can never shake off of me. Like a disgusting film covering my skin.

Not knowing peoples names. Hearing about them all the time. Hearing about parties. How my friends got shitfaced drunk while I, uninvited, sat alone crying on my bed. I wish I was the girl people loved. People wanted to talk to. I’ve tried so hard to break the mould made for me since elementary school by these faces that I have memorized. I cant though. It all seems so desperate. To sit idly by while life keeps speeding by. I only have so little time.

[trushfamily]

Words from my heart:

My name is Dimitri Trush and I am here to tell you my story and of my three  sons: Yuri, Nikolai and leo Kosumo. First and foremost, before I begin I ought to express wholeheartedly my overwhelming feeling of gratitude and appreciation to few unique individuals without whom I may not be alive and well: My dear parents , father and mother, I cant find the appropriate wording to say how much I value all what you have done for me specially in the past 3 years of my life. I love you Daddy and Mommy. Long Life to you!! There are also few individuals whom I own due respect: Mr Chris Siren, Dario DePreado, Artem and Valya Poduruev. Thank you dearly to you all for being so supportive affectionate compassionate towards me and my life.

Trush Family….TOKYO JAPAN 2023 Woke up in the morning:

Today I woke up again late, I had a horrible night, could not fall asleep for ages and then twisted and turned all night long;  at the end  it was past 8am, yet again I missed a chance that could be the last one in my life. You may now wonder what chance I am talking about; well, It’s a chance to see your own children, and today could have been a last opportunity. I know its sounds dramatic and it making no sense, specially after looking at the pictures of my family, isn’t it?

Today is September 27 of 2023; I woke up this morning and thought to my self, what if I die tomorrow, how will my children know who their father was, where was he all this years and so forth and so on. To be perfectly honest with you, I am an ordinary man in my 40`s and I been living in Japan from August 2010. I moved to Japan not alone, with one person,  I will refer to her as MOMS which stands for Mother Of my sons. We moved from the states  with the idea of starting a family. Anyways, going back to my initial thought, upon waking up late, and regretting of not being able to go to school where two of my boys currently enrolled in, they begin classes at 8 am so I been going there early morning or in the afternoon with the hope to glance at the boys from the distance. Yes this is weird and creepy but the only way I can possibly see them is on their way to school and as I am typing this my chances of seeing them, yes only see without being able to hug touch or even speak, but I will get to this later,  now I want to say that I am in despair and I feel I have to do something to not loose my mind, so I want to begin writing every morning notes about a story of a father of OUR three sons: Yuri, Nikolai and Leo-Kosumo. I admit, I have no skills to write, I am quite bad with everything that goes with reading and writing , I am more of a listener and I play the violin, so just saying I am not novelist and I am just hoping to be able to put my story on the piece of paper so that may be one day someone finds this manuscript and learns something from it. I do hope that someone will be my three boys. God Save our Children!!

INTRODUCTION

What is a family? How is a family? Why strive to build a family, and so many other question I have in mind, and I am not sure I can give you an answer you will agree with but one with for certain that all families are made up of at least two individuals, not one, two; in my case it is a man and a women (there are other families as well with other genders but I am now talking about standard concept of a family, the one I was brought in.and I am not here to preach you about you about my beliefs and ideals, I am here to tell you the fable of what once was my family, and what is left of it..

Add a caption for your picture.

Add a caption for your picture.

Disclaimer

This short fable that I am about to tell you is not about a relationship between me and her (the MomBoys), I am not here to tell you who and why and how we ended up constituting a relationship that turned into a family for a split 10 years; So this is not a drama story of a drama queen from Japan and her husband, its not at all about the past between husband and wife, it’s about a fathers and mothers who are left behind. There is even a community being formed on line called PLB (parents left behind). And one more, all but one character in this fable is a mere illusion, and the dreams come true only if you keep the fade upon waking up in the morning…

The beginning of an end…

Today is September 27, 2023 and I am finally ready to go back into the old days when the days were endless, we were crazy we were young, yet those days are all gone and there is one thing still true - I am loving you…. I do certainly love the women I married, not quite sure it’s the same person I had my three children with ; I am being sarcastic and even ironic just wait until you read next paragraph.

That day will come..

Remember I mentioned few days ago about seeing my son near by their school and house?  Well today is the day, each time I see them it could be the last one. Today Friday September 29, 2023 and dispute all the nuances I feel good, I feel right and no one gonna stop me from seeing them, not even worth mentioning interacting with them. Its clear that Moms is doing a great job to keep us apart. Me Waking up at 5 this morning I made my self a promise to make it to their school by 8am, the time they usually commence their activities at school. Every single day of this past week I visited a  gym located not far from their school and after completing my workout I run around the neighborhood with hope to see Leo or Nikolai; The older son Yuri, is attending middle school with different location, btw I have not been able to see him this year at all and very unlikely I will and even If I meet him around he is not going to talk to me. Yuri is now 12 and I witnessed him being born at our flat in west Tokyo, It was hot Day on July 24 of 2011; he was born exactly one year after we moved to Japan. As I began writing the Trush story, I made a promise to myself, I will only remember and share the beautiful memories. I will refrain from brining negative vibes by thinking positively without remorse or contempt towards anyone featuring here, in particular towards Moms, after all she is the mother of my boys. Moreover, I believe some day my boys will remember me and find this story and I don’t want them to read negative experience of their father and mother; I can hear music by W A Mozart I recalled an inspiring moments of our 15 years journey , we both are musicians and our sonds were studying piano and cello at the time we were together, now I feel grateful for having an opportunity to have a family and value what is sacred, both Music and Family are like a religion for me, please don’t attempt to revoke the sacred things from my life, Thank you for your cooperation.

Oh  I deviated slightly from my early morning experience, I am actually a bit ADHD, please stay with me, as it is a true Breakthru, an experience that I will never forget and will mark a new chapter in my and my kids life.  . in short, 15 minutes and I was ready,  proud of my morning rush, I  made it to the school by the set hour; The adrenaline and all what I feel each time when I am around my boys, I cant describe with words what I go through each time I set my foot on the enemies territory; 

Seriously, I am not exaggerating. I saw not only two boys but also the Moms. (mother of my sons). Just for reference I have not seen her once for 1.5 years and that is after we have shared  our dreams for 15 years; Believe it or not. Its now 2 years and 9 months that we live separately.

 On the back of my mind I foresaw this scenario coming , hence I was so anxious and I at the same time blessed to have been able to see you two again, from a distance, but actually saw with my own eyes. I am referring to you Nikolai and Leo-Kosumo. This is a second time since Ocotber 2021 that I saw you two, first time was two weeks ago.

 Going back to todays morning event,I just made sure I don’t chase after them and don’t say anything that may offend. Things happened really fast yet I was able to take a video snapshot of our encounter, which did not happen at the end, the moment she saw me she took a hand of Leo turn around and started heading back away from me. What should I have done? What would you have done being in my shoes?I   only spoke few words to Nikoalai,  as he turned around once when I called his name, and without saying anything rushed away/. Finally I can get to the point that I  miss you all way too much, and I think of you every day. Boys you must still remember me , do you? You are the witnesses and at the same time prisoners. You are good boys doing what to do and I am left behind and no one can give me an answer to why this is happening to us? Three of you are wonderful sons, I must make sure you are you all right , and nothing troubles you and you are taking care of each other. Three brothers, lucky 3!!

The Friday night

As the day got by I was contemplating about things, working, exercising and speaking to few individuals who went through the same thing I am living now. Two individuals one of who I will call K, she is a mother of a 12 years old son who is been abducted by her husband about 6 years ago. I am stressing this so that one know that my story is not the first one and not the last. 150,000 kids are being separated from one of their parent annually.

If I knew this statistics, I would have thought twice before making a family in Japan.

It’s a tragedy and the nation is not doing a damn thing to stop this cruelty. Any how, I was told contradictory information about me visiting my boys school with hope to at least let them know that their father never abandoned them or forgot about them, their father actually living near by m about 5 kilometers away and he has made numerous attempts to reunite with you three. About your mother leading you away from me , is a different game that I do not want to play along. I have been sentenced but committing no crime. I refuse to accept this abuse. The problem is not Moms , the problem is Japanese law and there is nothing we can do about it. Meanwhile I must prepare for the worst scenario. I am not welcome in near where my kids live and everytime I go there, I run a risk of being treated as a criminal. Lady K I mentioned earlier was in jail  for few weeks. That is hard to grasp, comprehend.  I am not planning on visiting jail but as a consequence of todays meet up I may be banned by police to approach kids for the next 6 months. This is a common practice where you can call police and say you have fear of such and such and police make sure you abide their wills. I have been far away from home for way to long, I don’t have anything to loose. This is my credo for today,I have risked today and so yesterday and the whole past two weeks and I managed to see you boys, finally, up close without fearing and hiding. I have fear only to one thing, to not being able to do something today that I will regret tomorrow for not accomplishing fulfilling, abandoning ….. Amen..

Love Story; Chapter 1.

 

I am starting this chapter  by expressing  my appreciation to a particular person who made me feel like I am worthwhile, I am capable, I am inspiring giving loving and needed most of all. Guess who that person is? Did you? Its paradoxical but this person is the same person with whom I met in the morning while visiting boys at their school. In this chapter I will call her “A” vs MOMS. She is actually quite famous , one can type her last name and her first name you can easily find her on Youtube and other platforms. Let me intro you briefly, This chapter will be the most amusing of all.I hope you find it inspiring romantic and dream-like. As I am typing I feel like it was just pure magic, like it never happened to me, like I was not me, and she was not her.  If one would have told me back in 2004, the year we  met, what I will be facing for past 3 years, I don’t know what would I have done or told you. I simply would not take it seriously. I know its sounds ordinary, every one upon meeting each other are in heaven, I agree, its common for us to fall in love and so on. The point I ma trying to convey is is the fact that this  A-girl who has been my wife since 2008 is calling cops because I insist on rights of a father that is presumably guilty of who knows what crimes… I am as innocent as a 3 years old, I am father of three sons, who earned net amount of  about a million USD $ dollar since�� moved to Japan in 2010. Yes I am not millionare but I earned working as CEO for my company and it seemed  sufficient for a modest living. I want to confess, I did not earn this money on my own, The A-Girl was part of this game and she deserves a praise. Without her I would not be encouraged to work at such rate and dedication. I only did it for the wellbeing of our then family. I am sorry to say but money was never a purpose of living, I like modest living and I don’t live with the sole purpose to work, instead I work occasionally to live and rejoice.

Good day to Yrui Niko and Leo-Kosumo

September 30th.  Have you ever asked yourself what is all worth it? And such, if you would have given a second chance, what would have you done differently if done at all? Questions as such are mind bugling and most of the time  people have issues to give a truly honest answer, one of the reasons is because there are emotional and physical matters that affect our behaviors etc. Enough of this and I want to let you know boys, that if I don’t make it until the day you talk to me, I want you to know that I and your mother have many beautiful things that we shared. The love was endless, we were crazy we were young. And lastly the idea of reviving my memories at such difficult stage of my life, makes me ignore all the horrendous things that we are going through since summer of 2020, the year we stopped living together, this yeat is also known for famous plandemic which is completely fake, but it was a decision that I had to make in order to survive. This is the chapter of our life that forever changed who were are .

Day 2nd of October 2023. This morning woke up just on time to go for  another chance to see my boys, and despite being certain of my intention the night before, I decided to not go. There are many factors that affected my decision including the fact that I may be taken into custody by police, if I get to be reported by some one who is aware of my presence in the area. I was convinced by few PLB members (partents left behind) that I am in danger of loosing freedom if I get cut, after all no one knows what has been said to the police by my moving other half.. There are many things I value in life but there is definitely one thing I cant absolutely live without: freedom. I cant imagine being detained just because I wanted to see you Yuri, Nikolai and Leo-Kosumo. I hope some day you three will understand what I have done is solely with one purpose and that is a purpose for you to have father figure in your life.

On October 4, 2023,  I sent documents to the court of Tachikawa Branch in Japan, I am awaiting for the next  hearing scheduled on Oct 11. I am keeping my fingers crossed as I am trying to get back my rights as a father of three boys. I am not asking for anything else, I just want them back in my life. Dear Boys, you were part of my life for many years and all of the sudden, I lost access to you. I was , am and will be a good carrying and loving father. No one can limit the access to you three, just because they feel like it. 

I love you all so much I can express….  Someone is trying to take to destroy me  by taking away the most sacred thing- My family. They want to  make me believe I am the cause of all evil in the world of Trush. Some one our there is terrorizing and plundering me openly….

“Some people are cynic and sadist of the worst sort” their cruelty and mercilessness is destroying generations…

Sometimes I feel so sad, so sad , so bad;

But…….. no one gonna stop me now

No one…………..

Its hopeless, so hopeless to even …

Privet こんにちは Hello, Hola Yuri, Nikolai and Leo-Kosumo. Have is your day going? Is it happening? Today was just another day and I learned few things about life, among which one thing which I am kin on sharing with you, Your mother told me in 2021 that when time is right she will teach you English, well hopefully this time comes sooner then later and when you grow older you can read my message to you three. And one last thing for today, remember, no matter what anyone one tells you about your father, does not matter, who, its not true and the story is prefabricated. There is only one truth and is I never left you abandoned or run away from you. I was always home in Kodaira City waiting for you to come by. I am not sure how more longer I can keep living here without you but as of October 8 2023, I am still here. Please promise me to know what I just told you. I never left you behind, I came looking for you many times and I still will do so until I die… please hold on, shake hands, stand strong and respect !