#it was a few years back but the set was pretty
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Perfect outfit to play sum viddy games in. (u kno im actually wearin my fluffy baby yoda hoodie over this. Be real.)
Treat me ~ Tip me
#In absolute agony rn. Feels like i swallowed a shit ton of broken glass and sandpaper. 😭😭😭#Have a rather unfortunate feeling that its actually my mental illness acting up tho. Bc nothing is making it feel better and im not good???#Throw back to a few years ago tbh. I used to have this almost 24/7 bc mental health apparently#Ergh. At least i look absolutely adoreable and kinda killer in all these straps#Satans knitwear#Dont mind me moaning in the tags. Its what i do best ✨#Alt pinup#Pinup girl#Tease#bi girl#uk girl#cheeky#Pretty lingerie#Strappy lace lingerie set#girls with piercings#wlw#girls with tattoos
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i have many opinions on character!grian that are only important to me (mainly hermitcraft grian cause it’s the current smp i’m watching n i, embarrassingly, never finished last life despite loving n finishing 3rd life)
#royal hearings#one of my opinions on c grian is pretty much just centered around how grian isn’t n never will under any circumstances be some random ass-#eldritch god from an smp that isn’t even a half pint related to hermitcraft#and it would be 100000000000000000000000x more realistic that he would be strictly human#and another opinion is centered around that realistically grian would not be a single half pint of skinny#c grian would be buff buff buff and more buff with a side of buff#even more so if he was an avian cause it takes some good ass strength (and pec strength) to not only have them attached to ur back but to-#fly with them as well#hes a builder and builders would not be single half pint of skinny. they would be buff from carrying around dozens if not hundreds of pounds#of stone. terracotta. cobblestone and shit so it literally be unavoidable for grian to stay skinny unless he stopped building completely#and if u like drawing grian as an avian then it would STILL be unavoidable for him to stay buff cause flying requires a shit ton of strength#ESPECIALLY PECTORAL STRENGTH SO REALISTICALLY AVIAN!GRIAN WOULD HAVE A LARGE SECOND SET OF PECS THAT ARE RIGHT UNDER HIS OTHER PECS#he would have a second set of pecs as well for reasons i can’t really remember so u gotta get back to me on that at a later date#neways like i said it would be completely unavoidable for avian!grian to stay skinny unless he completely gives up flying and lets his wing-#muscles become too weak for him properly fly#also to go with my opinion that centers around how grian wouldn’t be an eldritch god:#i highly doubt grian would make evosmp canon since evosmp hasn’t been around for nearly 4 full years (evo ended in dec.2018)#canon to hc i mean if that’s somehow not clear#if he wanted to make evo canon to hc then he should’ve made it canon around the time it originally ended. not a few years later#im not saying it’s /impossible/ cause iirc martyn made some type of evo lore canon#to ll n last life started 3ish(?) years after evo#i’m just saying it’s unlikely he’s gonna start making it canon to hc now#not impossible but unlikely#plus i think the stuff centered around the rift is just regular time warping/reality warping lore not evosmp lore#can u tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot#oak’s opinions
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the soma revival on here was so much i remember in like 2017 when i was starting to use this site for real i went into the tag by chance and there were like 5 pieces of fanart at most then 3 years later me and hundreds of others collectively decided to go insane for it
#its like such a vivid memory because back then i wasnt that much into reaching out for media#like i would watch/play/read stuff and pretty much move on with my life while letting it simmer in the back of my head#and this game was kinda like that when i first played it in 2015#fast forward a few years and its like Hey being insane about this with a small group of other people is really fun actually#and that first replay in 2020 hit so different like 5 years later and i processed the experience completely differently#also fun fact i distinctly remember when the main tag literally had nothing but a few stray pieces of art and like 3 gif sets#no anime or other things whatsoever#venspeaks
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laundry day!
#agblr#american girl#american girl dolls#my posts#my dollhouse#my photos#my dolls#jessica#i was about to take down this little scene I made a few weeks ago and then I realized I never took a pic of it#also never took a pic of Jessica’s outfit!#she was (and is) the only truly me that’s ever been a part of my collection#i got her at the American girl store when I went as a kid because she was pretty lol#i was REAL mad when they made the a goty named Jess like. the next year lol#(not that I don’t love Jess. she’s wonderful ❤️)#anyway Jessica looks nothing like me she’s just cute 😊#she’s never really had a set personality so as I’ve come back to my dolls I’m building it sort of from the ground up#she’s either gonna be from the 90s or early 2000s#and she’s an athlete of many kinds - one of those kids who does a different sport every season#that’s party bc it’s fun and also bc good lord do I have so many random sports outfits that I’ve got in lots#*partly#i thought about also making her a dancer bc I also have a ton of dance costumes but like. that’s too many activities lol#so I will simply have to wait until AG inevitably makes another dancer character#i thought about getting marisol but I already have a LOT of josefina molds. so I don’t think she’ll get the spotlight she deserves#in my collection. also her stuff is expensive 😫#so I will simply wait.#I’m not really good at making ocs (hence my lack of truly me’s) so I’ll leave in ags hands
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the thing about mental illnesses like social anxiety (which might be compounded by the autism) is the way that you just lose all reference point for what is and what isnt acceptable social behaviour
because when your brain is always going into overdrive thinking up ways that your actions and words could be interpreted badly, or could hurt or offend other people, you lose all sense of whats just batshit nonsense and whats actually a reasonable concern
and i feel like no-one talks about this??? no-one talks about the self-aware anxious person who conciously fights agaisnt what their anxious brain is telling them and ends up asking what turn out to be really invasive questions or being unintentionally rude and then beating themself up about it for months afterwards because they didnt realise that their brain was RIGHT to try and stop them this time because it just felt like all the other times where their brain was WRONG
#anxiety#autism#ive pretty much recovered from my social anxiety at this point#but there was a time a few years back when id just finally acknowledged that i had a serious problem i needed to work to improve#where this kept happening to me every time i tried to get better and prove to my anxious brain that it was overreacting#and nothing sets recovery back like your mental illness being proved right for once#the autism and lack of comprehending what allistics consider acceptable or not likely didnt help#i think its why vespa talking about her psychosis in tpp made my cry so much#its not when youre hallucinating spiders crawling all over you thats the issue#its when there are actually spiders crawing all over you and you just let them because you think they arent real
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Hey y’all! I’m about halfway done sewing the giraffe, possibly a little more than halfway, but I’m not sure what to sew after it. My current “before the end of December” to-make list is: - pterodactyl - three dolls in kigurumi (for kidlet’s neighbor friends) - doll clothes (for the doll I made kidlet) - a horse (for new neighbor kid, might make Chip from Beauty and the Beast instead) - something for my nieces BUT that’s like three months from now and I don’t want to work on doll stuff at the moment, so after maybe the pterodactyl do y’all have any suggestions for Halloween-y things I can make?
#what to sew next?#we finally got the air filters changed so my brain should be back online in the next few days#but oh boy I have not been braining good#dust sets off my allergies and the air filters in the house were so dusty they were practically dripping dust#do y'all have suggestions of what to make for a four year old who loves Belle but already has a Belle dress?#idk what else she'd like besides maybe Chip#but I know she likes horses#OH I might be able to make the horse from the movie#I might make pikachu for the kidlet but I gotta get permission from his mom#I was going to make his neighbor friends hoodies because he volunteered me to in front of them#but...it would cost pretty much the same to buy the finished hoodie as to buy a plain hoodie and supplies#and buying the finished unicorn/pokemon/cat hoodie would take SO MUCH LESS TIME#so I'm just going to buy them hoodies
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some experimental cats
#in order:#cherry#yoko#santo#petra#and inky#cherry died a few years back but she was my first cat and i felt like she should be here#petra and inky are sisters#also fun fact: yes all 3 of them have that heel spot#i’m unsure if they all have it on the same heel (and i can’t check easy cus yoko and santo both hate their legs being touched)#nonetheless i think it’s pretty neat#inky’s best friends with my aunts dog and vocalizes a lot when she sees him#and tries to rub up against him and stuff#santo’s favourite toys are this set of turtles that used to be mine (hes really gentle with them and makes sure they never get under stuff)#yoko reminds me to brush my teeth every night by leading me to the bathroom#this isn’t just an excuse to talk about my cats i swear i just love them a lot#OH and cherry couldn’t put her back claws away for some reason so she made little clicks wherever she went
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Reading adventures interspersed with some emotions
#Doodles#First couple were complaints since my brain was being quite rude about Requestober#I'm a little sad I didn't have as many requests as last year but I'm always interested in more data#Plus I was kinda under the weather at the beginning of the month so it kinda worked out haha#Crying isn't so unusual and even less so for being kinda out of it - reading really helped honestly 'cause I was in no condition for much#I decided to finally polish off Chibi Vampire since I've had the first few volumes in my collection for years but never read the rest#Karin and Anju's relationship hit me especially hard I am very weak to sweet sibling relationships#And how much turning tore Anju apart and then that ending#The pacing's pretty weak around the end but it's still an enjoyable read#I wish it'd stayed a bit more slice of life since the fantasy stuff didn't seem quite as well thought out but I don't regret finishing it#Paper complaint! This was the second paper testing the kind that indents horribly#I think the best way to describe it is that it holds onto the graphite while trying to move - it's got some real friction to it#Very bad for drawing with big sweeps it pulls them up short and makes toning more difficult with the deep gashes#Couple'a silly ones about up and down emotions - set aside a while to be sad and then the sad up and leaves!#Convenient for my schedule at least lol#For the gay angels one - I've been reading through His Dark Materials and honestly those two were the only things keeping me invested#And then wouldn't you know it - that fucker killed my gay angels. How dare#I can't believe this book has bury your gays I cannot believe you how could you do this to me#It's been a little difficult to get back into reading after that lol#And finishing off with another assertion of the quality of this paper lol
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yesterday was a good day ⛈
#i want to write something meaningful and beautiful about spending an afternoon in almost normalcy with one of my closest friends#and how we reminisced on the past 2 years and all the great times we had#and how it's pretty much the end of an era and how i might not ever go back on this beach#or blast kanye in her car#or just hike in silence next to her#but idk#i don't think words could do it justice so here are a few pictures instead#it was a typical rainy day like so many others on this island#we were pretty much the only ones on the beach#and i was trying to understand the fact i might not set foot there again#but i couldn't#so i'm gonna assume it means i'll come back here one day maybe decades from now#and it's gonna be great#places#canada#e
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got a new job B)
#i mean I got hired a couple weeks ago but I don’t move/start it for another three weeks or so#the excitement is just now setting in#I swear nothing cures my depression faster than getting hired and moving to a different state#I haven’t felt this good for over a yearrrr#and like... they aren’t paying me jack shit but they’re giving me free housing and a CSA share so#plus I’ll be living in what is (in my objective opinion) the prettiest place on earth#personal#and then when this seasonal job is done I’ll have a few months and then I can hopefully go back to my river guiding job#I’m pretty sure they’d hire me again without even interviewing me lmao#I mean my former boss texted me freaking out in all caps when he found out I was moving back to town lol#and said he was sad it wasn’t with that company#so like. as long as he’s there I def have a river guiding position waiting for me next year :)#provided covid doesn’t get markedly worse! 🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼
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well. well! well
#my arte#genuinely did not think i would have enough to fill this out#okay to be ENTIRELY honest? i think my output at the beginning of the year like jan-may was alright#i had my own room for a bit and i got to be experimental with pens and stuff for awhile i think it was cool#and i DID actually complete a few projects i am proud of this year! april and december i finished two art memes#and artfight was in july and not to be over my head but im still pretty happy with what i did there even if it was interrupted by#uh. yknow#i wasnt consistent i definitely didnt make as much art through the year as id like#but. well. honestly i guess it wasnt as bad as i thought. im being hard on myself maybe. this is fine#id like to be more confident about it next year and to try and complete more stuff digitally. id love to use my sketchbook more!!!!!#it is dear to me. i feel much more confident on paper. just gotta#really just gotta set aside a space in which to work fhjkdfs#dont ask abt may listen. the rest of the drawing its from i looked back at and was like oh this is kinda shit innit#but the detailing was fine and the light effects are basic but they still look nice and i didnt make anything else salvageable#so. whatever <3#i think thats my takeaway from this depressing summary. is Whatever <3 who even care
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I'm finally back at uni but I left my room a mess cus I found out I was going home the day before my flight and I'm a generally disorganised person so I've just spent the morning getting rid of box mountain, putting away the shopping I bought the day before I left and cleaning but I made the mistake of sitting down so I don't think I'll be doing any more now, I disturbed the flow
#not rp#ooc#Uni shenanigans#ace is a mess#pretty impressed with myself thought i was gonna procrastinate more i couldn't believe how bad it was cus when im there i cant see it but#its been two half months so the blinkers are gone and oh. all of the boxes from parcels i received this year were accumulating in a corner#because theres no specific recycling bin for them?? but we're repeatedly told to recycle??? but theyre gone now minus one massive box that#imma use for moving back out. your supposed to leave shopping for 72 hours to decontaminate and Thursday is my shopping day and i left on a#Friday so they didnt finish decontaminating before i left so i just put it all away and reorganised stuff to make space and sense especially#as tom ive gotta make space for 26 parcels. i cleaned everything as well cus of dust and just wanting it to be fresh ya know? my plants are#still alive though!! miraculously. i got a few more things to do like finish unpacking and then i should be set for the week#Tag talk
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I was keeping up with the protests in my hometown of Birmingham via facebook live and some of the journalists filming the event got assaulted while streaming and tell you what i wasn’t tired before but now i am 100% in the not going to bed club.
#protesters / demonstrators are taking down the confederate monuments#Mayor woodfin came out and talked to the protest organizer like give me 24 hours to take them down before you do it this way#because i agree with y'all and i can't let you do this#and the organizer was like ok guys go home and come back at noon tuesday but if you're up on the statue now i ain't telling you to get off#and then they roamed downtown breaking windows and setting a few fires#and then mugged and assaulted the dude with al.com#it was kind of traumatizing tbh#the crew has confirmed they're fine but ffs#SHIT IS BROKE Y'ALL#WE ALL KNOW IT#i was fine with it all until they took down stephen for no reason#statues should've been taken down years ago#who cares about wells fargo#dude stole the chic fil a cow and that was actually pretty funny#no one's working late it's sunday and still quarantine times
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One summer I had a stomachache for literal weeks on end and didn’t want to get out of bed some days because it hurt so bad and I went through several different doctors and one of them even ordered an ultrasound and the ultrasound person didn’t find anything and finally one doctor was like. This is going to sound weird. But there is this one over the counter heartburn medicine that you take every day for two weeks and then you stop. And I want you to try it. I don’t know why but sometimes it works.
And I did. And I got better. And I don’t know why either.
#and then a few weeks later i got my wisdom teeth out#and then i went back to school and people kept asking me what i did that summer#and i got really frustrated because i didnt want to say ‘idk i was incapacitated for a pretty big chunk of it’ but i WAS#‘did you do any internships’ NO!!!!#a few years later i started having vaguely related problems and i think the same doctor suggested the same heartburn medicine#but this time it made my symptoms SO MUCH WORSE and i had to stop#and i actually never resolved that set of symptoms! i still have them! yippee!!
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a few quick missions and some minor stress tests running warframe with chrome and discord all at once it didmt crash (:
#time to go back to my roots...well the roots of my favorite game anyway#i wanna experience warframe on pc....even though it looks riddled with.....alot of stupid people#i did alot before my computer refused to run it#but i'm still getting back in touch with everything and getting used to not having all my gear#i dont even have my favorite shotgun ):#but i have my favorite warframe (:#gosh maybe i should post some warframe pictures to celebrate#from xbox of course thats where all my good looks are#i'll get my good looks....eventually on pc. its easier to get tennogen skins on consoles#on pc you gotta spend actual money which like. i want to but......maybe#idk i guess really the thing i was saving up for was a new graphics card but if its fine now my graphics card should last another few years#oh right i wanted a vr set.....damn if my computer stays happy that would be terrific#i'd love playing beatsaber oh my word..maybe vrchat but i'd wanna play with my xbox friends and they dont got vrchat ):#i'm pretty sure they could all run it on their respective computers but no vr stuff just mouse and keyboard#i spent today fixing my computer so i could watch ponyo with shadow#he said he's never watched it and i offered to watch it with him! i'm excited
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🎠
#its looking like ill need physical therepy and im probably going to end up back w my family this summer since theyre selling my apt#so as soon as i figure it out im probably going to set up some commisions and a kofi so i can help w rent#since last summer everything went to school and my brother will be the one w the real job this year lol#anyways the first few will probably be pretty cheap while i figure it out so ill post info here first
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