#idk i guess really the thing i was saving up for was a new graphics card but if its fine now my graphics card should last another few years

[iloveyakuza3]

If Kiwami 3 comes out, it will probably have an amazing gameplay, and everyone will be saying that it was all the game needed to become enjoyable, no more blockuza 3 !

Which is a shame imo, not liking a game for a bad gameplay is only logical but 1) there are so many other things to enjoy in this game and 2) yakuza 3 does NOT have a bad gameplay and I will die on this hill.

Its gameplay is just average yakuza level, not the best one but not the worst one (have you played kiwami 2 ?) and the block thing ? It does exist. In like, two fights, the first one being against Rikiya at the beginning of the game, the other being against Lau Ka Long far later. At least these are the only times I was bothered by the blocking during my entire playthrough.

Now, this is only my opinion, based on my gaming experience, which happened on a little laptop with a crappy gamepad. I was in normal difficulty, I am not a pro player, I got my ass kicked a lot of time but as I said, blocking has been a problem in only two fights ... heck I was more bothered by that when playing y4 and y5. But still nothing very noticeable, just your average yakuza first person fight.

So I've always been confused by the "blockuza 3" thing, that argument people are throwing to diss the game or even tell streamers not to play this one because it would be an awful experience ... I've seen people saying it was the worst yakuza game for this reason (again, have you played kiwami 2 ?) and I wonder if this is all genuine or if people were just convinced the game was gonna be bad they ended up having a bad experience after all. This really is the part that bothers me the most, did people really have the worst time of their life or do they just speak in hyperbole ? I really think the game suffers from a too harsh reputation based on flaws that aren't concrete enough to deserve that.

Other problems are pointed like the final boss being too hard to beat. I had no problem beating him, I even found it ... rather easy, but maybe I was overleveled at this point of the game, idk. Again, other games (like yakuza 4) have far worse final boss battles and I don't see as much hatred for the game as I see for y3 ...

Even people who like the game will diss the gameplay to push for kiwami 3, saying that a remake will save it. Which I guess is true, if people aren't willing to even try to have fun playing yakuza 3 then give them a remake with HD graphics and a fighting system made on a new engine, that will help.

I really hope Kiwami 3 won't suffer from the reputation of Y3 tho. I also know people are dissing the game for other reasons, I'll try to talk about that.

[chellyfishing]

ho ho holy shit it’s the end of the year and that means it’s time for you guessed it my reading year in review.

instead of “read more than last year” my goal this year was “read at least one non-fiction book” and not only did i do that, not only did i read FOUR of them, i still also read more than last year!

(btw i am on storygraph if any of you are also on storygraph)

in january i read that there uh locked tomb series by tamsyn muir. thinking that it was a trilogy and then finding out no i actually have to suffer like the peasants for the conclusion. anyway it was fine and definitely hasn’t taken up at least 40% of my brain at all times ever since. it’s a very normal series i had a normal reaction to and you should read it, it’ll be fine.

i also read volumes 7 and 8 of spy x family by endo tatsuya. 7 is around where the anime stops and i watched it at the end of last year so. i finally just picked up 9 and 10 but i’m saving them as treat for surviving to the new year. anyway it’s good. i generally avoid graphic formats because my brain is just not good at processing images properly, especially when it’s all in black and white, but this was pretty easy for me to read. it’s a good time, recommend.

in february i read witchlings by claribel ortega. this is a middle grade book so the depth and style aren’t exactly for me, but it was very very cute and fun, with a diverse and lovable cast, and i would definitely recommend this to kids age idk 7-ish to 12-ish. that genre of child. a good magical book series to read instead of. you know. i’d be interested to continue the series as well, i think especially if ortega has the books mature with the readership she could really have something special here.

confession i really like to listen to people tell me stories (horrorbabble my beloved) and since i finally got a new library card this year (two actually now!) i can just get audiobooks and listen to them whenever i want. so in april first i listened to we have always lived in the castle by shirley jackson, which as you may or may not know is one of my favorite books of all time. i wanted to experience the story again and i didn’t want to just watch the film (it’s fine, honestly, it just lacks a lot of what i find really captivating about the book) so i put this on while i was doing other things. great book, great author, and i have no complaints whatsoever with the audiobook performance.

i also listened to james and the giant peach. this is my favorite roald dahl book and the audiobook is only about three hours. the narrator had incredible energy, exactly what you’d want from someone reading a children’s book.

in june i read the first nonfiction book, sex ed by ruby rare. this is a very accessible and inclusive book about… no. i shan’t say. everything is spoken about in frank terms and rare has a very personable voice and style. it’s also illustrated!

my next nonfiction book was in august, when i finally got to read i’m glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy. you probably don’t need me to tell you that this book is SO!! GOOD!! an incredible and important piece of art. jennette is so heartbreakingly honest and real here. i spent the whole book just wanting this child, then woman, to be okay. i am so happy she has turned the page on a new chapter in her life and has been able both to follow her real dreams of writing and gain some catharsis in the process. trigger warnings especially for abuse, including sexual abuse, including to a child, including by a parent, and eating disorders. she does not shy away from the ugliness of her experiences so please be prepared for that. it is very heavy at points.

after i finished that book i was just skimming through libby even though i already own [redacted] unread books and anyway on a whim i picked up a book called a door in the dark by scott reintgen. i decided to give it a shot because the main complaints were slow first half (that’s fine) and “unlikeable main character” (a woman with questionable morality). it was pretty good! the high point for me was the main character, in fact. i don’t really want to spoil anything so i won’t go into details but it definitely toys with your expectations in ways i appreciate. looking forward to more in the series!

i finished out august with they were here before us by eric larocca. this is only my second book by larocca (you’ve lost a lot of blood was my last book of 2022) but honestly i already knew i would read anything by them. this book is kind of a collection of short stories but they all have a theme that ties them together and are meant to be read in order. i love his prose, I love his weird imagination and imagery. this is exactly the kind of “unsettling and weird” that i will eat up. easily a new favorite author of mine. (their books are not for everyone, i hasten to add. they are very much for certain tastes. warnings in this book for some mild body horror as well as animal and child death.)

oh just kidding i forgot i read two books that day. the real last book i read in august was after they came by tom kavanagh. it is not a plot twist that this is a story about someone (a teenage girl specifically) living with paranoid schizophrenia, which i believe kavanagh also has. it’s clear this is a very personal story to him, and the horror comes not from the delusions or behavior this girl is having but from knowing she is trapped in them, scared and effectively alone. it’s very heartfelt.

in september i read a couple of shorter works. the first one was “undercover” by tamsyn muir, which is part of amazon’s “into shadow” series of short horror stories. being only about sixty pages this is nowhere near the ballpark of locked tomb’s twisting density but it still really draws you in. it’s a good time.

the other was the novella sour candy by kealan burke patrick. let me start off by saying! this is a grim one. there’s no real catharsis here. it’s just down, down, oh look we can go even further down. i guess it’s not my preferred type of horror, but it was still a good read.

in september i also read a full-length novel, sawkill girls by claire legrand. this is unfortunately my “worst book” of the year but even then it’s completely relative, most of the rest of my reading was bangers. i guess it’s not really what i was hoping it would be. it went places i thought were a bit… idk. i don’t want to say silly, exactly, but it didn’t quite work for me. i think that’s it really, it just wasn’t what i wanted, and what it was wasn’t really for me. important tho: there is sapphic rep and ace rep in here, asexuality in particular being addressed by name, so if you want more of those things, you could do a lot worse than this.

my third nonfiction read was in november and it was the woman in me by britney spears. i decided to crack this open and hopefully read it over the last couple days before my library hold ran out and i ended up devouring it in one sitting instead. like the other memoir on this list, this is a tough read. you will get angry, you will get furious, you will get sad. most people do not come out of this looking good at all and i am so glad brit and her ghostwriter decided to pull no punches. again check the trigger warnings, there’s a lot of abuse of a person with mental illness here, including forced institutionalization and of course the extremely unethical conservatorship. there’s also discussion of an abortion that was difficult and not especially wanted. i’m so so so so glad that she is free to live her life and speak her truth and i hope she gets to live happily with her boys and her man forever.

another book i read in one sitting was exit, pursued by a bear by ek johnston. i found this awhile back when i was looking for modern shakespeare retellings, specifically for one of a midsummer night’s dream, though as you can probably guess from the title this is actually inspired by the winter’s tale. so, there’s no getting around that this book is about sexual assault. it’s very blunt and frank about it, though the assault is not described, only the events leading up and the aftermath. weirdly, i would describe this as something of a slice of life more than a “message” book. this is the story of a seventeen-year-old girl getting on with her life after being drugged and raped. it’s primarily about her recovery especially through her relationships with friends, family, and others. it contains episodes of her triggers (the song that was playing just before she blacked out being a big one) but is primarily about her fighting desperately with everything she has not to let it dictate her life. warnings aside from sexual assault include discussions of forced pregnancy and abortion.

so, i’ve been wanting to read katzenjammer by francesca zappia for quite awhile now, but the price will not drop and the library down the street doesn’t have it. but then i got a card at another branch and voilà! let me warn you now that this is a sad book. it does not have a happy ending. i was warned it was sad going in and i was still not prepared to be absolutely gutted on a spit by it. i figured out what was going on about a fifth of the way from the end and just. cried from that point on. bawled my eyes out. might cry again now. so good, for the record, zappia has an undeniable way with prose and imagery, and there are sketched drawings throughout to shape her vision. i cannot give proper content warnings without dropping a major spoiler, so it will be up to you to decide how you need to approach this book if you want to. i will say that it is NOT sexual assault, though there is quite a bit of bullying that at points can feel a bit threatening in that regard, if that makes sense. i recommend it if idk you have tastes similar to mine (again, i did love it) and are willing to just be really fucking sad for a few hours.

i got a couple more library books in december. the first was my fourth and final nonfiction book of the year, another memoir, counting the cost, by jill duggar (dillard), her husband derick, and a credited professional writer, craig borlase. i have way too many words that i feel should be said about this book for one bullet point. i think it’s important to remember that jill and derick are still conservatives with some toxic and very harmful values, but jill has done incredible work deconstructing and derick has been a phenomenal husband to her. this book feels… unfinished though. it’s clear there’s still a lot that jill has not come to terms with. i hope that she can continue to grow and find peace. and i hope that others who are escaping fundamentalism can feel seen by this.

i took a break from my other library book (below) bc i just really wanted something i knew would be light and fun and easy to read, so i turned to ship wrecked by olivia dade. this is the third book in a series, the first two of which (spoiler alert and all the feels) i read last year. each one is about a couple with one (or two in this case) actors from a fictional show that is… i mean it’s game of thrones but make it greek myth. she doesn’t even try to hide it, it’s game of thrones. the thing that drew me to the series, aside from the fact that it just sounded like fun, is that all the main ladies (and in this case the man as well) are fat. as for this book, i think it’s probably my least favorite of the three. the fmc maria is pretty great but the mmc peter is easily my least favorite of the three male leads. dade doesn’t write toxic men, let me add, and all three books are dual pov so you really get to know both characters, but he just wasn’t it for me. i wish that the other characters got more screen time, especially since the books are not that short, but dade prefers to really dig into the psyches of her leads, unpacking their baggage and traumas to build healthy relationships, and i do appreciate that. downside is that there is not much diversity, other than her three ladies are each different kinds of fat (and don’t get me wrong, i love that and want to see more of it). this book has a lot of background queerness though so that was nice to see. i wonder if she intends to write a book about the wlw couple from the show, but i don’t know since afaik neither of those ladies are plus size. i’d read it, or really anything else she decides to do with this world.

the other library book i read from this batch was leech by hiron ennes. people describe this as a weird book but honestly if anything it could have been weirder. i went in without knowing a thing about it besides, like, taz blurbed it shut UP i doNOT HAVE a proBLEM. quick sketch this takes place in a very post-apocalyptic world and is about a doctor going to a remote isolated northern region during winter. yep, that’s all that it’s about. content warnings for body horror, both of the icky kind and the psychological kind, miscarriages, infant/child death, violence, and discussions of grooming and sexual abuse. it’s not really about those things (except the body horror) and when it comes up it’s generally less than a page at a time, but like. it’s all there and you should be careful. i would say it’s more about identity and autonomy and what it costs to break free. and body horror.

i read the burglar in the closet by lawrence block. i came across this book because one of my booktubers put it on his best of 2023 list and it sounded fun. and it was! it’s actually from 1978 and the second book in a series but i didn’t read the first book and was fine. there’s quite a bit of sexism but the amount and the framing of it didn’t make it impossible to enjoy this book. the narrator has such a strong voice and there are some genuine laughs to be had. plus, the ending surprised me! it was well-crafted! it’s a quick read and i’m pleased i took a little detour through it.

and the last book i’ll probably finish in 2023 (who knows!) is maeve fly by cj leede. i literally just now finished it and have to sit with it before i give it a proper rating and all that. there were times i wasn’t sure how i felt about this book. the narrator has such strong nlog edgelord energy but in her defense, she is literally a serial killer (i don’t think this is a spoiler tho it does take her a minute to say on page that she has killed). there are a lot of lines that had me rolling my eyes a bit, mostly because they were always the lines that were marked as frequently highlighted, like yeah, predictable. but there are also a lot of moments of genuinely beautiful prose, and a kind of macabre humor over it all. things really go off the rails in the last 20-25% or so but that was definitely my favorite part. technically i’ve seen this book classed as on the milder end of extreme horror, basically just be aware that there is a lot of very, very graphic violence. but the thing is, i read this book primarily as a metaphor, tho i’m not sure how much the author meant it as one. the ending makes me think perhaps she did. and honestly, framing it that way, maeve is actually… painfully relatable. why do i feel like i just got put on a watchlist somewhere. uhh, i could go on about it a lot, but you don’t care, you don’t intend to read this book. plus it’s more important that i mention that this book takes place in los angeles, except the parts that are in anaheim, because maeve plays princess E— at D— (never named but not at all obfuscated). the author does treat anaheim like it’s part of LA and i KNOW I KNOW it doesn’t matter TO YOU but the main thing i kept thinking was, wow i bet that commute is a bitch. i actually really liked the D— stuff because it’s all a bit inside baseball, employees and anaheim residents will capital K Know. there were also some really great descriptions of LA, and it just was nice to read someone put to words what the actual appeal of living around here is. it’s difficult to explain because people always come in with so many preconceived notions. as mandy moore put it, it’s a city of open doors. (lmao i just saw grady hendrix blurbed this as “anaheim psycho.” chef’s kiss.)

anyway i could easily finish something else if i set my mind to it but i kinda wanna maybe crack into something a bit longer. those last two were both under 300 pages, and even leech is not that much over it. or maybe i’ll just let myself disappear into bg3 until the new year.

[gregmarriage]

ivyyyyyyyy<333 thanks for tagging me!!! i miss you lots, bab xxx

last song: be nice to me- the front bottoms

last book: i was rereading the princess diaries recently, bc they’re some of my comfort books, bc they’re so familiar, as i reread them a million times when i was a kid

last movie: swiss army man. it made me really depressed, after. so i don’t know if the message really sunk in imaoooo

last tv show: i’m finishing up a rewatch of breaking bad

sweet/savoury/spicy: i’m a savoury gal. but i like spice sometimes. and sweet stuff is a little gross to me now. like it’s getting to be christmas, and it’s the only time i’ll have chocolate, bc shit is too sickly to me any other time. guess i’m an adult now :(

relationship status: single as a pringle, or however that phase goes imao

last thing i searched: me and my brother were trying to activate the ufo stuff in rdr2, so that, lol

current obsession: i actually don’t know if i even have an obsession rn? like succ is always on my mind in some way, ebbing and flowing, as i’m always writing my fics, but otherwise, idk? 🤷🏻‍♀️

looking forward to: this year being over? is that a wee bit depressing? i guess something a little more upbeat is probably new seasons of shows coming up in the new year etc

fav drink: uhh, i stopped drinking fizzy stuff/soda. so, idk really. all i really drink anymore is fruit drinks, so i guess that?

song playing 24/7: predatory wasp by sufjan stevens, lately. i don’t know why, that song depresses me, but alas 🤷🏻‍♀️

current fav character: as i’m rewatching brba, my sweet baby jesse <3 i need to save him from walter white at all costs, i must kill him with hammers to save my boy!!!

fun activity you would like to get into: uhhhh, i don’t know, actually? i keep saying i wanna learn to knit, but i think my hands wouldn’t be good for that, bc they uhhh, don’t work good lol. and also, i keep wanting to get back into drawing, but i’m not great at that, like talent wise, not just my hands being weird with gripping a pencil, physical or tablet. but uh, who knows, maybe i’ll say fuck it and actually get into one of those things?

last video game: resident evil village <3

last comic/graphic novel: i swear i haven’t read anything comicy, since i read the walking dead comics in full, like three years ago. or maybe i’m a liar and maybe i read heartstopper, who knows?

tagging: @marlenacantswim, @puppyboydavidbyrne @karmelarts, @harrringtons. the usual suspects imao <3 feel free to not do it tho lol, i’m not your mom

tagged by: @beatsheetromanroy

last song: back to december - taylor swift

last book: just started tender is the flesh by agustina bazterrica and im enthralled

last movie: wicked!!!

last tv show: lower decks. also doing my semi annual spn rewatch

sweet/savoury/spicy: savory oh my god im too much of a wimp for spicy and im turning into an insane grown up who cant handle too much sweetness

relationship status: single

last thing I searched: "what in the sam hill phrase origin"

current obsession: the fucking youtubers that turn you gay (dan and phil)

looking forward to: im throwing a birthday party for taylor swift tomorrow. THRILLING

fav drink: dr pepper zero

song playing 24/7: i bet you think about me - taylor swift

current fav character: thinking about cas a lot lately <3 i miss him

fun activity you would like to get into: i want to bake more and maybe learn how to make a couple different breads this year!

last video game: the sims 4

last comic/graphic novel: i read a few pages of the maximum ride manga during my rereading of the novel and i truly could not handle very much of it lol

tagging: @dorothygale @uh-ohspaghettio @obrienpolycule @gregmarriage if u want to! love to know what yall are up to <3

[happiiest]

a few quick missions and some minor stress tests running warframe with chrome and discord all at once it didmt crash (:

[unrefinedmusings]

Devil Strange - Part 1

Part 2

I've had a few drinks tonight and I've also been writing a ton lately (fanfic and other stuff) so I'm just gonna post whatever nonsense that I can come up with, so here's some nonsense where Stephen Strange is the devil. Idk maybe I'll do a part 2?? me + gin = disaster

Devil Stephen Strange x Virgin Sacrifice Reader

Warnings: suggestive, darkish, mentions of ritual sacrifice but nothing graphic

You awoke to near darkness. Your head was pounding and your body felt heavy from slumber. Feeling yourself falling back into unconsciousness, you fought it by lifting your head to observe your surroundings. You were lying on a king sized bed with dark silk sheets. To your left you saw a large window letting in moonbeams, the only source of light in the room. The room was massive with high ceilings and an opposite wall shrouded in shadow from your position on the bed. 

You sat upright in bed as your memories flooded back. Focusing on the last thing you could recall, you shuddered.

A dark room, figures in robes, small flames flickering on candles. 

Beneath you, a pentagram painted on the floor.

A short white dress covering your body.

Terror overtook you as you realized what was going on. You had recently become an apprentice to a witch. She ran a small occult store that you were working at when you asked her to teach you. She agreed but warned that practicing magic could attract less than savory characters into your life. They would be drawn to the mystic energy around you. You brushed off her warnings and ended up knocked unconscious one night while walking home after work. You awoke to a ceremony taking place around you. 

Loud chanting, chains on your wrists, then nothing but fire.

Even as you looked down and saw yourself in the same dress as your memories, you told yourself this couldn’t be happening. Despite practicing magic yourself, satanic rituals and even demons seemed so absurd. You had not been sacrificed to Satan, there was just no—

“You’re awake,” a deep voice rang out from the shadows, startling a yelp out of you.

“Who are you?”, you let out in a shaky voice, your hands clenching the bedsheets.

They chuckled, “Do we really need to go over that?”. Heavy footsteps rang out in the dead silence of the room. Then, a figure came out of the shadows and into the moonlight. It was a man, or something that looked like one. Tall, dark hair, and a muscular frame. He was nude save for a pair of black boxer shorts. As he came closer, you saw the details of his form: silver streaks in his hair, ice blue eyes, chiseled jaw, and…horns…two small black horns coming out of his head just beneath his hairline.

You screamed.

“Well that’s a little dramatic,” he remarked in a bored tone.

“What the fuck is this?!,” you screeched at him.

“I know you still have your memory. You can’t put it together?”, he teased, amused at your terrified expression. Within an instant, the strange figure went from standing in the middle of the room to sitting at the edge of the bed, an arms length away from you. 

You screamed again and hurriedly moved yourself backwards until you hit the headboard.

“I’m the devil, little girl.”

You whimpered, “Am I in hell?”

He smirked and said, “No, we’re in New York.”

“But you live in hell.”

“I’m the all powerful ruler of the underworld. Do you really think I can’t come and go to the mortal realm as I please?”, he quipped while reaching out to trace a finger over your knee. “Especially when I get offered such a tasty little present.”

You jerked your leg away from his touch. “I’m not a present,” you huffed.

“I guess virgin sacrifice is the technical term.”

Your heart was pounding and you let out a shaky breath, a thousand ideas of what he was going to inflict upon you running through your head. Some of them weren’t completely unpleasant. Despite the fright and confusion you felt, you also had an overactive and entirely inappropriate libido that went into hyperdrive when presented with someone so tall, dark, and handsome. While you lacked real world experience, your imagination liked to think it was well versed in knowledge of the physical.

“You know, lots of people do rituals like this everyday. All over the globe, people sacrifice and offer things in my name,” he explained. “That doesn’t mean I have to accept. I almost always don’t. Rarely does anything ever catch my interest.”

He stood up and tugged you along by the hand, bringing you close to his body. Fisting a hand in your hair to force you to look at him, he whispered, “But you just looked so tempting, so delicious. I couldn’t help myself.”

His other hand ran its way down the length of your body, caressing your soft curves and lingering on your hip. He brought his head down and rasped against your lips, “I thought it would be a fun little enterprise to take a sweet, innocent thing like you all wrapped up in white,” His hand moved lower to the hem of your dress, “And turn her into a whore,” before roughly gripping the fabric and tearing it off your body.

[brutlist-archive]

life sometimes has seriously really bad timing. i’m putting this under a read more because it gets pretty graphic, but i have to admit that i need help because of the current events that my health has undergone. 

i’ve been doing pretty financially well these past few months, my work has been steady, things have been pretty normal up until recently when my landlord emailed us about a month ago notifying us that we had until september 30th to leave the house bc having people living in it while he was making on and off repairs proved to ironically be just “too inconvenient”. that was all well and fine, i have a room i’m lining up to move into soon and had been pretty confident with it until this past saturday when i woke up at 5A with rapid heart palpitations, the left side of my body going numb, and the left side of my face starting to droop during a visit i was spending with my mother at her apartment. i was rushed to the urgent care center down the way, received two CT scans and a chest x-ray that almost directly afterward once i had been deposited back into my room, i immediately began to hallucinate ( saw dust particles spiraling over my head until it funneled and tried to attack me, the tv monitor turned into water, letters on the posters drifted apart from each other and became weirdly cartoonish idk how to describe it; i couldn’t let my eyes focus anywhere or else i’d hallucinate something else ). a few seconds later while i was awestruck by the last hallucination (more dust particles but they were glittery and came raining down from the ceiling, it was actually very pretty) i blacked out, and woke up again with nurses everywhere, my mom holding me up as i vomited into two bags. i can’t really remember what happened after, i just know the nurses were suddenly gone, and it was just me and my mom in the doctor’s room. she told me i had just gone through a severe seizure that had i guess lasted a while, she couldn’t say. i bit my tongue so hard i nearly took a chunk out of it.  i was taken by ambulance back to the actual hospital for an MRI, that i’m waiting to hear back on now. i had seized so hard i had burst an innumerable amount of capillaries and blood vessels in my eyes to the point where i looked like i had sunburn. it’s been two days and they’re still fading. the hallucinations didn’t stop even after i was taken home but gradually, thankfully, i started to revert back to normal, though left indescribably lethargic and confused. i think it’s safe to say i had a stroke that resulted in a seizure as my brain tried to hard reset itself. i’ve never been so fucking scared for my life. i cried. i thought i was going to die.  my boss is being uncharacteristically benevolent and is allowing me the week to rest and recover. walking is still a little weird. i might end up going to work anyway on wednesday, or at least thursday so i can bring in something. i’m worried, because i have my top surgery next week, which is going to put me back out of work for probably another few days (thankfully two will be on pto but in the entire six months of working at this fucking job, that is literally all i was able to accrue). i still have bills i have to pay, the rent at where i’m still staying, and the rent for the new place on top of a security deposit. i’m in big trouble lol. my mother said i’ll always have a home wherever she is, but i’d rather not if i can avoid it as she’s a better friend than she ever was a parent. 

i am not looking for pity. i just need some help. thankfully the moratorium in my city is still up, so i can skip out on rent for a little and use what money i do pull in for the next few months (while still paying partials to my landlord so i don’t completely screw myself over) to save up for the move. i’m confident i can make it before the deadline, but i really might need some help doing so. it’s out of my hands.  if you need them, if you want them, i still have my discharge papers and can prove that this actually happened. we’re thinking that it might have been my antidepressants, my jaw spasms didn’t start until i started taking it and we didn’t realize until just now lmao; apparently those are some kind of seizure in of them selves that i’ve been unknowingly having for the better part of a year. i dunno officially until i speak with the neurologist. if you’re up to helping, i appreciate you , here is my paypal . if you can’t afford to help but still want to pass this around, i still appreciate you. thank you for reading this far. please be good to yourself. if you think something is wrong with you, don’t wait. 

[angry-geese]

Favourite Worst Nightmare

Secco x Reader and that gross green guy i guess >:(

Warnings: sfw. Mentions of violence and injury but nothing too graphic. A little suggestive towards the end. Gn!Reader

Notes: ehhh idk what this is but I feel like i should apologize for it. Reader ends up running a job for Cioccolata and Secco and survives the encounter

Part Two

There were very few things you hated more than running packages for Unita Speciale.

As a courier, you were one of the more replaceable- albeit necessary- parts of the gangs; the gears that kept the machine of Passione running. To put it lightly, this was never a life you wanted. When you came to Italy you never planned on spending the rest of your days as a half-rate mobster.

Technically, you worked independently. You didn't fall under the jurisdiction of any specific group. It was a fancy way of saying you were on your own. God help you if you accidentally pissed someone off because no one was coming to your rescue. Considering you could be targeted by warring gangs for running packages, you hoped the pay would be decent.

It wasn't.

Italy's underground wasn't how you expected it to be. It was harsh- you knew it'd be like that- but nothing like the mafia movies you watched as a kid. As cheesy as it sounds, they were still people, each with their own stories to tell. Being in your position, you listened. It was safer to play along and make friends than become the enemy of your worst nightmare. Jobs for smaller groups were typically safer but didn't pay enough to survive. Those with more reach- specifically ones closer to the boss- paid better.

From the outside, the building was unassuming. It was once an apartment complex- still is, technically- but only two people live there. Long ago it was designated as a hideout.

You've never spent much time at the place. You weren't often desperate enough to take their jobs. People talked. It's reputation was not unknown to you. You were well aware of the doctor and his... whatever the hell the other guy was. Assistant doesn't feel like the right word, and pet- however fitting- seems a bit dehumanizing. Though maybe it should. You've been warned these two were dangerous.

The sooner you get this over with the better.

You knock in the pattern Passione uses to identify other members. Two-three-two.

A set of unblinking purple eyes stares at you from the crack in the door. Part of you is glad its him who answered the door and not the other one. Your meetings with them have been few, and only in passing. These are not people you want to give the benefit of the doubt. Physically, Secco isn't very imposing. But beneath Oasis is lithe muscle that could drop you in an instant.

You pull the package from you bag, offering it to him.

"What is it?" He asks.

"A parcel." You say.

You know better than to open it, but you'd be lying if you said you weren't tempted to. It's likely money. Which you could use, though they'd notice it missing before you could even leave the city. Someone seemed to want it- evident by the man who attacked you. Clearly you won, but you didn't come out unscathed.

"Let them in." Someone says from the other room. It's faint, but clear.

The hairs on the back of your neck stand.

The room is sparsely furnished, with a single leather couch and coffee table, and blank walls. If you hadn't been told someone lived here, you would think the place was empty. It's sterile, white, and clinical in every sense of the word. At least get some decorations or something. You may be a mafioso, but you at least make your apartment look lived in. They don't seem to take interest in creature comforts the way you do.

The door seems to echo in the room as its shut. You take a few stiff steps forward, stopping just a few feet from the entrance. Its then the other man appears- covered up to his elbows in blood. He has the gall to look rather annoyed.

"You brought a gun," Cioccolata circles you, "cute."

"It's nothing personal, Signore." You say. "I need to defend myself."

"Are you not a stand user?" He asks.

"No."

It feels safer to lie. Maybe he'll go easier on you. Having gained one rather recently- and then never using it- meant you didn't have the best grasp on your abilities.

"Sit," he switches out his gloves for a new pair, "I'll stitch up that wound."

"That's not necessary."

"Consider it payment," he passes the package off to Secco.

Despite everything within you telling you to run, you sit. It's only a stab wound, though you should get it checked out. God forbid it gets infected. Someone like him doesn't do good deeds, but nothing about this strikes you as dubious. Often times people offered you smokes or drinks in return, this isn't too different.

He doesn't numb the wound before stitching it up. It hurts, but not bad enough to say something. Part of you is alright with that- he didn't drug you. That thought is comforting.

Those unblinking eyes stare up at you from your lap. Secco's hand not-so subtly reaches into your bag, pulling out a stash of chocolate you meant to save for later. The two of you lock eyes.

"That's a weird looking dog." You don't really mean to say it out loud.

He sits by your feet, gnawing on the sweets, rubbing up against your leg like a cat. As uneasy as it makes you, you fear his reaction if you ask him to stop. It wouldn't kill you to suffer through a few minutes of this. Pissing him off might.

"Secco seems to like you." Cioccolata mentions.

You're not sure how you feel about that. It doesn't seem quite so innocent.

"Those sutures can come out in a week." He says. "I'm sure you know the drill; don't get them wet, keep them clean, don't tear the wound back open."

You gather your things and leave.

Maybe that job lured you into a false sense of security.

If they wanted you dead, you would be. The reasoning seems sound enough in your head.

You'd go on to run more packages for them.

The pay was decent enough. Nobody else tried to mug you. People in general gave you a wide berth. For the most part, you were left alone. Whether they had something to do with it- or if it was just rumors- you'd never know. You didn't question it. To be the one who looked the mad doctor in the eyes and live was reason enough. Your situation was far from good, but you were a long stretch from being at rock bottom.

It became a routine for you. Your run wasn't long, and it wasn't in a shady part of town either. Get to a pickup point, deliver the package, try not to die. You got comfortable.

Secco opens the door before you can even knock. He seems to have a sixth sense for whenever you're around. He does his usual act of raiding your bag for sweets- of which you make sure to keep a small stash of. It keeps him occupied, and usually far away from you.

You sit while Cioccolata finishes up whatever he's doing in the basement. Don't question it. Those definitely weren't screams. You should know better than to go poking around where you don't belong. Despite growing used to the sterile nature of their apartment, the basement brought up a visceral fear in you.

Secco practically climbs into your lap. Despite not being too imposing physically, he's heavy. You absentmindedly scratch his head while you wait.

"Stay with us," Secco runs his icy hands up your sides, squeezing the fleshy parts of your hips. His grip is strong, and only tightens when you try to squirm away. He grows tired of you struggling, and pulls you up into his arms, heading towards the basement.

[faithiegirl01]

Faithie’s Tag You’re It Corner:

Get To Know Me:

Thank you for the tag @supernaturalgirl20 🥰 my first real tag. Nobody ever really tags me in much…

Rules: Tag a few people you want to know better; make a new post, don’t reblog!

If you have anything else to ask me after this go right ahead! I’d love to answer your questions!

Favourite colour: Blue 💙 my second is 🧡

Currently Reading: Well I am a very sporadic reader, when I do read I’m reading two or more books at a time all while listening to the sound tracks (if they have movies connected to them) of those said books as I do read… the two books I’m working my way though for the millionth time right now would be The Magic Mountain and Maze Runner. I am also getting ready to start American Assassin again as well. Oh and of course my daily fan fiction. My phone is always open on a fan fiction if am not working on my own fic work.

Last Series: I’m currently watching two things at the moment. I am currently watching Moon Knight and The Mentalist (I’m slowly working my way though all of Pedro Pascal’s work 😉). But what I watch Varys everyday… I watch a lot of T.V. And Movies…

Sweet, Spicy or Savory: Most of the time sweet, but I do have odd times where I crave something spicy or savory. I mostly chose sweet or savory though. Spicy is only there far and wide.

Coffee or Tea: Neither if I had to choose a hot drink I’d probably go for hot chocolate, but I also do VERY occasionally like my tea. It also depends on what tea it actually is. I love the smell of coffee, but HATE the taste unless sometimes it’s in a cold brew even then most of the time it’s a no.

Three Ships: well I have a lot. I have real world and fictional. Three real world ones would be 1. My mamma and dad 2. Cole and Sav Labrant and 3. Jeremy and Carolyn Shada and for my fictional I’d say 1. Cinderella and Prince Charming (a classic…) 2. Lady and The Tramp (another classic…) and 3. Danny and Lindsay Messer. There’s definitely so many more where those came from…

First Ship Ever: Either my Mamma and Dad or Anakin and Padme Skywalker or Danny and Lindsay Messer not really sure which one came 100% first.

Currently Working On: hmmm 🤔 idk there’s way too many to name 😂. Y’all can just go take a look at my upcoming works page on my writing page @fandomgirlz01

Fave Piece Of Clothing: not really sure… I really love my 50s/40s styled dress (it’s kinda in between the two styles…) that I wore for my graduation and all of my graphic tees. I also really love my Faith like a Mustard Seed shirt… idk though. I’m not really sure I have a “favorite” though. I’m the kind of person whose favorites are almost always changing except for the very few ones like favorite color etc…

Comfort Food: Umm idk I’m more of a snacker. I snack all day then when it comes to actual meal times I don’t normally eat all my food unless I didn’t eat all day at all, but I do really love my mamma’s tuna casserole and could eat a whole pan of that. Idk if that counts though. I do really love McDonald’s and will eat that at every chance I get so I guess McDonald’s is my “Comfort food”.

Fave Time Of Year: Again this is always changing, but I mainly find myself liking like in between spring and summer… ya know when you wake up in the morning and it’s just nice outside then slowly though out the day it progresses into warmer wether… I absolutely love those days they just seem… peaceful.

Fave Fan Fiction: Umm I pretty much like everything, but I am an absolute sucker for anything angst to fluff or like besties to lovers or when the guys is absolutely protective of the girl or when one character saves the other. Idk if y’all would like y’all can look though my other page @reblogingqueen for more insight to what I usually read.

Tagging: No Pressure

@dindjarindiaries @absurdthirst @nurse-buckley @need2stopprocrastinating @just-jordie-things @marjorie189

[crystalstar8]

Knights of the Night (ch 21)

Chapter 21

Ch 1, ch 2, ch 3, ch 4, ch 5, ch 6, ch 7, ch 8, ch 9, ch 10, ch 11, ch 12, ch 13, ch 14, ch 15, ch 16, ch 17, ch 18, ch 19, ch 20, ch 21

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29139240/chapters/71536491

pairing: Jungkook x oc

genre: vampire au, college au, twilight, romance

word count: 2,998

warnings: blood (obviously), kidnapping, child kidnapping, needles, France, human trafficking

notes: vampires, vampire au, college, college au, so many twilight references, blood, needles, kidnapping, children, homelessness, dance, ballet, flashbacks, romance, slow burn, probably no smut, idk yet tho, France, French things, attempted genocide, inaccurate French history, bisexual main character, @strawberriewithchocolate-blog @mozy-j  @daechwitad-2​ @zobadak​ @fallenstar-7​​​

summary: Catalina starts college in a small town all the way across the country. She doesn’t know anyone and isn’t exactly looking for friends. She just wants to focus on dance. But when she meets fellow dance major, Jimin, and adventurous, fellow freshman, Jungkook, Catalina ends up discovering a whole new side to the small college town; one that is dangerous but oh so enticing...

TW: violence, gore, graphic descriptions of gore

(sorry for the wait, but it think it turned out pretty good, if i do say so myself. Also, i just don't know what to do for the pictures anymore lol.)

“Just so we’re clear, you’re probably not going to use this thing the day of,” said Jimmy K. “You two and Jin are gonna be evacuating the captives while the rest of us fight. All this training is just in case.”

               “I know,” said Jungkook. “I still want to learn how to use it.”

               The heavy double propane tanks were strapped to Jungkook’s back, the hose in hand.

               “It’s pretty easy,” said Jimmy K. “Just open the valve and pull the trigger.”

               Training with Jimmy K was fun but grueling. They had been doing target practice for hours, which was tedious. By the time evening hit, Catalina’s shoulder hurt and she just wanted to see her boyfriend use a flamethrower. She wasn’t disappointed. He was downright giddy as he twisted the valve open on the tank behind his head, then blasted the practice dummies. The dummies, along with all the arrows sticking out of them, burst into flames. Jungkook laughed gleefully, the light of the fire glinting in his eyes.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~

               She couldn’t move, and the metal against her neck was pressing harder. She wished she could reach out for Jimin’s hand beside her, but he couldn’t move either. She wished Jungkook wouldn’t look at her like that, with dread and desperation in his eyes. She wished he wouldn’t try so hard to get to her, she didn’t want him to die too. He needed to get out safely. She tried to open her mouth to tell him that, but then the hand holding the knife to her throat moved and the last thing she heard was a scream.

               “Cat! Wake up!”

               Catalina woke with a start, sweating, tears streaming down her face. She was in her room.

               “Cat?”

               She startled again, her heart still pounding before she saw Jungkook beside her. He was looking at her with concern, a hand reaching out to cup her face.

               “You were having a nightmare,” he said. Catalina sighed and closed her eyes, leaning into his palm.

               “I don’t remember it,” she said. That was a lie. She did remember it, but she didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t know what all these dreams meant and she didn’t want to. She felt him pull her closer and wrap his arms around her.

               “Go back to sleep,” he said. “No more dreams tonight.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

               The mansion was packed. Well, the foyer was packed. When Catalina and Jungkook arrived, they were surprised to see so many people, so many vampires, already there. The unfamiliar faces stared at them as they pushed through the crowd.

               They found Hoseok in the back of the lounge, playing on his phone on the couch.

               “This is a party in here,” said Catalina.

               “Yeah, Namjoon’s friends from up north got here yesterday,” said Hoseok. “Can you believe this is all one clan?”

               “Out there?” Jungkook asked. “That’s all one group? There’s like twenty of them out there!”

               “Is he expecting more?” asked Catalina.

               “I don’t think so,” said Hoseok. “Namjoon already went over the plan with them over night. Most of them don’t even care a whole lot about saving humans, they’re just in it for fun. I guess it’s okay, as long as the job gets done.”

               “True,” said Catalina. “We’ll need all the help we can get. So, we’re doing this thing tonight? Are you nervous?”

               Hoseok thought for a moment before turning to her and saying, “They ruined my life. I’m fine now that I have these guys, but I could have finished college and done something with myself. And they ruined that chance for me. So, I think I’m ready to end them.”

               The conviction in his eyes was almost startling to Catalina. She’s never seen him like this, but it made her happy. He was ready to take his life back.

               “Are you ready?” Jungkook asked Catalina, taking her hand.

               “I think so,” she said. “I want this to end.”

~~~~~~~~~~~

               They arrived at the same time as the police. Catalina waited outside the entrance for the signal. Emergency vehicles lined the perimeter, ambulances opening their doors and readying themselves for patients.

“How many do you think will be in there?” she asked Namjoon. He looked confidant ordering the vampires around, but he hesitated when he answered.

“There should be no more than thirty,” he said. He sounded sure of himself, but Catalina caught a flash of nervousness in his eyes. She looked over at her other friends. Yoongi was dressed in a tracksuit, an ornate sword on his hip. His grip was tight, knuckles white. Taehyung looked fierce and determined, but he was chewing on his lip and pacing. Hoseok looked the most nervous, picking at his already torn sleeves, eyeing the building with trepidation.

They called themselves immortal, but Catalina knew they weren’t. They were just as nervous as she was.

She watched Jimmy K lead the vampires into the building, one small group at a time. She watched Namjoon, Taehyung, Yoongi, and Hoseok go in. She waited three minutes, then went in herself. She knew Namjoon was going to try to find Makai and make a deal first. If that didn’t work, they would fight. Catalina hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but as she descended the stairs and entered the tunnel, she knew it wasn’t going well. Voices bounced off the cement walls, mixing with the clanging of her footsteps against the metal floor. As soon as she reached the end of the tunnel, one of Namjoon’s friends, Priya, Catalina remembered, met her there.

Priya supposedly had very good hypnotic abilities, even against other vampires, which was why Namjoon chose her as their cover. She would make sure Catalina, Jungkook, and Jin got in and out without being seen. Catalina never got the chance to witness those abilities, so she just had to trust Namjoon’s word for it.

The fight had broken out in the central part of the basement. She couldn’t see her friends, but she didn’t want to spend too much time searching for them in the chaos. She needed to focus on her task. Catalina made it to the first door. The metal lock mechanism was tight and she had to get Priya’s help opening it. Once it was opened, she rushed to the person inside. It was a pale woman, lips so blue and eyes so sunken, Catalina would have assumed her to be dead in she hadn’t cracked her eyes open.

After taking the needle out and checking for any other wounds, she asked, “Do you think you can walk?”

The woman just stared at her, so Catalina lifted the woman’s arm and draped it over her shoulders, helping the woman to her feet. She was almost dead weight at first, surprisingly light, but then she slowly started shuffling her feet, trying her best to stay upright. A loud boom shook the ground, making Catalina flinch.

As fast as they could, they made their way back to the tunnel. Catalina glanced into the crowd. Across the giant room, an entire wall was destroyed, dust still in the air. She still couldn’t see her friends.

Jungkook and Jin, along with two police officers met them at the bottom of the stairs. The officers took the woman from Catalina.

“It sounds bad,” said Jungkook, his eyes wide.

“I can’t really tell what’s happening,” said Catalina. “I didn’t see any of them.”

Jungkook squeezed her hand once before heading down the tunnel with Priya.

“I’ll be quick,” he said.

Catalina watched him go. The sounds of the battle seemed to get louder. A scream broke through the noise, but it didn’t sound like someone she knew. She hoped Jungkook was staying safe. Waiting for him to return was agony. She didn’t know what she would do if he got hurt. Her worry must have been showing through, because Jin put a hand on her shoulder.

Two more officers came downstairs and waited with them.

By the time ten minutes passed, Catalina was shaking. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the entrance of the tunnel.

Footsteps echoed against the metal floor and Catalina’s heart sped up. When she saw Jungkook round the corner, she felt the tension melt off of her. He was carrying a young man in his arms and the woman hobbling beside him was clutching his arm and leaning into him. He passed the young man off to the officers, one of them carrying the man, the other helping the woman up the stairs.

As soon as Jungkook’s arms were free, Catalina threw herself at him. Jin took off down the tunnel with Priya next.

She didn’t let go of Jungkook for several minutes.

“Did you see them?” she asked. He shook his head.

The two officers from before came down the stairs and about a minute later, Jin appeared, helping someone down the tunnel.

The three of them continued like this, eventually trying their best to pick up two or three people each time.

The battle seemed to be calming down, and the next time Catalina went in, she noticed that almost everyone was either subdued or standing around. Someone was talking at the other side of the crowd, but she couldn’t see who it was, she couldn’t tell by the voice either. She still couldn’t see her friends.

The hallway was almost all open doors and empty rooms now. There were only a few left at the end of the hall. If the people inside could walk, she would try to get all of them at once.

Before she could reach the end of the hallway, a woman stepped out from one of the rooms, blocking them from going any further. Catalina recognized her as the blonde woman, Amanda. She was just as glamorous as she remembered, her blonde hair cascading over her shoulder, her red lips curled into a sinister smile.

Priya stepped in front of Catalina.

“Just go back to the others,” said Priya. “They must be looking for you.”

“I can smell her,” said Amanda. “You’re trying to hide her from me, but I know her scent. She’s right behind you, isn’t she?”

Priya didn’t say anything, she just clenched her fists at her sides.

“You don’t have to try anymore,” said Amanda. “I know her scent from the field. And when she visited us pretending to be Yoongi’s familiar.”

Catalina realized with a start that she never saw Amanda that day they bought Jimin. Which meant she was watching them the whole time, keeping herself unseen. Catalina felt a shiver run down her spine.

“We have your little friend,” said Amanda. “He’s our bargaining chip. Would you like to join him? It’ll pack a bigger punch if we have two of their pets instead of one.”

Priya growled and stepped forward. She didn’t get much of a chance to attack before Amanda lunged at her, faster than Catalina could even see. Amanda made quick work of Priya, wrestling her to the ground and snapping her neck so far around, her flesh was torn and her dead eyes stared at the ceiling as her chest hit the floor.

Catalina turned around and ran. She ran into an adjoining hallway, taking turns down tunnels she had no idea existed. She didn’t look back to see if Amanda was behind her. She ran until her lungs burned.

Where was she? She didn’t recognize this part of the facility. It looked like a service tunnel; cement walls were covered in pipes and access panels. The ground was metal grating, just like the entrance tunnel. Red, caged lights sparsely lined the bottom of the walls. The red light did nothing to calm her fear. Amanda wasn’t behind her. How? She was faster, Catalina shouldn’t stand a chance.

If I can get to Namjoon, or any of the others, they’ll protect me, she thought. But she didn’t know how to get back. She couldn’t stop moving though. The twists and turns were almost labyrinthine, taking her further and further away from her friends. Further away from her safety. That’s when another thought crossed her mind.

The longer she was gone, the more likely Jungkook was to go looking for her. And that was the last thing she wanted. They already had Jimin, or that’s what she thought anyway. She assumed that’s what Amanda was insinuating.

“Here, kitty kitty,” Amanda’s voice echoed throughout the tunnel. “If you keep running, you’ll run into some monsters down here. And pretty kitties like you will most certainly get eaten by the monsters.”

Catalina couldn’t see Amanda anywhere, but her voice sent a chill through her. Where has she heard those words before? Where has she seen this tunnel before? The familiar burn in her lungs forced her to stop and catch her breath.

Why did it feel like Catalina had already done all this?

A shadow dropped from the ceiling in front of her. Before she could scream, Amanda lunged at her and slapped a hand over her mouth.

“Where’s your other human friends?” she asked. “Where’s the pretty one with the big eyes?”

The hand over her mouth didn’t let up, so Catalina couldn’t answer even if she wanted to. Amanda wasn’t waiting around for an answer though. Catalina’s arms were secured behind her back with ease and she was forced to walk. They somehow made it out of the winding tunnels and to Makai’s office unnoticed.

Laying on one of the couches was Jimin, bound and gagged. Catalina’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, I wondered why I recognized this guy when we first got him,” said Makai. He was sitting behind his desk, looking over at Jimin. “I thought maybe I had run into him somewhere in town, or maybe at my yoga lessons on Thursdays. But then Yoongi bought him, and I realized he was one of the humans at the baseball field that day. I can’t believe it took me so long to figure it out! Yoongi was a good actor that day, wasn’t he?”

Catalina didn’t answer.

“Yeah, you guys were good,” said Makai. “And at first, it was fine. He bought his friend back. No big deal. At the end of the day, I still got paid and could keep doing what I was doing. But then you all came in here and wrecked my stuff. It made me kind of sad. I really did like Yoongi. I thought he was cool. I thought his whole clan was cool! Don’t worry, I’m not going to kill them. At least I’ll try not to. I want to work a deal out with them, and that’s where you come in.”

“It’s just a harmless trade,” said Amanda.

“Right! It sounds like they’re talking out there right now, so let’s go out there and see if we can work something out,” said Makai. His smile then disappeared as he stood up from behind the desk. He pulled out two large pocket knives, opening one and handing the other to Amanda. If it’s a harmless trade, why do they have those?, Catalina thought. She didn’t want to die today. She didn’t want Jimin to die and she hoped to God Jungkook stuck to the plan because she didn’t want him to die either.

Makai hauled Jimin to his feet and pushed him out the door. Amanda shoved Catalina after them.

The battle was still halted. Namjoon was at the front of the crowd, speaking with a woman. Mohati. Catalina remembered her from the baseball field. Yoongi was beside him. Taehyung was there as well, a subdued vampire on the ground under his knee.

“ALRIGHT, EVERYONE SHUT UP!” Makai bellowed. The crowd went silent and everyone’s attention was brought to the two vampires and their human captives. Catalina saw Namjoon’s eyes widen at the sight of them. She saw panic flash through Taehyung’s eyes. He almost stood up. She couldn’t see where Hoseok was. She hoped he was okay.

Makai began speaking, addressing mainly Namjoon. They argued, but Catalina couldn’t focus on the conversation over her own pounding heartbeat. Namjoon took a step forward and Amanda brought her knife to Catalina’s throat. Makai did the same with Jimin. His eyes were wide and terrified. He was staring at Taehyung, who matched his expression. Catalina squeezed her eyes closed. The metal dug into her neck. She swore it was breaking the skin. She could hear Jimin’s panicked breathing and she wanted to reach a hand out to him, but her arms were held in an iron grip. Another voice made her eyes fly open.

Jungkook had pushed through the crowd and Yoongi was now holding him back from approaching. Catalina met his eyes. She never wanted to see that kind of terror in his eyes. That pain. She never wanted to see him crying the way he was. Catalina felt tears well up in her own eyes at the sight.

“…you know we can’t let you do that,” Namjoon was saying. “There has to be something we can work out…”

Catalina assumed Makai wanted to bribe Namjoon into letting him continue his organization. She assumed Namjoon was trying to work out a way to not let that happen, but without casualties. Blood was rushing in her ears and the only thing she could focus on was Jungkook. She wanted to tell him not to do anything rash. He needed to stay alive. He needed to get out of this unharmed.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of movement. A vampire she didn’t recognize tried to attack Makai. Namjoon yelled at him to stop, but it was too late. The vampire was tackled by Mohati and the last thing Catalina heard was Jungkook, screaming her name, before she felt the searing pain of the knife dragging across her throat.

Within seconds, her hearing went out, her vision went dark, and before her mind went blank, she prayed she was the only one dying today.

[caroline-nighthunter]

-Rating and gushing about every Wizard101 “World”/Arc-  

Imma just gush about my month of Wizard101 and how I finally got to a close “end” of the game.

24/12 Edit: Fixed some typos here and there and added some stuff.

07/09 Edit: KI decided to fully revamp Wiz city also changing some lore so the rating on that is outdated. Might also put my thought of the new Wiz City there once I’m through all the new content.

Arc 1 - Malistaire - 10/10

Prob my favourite.

The writing really ties in every world, even when you speedquest through it.

Contains a lot of my favourite worlds.

I’m still crying over Mali to this day...

(Old) Wizard City - 10/10

Literally the introduction to the game and the place I spent most of my time in when I was a crownless and membershipless young wizard.

Do you want to farm Nightshade or Kraken?

That graphic revamp really punched.

Fave Places To chill: Nightside, Commons, Ravenwood, Cyclops Lane

Krokotopia - 11/10

This world made me fall in love with Wizard101

Egyptian aesthetic o-o

I was once a balance wizard you know?

Cries over the plot in the tomb of storms

Also KROKODILES

Fave Places To chill: Krokosphinx, School Of Balance

Marleybone - 10/10

I liked the Wizard version, but the Pirate version is more my jam.

Everyone is lookin dapper.

Home of the Doc- I mean Professor!

The whole worlds feels like Cats, but with dogs and the plot is Sherlock Holmes.

Barkingham Palace Gear o-o

Fave Places To chill: The Museum. 

Mooshu 7/10

Japan and China vibes

Your usual warlord chaos

Everything is BRIGHT GREEN

It felt  S H O R T

Has pretty nice wand drops

Fave Places To chill: Jade Palace

Dragonspyre 12/10  

This is what you get when you throw Roman aesthetic, Prussian History and a pinch of Russia into a pot.

The amount of subtle history references is making me listen to every line of dialogue I can get from this world.

D R A G O N S

Milos Bookwyrm is kinda a darlin

We kill Mali here :’)

Fave Places To chill: The Atheneum, wherever my battle drake chills

Arc 2 - Morganthe - 9/10

Has nice spots here and there.

Writing is still good, but a little less engaging.

Morganthe was so over the top “bad bitch” that it got annoying

Grandpappy spider was the saving grace of the arc

Celestia - 8/10

Solid world, story was kinda meh

ASTRAL MAGIC

Is this Skull Island??? Why are there water moles??? I thought they only exist in Skull Island????

Basically Atlantis

WAND OF STASIS

Fave Places To chill: Watermole Village

Zafaria - 8/10

Jambo Wizard!

The plot is Belloq and crazy tse-tse zebra ruining everyones day.

All they wanted was a nice zafari, all they got was misery and running into Morganthe worshippers.

Flameingo can’t take it anymore...

“Son I’m disappointed”

Fave Places To chill: Baobab Crown

Avalon - 9/10

Love it, but something is missing?

King Arthur, but you’re Arthur.

How to become a knight 101

FINALLY I CAN GET DEER KNIGHT

The source of Morganthes saltiness

Everyone is prob scared of me because I rode a battle badger during my stay...

Fave Places To chill: Caliburn

Azteca - 9.5/10

Hello and Bye...

I will never be able to do casual side questing here anymore...

The plot was nice, but you know, IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE WAS NOT WHAT I EXPECTED

Do not speedquest through this if you are a plot person, DO NOT

Cries over birb and dinosaur friends...

The music was the best part of it.

Fave Places To chill: N o w h e r e  a f t e r  t h a t  d a r n  m e t h e o r i t e, almost everywhere before that

Khrysalis - 9.8/10

L O O O O O N G

It was to be expected though

Mouse Guard vibes

The furniture sets for this suck and there is no proper furniture to obtain otherwise...

One Wizard Army (with the help of some deer friends) pls do not kill me for my bad word puns

I’d feel bad about how Morganthe ended, but after Azteca I really don’t have anything left for that whiny bitch...

A lot of people want my head...

Hello there hand- I mean hello there Spider.

Captain Colridge, if you had a pegleg I’d be 100% sure you’re ratbeard gone out of shape.

I love the dynamic changes to the Bastion once you progress

SHADOW MAGIC no one uses though because it’s not worth the pips and time 

Fave Places To chill: Last Woods 

Arc 3 - Spider And Raven - 6/10

Had solid concepts, kinda threw them out of the window

I do not like the writing in a majority of the arc

I think I was so disappointed, because I hyped these worlds up so much, the expectations did not meet reality

The ending was a no no

Plot was barely engaging

I only pushed through this for the concepts of Mirage and Polaris and wanted to see where Grandpappy Spider went

Polaris - 7/10

WAY TOO SHORT

You spent half of the time in the arcanum anyway

I don’t like Mellori, but that is just me

REVOLUTION TIME!

I don’t like that we had to throw a ship worth of fish into the sea, although they apparently still live? Somehow?

Everyone was at full right to overthrow the Empress though, she was horrible.

Where is Napoleguin???

RA RA RATSPUTIN, LOVER OF- wait  w h a t ? ? ?

I don’t like the Arcanum, but I guess I’ll be a part of it.

Fave Places To chill: Walruskberg, Captain Colridges Tavern 

Mirage - 6.5/10

The more you hype, the more you’ll be disappointed...

Again the Spider part of the plot was good, the other was  e h

If I’m going to have to talk to another snobby over the top whiny cat I’m going to lose it.

Boochbeard, where is Mr. Gandry?

Bara Snakes.

Istar stop whining about bugs.

Ozzy you’re my best bud in this.

House themed GEAR, APARTMENTS and MOUNTS, but you gotta defeat a 100 enemies before that...

Love the world design though

THE MAGIC CARPET RIDE

Fave Places To chill: Caravan, anywhere you can wander through endless sand

Empyrea 4/10

This is what happens when you throw too many things together

S t a r  T r e k 

Medulla shut up

The idea to have an isle in the eye of a storm is cool though

Zanadu was kinda meh (prob because I remember most of it just happening in a sewer)

That dance session though, Khan rocks

The dwarfes were also kinda meh, just didn’t fit with the concepts of the previous areas 

Cthulu island was also kinda meh

Ending of the first half was literally Batman and although I know “The Bat” and “The cabal” it kinda came out of nowhere...

And then I pretty much lost interest in the world

The Reverie got me again, nice and fresh mechanics.

I will make a seperate rant on the ending, but no... I don’t like it at all and I don’t see Spider forgiving Raven as a good ending

Felt really forced

Hit some bad spots with me...

I thought we could fight Raven??? >:O

Fave Places To chill: Reverie

Arc 4 - idk what is going on

Karamelle ?/10

Ja moin, guten Tag allerseits.

Haven’t gotten there yet, but man, I’m not up for dictator Nana... :T

Spells look pathetic o k

If you try denglish one more time I’m going to lose it

At this point it’s obvious that KI has a thing for german speaking countries related stuff

Sentinel Marshmallows, do I have to say more? 

Other Worlds

Grizzleheim - 8/10

Vikings

Forshadowing of Raven

It’s ok

Grendleweed

Wintertusk - 8/10

Even more Vikings

Grizzleheim 2.0, but everyone is op and crits

You need the spells, but you don’t want to do it

It’s been too long since I’ve last been there

Wysteria - 9/10

The original snob

At least these weren’t a pain to listen to...

Incompetent teachers make incompetent students.

That hall of fame though.

Actually a nice world to quest through

The aesthetic is nice and they kinda got the cooler library compared to Ravenwood, unless I’m missing out on something.

Fave Places To chill: The library

Aquila - 10/10

Birbs

Was a pain in Pirate, is wonderful in Wiz

SKY IRON HASTA

Secret bosses you seldom find people to fight with

Everyone is salty that you’ve beated them and they don’t even try to hide.

Hades got the best estate.

Cerberus was cute until he became a set of floating heads.

Fave Places To chill: Tartarus

Darkmoor - 9.5/10

“Who hits?” - “Everyone” - *person who asked decides to leave the dungeon*

This happened to me 7 times in a row an U G H

People need to calm down their hitter ego

The dungeons are fun the first times, then they are just an annoyance to farm.

Plot is the Ballad Lenore

GO TO REST MALI

Hit in 5 rounds or say bye bye to your blades

No Feints

Catacombs 11/10

D r a g o n s p y r e  L o r e

Valencia, what are you doin there?

Basically KI’s punch in the face of Pirate101 players

“Oh you want an update? Guess you gotta watch how we recycle Valencia in Wiz”

Dragoon gear - Just like Darkmoor, but this time your suffering has a certain end

Also no exp on your quests?

[baekwin]

content creator year in review

tagged by @wabisaba (kind of lol) 

first creation and most recent creation of 2020: i am not going to link my first one because it is Gross and i do not want to relive it, but it was a love shot set, i really was just throwing some random adjustment layers on there to see what happened and i had no idea what they did and that’s what i ended up with ahfdkjsdh. my most recent creation is an addition to the nct being whipped for winwin series, because really who isn’t a simp for him come on

one of your favorite creations from 2020: there is absolutely no rhyme or reason for me picking this bc it’s so random but i loved how the colors turned out, and they are bubs and i love them and they make me smile hehe

a creation you’re really proud of: gonna try to avoid ones that i linked in my top 5 post, so this one! it’s not my best work or anything by far, but it was the first time i figured out how to download smaller clips of really long videos and got the coloring to look soft and not too extreme. i’m also going to add this one bc it was the first time i tried making gifs of a live stage!! 

a new style you tried this year and a gifset that uses it: i’ve been wanting to try the sparkle trend for a while and i finally had a chance to in my secret santa present! it didn’t turn out exactly how i hoped in the 3rd and 4th gifs, but i think it turned out beautifully on the 1st one with the lights and especially the 2nd one with the snow 🥺

a creation that took you forever: i....cannot physically explain how long this set took me to color. it was a pain i wanted to cry and throw things omg. @exo-stentialism can attest that i kept picking it up and putting it down for like.....4 weeks maybe?? ooooomg i’m glad i finally got it done though

your creation from 2020 that received the most notes: exo in 2020! i’m really happy people liked it, because it’s one of my favorites too!

a creation you think deserved more notes: i know this already has a very good amount of notes relative to my average lmao but i really think it should have done better. leader bbh!!!

a new fandom you joined and a creation you made for it: the one and only new fandom i joined was nct because i stay sm trash :’) i think literally every single nct thing i’ve made has been of winwin ksdjhfaj here is one of him and kun bc winformation best show i will not be taking questions at this time

a creation you made that breaks your heart: breaks my heart can be interpreted in a lot of ways, but i guess i will interpret it this way - i made this set of pcy talking about space and the universe during one of the sechan idol league streams and it made me sad that he just stopped and was like ‘moving on’ like noooo i wanted to hear you talk about it more!!! just ramble it’s fine!!! i love his brain ;;

a ‘simple’ creation that you really love: hmm i guess this could be considered simple as far as gfx go because there really are only 3-4 additional textures on each panel besides the pics of sehun himself but idk i really liked it! 

a creation that was inspired by another one: errr this one was directly inspired by this tracklist post which i already linked in the description, but other than that i tend to be inspired by more generic things. maybe a font someone used in their graphic, or the way someone turned a bright red into deeper red etc, so i don’t have specific posts i saved for those

a favorite creation created by someone else: many, but this is the most recent one that comes to mine hello @yukbaeks ur so talented and this is literally so adorable that i melted!! and i love that you put the piano cover on it too, it adds so much 🥺

some of your favorite content creators from the year: OK GET READY (in no particular order) @sefuns @do-kyngsoo @yixing-zhang @dokyunqsoo @sehunlyone @delhyun @exo-stentialism @kaibility @ciaozhan @kaiternity @tipannies @j-pping @amaranth @captivatesme @yukbaeks @vivapolos @nctsworld @rveluvs @tten @xiaojun @waiyv @leemarkies @taeminnomuyeppeo @softxingdae @winle @johnnysuhs @mhirais @jungsungchans @dongsichengs @jsuh @johnni @wabisaba @orbitzones (i hope all these tags work lol) thank you all for blessing the world with your gifs/edits/words whatever it may be, i love following you all and i appreciate the time you take to make content for your fellow exo-ls/nctzens 💕 

and for good measure, another a couple more creations of yours that you love: my universe tracklist turned out just how i pictured it so i’m really happy with it! and here is a winwin one just bc of reasons.

tagging: anyone i mentioned in this post or anyone else that sees it and would like to do it! it’s been a hard year, so it would be rly nice to spread some more love around!! 

[curechocolattymilk]

I am in a sorta rambling Skyrim mood again so if you want lists of my mods i have/want to keep for Skyrim Extended Cut’s release/want to get for a fresh save under S:EC uhh here you go??

MOD LIST IN GENERAL/AS A WHOLE (might be a long one)

Immersive Citizens - AI Overhaul

USSEP

Alternate Start

Cutting Room Floor

The Paarthurnax Dilemma

Khajiit Speak (disabled atm, only on for a Khajiit character I plan on remaking)

Wet & Cold SE

Static Mesh Improvement Mod (SMIM)

BarenziahQuestMarkers SSE

Immersive Patrols SE

Apocalypse

Ordinator

Horns Are Forever SE

Wildcat

Inigo

DigitigradeKhajiit_ArgonianRaptor

Falskaar (disabled & prob gonna be uninstalled. Wasn’t satisfied w the mod so i went back to a save before installing it that wasn’t too far back)

Run For Your Lives

Enhanced Lights & FX

True Storms SE (+Compatibility patch for W&C)

Civil War Aftermath

Hearthfire Multiple Adoptions & Custom Home Support SE

Derkeethus Dual

New Beginnings- AS Extension

No More Stupid Dog

D13 Faster Get Up SSE

Amazing Follower Tweaks SE

DWC Player Werewolf Replacer

Diverse Werewolves Collection

Dominions More Argonians

Immersive Good Boy

Skyrim Sewers

Convenient Horses

Fast Travel Ambushes & Consequences

Interesting NPCS/3DNPC (& with it, Cyb’s Overhaul) SE  Patches/Hotfixes

BAT- Bigger Argonian Tails SE

BS: Bruma SE (and patches)

Vigilant SE + Voiced English Addon SE

Cinematic Dragon Soul Absorption (disabled)

Shout - Immersive & Dynamic Overhaul

SkyUI SE + Flashing Savegames Fix

Destructible Display Cases

Dragon Stalking Fix

TK Dodge SE

Immersive Movement

Hun Lovaas & the mod authors other music replacer mods

Hoth

More Tavern Idles

Ultimate Combat SE

Library of Paarthurnax SSE

Dawnguard as vampire (didn’t want to lose part of my sould for the DG quest lol, turned right back into a werewolf)

Real Bosses (Light File)

Immersive World Encounters SE

Better Jumping SE

Kaidan 2

Race Menu

Miraak DB Follower + Dialogue Plus

Monster race crash fix (for the Play as a Dragon mod)

Lucien Flavius

Racial Body Morphs SE - Diverse body types & height

CWN - Civil War Neutrality SSE

Alt Conversation Camera

Guard Dialogue Overhaul SE

Deadly Dragons

Werewolf Feral Run

Bigger Tails for Werewolves

Predators - Werewolf & Vampire role playing tool (Lite version currently disable)

3DNPC Talkative Followers

Masque of Argonian Vile SSE

Talkative Dragons + Enigma Series

My Little Hatchling SSE + Adoptable Argonian Hatchling

Play As a Dragon

Growl - Werebeasts of Skyrim (I definitely recommend this for werewolf playthroughs! It doesn’t have Moonlight Tales’ features but its still balanced/fun & barely buggy in my experience)

Death is Highly Overrated redone 2020

SKSE64

MODS IM FOR SURE KEEPING/MAYBE KEEPING

To keep the bulletpoint list hopefully short: Patch/QoL mods that fix vanilla issues (i.e. USSEP, D13, SMIM, the like), follower mods (save for Miraak since S:EC seems to have something planned for him), mods done to tweak the Werewolf experience, combat & boss difficulty mods, Mods that overhaul NPCs dialogue/AI (guards, citizens in general), weather mods, music mods, & mods that make Argonians & Khajiit look a bit more fun are for sure staying! Any civil war mods I have might be trimmed off, debating on how S:EC approaches reworking the secondary story quest. That being said:

BarenziahQM - For the sole fact it makes that quest soo much better

Paarthunax Dilemma - a solid maybe? S:EC is also gonna do something bout this part of the Blades quest if I read their reddit post correctly, so I might just leave it disabled & see what happens first

Hearthfire Multiple Adoptions - yes pls let me make Tei a papa to every Skyrim also I need it to make Kaidan’s home available for the kiddos

Derkeethus - makes him a more decent follower but eeeh idk i rarely take him out often so it might be snipped itsa maybe

Destructible Display Cases- sometimes i’m too lazy to lockpick

No more Stupid Dog/Immersive Good Boy- Meeko is a good boy I should be able to tell him & also my kids + housecarls shouldn’t call him stupid >:(

More Argonians- I just like these funky reptiles (used to have More Khajiits too but it always would CTD at a certain inn w it installed. F)

Alternate Start- Makes things more spicy

CH- Sorta QoL for the skyrim horses, for sure staying

FTA&C- Again, makes things more spicy, but in the event of some group jumping you while traveling

Vigilant- Maybe?? It’s fun as hell but not really in character for Jeer-Tei. Perhaps re-enabled later as an end game thing alongside BS: Atmora whenever that comes out?

Shout- makes cooldowns more bearable so itsa keep

DSF- also a QoL mod

Immersive Movement + More Tavern Idles + Better Jumping + Immersive Encounters

AFT- big traveling groups are always fun/it makes it easier to horde keep all of Skyrim’s dogs

Race Menu + Racial BM SE- falls under “makes Argonians more fun” like some other argonian focused mods I guess? RBM plays around w everyones height and RM just lets you go buck wild (in a sfw way! unless...yknow you got nsf/w mods i guess) doesn’t hurt to specify tho lol

Alternate Convo Camera- Really fun!! Despite it pointing out how short my LDB is

Deadly Dragons- Makes fighting the Dovah much more fun w all the (honestly not as canon) diversity in looks & abilities! Can recommend, not too harsh on older devices either from what I know

Death is Highly Overrated

Play as a Dragon + Monster Race Fix- another hard maybe because well...you turn into a dragon which isn’t too immersive I guess?? Probably another “end game” mod for Tei

MODS IM EYEING/WANT TO GET (this post is so long so far I’m sorry)

Survival Mods!! (iNeed is one I’m looking at & maaaybe Frostfall?? idk i’ll have to see about that one i heard its not too fun for the Argonian gang) P much looking for something that’ll make exploring the wilds of Skyrim less of a bore

Camping + Hunting based mods! I’ve been eyeing Campfire & Hunterborn specifically, but open to any other suggestions. Same reasoning as survival mods, makes it more fun to travel! Plus, I’m going for an in character experience, it would fit Tei!

Khash & Auri follower mods. I’ve been eyeing these two for a bit, but from my experience w adding Kaidan & Lucien late game, I miss a lot of fun stuff D: So I’m planning on nabbing them for a fresh playthrough under S:EC (or at least, Khash! I uh...don’t know how to download mods manually/always mess it up & Auri doesn’t have the option to let Vortex do all the work unfortunately, but we’ll see!)

Maybe some nice armor mods?? Again nothing too heavy to handle but just to add some flavor(tm)

Saw a mod that made Animal AI a bit more realistic, might nab that

long shot but a mod that lets everyone refer to your LDB via they/them pronouns would be cool too but idk feel like it’d be a nightmare to attempt modder wise. Honestly i’d love the idea of having a mod or two that’ll let me confirm that Tei is trans themselves in game (3DNPC has a quest where you can say your character is, but that’s about it to my knowledge)! Buuut I’m unsure to search for any cause: 1) I don’t want to deal w transphobes ruining my searches & my day on Nexus & 2) Any curious google/bing searches keep bringing up Lovers lab & mmmm no thank you.

and uh...so far that’s the base of it? idk im still looking around & I might have to add/drop some things depending on like...how much my current computer can handle, Not grabbing any fancy graphics mods, that’s for sure lol

[kuiinncedes]

guess who keeps writing random quinntina drabbles in completely unrelated aus and refusing to expand on any of them :D so yeah i wrote a shadowhunters!quinn and tina thing (that i actually might expand on bc i was working on a klaine shadowhunter thing and it’s not super different or anything ANYWAY) idk if i need to explain shit to make it easier to understand or anything but here’s some explanations :P

shadowhunters = demon killers born with angel blood, they draw runes on themselves to do things like heal or give extra agility, strength, etc. also shadowhunters usually have compound last names it’s a whole thing but i kept their last names anyway it doesn’t matter lmao

iratze = healing rune, when a shadowhunter uses one it heals them :P

parabatai = platonically bonded shadowhunters basically, and runes given to someone by their parabatai are sometimes more powerful

Behemoth demons = gross slimy demons with like a giant mouth or something and they’re really hard to kill bc they reform and stuff lol

witchlight = a stone that shadowhunters can use that lights up when they hold it

and i think that’s it, if anyone reads this lol and is confused about any of the shadowhunter aspects feel free to ask me about it :P

also kinda took some things from this prompt list that came across my dash - “you’re bleeding” and “There’s people chasing us and I pulled you into the alley with me and wow your close.” idk it doesn’t really stick to that tho

oh but yeah that means there’s description of blood and stuff not a lot at all and it’s not graphic or anything but yeah just fyi :3 

ANYWAY YEAH I KINDA REALLY LIKE THIS LDFJSLFJ maybe one day i’ll stop adding this random stuff at the beginning of the ficlets i post lol

---

“You’re bleeding.”

“News flash, Fabray, we’re Shadowhunters. It happens.” Tina rolls her eyes, then returns to scanning the surroundings for the Croucher demons that just disappeared. “I can’t believe I got stuck on a patrol with you,” she grumbles.

Quinn scoffs. “I’m not too happy about it either, hon.” She rubs her forearm, bare to the chill of the night air, and examines the wound on Tina’s leg, as best as she can given the distance between them. The blood has already soaked through her gear, the material itself slashed viciously halfway up her thigh. “Let me give you an iratze, at least. It looks bad,” she says, trying to keep the biting in her tone to a minimum. It’s hard, though, around Tina. She thinks she at least succeeds at not sounding like she’s actually going to kill Tina if she gets close.

Tina looks at her with an indecipherable expression, somehow different than the contempt and anger that she usually directs at Quinn. “It’s fine, we don’t have time for that. Mercedes can do it when we get back.” Tina seems to swallow, then looks away. “You know, being my parabatai, it’ll be a lot better than anything you could do.” The insult doesn’t carry half the heat of anything Tina usually says to her, which confuses Quinn. But she doesn’t have time to think on it when Tina’s eyes widen at some point behind her and Quinn whirls around with her seraph blade to meet the dark face of a demon, Tina coming up beside her, stabbing one demon and effectively causing another to vanish with a perfectly-thrown dagger.

Try as she might, Quinn can’t ignore just how insanely good of a Shadowhunter Tina Cohen-Chang is. And it annoys the fuck out of her.

Together they easily kill the demons in the group -- Croucher demons are not the brightest by far -- and Tina is retrieving a dagger from the ground when Quinn sees them. 

Three Behemoth demons, moving sluggishly, and not towards them, but they are going to have to take care of them. 

“What the fuck are Behemoth demons doing in a group…?” Quinn mumbles. They need help for this; no matter how exceptional of a Shadowhunter Tina is, and although Quinn is far from bad herself, two Shadowhunters can’t take on three Behemoth demons. 

“Fuck,” Tina whispers, coming up beside Quinn again. She can’t help but notice how Tina’s dark hair has fallen out of her bun a little, messy strands surrounding her face but of course she still looks so good --

“How do you feel about Behemoths, Fabray?” Tina says quietly, her tone challenging. They’re still just watching the demons, who haven’t done anything yet and have given no indication that they’ve noticed the two Shadowhunters.

Quinn scowls, “Hate them.” Which is an understatement. She and Kurt had a terrible experience with one a few years ago and she prefers not to think about it.

Tina nods. “Same.”

Of course, one of the demons finally turns their way and spots them. “Fuck, we gotta run,” Quinn hisses. She can already see that the demons are dispersing their slimy, disgusting bodies -- she really doesn’t like Behemoths -- to reform somewhere else, no doubt somewhere significantly closer to where they’re standing --

Or behind them. Quinn is yanked sideways by Tina and they sprint down a small road, dark but for the dim street lights reflecting off the wet asphalt.

It doesn’t take long for Quinn to notice something is wrong. She hasn’t patrolled with Tina before, but she’s trained with her, she knows Tina is somewhat faster than her. So why isn’t Tina way ahead of her right now… 

Quinn spares a glance over and right, her leg. Before Quinn can think about it, she’s pulling Tina into a small alley off the side of the road. 

“Shit,” Tina breathes, clenching her jaw and leaning against the wall in this really very narrow alley, they barely have enough space for the two of them, each against one of the walls -- 

Quinn looks at the wound on Tina’s thigh and hisses, “You idiot. You should’ve let me put a damn iratze on you, or you should’ve done it yourself, Angel’s sake -- ”

A Behemoth slides past, dispersing and quickly reforming further up the alley. The other two follow close behind. Quinn presses herself into the shadows of the alley, lessens her breath and tries to force her heart to stop pounding so loudly. She doesn’t think Behemoths have a sense of smell, she’s never learned that, but if they do, she and Tina are screwed and she will need to have a little chat with her demons instructor Will Schuester because this would not be a good time to find that out.

The demons pass. Quinn lets out a slow breath. 

“Lost my stele.” Tina’s breath is coming in shallow gasps; Quinn can tell she’s trying to minimize the sound. The gash on her thigh is way deeper and longer than Quinn realized. It’s hard to see anything with the lack of light in the alley and lack of contrast between Tina’s blood on her skin and the black gear she’s wearing.

“Fuck, do you have a witchlight?” Quinn asks. 

“No.” Tina’s muscles are tight and her body is wound. “It doesn’t matter right now. Call the Institute, we need someone to get rid of those Behemoths.”

Quinn wants to argue, wants to ask Tina if she’s seen her leg, but Tina’s right, infuriatingly. She quickly presses the number for her parabatai on her phone while Tina closes her eyes, resting her head against the brick wall, seemingly trying to calm her breathing.

“Quinn!” Kurt exclaims when he picks up. “What happened? Mercedes said she felt something happen to Tina and you guys have been out longer than you’re supposed to -- ”

“We’re fine,” Quinn interrupts. “Tina’s mostly fine, just a nice cut from a Croucher. We ran into some Behemoths though, need someone to take care of them.”

Kurt groans. “Of course you guys ran into Behemoths.” There’s some faint talking in the background -- Quinn can make out Mercedes demanding to know where her parabatai is, some other voices chime in that she can’t recognize. “Okay, luckily Mike’s here and he can go try to magic them away or whatever he does. Beiste is going with him. Mercedes and I will meet up with you and Tina. Send me your guys’ patrol location.”

“Don’t you know it?”

“Yes, but send it to me anyway,” Kurt says, exasperated, but Quinn can tell he doesn’t really mean it. “Okay? Be careful.”

“Always am.” She ends the call and shoves her phone back into her pocket. Then she remembers Tina, who’s sitting against the wall, legs stretched out in front of her and looking exhausted. 

“Here,” she says, finding her stele and holding it out to her. Tina gives her a half-smile and accepts it. She rolls up her jacket sleeve to draw the rune on her forearm, flowing black lines of the iratze stark against her skin in the dim light. 

“Kurt and Mercedes are coming,” Quinn says. “And Mike and Beiste for the demons.”

“Good, saves me from more time with you,” Tina mumbles halfheartedly.

Quinn rolls her eyes. “Let me help,” she says, kneeling down and reaching for her stele. “It will work better closer to the heart -- ”

“I’m fine,” Tina says hurriedly, leaning away from Quinn slightly. Quinn ignores the slight disappointment she feels at that and exclaims, “Are you serious? Your leg is still pouring blood, you can see that, right?”

Tina swallows. “I don’t want you that close to me.” Her voice is resigned, quiet and Quinn can barely hear her.

“Again, are you serious? What the fuck did I ever do to you?” Quinn knows she shouldn’t be getting angry, especially when they don’t know how far the demons are and they could hear her raised voice -- can Behemoth demons hear? Mr. Schue really didn’t do a great job in their demon education -- and come back to finish them off.

“Quinn, just… just don’t.” Tina rolls her stele back towards her. “Thanks for the stele.”

“No, I want to know! I want to know what the fuck I did to make you treat me like this, because I sure didn’t ask for it.” Quinn is seething now, unable to stop even if she tried. “When we were kids you were okay, but ever since the Shadowhunter Academy you’ve been such an asshole to me, and now you can’t even let me near you to help you, to put a fucking iratze on you -- ”

“I have feelings for you!” Tina yells, effectively shutting Quinn up. Quinn looks down at her in surprise. 

“What -- ?”

Tina puts her head in her hands, running them through her hair and pulling out her bun, her shining black hair spilling across her shoulders. “I… can’t let you near me because… I’m scared,” she says softly to her boots. “I’m scared of what my feelings mean when you get close to me and I want to kiss you so fucking badly... I want to be with you. I -- I realized that at the Shadowhunter Academy when I saw other girls kiss each other and I just,” she shakes her head. “I realized I want to do that with you. And I know there’s no chance for that, I get it. But that’s why I’ve been... mean.”

Quinn stares at Tina, jaw dropped open. Tina meets her gaze for a moment, then averts her eyes and smirks slightly, sadly. “It’s fine, Fabray. I’ll stop being an asshole and you don’t have to talk to me again. Except, you know, when Kurt and Mercedes want us all to hang out, but I’ll stay away.”

Quinn wants to say something -- wants to say no, I don’t want that, when the alley floods with light and she turns to see Kurt and Mercedes, the light coming from a witchlight stone in Kurt’s hand. 

“You know,” he says, smiling, “you could’ve come out after the demons left, would’ve made it easier for us to find you.”

-

Quinn makes her way through the unfamiliar halls of the Columbus Institute. She has a vague sense of where she’s going but she doesn’t live at the Institute so she’s still a little disoriented. But she mostly tries to follow the sound of voices and sure enough, it leads her to the library, where Mercedes and Tina are huddled together over a book, talking and laughing with each other. She watches them, quietly, awkwardly, for a second, then Tina turns and spots her, smile faltering a little.

“Hey, Quinn,” she says softly. Mercedes turns too and waves at her.

“Hey, guys,” Quinn says. She swallows. “Um, could I talk to Tina for a second?” Mercedes shoots Tina a look. She nods back and Mercedes pats her hand and leaves the library, and now Quinn and Tina are alone.

“How’s your leg?” Quinn asks, deciding to stall.

Tina smiles a little, walks up to her. Her hair is in braids today. “Good as new. Tends to be the case after a few iratzes.”

Quinn nods. “Good.”

A moment passes, then Tina exhales and says, “Look, Quinn… I’m really sorry about what I said in the alley. I… can’t say I didn’t mean it, but I promise I won’t act like anything’s different, okay? We don’t even have to talk about it -- ”

“I want to talk about it.”

Tina stops. “You do?”

Quinn runs a hand through her hair. “You meant what you said?”

A slow nod from Tina, and a deep breath from Quinn.

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Quinn says, gaze fixed on the floor between their feet. “I think I feel the same.”

“… what?” 

“I want to kiss you. If you’ll let me.”

At some point, they’ve gotten closer, and now Quinn stands right in front of Tina, their faces almost touching. She barely has to move to press her lips to Tina’s. Tina inhales sharply, but then relaxes and her hands flutter up to lightly cup Quinn’s face as Quinn pulls her closer.

They pull away and Tina laughs slightly, breathlessly.

“Does this mean you still hate me?” Tina asks, her dark eyes sparkling, pupils dilated. Their breaths mingle in the lack of space between them.

“Of course,” Quinn murmurs. “Do you?”

“Why would I like you?” Tina tries to say, grinning, but she’s cut off by Quinn’s next kiss. 

And another, and another.

[soldfear-gone]

Get To Know The Writer!

———  BASICS! ♡

(PEN)NAME: FLOWER!  PRONOUNS: she / her but also okay with they / them !!  ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio uh oh TAKEN OR SINGLE: Single!

———  THREE  FACTS! ♡

Heyooo !! I love making graphics ?? Graphics are legit my favorite part of starting up a blog because I feel like you can convey what type of character or vibe you have going from your look alone. Aesthetics aren’t everything, I totally agree with that !! But for me personally, when I’m starting up a blog, I love to try and go out as much as I can because I just have fun doing it !!

I’m actually really afraid of most horror stuff ?? Scary movies are pretty hard for me to watch at times, it usually takes a friend convincing me to watch it. That being said, my fave scary movie ( if you want to count it as that ?? ) is Midsommar and the IT series. I absolutely LOVE Midsommar. 

Talking about yourself is really hard UUUUHH. . . I love swimming ?? I was taught to swim at about 2 years old and have always just felt more at peace within the water. That being said, I have really bad balance and cannot ride a skateboard or skate in general to save my life even though I really wish I could.

———  EXPERIENCE! ♡

I was introduced to RP on Twitter actually around 2014-2015 !! I came across a lot of fan accounts back then for Free! and soon I came across RP accounts. Though, they were all mainly crack focused rather than serious. That’s when I realized that I wanted to write something a bit more serious and began branching out a bit more into a different character. I did that for a while until a friend I met on Twitter suggested trying out Tumblr in 2016 and I’ve been here ever since !! If you’ve been following me since then, you’ll probably remember my very first account which was Yuuri from Yuri on Ice !! From there, I spent a lot of time on Nagisa from Free and then blog hopped a lot haha. Now I’m here !!

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE! ♡

Mainly male muses and muses I cannot RP for the life of me. LMAO listen, theres a lot of muses I LOVE but I feel terrible writing for because I feel like I cannot pin their character down which gives me a difficult time. I think thats why in the end I always end up coming back to my OC’s since they’re y’know,,, mine ?? I think the muses I’ve had the most fun rping though is definitely Nagisa from back in the day, Curly since he’s just such an oddball and Lupin. I guess I like going for muses that really present themselves one way but have a lot of stuff going on in the back.

———  FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT! ♡    

FLUFF: YEAH BABY !! I don’t think I’ve written anything fluffy in a while, but when it presents itself, I grip it tightly and enjoy it all that I can.

ANGST: YEAH !! I’m a firm believer in that when angst arises between characters, it really helps either strengthen their relationship or bring up new problems that they can figure out together. Of course, angst is a lot of fun since it helps throw your characters into new situations and figure out hmmm how is this going to work. Idk I mean when discussed properly and with a good writing partner it all works out.

SMUT: It’s been years since I’ve written smut LMAO. So, honestly ?? I like writing smut, but only with the right writer and muse. If I just don’t feel comfortable with you as a writer, I won’t want to write smut with you. In turn, muses have to present a level of understanding and chemistry before I just start throwing them into sexual situations and whatnot. It’s kinda bleh when it’s like,,, writing smut to write smut ?? It’s a lot more fun when you’re writing it cause you know your characters care for each other and its not just some,,, idk. one off thing ?? Maybe I feel that way because I accidentally like had a lot of ships back in the day that had little to no chem, but yeah. Either way, I haven’t written smut in forever lMAO.

PLOT / MEMES: I love plotting okay? Like anytime you want to plot, just hmu I love throwing ideas back and forth all the time. As for memes, I love hoarding them. It’ll take me weeks to reply or I’ll do it immediately, but just know that I appreciate every meme sent to me !! Also, its a great way to start random threads !!

tagged: hehehehe i stole it again !!

tagging: steal it baby

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 501

We’re back again for another season of men never having to demonstrate any personal growth on screen because the writers don’t feel like that’s important to show and instead force the audience to just forget everything that previously happened because look! The characters, who aren’t real and are just what we write them to be, are all cool now so why aren’t you? #BadFans

As a standalone episode/series premiere of a new show, this episode was really good! I enjoyed it a lot, with some obvious exceptions. As the season five premiere of a show with a long history? What the actual fuck, why do you keep doing this, writers?

In season one, Jamie beats Claire, never actually apologizes for it, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season two, Jamie takes his pants off with some prostitutes while his pregnant wife is at home, blames it on his “mission,” and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season three, Jamie is an asshole and a half to Claire when she gives up literally everything (including their daughter) to come find him and knowingly marries the woman who tried to have Claire killed because of one dance with random children at a holiday party, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

In season four, Roger is a rancid garbage heap to Bree all season and is only begrudgingly down to stay with her as if *he’s* the one who’s been wronged by her, and Jamie literally sends a guy into what he thinks is like certain death/slavery without getting any real information, and we’re expected to be like oh lol it’s cool now. No worries.

So watching this premiere, I was not at all shocked that there was a convenient time jump where everything was so handily worked out off screen and we’re all super cool now, and Jamie thinking Roger isn’t good enough for Bree is played for a joke instead of being THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH. #BreeDeservesBetter

Anywho, onward under the cut because I’m back on my drunken bullshit.

Ooo, a rape warning before the episode, starting off very on brand for you I see, show.

Fuck them very much, again, for including that very unnecessary story line in the first place.

I miss Scotland, y’all. Also, young Murtz can get ittt.

So can old Murtz.

#TeamMurtz

This bit though with wee Jamie made me feel feelings. Jamie and Murtagh’s relationship is literally one of my favorite parts of this whole damn show and saving Murtagh was the best adaptive choice these fuckwads made.

Unpopular opinion alert, but I actually really like the new credits music. I will always like season one’s the best, but this one is up there.

Also, am I a giant weirdo for being happy that even though they change stuff in the credits all the time, they keep in the shot of Claire’s legs running from the pilot? Idk why, but I’m like sentimentally attached to that shot.

Also, that is a fucking microscope I see in the credits, are we gettING SCIENCE!JIZZ?!??!?!?!

SCIENCE!JIZZ! SCIENCE!JIZZ! SCIENCE!JIZZ!

“Careful, or ye’ll lose yer head.” And we’d all be definitely super sad if that happened. Yep, can’t have that. #TeamCutthroatRazor

Jamie threateningly shaving and insulting Roger is the fandom minus the stans who for some inconceivable reason still like that fucker.

Seriously, fuck Roger. Jamie is apparently the only one who hasn’t gotten amnesia about how terrible he is. I guess it’s because Jamie has been really fucking terrible many times and like recognizes like.

I fucking love that Murtz made Bree’s ring. Makes it more meaningful than the random trinket Roger picks up at the Gathering Without End in the book. Like Claire’s Lallybroch key ring was more meaningful than the book!ring. Fuck the show for ditching the Lallybroch key ring because tHe BoOk RiNg Is WhAt FaNs LiKe. No. Stop. Bad choice.

The aerial shot going over the big house makes me hopeful that this season won’t be as fucking claustrophobic as last year. Because seriously, we can all tell you’re still in Scotland. Doing a whole season in basically closeups doesn’t make it seem any more North Carolina-y.

CLAIRE MAKING BREE’S DRESS AND GETTING TO BE THERE FOR HER DAUGHTER’S WEDDING WHEN SHE DIDN’T THINK SHE’D BE ABLE TO GIVES ME ALL THE FEELINGS! CLAIRE DESERVES ALL THE GOOD THINGS! I JUST LOVE CLAIRE A LOT OK! SORRY NOT AT ALL EVER FUCKING SORRY! #BeauchampBrigade5Eva

Bree’s dress is fucking gorgeous. I lowkey like it better than Claire’s.

Da!Jamie on his something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue quest is fucking adorable. He also never thought he’d get to see this one of his kids’ wedding so yay for him too.

“And we’re giving her away to a man who loves her.” “Oh.” “What? You doubt his love?” “Um, I’m sorry, did you SEE all last season?! Did everyone else get amnesia?!”

Also, bullshit about Roger being terrible aside, this right here, with Jamie and Claire actually talking to each other in an adorable and snuggly way. Like being all close and cuddly and shit. THIS IS MY SHIT. When we all bitch about wanting more Jamie and Claire couple stuff and the writers are all like “but the sex doesn’t advance the story” it’s like no you fuckwits, we don’t always mean sex! Sometimes we mean sex, because sex is important in their relationship (and sex does not necessarily equal nudity), but most of the time we mean SHOW US THAT THESE PEOPLE LOVE EACH OTHER WITH THE SMALL CUTE STUFF LIKE THIS! I’m *rull* curious to see how much more of stuff like this we get this season now that Balfe and Heughan are producers. Balfe especially, considering how dirty they did Claire last season...

DA!JAMIE AND ANOTHER OF HIS KIDDOS! Da!Jamie being sappy and sentimental at his kids’ weddings is 100% my jam.

HIS FACE WHEN BREE SAYS JE SUIS PREST MAKES ME FEEL ALL THE FEELINGSSS.

MOM AND DAD ARE AT THEIR LIL GIRL’S WEDDING AND MY SKIN IS CLEAR AND MY CROPS ARE THRIVING. Except that one weed over there in the groom’s place that just won’t go away.

I am so fucking glad they did away with the Gathering Without End. I swear to fuck 17% of a book that’s just like camping and periods and breast milk is aggressively not my jam.

Unfortunately the groom being a douchenozzle is not a legal reason to object to a wedding. But it really should be.

Fersali being all snuggly and cute during the vows is fucking precious. I love Fersali. Protect Fersali at all costs.

I’m ok with playing Jamie and Claire’s music over Bree and Roger’s wedding because like, this is the culmination of all the shit that Jamie and Claire went through together and I’m all for making stuff just about them, haha. But otherwise, weird choice to not give Bree and Roger their own theme?

Also, I get that it’s a better choice to have a character we already know and have established stakes with be here to do the red coat stuff, but loool at the thought of the fucking governor coming to this random backcountry wedding. Tryon, buddy, I get that Murtz is your white whale, but you look obsessed in a bad way, bruh.

GERMAIN!!! I FUCKING LOVE GERMAIN! I FUCKING LOVE THAT JAMIE TALKS SHIT ABOUT PRESBYTERIANS TO GERMAIN! GIVE ME ALL THE SASSY SMOLS!

“Some of us like to think before we act.” Oh fuck all the way off, Roger. ALL THE WAY OFF.

“There was me thinking that you were just trying to shut me up for a minute.” I mean, that was an added bonus, Rog.

Sophie has really gotten so much better at acting. She’s always such a goddamn delight on press tours and I’m like *rull* glad to see her growing into the role.

Lizzo/Flute Lady from the Wedding Band 2020

I 100% wanna chill with JQM and Fersali. This squad of cool kids seems aggressively more fun than the dancers.

Oh Isiah Morton. If only you could keep it in your pants.

I LOVE FERGUS WITH MY WHOLE HEART.

I LOVE MARSALI POSSIBLY EVEN MORE.

GODDAMN IT I JUST LOVE FERSALI SO FUCKING HARD.

Seriously, the sass and theatricality and sarcasm of Marsali Fraser. I stan. I fucking stan.

Also I 100% kept reciting “To sit in solemn silence...” through that whole scene. Once a theater kid, always a theater kid.

Don’t be a buzzkill, LJG. I love that posh nerd. Except when he’s being a fucking creeper about Jamie to Claire.

“Mistress, can I dance with the guy I thought raped you because he was such a twatwaffle?” “Sure, Lizzie, go for it! Because we’re all friends now.”

We’re just leaning in on the dad stuff this episode. The hot dads of Riverdale should form a gang with the hot dads of the Ridge just for kicks.

Obligatory fuck the writers for including Bree’s rape. Since they did though, good on them for showing her PTSD. Although fuck them for including such a graphic flashback. Much like the choices they made in the season one finale, it centers the rapist and the act more than the survivor.

Can this please be the only Fred reference this season? Also love to lightly joke about an emotionally abusive asshole who treated Claire like shit and used Bree as a weapon against her. Claire, being the bigger person she’s always been, will obvs not speak ill of Fred to Bree (unlike how Freddy boy undermined Claire in front of Bree), but Bree is now aware of just how shitty Fred was. Even if he wasn’t overtly shitty to her, her still being all lovey about him, knowing what he did to her mother, is lowkey super fucked up. “Well I know he was shitty to other people, but he never did anything to me” is never a good look.

Bree hugging Jemmy, oh man, I just wanna give her a hug and tell her everything’s gonna be ok.

Jocasta is still trash (there’s no such thing as a benevolent slave owner) but this Murcasta scene is a goddamn delight.

OK BUT NOW I NEED FAN ART OF MURTZ AS A FAIRY KING!

Roger singing to Bree is cute and all, but then using the music for the whole montage is cheesy af and I don’t think I like it.

Is that Arch and Murdina I spy there in the crowd?

Marsali is literally the most fertile woman in the Colonies.

Grannie and Granda trying to get it on veryyy quietly so they don’t wake Jemmy is fucking adorable as shit and I lowkey love it.

Awww, poor LJG. I ship Lord John with someone who actually loves him.

Ok I get Murcasta having to break up because of his regulator stuff, randomly introducing Duncan Innes is a fucking weird choice.

Maria Doyle Kennedy really was the fucking perfect casting choice.

Oh hey, Josiah Beardsley. I was hoping they’d cut out the whole thing with the Beardsleys and Lizzie, but honestly, I’ll take that silliness over Emo!Roger any day.

Good on Jocasta for being a clever MacKenzie, but fuck Roger for only doing the right thing when he’s insulted into it. TL;DR: Fuck Roger.

Is Gerald Forbes going to randomly turn into Neil Forbes at some point like he does in the book?

DOCTOR CLAIRE FOR THE WIN GIVE ME ALL THE DOCTOR CLAIRE.

Srsly, I am here for Jamie shitting on Roger at literally every opportunity. Preach, Jamie. Preach.

“I’ll leave you to yer patients. And to wage war with your wee invisible beasties.” Seriously though, this is my jam. This playful banter. For so much of the series, it’s been like do these two even like each other? Because the writers kept trying to make the show into something it wasn’t. Politics, war, characterization flipflops and assholery FoR tHe DrAmA. It was so hard to see why Claire would ever pick this guy. I’m very cautiously optimistic that more shit like this will be peppered in this year because dammit, this is why we’re all fucking here.

“Then ye must find yerself a lieutenant.” Can it be Marsali? Please? Can Marsali be Claire’s lieutenant?! Because cutting the whole Malva bullshit would be ideal. And Fersali gets so sidelined in the later books that I’d fucking LOVE the writers to make changes so they can be more centered with the rest of the fam. And I am fucking obsessed with Claire and Marsali’s relationship. Marsali is the most Claire Jr. character in this whole damn show and I WANT THEM TOGETHER IN FRONT OF MY EYEBALLS.

Roger pricks his index finger but smudges the blood on Jemmy’s head with his thumb. Not the takeaway of this scene at all. But since I don’t like Roger, that’s my bullet for it.

Also I love that they switched the whole raise a militia thing to a hunt for Murtz & Squad rather than needing to do it because some randos are somewhere doing a thing and then lol jk they left so you can all go home like it is in the book.

Totally called it that they were going to combine the two bonfires and that this was when the kilt was gonna make its triumphant return.

Also I fucking love that it’s the music from Je Suis Prest during the scene when Jamie puts his kilt back on.

And thank fuck they didn’t put any dialogue/voiceover in this scene when Claire sees Jamie. It’s so much more powerful without it.

Aaand we’re burning a cross. At least they were smart enough not to burn a Roman cross, but they’re still burning a cross instead of just doing a bonfire. The scene could be just as powerful had it been adapted to not have a burning cross. Fuck them, tbh.

Remember that time that fuckwit Roberts tried to be like oh we’re not *really* burning a cross so we’re not racist but we’re not gonna address it directly because lol out fanbase is fucking wicked conservative and also a fucking cult who will yell at us for changing anything.

Because seriously that twatwaffle really tried to pretend like a celtic cross isn’t a religious symbol so they’re not having a KKK rally in this white supremacist hellscape. FUCK THAT GUY FOR BOTH HIS SHITTY DECISIONS AND ALSO FOR ACTING LIKE WE’RE ALL FUCKING IDIOTS.

BuT hIsToRy AnD tHe BoOk! Fuck that. Do. Not. Burn. Crosses. But they showed a lynching last year for the sole purpose of showing the shocked white people, so of course they fucking burned a cross.

Jamie being both himself and Colum from the Gathering in season one at the same time is a fucking sight to see.

The look on Knox’s face is *chef’s kiss*. Bruh you don’t even *know* who you’re dealing with.

Aaand in a move that is not at all shocking, Roger hesitates *again*, when Jamie extends his hand to him. Fuck, and I cannot stress this enough, that guy. I get that he’s untrained and scared or whatever, but buddy you deal with that shit tomorrow. You don’t fucking leave Jamie hanging when he’s doing this big theatrical thing in an effort to fucking save his land and tenants. Ugh.

FERGUS, SON OF HIS NAME AND HIS HEART! Jamie and Claire’s first kid getting the props he fucking deserves. ILY SO MUCH FERGS!

Marsali’s face when Fergus goes to give his oath. Just the pride and love there. I JUST LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH OK.

I appreciate the commitment to the shitty green screen of that titular Ridge, haha.

That is a *rull* phallic rock in your circle, Murtz.

BUT...ALWAYS TAKE A MURTAGH! *cries*

This is a real gut punch of a scene, tbh. It’s 100% the right thing to do, but damn, right in the fucking feels.

This episode, with my selective amnesia activated per the above lol, has me more hopeful for how a season might be than I’ve been in a while. But this feeling has consistently been crushed in the past. Here’s to hoping the show finally stops doing us dirty!

[watch-grok-brainrot]

it's the 28th!! there is not much time left of the year, is there? i'm gonna send you a couple more asks than usually probably, just for the sake of it. to get out things like this before the reveal where i'm gonna get back into being a shy introvert idiot!! so i've been playing my new game, ghost of tsushima, and it's!!!! good lord, the graphic of the game is stunning (for the most part, the horses look a bit weird sometimes but still cute) and the main character is such an interesting character? basically jin sakai is a samurai, the opening scene is a battle where almost eighty-or so samurai die. his uncle, lord shimura, who raised and trained, him is captured by the mongol leader kotun kahn. jin gets saved by a thief called yuna, she rescues him after the battle when she looks for things to steal from the dead bodies. when jin wakes up he basically gets his armor back with yuna, she sold it to a merchant in order to buy medecine, he goes straight to the castle where they keep his uncle. as you would expect, he doesn't succeed. instead he gets thrown off a bridge, it's fucking high and even jin doesn't know how he survived that fall. (we also get some flashbacks every now and then, apparently his father was killed protecting his people and jin blames himself because he was a coward who was too afraid to fight (he was a fucking kid and i-). so the game goes on and we help jin fight against the mongols and free the people of tsushima, he makes allies for when he takes back (his uncle's castle i believe?) the castle where his uncle is being held. which i already did by now, so the next step is getting back this other castle, (jin's castle? or his uncle's? it's from one of them) the description says that "whoever reigns the castles reigns the island," so this is kinda bad. 50% of the time i'm really just trying to figure out the fighting system with jin's hidden weapons (ajksks it's a bit complicated but i think i've got it?) and idk questioning what honor means. that's a big topic of the game. at the beginning of the game we get a flashback, his uncle asks jin what honor means. he replies with "his father's words," so his uncle asks again. jin's reply is "protecting people i guess, those that cannot defend themselves." but then later the game tells us that the things he does is not deemed honorable, which is probably a cultural thing? he attacks from the shadows if necessary, if it means saving the lives of the people he wants to protect, to take back his homeland. but his uncle teaches him that only cowards strike from the shadow, that's it's dishonorable and not something samurais do (which is probably correct idk). so yeah maybe this game is making me questioning what i think honor is and to what extent honor is worth someone's life. if it means tossing honor and tradition aside and instead saving a life, isn't that worth it? isn't that the most honorable thing you can do, putting your pride aside and saving a life? it kind of reminds me of red dead redemption 2, where arthur keeps questioning what morality means, what loyalty is. they're outlaws, they kill people but their motto is "we shoot people who need shooting, we feed people who need feeding." and "vengeance is an idiot's game". rdr2 is about a found family falling apart, realizing that maybe they don't fit together. about morality, loyalty, love, righteousness, forgiveness and the consequences of one's actions. gots is about a lot of these things too, so maybe that's why i'm so fascinated with these games.

i know i'm rambling and you probably don't care but.... i don't often get to ramble about this so please, bear with me. when i say rdr2 is about these topics, then i mean that arthur goes through a lot of bullshit. the game keeps telling us, even at the beginning, that arthur is a very mentally unstable person who has a lot of issues, his anger being one of them. we know that arthur acknowledges that because he talks to one of the girls in their gang, i think it was either mary beth or tilly, that (when you go around and kill people) he feels like he's going crazy. he's questioning why he keeps letting his rage take the better of him. lets just say this boy has some serious issues. (not saying he has almost zero self esteem but maybe i am saying that) the closer to the epilogue you come, the more you see arthur questioning himself, his life, his family. arthur is not a good man, he knows that, but he's not a bad one either. he's just trying to survive in the world that he was thrown into when he was barely a teenager. the only life he has known is being an outlaw but he realizes that he cannot continue this path, it's not possible anymore. his gang his being hunted from every side, the only way out is going north and he knows they're being expected to go there. dutch van der linde is basically his dad, together with hosea, and arthur is his obedient watch dog and errand boy. until he isn't. arthur does a major development throughout the game, from not doubting the man who raised him to openly standing against him even at the cost of his own life. arthur is.... it's hard to explain because there are so many little moments where he grows and questions himself, his worldview and who he should put his trust into. bluntly said, arthur gets sick at pretty much the start of the game, we just don't know it and neither does he. but when he knows, the little changes he has over the course of the game get bigger and more apparent. he's running out of time, he has been since a few months and it helps him realize what he wants. helping people, it makes him happy even if he doesn't want to admit that, so that's what he does. righting, or at least trying, his wrongs even if he knows that people won't forgive him. that maybe he doesn't deserve to be forgiven, it's still better knowing that he tried to make up for his past actions even if it's too late. arthur is.... he's doing the right thing by the end, well if you go with the good-arthur version if you go with the bad-arthur he is still kind of better than his past self. to summarize it a bit, dutch goes kinda crazy. micah (another gang member) spies for the agents hunting them at one point and manipulates dutch, making him even more greedy and angry and the man really lost his mind after hosea got killed. dutch has always been the one more questionable out of the two of them, but he had a codex he followed. he forsakes this codex even if he doesn't realize it. he keeps on killing and killing and killing, dragging innocent people into this and putting his own men in danger. arthur snaps, realizes that maybe dutch isn't the person he thought he was. i'm really dragging this out aren't i? arthur and john, his brother in all but blood, together with john's kinda-wife abigail, their son jack, sadie and a couple of other gang members flee at the end of the story. because they realize that this is not a life they want, that dutch has changed since they first met him and that he's not the man they used to know. and it's really hard to explain but arthur's ending hurts. it hurts so much but it's the exact moment the game built up to, his death.

this is part 1/2. will answer on pt 2.