#it was kind of traumatizing tbh
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I think the reason people believe chuuya would be the more open and affectionate in soukoku (as like. A romantic relationship) is because they believe him to be the mentally stable one and i think the reason people seem to believe he’s one of the few “mentally stable” characters in bsd is because he does not let himself be seen as vulnerable, and the few times we do see him go through something genuinely horrible and having a moment of vulnerability he does not really have the time to truly process it and ends up “moving on” pretty quickly (for example when he was at the flags’ funeral and adam interrupted him, or how when the sheep betrayed him dazai was immediately at his side trying to convince him to join the pm). And even if he does process it and thinks “man that was pretty fucked up wasnt it” it is never shown on screen so i feel like a lot of viewers end up seeing it as him not being bothered by these events and just a pretty chill dude that doesnt wallow in grief or self pity. But i think him never wallowing in grief or self pity is kind of a problem because in the end all he is doing is suppressing all that trauma and not really trying to acknowledge it, but at the same time when he does he ends up pinning the blame on himself (how the sheeps betrayal was his fault, the flags dying because of him). I feel like this impacts how affectionate he is too because he has built up so many walls that at the point when the flags make a party to celebrate the one year anniversary of him joining the pm he gets suspicious, then surprised and then flustered and tries acting like he doesnt care about it. All this is to say that i think him believing he cant show weakness and has to maintain the facade of being “the strongest” makes him seem like some regular degular guy (if he’s not fighting dragons) ends up him getting viewed as some mentally stable, communicative guy with maaaybe just a bit of anger issues when in reality he got so embarrassed by dazai’s corny speech in mersault that he shot him in the head with a gun
#im sorry for rambling#this is such a jarbled mess but i had to get it off my chest#im not good at putting my thoughts into words#this isnt to say that i think dazai is any better#but if i had to choose… id say dazai would be the one giving love confession speeches#chuuya would get flustered and call that gay and dazai would opt out saying ‘ya thats pretty gay idk why i said that lmao’#i also think chuuya not having eccenticities or Traumatic Flashback Moments impacts this as well tbh#like yeah hes a minor character and it would also be silly of him to have Traumatic Flashabck Moments#during the Traumatic Moments (strombringer)#but him not having any eccentricities like dazais constant talks of suicide#or kyoukas and akutagawas uhh… oddly intense personalities? how the hell would you describe it?#or kaijis. well. mad scientist shtick#i feel like it makes him seem less traumatised by the events if that makes sense#sure hes kind of aggressive… but he’s usually mad at dazai so the whole ‘anger issues’ thing seems like just a chuuya thing with dazai#rather than a sort of defense mechanism#is anything im saying making any sense#i am a chuuya doesnt know how to show affection in a gentle way because hes not used to it truther. bye#chuuya bsd#dazai bsd#bsd chuuya#bsd dazai#soukoku#skk#bungo stray dogs
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sometimes you really do have to let go what you want to do at least for the moment, not because you don’t deserve it or you are not allowed to have it, but because you have too much on your plate & your peace is more worth keeping than the overwhelm of achieving everything now.
#note to self tbh#be kind to yourself#positive self talk#self love#healing#trauma recovery#complex trauma#gentle reminder#actually cptsd#cptsd recovery#actually traumatized#actually borderline#procrastination#overwhelm#task management#perfectionism#healing journey#healing quotes#yourhealingjournal
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I think Frisk and Chara share feelings somehow… since they’re connected and stuff
I dreamt I was shot on the chest today and projected a bit on Chara
#art#my art#digital art#ut fanart#undertale#utdr#frisk#chara#chara dreemurr#frisk the human#frisk undertale#chara undertale#digital illustration#chara fanart#frisk fanart#was kind of traumatizing my dream tbh#I was going to draw me but then decided to draw Chara lol
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If SY were to interact with other MXTX characters how many and who do you think he'd be able to wifebeam
the only characters he absolutely would NOT be able to wifebeam are hua cheng, xie lian, and lan wangji. i believe without a doubt he would wifebeam wei wuxian though. he is so vulnerable to beautiful scholarly autistic men.
the majority of side characters are absolutely done for though. wen ning? gone. obliterated. pei ming? fucked. absolutely fucked. sy bottles bisexual awakenings and forcefeeds them to unsuspecting victims. jiang yanli is a married woman but i think she and jin zixuan could blow his back out together. aromantics are immune from the romantic implications of the wifebeam but will still be obsessed with him in some way. only lesbians are safe.
#nhs is a toss up bc he's kind of on his vengeance grind#i don't like pairing jc off with people tbh but i cannot deny he's a prime target.#emotionally constipated traumatized sadboy who really needs validation and emotional security? and he has mommy issues? high risk individua#but maybe he's strong enough to resist from his pure unfuckable swag.#''but wwx was only attracted to lwj he wasn't attracted to lxc!!'' lxc didn't have the wife beam. next question.#ask danny#mxtx#shen yuan#actually i could be swayed on lwj now that i think about it. SY would have to be annoying though#wwx's annoyingness is a key factor of why lwj fell in love with him and i'd need to be convinced sy could muster being that obnoxious.
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Imagining seeing ur roommate who was basically ur annoying other father figure die In front of you and you couldn't do anything, could never be me tbh.
#kind of obsessed with these two together sorry#obey me solomon#obey me luke#i need solo to DIE like rn#i need him to die the moat tragic and painful death ever and have LUKE see it#i just want luke to be traumatized tbh#solomon#luke#obey me#i will take any chance to make their lives actual hell (devildom????)#edit: CHAT I GOT TOO INVESTED IN THE ANGST I FORHOT TO GIVE LUKE MY HEAFCANONS 💔💔💔#HES BORING NOW NOO!!!#obey me au#traumatized luke au
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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every day i struggle to make choices
#i should invest into some kind of education but cant make up my mind#mostly because options suck#i cant do trades unless my body sucks less which is sad because id love to be an electrician#cant even think about getting a pilots license cuz im not passing the med cert#i think id rather die than be a med assistant actually#working clinics at all makes me nervous tbh but probably where im headed in the short term#surgical tech would be cool but i cant do a Real program while working full-time#which is what limits most of my choices#i need to find more paid training programs i guess#if i had to pick a miserable but fulfilling job id go into education itself#but the teaching profession has always been in a downward spiral esp as of late#i dont want healthcare because i hate seeing dysfunctional glorified murder machines grinding around and around endlessly#acute care sucks id rather be in an icu for function but then im depressed because our patients are always dying#it was better as a phleb but this hospital doesnt have phleb and like i said im nervous about clinics#but i need to fucking commit to outpatient phlebotomy i think :/#the most fun ive had at a job ever#i wish i had more widely applicable skills but i cant be an emt/para even just for the training#because half of it is unpaid and the other half you pay for#and again#a job NOTORIOUS for being exhausting dangerous and traumatizing#if i was 17 again and wasnt escaping the tar pit of my mother id go for an english degree and i wouldnt even regret it#thinking about school in terms of a job i have to have forever vs for the sake of learning is so different#id like to know everything. i wanna read and write forever. and do research and have real technical skills that help people#im still riding off of the high of getting 5 ccs off of an oncology patient who desperately needed a port#they were able to run like seven tests off of it#i had to use a couple ped tubes#she only had to get poked Once and barely noticed it bc the doc team came in and im so happy i made her admission that muvh easier#labs are so miserable#checking back on the blood and seeing all of the results came through made me more pleased than anything else in the world
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i am a strong believer in not being rude to young kids on the internet, especially in like kid-friendly media spaces, but sometimes i cant help but wish young kids would stay off of the internet and out of fandom spaces.. like sure, ten year olds are allowed to like saiki k but theyre also the ones that ruin all the comment sections on tiktok or youtube lol..
any time someone mentions a ship, there r hundreds of those "WHAT!! 💔💔 no... saiki x coffee jelly is better!! 😿 if you need to ship, ship saiki x the normal guy! but i ship them in a platonic ship because its better!" "poor saiki.." "saiki doesnt have a crush on satou he just thinks hes interesting, stop shipping them!! 😾" "saiki HATES TERUHASHI !!! HES IN LOVE WITH THE GYARU GIRL!!" comments, and on ANY saiki k video in general there are like "saiki would never be nice to them like that! he hated them!" "this is the most canon saiki k video ever, its so accurate how you made saiki hate all his friends and tell them to shut the fuck up every time they talked!"
i think the youtube comments are all kids (9-13 probably) and the tiktok ones are more teenagers (14-17 i would say).. its annoying either way lol..
#sometimes i like watching those silly gacha saiki k videos#some of them are genuinely just fun and cute and i dont like when people make fun of them just bcuz kids are making them#but some of them are these little 10-14 year olds just dogging on teruhashi for no reason#like these little kids dont have the reading comprehension yet to understand the nuance of teruhashi#and thats fine but they just attack people who tell them their takes are misogynistic#these little kids are learning to hate women at such a young age and it sucks#because the masses (other kids) will agree with them so they think theyre right#plus they dont have the common sense to just be nice to other people instead of promoting their ships on other ship videos#probably because their parents didnt teach them to be kind just like they didnt teach them not to be dumb on the internet lol#i think we should not give kids unmonitored internet access at all tbh#like the solution to this is that until youre like 15 or 16 you shouldnt be able to look at/post whatever you want on the internet-#without someone helping you understand it properly#little kids having unmonitored internet access is so dangerous and can even be full on traumatic depending on what they see/do#saiki k#tdlosk#the disastrous life of saiki k.#saiki kusuo#meows post
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I suppose it's a bit telling that as someone who never had migraines before in their life, my emotional stress has been so bad this year I've begun having them. Brain please that is anything but helpful 🫠
#I may have had one last October but I definitely had a full blown migraine for the first time in March this year. Took me out for 3 days ffs#guess the traumatic panic of yesterday was PLENTY to trigger one last night. Not surprised tbh but still. NOT HELPFUL BRAIN#I just... this year man. This year has been Brutal. The list of depression sources is painful on many levels#I think I've gone through almost every kind of grief this year and there's still another month of 2024 left! CAN WE NOT?#and after the election... 2025 ain't looking so hot. I don't get paid enough to afford all the therapy I need OTL#bat bat bat bat
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tagged by @piyo-13 to make a poll of my top 5 characters and see who comes out on top and well....
Honorable Mentions: Mishil from Queen Seondeok (the OG baddie bitch antiheroine!!! Watching this sageuk as a kid literally alternated my brain chemistry hahaha), Emily Throne from Revenge (another OG antiheroine girlie I was frothing at the mouth over!!!) and Jem Carstairs from The Infernal Devices (the stranglehold this boi had on me during the heyday of the YA paranormal romance era LMAOOO)
Tagging @gyuseulogy, @selkiestars, @skadren, @whenquietthunders, @yukipri, and anyone else who wants to do this!
#personal#bruh...this was so hard#i originally had a top 20#narrowed it down to 10#and each time i narrowed down#i felt like i was sending off my children off to the guillotine rofl#a friend once absolutely CLOCKED me#by saying 'ur fave taste in fictional men is the kind princely type with severe childhood trauma'#while ur taste in fictional women is OG baddie bitches that you want them to step on u#typically in the antiheroine vein#and i was like 'do not...do not perceive me in this fashion plz'#but clearly she was right#but also characters who continue to chose KINDNESS and EMPATHY in increasingly unkind worlds/circumstances#that shit is my personal catnip#literally frothing at the mouth over#all the men in this poll seem to be cut from the same cloth tbh#they are my traumatized pookie sons lmaooo#and i usually scream about them in the tags a la 'MY PRECIOUS SONNNN!!!'#tanjirou should be fairly obvious#as I glanced to my acrylic standee collection on my bookshelves#and I have 7-8 standees of him alone [but a few are group standees lol]
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A Case of Ladybug Luck: Masterpost
Hello there everyone, and welcome to the waiting room of Hell! I cannot believe it's been an entire year since I started this AU and I never made this. But anyway, below you'll find a list of every chapter of A Case of Ladybug Luck, along with the fic's summary! Feel free to ask me about it, this AU is genuinely one of my favorites! It's really angsty, lots of good stuff here!
I will be updating this frequently with content from across this AU! Currently I have the main fic and the what-if fic, but more ideas are on the drawing board! You can find everything below the cut! I will be leaving the summary for ACOLL here, anyone interested is more than welcome to shoot me an ask! Please mind the tags and warnings for each chapter, and enjoy reading! Summary: Marinette doesn't think she can keep living like this. She never told Alya her secret, and her life is in shambles. Adrien is the only one who has noticed and tried to help, but he isn't enough. Lila has them both trapped in a web of lies they can't escape from, and their friends are all taking her side, unwilling to listen to either of them. She's losing hope. At least...at least Chat Noir noticed. She still had her partner. But when an oppurtunity presents itself to Marinette, the perfect chance to get away from this hellish existence and start brand new, she takes it, leaving Paris to deal with the consequences of her actions...
A Case of Ladybug Luck:
Arc 1: End of the Line
Chapter 1: End of the Line
Chapter 2: Last Night in Paris
Chapter 3: The Butterfly Effect
Chapter 4: Perfection's Shattering
Chapter 5: The Illusion of Living
Chapter 6: Cat's Cradle
Chapter 7: Spotted Trouble
Chapter 8: Let the Masks Fall
Chapter 9: Mastermind's Confession
Chapter 10: Aftermath
Arc 2: Liar Liar...Fauxfire
Chapter 11: Investigative Journalism
Chapter 12: Kind Stranger
Chapter 13: Fault and Forgiveness
Chapter 14: Thawed out Hearts
Chapter 15: Shopping Therapy
Chapter 16: Felix
Chapter 17: Remembrance of Gold Part 1
Chapter 18: Remembrance of Gold Part 2
Chapter 19: Marching Far Away
Chapter 20: Dearest Family
Chapter 21: Burn Our Bridges Down
Chapter 22: Ashen Ghosts
Chapter 23: Liar liar...
Chapter 24: Fauxfire
Arc 3: Tying the Noose
Chapter 25: It's Always Sunny
Chapter 26: Reunion
Chapter 27: Family Secrets
Chapter 28: Argos
Chapter 29: Ryuko
Chapter 30: The Rising Storm
Chapter 31: N/A
Chapter 32: N/A
Chapter 33: N/A
Chapter 34: N/A
Chapter 35: N/A
Chapter 36: N/A
Chapter 37: N/A
Chapter 38: N/A
Arc 4: Shadowmoth's Final Attack
Chapter 39: Shadowmoth's Final Attack Part 1
Chapter 40: Shadowmoth's Final Attack Part 2
A Case of Ladybug Luck: What If?
Chapter 1: What if...Chloe chased after Marinette?
Chapter 2: What if...Adrien ran away from home?
TBC
More projects TBA
#miraculous ladybug#a case of ladybug luck#ao3 fanfic#miraculous fanfic#masterpost#yolo's masterposts#adding that tag cuz i have more aus to make these for#marinette dupain cheng#adrien agreste#angst#like...a lot of angst#bit much innit?#emotional damage#i am not kidding#my readers are traumatized#so am i tbh#details details#you don't make good angst without crying over your own scenes#but yeah feel free to check the au out#also podfics / art / fanfic of my fanfic / comics/ other fan projects of any kind are very very welcome!#to know that my work has inspired someone to make stuff is amazing#it seriously would be the greatest thing ever#anyway yeah#i have another 10 chapters of this hell to write as of editing#and dear god#nobody is ready for this#just ao3 things#hope you enjoy#hope i don't finish this au in a nursing home#anyway i'll see myself out!
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i have so much unwritten ria angst but this is okiria in the hypothetical spinoff that exists in my beautiful mind palace. peace and love
#i've said before that ria actively chooses her optimistic mindset but i want her to kind of crack tbh.#i really love gintama bc it is a story about traumatized people and how they can just be normal every day people#they can be silly and goofy but that doesn't mean they aren't traumatized too#and the main reason i haven't written anything officially is a) it feels so indulgent and b) i haven't decided EXACTLY what makes her break#but tbh all the mizu5 posting on twitter has me thinking about the silly happy characters that mask their sadness just full on shattering#and i'm like damn. i gotta let ria have that moment#⚔️ show your fangs#🐈⬛ nice to meet you earthling
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Hi welcome to my Ted talk where I get unhealthily hyperfixated on an actor (Danny Pudi) after rewatching a show that they’re in (community) and then going down a rabbit hole and eventually becoming obsessed with a narcissistic capitalist federal criminal (Brad Bakshi) because goDDAMNIT HES JUST SO BABYGIRL.
#danny pudi#mythic quest#brad bakshi#abed nadir#abed <3#Brad Bakshi my adorable silly little goofy guy#he’s traumatized okay#hes so pretty#he’s so babygirl#i love him so much#it’s kind of concerning tbh#i may need help#and I may just might just maybe possibly need to be caged immediately#he’s just a silly little guy#also hes so so pretty and like for what reason
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Noooo…… first it’s Yuuta and Shoko, now they’re yo-yoing back around to Megumi.
#no they’re bashing megumi even more than ever now…. sometimes some characters aren’t built for all of THIS AND ITS OKAY#he’s forever traumatized bro he just lost his sister in front of his eyes and his body was the one that killed her#same situation with Gojo who took care of his sister and he from when they was toddlers and up#megumi doesn’t want to live anymore and yuuji has already tried getting through to him he’s completely broken and even if he’s saved megumi#might not ever be the same#I feel like fans keep on forgetting that these are kids going through all of this stuff that even some of the hardest adults wouldn’t be#able to handle#they bash him but a lot of these same ppl forget what happened to getou and love him unconditionally#they’d say “’well other characters have lost a lot as well and they’re still trying!’ and I just have to#restate that again; simply not every character is built like some hard boiled shounen badass jjk is not the usual shounen that a lot of#fans still refuse to see tbh like it’s kind of built different 🗿#it’s core genres are literally horror/psychological horror like no one if gonna be bouncing back like Naruto bro#and in Naruto’s case he never got to see anyone precious to him die in front of him#who knows what Naruto would’ve went through if sasuke was killed in front of him#but then again#Naruto was already a crazy ass#he vowed to kill sasuke and die with him so nvm#but megumi ISNT crazy like that that’s the difference ajsjsjsj#he’s always been one of the more rational characters amongst his peers#he’s so normal!!! everyone else is fucked up or got larger personalities than he does#maybe ppl are pissed off at the fact that megumi simply isn’t fighting back… it’s frustrating but he’s in pain bro#I don’t see him making it out alive at all either if I’m being real#Yuuji might be one of the only characters to survive at this rate I doubt Yuuta is even going to pull through after the techniques 5 min#are up either…#rambling#the point it…… as sad as it may sound all of the characters fighting so hard now are doing so because they simply have to#Sukuna is literally a calamity and these are the only characters left who will even stand any chance against such a great entity#they don’t have much of a choice man#Gojo tried to prepare his students for the future so that they’ll be strong enough to fight back anything together. not alone#Everyone is doing what they can now
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maybe i have not seen the content people complain about but when i see talks about the fandom infantilizing toki i'm confused cause like...didn't canon start that...with every passing season toki become more and more child-like until age regression was essentially confirmed in aotd...
#dont reblog PLEASE im just thinking outloud i dont want discourse#rambling#like idk canonically toki likes coloring books and offered pizza/chocolate to skwisgaar in exchange for a solo#he gets excited about secret santa and says woweee#he has a teddy bear etc etc#none of these things have to be inherently child-like#but the way toki is written during these scenes is purposefully meant to be perceived that way#plus he's the youngest of the band#never taken seriously#throws tantrums often#and so on#there's a whole scene in aotd where the joke is that toki is essentially acting like a child that wants to be taken to the bathroom#there's always gonna be people flanderizing but honestly toki is a tough nut to crack tbh#the key is finding the balance imo. he might have child-like interests but hes also BRUTAL#and overall he STILL IS AN ADULT in a death metal band that gets his dick wet often and does drugs on the regular#he just also is traumatized and wants to reclaim the childhood he never had imo#i think dethklok is somehow a safe space for him to act the way he wants to act vs the way he was forced to when he lived w his parents#he prolly had no choice but to grow too fast and was essentially forbidden to experience any kind of joy#so with dethklok he can indulge in all those silly little things he never got to back then#thats how i see it at least
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accidentally clicked on a video about different jutsus now I’m contemplating if i should read the entire naruto manga for the first time
#its a bad idea especially after reading jjk and#I’m kind of scared of re-traumatizing myself with kishimoto’s writing#chakra is kind of a boring power system too especially after the introduction of its origins (worst part of the entire manga tbh)#but i miss the fights of og naruto :/#☁️.blogging
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