#its not when youre hallucinating spiders crawling all over you thats the issue | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dontforgetthedragon · 3 years ago

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the thing about mental illnesses like social anxiety (which might be compounded by the autism) is the way that you just lose all reference point for what is and what isnt acceptable social behaviour

because when your brain is always going into overdrive thinking up ways that your actions and words could be interpreted badly, or could hurt or offend other people, you lose all sense of whats just batshit nonsense and whats actually a reasonable concern

and i feel like no-one talks about this??? no-one talks about the self-aware anxious person who conciously fights agaisnt what their anxious brain is telling them and ends up asking what turn out to be really invasive questions or being unintentionally rude and then beating themself up about it for months afterwards because they didnt realise that their brain was RIGHT to try and stop them this time because it just felt like all the other times where their brain was WRONG

#anxiety #autism #ive pretty much recovered from my social anxiety at this point #but there was a time a few years back when id just finally acknowledged that i had a serious problem i needed to work to improve #where this kept happening to me every time i tried to get better and prove to my anxious brain that it was overreacting #and nothing sets recovery back like your mental illness being proved right for once #the autism and lack of comprehending what allistics consider acceptable or not likely didnt help #i think its why vespa talking about her psychosis in tpp made my cry so much #its not when youre hallucinating spiders crawling all over you thats the issue #its when there are actually spiders crawing all over you and you just let them because you think they arent real

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