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lil-dinopup · 6 months ago

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Mahou NO Star Hana Chapter 6

Today We Have Chapter 6! You Can Read It Here Thank you for reading!

Summary: Kohana Kousei was a 28 year old NEET, but not by choice. One day, the fairy Hanatora decides to help her. She gives Kohana a special collar and bracelets that let Hanatora transform Kohana into a beautiful teenage girl. Hanatora will do whatever it takes to make Kohana's childhood dream to become a famous actress come true, no matter how much magic it takes. This story is inspired by classic animes like Mahou no Stage Fancy Lala, Mahou no Idol Pastel Yumi, and Mahou no Tenshi Creamy Mami

Or you can read the story below!

This audition Kohana was a little exciting because she knew that Ukka was going to be there too. The bunny loving teen had told her all about it in their text messages. They had agreed to meet up before the auditions and practice together. She was rather thrilled to practice with the other teenage girl.

Kohana cringed and mentally scolded herself, she wasn’t really a teenage girl. Torahana just made her look like a teenager… a lot. But, was she really any different from her teenage self? Before the fairy came into her life she had been living her life the same way she had as a teenager, lonely and escaping reality through works of fiction.

She shook her head because her life was a lot better now! She had Torahana and she had a real friend too! Besides the tiger fairy who felt much more than just a friend, Ukka had become something maybe other people would refer to as a best friend? Having never had friends before Kohana wasn’t fully sure if that was the right term. The rabbit loving teen was a friend who always remembered little details about her. Like how she hated when food touched each other or that despite her love for animals she was too shy to ask an owner to pet their dog, so Ukka would ask for her.

Before Torahana no one remembered anything about her; not even her own family remembered big details like her birthday. But, these two remembered the small little things and it meant more than anything to her.

Practicing with Ukka was like an amusing game. It was extra fun because the other teenager was getting more comfortable with doing things like keeping Usaku out of her bag and carrying the cute cherry blossom bunny plush! She even talked to the bunny and would bring it up to her ear like Kohana did with Torahana! It made her feel extra happy that she couldn’t stop herself from bouncing or flapping her hands. But, Ukka never made any mean comments about it. Just like her dear tiger fairy.

Despite practicing with Ukka and nailing the lines with the rabbit themed teenager. Once it was time for the audition, it was all for nothing. This time Kohana managed not to run away. When she was told to start, she couldn’t remember the lines she had done perfectly with Ukka. “I’m-m-m s-s-s-sorry” She stuttered out unsure what else to say.

“It’s okay, take your time.” The man kindly told her.

But the extra time didn’t help. She brought Torahana closer to her face, hugging her tightly. “‘M-m ss-s-sorry” She repeated again her voice was a little muffled by her tiger fairy’s fur.

“Would you like the script to look at it again?”

With an awkward nod she walked stiffly over to the man and went to grab the piece of paper. “T-Thank you”

Staring at the paper she squeezed the fairy a little tighter. She could see the words, she could read them but her brain wasn’t absorbing what she was reading. She couldn’t get the words out.

“How about you come back when you’ve gained some more confidence sweetie.” The man spoke like a man who was a father to a shy daughter at home.

“T-Thank you… I’m s-sorry” With that she left the room.

Ukka hugged her the second she walked over to the teenage girl. “You’ll do better next time”

It must have been clear she didn’t do well. “I gotta go home, but text me what happens okay?” Kohana asked her friend.

“Of course!”

The walk home was rather quiet. It was hard for Torahana to watch. She hadn’t thought about while they had worked on getting her cub more comfortable with people looking and commenting about her, they hadn’t worked much on her interacting with others. Sure she was texting Ukka a lot and she even hung out with the teenage girl again at a small cafe, Ukka was always the one doing most of the talking. And just because she was now more comfortable with the teenage girl, she wasn’t comfortable talking to others.

While Torahana and many would find Kohana’s behavior adorable, it wasn’t good when it came to auditioning for a role as an up and coming actress.

At home it was when the tiger woman was cooking her cub dinner as the human laid on the couch watching her favorite cartoon movie to “forget” about her awful day, until there was a loud gasp. Kohana ran over into the kitchen.

“Slow down cub; running in the apartment isn’t safe, rawr! Especially when I'm cooking.” The older woman scolded, while she mixed the spaghetti sauce into the pot of angel hair noodles.

Kohana was holding her phone. “Ukka got the role! The one that was auditioned for!” She exclaimed.

Turning to face the younger woman, Torahana was glad to see that her cub didn’t look upset. No, in fact she seemed delighted. Before the tiger fairy could speak, her human started speaking again.

“She’s gonna be on tv! I’m so happy for her! Do you think we should get her a congratulation gift?” Kohana asked, bouncing slightly.

Torahana gave her human cub a smile pulling her into a hug. “That sounds like a lovely idea sweetheart. Now go wash your paws for dinner, rawr.”

In the bathroom as Kohana washed her hands she noticed that her hair was curlier than it had been before the tiger fairy entered her life. Her reflection looked more lively, healthier and happier too. It wasn’t that shocking Torahana helped her do things that were hard, like encouraging her to take baths even when they were hard for her and the fairy made delicious homemade dinners instead of her living off ramen and snacks.

If it wasn’t for Torahana she would still be lonely, living her life like a ghost. Torahana in many ways was like the mom she always wished she had. And because of the fairy she had met Ukka who was also so nice. Even though they didn't hang out all the time they texted all the time and it was easier to open up and be social through their messages. It turned out the other girl really liked anime and video games and stuff too!

Her life was so different now. She was never lonely; she had Torahana and she also had Ukka. No longer just eating convenience store food. Staying in her apartment for days at a time until she had to leave for food. The fairy liked her going out for walks outside at least once a day, and would encourage her to work on her social skills. That was hard. But her favorite thing to do when they left the house was either when she went to see Ukka or when it was shopping day where Torahana would turn into her human form and take Kohana shopping with her in her teenage form. She was pretty used to the tiger changing her into her teenage form often to get used to people. She didn’t mind. But she also when they were at home and she was her normal self too. Something she didn’t have the nerves to tell Torahana was she loved when people thought the fairy was the mother to her teenager form.

“Are you coming, rawr?”

“Yes Toramama” Kohana called out without thinking.

When she came to the table Torahana had a big smile on her face, like the cat that got the cream. “Something happened?” She asked tilting her head

The fairy just smiled and handed her a bowl of spaghetti. “Would you like apple juice or milk?”

“Apple juice please!”

After dinner Torahana agreed to watch Lilo and Stitch with her, one of Kohana’s favorite movie’s.

“Would you like to be cuddle or cuddle, little cub?” The fairy asked, still in her human form.

Chewing on her finger’s Kohana thought for a moment. She loved cuddling Torahana in her fairy form, like a little girl holding her favorite plush toy. But at the same time she also loved when Torahana stayed in her human form and let her rest her head in her lap as they watched the movies. The fairy was never bothered with how affectionate and needy she tended to be. In fact once when Kohana got self conscious and worried about it. The tiger fairy had explained that she found it very cute and liked any form of cuddles too. Unlike her parents growing up Torahana was never too busy for a quick cuddle, she was never told by the fairy she was in the way, or being too much right now and needed to stop being a bother.

“Cuddled please.” Kohana said gently.

Halfway through the movie the human sleepily rubbed her face in Torahana’s side. “I’m sorry I didn’t get the audition.” She tiredly mumbled.

“It’s okay sweetheart.”

“I’ll do better next time mama. Duh leave me.” A soft sleepy plea came out of the human’s mouth as her hands grasped the fairy’s dress tightly.

Torahana smiled warmly at the mostly asleep girl, petting her hair gently. “I won’t leave you, my little cub.”

#dinopup writing #agere #fandom agere #agere writing #agere story #mahou shoujo

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exileorexodus · 8 months ago

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passively went through all of my old hypermania character playlists and realized I missed the characters from that story in a sizable quantity that even I was frightened by.

Especially Denver and Dallas- I was incredibly fond of both of them.

Those two ended up making me reflect on how I’ve been raised in proximity to the black community and black culture throughout my life, I have a deep respect for the heritage, especially the artistry that comes out of it.

My middle school was pretty goddamn poor, extremely multicultural as a result, and absolutely riddled with POC (alongside Canada’s usual default setting white kids) and notable individuals amongst the bozos I hung out with the most were of the community and basically hurled me into their culture early on.

I can’t say that my experience has always been positive, there’s was always a present undercurrent of vague competitiveness and constant ego-challenge and tests of pride that my young and goofy autistic ass just wasn’t able up keep up with (my fault g my skin was just paper thin back then)

A notable entryway I had into online black-dominated spaces was through a person who, although supportive of some of my struggles and understanding of my poor mental health, still treated me incredibly inappropriately for someone as young as I was. I remember being pressured regularly to send nudes - as an eleven year old- - and ensuing upwards- by the only individual I felt like I could confide in, at least with confidence that I wouldn’t be brushed off or reported on at a time when my environment was horrid.

(the only thing I credit to ever preventing me from having been successfully groomed is because I’ve always been violently aroace- it’s one of the few (lucky) reasons (beyond being stuck up my own ass and horrifically self centered) that I never really managed to compromise my self online. No amount of peer pressure or validation-seeking insecurity could ever get me to crack for something I found innately disgusting.)

All of that regardless, that person is still the reason why I had an opening into black and black-adjacent communities and perhaps ended up as tough as I did as a result- you didn’t roll in those circles and come out softshelled. There are still experiences that I’m still fond of and cherish from those points in time, and I honestly enjoy being immersed in the cultures of whom I would probably not be able or understand too well otherwise I still remember sitting in those voice calls, muted and streaming ibisPaint while I drew on my phone, passively listening to the banter of other people. I never had the balls to really talk myself- there was that sort of constant power struggle ingrained into the community culture that I was never able to reciprocate. But I remember those same people who would frequently test my pride liking my art and encouraging me to stream more because watching me draw was calming to them, and there’s a fondness for that memory that I hold dear.

Anyways this is long and ran away from me, this was just supposed to be a post about how man I think back culture and legacy is really cool and also denver and dallas are extremely west coast-hiphop and rap influenced because that shit has always been a vibe to me- rap can be pretty fucking awesome and is poetry in its own right you just gotta know where to look (looking isn’t that hard 💀)

Also on a side tangent; there’s something so melancholic about the more somber tracks of spiderverse and I think it captures the feeling of loneliness in a wide, wide world very well- those are just the emotions that are wrenched out of me when I listen to music like hide (then again much of juice wrld’s discography carries that same feeling)

#long ass tangent #not the trauma dump in the middle #it gets and did get worse it always gets worse with me I’m ngl #shen lore is built like an iceberg #ishkabibble

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shaanks · 2 years ago

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Zoro and Sanji for the ask game <3

You are a wonder and a dear, thank you for this <3

1: sexuality headcanon

Zoro: I think Zoro is like. THE posterboy for demisexual. demisexual, demiromantic, the whole thing, I don't think gender makes much of a difference to him in terms of attraction but he's gotta know you and trust you, he's gotta be invested first or he just doesn't think of folks that way.

Sanji: the ultimate bisexual disaster case. He and Ace and Shanks all attend the same "gorgeous pitiful bisexual disaster" support group, as a small aside.

2: otp

other than x me...

Zoro: I think probably ZoLu or ZoSan, tho likely leaning more in the direction of Luffy based solely on ration of Fics I Have Chosen to Read lmao. There is just something about the way they met and it took Zoro exactly 24 business hours to be like "my life and my sword for your cause," the way they just. get each other, half the time without even needing to speak, the softness and solidarity of it all. Just gets me, ya know.

Sanji: SanLu or ZoSan (are you sensing a pattern lmfao). In general maaaybe SanLu bc like. I think Sanji is very much inside himself about his own worth and place in the world, and Luffy is like. Relentless (as he is with everyone he loves and cares for) about reaching down into that pit and pulling Sanji out into the sun over and over again and there's just smth really lovely about that. Monster Trio OT3 is lovely soft times I feel.

3: brotp

Zoro: Chopper oh my god. He's the lil dude's big brother, his dad, his bestie, please listen to me every MOMENT of their interactions breathes new life into my rotten dusty soul. Also Nami, they met and were like "ah. my long lost sibling. what if I killed you" and have such a wonderful dynamic.

Sanji: Chopper also, tho not quite to the degree that Zoro is. Also, altho probably a controversial opinion, I really like his relationship with Robin. I don't wanna spoil anything (in case you or anyone reading is watching/gonna watch) but there's a particular arc in which the only person more relentless than he is about bringing her home is Luffy, like. I think he's a wonderful sweet boy all around but smth about his gentleness with Robin really warms my heart.

4: notp

Zoro: Nami, they are just. SO so sibling coded to me like. Perona for the same reason tbph, they're Mihawk's adopted goth siblings and I can't really extricate that from my brain. Mihawk. For that matter. That's basically his dad. (Not yucking anyone's yum idc what other people ship tbph but I don't like these ones personally)

Sanji: I've just sat here staring into space for like five minutes trying to think of smth. I haven't seen much of anything for him that really yucks me out (unless I'm just blanking which like. happens. I have the brain of a 90 year old), but I guess like. Not notp-levels exactly but I don't really get SanUsopp or SanLaw? The latter might just be a "wait til you get to Wano" situation like so many other things, but yeah.

5: first headcanon that pops into my head

Zoro: saw a post a while back that was someone's headcanon about Zoro lending out his earrings to his crewmates for like. especially dangerous missions, or to give them a lil confidence boost, or as a promise that he would make it back from something scary, and that's stuck in my brain so hard its basically canon for me, so yeah.

Sanji: I think he's basically a nutritionist in everything but paper certification, above and beyond just making sure his crew is fed and goes to bed with full tummies he is SO dialed in to what they like and what their systems are sensitive to and what they need for training/devil fruit powers/etc like. It's not just "here I have made this hearty delicious meal that covers all the food groups" he makes a bunch of different meals catered to everyone's needs, he gets it.

6: favorite line from this character

Zoro: "That's what it means to be Captain, isn't it. Don't lose yourself. If you waver, who can we trust?"

Sanji: "Leave this guy's key to me, I'll do what you cant do; you do what I can't do. Think carefully! Read the situation. If you're here, there's got to be a way Robin-chan can be saved! Usopp!"

7: one way in which I relate to this character

Zoro: TERMINAL sleepyhead disorder. Tired all the time, sleeping in the background of every scene.

Sanji: I'm capable and competent while simultaneously having no sense of self-worth whatsoever. ya know.

8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character

Zoro: Where!!! Is he ever going??? He gets lost while MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH THE SHIP. MULTIPLE TIMES. Babygirl beloved I'm BEGGING you rn...

Sanji: I mean. I'm just gonna say Fishman Island and leave it at that. (They brought him back from the timeskip a completely different person and I'm STILL waiting for him to return from the war...)

9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave?

They're BOTH cinnamon rolls in my heart, but I am aware like. Sanji technically falls into the problematic fave category for like. myriad reasons.

#av answers #longist post under the cut #mysdrym #thank you for the ask friend this was wonderful to do c:#OP #Zoro #Sanji

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readymades2002 · 4 years ago

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well. well! well

#my arte #genuinely did not think i would have enough to fill this out #okay to be ENTIRELY honest? i think my output at the beginning of the year like jan-may was alright #i had my own room for a bit and i got to be experimental with pens and stuff for awhile i think it was cool #and i DID actually complete a few projects i am proud of this year! april and december i finished two art memes #and artfight was in july and not to be over my head but im still pretty happy with what i did there even if it was interrupted by #uh. yknow #i wasnt consistent i definitely didnt make as much art through the year as id like #but. well. honestly i guess it wasnt as bad as i thought. im being hard on myself maybe. this is fine #id like to be more confident about it next year and to try and complete more stuff digitally. id love to use my sketchbook more!!!!!#it is dear to me. i feel much more confident on paper. just gotta #really just gotta set aside a space in which to work fhjkdfs #dont ask abt may listen. the rest of the drawing its from i looked back at and was like oh this is kinda shit innit #but the detailing was fine and the light effects are basic but they still look nice and i didnt make anything else salvageable #so. whatever <3 #i think thats my takeaway from this depressing summary. is Whatever <3 who even care

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matsur1 · 3 years ago

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Warnings: Shinichiro x f!reader, angst, death, depression, suicide [kind of?] andddd idk what else- but if there's more then pls lmk<3

word count: 1.2k words!

A/n: This is a one time thing (for now I guess?-) that I did bc I was inspired by a tiktok, also can't tell if this is a sad ending or a happy ending💀 anyways enjoy reading!! SORRY IF SOMEONE ALREADY DID THIS PLOTT AKJSHDUFADF IF SUM1 ALREADY DID PLS LMK SO I CAN DELETE THISS (cz they might think I stole their plottttt) tiktok inspiration link: https://www.tiktok.com/@sohndehr/video/7101730597776772379?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc&web_id=7080717004572182017

You were in your father’s shop as usual, doing duties as he told you to. You listed down all the things found in your father’s shop until you heard a voice.

“Um, excuse me miss,” he had an appealing, mid-low voice.

You turned around to see who the customer was, and you replied, “Ah yes, is there something you need?” The black-haired man hesitated and stuttered, “Can I get your numbe- I mean- uh- do you guys have any motor parts available?” You chuckled at his stuttering and “mistake”, but you decided to say, “Mhm, we do.”

“Oh okay, can I take a look at them and see which ones I could buy?” He once again asked. “Sure!” you stated.

While you led him into the motor part section of the shop, you decided to tease him a bit, “By the way, I don’t mind giving you my number at all.” He blushed and denied, pretending not to know what you were talking about.

Later on, when he was done paying for the things he bought. He mustered up all the confidence he had and smugly asked you, “So, where’s that number I was supposed to get? Don’t tell me I gotta pay for that too!” You giggled at the humor he had and gave him a little paper with your number written on it. You both then told your goodbyes, and both your day went on with a big smile on your faces.

After giving the black-haired man your number, he immediately texted you that night as soon as he finally finished with all the things he needed to do. He started the conversation by texting you, “Hey! It’s me from the shop. I forgot ask you your name earlier. My name’s Shinichiro Sano! You can call me Shin in short.” The both of you from then on got to know each other even more. Not to mention, he also kept bragging about his siblings.

Finding out that Shin came back to his homeland, Japan, made you sad but he promised you that he’ll go back to the Philippines along with his siblings next time! And of course, time came when you both officially became a couple!

One day he sent you a message. Reading, “Hey y/n! I know it’s been months since we last got to see each other in person. And trust me I miss you very much!!! I’ve been working hard to save up money so me, Mikey, Emma, and Izana could visit you there! Mikey keeps getting mad at me because I tell him about you all the time. I’m certain that even though I haven’t told Emma and Izana about you yet, they’d love you!!!! Won’t let them steal you away from me though. Anyways, just a bit more patience princess. We’ll be able to see you very soon!!!!! Love you always and keep safe, alright? I’ll see you soon.

Love, Shinichiro”

And that letter was no exception to Shin’s letters giving you a smile that reaches the ears and butterflies in your stomach. You were very excited to meet his siblings too, of course! You had a strong feeling that you’d get along with them very, very well! You sometimes would even have a hard time sleeping at night, not being able to hide your excitement. Even during the day, your father would always tease you for always having so much energy, asking you what you’re always excited for.

And that excitement didn’t last long, after a month of Shin sending that letter to you. Today, you also got another letter sent in the mail. You got excited, thinking it was from Shin. Checking the letter only to see it was from Shin’s grandfather. Written down was, “Hello dear y/n, I’ve heard a lot about you from Shin-chan. You truly are a kind woman to our Shin and we’re always grateful for that. He never had a girlfriend once in his life and knowing that his first girlfriend is a respectful woman like you makes me happy for him,” You smile at the kind words given by his grandfather, until… “However, I’m sorry to be the one telling you this but, Shin has passed away. I wish to invite you here in Japan and attend his funeral. Make sure to kindly ask your parents for permission first. I’m really sorry y/n. We hope to see you here. I’m sure Shin would also want to see you one last time.” You weren’t expecting this at all. After all, he promised right? He promised he’d see you again in person. Tears kept dripping down. Your father noticed you and asked you what the matter was, but no words were able to leave your mouth. Nothing but the cries of a woman in love losing her partner.

After you were finally able to calm down a little, your father allowed you to go to Shin’s funeral.

Finally, you reached Japan. Shin’s grandfather got Shin’s friend named Wakasa to pick you up from the airport and bring you into the Sano household. The bus that you rode with Wakasa was pretty empty and quiet. You look outside the window, sorrow taking control of your eyes. “So, you’re Shin’s girlfriend?” he politely asked. After seconds of waiting, he got no reply, so he decided to break the silence once again, “He kept bragging about you to basically everyone he meets up with. He always goes “My girlfriend’s like this and that.” Wakasa chuckles, trying to remember the countless times Shin bragged about you. "He never shuts up.”

You feel tears cloud up your eyes once again, but you decided to wipe it off, not wanting to cause a ruckus inside the bus. You sniff, “Aren’t you sad about his death? Aren’t you his friend?” You curiously ask. “Well, of course, I am. But I know Shin, and he wouldn’t want his loved ones to sob gallons of tears for his death, maybe a whole bottle would be acceptable for him, but never a gallon. He’d surely get mad.” He replied trying to make you cry less.

You finally arrive at the Sano household. Slowly walking over to the casket, you saw Shin’s picture. His innocent smile wanted to make you sob right then and there but you pulled yourself together, remembering what Wakasa had told you. You were able to hold back your tears, not until you saw Shinichiro peacefully resting inside his casket. He was wearing a black suit. A suit you were supposed to see in yours and Shin’s wedding. But instead of a wedding, it was at his funeral.

You fell onto your knees. You heard other people crying but what caught your attention was two little voices that seemed like Mikey and Emma. You heard a little girl ask, “Mikey-nii, who is that girl?”

“Shin-nii’s first and last girlfriend,” Mikey replied in monotone. “Oh… that’s, sad… They were just two people that are in love...” Emma muttered.

In the end, you still cried about a gallon of tears. And those tears lasted for months. You decided to lock up yourself inside your room, never having any appetite nor energy to go out. You just couldn’t find any motivation anymore. No matter how many reasons this world could give you, it was different without Shin. Until the time came, you knew it was your turn.

“Shin...” you whispered, then your eyes slowly shut off. You saw a vision of a blurred black-haired man. Slowly, your visions were finally able to identify who it was.

“We meet again, my princess.”

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 3 years ago

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Laisse tomber les filles 7

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; size kink; age gap; manipulation; sexual acts and dubcon (not explicitly tagged for a surprise but nothing extreme).

This is a dark!fic and Lee Bodecker x (short) reader and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: You find yourself ostracized on campus by your shyness, but your reticence won’t deter an unwanted suitor.

Note: We back at it again! Happy Tuesday.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

‘When I was nineteen, pureness was the great issue...I saw the world divided into people who had slept with somebody and people who hadn’t, and this seemed the only really significant difference between one person and another. I thought a spectacular change would come over me the day I crossed the boundary line.’

You read and reread the paragraph. You couldn’t help it. The first time you read that book, you just didn’t get the cynicism. There were still parts you couldn’t quite relate to. But that passage sank into you like a pebble in water. You felt changed already and after something so little.

You hadn’t seen Lee since Saturday. He had your number now and called at night. A few times, there was noise in the background; people, cars, life. You realised he must’ve been at a payphone, taking a moment away from his patrol. That was another thing about him; he felt so established, so wise, and that made you feel even less.

When the phone began to ring that night, you ignored it. And when it stopped, you picked up the receiver and dialed the only number you knew. Your mom picked up and you heard the sink running in the background. She was always busy when you called.

“Mom,” you said, “it’s me.”

“Oh, hi, dear,” she replied in her creaky tone, “how are you? Oh, is something wrong?”

“Um… I’m okay, I just wanted to call, I…” you thought of telling her about Lee but you weren’t really sure how. You weren’t even sure why you called her, only that you felt alone. “I miss you and daddy.”

“We miss you, too,” you heard her steps and her grunt as she stretched the cord and twisted off the faucet. “He’s been working hard down at the steel yard and he’s so proud. All the other men tell him to hush up when he brags about you.”

“Yeah? I… I’m working hard. Got an A on my last paper,” you played with the coiled cord.

“That’s great, dear,” she chimed, “are you sure you’re okay? You sound tired.”

“I am tired,” you said, “that’s all. Studying and all that.”

“I hope so. I wouldn’t want you going out late to one of those parties,” she tittered, “Noreen’s son got arrested at one of those and spent a night in jail. They spent their mortgage to get him out.”

“No, no, I don’t, um, go to parties,” you assured, not adding that no one would even think to invite you to one.

“Oh, dear, I’m sorry, I’ll have to call back tomorrow,” she sighed as you heard the door clamour, “your father’s so intent on hurting himself these days.”

“Okay, um, it’s alright, I’ll talk later, love y--” the phone went dead and you listened to the dull tone.

You put the receiver back in the cradle and tapped your fingers on your lips. You picked up your book and sat back on your bed. You couldn’t focus on the words though as your mind lingered on the familiar sounds of home. You missed it terribly. You just wanted to take the bus and go hide in your old childhood bed.

The phone rang again. You knew it wasn’t your mother. You left it and when it silenced, there was only a second before it started again. You waited until the next lull and moved the receiver off the cradle and let the low hum rise from the speaker. You kept it off the hook and closed your book.

You didn’t want to deal with any of that today. Not Lee, not Plath, not the plague of woes that roiled your stomach. You flopped onto your bed and pulled your pillow over your head. You weren’t going to think again until your morning lecture.

📚

You sat near the front of the hall with your elbow on the small fold-out desk. You swirled your pen lazily in the air as you listened to the professor expound on the flaws of historical revisionism. He wasn’t the type to entertain questions or comments, he merely ranted and expected you to note those few words of value amidst the sea of thoughts.

You yawned, exhausted despite an early night. You felt empty and drained those last four days. Ever since…

You didn’t think about it. Tried not to even as it tugged at your mind. When the memory managed to poke through, you felt the same tingle between your legs and your cheeks burned in humiliation.

How had you let it happen? How could you let yourself do that?

You were so confused by it all. How could it be wrong if Lee said it was right? He was older, he was a cop, and he knew much more than you. You never even kissed a boy before him and he was so confident in everything he did that he must be doing it all right.

Besides, after everything, if you refused him, you’d have only been leading him on and using him for his kindness, even if you didn’t realise what you were doing. Because what you did know was that he was a man and you were a woman and that he was doing nice things for you. And you accepted them all. The least you could do was bide his affection. That was the age old exchange, was it not?

“Next week, we’ll review chapters five and six,” the professor’s tone piqued as his ramble subsided, “I expect a class discussion and you can expect ten percent of your mark to be evaluated from your contribution and I will know if you just ‘skimmed’ the introduction.’

The class grumbled as he dismissed you and you stood slowly, stretching the cramp from your leg. You packed up your bag and hauled it on your shoulder. You had a gap between that class and your afternoon publishing class. You trailed out behind the flow of chattering students but found many of them lowered their voices as they came out into the hall.

There voices fell to whispers as they entered the hall. The sight of a brown hat assured you of the reason. Sheriff Bodecker stood against the painted brick and watched the students pass by, each eyeing him nervously and some chuckling under their breaths nervously. You tried to hide behind a taller student but your name tripped you up.

Despite your efforts to maintain your invisibility, he’d spotted you and you knew you could run away. Several of your peers craned around to watch you, no doubt suspecting some trouble on your part. You dragged your feet and stepped out of the tide of fleeing co-eds to stand along the wall with Lee.

“Hi,” you said quietly.

“Young lady,” he said staunchly and kept his eyes on the other students, nodding at them darkly as they passed.

He waited until the hall was empty before he turned on you. You fidgeted and caught your bag as it slipped from your shoulder. Your thoughts wrinkled above your brow and you stared at his brown leather shoes.

“How did you… find me here?”

He was silent as he reached in his jacket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. He opened it and showed you a print-out of your schedule.

“Easy enough,” he tapped his badge nonchalantly, “I was worried. You didn’t answer last night.”

“I fell asleep early,” you said weakly, “morning lecture, you know?”

“Mmm,” he hummed, “not that early.”

“I’m sorry, I was sleep--”

“You’re no good at lying and I don’t like you telling me fibs,” he growled, “you playin’ around with me, honey.”

“No, I…” you blinked as he folded the paper back into his pocket and pushed his jacket back to settle his hand on his pistol.

“Did you forget who I am? What I am?” he arched a brow darkly.

“N-No, sir, I… I got schoolwork and--”

“You can’t stop and talk to me for ten minutes?” he challenged, “you hurt me, honey. I’m out on patrol all night, in danger, and the only thing I got to look forward to is hearing your sweet voice.”

“I, um, I… er, I’m confused,” you eked out, “I don’t know… I…”

“Honey,” he leaned in and his hot breath glossed over you as he lowered his voice, “you know what this is, we both know what a bad girl you were on Saturday.”

“I didn’t…” you swallowed and choked on your voice, “I gotta go to the library--”

You tried to turn away but were pulled back by his tight grip on your arm. He forced you against the wall and knocked the wind from you as your bag tumbled from your arm. You gasped and stared up at him in fright. In that moment, he seemed bigger than ever; taller, thicker, and strong as hell. Stronger than you for sure.

“You don’t go nowhere ‘less I say you do,” his other hand shifted on his gun, “you got me?”

“What are you-- I didn’t… why are you being mean?”

“Me? Honey pie, you been avoiding me and I’m mean?” he snarled.

“I wasn’t avoiding you, I’m just... busy,” you whimpered as he squeezed your arm so tight it throbbed, “you’re hurting me.”

“You’re hurting me,” he hissed, “you think I got time to be comin’ down here on duty to find you?”

“You didn’t have to--”

“I did,” he barked, “I had to make sure you weren’t hussyin’ around with any other boys, like I found you last week.”

“I told you, that wasn’t--”

“Shhhhh,” his hand flew to your chin and forced your mouth shut, “I don’t got the time for this, honey. I’ll be around tonight and you’ll wear a pretty dress for me, won’t you?”

You clenched your jaw and nodded stiffly as his thumb toyed with your lip. He smiled and the tension left his grasp.

“Good girl,” he drew away and squared his shoulders, “you be ready at six and don’t keep me waitin’ again.”

“Yes, sir,” you croaked.

“Mmm,” he nodded with a smirk, “you know, I think I do prefer ‘sir’.” He bent and kissed your lips before you could turn away. You let him and he stood straight again and adjusted his belt, “six o’clock, honey pie.”

#lee bodecker #dark lee bodecker #dark!lee bodecker #lee bodecker x reader #fic #series #dark fic #dark!fic #laisse tomber les filles #the devil all the time #college au #au

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crimsonophelia · 4 years ago

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hi! could i request for an imagine involving childe and a gn reader? the reader is childe’s longtime childhood friend who’s more or less been in love with him since they were young—and they document the extent of their feelings in a diary (complete with embarrassingly detailed paragraphs planning out theirs and childe’s wedding, gushing over every little thing about him, incidents where they felt petty and jealous over childe showing interest in someone else, etc etc.) that they accidentally end up mailing to childe in liyue thinking it was the book they bought him as a gift.

when they realize the mix-up, they try to make a run for the post office to stop it from being sent to him, but it’s no use—it’s already been shipped out and sent off. how childe ends up responding, doing, or reacting is completely up to you! (i apologize if this request was a little long aha; i hope you have a wonderful day!)

featuring: childe x gn!reader

warnings: none

published: april 22 2021

form: imagine

a/n: thank you for requesting!! this is so cute~~ i love wholesome, bashful childe www

you couldn’t believe it. oh my god, you were such a huge, fucking idiot. how could you have gotten the letters mixed up with the bank documents??? the whole point of keeping your ridiculously embarrassing letters to tartaglia separate from the rest of your documents was just so something like THIS could never happen!

the eleventh fatui harbinger had requested a few copies of official documents from northland bank to help zhongli with some funeral parlor legal paperwork, and you happily obliged, jumping at the opportunity to be of help to the boy you’ve admired for so long.

but for some reason, you were feeling particularly airheaded today. the night before, you had written yet another “letter” to tartaglia in your diary, much like the countless other sheets of paper clipped together, filled with endless words of yearning that will never be read by their intended recipient. you wrote:

“my dearest ajax,

i hope life as a harbinger is going well. i quite miss when we were back in snezhnaya as children, but i suppose i should thank celestia that fate brought us back together in liyue. i still cant help but to miss you each and every day, though. it feels like its been so long since we last got together and talked. i remember last time we had an actual conversation was at wangshu inn— was it three, no, four months ago? i cant quite recall. you looked so lovely, as usual. your smile never fails to make me laugh, especially with that one crooked tooth. i still love to bully you about that, you know. hopefully we can meet again soon, sincerely. im tired of being just friends, tartaglia. not when you look at me like that, and not when you always love to put your arm around my shoulder and pull me in to you every time we meet. i dont know how you feel about me—sometimes it appears as if you might feel the same, though i can never be sure. but i digress. life is rather lonely without you, and yet i manage to get by, somehow.

always yours,

[y/n]”

you tucked the letter amidst the stack of all the others, confident that they would never see the light of day. but somehow, somehow, your foolish, sleep-deprived brain mixed the letters in between the documents from the bank, and now tartaglia would know everything. all your foolish musings over the years, fawning over his rogueish charm like a child, yearning for your friend with such humiliating naïveté. this cannot happen. you have to get to him before the mail can, somehow. he was currently staying at an inn nearby the funeral parlor—there’s gotta be a way to be quicker than the mail deliverer.

you hurried out of your office and hailed the first rickshaw you see lined up on the street, and ordered him to drive you to the inn, as soon as humanly possible.

upon arrival, you leapt out of the seat, tossing an indiscriminately large fare at the driver before stumbling onto the sidewalk, almost dropping your things. slamming open the door to the inn, you reach the front counter. asking breathlessly, “which room is mr. tartaglia staying in?”, you hurry to the room the doorman indicates to be the fatui’s residence.

but before you get the chance to even look for the room, you turn the corner and slam into a taller body. to your dismay, you look up and see the face of a shocked tartaglia looking down at you, a stack of papers tucked under his arm. shit.

shit shit shit. this cannot be happening right now. maybe he hasn’t read the letters yet? slim chance, though—he’s always been nosy.

“[y/n]...” Childe looked at you with a pained glint in his eyes. he reached out for your arm with his free hand.

ah. so he knew.

you tried to jerk away, feeling your cheeks heat up with embarassment and the pressure that always comes before tears. things are never going to be the same again. all because of my stupidity.

you felt yourself colliding with the wall of tartaglia’s chest again, as he abruptly dropped all he was holding. a pair of arms wrapped themselves assuredly around your waist, so familiar, yet so foreign. not able to hold yourself together for any longer, you let yourself go, crying into tartaglia’s chest, your voice racked with harsh, humiliating, childish sobs.

“why did you hide it from me for so long?” you felt tartaglia whisper into your hair, his breath grazing your scalp. his warmth was so delicious, something youve been craving for so long finally being satiated.

looking up, his usual charming smirk was much more sad, almost guilt-ridden. “i care about you so much [y/n]. you know you can tell me anything, right?”

gasping for air, you felt so ashamed for making such a scene in front of him. “i was so scared, ajax. scared that i would drag you down, or scared you would leave me behind.” you couldn’t bear to meet the pained gaze of the boy yoy so hopelessly fell in love with.

his rough hand smoothed over your hair, comforting you like he used to, back when you two were children in snezhnaya. drawing you effortlessly closer towards him, until you felt his lips plant a chaste kiss upon your forehead.

“you know i love you, [y/n], don’t you? i always have and i always will.”

you clung on to him tighter, fearing what the world might return to if you ever let go. you couldn’t let him slip through your fingers, not again.

“i don’t want you to suffer because of me anymore, my dear.”

a/n: to clarify YES THIS IS A HAPPY ENDING READER AND CHILDE GET TOGETHER i just didnt wanna go any further and do a complete 180 on the tone lolol i hope this is okay!!

#childe x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #childe headcanons #childe imagines #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia headcanons #genshin childe #genshin impact childe #childe fanfic #childe fic #when will i stop writing angst

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munsnz · 3 years ago

Text

TRICKS OF LIFE— STEVE HARRINGTON

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐯. — 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐔𝐬

overview: School is finally done, yet feeling off in the situation itself. The familiar boys including, Mike, Dustin, and Lucas get in contact with her to persuasion to investigate further information on the disappearance while Y/N works as an intern at the police department.

Taglist! — @itsnottilly

Navigation — Mixtape

Who knew that the day had gone like a blur, drifting off to classes and sessions, now Y/N was outside in the busy Hawkins High parking lot. From people driving away to their destinations to the freshmen walking off into the distance. Everything had been subtly normal, except for Y/N who had been aware of the odd disappearance of Will Byers. As she stood beyond the perimeter of the entrance, a few farewells were exchanged from Nancy, walking back to the Wheeler’s residence, three familiar boys biking nearby her. It had appeared that the specific, Mike Wheeler, Lucas Sinclair, and Dustin Henderson were approaching her in the buzzing lot. Quick waves and greetings, they all said hello along with the purpose of the trip.

”Little Hop!” The shouts from upfront were called for, the boys circling their way around her, Mike pushing the brakes next to the dumbfounded girl, standing awkwardly, “There’s something that went on-“

“I know, Will’s missing,” Y/N lifted her arms from her side, sighing loudly, the boys still catching their breath from the troubling trip to the high school, “There’s nothing we can do about it!”

Mike stood up abruptly, steadying his bike along with Lucas and Dustin, clearing his throat, “Yes we can! You’re an intern at the police department.”

The three middle schoolers stood quietly, in hopes of her agreeing with their statement of finding their lost friend. Y/N had always been on their side, ever since she met them, they were the troublemaking group of kids, buzzing around the town creating rumbles. Surprisingly, she frowned, looking off into the open, “Sorry, but from what my dad said, I’m afraid I can’t help this time. I was told not to investigate at a certain point.”

“Why not? You’ve always helped us,” Dustin began, walking next to her, strolling his bike as well, “You want the best for us right?”

“I do, but...... I need to listen to them.”

Lucas turned to Y/N who silently watched them, “There’s gotta be a reason though! Will is our friend, he’s missing. What if something happened to him?”

“That’s the police’s deal, not mine!” Y/N snapped at them who flinched at the odd action taken by her. Irritated, she looked to the distance, watching a group of boys around her age make these obnoxiously loud noises from afar.

Hearing the cryptic response, all of their jaws dropped, Y/N’s never acted so.......stern, bland, stubborn, like ever. Their expressions dim, surprised at hearing the prolonged answer they’ve never thought would turn up out of Y/N’s mouth. Frantically grabbing the bikes from the side, getting ready to pedal back home, Mike subtly shifted his glance towards the blank Y/N, waiting for them to leave, saying, “Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You’re supposed to be on our side.”

”I’m just listening to what they’re saying,” Y/N crosses her arms due to the frigid weather outside, prepared to be able to walk home. Watching their saddened faces gloom in the outside, Y/N felt this other urge of guilt; why was she acting up so much already? Will was her main priority, so why wasn’t she helping them? What if Will was in grave danger? Why was she being so ignorant?

As thoughts flood her head, bringing this awful feeling, not being able of what to do, she quickly places a comforting yet rapid hand onto Mike’s shoulder, catching him off guard, “Okay, it may seem as if I’m the bad guy, but at least I’ll try my best. I’ll let you know what goes on in the office, but under one condition, you guys cannot go investigate at all. Do you understand?”

Smiles brightening up, they rapidly nodded, a sense of relief that they’re going to be able to find Will sooner or later thanks to the girl’s help of her working as an intern to the most reliable place in search of safety of their friend. Happily, the boys rushed close up to Y/N, express their’s gratitude for her for the decision she made after the fulfilling thoughts convincing her instinct. After exchanging the thanks you’s and farewells, they biked away, in hopes of a successful retrieve of Will Byers. Y/N waved confidently as the rest biked away into the occupied sidewalks of students, a feeling of courage and determination swelling to her, walking away from the school premises to the Hawkins Police Department.

Maybe it was one of the longest walks Y/N had ever taken, and believe it or not, it was the shortcut to the center of the town where most residents would be, to walking and driving around the oddly empty area. After nearing herself to the familiar building, broadly directing the suitable location she was currently in, the police department. It was eerie since as predicted, almost all officers were in search of the Byers boy, maybe a few people coming out of the building, the sound of the car engines from behind, bringing her back to the present beyond thinking of different ways to gather resourceful information about the disappearance to satisfy her curious middle school friends.

It had been almost a year since Y/N got the job as an intern thanks to her extraordinary talent of persuasion for her dad, knowing that the department could use an extra hand for the little tasks. To top it off, she had also been passionate about following Jim’s footsteps in law enforcement, wanting to be an aspiring detective shortly.

Gallantly walking inside to find the ringing of phone calls and faint clicks coming from the rickety typewriter in the unoccupied office, the girl awkwardly walked inside the warm room, the smell of brunt cigarettes filling the essence, to find Florence, or as known, Flo organizing a few papers in the oddly organized desk.

“Hey Flo,” Y/N shuffled her feet, meeting her eyes with the woman, signaling her to come closer by the wooden table. In the quiet aura, more sound of the papers, making her eyes shift from side to side, trying to recognize files, names, dates containing in them.

Following the quiet mumbles of distress, the girl gets up, in prospers of ruling a kind act towards Flo who had seemed wildly stressed in whatever deal she was in, to trot by the counter, finding the area of the usual coffee stand. Y/N gently pours in the hot pot of water in the porcelain cup, later adding a spoonful of the instant coffee mix, stirring it to when it blended evenly, as her mind filled with phrases or questions for any information about Will had been released.

At last, Y/N cleared her throat watching behind her to see the frazzled woman as she allowed the light gush of vanilla creamer into the dull substance inside the mug. She places her hand on her chin, leaning against the counter to watch the heavy fluid smoothly blend with the dark-shaded one, a satisfying view to one.

“Have you seen Victor anywhere?!” A familiar perky voice chirped tensely behind Y/N, disassociating her from the soothing visual upon her.

As the girl shook her head in response, she gripped onto the filled mug, placing it on the top of the surface, bringing a piece of sweet bread along with a napkin for herself. Given a seat on the thick cushion, she pushed the mug towards Flo, “I saw him in Chemistry, but I don’t think he came into the office. But here’s coffee to relieve the stress.”

Continuing, placing the papers around the desk, Flo solemnly smiled, accepting the hot drink, “Thank you, dear, that silly boy is probably wandering around with others. Kids these days and their irresponsibilities.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” Y/N takes a bite from the bread, hearing the lady with glasses mumble nonsense about the theory of how pop culture influenced the younger generation of teenagers, turning them into rebels.

Seemingly, Y/N tried in the most awkward moment to speak up about Will, after the tense conversation Flo was having with herself, multitasking in filing papers, clearing her throat, “What happened to Will?”

“Will?” In a millisecond, the big-eyed woman shifted her glance upwards to get a glimpse of the girl who had a worrisome look on her face, raising her eyebrows a little, “Will Byers right? The missing boy?”

Y/N confidentially nodded, biting her bottom lip for an answer, her hands coming together, “Yeah, my dad came in a few hours ago at school to ask me where he was last seen.”

”Oh, yeah,” Flo’s eyebrows furrow, trying to recall any updates on the search for the boy, she clicks her tongue, adjusting her seat, “Well, from what Jim told me, they recently found the boy’s bike in the woods near the dead-end near Mirkwood.”

”The woods?” The girl’s E/C colored eyes widened, feeling that same sick sensation in her stomach, something bad could’ve happened to Will. But shaking the thoughts away, she mentally took notes from the location, for her fellow friends, “Anything else? I’m just really worried about him.”

Scrunching her face, Flo leaned closer to the girl’s face who pawned over any conclusions made, with a hushed tone, “Just between us, I think it was Lonnie, the boy’s dad who probably took him.”

“I don’t think so I mean something else could’ve happened,” Y/N shrugs, speechless of the comment made, but also being in complete denial of that accusation made so quickly.

Suddenly she was cut off with a voice from the ham radio, making it impossible to hear the communication clearly on the side counter. As Y/N rolled her eyes in annoyance, she stood up from the chair, tuning the frequency higher enough to hear better to listen to the chief’s deep voice, “Flo are you there? Hello?”

”Oh yes it’s me, Florence!” The female teenager mimicked sarcastically through the radio, overhearing her father groan deeply, the sound of the background being able to be caught on the machine.

Hopper chuckles a little, earning a small grin on his daughter’s face while she slides back down on the comfortable chair, “Yeah very funny kid, you should be on Carson one day.”

”I know right? So what’s up Big Hop!”

Toning down his voice to be grouchier like before, he ordered sternly, “Well, tell Flo to organize a search party right by Mirkwood around 7 o’clock.”

”Wait a search party?” Y/N’s happy tone faded away, unsettling her, as she anxiously twirling her finger onto the radio chord connecting to the main machine, “Is this seriously? Can I come? What if-“

Another interruption. Sheesh, whoever let this girl talk in peace? Oh right the brunette with oval glasses who rushed inside to throw his jacket to a rack, quietly mumbling words to himself until he spoke up, “Sorry I’m late, I was caught up with Mr. Benson.”

”About time boy!” Flo glares at the slender, lanky teenager, clapping her hands up in the air to make a racket, “You airhead, we called you an hour ago, it’s irresponsibility! You’re going to get nowhere with that commitment of yours Victor.”

Victor’s mouth hung open at the tactless observation from the audacious lady, raising his eyebrows, he barked back, “Yeah but you didn’t hear the part where I was clearly at school!”

”No you were probably being some hobo on the streets-“

”Can you two just shut up!” Y/N shouted, waving her arms in the air to signal them to keep it down, later focusing her attention back to the stereo, “Jesus I cannot keep up with them.”

Scoffs being heard on the other line, Hopper responds with a jokingly tone, “My exact thoughts when you ramble about everything. Now, let the Hawkins paper know about the search party being held later a during the evening.”

”Wow, that’s just mean dad,” She rolls over to grab a blue ink ballpoint pen, along with a sheet of lined paper to mark down any important data for the event, chicken scratch letters splayed across the page, “So what else do you need pop?”

”That's about it, but I want the information out as soon as possible for the townsfolk to know, you got that?” Hopper ordered, saluting a goodbye after catching the background noise of Victor and Flo arguing about responsibility in the law world for future reference.

Y/N quickly scribbled on the last of the dictation from her father, leaving the radio back to its default position near the main machine, sliding the paper in front of Flo who was near threatening to hit Spencer with a telephone, “You guys seriously need to act mature enough.”

”Excuse me? I’m a fifty-year-old woman teaching a scrawny boy how to behave and not to talk back to adults!” She huffs, throwing herself back onto the chair belonging to the desk, squinting her eyes to look at the writing for directions, “Your handwriting needs work dear. But Victor needs to call the Hawkins Post or announce it somewhere and do something for good.”

Rolling his dark eyes, Victor snatches the flattened paper off the lady’s hands, walking towards the office phone calling in regards to the additional details to the post. Meanwhile, Y/N slouches on the chair, her jacket crinkle, reading a few files based on last week’s headlines, “Can I help to search for Will?”

”Can I come too?” Victor calls out from the corner, waving a hand in the air, suddenly getting caught off guard by the other person on the phone line and getting back into the conversation after dozing off, mumbling, “I’m sorry it was just a colleague of mine talking to me about the investigation.”

Time was dozing off until Flo agreed to let the two teenagers come along for the search party, organizing and setting out a clean stack of papers in front of Y/N, “Now stop your unproductive babbling and sort these out to keep them in storage.”

”Yes ma'am,” Y/N uttered calmly, still feeling proud and occupied due to her letting Dustin and the rest know this semi-confidential for the search of their friend. Now were they all going to be lucky and find success in finding Will in safety on this night, or are there many more occurrences to come?

#Steve Harrington #steve Harrington x reader #steve Harrington fanfic #steve harrington series #Steve Harrington fanfiction #Steve Harrington x Hopper reader #Stranger things #stranger things x reader #Stranger things Fanfiction #Steve Harrington angst #Steve Harrington fluff #Steve Harrington smut #Steve Harrington fanfic navigation #Steve Harrington x you #Jopper #dnd

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falloutjay · 3 years ago

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Christophe x childhood friend reader x Kenny, Christophe, Gregory and reader have been friends since gradeschool. Reader was a very emotional person who cared about everyone. She was very sweet yet still helped the boys assassinating people. Reader had always had an obvious crush on Christophe but she never seems get to an direct answer and it really starts to bum her out. So she starts trying to stop showing her feelings to him. It worries people because she starts being more quieter than her normal self. When asked, all she can say ' I just realized that there's something I could never have' and nothing else. It's until reader's parents (who are bakers) get a job opportunity in a town named South Park. It's a very awkward goodbye (with Christophe, it's sad af with Gregory) and she leaves.

As if a switch was pulled, reader goes back to being a sweet and emotional girl (much to her parents delight/relief). We makes lot of new friends and gets a new crush too, Kenny McCormick. She's shy around him at first, much to her friends: Bebe, Wendy, and Nicole's confusion. She confides in them and tells her past troubles with love. They comfort her and tell that it's sure to be different. So reader lightens up around Kenny and they begin a beautiful relationship.

Yet we hit a rough patch when Kenny's womanizing way Catches up with him (Kelly, Tammy, etc) so we naturally get defensive (not to how we were with Christophe but still pretty strained). But worry not, reader (and her friends) win their class a trip to London (they sold 7,777 cookies!!!). Reader is nervous but doesn't stress to hard, it's not like Christophe is still leaving there right? Well after settling into their hotel, Reader and Gregory run into each other and have a heartfelt reunion then reader reunites with Christophe and it's really awkward. So Gregory and Christophe decide to join them on their trip, but something wrong. Christophe seems a lot more open with reader, which confuses reader and Kenny, having connected the dots, tries keeping reader for himself. And poor reader's in a blushy confusing emotional spiral.

I had such a blast writing this. Writing Christophe is mad fun.

Btw, I implied that the events of the movie never happened here, so Wendy and the others never met Gregory or Christophe.

Kenny and Christophe are also pretty mean girls basically but I loved it so much, I couldn't help myself. ^^

(EXCUSE MY BAD FRENCH; IT HAS BEEN YEARS SINCE MY LAST FRENCH LESSONS AND I WAS PRETTY BAD AT IT)

Warnings: Kenny and Christophe are a little OOC I think, swearing, French, Bad French.

____________________________

Christophe x Childhood friend!Reader x Kenny

You hummed as you waited for your best friends in the whole wide world. You had prepared a nice little lunch with self-made sandwiches, lemonade, and brownies.

Your excitement went through the roof, once you heard the door to your secret hideout open. Gregory was the first to come in. “Ah, Y/N, what a lovely surprise!” He said gleamingly and admired the beautifully set table. He put down his backpack and as he did so, your longtime crush strolled in. Cigarette in mouth, dirty all over him and an annoyed expression painted on his face, Christophe.

“Hey, how was the job?” You asked sweetly, as Gregory sat down, and Christophe did so too after a short hesitation. “It went well unti-” “Until zat fucking dumb kid made the wrong zound and made me mess up the whole time plan. Why does no one know what a dying giraffe sounds like?” He ranted, hands moving around hastily, while you and Gregory chuckled. “It’s not funny!” The dark-haired protested while he lit his cigarette. You just smiled.

Despite Christophe’s mean demeanor, you had a huge soft spot for him. “Hey, Christophe?” You asked, demanding his attention, which he gave you, while also taking a bite of a sandwich. “Would you maybe like to hang out sometime?” Gregory pretended to not exist and focused on the suddenly very interesting drink in his hand. He knew you liked their friend. But he also knew Christophe better than anyone else. And the blond knew this couldn’t end well.

“Ah, excuse moi, mais…I just don’t have the time currently.” You nodded, trying your best to not show how disappointed you were. It pained Gregory to see you like this. He loved you like a sister and seeing how Christophe was constantly breaking your little heart made him sad.

To his demise, you only grew quieter with time. When Gregory pressed you on the matter, asking what’s wrong, all you managed to mumble was: “I guess… I just realized that there's something I could never have”. It made him worry. You were such a sweet girl but recently you had become a husk of yourself and today was no different.

They had just come back from another job but this time you didn’t even greet them, just passed the folders in which you listed the new jobs they could take. “Here. I am afraid I have some bad news though.” You mumbled as you pressed the papers in their hands. Gregory looked at you with worry on his face. “What’s wrong, dear?” He asked and noticed how close you were to crying.

“My parents got a really good job over in Colorado. We will move next week.” You mumbled. Gregory threw the papers across the room, before storming to hug you. You held him close, feeling sad, that you would never again drink tea with your favorite English gentleman, and that deeply saddened you.

Your eyes wandered over to Christophe, who looked somewhat sad but made no move to express this. “I can't believe it. You’re THE most important part of this organization and you will be gone by next week?! Who is gonna help me with all the papers?” Gregory held you so close, you almost had trouble breathing.

“I gotta go early today since I have to start packing. I will miss you two so much.” You said, not being able to stop the tears from flowing down your cheeks. “Yeah, sure, take your time. If you need any help, you know you can always count on me.” Gregory said, finally letting go of you. You nodded and walked up to Christophe.

“I guess that’s it huh?” You muttered. “Oui. You will be a great loss to zis organization.” Awkwardly you nodded. Was this really everything he had to say? You didn’t see Gregory in the background, wildly gesticulating for him to say more. The dark-haired raised an eyebrow until he finally got what his partner tried to say.

“We will miss you.” He thought this was a perfectly fine answer, but didn’t catch how much that hurt you. “Yeah, me you too.” You said and walked towards the exit. “See you guys!” You called out before you vanished.

“Great job making her feel like shit.” “What waz I supposed to say?”

“My God, Y/N, you have been here for over half a year now! Just tell him already!” Bebe commented and you blushed profusely. “N-no! He doesn’t even like me that much!” You protested, your cheeks colored in a deep red. “There is no point in denying sweetheart. You both are head over heels for each other. Trust me, Stan told me how much Kenny talks about you.” Wendy reassured you. She pointed with her fork over to the table the boys were seated on and sure enough, the blond boy you were talking about was looking over, waving even when he spotted you looking at him. You shyly waved back, before hiding in your sweater.

“Okay, Y/N, what the fuck happened when you lived in England? I can’t imagine you always behave like this around someone you like.” Nicole looked sternly at you, and you let out a deep sigh. “Well, fine, yeah, there was a guy before Kenny that I liked.”

The girls all pushed their food trays to the side, to stick their heads closer together. “In England, I was close friends with two guys.” “Ohh, a three-way?” “Bebe!” Wendy hissed before they let you continue. “They are assassins and I helped them with everything behind the scenes, like contacting clients, paperwork, and all that. Gregory was my best friend, and the other guy is a French, god-hating, foul-mouthed idiot named Christophe. And I really had a thing for him, but he was always super cold and just not that interested in me.” You rambled and the girls listened attentively. “Okay, okay, Y/N, hear me out on this one…” Bebe began, and you looked at her. “Have you maybe thought about the fact that that Christophe guy was just an idiot? You’re great and Kenny sooo has a thing for you. Just go for it!” Nicole and Wendy nodded. “Yeah, you gotta make new experiences, real experiences.” Nicole agreed and Wendy gave it a thumbs up.

Before they could talk any further, you felt a tap on your shoulder and turned around. Kenny stood there, smiling warmly. “Hey, Y/n, I just wanted to ask if you maybe wanna go to the mall with me on Saturday and maybe get a smoothie or something?” You felt your face heat up and heard the girls squeal quietly. You nodded. “Yeah, that would great!” You answered and he shot you a flashy smile. “Great. I’ll come to pick you up, yeah?” You nodded excitingly and he walked back to the boy’s table. “Ahh, you got a date!” Nicole beamed and so did the other two. A big smile was glued to your face, and you only managed to nod. “We will so come over on Friday and get you ready! Girls’ night!” Bebe planed and you happily agreed.

Being with Kenny was great. He was loving, always looked out for you, loved listening to you, and yet, you hated his guts just now. You wanted to strangle those stupid sluts that constantly clung to his side like their life depended on it. Yeah, you knew Tammy and he had history, as did Kelly, but did he really have to talk to them that much? Didn’t he see how much you hated it? “Hey, babe!” He whispered into your ear, and you moved away. “Hey, Kenny.” You said coldly. You waited for Mister Garrison to finally let you in the hotel. You and the girls managed to win the school competition for a trip to London, by selling 7,777 packages of cookies, totally legally, by the way, nothing to see here, so now your class was in London and after you sat with the girls in the bus Kenny had sneaked up to you. You were kind of nervous, fearing that you could maybe run into…him… but there was no chance he still lives here, right? Right?

You didn’t know why, but since Kenny had started to talk to his bitches, as you called them, again you distanced yourself from him. You were afraid of being hurt again, so distancing yourself was an automatic reaction.

Once you got settled in your room, the girls proposed discovering the town, since you guys had no events for the day. You happily greed and once in the corridor, you spotted Stans gang down the hall. Wendy asked them to join, much to your demise. You wanted girl time, not being secretly annoyed with Kenny time.

You, Wendy, Bebe, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny wandered the streets, taking in the new scenery. “It’s pretty nice here, isn’t it?” Wendy asked as she put the sweets she bought in her bag. “Yeah!” You agreed and sipped on the tea you ordered.

You guys had sat down at a café to just watch the bussing streets and enjoy some British tea. Kyle was talking to Stan about Cartman, and what prank they’d play on him tonight. Kenny was chatting with Bebe and Wendy about Tammy and Kelly, much to your demise and you just looked around. Your eyes wandered and you watched the other patrons when you stopped at a familiar seeming one. Your mouth was agape, there’s no way your eyes weren’t tricking you right now?!

The in leather gloved hands, the orange button-up shirt, that thick golden hair… A book rested in his left hand, while the other held the tea with an extended pinky. It was him. Gregory. He must have noticed you staring as he looked up and recognized you as well. A big smile appeared on his face, and he quickly put the book in his leather messenger bag. You got up, ignoring the questions from the others, while you ran into Gregory’s extended arms.

“Y/N my dear! I would have never guessed to see you again!” Gregory proclaimed, spinning you around. Neither of you cared that everyone was watching. “I’m so happy to see you. It has been ages!” You mumbled, still hugging your long-lost friend tightly. You only lost contact because you lost your phone during the move, so you had no way of contacting them. Before you two could talk, Kenny appeared by your side.

“Hey, babe, who is this guy?” He asked and as you turned around you saw the questioning looks of everyone. “Oh sorry. Guys, this is my old friend Gregory, we have been friends since we were little. Gregory, these are my friends from America, Wendy, Bebe, Kyle, Stan, and my boyfriend Kenny.”

Gregory properly introduced himself and moved to sit with you guys. He talked with your new friends, and you immediately saw how Wendy and Bebe hung to his lips. You understood that. Gregory was a really good-looking young man by now. You chuckled when you spotted how jealous Stan became with each passing second. Soon Gregory’s phone rang, and he excused himself to take the call.

“Oh my god! That’s the Gregory, you told us about, Y/N? Why did you hide that he’s a British snack!” Bebe exclaimed and you chuckled. Soon Gregory sat back down and that devious smile on his lips made you wonder.

“Ze Mole is coming.” He just said, knowing you wanted to question his smile. You felt the blood in your veins freeze for a second.

“He is still here?” You asked and Gregory nodded. “Why wouldn’t he? We kept the organization running. And there is always a spot for you if you ever want to come back.” The blond spotted the longing in your eyes at an instant. Kenny watched it happening quietly, carefully watching you. Soon enough, a certain someone arrived, pulling another chair to your table, and sitting on it backward, so that he was leaning on the backrest.

Your heart was beating like you had just run a marathon as you inspected every detail about him. His dark messy hair was roughly still the same and his trademark cigarette his only accessory. The tight-fitting dark green shirt fit him perfectly you thought and the tactical belt around his torso was still there. He also still wore fingerless gloves. The two really didn’t change much, apart from becoming older.

“Well, Christophe, these are Y/Ns friends from America.” Gregory introduced them and the dark-haired male lazily gifted him a wave. Wendy and Bebe noticed how you were obviously checking him out and laughed.

“I see you got a thing for baddies.” Bebe whispered into your ear, and you wanted to protest, but got interrupted by Stan.

“Well, I like this sort of reunion, but don’t wanna want to continue or sightseeing?” Gregory smiled warmly, as he offered to play tour guide for you. Your friends happily agreed to his proposition, feeling glad to have a real British tour guide. So, you guys paid for your orders and started walking.

To your surprise, instead of walking up front with Gregory, Christophe walked next to you, eyeing you curiously. “It’s nice to ze you again, mon chéri.” He said you felt your face heat up. Did he seriously just call you that? Did he actually say he’s happy to see you again?

“Well, it has been a while, hasn’t it?” You mumbled and Christophe had a pleasant smile resting on his face. That was a new thing, you thought. While Christophe walked next to you on your right, Kenny was on your left and eyeing the French with jealous eyes. He was an expert at reading people and he spotted Christophe’s attraction to HIS girlfriend miles go and he wasn’t blind to your body language either. You two had history. That much was clear.

Gregory led the group down to a nice spot near the riverbanks of the Thames where the girls took pictures together. Kyle and Gregory switched taking the group photos, while Kenny stood next to Christophe, both looking at the others.

Everyone felt the obvious tension between the two. “Don’t even think about, frog eater.” Kenny said, which made Christophe chuckle.

“Ahh, you Américains are so funny. You think everything belongs to you, when in reality she was already mine, once I sat down at ze table.” Christophe took the last puff of his cigarette, before stomping on it on the ground. Kenny averted his gaze and looked at his newfound rival.

“Yours?” He questioned but didn’t Christoph didn’t reward him with an answer. He only chuckled and put a new unlit cigarette in his mouth.

“Écoutez-Vous. You sound so funny.” The girl the two were fighting about returned with Bebe and Wendy and they all obviously felt the tension between the two.

“Ken, come over. Group pics!” Kyle called out to him and somewhat annoyed, Kenny jogged over. So you and your two friends were left with the French man.

“I just wanted to say, you look formidable, ma briquette.” Wendy and Bebe quietly squealed, as Christoph took your hand to press a kiss on your knuckles. You blushed a deep red. What had happened to him? He never behaved like that, but you couldn’t deny how he made your knees weak.

“Hey, Hey, Hey!” Kenny called out and quickly came stomping back. “I just told you to back off.” Kenny said. “Ah sorry, my English is pretty bad, I must have misunderstood.” Christophe shrugged. Kenny wrapped his arms around you and held you close.

“I’ll fuck you up if you don’t keep yourself in check.” Kenny spat and you broke free of his forced hug. “Ken, what the hell?” You questioned his sudden aggression, but you were quickly shoved away by Christophe, who now got all up in Kenny’s face.

“Oh, zen pray to whatever hate-filled God you believe in, and I hope for you he’z real because nothing will be as real as your fucked up face once I am done.” “Oh, I don’t believe in Gods. Not when I already know what hell looks like and so will you when I get started.”There was no point in denying that you, Wendy, and Bebe were super interested in this showdown. It was interesting to see two guys who were obviously fighting over you get so riled up.

Bebe leaned over and whispered: “Damn Y/N, you really got the hot guys fighting over you.” You had a faint pink tone on your cheeks. The two guys you liked were ready to basically kill each other over you. It was kind of flattering. Stan and Kyle tried getting the two to calm down, but to no avail, as they just kept going with their petty insults.

Gregory walked up next to you, leaning down to talk. “You are the only one who can get them to stop, you know that right?” He questioned.

“Yeah. But you must admit, this is kinda entertaining.” He laughed and nodded. “You’re right.” “Give me a minute Gregory. I never had someone fight for me.” You whispered with a hot face, watching as Kyle and Stan tried to pull the two away from each other.

Your heart was confused, seeing Christophe again and how he now behaved towards you awakened feelings you thought weren’t there anymore, but you also loved how Kenny was ready to fight for you. How could anyone not find this super interesting?

#south park x reader #christophe x reader

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qlala · 3 years ago

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pleeease can we have more teacher barry au? or kidfic? my crops are dying

Alright, sorry for the slight delay on this one, but please know that you're a menace and I kept thinking about it and then I wrote this for you all in one sitting.

It's both teacher!Barry (though still set in the canon universe!) and coldflash kidfic. <3 I just put it up as a prequel to "good cop, bad cop" on ao3, since I guess it technically is that? Although, if you guys have opinions about what order the series should be in, I'd interested to hear it!

“Barry?”

“Hm?”

“You’ve got something in your hair.”

Barry hid a wry grin, and glanced over at Len—at least, glanced as far in his direction as he could manage. Two small hands were holding his head still, though Henry did let go of one handful of Barry’s hair to reach out when Len stepped around the coffee table and stood in front of them.

“Alright, kid.” Len bent down and hoisted Henry off Barry’s shoulders, and both of them ignored Barry’s indignant yelp when Henry didn’t quite remember to let go of Barry with his other hand in time. “I like the hair too, but he’s gotta move his head to”—Len propped Henry on his hip and reached out to steal the top page from the stack of papers in front of Barry—“grade pop quizzes.”

“Those are midterms.” Barry stretched, then tipped his head to one side with a muffled crack.

“Then you’re going easy on them.” Len took advantage of his distraction to hand the paper to Henry, who scrunched it in his hand with a broad smile.

[read on ao3, or continue reading below the cut]

“Len!” Barry recovered the paper in a sweep of yellow lightning, and Len traced his trajectory from the fading after-image even as Barry tried to smooth out the test on the arm of the couch.

“So feet on the coffee table are allowed when the Flash does it?”

“Language,” Barry reminded him, without looking up.

Henry, ever the trooper, was taking the loss of his prize in stride, and Len rewarded him by bending his knees to let him reach for the next paper in the stack.

“Leonard.”

“He’s working on his reading.”

“He’s eighteen months old.”

Len read the upside-down paper Henry was offering to him. “Another year for whoever’s test this was, they might be at his level.”

Barry got the same ruffled look he always did when he was torn between defending his students and agreeing with every hyperbolic praise Len had for their son. Eventually, he landed on, “You’re not helping.”

“I disagree.” Len accepted the paper from Henry, turned it right-side up, and finished skimming it. “You’ve got a typo in question three. That’s why they’re all putting ‘hydrogen.’”

Barry yanked the exam back, despite having a stack of identical ones on the table in front of him. His eyes went wide as he looked over it at Flash speed, and then he said a word that made Len cover one of Henry’s ears with his free hand and tut.

“You shape the minds of the next generation with that mouth?”

Barry wasn’t listening, too busy dragging his hand down his face, his fingers ending up in an annoyed fist over his mouth.

“Can you please,” he said slowly, evenly, with the couples-shrink-approved, conflict-management voice that always made Len smirk, “give Henry his snack.”

“With pleasure.”

Barry leveled him a glare, but it was without heat, and he tilted his chin up in a clear request for a kiss when Len passed behind the couch again.

Len obliged. He could feel some of the stress drain out of Barry’s shoulders when he drew his fingertips over the edge of Barry’s jaw with the hand not still supporting Henry.

“Hi,” Barry murmured when Len pulled back, at least a full minute later than he’d intended. “Missed you.”

“I was gone an hour.”

Barry’s answering smile was crooked, with an unabashed dimple that Len refrained from tracing his thumb over; he had a reputation to protect. “You know, you could just say it back sometimes.”

“Fine.” Len smirked as he tweaked a cowlick that Henry had left in Barry’s hair. Then he met Barry’s gaze, all false sincerity, and drawled, “Hi.”

Barry rolled his eyes. He couldn’t hide the wry smile even when he turned his head away for a second, though, and he gave Len a playful glare. “You know I meant—“

“Hi!”

For a second, neither of them moved. Then Barry reeled back with something like panic in his eyes, alarmingly contagious, based on the way Len’s heart tripped into fourth gear. “Did he just—“

Len hoisted Henry up to sit on the edge of the couch, and they both stared at him. He ignored them both for a few moments, small hand squishing the cushion before he watched it slowly expand back to its original shape. Then he noticed their eyes on him, and looked up with a beatific smile. “Hi!”

Barry was off the couch in a bolt of lightning, then back a heartbeat later with his phone out, talking so fast he was nearly incomprehensible. “Twice, Joe, I swear, he looked right at us—“

Len got a glimpse of Detective West’s patient expression on the phone screen as Barry waved it toward Henry. “Barr, you said that the last three times. I told you, kids talk when they’re ready. Iris didn’t say a word until she was—“

Barry turned the phone and held the screen out to Henry. Len bit back a reflexive objection; they’d agreed, no screens until he was five (and it’d be eighteen if Len had his way).

Henry reached out for the phone, all Barry’s reckless confidence when confronted with anything new.

Tinny over the speakerphone, West’s voice said, weary but unflaggingly affectionate, “Hi, Henry.”

Barry let Henry have the phone—and that time, Len did shoot him a look—and Henry flattened a tiny palm over West’s face on the screen. Then he tilted his head thoughtfully, lifted his hand, and chirped a delighted, “Hi!”

Barry swept him up with a rush of static that made Henry shriek with laughter, phone forgotten in an instant. Barry deposited them both at Len’s side with a breathless grin, and Len didn’t quite manage to disguise his own smile as a smirk when they looked up at him in unison. West’s voice was still coming from somewhere nearby, but Barry could fish the phone out from between the cushions later. For now, Barry was getting suspiciously bright-eyed, and Len lifted Henry out his arms before Barry could set the kid off crying, too.

“Who had ‘hi?’” he asked. He ruffled Henry’s hair, already overdue for a cut, dark and curling up at the ends. Henry only allowed it a moment before he started to fuss, his snack clearly not forgotten despite the excitement.

“Iris,” Barry hiccuped. He wiped the heel of his hand over both cheeks, then said, “She had ‘hi’ and ‘bye.’ She’s gonna be insufferable.”

“She’s gonna be rich,” Len countered. “Mick put ten grand on ‘Flash.’”

Barry shook his head on a laugh. “You did explain to him that we’re specifically not letting people say that in front of him? Given the whole”—he gestured, with a glimmer of lightning that distracted Henry into a fresh smile—”child’s grasp of a secret identity?”

“And deprive the pool of his ill-gotten gains?” He passed Henry back to Barry and tapped him on the tip of his nose. “Never.”

“She’s just gonna put it in a college fund.”

Len hummed, and didn’t mention the account he’d already placed a quarter mil into at the credit union downtown.

Barry’s eyes narrowed all the same. “What was that?”

“What was what, dear?” Len leaned hard on the pet name, flat and sarcastic, but he knew even before Barry straightened up that it wouldn’t work.

“That ‘hmmm.’ That was an I’m-not-telling-you-something ‘hmmm.’”

Len was saved by the bell, literally.

Someone leaned hard on the buzzer to the front door. A second later—and utterly predictably, given the number of metas in the family Len had married into—Wally West phased through the door, bouncing on his toes and looking around the room before he even finished setting Iris on her feet.

“Joe says Iris won,” he said.

Barry tore his suspicious gaze away from Len to blink over at the new arrivals. “Joe knew about the pool?”

“People on six different earths knew about the pool, Barr,” Iris said. She leaned on Wally as she toed out of her work heels. “Now, give me my favorite nephew. Can you say, ‘journalism school,’ Henry?”

Barry let her scoop Henry out of his arms, his brow still furrowed. “Wait, six different earths? How much was in the pool?”

He sounded a hair indignant, and Len took the opportunity to snake an arm around his waist and pull him back against his chest.

“Say the word,” he murmured against Barry’s ear, smiling when he felt him shiver. “I’ll get you triple by dinner.”

He felt Barry’s heart speed up where his back was pressed against him, and Len nipped the shell of his ear to cement his victory.

“No felonies,” Barry reminded him, but his voice was breathless, and he didn’t disentangle himself from Len’s arms.

“Mm, forgot again,” Len lied. “How about we send Iris and Wally to show Henry’s first word to Joe in person, and I make it up to you?”

A blush was climbing steadily up Barry’s neck, and he’d already shown his hand when he said, “The midterms. Progress reports go out Friday, I have to—“

“Telling me the fastest man alive can’t grade a stack of ninth grade chemistry tests before third period tomorrow?”

“They’re for my AP class,” Barry gasped, and he caught Len’s hand where he’d been tracing his fingers down Barry’s stomach. But he cleared his throat, then said, “Iris? Maybe you wanna bring Henry to the station? It would make Joe’s day.”

Iris gave him a knowing look, but her eyes were warm when she shared her smile with Len. “Mm. I bet it’ll make someone’s day.”

“Singh’s, probably,” Wally said, where he’d been drawing increasingly elaborate flowers of static out of the speed force for Henry’s fickle amusement. Then he glanced up. “Oh. Oh, you meant—yeah. Alright. I’ll grab the diaper bag. And congrats, you guys. On the first word, not the—“

Iris patted his arm and interrupted with, “The station, Wally?”

Wally ducked his head on a nod and gave them both a sheepish grin.

“Make sure your father doesn’t arrest my sister,” Len said. “She’ll show up as soon as she gets the intel out of Cisco.”

“No promises,” Iris said. “But I’ll give him the heads up. Bye, boys.”

The after-image of Wally’s lightning hadn’t even dissipated when Barry dropped his back against Len’s shoulder, one foot tapping rapidly. “Are we bad parents?”

Len nosed at the corner of Barry’s jaw and slid his fingers under the hem of his shirt. “No.”

“Maybe we should—should’ve, uh, reinforced it, more. He might get—confused. He said ‘hi,’ but we—oh my god, did we even say ‘bye?’ Len—“

Len spun Barry and pushed him back against the couch, then kissed him to distract him from looking anxiously at the front door. “You’re overthinking this.”

“I’m overthinking this,” Barry agreed. “No, I’m not. Len, his snack—“

“There are snacks at the station. Joe has a drawer full of Cheerios.”

Barry slid a hand through his hair, gave one last jittery look toward the door, and then slumped back against the couch with a laugh. “You’re better at this than me.”

“Already did it once,” Len said, smoothing the worry out of Barry’s brow with the pad of his thumb. “And look how Lisa turned out.”

It didn’t land the way Len had aimed it to. Barry gave him a warm smile instead of an alarmed look, and Len had to tick his gaze away for a break from the earnestness in that expression.

“Yeah,” Barry said. “Yeah, okay. Now maybe we could, uh, stop saying our family members’ names for a little while?”

Len rolled his eyes, but he allowed Barry a brief smile as he hooked his fingers in the front of his belt. “I thought you’d never ask.”

[❤️ Link to Ao3 ❤️]

#coldflash #my fics #leonard snart #barry allen #the flash #teacher barry au

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genesisrose74 · 4 years ago

Text

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

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paintalyx · 4 years ago

Note

Top 5/10 genshin impact characters and ships, please and thank you ;3c ~🐞

dude are you trying to cancel me?? i regret telling you that i was doing this. you suck. i hope you're happy. this is why our marriage is falling apart. anyways—

top 5 characters, playstyle be damned:

bennett (love at first sight. i saw this boy before my sister downloaded the game and i instantly pulled out adoption papers. he can support, he can attacc, but, most importantly, he got your bacc. i would be willing to throw hands over him. he's precious. i screamed when i saw that he was among people taking venti's poem class! bennefischl canon??)

diluc (i love batman and i love batfam and i want that dynamic in my party. he's edgy, he's needlessly extra and cool. i can feel in every cell of my body that he's a sweet and caring guy, but in this very awkward, roundabout way. my friends all know i that show love for my faves by constantly bullying them and diluc is a prime example of that. i also really want him and kaeya to talk things out at some point)

venti (a broke, homeless, gremlin drunkard of a god with a knack for mischief and a love for storytelling? yes please!! i can't help but smile whenever he pops up in the story!! i wish the fandom stopped kinda infantilizing him since he's literally the second oldest character in the game and there's so much more to him than just his venti persona. i could probably write a character dissection or something if i got bored enough)

chongyun (i just think he's neat. look at his blue eyelashes! listen to his voice lines! i just want to squeeze his cheeks and ruffle his hair! he's a party staple purely for the aesthetics and emotional support. my sister calls him "the minecraft child" since he's the only claymore user in her team)

noelle (my beautiful daughter!! criminally underrated!! she's my favourite healer!! i would also throw hands over her. it just sucks that she doesn't have more presence in the story. every time i make her do the spinny thing with her claymore, i can't help but sing beyblade intros)

top 5 ships because my friend hates me:

diluven (i saw fanart of them once and i was sold immidiately! you know what's better than two of my favourite characters? two of my favourite characters but *together*! and their interactions in prologue were super cute and it has a lot of potential! they have a height difference, reincarnation!au angst potential, and i happen to be weak to the dynamic of a tiny gremlin who pesters a tall stoic dude who's secretly fond. they've both suffered loss and both deserve someone to confide in and someone who would care for them, agh i can go about this all day! sucks that so many fans seem to stick to nsfw tho)

dainslumi (preferably when aether is the traveler and lumi is the abyss princess because i love drama. think of the yearning, the betrayal, the angst— think of how good they look standing next to each other and how lumine would probably kiss dains only if she puches him in the sternum first. bonus points since my man dains gives off big simp vibes and we gotta stick together. i hope that we'll learn more about them in the future and that the ship will gain some traction)

kaebedo (i didn't ship this at all at first, but then i read a couple of fanfics that hit all the good spots and now i am unable to deny that they are among my faves. both have mysterious origin tied to khaenri'ah and i'm a fan of khaenria'an royalty!kaeya and homunculus!albedo theories. they would be such a good influence on each other, just think about it for a moment— albedo gets more in touch with humanity, and kaeya finally gets someone to rely on. bonus points if klee wingmans, whether intentionally or not)

zhongven (what's better than months of slowburn buildup? hundreds of years of slowburn buildup, of course! they are the oldest archons, so i like to think that they know and understand each other well regardless of romantic involvement. i especially enjoy lore-heavy fanfics and headcanons about them. there's an abundance of things to explore and ways to interpret them. bonus points if xiao involuntarily gets adopted)

bennefischl (it's one of the first ships i got into before plummeting into the abyss that is multishipping, but i still hold it dear. i like to think that bennett is aware of fischl's uh... vivid imagination and he simply chooses to indulge her. i just love the idea of this goth child who info dumps obscure, sometimes worrisome trivia and a hyperactive puppy who's so lovesick that he just listens without understanding half of it, they're so precious!)

#ask #genshit impact #anyways my main team is called kindergarten and it's just me babysitting bennett and his friends on adventures #my sister's main team is called aventurine team and it's just kaeya being an icon while the kids are taking notes #me @ my online friends and mutuals: oh dear. oh dear. gorgeous.#me @ irl firends: you fvcking donkey #know the difference #multishipping hell: rarepair edition #the height differences are all just a happy accident this time i swear

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kirieshhhka003 · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! can I get hcs about the bucci gang having an artist s/o who likes to draw them? But its the kind of drawings where you exaggerate someone's facial features to make it comical xD who do you think would like it and who would get actually angry? Thanks uwu

Thank you for your request, my dear anon💚

Sorry, I’m far from drawing and stuff, and I don’t know much about it, so here are some things that came to my mind:

Bucci Gang x S/o that draws in a strange manner

Bruno Buccellatti

When S/o showed him their drawings he was very excited about them. It seemed like an illustrations to some book with fairy tails, all characters have some individual features and details that make them look very cool and elaborated. He’s sure that S/o spent lots of time and affords creating every one of them

When he flipped the page in their sketchbook, Bruno saw himself, sitting on the beach and fishing in some weird hat with hooks and shiny beads in it. He couldn’t hold his laughter, the way how silly and adorable the drawing of him looked, made Bruno feel happy and his lips curved into wide smile without him noticing. He muffled S/o’s hair gently and asked - “So, this is how you see me, huh?”

Leone Abbacchio

When Leone first saw S/o drawing he silently stood behind their back and watched them passionately scribbling something in their sketchbook. “Gibberish” he said softly and kept on watching S/o drawing. “Fuck ooof” they responded with a drowl and slightly poked silver-haired in a stomach with their elbow

In Abbacchio’s eyes it’s all just some kind of childish scribbles, but more detailed, S/o are just wasting their time and money. But as long as drawing keeps them busy and calm Leone is totally okay with their hobby

Guido Mista

Guido is so so far from art, especially drawing. All those styles and techniques, if it looks good - it looks good. S/o’s works look great, they’re kinda childish, like some kind of cartoon, but they have some... charm?

Guido asked S/o to draw them and when he took a look at the sheet of paper they gave him Mista was happy like a little pup. He also asked to add some fancy hat with stars and clown shoes to his look. Why? Mista doesn’t know. But it’d look great

Narancia Ghirga

Narancia is utterly excited about S/o’s drawing skills and style. When he was strolling through their sketchbook and noticed a drawing of a young guy, he took a closer look and realization hit his brain. “It’s ME!!!! You really drew me!!!” Gosh, he was so hyperactive about that, S/o wish they never shoved this drawing to him

Narancia often asks S/o to draw him something random like airplane, dragon, bird, boat or gnome. He gets so excited about it, like a little child. He asks for dinosaur daily and if S/o draw dino with the same design as they’ve already drown, Nara requires to remake it

Pannacotta Fugo

Fugo was raised in very straight family and they always told him that all arts, that don’t follow the rules of academic drawing , don’t count as art at all. So when he saw S/o’s drawings he was confused because yeah, it’s really good, but it’s not a real art, right?

When S/o showed Fugo a drawing of him, blonde was really confused about it. Yeah, he could recognize himself in this drawing, but his features was changed, the clothes were really different, he doesn’t have this t-shirt with a strawberry S/o drew him in. But, it’s still lol cute and he appreciates S/o’s work and time they spent on creating it

Giorno Giovanna

Giorno noticed S/o’s sketchbook poking out of their backpack and he asked why it was. They showed Giogio their works and blonde was really interested in them. Pretty much like Bruno, Giorno was excited about every character, every one of them made him feel different emotions - this boy is gotta be silly, and his old man looks evil etc.

He loves to watch S/o drawing, the way simple lines and dots become a whole drawing amazes Giorno. It looks so easy when they draw, blonde feels like he can do the same, but the moment when he grips pencil in his hand all confidence immediately leaves his body and he just stares at the white sheet in front of him

Masterlist | Smut Masterlist

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the-last-teabender · 4 years ago

Text

FANFIC: Oxventure - Duel Destinies

RATING: G

WORDS: Just under 7k

SUMMARY: Corazón gets hit on the head.

A/N: This isn’t my first time writing fanfic, but it’s my first time in literal decades writing something that a) isn’t going into a charity anthology and b) isn’t single-sentence goofs in my Gchat window with @randomthunk. So I actually am a little nervous to just yeet my work out into the world without an editor/publisher frontline protecting me from looking foolish. I do have plans to fic more tho.

I approached this as though I was writing an official tie-in because that’s my comfort zone (and occasionally my job). Which was a little challenging because there’s a lot that’s not part of the story but is part of the viewing experience. I have not mastered it in one story but the attempt was fun. Also I haven’t smashed alt-codes this obsessively while writing since I wrote about Señor 105.

Thanks aforementioned Ginger for being my beta reader and basically sitting on me to post this instead of hide it in my writing folder.

Anyway, if you like what I’m throwing out here, I have actually a lot of stuff in print and even more coming.

----------

“Right,” Dob said, pacing the length of the deck, “before we go, let’s review. Prudence, what happened yesterday?”

“We found a bad man killing off local slimes to make slime booze.”

“Good. Corazón, what happened yesterday?”

“I began my awesome new career as a detective and threw someone out a window.”

“All right. Merilwen?”

“Mow.”

“Excellent. Egbert?”

“I set a tavern on fire and got my seal very drunk on slime gin.”

“All right, that’s us caught up.”

That wasn’t the entire catch-up, but all of them knew the events of the day before well enough. The forest outside the town of Esterwell was in turmoil, according to the wizard Binbag after he tumbled unexpectedly out of a pantry. It was suddenly bereft of slimes — the cute little blobby creatures generally used for target practice by up-and-coming adventurers. As it happened, slimes had other uses. Serving as the base for a delightful high-end alcoholic brew, for one. Serving as the base of the entire local food chain, for another. If the slime population continued to plummet, eventually the other animal populations would follow suit.

An investigation of the local slime hunters (led by DCI Jeff Crimestopper, a pseudonym Corazón was becoming increasingly attached to) turned up that they were all in the employ of the same man: one Alonzo Horgan, owner of the Horgan Distillery. One especially talkative young hunter revealed that Horgan intended to “wring all the slimes out of Esterwell Forest” before upping sticks to his next hunting ground.

The goal was, in short, to stop Horgan’s machinations before he destabilized the entire local ecosystem and went on to do the same to others. Somewhere along the way, Dob had got it into his head that the goal was to start a brewery of their own and hold a cider-making contest in the Esterwell town square… an idea the group at large now referred to as “Plan C.”

Plan A, currently underway, was to continue the detective lark and either talk sense into Horgan or (more likely) run him out of town. Plan B was burning down the distillery.

“I’m still very much in favor of bumping Plan B up to Plan A,” said Prudence, wiggling her fingers as the group made their way back into Esterwell.

“Mrow,” Merilwen the cat grumbled from Dob’s shoulder, which translated to something like, “But that doesn’t actually solve the problem of making him stop.”

“Oh, fine,” Prudence huffed. “Detectives it is.”

Corazón pumped a fist low and (he thought) out of sight. “DCI Jeff Crimestopper back on the case, bay-bee.”

They arrived at the home of Alonzo Horgan — a palatial manor in a town that really wasn’t the sort to have palatial manors. At least half a dozen residences would have to have been knocked down to make way for the place, which stood half again as high as the buildings around it that had survived.

Merilwen hopped lightly from Dob’s shoulder, turning back into an elf again, as the half-orc tapped politely on the door.

“No, no.” Egbert shoved past him, balling up one scaly fist. “You’ve gotta really punch it.” He slammed his fist against the door several times, making it bow slightly under the pressure.

“Open up!” Corazón shouted, cupping his hands around his mouth. “We have a warrant!”

“Don’t just say we have a warrant!” Merilwen hissed.

The door was opened mere moments later by a tall, rail-thin man with an upturned nose and a downturned moustache. “Mmcan I help you?”

Corazón pushed past the man. “Yeah, you can take us to Alonzo Horgan. We’re taking him down to the station for questioning.”

“I’m afraid Mr. Horgan is not—” But the man was cut off as the rest of the group piled past and into the house.

“Where is he, then? Upstairs?” Corazón pointed up the stairwell, one foot on the steps.

The man at the door, to his credit, did his best to maintain his decorum. “Mr. Horgan is not taking visitors.”

“We’re not visitors,” Dob said gruffly, looming over the man, “we’re detectives.”

“Is that so? Well, I do hope you meant what you said about having a warrant. Otherwise I may have to take you to the authorities.”

Alonzo Horgan’s voice silenced the group, but had it not, his presence would have. Fully six-foot-four, a stocky mix of fat and muscle generally only seen on back alley brawlers, stuffed into a fancy suit. His glare was imperious; his moustache was excellent.

Corazón swiveled and approached the master of the house. “Alonzo Horgan?”

“Yes, I’m… not sure who else I would be.” Horgan seemed put out for a moment, but recovered himself. “May I ask what business you have here?”

“DCI Jeff Crimestopper.” Corazón pulled a piece of paper from his coat, flashed it briefly, and put it away again. “This is my DI, Dob Tyler.”

Dob grinned toothily; had it not been Dob, it might have looked threatening. “Here to make sure my loose cannon superior does things by the book.”

Corazón gestured to the rest of the party. “DS Prudence, DC Merilwen. And, er, PC Egbert, he mostly makes the tea.”

“It’s really good tea,” Egbert piped up.

“No offense, sir…” Horgan gestured to Corazón. “But you look more like a pirate than a detective.”

“Deep cover, obviously. I wouldn’t expect a civilian to understand.”

Horgan waved a hand dismissively. “Even if I were to entertain the idea that you’re who you claim to be, I feel I’ve done nothing to warrant an investigation.”

Merilwen narrowed her eyes. “Nothing, Mr. Horgan?” Her voice was tense, hitting that slightly higher octave that her friends knew meant violence was quickly becoming an option. “Killing off an entire species for your own benefit is ‘nothing’? Allowing the local wildlife to starve is ‘nothing’?”

“Oh, it’s about the distillery, is it? I promise you, my dear, I’ve heard it all before.”

Dob gritted his teeth, giving Horgan a highly dramatic, highly knowing look. “I’d be careful if I was you, sir. DC Merilwen has a license to… er. Bear.”

Still, none of this seemed to faze Horgan. “If you think complaining about my methods is going to have any effect… let me assure you, it hasn’t yet. Now, unless you have any actual business with me…”

Prudence stepped up. “All right, look. Fine. We’re not actually detectives.”

“You don’t say,” Horgan deadpanned.

“That said… the whole slime issue is a real thing, and we really do need you to stop hunting them out completely. Or at least cut back.” Prudence looked back at Merilwen. “Cut back? Would that be good enough?”

“I prefer the idea of him stopping completely,” Merilwen seethed.

Prudence gestured to Merilwen. “Yeah, what she said. But I mean, it affects you, too. Do you like, uh… wild boar? I guess? Rabbit? Pheasant? I don’t know.” She spread her hands in an exaggerated shrug. “Screw up the food chain and you don’t get any of those.”

Horgan looked them all over, one by one. “You come into my home. You pretend to be something you’re not. And then you make demands of me that would effectively shut down my business. Give me one reason why I should even listen to what you have to say.”

Egbert had mostly detached from the scene in front of him, his eyes scanning his surroundings in search of something entertaining. They lighted on a pair of crossed swords on the wall, with a bronze plaque underneath: Esterwell Annual Fencing Championship, Second Place. Without thinking, he blurted out, “A duel.”

“I beg your pardon?” Horgan asked. The rest of the party fixed Egbert with confused looks.

“A duel,” the dragonborn repeated, with a little more confidence this time — confidence filled in a lot of blanks, in his experience. “If one of us bests you in a duel, you have to at least give us a proper audience.”

Much to the group’s surprise — including Egbert’s, truth be told — Horgan seemed to consider it. “Hmm. Well. I suppose it makes more sense than… whatever we’ve been doing.” He gestured at the room in general, then turned to Corazón. “On the condition that I fight this one.”

Corazón grinned. “Hell yeah. I’ll fight you. Prepare to have your whole scene wrecked by Corazón de Ballena.”

“I thought you said your name was Jeff Crimestopper.”

“I told you. Deep cover.”

Horgan sighed wearily and turned to his doorman. “See them out. Tomorrow at sunrise on the lawn. Come alone, whatever your name is. And pray you do not lose. I have no patience for time-wasters.”

The five were ushered out without another word.

“Not sure it’s wise to challenge a prizewinning fighter to a duel,” Merilwen noted when they were outside town again. “That sort of seems like the main thing he’ll be ready for.”

Egbert waved a hand. “Pff, it’s fine. The plaque on his wall said he was only second place. That means there’s at least one person better than him in town.”

“Still… What’s going to happen if Corazón if he loses?”

Corazón laughed. “Pff. Hah. Nothing. Because Corazón won’t lose.” He unsheathed his rapier and stopped to take a few jabs at a nearby tree. A heavy branch, near to breaking, creaked overhead. “You know what my crew used to call me?”

“Yes,” said Prudence, “you’ve complained about it several times.”

“I mean in battle. You know, when we captured ships. My swordsmanship is second to none. They used to call me Corazón the—”

There was a crash, and silence.

Egbert stopped walking, waiting for the punchline. “Corazón the what?”

“Er.” Merilwen pointed back toward the tree hesitantly. “Corazón the unconscious, apparently.”

Prudence turned and lifted away the branch, wincing at the sight of the pirate splayed out on the ground. “Oh, dear…” Then she looked up at the group. “So does this mean I’m captain now?”

---

The general consensus had been to let Corazón be once he’d been carried back to the Joyful Damnation and bundled into bed. He would likely be full of opinions and complaints as soon as he woke up. That, and he’d need his rest before dueling Horgan the next morning.

There was no bleeding as far as they could tell. Just a big bruise that would get bruisier over the next few days. Egbert dropped a quick bit of healing on Corazón which, while it would likely be helpful in the long run, did nothing to wake him. Eventually, Dob took up a seat by the enormous bed in the captain’s quarters, keeping an eye on the patient and picking out a few chords to pass the time. Just as he was getting a good riff worked out...

“Ow.”

“Ow?” Dob leaned over the bed. “Did you say ow?”

“Yes, I said ow. Because I’m in pain.”

Dob jumped up from his seat and threw the door open. “Guys! Guys! He’s awake!”

Prudence was the first to run in. “Is he okay?”

“Sounds like it.”

Egbert followed, with Merilwen bringing up the rear. They crowded around Corazón’s bed, realized at the same time that that would probably look weird from his vantage point, and backed off a bit.

“Corazón?” Dob leaned in slightly. “How’s your head?”

He squinted up at Dob. “What did you call me?”

“Oh, right.” Dob laughed. “Silly me. How’s your head, DCI Crimestopper?”

This just seemed to confuse him more. “Who… what are you talking about?” Then he pulled himself up to sitting, perhaps a little more quickly than he ought, and pressed a hand to the top of his head, looking around. “I feel like I’ve been beaned with an entire tree. Where the hell am I?”

“Your room,” Prudence offered. “We figured you’d want a nap after the bludgeoning.”

He shook his head, still sounding a bit dazed. “No… this isn’t my room. My room is bigger. And it doesn’t rock and creak. Are we… are we on a ship?” He looked up at the others again, as though seeing them for the first time.

“... who the hell are all of you?”

There was an awkward silence.

“He’s messing about, right?” Egbert grinned nervously at the others.

“It’s Corazón,” Prudence said quickly, “of course he’s messing about. Just humor him, he’ll be on to something new when he’s tired of it.”

Dob was already on board at humor him. He pressed a hand to his forehead. “Oh, no! Corazón! All our precious memories, lost forever! Please say it isn’t so, old friend!”

If Corazón was acting, he was really leaning into the deadpan delivery. “Is this some sort of prank? It’s not a very good one, if…” His gaze wandered down to his hands resting on the bed sheet, his sleeves wrinkled back somewhat. His eyes went wide, and he made a sort of choking, stammering sound.

Then, again far more quickly than he probably should have, he threw himself out of bed, shoving past Egbert on the way to the largest of his mirrors. Carefully, he pulled his collar aside. And gasped.

“Oh, my God, I’ve been tattooed in my sleep!”

“Gosh,” Egbert said with an admiring smile, “he’s really devoting himself to the bit, isn’t he?”

Merilwen shook her head slightly. “I… don’t… know if it’s a bit.”

“Which one of you did this to me?!” Corazón pointed at the tentacle tattoo emerging from under his collar. “Why would you do that? Why… what happened to my hair!? How long have I been asleep!?” He grabbed the nearest person — Egbert — by the collar. “Are you trying to change my identity!? Am I going to be sold off to the highest bidder!? What’s your plan!? You have to tell me!”

Dob grabbed for his lute, a nervous grin plastered on his face. “Ooooh! Oh, dear! Looks like someone could use a nice lullaby.”

Merilwen held out a warning hand to Dob. “No? No. One second.” She waved a hand to Corazón, the way one might a skittish fox. “Hey, over here.”

“What!? What do you want now!?”

“Just. Okay. Calm down for a second. Calm…” Merilwen inhaled and exhaled slowly, guiding the breathing with her hands. Corazón, surprisingly did the same. That in itself was a sign that something was off.

“Okay, just keep your eyes on me, all right?”

“Sure.” Corazón’s voice was strained.

Merilwen rooted around in the pocket of one of Corazón’s jackets, folded neatly over a nearby chair. She found what she was looking for — a little leather pouch of gold coins — and poured the contents out into her hand. She showed them to Corazón, as though setting up a magic trick. He watched and nodded tensely, his jaw set.

“Dob,” she said with a sweet smile, opening the cabin window. “Would you do the honors?”

“Would I?” Without hesitation, he took the little handful of coins from Merilwen, slid over to the window, and chucked them out into the sea, one by one.

All eyes turned toward Corazón.

“Yes, and?” The nervousness was tinged with irritation. “What?”

Another awkward silence, this one longer. And awkwarder. As they all, in their own time, came to terms with the fact that Corazón was not, in fact, acting.

Prudence tapped him experimentally on the shoulder. He flinched away, balling his hands into fists and holding them in front of his face.

“Hey, hey, whoa! No, no, we’re your friends! It’s us!” Prudence smiled, gesturing around the room. “You know. The Oxventurers! Can’t you recognize us?”

Corazón lowered his fists. “If you mean could I pick you out of a lineup, then yes, I certainly could.”

“Corazón…”

“Hff… and stop calling me that! It’s weird!” He brushed off his sleeve where Prudence had tapped him. “If you’re my kidnappers, then I would hope you already know who I am.”

“Y-Yeah.... Sorry.” Prudence frowned, then smiled. “Percy?”

“Thank you. That’s more like it.” And Corazón made a break for the deck.

---

“All I’m saying,” said the half-orc with the large hammer and the very nice hair, “is that we could be having a cider-making contest in the town square right now.”

“Or burning things,” said the tiefling, as a pair of ancient tomes played around her heels like rowdy puppies. “We could also be burning things right now.”

If this was a kidnapping, it was a very civilized one. Percy hadn’t had any practical experience with being kidnapped, to be fair. His father had suggested that it might happen once or twice in his youth, because that was just how life was for the children of rich and influential people. But after making it to adulthood without ever waking up in a dingy cellar surrounded by leering mercenaries, he’d just put it to the side.

He’d also been a bit disappointed, as escaping from said mercenaries could have been fun. But in retrospect, he might not have done as well at that as he liked to pretend.

He wasn’t tied up, or locked up. At worst, he had been prevented from leaping off the ship by all four of his kidnappers (and a seal, he was still contending with that information) piling themselves on top of him. They’d bundled him back into the captain’s quarters while they consulted with each other. Percy took the time to shave — the itch from his stubble was frazzling his already-frazzled brain — and change into a shirt that still had functional buttons.

The change had gotten a slight stare of disbelief from his captors, as though he’d gone and swapped heads, but no actual comments were made. And now, the dragonborn was sitting by him on the deck and handing him a cup of tea, and it smelled suspiciously like what he drank at home, and yes, this was absolutely one of his teacups.

“So!” the dragonborn said with a toothy grin. “Cora-... er, Percival. Percy? Mr. Milquetoast? Sorry, not sure what to call you now.” He had a cup of his own, but rather than sipping from it, he opened his long snout and splashed the contents inside. Judging by the reaction that followed, the tea was still very hot.

“Just, er… whichever? I guess?” Why was he sitting on a ship drinking tea with his kidnappers while they asked what to call him? Why had his father not been mentioned yet? Was that still incoming? His teacup rattled against the saucer.

“Mmmm… Percy. I’ve always thought you looked like a Percy.”

“Always?” Percy put his teacup down shakily on its saucer. “Then you’ve been spying on me? For how long?”

“No!” The dragonborn waved a hand frantically in front of himself. “No, no, I mean… we’re not…” He looked behind him, where the other three were peering at the scene thoughtfully. “Um, guys, I’m not doing great. Someone else try.”

The elf stepped in and tapped him on the shoulder, as though relieving him from duty. Good. As far as Percy could tell, she was the most logical of the group. She wasn’t panicking… not that he could see, at least.

“So you’re Good Cop, then?” Percy eyed her warily.

“No…” The elf sighed, a sort of long-suffering sigh that made him feel like this was not the first long-suffering sigh she’d issued him. “We’re your friends, really. And we’re just trying to figure out how to help you.”

Percy narrowed his eyes. “My friends.”

“Yes.”

“Not magical kidnappers looking for a piece of the Milquetoast fortune.”

“No. Not magical kidnappers looking for a piece of the family fortune. I promise.”

“I mean, I have friends at home. I can just go home to my actual friends, and not whatever you guys are pretending to be.”

The elf’s face settled into an expression that somehow managed to be both neutral and confrontational, her lips pressed into a line. “Name four friends you have at home.”

Damn. “Uh, th-there’s, uh… there’s Steve… F-Friendsman.”

“Yeah.”

“There’s, a-um, Roger… M’buddy.”

The elf pressed a hand to her face. “Please, at least let us try to help you.”

She seemed absolutely genuine. It was making his head hurt. This was not how criminals acted. As far as he knew. “Fine, help me, or whatever it is you want to do.”

“All right, so…” The elf clasped her hands together. “It’s probably just a matter of jogging your memory. You got a little bop on the head, it shook things up, but we can help you connect things up again. Right?”

“Sure,” Percy said hesitantly, now with the added wrinkle of wondering when and how he’d been hit over the head. He considered asking, but he could already hear the answer. No, we didn’t hit you over the head intentionally. It was a love tap. Something like that.

The elf smiled. It didn’t seem like a kidnapper’s smile. But again, he had nothing to go on. Maybe kidnappers had really nice smiles. “Okay, good. So let’s just rattle out a few of the high points, and see what your brain latches onto.”

Percy nodded, taking a sip from the teacup he still held in a death grip.

“Okay. Spicy rat?” She paused, and he wasn’t sure what for. After a short silence, she picked up again. “No? Okay, that was a while ago, admittedly. Uh… baby-making watch?”

“Babies don’t come from watches,” Percy scoffed. “They come from under cabbage leaves.”

The elf ground to a halt in her questioning, but picked up again with a shake of the head. “What about the party? The one where you went dressed as a sexy nurse and made a teenage girl cry.”

Percy scowled. “I would never do that!”

The half-orc chuckled. “Oh, you very much did.”

“I will not allow you to paint me with the same brush as you, you… s-scoundrels!” Percy felt a chill down the back of his neck. “That’s what this is, isn’t it? You’re trying to convince me I’m one of you and whisk me away to do unspeakable crimes, is that it?”

“Hasn’t taken much trying so far, mate,” Merilwen grumbled.

“Waaaait wait wait wait.” The tiefling squeezed up next to the elf. “We’re coming at this from the wrong angle. He’s clearly forgotten stuff from before we met him, too, right? What we need to do is remind him of why he became a pirate.”

Percy looked around the ship. Then down at the clothes he’d woken up in. And the tattoo on his wrist. “I’m a pirate?”

“Yep, you are a pirate.”

“So… this really is my ship?”

“Er, our ship, yes.” The tiefling seemed to take a lot of pride in saying that. Well, being co-owner of a ship was something to be proud of… if it was true, he’d probably let himself feel a bit proud, too. “So, maybe if you can summon up the feelings that made you want to run away from home and be a pirate, the rest will follow. So, tell us about your dad.”

“He’s… dumb?” Percy shrugged. “He’s annoying? I don’t know, it’s a lot of effort to run away from him for being dumb and annoying. I’ve got nothing.”

The tiefling leaned in conspiratorially. “Nothing about what a bad dad he is? How he has ridiculous expectations of you? Doesn’t want you to have fun and live your own life?” She paused. “How he’s got a stupid wig and he’s all stuffy and bossy?”

Percy leaned away from her. “You seem to have plenty against him already.”

“Oh, no, no. I don’t hate him. You do.”

“No, it really does sound like it’s you.”

The tiefling laughed, waving a hand. “Oh, no, that’s just because he bothers you. It’s a support thing. I’d totally love to live in his big ol’ house.”

“So you’re telling me you don’t like my father, but you do like his money, and that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

The tiefling’s face twisted into a confused frown. “Oh, man. Yeah, we do kinda sound like we kidnapped you for ransom, don’t we?”

Percy flinched away, nearly dropping his teacup. Oddly, the tiefling was once again trying to reassure him. “Which we didn’t?? Which we didn’t. I’m just saying.” She sighed. “I guess he forgot whatever happened that made him want to run away, too. How about you, Egbert? Got any paladin magic for him?”

“I’ve got something better!”

All eyes, Percy’s included, turned to the dragonborn — who was now swinging a mace from one clawed hand.

“So, you know how in all the stories, right? Someone gets knocked on the head and gets amnesia, but then they get hit in the same spot and all their memories come back. Let’s just do that!”

The dragonborn strode over to Percy, winding up the mace. Percy stumbled backwards, his teacup falling and shattering on the deck. “Don’t you dare!”

“Egbert, not that mace!” the elf shouted.

“Oh, it’s fiiiine. I had to hit whatsisname loads of times before he actually turned into a seal.”

Percy looked at the seal. The seal looked back.

“Eg.”

The dragonborn raised his mace over his head. Percy stumbled backwards towards the door to the captain’s quarters, eyes locked on the cursed weapon. He reached behind him for the doorknob and twisted frantically. The door wouldn’t give way.

The elf flung herself at the dragonborn, turning into an octopus in midair. The two hit the deck, the mace rolling harmlessly across the deck as the octopus held the would-be attacker in place. Percy finally managed to yank the door open, racing into the captain’s quarters and slamming the door behind him.

“I meant a spell!” Percy heard the tiefling yell from the other side of the door. “You’ve got more healing spells, don’t you?”

“Oh, riiiight…”

There was a gentle tap at the door. Percy eyed it nervously.

“Heeey, buddy. You okay?” It was the half-orc. “Can I come in?”

“No, you absolutely cannot come in. You’re all insane and there’s a seal man out there saying egg.”

“That’s cool, that’s cool. I’ll just sit out here, how’s that?”

Percy heard a gentle thump against the other side of the door. “So… you really don’t remember anything, do you? About us, or your pirate crew, or any of that?”

“Last thing I remember is going to bed at Milquetoast Manor and thinking tomorrow night’s party was going to be very boring. Then I woke up in bed on a strange boat, with all of you standing over me looking ready to dissect me or something.” Percy sat down, leaning on the other side of the door. His head still felt foggy. “So? Which one of you blackjacked me?”

“You blackjacked yourself with a tree.”

Percy frowned. “Is that the sort of thing I’m likely to do?”

“Oh, yes,” the half-orc said cheerfully. “Merilwen had a stack of tree puns ready to go, but under the circumstances it seemed, uh… bit tasteless.”

“Merilwen?”

“The elf. Don’t worry, you can hear them later. You know, when your head’s right again.” A pause. “Oh! Haha. Of course. I’m Dob, by the way. The tiefling is Prudence, and the big dragon man is Egbert. And we’re all your friends, and we all do super cool things together.”

Percy nodded, still not completely convinced. Then he realized Dob wouldn’t be able to see him on the other side of the door. “If you say so.”

“Gosh. Introducing myself to you. That brings back memories.” Dob stopped himself, fumbling, as if he’d just said something extremely offensive. “I mean… you know…”

Against his better judgment, Percy got up and opened the door. Dob, leaning heavily on it, tumbled backwards… but turned the tumble into a backwards somersault and landed lightly on his feet. He gave a little bow, and Percy felt he ought to clap. Just considering the effort.

“You ready to come out and talk to the others?”

Percy leaned to one side and looked out onto the deck. Egbert was on his feet again, with Merilwen (now an elf) still clinging to his back, as though uncertain whether the dragonborn could be trusted on his own yet. Prudence wore a friendly smile that seemed to say “I’m not going to sacrifice you to my eldritch god, but I’m also not not going to sacrifice you to my eldritch god.” His trusted friends. Apparently.

Before Percy could answer, Dob slapped him on the back and walked him out onto the deck. “All right. We’ve all had a little breather, a little think, and I think… and this is just me… we should back-burner the memory loss issue and focus on the bigger problem.”

“There’s a bigger problem?” Percy looked at Dob incredulously.

The group at large winced. “Yeah…” Dob continued to speak for the group, and no one seemed to mind being relieved of that duty for the moment. “See, Percy. Percival. Friend. Our good friend of so long…”

“Just tell me what’s going to happen to me.”

“You have to duel someone tomorrow morning.”

Percy extracted himself from Dob’s friendly side-arm. “What? Why? Why would I do that?”

“Again,” said Dob, “if it makes you feel better, it is extremely on brand.”

“Hsfd… it doesn’t make me feel better! I have to fight someone tomorrow and I’m not me! I mean, I am me, but I’m not this other me who went and did a thing I didn’t do!”

Amongst them, Percy’s friends(?) laid out the entire situation. All he managed to retain were slimes, collapse of the natural world, very large man, and imminent swordfight. The rest was a sort of blur, and one he was in no mood to attempt to figure out.

“I can’t do this.” It was a statement of fact. “Maybe this Corazón guy can do this, but I can’t. Horgan’s going to be expecting some jerk pirate who can swordfight.”

“We can try another refresher,” suggested Merilwen.

Egbert reached for his mace. “I could try—-”

“No,” said everyone, possibly even the seal.

“Look,” Dob said gently, “we’ll have puh-lenty of time to work on the memory thing, right? All we have to do is get through tomorrow, and if it hasn’t cleared up by then, we’ll find someone to help you, no problem.”

“How can you be so sure?” Percy asked, the fretting feeling coming back even stronger than before.

Egbert shrugged. “It’ll happen. That’s how it tends to go. A problem comes up, and then a couple days later someone comes along with a quest that’ll fix it. It’s really handy.”

“Okay, that’s great for after tomorrow morning. But what about me, tomorrow morning, with swords? What’s my guarantee I get past that alive? Because I’ve never actually stabbed a man.”

“Yes you have,” Prudence pointed out.

“Like a lot,” Merilwen added.

“Apparently you kicked a man to death once,” said Egbert. “I mean, I found out later, but I believe it.”

“But I don’t remember that!” Percy flailed an arm helplessly. “It’s… hds… that’s some future guy and I’m not the future guy, I’m the me guy. How is the me guy going to survive?”

The group fell silent.

“... did I actually kick a man to death?”

They all nodded.

“Oh…”

“And see? That’s why we believe in you, Cor… er, Percy.” Dob threw an arm around Percy’s shoulders again. “We know what you’re capable of. We know it’s in here.” He jabbed at Percy’s chest with one finger. “And in here.” At his head.

“Ow!”

“The head, Dob,” Merilwen hissed, “watch the head.”

“Right, right. Look. We’ve got tonight to train you up into a believable Corazón de Ballena. You’ve already got the look, you’ve already got the voice. That’s more than most people start with.”

Percy let out a weak groan.

“Hey! No, this is good! We can do this! And maybe, somewhere along the way, something will trigger the ol’ bean and the memories will just come flooding back. Right, guys?”

The rest of the team seemed to believe it about as much as Percy did. Which wasn’t much.

“Are you sure we can’t just…” Percy motioned to the anchor rope. “Leave?”

“No,” Merilwen said firmly. But her expression was still hesitant. “No, we have to stop Horgan. More than anything else, that has to happen.”

She was insistent. This was important to her. Percy groaned again.

“Come on, buddy.” Dob lifted his arm from Percy’s shoulders, grabbing him by both arms and staring him in the eyes. “Look me in the eye.”

“Yeah. Looking.”

“Now. Are you a Thieves Cant, or a Thieves Can?”

Merilwen, at least, seemed to appreciate what Dob was going for.

---

Plan B no longer stood for Burning. Plan B, as indicated by a wild-shaped Merilwen taking up a spot behind the topiaries on Horgan’s lawn, now stood for Bear. And possibly Bomb, and Blast, and Bard Casts Thunder Wave, depending on who got trigger-happy first.

No amount of swordfighting or storytelling brought Corazón’s memory back. Nor did any amount of actually insisting on calling him Corazón. Their last ditch hope — that he’d wake up the next morning acting like nothing had happened — didn’t pan out, either. Dob gave pep talk after pep talk as Corazón fretted uncharacteristically, the latter eventually wrapping the uneaten bacon sandwich he’d made for himself in a piece of paper and stowing it in a jacket pocket. Finally, though, they’d all had to take up their positions and leave the rest to luck.

Corazón was left to make the walk up the lawn alone, but the other four had formed a perimeter: Merilwen in the topiary, Dob in a nearby tree, Prudence behind a fence, and Egbert peering over a hedge. Dob promised to shoot Corazón an occasional prompt if things got hairy; but, by and large, it was all him.

As the sun began to rise, Corazón walked up the paved path to the appointed spot. He’d not quite gotten his own swagger down, instead walking slow, measured steps with his hands stuffed in his pockets.

Try to look like you’re too cool for the room! Dob thought; Corazón looked up and around, surprised, then seemed to remember what Dob had said about sending mental messages. He stopped where he was, pulled his hands out of his pockets, squared his shoulders, and walked even more awkwardly up the path.

Fine. It’d have to do.

Just as the light of sunrise hit its best and most aesthetic hue, Alonzo Horgan and his servant walked out. The former wore a rapier at his belt.

“Corazón de Ballena,” Horgan said broadly, his voice dripping with fake friendliness. “Or are we going by something new today?”

“No, er, that’s me.”

Dob thought another swift message.

“I mean… that’s right! That’s me, Corazón. The mighty pirate. Here to run you through like a tasty kebab and grill… grill you on the fires of justice? What the hell does that mean?”

Just go with it, Dob thought irritably, but the moment had passed. Shame. He was rather proud of that one.

Horgan eyed Corazón with amusement. “I can wait if you need a moment.”

“No, no. Erm. Yes, that’s me.” Corazón’s hand hovered over the hilt of his rapier. He was tense. He was ready. He might have been about to faint. It was hard to tell.

Horgan’s retainer’s voice was soft. None of them could hear it from their respective points along the perimeter. Corazón didn’t look especially surprised by any of it, which hopefully meant there was nothing odd about the rules of the duel.

From their spots, separated though each of them was, they all had the same thought at the same time: what would it take? What hadn’t they done? Would they need a spell? Some sort of quest? A skilled healer? Would another bop on the head really have done it?

A shrill whistle blew. Each of them was shaken out of their thoughts to see that the duel had begun, and Corazón was already flagging quickly. It was less of a duel and more of a chase, the enormous Horgan lumbering across the lawn after his smaller opponent. Corazón, for his part, was holding his ground… though “his ground” was constantly moving backwards across the lawn in zigzags.

His heel came dangerously close to a stray root, nearly hidden by the grass.

“Look out!” Egbert shouted. Merilwen, Dob, and Prudence shushed him. Horgan looked up and around for the source of the voice. Corazón, on the other hand, missed the warning entirely. His heel caught on the root, and he windmilled backwards, landing flat on his back.

Merilwen hesitated behind the topiary, one huge, clawed paw creeping around the side of the greenery. Was it go time? The others were in the same state of indecision, poised to attack but waiting to see what happened.

Corazón lifted his head slightly. The massive form of Horgan hovering over him, blade raised threatening, blocked out the faint light of sunrise. The sword hung there for a moment… then was flung across the lawn, accompanied by a disgusted sigh from Horgan.

“How very disappointing.”

The group shot each other quick glances. The message was clear. Well, clear-ish. “Stop Horgan before he can leave” was clear enough, but what would be done with him once apprehended was likely still up in the air. Corazón, unaware of any of this, propped himself up on his elbows.

“Where are you going?” he asked weakly. “We’re not done here.”

“I rather think we are.” Horgan shook his head in… amusement? Disappointment? It was hard to tell. “What a shame. You were so full of piss and vinegar yesterday, and today you’ve got no real fight in you.”

“I’ve got fight… I’ve got plenty of… hhhh.” Corazón put a hand to his head.

“Serves me right, thinking I’d get a good fight out of some puffed-up fake pirate.”

“... what did you say?” Corazón’s voice was suddenly oddly sharp and cold.

Horgan chuckled. “You heard me. You’re less convincing than the chap I hired for my niece’s seventh birthday party.” He waved a hand to his servant. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve not had breakfast yet and I’m peckish. Think I might go to the kitchen and have a bit of a graze.”

On his next step, Horgan’s booted foot slid forward, sending him falling backwards into a puddle of grease that had absolutely not been there moments ago. Now it was his turn to look up at a looming silhouette: Corazón de Ballena, sword pointing down threateningly in one hand, bacon sandwich in the other.

“How appropriate. You fight like a cow.”

Horgan spluttered, eyes bulging. “You… what nonsense is this!?”

“It’s called the power of grease, that’s what nonsense this is. Now get up and fight me so we can have our little talk. Or would you rather we just go ahead and burn your whole scene down?”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Yeah, you’re right, I wouldn’t. I think Prudence might, though.” Corazón shouted toward the fence. “Prudence! Plan B for burn?”

Prudence threw her hands in the air. “Plan B for buuuurn!”

Horgan had managed to pull himself up to one knee, the grease still dangerously slick beneath him. “I said to come alone!”

“Yeah, well, pirate. Don’t know what you expected.” Corazón stepped back, taking a bite of his sandwich. “So, I’m calling this a win for Team Oxventure. Which means it’s time for some negotiations concerning your, er, current business model.”

“But…” Horgan looked in the direction of his servant. He was long gone. Whether he’d run off, or whether the large bear standing where he’d stood had disposed of him, Horgan couldn’t tell.

“Oh, yes. That’s our sustainability advisor, Merilwen. She’ll be taking over from here.”

Merilwen growled.

---

“So what you’re saying,” said Egbert, “is that my plan was the best and would have worked.”

“Hff… no! Absolutely not.” Corazón was rubbing a hand over his chin, displeased with the lack of facial hair. “A one-in-six chance of being turned into an animal is not a best plan. Why did you let me shave? I hate it.”

“It’ll grow back.” Prudence poured out a mug of slime beer… the last remaining barrel, which they’d taken with them as a gratuity after aggressively convincing Horgan to discontinue his fermented slime line. She offered the mug to Merilwen, who waved a hand in front of herself emphatically.

“No, I don’t want to drink the poor baby slimes…” The rest became too high-pitched and tearful to translate.

“I’ll drink the poor baby slimes.” Dob grabbed the mug and necked half of it, much to Merilwen’s chagrin. “Anyway, what snapped you out of it? Was it hitting your head again?”

Corazón wrinkled his nose and shook his head. “Don’t know. I know I got really mad when whatsisname called me a fake pirate, and I wasn’t having that.”

Prudence’s eyes lit up. “Ohh, spite! Literally the one thing we didn’t think to try!”

“Well,” said Dob, passing Corazón his mended teacup topped off with beer, “I think we’ve all had a chance to learn something about friendship and patience and being true to ourselves.”

Egbert poured himself a pint. “I haven’t learned anything.”

“I have.”

Everyone looked at Corazón. “Have you?” Dob asked.

“Yep.” Corazón took a sip of beer from the teacup. “We are absolutely terrifying.”

Merilwen nodded sagely.

“Yeah,” Prudence said dreamily. “It’s good.”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to my room, and I’m not coming out again until my good facial hair is back.” The door to the captain’s quarters slammed behind Corazón.

And that is the story of how the Oxventurers brought down a corrupt businessman with a breakfast sandwich.

#oxventure #outside xbox #i'm supposed to be writing other things but i won't tell if you won't #anyway yes i write stories a lot i do them for a living #please read them #i love approval from strangers

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