#it upsets me. i can't explain it right i don't have the words rn but

[bylertruther]

i can't explain it well bc my brain is fried after exams but i feel like there is Something there in the fact that whenever the byIer community talks abt how shipping byIer isn't inappropriate and that them kissing is completely normal and fine, people always, always, ALWAYS have to pipe up with "well yeah kissing is fine but [goes on to preach to the choir abt how nsfw byIer is bad]". like. why is that where your mind jumps. why is it that when one person says "mike and will kissing on screen like every other couple has been allowed to would be good and normal and expected, and writing fics where they kiss isn't inappropriate at all, and we should discuss why people think them kissing is any different and inherently dirty and Bad because therein lies the actual issue" some people gotta pipe up and prove that point exactly. like. do u get wht i mean? no one brings up "pr0shipping" or sex or any of that irrelevant shit whenever someone talks abt j4ncy or lvmax sharing a peck. so why do u bring that up here and now? why do you act like we're talking about anything else here and put words in our mouths? why do you feel Some Type Of Way as an lgbt person urself whenever someone else says that they'd like to see a couple tht looks like them express innocent physical affection the same way that everyone else in the show does? why do you suddenly start talking about cp when literally no one is fucking talking about that at all? like. hello. i can't be the only bitch that sees this i can't be the only person that goes 🤨❓❓❓whenever ppl start to needlessly steer the convo in tht direction like .......

[brittscafe]

hiii! i really really really like REALLY loved your content, especially jjk ones bcs it helps me A LOT with my sadness while watching S2 lolll

can i request a fic?? nanami x fem!reader - reader starts overthinking about their relay with nanami that seemed distant rn bcs nanami always comes back home late with his constant overtime BUT nanami doesn't notice about it. so, one night there's just an argument about this and nanami accidentally slips off 'i never ask you to stay with me' in which hurts reader A LOT - eventually leads nanami to his realization and they finally make up when they're about to sleep (nanami saying sorry while hugging from behind and asking reader to snuggle with him)

i'm sorry if there's too much angst 😭 and i'm sorry if there are grammatical errors since eng isn't my first language 🙏🏻 but i really hope you will take this into consideration hehe

Hi! Thank you!!! <3 Really missing Nanami rn 😩 Sorry, this literally took me forever to writeeee

Nanami Kento is the hardest worker you know. He's always staying late at work and doing overtime. He doesn't seem to notice how it effects you though.

The endless nights you stay awake, sitting at the counter and your foot repeatedly tapping the ground below your, your right leg shaking rapidly.

The nervous build up in your stomach that makes you nauseous and your head spin. Of course, Nanami always comes home to you, but he's distant and you can't hide the way you feel any longer.

The front door clicks open and Nanami's tall figure walks inside, a deadpan expression on his face.

"Hey Nanami...can we talk?" you speak up quietly. Nanami's eyes meet yours for a split second and his breath hitches in his throat.

"Sure," he nods his head, setting his suitcase down. You shift your weight in the chair that you're sitting in and clear your throat.

"I have to be honest, I'm a little upset with you. You constantly work overtime and I stay up all night waiting up for you," you sigh out and Nanami cocks an eyebrow.

"You don't have to wait up for me. I've told you that multiple times, y/n. You know that I work late," Nanami explains with a firm voice that brings you little to no comfort.

"I know, but I feel like I'm being treated unfairly. I wish you would spend more time with me after work, especially since I spend most of mine time here alone. It's not fair," you explain, a frown tugging on your face.

Nanami shifts his weight and crosses his arms over his chest.

"I never asked you to stay with me." his words are cruel and cut into your feelings like a sharp knife. Your eyes widen and your mouth gapes open.

Wow.

You stare at Nanami in disbelief and the tears start to well up in your eyes. You tear your gaze away from Nanami and lower your head down, trying to swallow your hurt.

"Ok," you mumble out underneath your breath, walking off and into your bedroom.

Nanami blinks with confusion and clears his throat, shaking it off as he sits down on the couch. His mind ponders on what he did wrong as he chews on his bottom lip.

A heavy sigh falls from his lips and he runs his fingers through his hair with frustration.

An hour or so passes and it's bedtime. The door clicks open to your shared bedroom and Nanami's eyes lock onto you in your pjs. You glance over at him over your shoulder as you pull back the comforter.

The room is silent and Nanami clicks his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

"Y/n," he calls out, his voice barely above a whisper. You easily hear his voice, but ignores it. Nanami steps closer to you, clearing his throat.

"Y/n," he speaks again, this time his voice louder and clearer. You glance over at him, curling the comforter up in your fists and letting out an annoyed sigh.

"What?" you mumble out.

"I didn't mean what I said earlier. It just slipped out," Nanami speaks calmly and you chew on your bottom lip.

"I thought you didn't want me to stay with you," you scoff quietly, scowling back at him. Nanami face drops and he shakes his head, wrapping his arms around your waist.

He pulls your back into your chest and nuzzles his head onto your shoulder. You can feel his warm breath on your neck and it sends a chill down your spine.

"I'm sorry, my dear. I do want you to stay with me. I promise," he speaks softly, his voice comforting you. You release the tight grip that you have on the comforter and grab onto Nanami's forearms.

"Ok," you nod your head.

"Do you forgive me? Please? You know I can't go to bed without you," Nanami begs you, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. You giggle as his lips tickle your skin and the sound of your laughter makes Nanami's lips curl up into a tiny grin.

"Yes, I forgive you, Kento. Come here," you whisper, spinning around and gathering him in your arms. Nanami's arms wrap around your back and flatten against them.

You run your fingers through his blonde hair, massaging his scalp as you two fall back into the bed. Nanami's legs are spread out across the bed as he lays on top of you, his head resting on your chest.

He listens to the rhythm of your steady heartbeat as you warm hands running up and down his back make his eyelids heavy.

He's so thankful for you and that you spend so much time with you and staying up late.

Nanami asks you to move in with him a few days later...

[ghxst-system]

The systems misusing nonverbal and semiverbal upset me so much. We are bodily semiverbal. We have difficulty communicating and it's only worsened by our dissociation and schizospec stuff. We have many alters that are semiverbal and even have alters formed specifically to help communicate sometimes because we seriously cannot. And even then sometimes they fail to communicate for us.

It makes us upset seeing systems and anyone misuse them. We are dumb and we are slow. We have cognitive and mental disabilities. We struggle to think and understand a lot. And even we know that if we do not fully understand words that we do not feel comfortable using them.

It very easy to just not use words or to learn about them. Even as a ramcoa survivor and polyfrag system we still don't use subsystem because we cannot fully understand it. And it's okay to not understand. Sometimes it takes months before we use words and understand them. It takes us a while of learning between reading actual professional resources and personal experiences to understand. We still don't understand some of our own stuff. We still can't talk about schizotypal stuff even though we very much live it.

Feels like people see words and just go "Oh that me!" and don't even try to understand. Or try to understand what means beforehand. And cannot relate to that because always been scared about not understanding or misusing words so always try to make sure I understand best I can before using them. Because I know I can be very slow if not easily written out like a vocab word in elementary school. It takes time for us to use words to describe our own experiences because along with time accepting it, it takes time to even understand it. Like we know we polyfrag and ramcoa now, but took us months to learn and just as if not longer to accept. Because could not understand and comprehend.

I thought everyone would do this kind of thing. Look at professional sources and then try to understand them and also find people to help explain or people that experience it. And we are notoriously bad at research and stuff cause we are very slow and dumb. Does make us slightly salty about it though. But I know most people never mean harm. Still frustrating and hope more systems try to learn before hopping on using words especially when many are professional and medical words, not just community terms for funsies. They have meaning. They have purpose. They exist for reason. Meaning sticks to meaning.

(sorry for longer vent and sorry for if not word right cuz as we said we are dumb and semiverbal and struggle to communicate so tried to get thoughts out and stuff. Apologizing because very anxious and helps feel better if say sorry.)

But this just to say yes very frustrating and very glad someone says it. Semiverbal for semiverbal bodily. Nonverbal for nonverbal bodily. Permanent state. Not something go to. Important for these words to keep meaning when most of community already ignored nonverbal and semiverbal people. :( Systems too. Do not use nonverbal and semiverbal. Leave for systems that bodily nonverbal and bodily semiverbal just as they'd be for non-systems that are nonverbal and semiverbal.

(really hope made sense, always worry come off wrong, been treated poor for semiverbal struggles before :( sorry if too venty)

Hey you have no need to apologise!

I'm really grateful you resonated with this as a system who's also semiverbal bodily.

I just want to say, you aren't at all dumb okay? I hope you can learn to feel better about yourself and your disabilities and verbality

(Sorry for reply being short CFS is kicking our butt rn)

[1eoness]

hi! could i request something fluffy? maybe leon spoiling reader with some meal, or cuddles? thanks! ❤️

mentioning meals I AM THE REMINDER TO GO GET A SNACK AND REJUVENATE

and yes ofc i love writing fluffy fluffy hehehehe (im kind of uncreative rn so sorry). btw i'm writing this in the same format as the other one but if you want it to be more structured and narrative just uh tell me LOL

content : fluffy leon kennedy x gender neutral!reader (it's written in second person though). pet names lol

synopsis : leon wants to spoil you so he's feeding you and providing you with an army's ware of cuddles >:)

-food is fuel and leon is a fucking engine

-tbh i hc that leon has a big appetite for sweet stuff,,,, i'm sure a big collective of ppl agree bc he's so squishy squishy [what the fuck am i saying idk]

-anyway enough about me gushing on leon.

-YOU. when will you ever take the time to let him spoil you? are you trying to avoid him?:((

-leon is part kidding. he's not mad ofc but sometimes he can't help but get a tiny bit worried about you sometimes.

-see, leon is a firm believer that a person cannot come to their best senses unless their basic/psychological needs are fulfilled. that includes things like eating, or affection—because when your body senses that you're lacking in something, it will use your brain power to signal you that you need to eat or be smothered with affection! hence you can end up feeling burnt out if u dont pay attention to ur love vitals!! >:(

-leon's mindset will always be applied on you because you're his second heart, you're his tough rock and you need to be taken care of!!

-HE KNOWS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING "affection? that's absurd people can still learn attentively and work efficiently without having to be coddled >:(" while yes in a sense its true—but sometimes you just don't realize that what you need is some time to be vulnerable and intimate, which can explain why your emotions feel a lot more heightened recently than usual (which he notices by the way). you've been tense for a while, and leon reasons that you can't just 'move on' from being overwhelmed with work stress and whatnot—you have to relieve it! but enough about theory.

-your hunger for food or affection is like a 7th sense to leon to be honest. while it's not an accurate intuition everytime, he's bound to think of you once every like two minutes.

-leon actually has very clear and high critical thinking skills. this means he is able to remember a lot of things about you even if he only notices them or you mention it once: this includes your comfort drink, where you like to be touched, hell maybe even the MBTI of your favorite character. and he ESPECIALLY knows what food you like. pad thai, sushi, oxtail, jerk chicken, cake, boba, YOU NAME IT HE KNOWS IF YOU LOVE IT OR NOT

-so when it actually came to asking you what you wanted, he'd send a text saying he's downtown and asking you 'what would you like, baby?'. he's careful with his words and doesn't say "do you want me to get you something on the way?" because it means he's giving you a choice >:( when the whole point is to spoil you because you deserve it.

-and if you answer with something vague like 'anything' HE DOESN'T MAKE YOU SPEAK FURTHER he'll just buy what he knows u like and keep the rest in the fridge if you dont wanna eat it :3 well that's what they're for, right?

"oh, my sweet.." his voice was quaint at the sight of you. leon tried his best to be silent when he entered the room, not wanting to sound like he was pitying you, but seeing you half-covered with comforters, mildly upset and your mind in a frazzle has his heart dropping a bit. you were probably thinking about so many things: meeting some deadlines, picking up this and that from the store, computing this... but you just couldn't organize your thoughts. but that's why leon was here.

your head moved to swivel his direction. "leon.." you smile at him weakly.

it was cold in the city tonight. leon places a hefty white plastic bag of your favorite on the nearby surface before he sits down in front of you from the edge of your bed. he takes the brief second of studying his lover's face before he pulls you into a comforting and warm hug. he can't help but pat the back of his sweet baby's head down, and you feel his lips barely nuzzle onto your ear as he mutters. "y're so good to me, baby. you know that?" leon reminds you before kissing the side of your head shortly. you tried to reciprocate it by giving him a nimble kiss on his cheek, which he gratefully accepts with an eager beam on his lips.

his hands slide down your arms in a soft stroke as he lets go of you gently. the rustling of the bed's layers being heard as leon moves a bit to reach for the hefty boxes of food, which he opens for you once he gives you take your utensil/s. leon's happy seeing you eat. it's a form of reassurance to him personally witnessing you getting the fill you deserve after a whole few days of being so busy and rushing everywhere. it's a calming sense to him as you both soak in comfortable silence while he watches you eat. he was caring less that it's 2 in the morning and caring more about the way the color on your face slowly vibrates back onto your features. you seem less tired, just by a tad percentage. it makes him smile to himself knowing he was able to take care of you. " 'm finished." you mumbled with a hum, feeling a little full and having to lie down. fullness makes you sleepy (and leon knows that!) so he has a subtle, cheeky little grin as he leans over and collects your legs with one arm, pulling you to make you lie on your back. he crawls over to lie down next to you, once again pulling you close to him while he wraps his arms around you— one patting and planted gently on your back while the other cradles your head close to his heart. just where you belong... "you tired, baby?" leon asked shortly and your little nod sufficed. his cheek gently rests against the side of the crown of your head. his touch is soft, it's sweet as he rubs and scratches down your back gently. he gently scruffles at your scalp with his other hand's fingertips, and the motions will send you to a hopefully revitalizing sleep ♡. he places a kiss on the top of your head, like a ribbon keeping its gift from falling apart :( he knows at this moment maybe you're thinking you don't deserve him. but that's so far from the truth.

[barghest-land]

i feel like there's a thing i need to talk about, but don't really know how. i can't explain in a cool, mature and complicated way why i feel like shit when other artists bring themselves down while complimenting me and comparing their art to mine. i don't have the right words for that, just please don't do that. neither to urself, or to me.

i wasn't born with a pencil in my hand, it was a very hard and rocky way to get there, where i am now - i'm somewhat skilled, know a lot of things and i work in the industry. but it doesn't mean it was always like that. it doesn't mean i don't understand what hating ur own art means - i used to hate it a lot in the past. i still have a lot of doubts, more emotional, but technical too. there are LOTS of them, i just don't talk about it because often i just don't want to.

there's one big thing i've learned - that comparing urself to others is just.. not good. it's hard not to do that sometimes. but it doesn't give you anything, just more and more doubts.

the way i see things now is simple - when i see artists who are way more skilled than me, or they know how to do things i can't do i just think "if they could - then someday i could do that too". it doesn't mean i don't get sad sometimes when i can't do some cool shit immediately tho. im inpatient, and any skills take a lot of time, practice, and a lot of fails.

that being said... i'm not perfect. at all. i get frustrated at my art too, and not everything goes on the internet because of it. i have a LOT of things to learn, and i still make a lot of mistakes. and i'm still a human with a pencil who's trying hard to learn things

idk what else to say. but sometimes i get messages that are really just upsetting, and sometimes they get crazy enough to put a trigger warning on, if i talk about it more. i don't want people to hate themselves or be upset when they look at my art, this is not what i'm after when i share things :( pls just. don't do that. i feel so bad fr. idk how else to explain all this. i could probably say why im sharing my art in the first place but rn i feel too vulnerable to do so.

maybe someone could phrase it better that me cuz it's just an emotional and messy wall of text. but if you're reading this - thank u

[toastywatchesstevenuniverse]

S1 E45

Rose's Scabbard

Okay so I've learned a lot today.

Also this episode much like the fireworks one made me..

Very uncomfortable. But even more so than that one did.

This episode was just......really fucking sad man.

First off:

None of the gems seemed to like Greg so far (Except Amethyst) but Pearl especially seemed particularly not very fond of him. I kinda didn't think much about that. I just assumed it was because "Greg is a slob & Pearl doesn't like that he's a slob." And honestly given his current state in the show rn, I ain't exactly too fond of the man either. Though the winter episode definitely made me like him more.

But uh....now I'm starting to think Pearl's distaste for him isn't as simple as that. Because Pearl....

This whole episode Pearl was being like....

Okay look we can't word this in any other way: PEARL WAS BEING A MASSIVE HOMO™ THE ENTIRE TIME LIKE GOD DAMN SHE WAS GAY™ AS FUCK ABOUT ROSE THIS EPISODE LIKE WOAH OKAY NOW I GET WHATS GOING ON HERE. PEARL IS A MASSIVE FUCKING LESBIAN™ FOR ROSE & NOW THAT THIS REVEAL HAS HIT. Well to be honest that actually explains a lot. Like, huh, yeah actually this makes sense & explains a lot about why she's like this.

Guys when I called her a Gay™ Disaster™ all the way back in the start I wasn't expecting to actually be correct. I was like half joking when I said that????

I WAS TRYING TO BE FUNNY I WASNT TRYING TO BE A PROPHET HERE WHAT THE FUCK WHY WAS I ACTUALLY CORRECT¿???????¿¿¿¿¿???

I WAS JUST BEING A GOOF WHY DID I END UP HAVING THE GIFT OF PROPHECY???? FUCK OFF APOLLO.

PEARL & ROSE WERE APPARENTLY 'VERY CLOSE FRIENDS'. ROOMMATES OR WHATNOT. SHE EVEN FUCKING BLUSHED & HAD THE QUEER™ EYELASHES. DAMN PEARL I THINK YOU MIGHT BE SUFFERING FROM A CASE OF BEING A FUCKING SIMP, YOU FUCKING LESBIAN™.

MY GAYDAR™ IS OFF THE CHARTS RIGHT NOW. THIS MF IS GAY™ AS FUCK. 💀 THIS IS BEYOND NORMAL GAY™. THIS IS ADVANCED GAY™.

So idk what happened that led to Rose vetting with Greg but yeah, suddenly I'm realizing Pearl disliking Greg is definitely a case of her being....

Well. And excuse me for the vulgar metaphor here but I can't resist.

Pearl is bitter because Greg was the one who got to put the sword in Rose's Scabbard when she wanted to put her sword in there in the first place.

And honestly if I lost out to someone like Greg who....let's face it is kind of a pretty shit dad so far. Yeah I'd be bitter too. It actually makes the fact she's the one trying the hardest to be Steven's mother make more sense & honeslty it makes her even more sympathetic. He's the closest thing she has left of Rose & the fact she's so caring & all just....if Rose had to sacrifice herself for Steven to exist, the fact Pearl isn't resentful towards Steven at all for that is so nice. Because it'd be so easy for the writers to just have her be like that for cheap drama but no, they don't. Thank you for that writers. That's so wise to avoid that bullshit bc I'd hate this episode if they went that direction....look idk how to word this rn but damn Pearl has some serious emotional issues. And Amethyst had some trauma reveal a few episodes ago too....

So if this pattern continues....

Guys I don't even know if I want to find out what fucked up shit Garnet is going through because I feel like hers is probably gonna be the most fucked up of the lot. Like I don't even think I WANT to find out what shit she's carrying in her head. I mean....like, fuck all of these people need therapy & a hug.

Anyways Pearl was definitely being shitty by the halfway mark (I mean what she said to Steven was legit fucked up I ain't gonna lie, like, damn, you said that to a CHILD, Pearl. Holy shit. I get that you're upset about the wife thing but he's literally a child I think he's probably upset about his mom being gone just as much as you are.) but y'know-

Okay quick side note: Amethyst I get that Pearl was being shitty but you have no right to be talking shit about her like you didn't just do some pretty fucked up shit just a couple episodes ago. Neither of y'all are in ANY position to be acting all high & mighty. Pearl just SAID something but you straight up fucking used your transformation magic to torment a man about his dead wife. You don't have any fucking high ground here girl. Garnet is the only one of you that has any room to be acting above it. She hasn't done anything like that so far so she's the only one that gets to talk shit. Sit tf down ma'am.

ahem, anyways Amethyst was being shitty too just a bit ago. And like I said then: when you're that mentally fucked it leads to that kinda behavior. It's not an excuse but it does mean you know there's a legit reason for why they'd act out like this. And it's not entirely their fault that they have a tendency to be that irrational. But Pearl, like Amethyst, you can tell she felt remorse.

Again, the way they resolve it without a drawn out argument...but instead it's just Pearl openly showing her vulnerability & Steven just showing her a sign of affection. No argument. No yelling. Just a genuine moment of sincere emotion. Steven understood. While what she said was horrible, he gets why she said it. They both miss her. But they have eahcother. I am going to fucking sob typing this oh my god.

Yeah this episode made me cry a lot. Absolutely stellar episode. And the ending was just beautiful.

Further cementing the fact that Pearl is my favorite. I can't wait to see how much the show uses her emotional baggage to rip my heart in half & stomp on it mercilessly.

Second best episode of the entire show so far. Only just slightly behind 'On The Run'. (That one just hit me on a more personal level so it still has my heart by the throat.)

[sabrinasfeather]

Me rn: Hun, I tried explaining in a respectful matter why you’re Gale takes are weird interpretations but even agreed with you at times. You’ve basically just said the same shit for 3 separate posts, all of which I counteracted. Lmao Gale is the entitled nice guy? I don’t think he was the one who ghosted Katniss and threw statues at her when she kissed someone else (But wait, remember who DID that 🤗) And I really don’t get why you’ve brought up the beach kiss? That doesn’t make any sense. You’re really skewing the narrative and hold Gale to far different standards to Peeta.

no I do not hold double standard because the difference is Peeta realizes he was wrong and apologizes and changes his behavior Gale doesn't. if Peeta continue to act the way Gale was I would not be on either team. also he didn't throw the statue because of the kiss he was mad because Katniss and Haymitch because they didn't tell him about Snow's visit and because of that innocent people got killed because he gave money to rue and Thresh family like seriously didn't you read the books.

(And as for your other ask, you brought up what Liam Hemsworth said? I love Liam but Idgaf what his take is on Katniss and Gale bc he and I can have different interpretations! I don’t agree or really care what he thinks of it lol. You clearly just want the last word, have at it. It’s weird as hell that Peeta manipulating Katniss into a relationship, stalking her, ghosting her, and making her extremely uncomfortable at times is sweet and romantic, yet Gale stopping Katniss from kissing him makes him the devil. Goodbye)

this is a quote from Peeta catching Fire( He takes a deep breath. "Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."

There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just being friends," he says.) Peeta was also very upset about the engagement as well he didn't want to get married like that because he knew Katniss didn't want it and he respected her boundaries. he also got her a locket with gale inside it and was basically telling her I know you love him and I want you to create a life with him and I want you to be happy even if it's not with me. does that sound like he's being manipulative does that's sound like he's being a nice guy does that sound like he's trying to force a relationship on her. No so I have no clue how you got that idea but it really just goes to show you weren't really paying attention. but you know who was actually being pushy with a romantic relationship with Katniss Gale and here's proof.

("Tell me about it," I say. "If I could've just hated him in the arena, we all wouldn't be in this mess now. He'd be dead, and I'd be a happy little victor all by myself."

"And where would we be, Katniss?" asks Gale.)

and mind you this happened right after katniss told him she can't be even think about a relationship right now because she's scared of getting killed and her family getting killed and mind you this also happened right after the quarter quells was announced. so maybe it's Gale who's actually pushing for a relationship not Peeta. also Peeta wasn't stalking again I have no idea how you even got that seriously the boy just had a crush.

and as for the Liam Hemsworth thing the reason I even included because his interpretation is actually correct but you know what don't take my word for it take the words of the author Susan Collins herself.

(Suzanne Collins, who authored “The Hunger Games” series, seemed to echo Hemsworth’s sentiments. In an interview with The New York Times, she shared that Gale and Peeta function “less as two points on a love triangle, more as two perspectives in the just-war debate.” Collins continued on to share what the characters represent. “Gale, because of his experiences and temperament, tends toward violent remedies. Peeta’s natural inclination is toward diplomacy. Katniss isn’t just deciding on a partner; she’s figuring out her worldview.”) so I think you get my point and it's not that she's trying to say you shouldn't fight or anything but it's important to not cross that line in times of war and that's what Gale did and that's why they don't end up together. so I really think you should just go ahead reread the books because it's obvious you weren't paying attention .

Okay, you do realize throwing a statue at someone is pretty weird right? No offense but that is legit a warning sign for abusive behavior. Sure, Peeta apologizes, but A) He only did it when he was forced to interact with Katniss on the train. If he didn’t, he still would’ve been refusing to interact with her. B) Peeta does say this after finding about Katniss and Gale’s kiss.

“Was that the only time you kissed Gale”. After Katniss told Peeta she was personally threatened by Snow, Peeta’s biggest concern is that if she only kissed Gale one time. He also seemed pretty threatened about Gale in the 1st book, getting mad at Katniss when finding out Gale wasn’t related to her and he also gruffly says “She’s just worried about her boyfriend (Gale)” when talking about the love act.

Gale does try to help Peeta as well. Remember when he told Katniss he was still keeping her alive after the 1st interview? Or when he helped trained him for the games and told her he was pretty likable? And again, how he risked his life to save Peeta, played ‘real or not real’ to help with his hijacking, and he gave him the nightlock pill, which almost put Gale in the same fate as Peeta.

Also, the “Where would we be quote” again, doesn’t mean a romantic relationship, that is just interpretation. Considering that Gale doesn’t even talk about it afterwards, he likely was thinking about how Katniss wouldn’t have to be in the games again.

Also babes, Suzanne Collings legit blamed Gale for justifiable actions in a war (Taking over the Nut) and a decision that wasn’t his orders (The Capital Plaza) I’ve read these books numerous times, thank you very much. People are allowed to have opinions, if you can’t handle that maybe you should lock yourself in your room and cry about it. Or touch grass, or get a job, you clearly need it. Also, you harassing me with Peeta has genuinely only made me ship Everthorne more and hate Peeta more too 🫶

[call-sign-jinx]

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw - I’m here honey

Summary - Bradley Bradshaw pisses you off to your limit. You lose it with him because of stuff going on back home and end up in his arms.

Warnings - swearing, fluff, making out

A/N - the reader has a manchester accent xoxo

bradley "rooster" bradshaw x fem!reader

Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw. Where do I even begin?

Well, why don't I start off with, he is a cocky arrogant mother fucker. God he makes me want to claw my eyes out everyone time he flirts with a girl. I mean, what do they even see in him? Sure, he's fit n all. But he's just an arrogant prick that thinks he can get what he wants.

He just writhes in it. He loves it. He's just a twat overall to be honest. and he knows just how to get under my skin. Like right now.

Me and the Dagger Squad are at the Hard Deck, and oh my fucking days, he's just showing off as much as he can. And everyone knows how much I don't like pricks like him. People who show off just for attention. Like, why? To some dumb fuckers he's amazing, but to everyone else, he's just a douchebag.

"Hey! Bradshaw!" Hangman shouted across the room to Rooster who just so happened to be chatting up some blonde bird who probably didn't even have enough brain cells to know that he just wanted a shag tonight. "Come have a round of darts with me Rooster!"

Bradshaw bid farewell to the clueless girl and sauntered over to the rest of the Dagger Squad. He gave me an obnoxious wink which earned an eyeroll from me. Phoenix saw then walked over to sit on the stool next to me.

"You know he just wants a reaction from you? He loves the attention and you know it." I rolled my eyes with a smirk. She gave me a knowing look.

"Yeah, I know. But he just aggravates me tha much tha I can't do much bout it. It's jus automatic now init?" Phoenix laughed at my words. Probably cause of my accent. She loves it so much.

"Then try not to give him a reaction. Like every time he says something stupid or that you don't like. Shut your eyes, take a deep breath, and ignore it." Her advice was actually really good. But not for me.

"Easier said than done Nat. I've just grown up to react to every little thing that happens. Probably the household I were raised in." She patted my shoulder and chuckled a bit.

"I think I'm gonna go outside for a sec. For a toot." A toot means vape. I literally had to explain this about 10,000 times to Phoenix.

She chuckles then gestures to the door. I then walked outside to sit on the bench and got my vape out of my pocket. I took a drag then turned on my phone to reply to my little sister's message that I should have answered hours ago. She was texting me, updating me about how our Nana was back in England. She got diagnosed with cancer a few months ago then started chemo a week after. It's been draining for everyone. And I can't even go to see her because I live so fucking far away.

When I opened the text, my heart dropped and my whole body had gone numb.

she's gone Y/N/N, ik u can't come rn cos ur on duty n everything but i jus thought u needed to know. come as soon as u want xxxxxx

I just sat there. Numb. Frozen. No emotion. No sadness. Nothing. Nada. Absolutely fuck all. I couldn't think straight. Why didn't I at least go see her once? I didn't even get to say goodbye to her. Didn't get to tell her I got into Top Gun which has, well had, always been her dream for me. She wanted me to do it to prove all them dumb ass men that a woman could do what they do but better.

And now, she'll never know. She probably hated me before she died cause I didn't visit her. What if she was upset about it? What if she thought I forgot about her? What if she thought that I stopped caring about her? So many thoughts were running through my head. Different things being said in my head. But they all went quiet when I saw Phoenix walk through the door to outside. Probably to come check on me, God knows how long I've just been sat there staring at my phone. At the text.

"Hey Y/C/S, you okay?" She had a trace of worry laced in her voice and expression. I gave her a tight-lipped smile and nodded.

"I'm great thank you." I faked a happy smile as I got up and gestured for her to follow me back into the Hard Deck.

-------------------------------------------

It's been about a week since I got the text from Y/L/S/N. I haven't even reacted how someone would normally react to their family member dying. I didn't even reply back to Y/L/S/N. Just left her on opened.

I just acted like everything was okay. No one seemed to notice except one person. Bradshaw. I could tell by the way he looks at me that he knows something is wrong. But he hasn't asked.

Also, I found out I won't be able to make it to the funeral. Which is great. I'll just say my goodbyes another time. Hopefully Nana will understand. She always did.

Right now, we're having a briefing for the day. Which consists of absolutely fuck all, no flying, just some theory work we need to get done apparently.

I came in late so I sadly had to sit next to Bradshaw whose been looking at me like I'm an idiot for the past week. And it's actually quite unnerving.

After the briefing finished, I went straight to the unisex bathrooms to wash my face and clear my head for at least a few minutes. That was until I heard the door open. I looked to the source of the sound to see Bradshaw. Great. Why does he always come near me at the worst times? It's like he has a sixth sense about this shit.

"Hey Y/C/S, are you okay? You seem a bit off." He had worry and concern plastered on his face and in his voice. I nodded by head as I looked at the ground.

"Why? Why do you even care? It's not like we're friends or anything? And it's none of your business anyway?" I only glanced up at him for half a second before looking back down. It's tiring playing this whole "I'm happy and nothing's wrong!" facade. It's tiring keeping a smile on my face. Making the same type of jokes as if nothing has happened. Cause something has happened. And I haven't even reacted in the proper, normal way.

"I just wanna know. Cause I've gotta be honest... I'm a little worried about you. Something about you's changed. You seem a little less yourself." I'm sorry, but how the fuck has Rooster, out of everyone I've been around for the past week, noticed but no one else fucking has?

"Nothing is wrong Rooster. And even if there was, why would I talk about it with you? All you do and seem to like doing is piss me off." I finally looked up at him. Annoyance clear on my face.

"I only do that shit because I thought we were both joking around with each other. And I thought we were friends. But I guess I was wrong about that." He looked me dead in the eye then walked out.

I looked back in the mirror and made myself look presentable before going back outside from the toilets.

-------------------------------------------------------

It's now been 2 months after the funeral. I'm a little gutted that I couldn't be there to say goodbye. But obviously I wouldn't have been allowed to go, I'm on duty still and I hadn't even told anyone about it. Not even Phoenix. And it's gonna stay that way for as long as I can make it.

I was in the changing room having a shower. Luckily, I had made it short cause as I got out of the shower I heard someone come into the changing rooms.

It was Bradshaw. Yet again.

"Alright Y/N, I was going to let you tell someone at your own pace but just tell me now. What has gotten you so upset that you're just acting like a robot? And don't give me any of that bullshit 'nothing's wrong and I'm fine' crap because I won't believe you." After he finished I got right back to getting changed. I didn't even acknowledge his chasing after me when I went into a cubicle for some privacy.

As soon as I had gotten out the cubicle to put my shoes on, Bradshaw was standing right outside.

"For fuck sake Bradshaw! Why won't you just leave me alone about it?" I looked him dead in the eye with nothing short of anger. I've been feeling a lot of that lately. And every single time is because of Bradley fucking Bradshaw.

"Because you're acting like someone's fucking died! You're acting all numb and shit!" As soon as he finished his sentence, I finally broke down. After fuck knows how many months of my body not allowing me to even react in a normal way after finding out my Nana had cancer. I had finally broke down.

I dropped to my knees and curled up in a ball as I leaned against the wall. Tear after tear after tear. I couldn't stop. Even if I wanted to.

I looked up at the ceiling until I felt hands on my arms rubbing up and down on them. I looked down and saw Bradshaw, sat on the ground in front of me looking at me dead in the eyes. Something came over me and I just threw myself at him into a hug. He instantly wrapped his arms around me as he tried his best to comfort me.

He was shushing me like I was a crying baby, which I practically was if I'm being honest, and telling me that it's all gonna be okay and that he's here with me. After about 10 minutes of solid crying, I calmed down and looked up at Bradshaw.

We were close. Like very close. Close enough that I could feel his breath fan over my face and see the little hazel specs in his eyes. and all the scars on his cheeks and neck. I scanned his face as he did the same with mine. Then I realised. We were still in each other's embrace. But neither one of us attempted to pull away.

"Thank you Bradley." I said to him with the first genuine, but small, smile I had done in months. As I looked at him more, I realised how gorgeous he actually was. And how much of my type he was.

"No problem sweetheart." That nickname. That fucking nickname shouldn't have affected me the way it did. It made my whole body feel warm. It made blood rise to my cheeks.

In that moment, I don't know what came over me but I quickly pressed my lips against his. But he froze, at first I thought it was just shock but after a few seconds he was still frozen. I quickly pulled away and pulled myself out of his embrace and stood up.

"Fuck. I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. I don't know why I even did that. By your reaction you didn't like it either." I started to chuckle nervously. Why the fuck did I do that? I've never liked him, not even in a friend way so why the fuck did I choose to do that? I kept on rambling on and on with myself, saying my thoughts out loud for Rooster to hear.

"Y/N." I ignored him and kept on waffling on with myself.

"Y/N." He said a bit more stern at me. I still ignored him and kept talking.

"Y/N!" That finally got my attention. I looked up at him, on the brink of another few tears coming out of my eyes.

"What?" I looked at him softly and looked for any expression other than one that said 'I don't like you, and I didn't like that kiss either so please leave me alone' because that would just make my day worse.

"You shouldn't be sorry. I've wanted to do that ever since we started Top Gun honey. I was just really shocked that you did it because you've never even hinted you liked me. So... could we do that again?" All I did was nod before connecting our lips again.

Bradley wrapped his arms around my waist as I did the same but behind his neck. The kiss was slow, soft. Just the way I liked it. He began to move his hands and caressed the sides of my body. I slid my hands up his neck into his hair and pulled on it slightly, which earned a slight moan from him.

We both pulled away for air. I looked into his eyes and it felt different with him now. Felt nicer. Comfier. He smiled at me as we both came out of the embrace.

“Do you come over to my house? After work?” I asked him as I dipped down to grab my bag. He nodded with a happy smile.

“Yeah, I’d like that. That’s be great Y/N.” I gave Bradley a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek before practically skipping out the changing rooms.

-------------------------------------------------------

After work, I just wanted to drive home, have a shower and go to sleep. I didn’t have any plans anyway, did I? Just to check I looked at my calendar and had nothing. So I just walked back to my car and started to drive home.

As I got to my door, I rummaged through my bag, found my keys, and unlocked the door. I couldn’t even be arsed to have a shower so I flopped onto my couch and lost it again. I began balling my eyes out and shoved my face into my pillow.

I must’ve forgot to lock the door because I heard the door open and quickly sat up, alert. Not knowing who or what just opened my front door. As soon as I saw Bradley turn round the corner, I tried to wipe my tears away without him seeing.

“You okay honey?” I just nodded my head weakly as he came and sat down next to me. I leaned my head on his shoulder as I wrapped my arm around his stomach. He wrapped his around my shoulder and stroked it reassuringly.

“I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to actually react to it.” He looked at me confused with his brows furrowed. Of course he didn’t know, I hadn’t told him and now he probably thinks I’m weird.

“Taken this long for you to react to what?” That’s when the waterworks came back yet again. Why the fuck did they have to start at the slightest mention of my Nana being dead? Gone forever?

“3 months ago my Nana died. I just didn’t react. No crying. No being sad. Nothing. Literally nothing. And then when you said I’m acting like someone died, it flipped a switch. Like it turned my reactions on again. And I- I- I just want her back. I didn’t even get to fucking say goodbye to her Bradley! Imagine that, not being by their side when they’re gone. Let alone being in a whole different fucking country!” I sat up and threw my cushion across the room, angry at myself for not even trying to see her. I guess I didn’t want to. I didn’t want the image of her being up and healthy to go away so I just stayed here. In America.

“Oh honey. It’s not your fault.” I shook my head vigorously. I stood up and looked at his form on the couch.

“But Bradley it is my fault. She had all these plans for me. And when I found out she got cancer, I didn’t even try to go visit her. I didn’t want to. I never made any effort whatsoever.” At that, I dropped to my knees tears coming one after the other.

Bradley was quick to move to hug my and comfort me. “Don’t worry Y/N. I’m here honey. For whatever you need. And it is not your fault. At all. I get why you didn’t want to see her, you didn’t want the image of her being happy and healthy to be replaced by someone that isn’t her but looks like her.” He rubbed my arms then picked me up and sat back on the couch with me on his lap. I tightly hugged him, not wanting to let go in fear of him disappearing.

“Thank you Bradley. Thank you so fucking much. And I’m sorry for being a dick to you.” I apologised profusely as I wiped my tears away and smiled up at him.

He kissed me on my forehead and smiled at me. “Oh honey. It’s alright. And I think I was the dick in this situation. Because all I did was show off to you like a pretentious prick. All because I wanted your attention.” And that’s when it hit me. He wanted my attention.

“W-what?” He chuckled at my confusion.

“I tried to get your attention in every way I could, because the first time I saw you, I just thought ‘wow, she’s fucking gorgeous’ and I couldn’t get you out of my head since.” I looked at him with confusion which then changed to something else that I can’t quite put my finger on.

Instead of replying I just placed my lips on his in a hungry yet soft manner. He quickly reciprocated this and placed his hands on the back of my head to deepen the kiss. After a while it turned into a full blown make out session. Like the ones I used to have back in high school. And probably the same for him.

We both pulled away at the same time, and as I scanned his face, all he did was stare into my eyes with something that looked like love? I don't know, my experience comes from cunts who just wanted a shag so yeah.

"Be my girlfriend." Bradley looked at me with a seriousness I've never seen on his face before. I raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" I gave a questioning look when he shook his head and chuckled to himself.

"I'm sorry- I- I mean, will you be my girlfriend?" He said with the same look in his eyes as before. I pondered on the question until I had my answer.

"Yes, only if you tell and show all them girls that you're now mine." Bradley gave me a cheeky smirk and he lay me down on the couch and placed a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Of course honey. I'd love to do that for you." We both smiled at each other until our lips were connected once again.

[rashomonss]

hi!! i've followed around since ch4 of a humans wrath and i am so proud of you for coming this far in your journey!!! your writing is so heart wrenching and it's so comforting in a way that it's such a good material to come to if i want a good cry!!!

so i've come forward to please request "You can't even look me in the eyes, can you?" with beel and it's like trauma of ch16 with them being twins and all.

it's fine if you don't accept it!! i just want to show my appreciation for your writing as it's rlly rlly good!!!

omg you’ve followed me for a good while, i feel so honored that you still enjoy my work!! ♡

I’m so glad you think that honestly, it just makes me so happy, I’m crying rn anon, if I knew who you were I’d follow you back rn bc you’re so sweet (╥﹏╥)

ily sm and I just want you to know I’m so thankful for your support, truly, I hope you continue to enjoy my work as well as a humans wrath! ( ˊᵕˋ )♡

also you meant lesson 16 in nightbringer right?? because i was a bit confused for a second, bc im a bit dumb, but anyways i did enjoy writing this quite a bit so i hope you do enjoy! (also I was being feeling nice so this one ended with comfort)

love ya! ♡

warnings: possible nightbringer lesson 16 spoilers

“please don’t blame yourself”

You had canceled the summoning spell in Lucifer’s office and thankfully the banshee was nowhere to be found. However the trouble didn’t end there, in fact it had only just begun.

Belphie rushed over to his twin and asked profusely if he was okay, due to him looking as if he was going to fall over from sheer stress.

Beel nodded and stayed silent as Satan explained to the rest of his brothers the two different circumstances in which you hear a banshee cry. This caused an uproar and Belphie began to question his brother with a concerned expression.

Beel answered every question his twin had, but not once did he dare to look at him. And as he finished the story of what had happened, he could feel Belphie’s eyes burn a hole in his head due to how much he was staring at him.

“So you’ve heard one cry before…you’ve never mentioned anything about that…” Belphie said, stepping closer to his twin.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep it from you, I don’t want you to be upset”

“Beel, you misunderstand! I’m not mad at you at all, none of this was your fau-“

“If I had known what that was then I could’ve told Lucifer and maybe we wouldn’t have lost Lilith…” Beel had said.

You heard the strain in his voice as he spoke to his twin, each word that left his mouth was laced with regret and guilt…but why was that? It wasn’t his fault.

“Beel it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t have know-“ Belphie pleaded.

Beel cut his twin off mid sentence and raised his voice slightly. “But I should’ve. It’s all my fault Belphie, I could’ve prevented this.”

“No you couldn’t have!”

“Yes I could’ve! Maybe then we all wouldn’t be down here, maybe then we’d still be happily up in the Celestial Realm with Lilith. If I had known we all could’ve seen her smile again. She’d be here with us now, instead of facing a cruel death”

Beel’s voice echoed through Lucifer’s study as all his brothers looked at him with mixed reactions. None of them had ever heard him raise his voice in such a way, and it shocked most of them into silence, including his twin.

Asmo, Mammon, and Levi looked to you for assistance after his outburst, while Satan looked at Beel with an expression that held a mixture of hurt and resentment.

Belphie finally looked at Beel with a sad expression and furrowed his eyebrows slightly. “Beel, you need to understand that none of this was your fault. It was never your fault to begin with.”

“You don’t understand. I had the chance to change things but I didn’t. I didn’t come through for you when you needed me, now because of that all of you have to suffer because I never said anything. I caused this Belphie”

“Beel..” his twin said with such sorrow.

You’ve heard the twins talk about things and slightly argue with each other before, but they always end up getting over it or solving the situation before it gets worse. This time you're not so sure.

The dejected atmosphere that engulfed Lucifer’s study was so thick you began to feel suffocated. And you could tell you weren’t the only one; as the rest of the brothers watched the twins speak, each began to slowly back away towards you for reassurance.

“Ever since the night of the dinner party and what Lucifer said, I keep thinking about what happened…and I wish I could go back and change things, so that this never happened in the first place.”

“Beel..!”

“We wouldn’t have lost Lilith, Belphie…and you wouldn’t have had to suffer so much.”

“What do you mean..?” Belphie asked softly as he looked at his twin with an uneasy expression.

“I know you feel guilty because you survived and she didn’t…”

At this point Belphie stood there in silence as he looked at the ground for an answer, but nothing came to mind. This throat ran dry.

“Beel please look at me…” Belphie asked, stepping closer to his twin. He realized that during their whole conversation Beel hadn’t looked him in the eyes once.

Beel however took a few weary steps back as Belphie approached him. His gaze continued to be locked on the floor as he stood there silently avoiding his twin.

“Beel, please just look at me, that’s all I’m asking right now. Please.” Belphie pleaded.

Beel shook his head as his gaze reminded on the floor. You swore you could see tears begin form in his eyes.

You watched the youngest demon brother completely break down in front of you when his twin continued to ignore his pleads. You had never seen Belphie like that…ever. This was a new side of him you were now experiencing, but you can’t say you exactly like the broken expression he was currently wearing.

“You can’t even look me in the eyes can you?”

“I’m sorry Belphie…it should have been me, not Lilith-“

“Shut up! Don’t you dare say that again. Don’t you dare think that ever, you hear me, Lilith decided to fight that day because she wanted to, just like all of us. So don’t you ever give me that crap you hear!” Belphie screamed.

Beel’s eyes widened slightly and he finally looked up to see his twin with an upset expression as tears streamed down his face.

“Belphie-“

“Enough Beel…all that matters as of right now is that you’re here with all of us okay?”

After Belphie spoke, you then added to his statement and reassured the Avatar of Gluttony, as tears streamed down his face when you spoke to him softly.

The rest of his brothers, including Satan, assured him that what happened was meant to happen, and that all that matters right now in the “present” is that they all have each other. Belphie smiled and hugged Beel, claiming he wouldn’t trade anything in the world for him as Beel tightly hugged him back while a few stray tears fell down his cheeks.

Soon all of you joined the group hug and smiled happily as Beel wiped the tears from his eyes and thanked everyone.

[explorevenus]

Hiiii! I was out all day so I didn't get to drop in and respond to 🫧, nor did I get the chance to ask my silly littol questions that I'm always stacking up on 💀 (every time I don't have the time to send an ask, I write down my questions in my notes and ask when I can 😭) so I def wanna get to that soon, BUT! Before I do, I wanted to check in on you and make sure you were okay :(

I saw that you and tea made posts explaining yourselves in regards to some angry anons and it made me so upset. Like,, it's literal fiction 😭 it's not that srs. the fact that you two had to even make those posts to break things down for them is insane, like- Yall are taking things way too literal, of COURSE kidnapping is bad. Of COURSE stalking is bad. nobody said it was something that was condoned- it's literally for a fictional story because the plot is based around said dark topics, like?? 😭 kinda the point- idk I just felt the need to jump at your guys' aid bc it just upset me that you guys had to even explain yourselves ☹️ they shouldn't be interacting with things that they aren't comfortable with- the tags are RIGHT there. And also?? Idk like- if yall are mad about these fics, then keep that same energy with literally every dark media ever produced, like???? be so srs rn.

Like it's fine if yall don't wanna read stuff like this, nobody is forcing you- it's not everybody's cup of tea, I get that. but don't spew hate just bc you personally can't bring yourself to read it??

You don't have to post this if you don't want to, honey! Especially if you want some time away from this topic, no worries! I will understand <33 Just wanted to send some love your way because I can understand how frustrating or possibly even scary/discouraging it is to receive stuff like that- but your anons love you and we have your back! So please please continue to do ur thing, bb 🫶🏻🫶🏻 WE LOVE YOUR CONTENT RAAAAHHHHH 🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣

(This also goes out to dollrxst and nexyswrites if they see this <33 started with venus' yandere fic and expanded to you two HAHA) (+ but again, if you don't wanna post, don't be shy to share my message with them 🫡!!)

bottom line, don't let these bum ass bozos get to yall grrrrrr, your anon bbs got you 🫶🏻🫶🏻

MWAH TAKE IT EASY, MY LOVES!! 🩷🩷

- 🐕

okay first of all dog anon you're the best and i love you ;w; cc'ing @dollrxst and @nexyswrites just in case they need some words of encouragement <3

secondly i am perfectly fine, thank you for checking in <3 people are gonna do what they're gonna do and that includes taking fanfiction way too seriously lmfao. it's unfortunate and a bit annoying but ultimately it doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things, i've done my due diligence in tagging my shit and putting proper warnings on everything so if people wanna get upset about what i write, that's their prerogative lol

thanks for sticking around and checkin in and being supportive and sweet <3

[golbrocklovely]

gonna need to vent for a moment...

sometimes i wonder why i haven't come out to my mom/family as bi, just bc it's a part of myself i accept so casually.

but then i have arguments with my mom bc she watches too much fox news and now thinks trans athletes are an actual problem in america rn instead of just some bs the right wing crazies are hyper-focusing on bc they can't do it to the gays again (yet) since most americans are either okay with, know someone, or are gay themselves. (obviously this doesn't go for every state/county/town in america and also hugely depends on whether or not the person is a poc, plus a bunch of other factors too.)

either way, it just angers every fiber in my being knowing i can't make my mother understand why her words hurt so much more than she realizes. and i don't feel unsafe to come out, but the reason i hold myself back (besides the obvious) is just… i don't want to have to explain myself. i don't want to hear "are you sure you like girls" or "it's just a phase" and shit like that. i already don't feel "bi enough" as it is since i haven't been with a girl. but i also haven't been with a guy so i'm not even straight enough either.

i just want to be able to say i'm bi, and that be it. like saying my favorite color; you wouldn't argue with me or question why i like what i like. you just… accept it.

but that ain't gonna happen so i'm probably not gonna tell her, ever.

it just upsets me to hear her say "who taught you to think this way" and all i can think is... you taught me. you taught me to be selfless and care for others. you taught me to love ppl. why have you become so bitter towards those that hurt the most now? be angry at the ppl that hold you down, the rich, the powerful, the greedy.

not the fucking marginalize groups. not my trans siblings.

[trentskis]

hi claudia! as a spurs fan i agree with you that a lot of the language used to talk about bukayo today (and obviously in general, it's just today it's been apparent from spurs fans bc nld) has been nasty and i'm disappointed in some fellow spurs fans tbh. i understand banter and i understand getting heated during a derby but it's like why is he so often the main target? people will say it's cause he's the most important arsenal player rn, cause he's used madders' celebration etc and yeah ok the main players usually get the most heat, yeah ok i also find the celebration copying annoying, but none of that can explain away certain comments that are definitely charged. they might not be explicitly antiblack (or at least those i have seen weren't) but you're right when you say saying certain things about a black player is different than saying them about a white player AND also that there wasn't nearly the same amount of vitriol against white arsenal players. made me very uncomfortable. regarding your post about sonny i understand being hurt by that, bc i'll admit i was a bit too, simply bc i love him so much and i don't like that kind of comment (in general but especially) about players i love. but that said yeah i don't think it's the same. you said you say that about players often and while yes heungmin gets A LOT of racist hate and i'll always be the first to call that out, how does one kys comment on the kys website mean you're holding double standards or smth and only caring about racism when it's against arsenal players.. idk it doesn't look like that to me. i don't follow many arsenal fans so i can't say if there was sonny hate that i didn't see, but i can say i've seen multiple comments about bukayo's behavior on the pitch which made it seem like he's a disgusting player and that to me doesn't reflect reality and while again i understand hating players during a derby and he's the goalscorer and all, it just DOES seem targeted, even if it might not be meant not be that way. when multiple ppl in a fanbase gang up on a black player that's never a good look. and bukayo has BEEN the target of antiblackness, the people saying shit know that and therefore should at least be aware of the weight of their words. anyway, sorry for the rant, i've been following you for a while and this isn't even to defend you specifically, it's just i've noticed that shit too and it doesn't make me proud to be a spurs fan, and i think you're generally an honest person and level headed and i'm glad you talked about this bc football rivalries are fun and games but it's just a sport, no need to get nasty over it. just wanted to give my 2 cents as a spurs fan, you can also not post this if you don't want to, that's fine of course! much love 💖 - nico

thank u for taking the time to say all this nico i really appreciate it!!! 💓 and i'm really sorry that i upset u with that post, i will be more mindful about throwing that comment around in the future and thank u for making me aware and considering it 💓

i'm glad you feel this way! sometimes when i see posts like that and everyone seems fine with it/is laughing along i think that i'm overthinking/overreacting or something so it's nice to hear that you think some of the comments were too much today too. i follow lots of arsenal blogs and didn't personally see any son hate (actually there weren't really any comments about any player apart from a couple about romero) but i'm definitely aware it exists and have seen it before on twitter, many people direct racism towards him like its second nature and its horrible. i hope there is more understanding overall of the racism players experience and how someone can contribute to that kind of language whether they intend to or not. thank u again for sending love u lots 💖💖

[hazzaisagoober]

Thoughts on elite6:

I have a lot but I don't have any working braincells to help me put them into words.

The ending with patrivan, Blanco's and Manu - I need it to be said on record I think they can make a redemption and have them end up together. I see the door being left opened for Patrick to return I SEE it all. Do I think it'll happen? That's a WHOLE other story folks.

The writers can do whatever they want but based on track record I feel like they won't. Now I can remain hopeful but I think it's just so I can get through the day rn.

Fact of the matter is the audio that Patrick leaves for Ivan, beautifully heartbreaking, seems very much like goodbye. He said "maybe one day we will see each other down the road" or something to that affect. Which for me could mean two things, sure bring his character back. Or it be an out there kind of "you never know" and kinda as fanservice that they didn't end it on us.

Secondly, this ending reminded me a lot of Nadia and Guzman's breakup, it's been a while but I vaguely remember it being like right now this doesn't work. So again a "we will see in the future" comment. And third, the drive away. This is what cinched it for me. The car driving by was the same thing they did for Ander and Guzman's exit. The smile from Patrick, most characters who've left have done that. It's a nod to the fans and a goodbye.

And lastly, the way the whole family was seen leaving like they're bandaged up and back together again, much like how they arrived. So I saw the end of the Blanco story, I don't see just one of them coming back. It would seem weird, and it seems like they're "okay".

This is currently how I feel, only thing going on in my head rn. Bc yes they did breakup our babies but I think I'm more upset that Manu/Patrick may not return, bc it makes me think this was it. They wrote that beautiful character out in such a sad way, no happiness for him. Yes I know the plus is he looked happy yeah but idk. However, look at some of the OG's character exits, he could've been dealt a worse hand tbh. And just thinking about him not being back and it seeming this is final is worse than the breakup somehow and I can't explain why.

Anyway I rambled the majority of that I apologize. I'm trying to organize my thoughts so I can sleep.

[the-dragon-hearted]

Brainstorming on the Tartaros Arc rn for The Dragon Father rewrite, and you see, I'm torn. So, to fix this problem, I'm going to word vomit here and see if anyone has an opinion

For those who've forgotten or don't know, the Tartaros Arc in Fairy Tail is the arc, at least for me, where shit goes down and does not come back up. I've always viewed it as the coming-of-age arc, every single main character has a moment where they are forced to lose something representing their childhood or innocence.

AND in what I would call the midpoint of the Tartaros arc, while everyone is fighting up in the cube (to rescue Erza/stop FACE/sweet revenge/all that jazz) Mard Geer casts the curse "Alegria" which turns the floating Minecraft block into Plutogrim (who may or may not be a demon/sentient entity). ANYWAY -

Turning a Minecraft block into a sentient being also makes the cube's weird immune system come into play. It traps everyone in this fleshy eldritch-horror goop that suspends them in a timeless state. Everyone except Lucy - but that's for later.

Now! I have two very compelling options for how Acnologia is thrown into this and they sort of shift the story I'd have to tell.

Option 1 - Acnologia is not present at the cube at this time, he's flown off to go help destroy Face (which matches up with the timeline because this curse happens right around Wendy's dragon force reveal in canon). This could be paired with a cool Wendy-Acno bonding experience, maybe a little dragon force action, idk -

Pros:

I don't have to try to balance Acnologia's insane power level for the 17,000th time

I set it up pretty early that Acnologia is SO goddamn ready to take Face out. This could be the payout

He could sense shit goes down when the Celestial King gets summoned because he's that guy

A very cute father-daughter moment with him and Wendy as he finds out that she already started destroy face before he got there and has unlocked her Dragon Force. Little flying bonding moment ya know?

Cons:

The majority of the story is written from Acnologia's perspective so I would either have to completely ignore everything happening over there (which IS technically already explained it canon, kind of) or would switch to Lucy's POV

Acnologia can destroy Face in like 3 minutes, cause he's that guy, so we're back to square one with wtf am I supposed to do with this guy's power level

Option 2 - Acnologia IS present, and gets caught in the goop, which limits his transformation and magic.

Now, Option 2 has two fun subcategories I've lovingly named "Acnologia kicks ass" and "Acnologia is very upset he cannot kick ass"

Acnologia kicks ass - The Dragon King does not need magic or his dragon form to pummel the absolute shit out of Mard-Geer. It's time for Regular Human Acnologia to shine for a whole 500 words and 300 punches.

Acnologia is very upset he cannot kick ass - he gets stuck in his Dragon form (possible trauma~) and is so completely normal about it that he uses his wings to crash Plutogrim into the dirt because Gods Help him if he is trapped in Dragon Form he will make it everyone else' problems.

Pros:

Hilarious inner monologue as Acnologia is trapped and fed up with this shit

Mard Geer gets insanely humbled real fast

Acnologia gets to witness Lucy summon the Celestial Spirit King, which could lead to him acknowledging her as Anna's successor (not that this is a huge divide between them but could be a cool moment)

Cons:

Power scaling. Always the fucking power scaling. How do I justify trapping the literal Dragon King without nerfing him into the ground? I can buff Plutogrim, make it a demon with ethernanos capabilities backed into its flesh which is why if you get caught you can't expend any magic to escape - but even THEN like - This is ACNOLOGIA, the boy's CRACKED

It takes the spotlight away from Lucy's moment and Aquarius' sacrifice - but gives Lucy someone who understands the significance of what happened to her.

Anyway, that's where my brain's at rn for The Dragon Father. And no, I'm not writing the Tartaros arc at the moment - I haven't even gotten to the Tower of Heaven arc, but like I gotta start brainstorming ya know??

[crayondinos]

okay so i just kinda want to word vomit/rant a little and the only person who would be okay with that is like SUPER busy rn now so i don't want to bother them

i've been volunteering for the parks system the next county over and it has been awesome! i haven't told any of the people about the jw stuff and my mom hasn't joined me so they all just know me as an awkward homeschooled kid! i'm terrified of mom or dad telling them about being jehovah's witnesses and ruining what i have going. this is my only connection to the outside world since none of my job applications have gone anywhere and if i lose it...

speaking of the job stuff, i got told that the parks director might want to hire me!!!! most of the jobs available want you to have a drivers license and i'm waiting to get mine till i turn 18 (only 4 months till then btw) so we don't have to pay for classes cause its like 500 dollars.

i have a part tonight. i'm sick of this. i wasted several hours of my life working on it. the worst thing is, well the two worst things ig are 1: i am really proud of how good it is and 2: i'm looking forward to maybe being told that i did good. the last talk i did the chairman said i did 'incredible'. he said it from the stage and i really liked it. i hate that i liked it.

i hate all i have to do to keep up the appearance of being a good jehovah's witness. i hate doing service three to four times a week and doing my bible reading -actually i kind of enjoy the studying but i hate that i have to do it to avoid suspicion- and i hate having to be "neutral" and i hate having to pretend to agree with everyone's political views despite the fact that we are supposed to stay neutral! LIKE NO MR. BROTHER MAN I DONT GIVE A SINGULAR SHIT ABOUT WHOS IN OFFICE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE IM NOT FREAKING SUPPOSED TO!!!!!!! i hate that i seem to be the only one acting the way jehovah's witnesses are supposed to when i don't even believe this stuff.

there was a bible study, we'll call them R, who started coming to the congregation my family goes to and mom got really attached to them. then R blocked the person studying with them, my mom and numerous other people. I never got their phone number. R stopped their study. my mom cried alot about it. i had to pretend to be sad but in reality i was so freaking happy. they had just graduated high school and they had short cut purple hair and lots of ear piercings and they did marching band. they gave such gay vibes but i have no idea if they are. we ran into R at the grocery store after the meeting a few weeks ago and they were polite as was mom. mom avoided saying anything about the meeting to make us seem more approachable i guess? thats how she explained it later to me in the car. mom waited until we had walked far enough away and then hugged me, hard, when she pulled away her eyes were wet and i felt like a piece of shit for not caring about what had upset her.

i have a car, my aunt moved across the world to be a need-greater and she gave it to me. i'm paying her back by selling some stuff for her.

i don't like myself. i inherited both my parents anger. i feels like the anger twisted together to create a person whose muscle fibers and bones are made solely from hatred, hatred for others, hatred for myself, hatred for life and for death. hatred for almost everything. i don't want to be shunned by my family. i love my family just as much as i hate them. they are everything to me but i can't live in this awful religion forever. i can't serve a god i despise for my whole life. i can't tell people they will see the people they love alive again when i don't believe it. i can't pretend to agree with the hatred this organization is practically weaved with. im so fucking scared. i'm scared of my family hating me, of my mom, dad, little sisters and little brother not talking to me again. i know my dads not going to live for more then a decade. he has so many health problems. i hate that at his funeral i most likely will not be able to talk to anyone, i know that i will be disfellowshipped once i leave. i'm queer and planning on committing so much "serious sin" and i'm not going to be sorry, not one fucking bit.

i would kms if i wasn't such a coward

[hopelessdreams-bianhablog]

OK OK THIS IS RUSHED I JUST DON'T HAVE ANY MOTIVATION RN (⁠｡⁠ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ⁠)

OK MOVING ON

Also if you're not comfortable with cursing please do say so

I'm planning on writing them in but I just wanna make sure that first you're comfortable with it

Croissant x reader who is in Twizzly Gummy's gang

During the mayhem update (crkingdom update) when croissant comes to arrest Twizzly and her whole gang only to lay her eyes on reader. Surely the director wouldn't care much if she just snatched a trinket for herself. After getting the whole gang in a cell she'll take the reader for some "questioning" or maybe the whole gang so it isn't suspicious. Croissant isn't up to losing her job for you. The reader is probably expecting some questions regarding the gang and what they probably want only to be greeted with personal questions like "What's your favourite food?" or "how do you feel about getting held captive in my house/basement without your consent just for me to adore you

For a month or less she'll keep reader with the gang in the cell. As much as she wants the reader already within her grasp she needs a bit of time to get everything set up to welcome the reader into their forever home <3. She promise's she'll do her best to make sure you're comfortable. Now I feel like instead of being like string gummy she'll be more nicer then him. Yk maybe if you're not acting up she'll be glad to show you around the tbd while showing you her station, equipment,etc. Now if you're on your best behavior to the point she knows you won't run away she'll be glad to let you visit your family or friends as long as she is there to make sure reader doesn't pull a stunt. This will be quite important

Croissant hates seeing the reader all upset and definitely doesn't enjoy locking them in a room but c'mon the reader is making everything quite impossible. Her taking the reader out for some dinner or the movies will make her very happy but she can't risk the reader making a whole show she definitely can't trust them if this is there 5th escape attempt. I can just imagine croissant begging Timekeeper (TK) for some advice.

"They won't hear me out and instead attempt to attack me every moment they get!! What do I do? I haven't hurt them in any way!" Yes you have

TK will legit just give croissant bad or somewhat awful advice for her entertainment. "Maybe what you need to do is give them a punishment. Raise your voice at them what are you doing talking all cuddly with them like it's gonna help them? There taking advantage of you croissant, they can see that you won't stick up for yourself and instead take all their cruel actions and words. At this point you're the weak one. They yell at you? Do it right back at them. They attempt to charge at you? Do it right back to them. What they give is what they will receive. What you need croissant is a CHANGE.

Obviously croissant will be very hesitant on doing this. She knows TK can sometimes be a little rat. Desperation is really getting the best at her. There has been no change since the start. Is this method really gonna solve the problem? One way to find out.

Ok but like reader's first attempt to escape

Got lazy at this point I'll rewrite it tmrw with more details

So yk reader is stuck in a cell with the whole gang. Obviously escaping is the only thing on there mind. That tbd pest girl that arrested them and won't stop asking questions. Croissant taking the reader to question them like 24/7. Is there really a problem with her wanting to know more about the reader? Ok so the gang escapes and croissant is after them determine to get reader back. The whole gang splits up and instead of going for Twizzly Gummy, the leader she instead goes for the reader. She loses the whole gang but hey she has the reader at least. Croissant trying to explain why she went after the reader even tho TK already knows and doesn't really care. It's alr cause now she has the reader all to herself.

-🗝️Anon

HELP WHY DID THIS TURN OUT SO BAD. I DON'T WANNA REWRITE IT AGAIN SO UH

actually

I LOVE IT-

AHHHH IT'S SOOO COOL

I WILL KEEP IT

THIS SO COOL