#it really does draw all weird things to it

[happypeachsludgeflower]

SVSSS BRAINWAVE JUST HIT! I HAD A THOUGHT ™

An average modern person transmitigates into SVSSS. Mind you, I specifically mean SVSSS and not PIDW. That’s right, our protagonist awakens to find themselves as a NPC in the world of Scum Villain Self Saving System. And they think to themselves upon waking up, “Oh, I’m an NPC in a xianxia novel with a happy ending! Cool!!” and goes about their life being a background nerd geeking out about plants, and monsters, and cultivation in general, and neat flying swords.

But this is a world of sex pollen and wife plots and unfortunately the cure for a lot of diseases is duel cultivation with a heavenly demon, and we all know who that demon is going to end up marrying, so it’s best to mess around with meta cultivation knowledge and prep for the worst case scenario, and honestly, they may as well solve some of the minor issues in the plot while their at it, so they invent some new cultivation techniques from some of those nifty svsss fanfictions they read while alive (I’m specifically thinking of this fic’s explanation of duel cultivation and cauldrons, but other weird cultivation methods could be used from other fanfics and xianxia books), so they can tidy up some things.

For instance, is it really necessary for Zhuzhi-lang to be stuck as a weird snake creature for nearly twenty years? Is it really needed for Yue Qingyuan to have crippled cultivation due to his sword?? Does Tianlang Jun have to be stuck under a mountain and then escape only to slowly die in a decomposing body??

They know they can’t change everything without the system interfering, but small nudges should help right? After all, they’re just a background NPC and Shen Yuan will show up eventually and everyone will fall in love with him and no one will even notice the NPC’s existence even if they had noticed something was up during their miraculous healing and salvation spree.

So they go about fixing those things. They catch Zhuzhi-lang unawares and feed him a sun and dew mushroom seed while he’s confused and do some funky cultivation shenanigans and pat him on the head cause he’s really such a cute weird snake creature and give him some vague warning about not trusting in laws and then fucks off to somewhere else.

I’m still caught up on Metagaming’s concept of duel cultivation transactions where you give and take—like taking something from someone’s cultivation, not just power, and returning something else—and keep getting stuck in a brainrot loop of the NPC taking some bloodmite powers from Zhuzhi-lang when they gave him a fully humanoid form that’s not reliant on Tianlang Jun. So my main idea for how the NPC plots to hold Yue Qingyuan in place is feeding him lesser bloodmites (not full ones because they only took a minor ability and can only hold someone for a few minutes before the bloodmites die), while they hold Yue Qingyuan still long enough to draw some ritual to heal his soul and separate it from Xuan Su. But honestly, I’m sure other ideas could apply here too. My Metagaming brainrot is just too strong right now to think of any.

And Tianlang Jun? Simple. Zhuzhi-lang’s got a humanoid form and can easily get the sun and dew mountain flowers for himself. They can’t stop the man from being imprisoned entirely. The system says no since Luo Binghe needs a dramatic entrance. So while they can’t stop the tragedy, they can put some pieces into play for an early escape, maybe a new plan to get him a better body once’s he’s back, and be a ferry for Su Xiyan’s body to revive her at some point as well.

It’s nice being an unnoticeable NPC, isn’t it? You can do whatever you want and no one’s going to know!!

Except. Someone does notice (as we all could have seen coming). And Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as fuck of this obnoxious Shidi because he notices everyone due to paranoid, and he’s even MORE suspicious of the mysterious character that healed Yue Qingyuan’s soul (and wasn’t that a doozy of a realization to have when Yue Qingyuan burst into his bamboo house one day freaking out because some disguised, powerful cultivator somehow did the impossible after ambushing him and holding him down as they healed his soul, and Shen Qingqiu is still reeling from learning that Yue Qingyuan’s SOUL was damaged trying to save Xiao Jiu and the stubborn asshole never told him because he apparently assumed Xiao Jiu knew there wasn’t a single universe where Qi ge didn’t try to come for him). And so yea, Shen Qingqiu is suspicious as all hell and starts snooping and plotting to catch the mysterious cultivator by combing through Cang Qiong because whoever it is has to have an in at the sect somewhere to know about Yue Qingyuan’s soul.

And that’s not even mentioning how suspicious Zhuzhi-lang and Tianlang Jun are now. They might not have realized what that strange cultivator did when they did it, or understood the cryptic in law mention, but they certainly have some suspicions now that Tianlang Jun was as imprisoned by in law like people, and Zhuzhi-lang kept his humanoid form just fine without Tianlang Jun, and now the hunt is ON for the mysterious benefactor, so they can repay the kindness and find out what the fuck is going on.

The NPC is, of course, oblivious to all of this going on and goes about their merry way thinking they’re being the Best ™ at being lowkey. They are SO good at being inconspicuous!! They deserve an award really!!

And then. Shen Qingqiu doesn’t qi deviate.

Shen Yuan doesn’t show up.

Oh shit, the NPC thinks to themselves as they begin to panic. They even check Shen Qingqiu out themselves to see if it’s Shen Yuan just being really good at acting. Maybe he was a better actor in the book than he gave himself credit for or something?? But no. That’s Shen Qingqiu all right. Shen Yuan is missing in action, and someone has to fix the plot of Cang Qiong is doomed.

Thus begins the NPC’s journey to try and unobtrusively fix PIDW’s child abuse problems (that they’re unaware are already fixed), save Liu Qingge from his qi deviation in Ling Xi Caves, make sure Luo Binghe doesn’t raze the sect to the ground someday and hopefully find him some sort of husband replacement to keep him under control when he does return, possibly dispose of the Huan Hua Palace Master at some point because he’s vile trash, and did I mention there are multiple man hunts for this poor oblivious dude currently on going??

And the most important question for them to solve? Where the fuck did Shen Yuan go??

Hmm I wonder where that man could have gone.

[1425fivefive]

and one more prompt bc i love to torment you....Dando and denial *eyebrow wiggle*

this is, and i really can't emphasize this enough, so rancid. set at zandvoort 2022 right after daniel was dropped my mclaren. tw: dubious consent and undernegotiated kinks (for the kink prompt asks)

The problem, Daniel thinks, is that Lando watches too much porn.

It’s the only explanation for Lando turning up to Daniel’s hotel room after Zandvoort to announce that he currently has a pussy—the newest victim of the sex swap curse that keeps hitting various members of the grid—and that he wants Daniel to fuck him in the arse. 

When Daniel asks why Lando wouldn’t just want Daniel to fuck his newly-acquired pussy, Lando shrugs and says, “Seems like the girls in the videos always, like, really like it up the arse.”

“Huh,” Daniel says, because he’s not really sure what else to say when Lando’s standing in the middle of Daniel’s hotel room, asking to be fucked in the arse because he’s seen it in porn while clutching a frankly comically enormous bottle of lube.

Lando’s face scrunches. “It’s not, like, weird—”

“It’s pretty weird, mate,” Daniel says, forcing a laugh.

“—like, I have a pussy, it’s not, like, gay—”

Daniel’s fucked trans guys. He knows Lando having a pussy doesn’t have anything to do with whether this is gay or not.

“—and Max told me about the shit you and he used to do at Red Bull. Reckoned you wouldn’t really care even if it was sort of gay.”

“Don’t,” Daniel says, hating the way his voice cracks.

Lando blinks at him, eyes wide, as if to say, What’d I do?

“Just, like”—Daniel brings a hand up, rubs the back of his neck—“not in the mood to chat about Max, yeah?”

Daniel sees understanding dawn in Lando’s eyes, something awfully close to pity flashing across Lando’s face. Like Lando’s worked out that the reason Daniel never talks about what he and Max were to each other. Like Lando’s realized that Daniel was the idiot who thought the thing between him and Max actually meant something.

“Interesting,” Lando says, drawing out the word, looking like the cat that got the fucking cream.

It makes Daniel want to tell Lando to get the fuck out of his room. Makes him want to remind Lando that McLaren only loves him because of whatever shit Lando does in Zak’s office. Makes him want to shove Lando’s face in the fact that Lando’s never won a race while Daniel won fucking Monaco, won Monza in 2021, McLaren’s first win in a decade. And where was fucking Lando?

Daniel knows none of it changes anything. Lando has a seat for next year and Daniel doesn’t.

But right now, Lando’s standing in Daniel’s hotel room, too porn-brained to realize that people with pussies don’t even have fucking prostates, asking Daniel to fuck him in the arse.

Daniel hates himself when he starts picturing it. Picturing Lando struggling to take his cock, his pussy dripping and empty and untouched, aching for it. Lando slowly realizing that being fucked in the arse isn’t enough to come, that he’ll need to have his pussy played with to get anywhere. Daniel just coming inside him, leaving Lando sobbing to come.

And, like, it’s fucked but Daniel can admit it’s also hot. And Daniel knows it’s not winning but as he stares at Lando, thinks about how Lando’s been looking at him all year, like Daniel’s a dog that needs to be put down, Daniel starts to convince himself it sort of is.

“Still want me to fuck your arse?” Daniel asks shortly.

“Yeah,” Lando says with a shrug, clearly trying to act casual, like he didn’t turn up to Daniel’s hotel room practically begging for it.

“Fine,” Daniel says. “Then take your clothes off and get on the bed.”

Lando hesitates for a moment but he listens, sheds his clothes and clambers onto the bed, Daniel catching little teasing glimpses of Lando’s pussy on the way. Daniel can see enough to tell that Lando’s wet. He tries to ignore the way his mouth goes a bit dry at the sight.

Lando flops back against the pillows, watching Daniel expectantly. Like there’s any way in hell Daniel’s gonna fuck him like that, sprawled out on his back. Nah, Daniel doesn’t have any interest in seeing Lando’s face during this.

“Turn over,” Daniel snaps.

Daniel thinks that might be enough to have Lando climbing off the bed and pulling on his clothes, telling Daniel to fuck off.

But Lando’s breath hitches, cheeks flushing. Like maybe a part of him likes when Daniel’s cruel. Daniel’s not doing it for Lando, doesn’t give a shit whether Lando likes it or not, but it makes things easier when Lando rolls over onto his stomach, spreading his thighs a bit, putting his pussy and hole on display.

Daniel tugs his shirt off over his head, unbuckling his belt. Lando turns his head to look at him, but Daniel just says, “Face forward.”

Daniel thinks he hears a little whimper from Lando, watches a wet spot form on the fabric of the hotel sheets underneath Lando’s cunt. God, he really is dripping for it, his pussy flushed and dark. A part of Daniel thinks it’s a shame it won’t be getting fucked.

Daniel knees his way onto the bed, grabs Lando’s arsecheeks in his hands and pulls, spreading Lando open.

Lando whimpers into the pillow but he stays where he is, shaking under Daniel’s hands. Daniel can’t tell whether it’s desire or fear. Both, maybe. Daniel lets some saliva pool in his mouth and spits onto Lando’s hole, watching it slide over the tight furl. Lando lets out a humiliated sob into the pillow, twisting like he’s about to turn back and snap at Daniel.

But Daniel shoots a hand up to Lando’s hair, shoving Lando’s face against the pillow, holding him there until Lando goes lax.

“Good,” Daniel says. “Stay there.”

Another shiver runs through Lando but he stays still, lets Daniel squirt lube onto his fingers and drag them over Lando’s hole, pushing one in and then two before Lando’s really ready for it. Lando moans into the pillow, rim going tighter.

“Relax,” Daniel says, landing a smack against Lando’s arsecheek, listening to Lando’s outraged little squeak, watching the muscle bounce. But Lando loosens enough for Daniel to slip his entire fingers in, stretching him quickly, perfunctorily. 

Daniel doesn’t really care about making this good for Lando. Sort of wants to see Lando squirm as Daniel pushes in. Lando can tell him to stop if he really hates it. He’s strong, stronger, maybe, than Daniel is at the moment, what with the starvation diet Michael’s put him on and the anxiety making it hard to find the motivation to eat. Daniel doesn’t have any doubt that Lando could shove him off if he wanted to.

“Condom?” Daniel asks.

Lando doesn’t say anything, and Daniel lands another smack on his arse, harder this time.

“Answer when I’m asking you a question,” Daniel says shortly.

Lando says something inaudible into the pillow.

Daniel tugs his fingers out of Lando’s arse, groaning at the sight of Lando’s rim struggling to close, and digs his lubed fingers into Lando’s hair, pulling Lando’s head back.

“What was that?” Daniel asks.

“I said,” Lando says, still a little edge of petulance, “do whatever you want. I don’t give a shit.”

A part of Daniel can't help but wonder if Lando came to him because he wanted it like this. If Lando's letting Daniel think he has all the power when really Lando chose him, chose Daniel because he already knew Daniel would fuck him exactly like this, rude and harsh.

But Daniel doesn't let himself think about it for too long, just lets Lando’s head drop back against the pillow and grabs the lube, squirting a bit more onto his hand, getting his dick nice and wet. He drags his dick over Lando’s hole, slaps it a few times with the tip, barking out a shocked laugh when Lando whimpers, arse shoving back toward Daniel like he’s begging for Daniel’s cock.

“God,” Daniel murmurs, lining himself up, “should���ve known you’d be such a fucking slut.”

Lando says something high and whiny, something Daniel can’t hear because he’s sliding inside of Lando’s absurdly tight hole, his walls clenching around Daniel like he’s trying to pull him in and shove him out all at once. It feels outrageously, maddeningly good, so good that Daniel’s immediately worried he’s fucked up, that he might never get over how good Lando feels around him. That he’ll just have to wander around for the rest of his life knowing that his annoying as shit twenty-two-year-old ex-teammate has the tightest arse he’s ever fucked.

“Jesus, Lando,” Daniel groans, shoving in deeper. “S’like no one’s ever fucked you here.”

Lando lets out an anguished sob into the pillow and Daniel’s stomach flips as he realizes maybe no one has. It shouldn’t have Daniel’s stomach flipping, shouldn’t have him grabbing Lando’s hips, tight, and tugging Lando back onto his cock, eyes locked on where Lando’s struggling to take him with each pass of Daniel’s hips.

“God,” Daniel moans, fucking hard, fast, solely focused on chasing his own pleasure. “Feel so fucking good, Lando.”

Lando’s making wet noises into the pillow like maybe he’s crying and Daniel wonders whether maybe Lando’s crying. Daniel thinks about checking, but he notices Lando snaking a hand underneath himself, like maybe Lando’s thinking about touching himself, like maybe Lando likes this.

Daniel grabs Lando’s wrist, tugging his arm behind his back, ignoring Lando’s outraged noise. He grabs Lando’s other arm for good measure and tugs both of Lando’s wrists against the small of Lando’s back, holding them there, using the grip on Lando’s wrists to tug Lando back onto his cock.

Lando’s sobbing something Daniel can’t make out and Daniel decides to ignore it until Lando’s twisting his face against the pillow, freeing his mouth, and gasping, “Need t’come.”

Daniel snorts. Lando should’ve thought of that when he barged into Daniel’s hotel room demanding that Daniel fuck his arse. Daniel doesn’t do anything, just keeps Lando’s hands pressed against the small of his back and fucks him hard and fast.

“Please,” Lando sobs, and Daniel can see how red his face is, tears on his cheeks. “Please, Daniel, want to come.”

It tickles something awful in Daniel’s brain, hearing Lando beg. It’s even worse realizing that he has no intention of giving in.

“Yeah, well”—Daniel fucks in deep, grinding against where Lando’s prostate would normally be—“should’ve thought of that earlier.”

“No,” Lando gasps, fingers splaying out, wrists tugging against Daniel’s hold. “No, Daniel, please—”

“Bet your little pussy feels so fucking empty,” Daniel says, dragging himself closer to his own orgasm. “Bet your clit’s fucking begging for it.”

“Yeah,” Lando pants, squeezing his eyes shut, lip quivering. “Want you to—fuck my pussy, Daniel, please.”

Daniel’s quiet for a minute, lets Lando think he might give in. But Daniel says, “Nah.” He tugs Lando back on his cock. “This is what you asked for, mate. This is what you wanted.”

Lando shoves his face against the pillow and gasps, “I didn’t—I didn’t know.”

Daniel groans at that, moments away from coming.

Lando seems to realize his window of opportunity’s closing because he twists around as far as he can, eyes desperate, and pleads, “Daniel, please, please. Fuck, please.”

“What?” Daniel asks, feeling half-crazed, half-delirious at the sight of Lando strung out and begging on his cock. “What do you want?”

“Fuck my pussy,” Lando whimpers, eyes pleading. “Please, Dan, please fuck my pussy.”

“Yeah?” Daniel asks, voice ragged. “Want me to fuck your pussy?”

Lando nods frantically, fucking himself back on Daniel’s cock. “Please,” Lando whines. “Want you to fuck my pussy, want it so fucking bad.”

Daniel comes with a groan, filling Lando’s arse, fingers digging into Lando’s wrists.

“No,” Lando gasps. He lets out an anguished sob and shoves his face into the pillows, body shaking in Daniel’s grip, wrists still caught behind his back.

Daniel pulls out of him slowly, moaning at the sight of Lando’s fucked-open hole, his pussy flushed a dusky pink, glistening with arousal.

“Fuck,” Daniel murmurs, getting his hands under Lando’s hips, tugging him up so Daniel can see his untouched pussy, see his clit, swollen and huge with need.

Lando doesn't say anything, just squirms and sobs into the pillow, pussy twitching under Daniel's gaze.

Daniel stays there for a few moments, until he watches his come start to drip out of Lando. As he slips off the bed, Lando slumping against the mattress, he tries desperately to convince himself that he's finally won.

But Lando rolls over and gives Daniel a lazy grin despite the tears sliding down his cheeks. "Fuck," Lando says, looking sated, content. "Reckon I really needed that."

[rabbitindisguise]

Idk if this will be helpful to anyone but a list of techniques I would use:

Confine the multipronoun character to one paragraph, and change paragraphs when another character speaks/is described/does something, noting the new character's name before switching to pronouns

Avoid dialogue tags altogether and focus on making the dialogue more obvious with heavy characterization and solid structure that makes who's speaking clear. Then later on you can sprinkle in some dialogue tags as looks appropriate once the reader grasps the character well enough to know what they would say in a certain situation

Use at least one neopronoun or singular they and use it in situations where the other character has the same pronoun but using names is way too clumsy

Probably don't switch within the same sentence (or don't make a habit of it). Unless you're committed to creating a multi pronoun user's dream come true narrative, it's difficult to follow because instinctively you're thinking "oh this is a new character." Much easier to describe them doing verb and then character continuing that verb with a different pronoun in the following sentence

Don't draw attention to it if you're not aiming to do that, it'll look sloppy instead of authentic to life. I've seen some authors make a big point of clashingly putting pronouns together and it's just not natural. Especially when other characters are speaking about them- even if someone is super good with using them equally, they often talk using one pronoun for one conversation/one day/etc and definitely at least for one sentence. But the MOST important thing about this is that people don't usually use pronouns for someone in front of them. So making a bunch of excuses for someone to refer to someone as if they're not there looks weird. Which could be the vibe you're going for- maybe you're writing a piece about gender and want it to smack you right in the face every sentence. But if you're trying to make it blend into the background it will not help to make a point of putting two different pronouns in the same sentence/same paragraph/same interaction with other characters.

Have pronouns that make sense to you. It can be difficult to juggle atypical neopronouns for you at the same time as trying to do multi pronouns for the character. Typing "him" instead of "his" on accident for example makes it even harder to read, and multi pronouns are already hard enough to read as it is (<- should not be smug about this, but is, because he don't have multiple pronouns because it's easy)

Context!!! This one is the most obvious but it really helps.

You can loosen up the further into the narrative you are because they'll be able to guess based on how the character is behaving and characterization.

Example:

Carin tapped his foot irately, becoming the human personification of anxiety. The clock said they were ten minutes late, and the time on his phone said twenty. If they didn't show up soon he was just going to-

The bell chimed and they stepped into the room, telescoping the umbrella with a SNAP! that could barely be heard over the chatter in the coffee shop. The noise didn't abate at all when they entered and the bell chimed again as the door fell shut.

"It's about damn time," he said. Worry creased his brow.

They looked like they were going to apologize and thought better of it. "I don't see what the rush is."

She rolled her eyes. "I told you, we have a deadline."

"So you've said. Like five times." They sounded more amused than stressed now that they were in the shop and out of the rain. The umbrella folded up into a little tube, one of those tiny ones you could get at target. They flagged down the barista.

He groaned. "Do we really have time for coffee?"

"Hi! I'll have a latte, and xie will have an cappuccino."

The barista looked at xir warily, but shrugged xir off. She looked a bit stressed herself since the place was packed with people trying to escape the downpour. Okay, a lot stressed. But the thought of that was making xim feel bad so xie tried not to think about it. [Alternatively: The barista looked at her warily, but shrugged her off. She looked a bit stressed herself since the place was packed with people trying to escape the downpour. Okay, a lot stressed. But thinking about the barista's situation was making her feel bad so she tried not to think about it.]

"Will that be for here or to go?"

"To go. Thanks."

The sound of change made her eyebrow twitch.

"You didn't have to-"

"You looked like you could use a coffee. Now. The deadline?" They asked, leaning their hip against the counter near the WAIT HERE FOR YOUR COFFEE :) sign.

He breathed a sigh of relief.

ok i brought this up in a discord server already but i'm gonna ask this here as well for maximum coverage

when writing characters who use multiple pronouns, what's the best way to avoid confusion?

no i'm not making this a poll as the answers are bound to be a lot more nuanced than a multiple choice question can do justice lmao

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Jin "Jiji" Enjoji relationship headcanons

warnings: fem!reader, spoilers beyond the Cursed House arc, OOC, tooth-rotting fluff.

Special thanks to @miaurieee for beta-reading this draft before I posted it :3 I am caught up with the Dandadan manga series up to Volume 10, which somehow I was able to acquire over the Christmas break by nothing short of a miracle given to how my local bookstore keeps running out of stock 😅 So if you don’t want to be spoiled, it’s probably not a good idea to venture any further.

For those who have chosen to stay, I hope you’ll enjoy these headcanons~!

Although he is a flirty and weird-ass drama queen by nature, Jiji is the sweetest guy that a girl would love to have as a boyfriend. Not only is he charismatic, funny, easygoing, he is also loyal. Once he knows he has found that special someone, he is in it for the long haul. And he knows that it’s you because…well, he’s got great instincts! :3

He would definitely walk you to and from school.

Do you want a drink from the school cafeteria? No problem! Just give him a few and he’ll be right back~! He might seem a little flighty, but Jiji has a really good memory. Remember how he knew Momo preferred Pompy even when it’s been years since he’s seen her? Yeah, he’ll have your likes and dislikes memorized in no time.

Dates with Jiji would be spontaneous; ranging between cozy and quiet, like window-shopping around the city and then grab something at the coffee shop, adrenaline-pumping like playing against each other at the local arcade to see who can win the most tickets or going on all the rides at the amusement park, it’s honestly the luck of the draw. But please don’t feel obligated to do everything in one day just to make him happy, okay? If you’re feeling tired and want to go home or if you’re hungry, he’ll totally understand.

Communication and honesty are important foundations in your relationship, so bottling everything up inside is not a good idea and might cause Jiji to second-guess himself or think he’s doing something wrong.

Now, in regard to the whole Evil Eye scenario: he will insist that you stay away from the Ayase residence until the exorcism is completed. He has a mountain yokai inside of his body, and it was his own fault for inviting him inside. The last thing he wants is something to happen to you and there was nothing he could do to stop it from happening. This would happen if you two started dating right after he transferred schools or continued dating until he left town for the city after his parents’ hospitalization.

Flash forward to Okarun making a deal with the Evil Eye and fighting the yokai on Tuesdays after school, with the cursed underwear being safely kept at Manjiro’s shrine. Once he knows that the Evil Eye will not break his promise, especially after accidentally transforming a few times at home, Jiji will feel a little more at ease being around you. Just don’t go around splashing anything cold on him, just in case. Room temperature is fine. His chi training is paying off, so in the unlikely event that it does happen, he can revert the transformation and go back to normal. He might be a little tired afterwards, though.

If you two weren’t already together prior to the Evil Eye situation, Jiji would definitely be falling head over heels for you as time passed. He would see you as someone who is amazing in their own way, even if you had some glaring flaws and were a bit of a weirdo too :3 Brownie points if the Evil Eye actually doesn’t call you a turd and is semi-well-behaved when he’s around you at school or in public.

Treat this eccentric dude right, and your relationship will definitely be one heck of a rollercoaster ride that will be full of firsts, maybe some scary things, but he’ll be by your side through it all.

Taglist: @bdudette @hoodiepandaninja16 @napbatata @karai-frost @kazudare @myduality @shidousprincess @sleep-all-day-everyday @taesy-miranda-lee @osarumi @satorousgf @cherie-soup @skwunkler @melodiblues @anonymity-222 @cumbersome-robes @zero-in-kyoto @h0undd0gzw0rld @decay-1 @justamegafan @minnie-1-3 @bumblebeebutter @theofficialfem @sadprimrose @bigbodycity @daniiixoxo @silentbreathss @skelletonscloset @mira-belcul18 @thatstrangesheep @thewindigo

[agent-yolk-writes]

A Nightmare in Devildom (Obey Me/Nightmare on Elm Street concept fic)

Basically what it says on the tin. A "what if MC was a survivor of freddy kreuger's torment before the events of OM" concept fic.

This is was of those weird ideas I came with this during the early covid lockdown period where my insomnia got really bad to the point where I was borderline delirious. I meant to get this out during October for spooky season vibes but after three Octobers came and went and Obey Me isn't getting any more updates, I figure I throw it into the pit before that happens. No beta we die like obey me as a franchise, I guess!

If this inspires you to write something similar, please let me know! If you want me to write more...please reconsider!

And, of course, happy holidays!

AO3 Mirror Link

Good lord, I look terrible. You thought as you looked at yourself in the mirror. When was the last time I got some rest?

Other than looking more visibly tired, you look...older. It was the face of a nurse finally coming home after back-to-back double shifts. The bags under your eyes could only get so dark, but thankfully you knew a demon who had so much concealer and foundation lying around that he wouldn’t know if a few went missing. 

You knew you shouldn’t be continuing this habit, but you can’t help it. Despite living in a mansion with the most powerful demons in Literal Hell(!!) in the past few weeks your brain is still not convinced that you’re safe from Him . Would he still have the balls to terrorize you still? Does he even know where you are? Surely he’ll just know when you disappeared without a trace, but you can’t afford to find out for yourself. 

As much as you wanted to tell the brothers, you didn’t want to drag them into this mess. After all, this problem only started just weeks before you were brought here. It came without warning, and suddenly it turned into a bloodied hurricane. To think He was the one that killed your friends and classmates back in the human world…you regretted not being able to do more for them until you were in His sights.

This opportunity with the exchange program was either a saving grace or a divine intervention, and you’re not going to let that chance slip away from you. You have the whole year to work on magic and potions and anything else that could possibly drive Him away if not kill him for good, and you highly doubt he’s going to forget about you. Knowing how to do magic is one thing, but putting it to memory is another. This wouldn’t be a problem if you weren’t so damn tired. You’re trying so hard to pay attention in class, but you just end up more focused on trying to keep your eyes open lest you allow Him to strike at your most vulnerable. 

However, there is one possible solution. The only problem is that you needed to form a pact with his other brothers before he could even consider helping you, that slothful bastard. Belphegor knows how tired you are and how you would do anything for a safe and peaceful rest. There was no point hiding it from him as you were with the others. Oh, how you envied the way he could sleep the day away in his little prison cell…you could just punch him if only you had the strength.

…

You really didn’t feel good about the multi-layered lie you found yourself webbed into to get the pacts in the first place. You recently got Beelzebub’s pact, putting you at the halfway mark. He looked so happy about your ‘plan’ to impress Lucifer enough to have him make up with Belphegor that it made your stomach churn in shame. Is it really okay for you to do this? Wouldn’t it be easier to tell the truth? Out of all the brothers, you couldn’t help but feel guilty for lying to Beel.

But what if Lucifer points his finger at Belphegor if you bring it up before you’re able to finish explaining? Would it destroy all the progress you made? Would you make things worse ? If they draw parallels that your deprivation is somehow related to the seventh-born’s sleep-related powers…only Lucifer would have an answer different from the other five. That’s why you have to keep up this facade for as long as you can. That’s why you need to stay awake. To find a way to protect yourself as well as the others. 

Your new friends at Purgatory Hall, bless their hearts, were none the wiser. Considering two of them were actual angels, you would’ve expected at least Luke to confront you with tears in his eyes about your health at least a month in. He makes a big talk about how you should never trust ‘those demons’ before having lunch with Beelzebub. Sometimes you think Solomon is giving you weird looks whenever you make eye contact with him. It’s probably the sleep-deprived paranoia, but you hope it’s nothing. You’ve been getting away with it for this long, so what? 

Tomorrow you have to stay over at Diavolo’s castle as part of an exchange party sleepaway camp or something. If you’re lucky, you can have a room for yourself. You don’t pack your go-to methods for staying awake until right before everyone heads out.

~

The steaming heat of the boiler room did not warm the chill in your bones one bit. 

You should know the inner workings of this hellscape by now. It was His favorite hunting ground, after all. However, something seems different this time. Everything felt…a bit shifted to the right, in a way. On top of that, there’s no sight or sound of Him anywhere. No taunting catchphrases, no spooky teleports he’s fond of doing, not even the shilling sound of his claw on metal when he’s close. This is probably his new trick, you think. Lulling you into a false sense of security before-

You turned around, involuntary flinching as you braced yourself to be hit. Only to process seconds later that nothing’s coming. In fact, there was no sign of life behind you in the first place. Damn it, he really was playing with you at this point. As soon as you let out a sigh of relief, you heard someone screaming from the other side of the room. You couldn’t tell who they were, but that’s not going to stop you. You ran towards the sound before you let the dread wash over you. 

“I’m coming!” You yelled at them. “Wake up! He can’t hurt you if you’re awake!” You were so focused on tilting your head up to project your voice to the other person that you didn’t realize you hit a dead end until you ran into a wall of pipes. “Oh, god damn it!” You cursed, pivoting on your foot to turn around and run even faster. 

What happened next happened too fast. You didn’t know where you were going. Everything is starting to blur together. A pipe managed to burst the same second you turned your head to follow the noise, immediately blinding your vision with steam and a “Shit!” jumping out of your mouth. The suddenness of it all made you lose your momentum and you feel yourself stumbling forward. You didn’t have time to brace yourself for the sharp object that’s going right through your- 

You wake with an audible gasp, hands going up to your throat. The sound of your racing heart and your uneven breathing replace the sounds of pipes and steam. You looked around in the darkness and could barely see two bodies sleeping in their respective beds. Ah, that’s right. This is the first night of Diavolo’s retreat, and you find yourself paired to a room with Asmodeus and Simeon. In an attempt to pretend you’re asleep ended up having you fall asleep for real. You couldn’t help but think how pathetic you were for letting your guard down for one second and falling into His hands again after so long all because you were waiting for someone to finish their 20-step overnight skin routine.

With a shuddered sigh, you carefully slipped out of your bed and into the hallway in hopes you could clear your thoughts without disturbing your roommates. 

Thanks to the occasional jittering of a Little D doing their nightly duties, the halls of a demon lord’s castle don’t feel as haunted as you would think. The lights were dimmed but not out completely, which gave way for the moon to shine in as its own source of light. Had you been carrying a candle in a brass holder you would’ve thought you stumbled into one of those old gothic novels. You didn’t have a real destination in mind, but you made sure you remembered which room you were assigned to just in case. 

At some point during the night, you ended up in one of the lounge rooms, curled up on a couch facing the huge floor-to-ceiling windows, and looked up at all the stars. It has always been a comfort for you. You even began reading about them in an attempt to stay awake back in the human world. You thought you could recognize some of the constellations, but there are always a few stars here and there that turn it into an unrecognizable shape. At least you have new material to read about when you’re back in your room at the House of Lamentation. 

The soft calling of your name from the door broke your serene silence followed by a, “Is that you?”

A small gasp managed to escape your throat before you were able to put your hands over your mouth. You curled into yourself at first so whoever it was can’t see your head poking out from the back. After a few seconds, it finally clicked as to who it was.

Sheepishly, you stick your head out. “Hi, Barbatos.” You said, voice croaking in unexpected use. Even though it was dark and his figure obscured, you could make out that he was holding some kind of tray. “Am I not supposed to be here? I’m sorry. I’ll go back and…”

“It’s fine.” He assured you. “I heard someone walking around, so I’ve taken the liberty to brew some chamomile tea for them should they feel restless. Would you like some?”

“...”

Tea does sound nice, but the fact that it was chamomile made you hesitate. At the same time, Barbatos just made it, so it would be rude to let it go to waste.

“...That would be nice. Thank you.”

He made his way over to the other side of the couch. Part of you wanted to sit up and be proper when drinking, but even thinking about adjusting your posture makes you tired. Still, you make an effort to reach over to take the tea cup from the butler’s hands. Barbatos took this opportunity to start talking. 

“This is your first time spending the night at a castle, I presume?” You made an affirmative noise as you sipped, not wanting to point out that it’s not just any castle you’re sleeping at. “I reckon slipping in a new bed right as you got settled in would put anyone’s nerves on edge.”

You put your cup down as you replied, “I guess you can say that.” 

He looks at you quizzically. “Is something amiss? I’ll inform the Young Master right away.”

“It’s…It’s fine, Barbatos. Thanks for worrying.” You took another sip before letting out a sigh. “I’ve always had trouble sleeping, you can say. I get…these really bad nightmares that make me stay up for days on end. They were so terrifying and real…I kept wondering if I was losing my mind. I’ve tried every remedy in the book to stop them but…” You stopped to let a yawn out. “Sorry…As I was saying, I tried everything the doctors thought could help me. They even brought in a priest thinking it was ‘dream demons’ or something.” You paused, replaying the last thing you said. “Are dream demons even a thing here?”

“They are a form of lesser demons, yes.” The butler answered. “They’re relatively harmless as individual beings, but can pose a threat in large numbers or if they get close to a human.”

“Well, that’s reassuring.” You told him bitterly. 

“If it brings you any comfort, just know that they’re not powerful enough to be able to enter the human world on their own. Only certain powerful demons have the authority to travel to that realm directly. Such as the Young Master and Lucifer, for example.”

You couldn’t help but huff out air through your nose in relief. Suck on that, Pastor John. 

“...So yeah. Just before I was summoned here, they put me on a clinical trial for a medication that…reduces? Suppress? It, like, stops giving me dreams entirely, and they work. Forgot the name though. And I coincidentally ran out just before I was transferred here so…yeah.” Your eyes looked over to the butler. “Sorry I didn’t mention it earlier, I guess. I keep getting roped into whatever the brothers get themselves into that I never really had time to check on myself.”

Barbatos didn’t respond immediately. You were too busy concentrating on balancing the tea on your stomach to spare a glance over to your nighttime companion to see what kind of face he was making. Would he make one? Shouldn’t he have known of this malady when your file was being processed? Maybe, because of their biology, demons don’t worry about these kinds of conditions. You mulled around internally in a tired haze before realizing that your eyes were slowly creeping shut. With a soft sigh, you moved the plate to the nearest table and stood up slowly.

“Anyways, thanks for the tea. Compliments to the chef.” You couldn’t help but let out a big stretch followed by an even bigger yawn. “I’ll head back to bed now. No guarantee I’ll sleep though.” You let out a huff that was supposed to be your attempt at a dry laugh. “You should get some rest too. Big day ahead, y’know? See you in the morning.” And with that, you exited the room and into the dim hallway.

The small smile Barbatos had dropped as soon as your back was turned to him. It was no secret that your time as a transfer student was being hindered by your lack of sleep. Even your recent medical file was perplexing in figuring out the cause of this disorder. It’s not genetic nor was it caused by a major traumatic event. Perhaps it’s something else? You did mention dream demons, after all, albeit it was more of a speculative idea that was brought up by your doctors in order to get a man of the cloth involved. It definitely couldn’t be Belphegor’s meddling, he thinks. He wouldn’t know about the human’s arrival.

It looks like he’ll have to do some digging after this exchange party concludes. He might need to start gathering evidence now while the human is still here. Diavolo will need to get involved, there’s no doubt about that. He would do anything to ensure the health and safety of the exchange students, after all. 

~

When everyone converged for a tour around the castle, some had noted that you looked less sluggish than usual. You simply waved them off, making up an excuse about the mattress not being up to human standards. Hopefully, you didn’t offend the demon prince when you said that. 

Still, you can’t deny that you feel a little well-rested. You did remember trying a method where you close your eyes for 15 minutes, wake up for another 15, close your eyes again, rinse and repeat. You usually had an alarm for this technique, but you didn’t want to disturb Simeon or Asmodeus as much as you already did slipping in and out of bed. You didn’t think you were able to keep track, but you did somehow, give or take a few minutes. Now you can actually pay attention to that cute little demon acting as the tour guide, explaining the intricate history of all the subjects painted on these beautifully crafted portraits. You couldn’t help but smile seeing Diavolo puffing his chest in pride when the Little D started talking about his father, the current Demon King. 

(But when it was mentioned that he's been sleeping at the bottom of Devildom for millennia you couldn't help but feel jealous. The most powerful being of all the realms is casually sleeping the decades away while you don’t even get the privilege of an hour of uninterrupted rest.)

You looked at the other paintings decorating the hall. Some plaques are written in what you can only presume is some kind of archaic language that only demons would know. If you could understand at least a part of it, then maybe you can get a deeper understanding of these pictures. 

A gentle call of your name and a not-so-gentle clap on your back broke your weak concentration. You tore your eyes away to meet Diavolo’s gentle gaze. “I see that her beauty managed to draw you in?” 

You blinked, trying to process what he said. “I-I’m sorry, whose beauty? I was…too focused on figuring out what the plaque said.” You managed to blurt out, causing the prince to chuckle.

“Oh, that? It simply reads ‘The Queen of Devildom’. In other words, that’s my mother.” His gaze turned to the painting, but you stayed fixated on him. He continued by adding, “This painting and some vague memories are all I have of her. She passed away several centuries ago when I was still an infant. My father would always talk about how…” And he continued to drone on from there. It wasn’t his fault, and you were genuinely trying to cling on to every word he’s saying because it’s important to him and you wanted to leave a good impression. On the other hand, the bleariness in your eyes started to cloud your vision again as a result of your lack of sleep. So you avert your gaze back to the painting unintentionally so you can wipe it away, biting your tongue to restrain the yawn that comes with it. Part of you hopes that Diavolo thinks that you’re speechless and moved to tears.

That thought quickly vanished when you opened your eyes to the painting. 

There was a choking noise, and you almost didn’t realize it came from you. It felt like the world around you completely disappeared, and only you and Him were the only inhabitants. 

Devildom seemed to freeze over the moment you made direct eye contact with the painted eyes of your tormentor. His scarred face did nothing to hide that cocky smirk he loves to wear. He’s holding up his bloodied claw to you in a way that couldn’t be anything else but a taunting gesture, as if he knows what he’s doing to you. His other hand wrapped around the back of a bloodied woman. By the way, the painting is framed, you assumed she was supposed to be sitting. Unfortunately, you know that’s not the case here. Her head dipped back, obscuring her face from you. You assumed she was originally wearing either a white or a similar light-colored dress, but that didn’t matter as it was dyed by the blood seeping out of that four-lined wound in her chest that you knew all too well. Just the sight alone made you reach for your hip where an old wound dimly throbs at the clothed contact. 

You didn’t dare move your gaze. You needed to keep an eye on him. 

“Hey…!”

You knew it. This opportunity to fly off his radar and find a way to kill him for good while he’s not looking was too good to be true.

“...!”

How did he even get here? Did he follow you down when you got summoned? What will he-

“...!!”

Time seemed to resume the second someone grabbed onto your shoulders and turned you around. You wanted-no, needed to keep an eye on him. Sadly, you don’t have eyes on the back of your head. Instead, you were forced to look at Diavolo's worried eyes. You didn’t even let him get a word in before you began panicking. 

“What have you done?!” You yelled. You pointed to the painting behind you. “Can’t you see I’m trying to protect you!”

“Protect us from…who?”

“Him!” You pointed to the portrait.

Only the painted eyes of a woman stare back at you.

It was too late for you now. The moment you allow yourself even to think you’re away from his control, you end right back into his hands. 

Nowhere is safe, not even in hell.

A maniacal laugh fills your ears as everyone crowds around your panicked state.

[asher-agere]

Azhy!! >-< cwn chu do lil chuchu adn cg dazai chriztmas hcz?!

Hi Ren! Of course! Also I just realized my only Christmas requests are from Ren- Weird how that works out. But!! I started this on the Eve of Christmas Eve! Meaning it’s time for Christmas requests to get priority! (Do you guys like my made up rules that make no sense?)

Little Chuuya + Caregiver Dazai CHRISTMAS EDITION

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

⛦ Gift giving! These two go all out with gifts! Chuuya will buy Dazai a gift and wrap it while he’s big. He gets personal gifts! Things Dazai will appreciate and cherish for years to come. But when he’s regressed he also gets Dazai a gift! He’ll draw him pictures and make Christmas cards. He’ll also get crafty! But crafty things like hot glue aren’t safe for a baby… This can lead to frustration and tantrums. But he can still make it work! His caregiver deserves the bestest gift ever!

₊ ⊹ Dazai gets so many gifts! He steals Chuuya’s money of course. He’ll track down fancy wine for Chuuya, buys elf hats of course, and tons of stuff for his baby! Any kind of pacifier, bib, clothing, etc. anything that says tiny on it? Yup already bought. All sorts of things saying “Santa’s little helper” Dazai loves making fun of his little Chibi! Regressed Chuuya loves all this stuff, oblivious to the teasing, but as soon as he’d in his big headspace Dazai will be like “Oh hey look! It still applies! Chuuya is soo small” This usually ends in Dazai being tackled to the ground

⛦ Decorating! Chuuya has so many fancy decorations. He’s got money! He’s gonna spend it however he wants to thank you very much! But a little baby can’t decorate… So Dazai helps! Dazai can be really silly though. For example decorating the tree? Lights and garlands all draped all over Chuuya. Chuuya tries to take it off as fast as Dazai puts stuff on him. Dazai will also hang ornaments off his hat, play fight using giant decorations like candy canes and stuff, chaos! Chuuya giggles and plays along of course but he also gets annoyed! Not really… But he acts annoyed!

₊ ⊹ So many Christmas movies! Chuuya just wants to watch his movies in quiet comfort. He can snuggle up in Dazai’s arms with some hot cocoa in a sippy cup! He’s a big kid! (3-6) he doesn’t need a bottle like some baby! However Dazai doesn’t watch movies quietly, he talks a lot. Like a lot a lot! And Chuuya loves having reasons to act annoyed with his caregiver! He’ll tell Dazai to shut up, and even just cover Dazai’s mouth with his hand, he’s also absolutely just- Put pacifiers into Dazai’s mouth. Though he only does that if he’s regressed on the younger side, Dazai has cooties! Ewwwww!

⛦ I think Chuuya likes to play in the snow, but only if he’d in an older headspace (4-6). If he’s a baby he just wants to stay inside and cuddle! But during the times he does go outside to play his favorite is snowball fights! Why? Because of his ability of course! Sure the gravity in canceled as soon as they touch Dazai, but that means they’ve already hit their target! He throws them so fast that Dazai can’t even catch up! I also see Chuuya as a generally warm guy, so he’s definitely tried going out in the snow without proper snow gear, meanwhile Dazai who gets cold quickly is just dragging him inside over and over to wrap him up. Chuuya complains about limited mobility of course

₊ ⊹ I don’t think they have matching pajamas, however I think they definitely found a brand that does a set in the same pattern but just like, slightly different? Dazai has a set covered in fish and Chuuya has a set covered in puppies. It’s just the cutest ever! If they were completely matching then it wouldn’t feel as true to them, they fight over everything trust me. Also if at any point the pajamas get ripped Dazai uses bandages as a patch! He’s surprisingly good at sewing, and it gives them a bit more of a matching look!

⛦ Chuuya will try staying up to see Santa, but Dazai won’t let him! Which is super rude considering how late Dazai stays up sometimes… So Chuuya goes to bed, but then he sneaks out! Dazai seems to be fast asleep in bed, so he sneaks into the living room to eat snacks and wait up! But he doesn’t see Santa… He ends up falling asleep on the couch. And when he wakes up..! There’s no presents? He goes crying to Dazai who tells him to double check everything, Chuuya finds it! In his stockings! It’s… Coal?

₊ ⊹ Dazai will just click his tongue and ask Chuuya if he did anything bad, Chuuya, the honest little guy! Admits to staying up late! He feels super bad (ó﹏ò｡) Dazai says that Santa values honesty! Maybe Santa will come back for him… So Chuuya runs off to get dressed since Dazai doesn’t need to help him with that. Then!!!! When he comes downstairs!!!! So many presents!!!! Chuuya stays oblivious but Dazai had the presents ready the night before, but he couldn’t reward Chuuya for staying up after bedtime! So he just played a little trick, then once Chuuya was honest, he got his presents still! And everyone was happy

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Started the day before Christmas Eve finished the day after Christmas… I’ve been busy (｡>﹏<) But having fun! My caregiver came over twice and I had a family day! Good times!

[too-cool-for-facebook]

I have fallen into the bottomless pit that is Gravity Falls and I can't get back out. Send help!

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

[dukeofthomas]

Do you see my vision

[vaggieslefteye]

CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"

[starscreamingg]

Detroit Become Human and why does this game decide that the problem in society is individual people treating androids poorly because those androids are choking them out of the workforce and NOT the corporations and governments who deliberately designed the androids to do this

[lilacs-stash]

basecase

Basecase 👍

[hello-there]

Communities are a new way to connect with the people on Tumblr who care about the things you care about! Browse Communities to find the perfect one for your interests or create a new one and invite your friends and mutuals!

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

[ryusaidate]

quick redraw of this from last year because i needed to feel good about myself :V

[vapefeare]

Don’t let an autistic Simpsons fan be your child’s teacher or else a Character may appear in your child’s art project

[fisherrprince]

miskellaneous