yandere!Aventurine x obsessed reader
Word Count: 1,143
Brief Description: Self-aware Aventurine poses as an online friend and "consensually" kidnaps you into the game, yandere x yandere type of situation
Brief-er Note: Miraculously people actually saw my last post, therefore I made the spacing slightly less atrocious but the grammar’s gonna stay shit for the balance
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Just imagine… one day you get a strange friend request. You must’ve declined this person a thousand times, wanting to keep your friend list clear as you didn’t need any pesky real people in this space reserved only for your precious Aventurine.
But fine, they were persistent enough that you cave, curious to see what they possibly wanted. The first thing you notice is that they had no profile picture at all, and named themselves “Aventurine”
“Must be one of those roleplay people,” you muse.
Then they’re messaging you daily, always checking in on you, speaking as though they were the character himself. And poor you, your delusional heart couldn’t take it anymore. You find yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with Aventurine as your HSR “friend” provides you with unlimited conversations that only serve to add more dimensionality to his character, making him feel like a real person
Slowly your life grew increasingly dull and colorless, while the sole center of your will to live became the charming blonde character with literal rose-tinted glasses and a captivating smile.
Your online friend only encourages this behavior, claiming that you need Aventurine to feel good and everything else in this world only serves to take away from that. And of course, why wouldn’t you agree? Where’s the flaw in that logic?
At night time, you’re barely able to fall asleep due to the sheer excitement overflowing your body, pathetically wrapping an arm around yourself as if it were Aventurine holding you.
If you only knew how he was watching you through the screen, luring you in closer and closer, waiting for the perfect moment to save you from your miserable dilemma.
The truth was that a while back Aventurine had figured there was something off about the Trailblazer. Every day around the same time they would stop moving and stand there blankly, as if someone had shut them off from the outside.
He found the source that controlled the trailblazer and when he shut it off, he was met with a different face: yours.
As the days passed Aventurine began to feel a strange connection with you, as though this world had a secret that only the two of you knew. There was nobody left in his world that he trusted, but you were different.
You weren’t a part of his world… and he could tie none of its cruelty to you. You were his fresh start.
His skin crawled with impatience at hearing you speak but never getting to touch you. He would blush when you showered him with endless compliments… did you really mean everything you said?
Aventurine becomes infatuated with all of your little mannerisms, memorizing the way you move, the fluctuations in your tone, how you had a habit of adjusting his character on the screen to mimic the height difference between you two in real life. What others would call creepily obsessed, Aventurine found adorable.
He’d hear you cry over the cruelty of your own world… and Aventurine had never felt more desperate, verging on the edge of insanity in his drive to find some method to communicate with you. He wanted you to use him to soothe any sorrows and even abandoned a business trip halfway through to find a way of communication.
Once he managed to access the messages that were in this “Honkai Star Rail” world he now knew he was a part of, he immediately sent a friend request only to be left wondering why you weren’t accepting it. Despite feeling devastatingly dejected, he persisted because he just knew he’d be the one to help you.
He tried to keep up his collected facade around his fellow IPC workers. He didn’t want them to find out anything about this, especially Topaz or Ratio.
One time a new worker almost caught him in the act. Almost. But it was enough to plant the seed of paranoia within him, that he might find out about your existence which was a secret only he was allowed to know of. The worker was never found again and Aventurine casually dismissed it as a runaway case, charming words instantly soothing their suspicions.
He was caught in a tug of war between selfish possession and the pure, unbridled need to be used by you however you pleased.
Normally Aventurine relies on mere chance… but for you, everything was precisely calculated. He would make sure that there was a 100% success rate.
When the moment is right, Aventurine messages you to close your eyes for a surprise.
He shuts off the trailblazer’s body, whispering half-sincere sorries as his heart pounded in excitement, knowing that once they were "asleep" he can bring you in. It was at this point that he realized he was too far gone, but he didn’t care about anything but you.
The first time he sees you in his world, you’re disoriented and glancing around in bewilderment. He awaits you with a calm smile and closed-off eyes, but you had spent so much time studying his appearance that you instantly saw the tremors behind his practiced expression, as though he were secretly incredibly nervous.
He reaches out a single gloved hand, not quite touching you so as to not shatter the sweet illusion. His expression was steady but his bright pink pupils rapidly flicker all over your face. He’s waiting for you to make the first move, just so that he could immediately comply with anything you asked for.
You, on the other hand, had been repeating to yourself “Aventurine is real” like a mantra 24/7 for the past few weeks. It didn’t take long for you to quickly accept your new situation although you felt like you could barely breathe from the intensity of your feelings at being inside of the HSR world.
Aventurine gets straight to the point and offers you a deal. “Come with me and I’ll take you to a paradise where it’s only the two of us for the rest of our lives,” he starts.
He’s sympathetic as he mentions the other choice, “I mean you could always choose to go back, but I don’t want you to live a meaningless life…”
Aventurine truly means it when he uses the word “choice.” Although it would tear him to pieces, he knew he would gladly take the eternal pain of your rejection if that was what you wanted.
The answer was obvious to you: you felt as though you were drowning in an ocean of nothingness, and here was the one beacon of light in your life offering to save you.
You try not to look too desperate as you immediately say yes, eyes half-crazed as your hands slightly tremble from resisting the urge to hug him with all your strength.
Luckily, he makes that choice for you the second he senses your stance and embraces your body, softly caressing your hair as he all but breathes you in. “As long as you desire it I will stay with you past anything. Feel free to use me as you wish.”
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💖Note:
I love the idea of a yandere situation where the obsession is reciprocated
I think this is gender-neutral but if I accidentally slapped the word pussy in there don't come for me (or do :D)
Anyways have a lovely day, may your thoughts be happy and dong be long :D =D
Unless you want a short one, you can have it don’t cry no pressure ;v;
Btw i haven’t slept in 2 days but that's ok because somewhere on ao3 an author hasn't slept in 2 years I'm sure
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Another bit on the pro-Pal fandom, this one axiomatic
Being a good person is not the same thing as pretending as though you believe you are a good person.
Being a good person takes work. You have to do stuff. Doing stuff is hard. Doing good stuff is harder, because you have to put thought into determining what you think is good beforehand. That requires self-reflection, honesty, a willingness to challenge oneself, and taking in information from other people to verify that your concept of "good" is, well, good.
The nice part is that once you evaluate what is good and start doing good things, it becomes easier. You gain inner calm, peace, and even joy.
("Good" is not always the same as "necessary". Necessary work can be a slog, or it can be horrific. But there can still be a calming satisfaction at the core, the security that this is necessary and therefore worthwhile.)
Pretending to believe you are a good person takes less immediate work. You don't have to do anything that positively impacts the real world, and you don't have to do any of that annoying, time-consuming self examination. But in the long run, it's more exhausting. By far.
You are insecure about whether or not you are a good person. You're pretending to believe you are good. You can't feel secure in something you pretend to believe. That insecurity gnaws at you, especially when you engage in bad behavior--harassment, doxxing, posting gore, swarming tags, encouraging and promoting suicide among your fellow "activists", telling your opponents to kill themselves, stalking, spamming unrelated content with literal Nazi propaganda.
None of those are good things good people do. And you understand that. You would think someone was bad if they did those things to you. The cognitive dissonance between who you want to be and who you really are, as determined by your actions, is scary. It's painful. It rears up every time someone you have labeled a Zio colonizer scumbag asks you to please just stop and you remember a time when you begged someone--an abuser, a troll online, a 4channer, your parents--to just stop please just leave me alone.
That must feel terrifying, and again, it makes you insecure. It makes you question if you're doing the right thing.
So you do the work to pretend to believe you are good. And that's far more work than goes into being good.
You recruit others, and all of you agree that you will pretend together. Tabletop gaming has taught us how powerful this imaginative play can be. You all reassure each other that you are good and you are right. But since you're all lying to each other, that means you must spend more, and more, and more time every day telling each other that you are good, chasing that high, that feeling that you are a good person and your actions are justified.
You tell each other that your "opponents" in this "battle" are not people, so anything you say or do to and about them is okay. You look at lists of "dehumanizing tactics" and instead of internalizing what those lists are teaching you, you go: "Ah, so if I don't use the word 'vermin', anything I say should be fine!" And then you say it.
You do not smile over good news. You only smile when one of your opponents logs off Tumblr because you made the site unusable and unsafe for them. (The expression you make there isn't really a smile, but we'll call it that, since the corners of your mouth do turn upward.) You tell yourself you're just attacking Zionists and pretend you do not see how you're really going after Jews.
No self-examination; that would mean admitting that you're lying to yourself and others. Instead, you traumatize and exhaust yourself until you're psychologically incapable of self-examination. You watch snuff films. You stare at mangled bodies until you're weeping and physically ill (certainly, you're too ill to check whether the video is real, or if it was taken from this conflict).
You force your beliefs into your fandom spaces so that others, the bad people, cannot escape their complicity in genocide.
But more importantly, you do that so you can't escape.
You cannot engage in any fandom but the pro-Pal fandom because that takes imaginative energy away from your biggest pretense--that you're a good person.
You are NOT hurting people because you are striking a blow for Palestinians. You are hurting people, including yourself, because you do not want to do the work of becoming a good person. You are afraid that self examination, at this point, will reveal to you that you are exactly the sort of person you believe you are fighting.
That fear, that insecurity, that dread, that restless sense that if you ever rest or stop or think for just a moment, you'll discover something awful? That's your conscience.
I do not ask you to change your mind about your political opponents. Your defenses are already on your lips and in your mind; a thousand How Dare Yous for me hinting that you look at other people as people. What I will ask you is to consider this.
I came to young adulthood just as Bush was elected, and the Iraq War post-9/11 was the first war I really followed as an adult. I did what you're doing now. I forced myself to look at photographs of destroyed bodies. I looked at photographs of torture perpetrated by US soldiers. I blogged about it obsessively.
I told myself that I was Doing My Part to end the war. But really, it's that the anxiety of being an American during the war made me insecure over whether or not I was responsible for all of this, and therefore, a bad person. If I pretended my looking at snuff photos was activism, and that it was good, then I could pretend to believe I was good and shout "Not in my name" at protests. I could deny my responsibility.
What I really did was traumatize myself. It's been almost twenty years. I can still see some of those torture pictures in my head. In the end, that is the extent of the impact of my online activism. The blogs are all long deleted, and nobody remembers them.
Only my trauma remains.
I do not want this for you. I want you to be wiser. There is still time. You can stop.
Stop hurting yourself and other people. Do the hard work. Examine yourself and your actions. Consider what your own heart is trying to tell you whenever you start to get the shakes and your throat gets tight. Do not take that feeling out on random people online because they have a Magen David in their pfp.
Once you have done the hard work, it gets easier. You will be able to advocate and work for whatever causes you believe in because you know they are good, not because you're joining your friends in cosplaying goodness. You will still be traumatized, and you will still be sad, and you'll definitely still get angry. You will have to face how you've acted exactly like your own past abusers, and that's a real tough row to hoe.
But at the end, you will be able to advocate and work because you want to, instead of feeling as though you must in order to keep up the masquerade.
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