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#it makes the whole thing so much more meaningful
miss-daisy04 · 3 days
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MINHO BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS
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➤ PAIRING: MINHO X GN!READER
➤ GENRE: FLUFF
➤ WARNINGS: NONE (?)
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Although your relationship starts a little rocky, being more distant from each other, it does eventually end up being where he's comfortable enough to pass gas around you.
Speaking of farting, this mf is GASSY. He'll eat a banana before waddling over to you and releasing it in your area. After he runs away like a child playing a crucial game of tag.
Minho never has and still isn't the biggest on physical touch, especially publicly. But, he warms up to it. Small kisses, holding hands, quick hugs, and silly glances can be stolen.
When you began dating he held the door for you, but I can't say the same now. Obviously, he would find you rather childish if you acted out over him not holding the door once. Yet, he still makes the gesture if he happens to be walking in front of you and isn't distracted.
Enjoys combining his love for you, with his love for cooking. Lee Know will make any food you can think of (if he doesn't know the recipe he'll search it up). Feels super proud of himself after so don't forget to complement the chef in any way possible.
Would you think THE Lee Minho would like hiking? Because he does...and he takes it quite seriously. He's been hiking many times but refuses to go with his friends because they may or may not have gotten lost that time. If you happen to be afraid of heights, he'll make a few jokes before apologizing and comforting you.
He is the best listener, but he doesn't show it. You can come talk to him about anything and he won't judge, despite what you might think. Usually, he's doing tasks such as laundry, dishes, cleaning the floor, etc., and tells you to just continue talking. This is because he feels like if he sat down and had a face-to-face conversation, he'd tear up, show his "weakness", or would be incapable of saying anything at all. Most of the time he gets upset at himself for doing such things, but he should know deep down that it's okay to feel that way and that he just cares about people (you) too much.
Cuddle cage is what he calls it after a long day where you two relax and cuddle, but he won't let go. One time he threatened to never let you go when you needed to use the restroom, a joke clearly. He did let you go at the cost of 2 more hours of snuggles.
I'm convinced he knows all the constellations. As a child he would go outside with his parents, using a telescope to point them out such as The Big Dipper. It's truly fascinating and charming to watch him get all excited about it.
Minho still owns his baby blanket which he brought everywhere as an infant. Surprisingly, he keeps it tucked away in his part of the closet and brings it out when he needs a sense of home, ever since he can't constantly see his parents.
He's very protective, but not overbearing. As stated before somewhere in here, he cares a bunch about you, but he still has respect for your independence. Sometimes he will take matters into his own hands, though.
One drink of alcohol can turn into meaningful words shared between the two of you. He asks about starting a family, getting married, taking long vacations together, and overall, being great partners for each other.
Comes up with the stupidest and most creative nicknames. Most are cute while others stop short of being absurd.
During self-care days, he's part of all of your gossip all of a sudden. Princess face masks, painting each other's nails, and yapping about everything new in your life make up for the whole 3-hour weekly routine.
The day he finally proposed, he was sweating with nervousness. He thought he was going to puke or pass out. Luckily, you said yes—which he thought was for his sake—nonetheless, you accepted his love, the ring, and the life you would be creating from now on. Knowing that only good things are to come.
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I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS! IF YOU DID PLEASE SHOW ADMIRATION OF MY WORK BY LIKING, REBLOGGING, SHARING, OR COMMENTING! IT REALLY SHOWS ME HOW I AM DOING AS A WRITER ♡
DIVIDER BY: @strangergraphics-archive
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biasbuck · 2 days
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BiAsBuck’s ficrec Fridays
Happy Fraturday everyone. I've not had much time for reading this week, so a smaller buddie focused list (and a little late after yesterday's grass touching) but back again with another round of the fic I've been reading this week. You can find previous rec lists here.
29 June 2024
Descendants of Cyrano by @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels was so much fun, and upped the romantic ante so well. Bobby ropes the 118 into practising DMing for Harry's D&D game, but they soon get into it. No more than Buck and Eddie, who find themselves roleplaying a slow burn romance with their characters...but of course, what's a little D&D emotional therapy and wish fulfilment between friends? Love it when obliviousness meets pining in a game of 'who can roleplay harder without realising why'.
Vary My Days by @ponyregrets is a post finale buddie/buckley diaz family fic. 'After Christopher leaves, Frank tells Eddie to get a hobby. Eddie picks Legos, Buck picks crochet, and they both wait for Chris to talk to them again.' There's a moment in this that made me pause and have to take a walk because I probably shouldn't have been reading it at work when I was about to be smacked in the face by lego flower induced feelings. 😭😭😭
sweet cheeks by @itsactuallycorrine 'It starts as a joke before they’re even together. Or, at least, before they realize they’ve probably been together in the most meaningful ways for a long time.' Buck coins a teasingly affectionate nickname for Eddie...and then puts his mouth where his money is. Honestly so impressed with how well this fic threads the needle on using petnames without becoming saccharine, it's hot and romantic and sweet AND funny. That denouement *chefs kiss*
Jello Body by @semperama 'I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man turn a woman off with such skill.' In which Buck find's Eddie's trick to relax the woman in 7x01 much more compelling than he's willing to admit. Something he ends up exploring at home in private. Because what he really craves is someone he can relax with...and he realises just who that person is to him. Just truly excellent voice kink fun with wonderful characterisation and a boatload of feelings.
some things fall when they're meant to fall by @sibylsleaves Eddie POV realisation fic through season 7, in which he breaks things off with Marisol but then Buck and Tommy start dating. '“Kinda makes you wonder what else you might’ve missed, huh,” Hen says. Eddie’s not thinking about it. He’s not.' Such an excellent take on what happens when your whole perspective shifts in a moment.
Happy reading!
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writing-for-life · 1 day
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The Sandman Overture and Exiles: Omnia Mutantur, Nihil Interit
Everything Changes, Nothing Is Truly Lost—Not Even Hope
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There once was a little girl (well, not a human girl) known by the name Hope Beautiful Lost Nebula, egg-daughter of Clearly who died in childbirth, sperm-daughter of Troubling World who was murdered by reavers. She is one of the most meaningful characters of the whole Sandman, so why does fandom hardly talk about her, not even those who have read the comics?
Understanding Hope, her story and her connection to Dream, is more or less understanding the entirety of The Sandman, and that's why I want to write about Hope and hope.
This contains major spoilers for Overture, Exiles and the ending of the Sandman, so if you’d rather not, this is your exit sign…
Pictures often speak louder than words, so I would like to start with these [I will add Alt text gradually, it’s a lot]…
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If you haven't read Overture, you would not know that the words Dream speaks in Hell when he wins the Oldest Game are a direct mirror of Hope's words, down to repeating "I am...". It is not a sudden epiphany about how to win—it is a memory.
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How much Morpheus truly remembers about the universe before the reset in Overture—it is something we cannot know for certain, and we have discussed it on here many, many times. I personally lean towards his remembering a lot more than we might think, and I've written about it in other metas before, e.g. here (super long with many tangents) or here. The narration is unreliable on this, because Desire in cat-form says in Overture that “there won’t be anything to remember”, but also that Dream will be “the only one to remember”. But whether he remembers every detail, or whether it is exactly the way Glory states in the above panel and it’s just that Hope's name is there for him when he needs it most, is secondary. What matters is that he does remember (side-note: It also matters because Dream promised her himself. And he never goes back on a promise, for better, for worse).
The above conversation with Glory is often taken as proof that there is no hope in the new universe, and by extension, the whole of the Sandman turns into a story with a hopeless ending. But in my opinion, that isn’t true. Yes, as a mortal being, Hope does not exist in the universe we are now in. But two very specific panels in Overture are directly contradicted by what happens in the later arcs of The Sandman:
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The Star says here, after Hope's above statement that she is not nothing, that she is Hope, "As if saying that might ever change something." [And the Star’s tone is equally mocking than that of Lucifer Morningstar when they say, “What are you then, Dream Lord?”, but that just as an aside.]
And since Hope is killed in the very next panel (because Time pulled Dream out of that situation, so he wasn't able to protect her anymore. Who needs parents, right?), we might be inclined to believe this.
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But by now, we all know that the Star is WRONG. These are not "three words that mean nothing." Once again:
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And also this (I couldn’t find a gif with the bit where she says, “I will never give up hope,” but we all know she does say these words):
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What else makes Dream/s prevail in Hell, what else are the dreams Morpheus speaks about here than hopes?
The Star is directly proven wrong. And so are we if we assume that Hope’s spirit doesn’t exist anymore. Because hope as a concept, hope as the thing that Morpheus remembers when he fights Lucifer/Choronzon in Hell, still exists. Even though this was said in the old universe before the reset, it DOES mean something. It DOES change something. Because Morpheus remembers.
Remembering Hope means to have hope.
And if we believe there isn’t any H/hope, we are also directly proven wrong by Time, who tells us that there will always be a universe in which Hope (the being) exists, and that there will always be one in which she doesn’t. And they, in a way, exist simultaneously. So even in a universe without Hope, her spirit, her memory, prevails. That is not a universe entirely without hope.
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And that is also our tie-in to Exiles, because Morpheus and Daniel also exist simultaneously. Omnia mutantur, nihil interit—everything changes, nothing is truly lost.
Morpheus has moved on, but he still exists—in story, in memory of those who cared about him, in Daniel!Dream, in the “Soft Places” at the fray where reality and dreams meet. And it is exactly what H/hope is in the Sandman universe—it keeps on existing: In stories, in memories, in the “soft places”. Because to hope means to love, and to love means to hope.
Sometimes, you need to find hope…
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Sometimes, she needs a bit of coaxing. Sometimes, hope means not to forget, so you keep going and remember what truly matters…
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Sometimes, we lose her, and even Hope loses memory of who she was, but we can be reminded…
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Hope might transform, but she never truly disappears in The Sandman.
On that note: I totally understand the attachment to Morpheus as a character. He is my favourite character, too. I cried buckets when I first knew what was going to happen (decades ago I dare say, and not at the end of The Kindly Ones, but during World’s End). And I think it is totally legitimate to want him to survive. Part of me does, too. It is a bit baffling to assume that people who read the story with acceptance and find meaning in it don’t care enough about Morpheus as a character to want him to survive, and that they are even a bit stupid for thinking The Sandman’s underlying message is one of hope. I don’t know many people who aren’t heartbroken in one way or another. But the story had to end the way it ended because it is not just about Morpheus and humanising him.
I often feel that by clinging to his character and person alone, we are losing sight of the deeper meaning, and we are closing our eyes to all the messages that are there, in plain sight, if we just let them speak to us:
The Sandman is not simply a story about Morpheus. He is the protagonist (even that could be argued), but he is also a vessel for the meaning and power of change, for letting go instead of clinging to what doesn’t serve us (and isn’t it ironic that by desperately wanting him to live and getting upset about the fact he doesn’t, we are doing exactly that instead of leaning into catharsis that actually has the potential to bring on change in us?).
Dream does not die because Dream cannot die. He changes. What dies is a point of view (symbolised by Morpheus). That’s it. That is the message. Omnia mutantur, nihil interit.
Hope is not gone. Not in this universe or in any other. Her spirit prevails. Because when she calls you out, when she touches you, you remember what matters:
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“I’m not,” he says after thinking for a hot second, and proceeds to do exactly that regardless.
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She touches him, she holds his hand, and calls him out.
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She touches him, she holds his hand, and he is honest with himself, for once.
Hope touched Dream, but did she touch Desire in the same way? I already wrote about it here, and I think in certain ways, she did:
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Hope prevails…
Hope is what saved the universe in the first place.
Hope is what Morpheus remembers when it matters.
Hope is what Nada finds again in A Hope in Hell after she gave up hope in Tales in the Sand.
Hope is what drives Unity and ultimately lets Rose survive.
Hope springs eternal in people like Rosemary who are willing to help and overcome their own fears. And in the TV series, that hope gets rewarded, and that’s important (I am glad they made that change).
Hope is even what drives Morpheus, but to see that, we need to take our eyes off only focusing on his having hope for himself, his having hope for his point of view (that does not serve him or anyone else, and he knows). If that’s the hope we’re looking for, we won’t find it. No, that’s not entirely true either. Because again, Dream can’t die. But the true reason is:
Morpheus is bigger than that. The story is bigger than that.
He has hope for humanity and sentient beings that are under his purview—what else are dreams but hopes? And Morpheus as the “point of view” understands that said point of view needs to make space for a better, kinder, more human (for lack of better term—human=/=man but human=with humanity) Dream to exist. And said Dream comes into existence with Daniel, but he also still contains all that was Morpheus. See it as having learned from experience and moving on with a new point of view instead of letting our hurt define us and holding on to it indefinitely. It is something we recommend in real life all the time—why can’t we find it in this story? Because it is right there, again, in plain sight: Omnia mutantur, nihil interit.
I am not saying this is how you have to see it. But I am saying that engaging with the story on this level makes it easier to come to terms with an ending that is commonly interpreted as hopeless because we can't see the forest for the trees.
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Hope is hope. And she saved the universe and us. Not just once, but many times over. The new universe isn’t the hopeless, sad universe. The old one was. The new one has hope because it keeps existing. With Hope’s spirit and a Dream who has changed…
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starcurtain · 11 days
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Some Speculation on Kaveh’s Father
I actually started this post right after the Parade of Providence event last year, but never got around to finishing it. However, in light of Kaveh still not appearing on a banner, I decided to dust this one off and get it finished, so that I’d have at least a little Kaveh content in my life after being so cruelly denied by Hoyo.
So, without further ado, some stuff about Kaveh’s father I did not see discussed elsewhere but which I think is especially interesting.
1) Kaveh’s father likely first became depressed/disillusioned with humanity after witnessing (or possibly being the victim of) a murder attempt.
Without knowing the full situation and reading all the additional text from the Parade of Providence event, I feel like this might have been easily missed, but the entire “Kaveh’s dad became disillusioned and depressed and retreated to the desert to help people” seems--at first--like it came out of nowhere. He had a lovely family, was the pride of his darshan, and was eager and excited to win the crown to bring it home to his son. Yet theoretically, he did not win the crown (and, in fact, the crown was stolen before the last event and may not have been there during the Avidya Forest fight, so when, as the non-winner, would Kaveh’s father have come into contact with it to encounter Sachin through it in the first place?) Why would Kaveh’s father’s personality take such a massive turn all the sudden? What would drive an excited, happy person to suddenly withdraw from everything he loved and everyone who loved him, if he didn’t actually win the diadem to be influenced by it in the first place?
The event implies there was a trigger:
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Huvishka’s friend (who is described as “honest and kind but vulnerable and sensitive”--obviously Kaveh’s father) went into the Avidya Forest with the other contestants, where no one was watching, and we’re not told what happened except that the Akademiya responded to whatever occurred by shutting down the entire competition and banning any sort of events in the future that cause contestants to become so desperate they would “fight to the death.” 
This is a pretty obvious implication that Kaveh’s father either witnessed two other contestants attempt to kill each other or was the victim of an attempted murder himself, which prevented him from winning the competition even though he was the favorite to win by a long-shot. This feat of betrayal, demonstrating the depths to which humanity would sink, likely shook the idealistic world views of a sensitive person such as Kaveh’s father. This brush with death and with humanity’s capacity for evil in the forest would have been the exact trigger needed to make Kaveh’s father particularly vulnerable to Sachin’s message of nihility and despair, leading to the downward spiral that sent Kaveh’s father into the desert.
2) Sachin may have way more culpability for Kaveh’s father’s death than Kaveh realizes. 
For a while after the event, I was under the impression that Kaveh’s father must have met Sachin’s consciousness through the diadem and that’s where he got the idea to go into the desert. However, something was always a bit odd about the timeline, because...
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Sachin was still alive when he gave the Akademiya his estate. This is why no one actually knew/believed he was fully dead, even to the present--because he willed the Akademiya the estate while he was alive and told them he was going to be personally watching over the contestants to award his estate to them if he deemed them worthy successors to himself. 
So did Kaveh’s father run into a fragment of Sachin’s consciousness... or did he run into Sachin himself? The game doesn’t really clarify:
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The fact that Sachin’s recording recognized Kaveh’s appearance as familiar makes me think it is much more likely that the consciousness preserved in the diadem already had knowledge of Kaveh’s father at the time it was preserved. Aka, Sachin actually met Kaveh’s father in person. This also makes sense of why, even though the diadem was stolen away during the last event and Kaveh’s father did not win it, he would still know about Sachin and Sachin’s research. (However, as a counterpoint, I guess we could say that the Diadem!Sachin had enough sentience to maybe have its own memory, separate from the real Sachin? And reached out to Kaveh’s father mentally even though he didn’t win the diadem? Maybe?)
Still, there’s one really notable aspect of the timeline that I think is important: Right after the Interdarshan Competition twenty years ago, the one which Kaveh’s father competed in, we know that Sachin went back out to the desert. 
Who else went out to the desert exactly 20 years ago? Kaveh’s father, obviously.
This overlap in the timelines makes it seem very likely that Kaveh’s father, who failed to win the competition because of a murder attempt (and therefore never got the diadem), was nevertheless reached out to by the real Sachin, who saw in Kaveh’s father the kindred disillusioned idealist he was looking for to pass his research torch onto. From this connection, Kaveh’s father was driven to either directly accompany or at least pursue the still living Sachin into the desert. (This works even if we say it was only Sachin’s consciousness he was contacted by--in either case, he would have been driven go to out to the desert to meet the real, temporarily still living Sachin to join his quest to help the desert people.)
Only for Kaveh’s father to meet his end there while trying to aid a caravan that had fallen into trouble. What a tragic coincidence, a completely unpredictable twist of fate.
Or... was it?
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How odd, in the same quest that Kaveh’s father’s connection to Sachin is discussed, that we’re given an account of a caravan that appears to have been deliberately sabotaged, where money was taken (from Sachin) and somehow sparked a betrayal, a “trial of human nature” that caused many people to die, with the takeaway being the exact belief Sachin wants to pass on and reinforce in others, that humans are horrific creatures who can only make the world a worse and worse place. 
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We know that Sachin’s “research” specifically consisted of doing this exact thing, manipulating situations to test humans’ moral character, conducting trials/experiments on “human nature” to reinforce his belief that humans were fundamentally selfish beings.
(It’s no accident the merchant ledger we receive uses the exact same words as Sachin does, “trial of human nature” and “experiments on human nature.” We’re supposed to assume what happened to the caravan in the note was deliberate sabotage on Sachin’s part, to create a scenario where he could observe the cruelties of humanity.)
Why would the game go out of its way to give us an account of a caravan being deliberately sabotaged and used as an experiment if there was no connection at all between what happened with this caravan and what happened to Kaveh’s father, who was also killed helping a floundering caravan?
It’s just too much of a coincidence to accidental. I think the implications of the ledger Dori gave us and the similarities in the language on that ledger to Sachin’s ideas was supposed to lead the audience to wonder:
Could Kaveh’s father have died in one of Sachin’s final “human nature experiments”? 
Was the caravan Kaveh’s father tried to help one that Sachin deliberately sabotaged, expecting to observe humanity’s selfish, self-preserving nature?
I think there’s enough evidence in the story to suggest that we players are at least supposed to consider this a possibility. (There’s no reason to give us the ledger about the manipulated caravan otherwise.) And if you consider this a possibility, it would mean that Sachin didn’t just indirectly cause Kaveh’s father’s death--he would be the direct cause of Kaveh’s father’s death, an actual murder brought about by Sachin’s beliefs that humanity’s self-centered nature made everyone beyond saving.
This idea transforms Kaveh’s father’s sacrifice into the ultimate rejection of Sachin’s beliefs. This would mean that, even in a situation manipulated to bring out the worst in human beings on purpose, Kaveh’s father gave everything to protect the lives of others, for no gain at all of his own, doing everything he could just to desperately try to make the situation (the world) better.
SO yeah. I’m not saying we have hard evidence here, but I think the quest was trying to lead players to speculate very, very hard on the possibility that Kaveh’s father’s death was no accident.
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3) Finally, a cuter piece of speculation to brighten things up after that despair bomb I just dropped: it’s highly likely that Kaveh’s father had more than one Aranara buddy!
During the Parade of Providence, we hear about an Aranara who learned to read from Kaveh’s father:
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However, this is a bit confusing, because later in the event, we hear someone else say that Kaveh’s father taught an Aranara to write specifically when he was a child:
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While of course it is possible that Kaveh’s father taught the first Aranara, Arakasyapa, to both read and write, I think there’s also another possible answer here about why Kaveh’s father would separately mention teaching an Aranara to write:
Because there is an entirely different Aranara in the story which was taught to write by a “good Nara” who was a child--Arashakun, from the quest “Courage is the Heart.”
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In this sweet little world quest, the Traveler discovers a flower talisman that has been snatched by some hilichurls, and seeks to return it to its rightful owner, a timid and shy Aranara named Arashakun. 
We learn that Arashakun once had a kind-hearted “good Nara” companion who taught him to write (sound familiar?), and who, in order to encourage the poor Aranara, gave him a single flower dubbed “courage.” In describing this child companion, Arashakun specifically states that his companion was no strong warrior like the Traveler’s twin, but instead a gentle, comforting presence who never teased the Aranara.
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All of these descriptions line up particularly well with Kaveh’s father, who the game repeatedly describes as vulnerable, kind-hearted, and giving to others.
To drive home the possible connections to Kaveh’s family even further, this quest takes place very, very near to the Palace of Alkazarzaray. 
Although we don’t have any guarantee, I think it is strongly implied that the “good Nara” mentioned by Arashakun is indeed Kaveh’s father, and the “courage of the heart” that he extended to Arashakun as a child is the very same courage, kindness, and generosity that drove him to reach out to the people of the desert, hoping to make a difference in their lives--even at the cost of his own.
The takeaway? Kaveh’s father was a truly good person who aided everyone he came across, from timid Aranara to people whose very lives were in danger. He never meant to leave his family, and especially not his son, but repeatedly fell afoul of the worst humanity had to offer and was driven into a situation in which all he could do was offer his very life to uphold the altruism that was central to his idealism--the same idealism and goodness that Kaveh carries as “courage” in his own heart.
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i found this lore entry recently and have not stopped thinking about it since. it is HYSTERICALLY funny to me that fandaniel's villain origin story was just being a fuckin boomer
One of few great minds in a land that had seen the slow, yet steady numbing of its people's intelligence, Amon long lamented the sorry state of Allag , concentrating his early scientific efforts on developing medicines to increase mental capacity . He soon realized that it was not knowledge that the Allagans lacked. If anything, they had too much. What his people lacked was a leader. With a renewed sense of focus, Amon shifted his studies to the field of vivimancy, and soon was conducting experiments on his own flesh in order to attain his final goal - the resurrection of Xande the First.
— Encylopaedia Eorzea Volume I, p. 25
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv amon#ffxiv fandaniel#i just. i Just.#the fact that he tried to fix it by doing research to literally just give people extra brain cells#before deciding the problem was ipad babies is KILLING me#i don't know why it's so hilarious but oh my fucking god#like obviously his real problem with it was a) that whole post about how there's Fun and there's Satisfaction from Achievement#which you need a balance of; because if you don't get enough fun you get stressed#but if you don't get the feel-good chemicals that come from working at and accomplishing things#it will fuck you up Badly; and make you horribly depressed; and you will probably try and substitute more and more Fun in a vicious cycle#b) not only did he live in the depressing nightmare sinkhole of resulting society-wide mental illness#but his attempts to preserve his sanity with meaningful work kept being appropriated into Fun by other people instead#and c) his exposure to the endpoint of 'utopia'; where everyone is happy and all their needs are (supposedly) met#was watching people get Bored and proceed to entertain themselves with horrific sadism and cruelty#he doesn't come right out and explicitly make that connection out loud; but going by his speech in the aitiascope it's pretty obvious#there's a Lot going on there; especially once you start getting into how he leans *into* the cruelty he hated so much#i could go on and probably i'll write up posts about it. it's fucked up and tragic and on a serious narrative level it tracks#but it's also SO SO FUNNY#ffxivtag#FF tag#shitposting#ableism cw#endwalker spoilers
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imflyingfish · 7 months
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Honestly i dont like sculk spreading/corruption storylines theyre really boring with a few exceptions
#at least make it MEANINGFUL. OR AN ALLEGORY SURE#but a lot of thr timr its just like#augh... ohnoo... thr sculkk.. its spreading and taking me ovrr.... fukkkkk.....#and then its either like poof all better now or oops fuck everythinfs dead the end#i just dont think theyre cool unless they have a specific meaning#like cub's sculk arc? that was really boring man ur not even from that server and ir didnt like do anything#i mean its funny from a 'its cub' pov but aside from that ehhh..... nah......#The corruption from s1 esmp was cool however but more because it served an actual function it was a good mass server event not caused by a#specific player but instead a mass storylune and players got to interact with it in interesting ways#but also there was never the threat of oh.... noo.... the entire world will become corrupted it was more WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BIGASS PLANT#DOING HERE#and it tied into very nicely xornoth and that#esmp2 ALSO kind of had a corruption line with the fae but like.... what was that even.... i literally dint remember and i was there.....#it was boring......#oh and also owens nlsmp corruption storyline.... sigh....#there was so much potential for Sparrow and that storyline and i wish Owen had just gone 'okay i need people to roleplay as online for this#narrative' like Oli does#like u cant really do long term storytelling on what is a short term server if you arent ready to direct people and allow yourself to#control YOUR story the whole sculk spreading thing just seemed like a copout due to the server ending#where i think owen should have put his own content above what is technically true#its roleplay#like owen does roleplay well. but the difference is on the POW servers is that theres a set time and most people are on at the same time#but that just doesnt occur so much on youtube based smps and thats why i think until owen is able to direct more (outside of shared rp with#scott specifically) he's probably better suited towards streamed roleplay later edited#idk sculk storylines are boring basically they can work but only in an active server i feel#like with owens it was like 'oh fuck the sculk is spreading i have GOT to stop this!' meanwhile everyone else on the planet is like already#dead following his videos like idk man just didnt hit#there was also no specific defeat or true responce to the sculk either like ik there was the vault but idk#like overall. it was fine and i enjoyed it but thst doesnt mean i like sculk storylines
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subarashiihibi · 1 year
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logging onto tumblr and seeing blatant ableism was not something i was expecting but Alright
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themyscirah · 3 months
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Started thinking about the Amanda Waller + Ben Turner relationship again.... fuck, I'm gonna need a minute
#I JUST- SHDIAUDJSHDSHEYEYRYRYRY guys. guys#i know none of you see my vision and thats okay. i will make you see my vision. i will force you to see my vision. i will-#like jesus fucking christ oh my god. its so interesting and gives me so many emotions and just!!!#i know im not making sense bc none of my moots are sui sq fans and also like half of the content fucking me up specifically here is in my#head because i cant stop thinking about my absolute power fix it au but like!!!!!!!#also the fact i have a fix it for a comic that isnt out yet is so funny to me. its literally fucking real though. god knows we need it#may my own content carry me through the dark times (extreme villain waller arc)#anyways this fucks me up so bad you dont even know. someday ill actually explain it#dc hire me to write a suicide squad ongoing PLEASE. i could do it so good it would be so fucking good dc PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭#also like this isnt me shipping them btw. like 110% not that. just to clarify.#i wouldnt even call it a friendship bc like. theyre not friends really. he has the most equal dynamic with her i would say but it still isnt#equal. shes v much his boss even though they have an understanding and respect there#like she believes and trusts in him much more than anybody really even himself. like she sees the good man and the leader even when he#doesnt. but she isnt nice about it. and there is a lot of conflict between them when there needs to be#like as much as ben is “wallers man”--the team leader she wanted from the beginning before rick flagg pushed his way in#ben i would say is still a very moral person even when lost and unsure of himself and his goodness (which is like one of his main things)#like i feel like while amanda can lean very into a “the ends justify the means” mindset in her worse moments and do bad things to get#herself out of a corner ben has like a deep and meaningful understanding of how the choices of your methods and how you act can weigh on you#like even though he was brainwashed and whatnot (thats still the story right? i cant remember) he holds a lot of guilt and baggage over his#actions and i think is able to temper amanda's worse tendencies in terms of that by calling her out when he recognizes that behavior#idk. i just really think that amanda waller and the suicide squad as a whole has lost its way without a more moral authority presence there.#like someone who can call her out and keep them more on track. which i really thing ben is and could be#i just very much am interested in their dynamic and how that would look like as equals and how i think they could help each other.#which ofc is what my wip is about and revolves around#blah#sui sq
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stellacadente · 3 months
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hi Nico! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this, I hope you’ll be okay and can take some time to yourself :( <3
thank youuu silver i really appreciate this!! i'll be okay, shit just isn't Fantastic rn been struggling w this and other stuff so like. it's not easy but i'll be fine i'm trying my best to take care of myself and find peace within myself which is the hardest place to find it but honestly i think the only one?? but yeah ly and i hope you're doing well 🩵
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siena-sevenwits · 1 year
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Disclaimer: These thoughts are more emotionally than logically expressed, and reflect my own experience and preference.
#I have some beef with Lockwood and I say this as someone who really enjoys both the show and the books.#I've been doing a rewatch to introduce it to my dad (who loves it!) but we just hit Episode 5 and - is it just me but does this episode#plunge rather deeper into the darkness than we see in the previous episodes? It makes sense narratively of course#Complete Fiction has the task of structuring it such that there's a proper midpoint shift in the series and in my own works I increase#the stakes around this point and really let the protagonists struggle. So it's not so much that I have an issue with things getting#more focused dangerous and difficult. I don't know that I have a logical reason for the unease I feel with Episode 5 - there's just somethi#vaguely disturbing to me about it. It may be my own personal sensitivities. The interrogation scene at Winkman's has absolutely nothing#graphic about it and I appreciate the discretion - but it's just so intense - the threats to draw on Lockwood's face with the heated#instrument - the whole electric shocks sequence - I have been told I have a particularly vivid and empathetic imagination so I may just#be filling in too many gaps and feeling the scene more intensely than some would but it genuinely bothered me. More so on rewatch#though I didn't like it the first time either. I wonder too if it's because on rewatch I can compare it to the scene in the book#Gosh - the book scene is *comedic!* 'Let's disguise ourselves as ditzy tourists and while you check the backroom I'll let my coins#fall all over the place and crawl around under the tables loaded with antiques and freak the owners out! And when they get caught#Winkman just lifts them off the ground menacingly and chucks them in the street. The fact that we had to turn this into a midnight#torture scene for TV - I don't know - I don't like it. And just the atmosphere isn't as balanced as in the other episodes. So many flashbac#to grotesque corpse faces which are somehow a lot more disturbing than the CGI ghosts which feel much more Halloweenish#Not much love and light carved out in the darkness. There's some for sure! And even in the torture scene that bugs me I appreciate how it#shows Lockwood's heart and allows us to explore some meaningful territory that the ditzy tourist scene doesn't#I'm just griping and mainly hoping that the rest of the series is more how I remember it from first watch. The warmth of the Portland#Row gang means a lot to me. Stacking this dark feel on top of the discomfort I have with the harsh language rubs me the wrong way#(Thankfully I have online filters so the language isn't an issue for me but it does make me more reluctant to recommend to friends.
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mintaka-iii · 8 months
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My mental health can't possibly good if an essay on the found family trope gives me such an indescribable feeling of hollowness and yearning
#Generally I know things are bad when some media is unbearable to consume#It's weird because I'm not overtly anxious and I'm less depression paralyzed than a few months ago#But I'm so terrified and hopeless about grad school applications that it's affecting my whole psyche#Even though it's not even a problem in my current life#It's just unbearable to think about or work on and it has been for like two years#Which means it's kinda hard to make any kind of meaningful change that would make me LESS terrified and hopeless#So I don't FEEL anxious or ACT anxious but I'm scared to death and compartmentalizing it#Also I've been in this town where I know none of my friends for more than a year now and also it's so small and I'm so fucking lonely#I don't FEEL lonely like it's not acute and I'm calling and texting people really frequently#But then I never realize I miss my sister until I see her again#And I didn't know how much I missed seeing all my friends irl until I did#Exactly twice in the past year#So there's clearly multiple things fucked up in my subconscious and they're affecting me but I can't directly get a handle on them#Also I want nothing more than to get an astrophysics PhD but it's SO much more competitive than physics#Cause the programs are so small#So do I apply to what I want and increase my chances of being rejected AGAIN#Or do I try and write essays about being interested in something I'm not really#No matter which program I get into I can probably do work in the other in actuality#But I feel like I can't apply to a physics program and exclusively talk about all the faculty I want to work with one department over#And most places don't let you apply to both
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01tsubomi · 1 year
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kamikaze girls. cult classic in the lolita fashion community as a story that explores the subculture alongside the subculture of girl biker gangs. there’s a movie and it’s really really good so i decided to read the original novel too. and mamma mia
the thing abt the wlw experience is that the bond between girls is. unexplainable and deep and special. while researching for a video essay school project about yuri last year i found an article by a japanese yuri scholar lesbian who found it confusing that so much american wlw media is focused on unambiguous in-your-face romances, when yuri as a genre is based on how those bonds between women, even while being labeled platonic, are deeply deeply intimate and important and meaningful. there’s a lot in there abt how yuri media isn’t meant to prove a point about acceptance which is why it’s not considered meaningful to canonize and clarify romances the way it absolutely has been in the scope of western queer media, but it’s also stayed on my mind bc there are so many sapphic YA books i’ve read that kinda just. have the girls blush abt each other being pretty and wanting to kiss and stuff without really getting at all into just how deep and meaningful bonds between girls are even before romance and how in female friendships there’s this sense of knowing who you are with each other and just feeling understood and comfortable and trusted. but anyway this is the last line of the kamikaze girls novel
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“the way you would with a lover, i let the breeze wash over me, and gently, nestled my head in ichigo’s back.”
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killajust · 9 months
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binghe's fandom is very committed
#not me tho id sell him to satan for one corn chip at this point#i REALLY need to reread sv to rekindle whatever affection i have for him kfjskjf#i always say the only one i care about is the one in my head and like#i wish it werent true but the more time i spend outside the source#and inside the fandom w everyone's takes n shit the less i like him#this makes me sad. i wanna go back#unfortunately tho i think they are correct and im in the wrong here#i very much do not belong in this fandom fkjgsfjk#i love all mxtx's characters equally! (2 seconds later) i don't care for binghe#but i want to. so maybe id better give him another chance when the time comes#he wont ever have any kind of grip on me like song lan does (has 2 lines and is dead the whole fucking time)#but i'm not asking for that either#like i WOULD like him probably if he didnt have the ONE trait i cannot stand#which is the one thing everyone loves him for#and which sadly defines his entire character#so ALAS!#all i want for him is the ability to form meaningful bonds with more than one person#but since everyone is so invested in his obsession with that saultry little binch in the bottom lsft#i am alone in this probably. nobody cares if he has 0 friends#all he needs is his guy.#its not for me it doesnt tickle my brain good#im on a roll today i just need to get this OUT somewhere safe or i will go literally insane#so much shit has been bubbling up in me is2g#the reason lwj is number one mxtx ML champion for me is bc he actually gives a fuck about people outside of wwx#even xue yang shows a little more goddamn social instinct#<- cannot go two seconds without mentioning xue yang#nah but real. the thing that stuck out to me for sv was the like. i guess reveal#like 'your mother did love you' kind of deal w/e that was memory is fuzzy#and that meaning something.#that + him kinda waiting on the outskirts for sqq to come to him had me thinking maybe there was room for development
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bumbleblurr · 2 years
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listen I think bulkhead is far MORE Boyfriend Material than most of the tfa cast but I doubt the majority of the fandom is ready for that conversation
#i admit i do obsess over the 3 out of 6 main guys the fandom goes crazy over#(the 6 main guys being bee‚ b1urr‚ shocks‚ megs‚ op‚ & blitz)#but in my defense. i only would want to kiss bee and thats it the other 2 i like to chop into pieces and cook them in a stir fry#bulkhead though is by far more hunka hunka burning love than all these losers#more hubba hubba even akdgdldhdlhffl#he goes so unappreciated tho including by myself i dont post any of my drawings of him :[#i think maybe its bc the writers dont. Bother giving him a huge struggle or anything so ppl dont get as invested in him#which could have Definitely been done bc bulkhead had this whole thing in the first ep#where hes like ''im not a brainless brute!! i have a sensitive side too!''#though they. resolve that by ''forget sensitive smashing stuff is fun'' bc this is a show for little boys in the early 2000s#oh wait did i say first ep i meant like the. 3rd ep ig#ok anyway#they do?? kinda touch on it again in later episodes here and there like the dinobots ep but its never.#Really Explored as much as i think it could have.#bc honestly i Love the arc bulkhead goes though where he goes to art#to express himself & kinda try to prove to the world that theres more depth to him than just The Big Guy#but they use it to be like ''BULKHEAD SUCKS AT ART LMAO!!! look at everybody making fun of bulkhead bc isnt it SOOOO funny''#like its not :[ but again this is a boys cartoon from the early 2000s idk what i was expecting#i think if it were made later it would have tackled that a lot better#and Actually have bulkhead being an artist be smth a lot more meaningful#idk maybe thats like me as a sappy artist though#at least the little kernels of a well crafted compelling bulkhead focused narrative are there. they just never put them in the ground#ogh maybe i should start obsessing over bulkhead and do the shit canon failed him on#this is how bulkhead lovers can win#i'll singlehandedly convince everyone that man is kissable (/j i dont actually think i have that skill to do that)#🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦
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It's not that I don't love that she was there, but Kay really had no business being in AAI2
#how do i say this.. you know how the og trilogy is just as much maya's story as it is phoenix's (arguably more so hers because of#the impact of the fey clan?) and how dgs is also susato's story as much as it is ryuunosuke's because it's her family and dream who's#actually central to the plot? and how investigations 1 was also kay's story because it involved the truth of the yatagarasu?#yeah that's not the case in aai2. she's quite literally just along for the ride here and is actually used to further edgeworth's#character more than anything else. i feel like this is most obvious/egregious in the forgotten turnabout where they literally make her#a totally different person so she can be wholly reliant on him and it's just !! i like aai2 i genuinely do but i like the parts of it#better than it's whole.#made that whole long kay post and STILL didnt address the forgotten turnabout which is what i wanted to talk about to begin with#smh#also her being there kind of makes their whole separation at the end of aai really funny instead of meaningful?? you know how the og#trilogy had rfta to make you feel how long it's been since phoenix and maya have seen each other? yeah aai2 literally does not do that#both from meta and in game perspectives it's been like. 15 minutes since she's stepped out and it's so.#shkadgkadh#the problem with kay in aai2 is that the Yatagarasu thing is done. it's over. and her whole story revolves around that!!#so if you cant come up with something else to add to it it leaves her just hanging about#waiting to fuel other people's stories#i just. ive seen people marvel at how the same director who made aai and aai2 could go on to make the trainwrecks that were#dd and soj but if you compare kay's treatment to trucy's there you'll see some similarities
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direwombat · 2 years
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it’s like 84 years off, but i can’t wait to reveal the significance behind/backstory i invented for the music box and “only you” in fragile creatures and i hope it makes people just as emotional as i was when i came up with it :’)
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