#it makes me feel so right so calm idk idk
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icarusredwings · 2 days ago
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This only fits into my idea that Wolvie is demi. Sure he knows someones hot when he sees them but he dosn't really... feel anything.
He's been alive so long that people doing stuff to him just feels... kind of annoying at this point? Like yeah, okay, in Logan the drunk wife girl flashed her tits at him and he snorted, and rolled his eyes all embaressed but I don't think this counts as "hot and bothered." I think this counts as "omg lady calm down lol im just the driver lol" he did think it was a nice gesture but its an empty gesture and thats why it dosn't really do anything for him.
I think this is why he and Kurt get along so well (HERE ME OUT) Because one of kurts biggest "flaws" is that he is extremely touchy, and while the other x men cant touch logan much or lean on him, sit on him, etc, Kurt can full pearch on him and Logan dosn't care. Actually he does care. He's glad. He's happy that Kurt feels this safe with him. Happy that he feels comfortable enough to be around "the angry guy with claws". Happy that Kurt openly gives him affection without there being this weird "okay now we have to fuck" silent agreement. Logan is so tired of trying to get to know someone, cuddle them and hug them, without them immediately expecting them to sleep together. (*JINGLES KEYS* Stay with me!)
And i mean... no.. hes not sex repulsed clearly but it dosn't feel right in his chest. To fuck someone and then they leave. Wolverines mate for life so I think the thing is, what gets him hot and bothered is proving youll stay. Sticking it out with him through all times, telling him you're never going to leave him.
Then- Oh good golly then? Everything is horny worthy. You could just be sitting there and he'd get all pissy because now hes horny and mad about it. You could cassually bring him food and say you thought he might be hungry and he'll let the food get cold because hes too busy fucking you, and then eat the food after to show gratitude and appreciation.
Logan is not meant for hook up culture. He is made for "Our souls are so intertwined that seperating us would put a tear in the universe."
He could see someone whole ass naked and just blink and ask where their clothes went. You could tell him that you want him to do the dirtiest things and he'd probably just blush and think you have alternate motives.
I like to think that he does sometimes finally accept a hook up here and there simply because A. Why not. He hasnt been held in awhile and B. Why not he's literally gonn live forever might as well get some tail if they're offering.
But if and when he finds that person(s) he's locked in. Theres nothing no one else could do that would make him all hot and bothered. Someone could literally give him a lap dance and hed probably just sit there confused as hell, tell them stop, or just leave. It doesn't do anything for him at all.
Now litsen (at least in Finding Home Au, cause theyre married) Wade could come slip into bed with him, very gently rub his arm, kiss him goodnight, then cuddle into his back and Logan would automatically sit up and glare at him cause now hes hard.
"Why do you keep doing that?! Stop!"
And wades all confused "stop what?" Cause hes genuienly tired, but too bad cause Wolvie puts that baby to sleep a different way. (Best sleeps of his life btw)
Morph too, I feel like in 97 morph gets a lot of passes for jokes and touchiness. I also feel like that for the first week (maybe a month idk logan is dumb) or so logan thinks moprh is joking and dosnt actually care about him in that way, so morph starts saying more genuine and sensitive things to him and Logan now is actually blushing, still in denial but is catching butterflies, hoping that morph isnt lying but is too scared to make a move, worried their friendship will end.
Man idk what to say about storm. Logan was hot for storm the first time she punched him in the face. Idk what to tell yall, hes a simp for that woman and I am too so like I get it. Id be terrified to fuck storm though if I was litTERALLY MADE OF METAL like bruh he has more balls then me cause id be scared shed kill me after I ate her out by electrocuting me with my skull crushed between her thighs. ANYWAY
🫡🫡GLORRRY GLORY WHAT A HELLUVA WAY TO DIE 🪖🪖💪
I think Logan would be very difficult to get hot and bothered. Like. He's been through so much yanno?
Like flash a titty at this man and he'll probably be like, "what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Can't you take me to dinner first?"
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kcalsforhim · 3 days ago
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˖⋆࿐໋ thursday 26th of december
⋆˙⟡
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today i woke up erm at like 12 pm idk… i slept kinda wonky ? i weighed myself again and saw i gained even more.. how embarrassing… sighs.. its fine, it’s better to face yourself then to hide right ?
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breakfast :
2 pieces of bread, coated with egg and greek yogurt batter and put in the oven. low-fat cream cheese and 0 added sugar strawberry jam
this was good ! it was the only 2 pieces left, i just cut them down the middle to make them more pleasant to eat. no oil was added since they were made in the oven, my mom made it ! it was pretty tasty T_T
then i got upstairs and applied make up to go to work, i haven’t done a full face in days if not more than a week, so seeing myself in my female face was kind of weird but its always nice to feel pretty
after getting ready i went on the treadmill and i walked for 20 mins and then left to go to work.
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lunch :
1 zero sugar strawberry dreams monster, this small chocolate, and 1 red bull zero sugar
i got the monster, red bull and chocolate gifted to me by my friend, i didn’t ask for the chocolate but i was feeling fatigued so i let myself have it. work was good all the way untill the last hour, then it went to shit and i got really stressed
after work i walked home, and felt frustrated cause i was nowhere near my step goal. get home, storm upstairs and go on the treadmill, literally refreshing my health app every 2 seconds.. my dad got mad cause i was being noisy, get more mad, go outside and smoke and force my mom out with me and we go on a big walk.. kinda calmed down
after our walk feeling sick cause i smoked so much lel, she asks me if i want to watch the first episode of squid game season 2 with her, says sure. she gets snacks for herself, says there’s pudding in the fridge. i said no thank you… but i did want something
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snack 1 :
3/4 of a cucumber, with a small side of crème fraise
this was good ! i cut them into little triangles with shaky hands.. i felt so skinny snacking on cucumbers buuut i also felt guilty because this food totally wasn’t necessary..
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snack 2 :
3 dates (20c per date, i looked it up !)
these were good, i never had them just on their own, apparently these were those really expensive kind you can buy… you take it, rip it in half and take out the seed, then you take out the hard bit at the top, and then you can eat it ! its naturally very sweet… nghhhsgehh im not sure, i feel like i ate too much today, but i really didn’t have any kind of.. meal or something
shockingly, again, like yesterday, i really didn’t feeeeel like eating. when my mom texted me at 9:30 saying she’d make me something for dinner i got mad and i was like i don’t want to eat, but i lied and said i already had something…
i really hope i lose weight soon.. is this too much food for a day ? im kind of scared LMAO but idk what im scared of cause i’ve had genuine huge binge fests before.. aha ?
cals : 2 days binge free !
steps : 13.4 k
cool song that makes me think of my oc’s… very like, cool guy music LOL
⋆˙⟡
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sahrii · 2 days ago
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hey sahri im so proud of you congratulations on 100!💘
can i please do a round bouquet of 9 flowers and can they be iris’
that’s all thank you! (again congrats pookie)
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coincidence is a funny thing !
daichi sawamura x gn!reader
warnings! second chance trope, exbf!daichi, post timeskip!daichi, blind dates, i tried to make it as fluff like as possible and idk if it worked.
word count! 939 words.
here is the event, feel free to request
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you were nervous to say the least—it’s been a while since you’ve been on a date, hell, a blind date at that, because you’ve not dated anyone since breaking up with daichi.
and it’s been roughly about 152 days. 152 days since you’ve last seen the love of your life, 152 days since you’ve last spoken to him, 152 days since you’ve last heard of him. 152 days since he left and took a big chunk of your heart with him. the thought is of that in itself tugged at your heart a little because you felt incomplete without him.
you let out a sigh to calm your nerves down. your head hung down slightly, looking directly at the fiddling fingers in your lap.
“Uh, hey. sorry i’m late,” you heard a familiar voice, an awfully familiar voice mutter. you could feel your heart stop, and maybe your insides inverted a little. you snapped your head to look at him. the guy who’s seated in front of you. your ex boyfriend.
his eyes were open and wide—you could see shock and confusion painting a thin layer over his irises. and you were equal parts of shocked and confused, maybe even more. “d—daichi?”
his name rolling out of your tongue made you feel something, though you couldn’t really tell what that something was. it left a sweet yet wistful taste in your mouth, you almost said his name again just to get a feel of it one more time.
he blinked. once, then twice. you could see how tense he was, and you really resisted the urge not to get up, walk around the table and place your hands on his shoulders like you always used to do. but that stopped 152 days ago, so you really couldn’t.
“i—uh, i didn’t know you were the blind date in question,” he sheepishly mumbled, eyes roaming on everything but yours. your stomach churned a little.
you little out an awkward, dry chuckle. “y—yeah, me neither, haha, coincidence is funny,” and he returned an awkward smile while agreeing.
“so—how—how have you been?” his mouth spoke but his heart spoke in another language. one that you could only decipher. it said, i missed you. your heart responded by skipping a beat. i missed you too.
“yeah—i’ve been living, i guess,” you shrugged. “and you?”
“same, nothing really new. i—uh—i’m on placement now, y’know. patrolling and stuff,” he chuckled, scratching the back of his hair as the corners of his eyes crinkled. your heart swelled with pride and a small smile made its way to your lips.
“i’m glad it’s working out for you,”
“yeah, thank you”
it was then silent. the occasional clatter of plates from other people around you both went unnoticed. it all faded into nothing. it felt like it was you and him and your beating hearts. and it continued being silent for a while.
“I—uh. can we leave?” he asked and you looked up to meet his eyes and nodded.
“you took the words right out of my mouth,”
𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩
you don’t know why the both of you end up in quiet places, but for some reason, you always do.
the sun was slowly painting it’s goodbyes across the sky with vibrant oranges and heart warming pinks. daichi walked slightly ahead of you, his footsteps seemingly calm and calculated and his hands contrastingly clenching and unclenching into frustrated fists.
all of a sudden, his footsteps halted without giving you enough time to stop as well. the after math was a collision of your nose with his toned back.
“oh shit i’m so—“ your hands flew up to your nose, slightly rubbing it to shoo the pain away and you were cut off by him.
“i’m—i—i still like you!” he yelled, taking you aback. “i feel so stupid for letting you go and—i don’t even know where i’m getting at but like, i still like you—i always knew i liked you, even after breaking up, but seeing you again. see you again made me feel more strongly and—“ he stopped to breathe and turned to face you.
“i understand if you don’t feel the same way anymore, this is selfish of me to say but i had to get it off my chest,” he looked you in the eyes. he really looked you in the eyes for the first time this evening. “you don’t have to respo—“
“i still like you,” you beat him to it. he blinked at you. one time. two times. it was as if he didn’t process what you just said, his mouth slightly parted and eyebrows shot up.
“you—you do…?” he questioned, disbelief intertwined with his voice. what he doesn’t know is the days you drifted off to sleep thinking about him. or the amounts of text messages sent to suga and asahi asking about him, if he ate well, if he slept well.
“yeah, i never stopped really,” a soft smile tugged on your lips, an attempt to hide the fact that you felt like burning stars were being born inside you.
the disbelief vanished into a similar smile to the one on your lips. “i really—i don’t know what to say,” he admitted.
“me neither, but do we really have to say anything?”
he chuckled, and your heart melted into your stomach. “no—we don’t”
𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩
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ir-abelas-vhenan · 3 days ago
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quick question (maybe? Hopefully?) for anyone who has played Veilguard more than me or has a better memory than I do. Did I miss something with Davrin's backstory as it pertains to why he only does casual relationships?
I keep seeing a sort of vibe assigned to Davrin that to me is characterized as (oversimplifying here) "oh he only does hookups and Rook shows him that it's okay to not feel like you're mere breaths away from death all the time, and that's the root of his holdups" and while yes that's a vibe he carries I don't necessarily think that was an irrational or unfair perspective to carry in light of who he is and what he does? The idea of being like "silly Davrin, of course you can have a future with love!" that I felt while playing through his romance keeps throwing me. Because the whole point of the Grey Wardens is "your life is no longer entirely your own, you exist for Something Greater." Antoine and Evka are the only concrete example I feel like we get of this idea being challenged without your playable character being involved (disclaimer: I have started but not finished DLC for Origins and I vaguely remember there perhaps being additional examples in Awakening), and we don't get that until Veilguard. You can of course romance Alistair as a HoF, but that's still another example of "we're in the cause together so we both understand what we may or may not have tomorrow," while romancing Blackwall in Inquisition is almost kind of like a "thank God, no Calling to worry about here" situation. At the very least, the impression I've gotten is that it's very much the exception and not the rule for Wardens to find True Love.
I could once again be remembering incorrectly, but in my playthrough when I romanced Davrin, I felt weird being so calm and casual while he sits there panicking because he didn't die at Weisshaupt because like. Yeah, it makes sense in a world where most of the time, a warden has to die alongside an archdemon. And it would make sense to me to panic a little bit if you stab an archdemon and remain breathing by the end sans an old god baby to show for it, because surely something Cursed Has Gone Down. And maybe that means something is wrong with you, that you are somehow partially responsible for how bad things are about to get. That you played by the rules and did everything right and still weren't enough.
Idk. I think the TLDR of it is that there's a difference to me between Davrin as someone with commitment issues just because he fears death and its impact on a relationship as opposed to Davrin as someone who understands the gravity and limitations that come from the status quo of the occupation he's chosen and understands that probably 90% of the time falling in love would only hurt your ability to perform. And it's not just confronting a relationship preference that has him so stressed out, it's a system he's built his entire adult life around.
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thetorturedlovergirl · 1 month ago
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when Nandor says “I became his landlord” it just scratches something right in my brain
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kinokoshoujoart · 9 months ago
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oops all rock (springtime edition)
i’ll be able to draw digitally again soon! ;w; in the meantime i’ve been scribbling a lot on paper…
could not wait for Soon, so i resorted to coloring it using the markup tool in default iphone photos app (don’t do that ever again)
#my art#sos awl#debating whether to just dump my sketches from my soujourn to hell or save them to be transferred and finished as digital stuff#or like both idk. i don’t know how ppl feel about WIPs#i’m happy to post art again ;w; thank you everyone who welcomed me back i’m slowly getting through everything i missed while i was y’know#and thank you for the sweet messages while i was gone i am bbghkjh i need to calm myself and respond !!!! love#rock tumbling (sos)#story of seasons a wonderful life#bokumono#story of seasons#harvest moon#hm awl#harvest moon a wonderful life#bunny sighting 😳 i still have THOSE wips too#there’s certain things i wanna prioritize once i can use my tablet again and those are one of them#but i will also probably post new stuff alongside finishing old unfinished stuff….. i hope that is OK……#idk i’ll have to talk more later! right now i am nervous!!! i love you all!!!!#fanart#awl rock#bokujou monogatari#hm anwl#unfortunately this scum neet still has my entire heart so. most of the notebook is just him pulling goofy faces… sorry……..#also a lot of lumina and nami…. and molly…. they r really cool…#ceci is also cool and i’ve drawn a collage of her that i just. never posted#mostly drawing HMDS related stuff about the descendant characters#OK I’LL STOP TAGBLOGGING#i am once again back in DS for girl hell. i want to make a series of posts about differences in the English vs the Japanese version#and also fun secret things related to DS#this is all in the future i gotta finish all my unfinished stuff…. uuuu….#i love you all mmmmmwah (i cast sleepy time blanket and sleep forever)
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rapidhighway · 12 days ago
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avoidance is my fucking doom man, i know i should go to class but i fucking cant get myself to
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starbuck · 1 month ago
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me: hey, so i feel like you maybe disregarded my saying that caretaking on top of work and school and pre-planned travel is a lot for me right now and i’m not comfortable with all of that pressure being on me alone when i wanna make sure you guys have everything you need when i’m not around…
my family: of COURSE we heard you, that’s why we started doing a bunch of things by ourselves at great cost to our physical well-being instead of asking you for help!!!!!!
me:
#my number one emotion right now is wanting to move across the country out of spite as soon as my mom is fully mobile again#i am sooooooooo done#i had recommended looking into options for home care and my mom supposedly did#but then today she was like ‘idk… there’s just nothing that isn’t medical… there’s no options’#so i googled ‘caretaker help [name of our city]’ and found dozens of people IMMEDIATELY#sent her several links#idk i’m just really pissed off#all i’m suggesting that they do is make a plan in case something like this happens again#and they seem FLABBERGASTED#my mom-mom literally said to me multiple times ‘people don’t usually plan for bad things happening to them’#and it’s like. dude. your daughter is literally lying there in a cast right now bc she fell down the goddamn stairs#the bad thing DID happen!!!!!!!#so now that you’re THINKING ABOUT IT maybe make a plan for next time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and i was VERY nice about it#no bad words… no insults… measured and calm tone…#but they were treating me like i was being crazy and unreasonable and i just don’t GET it…#i know it can be hard to ask for help but this is honestly delusional#my mom hasn’t taken a vacation in over three years because she’s NEVER looked into home care before#and neither she nor my mom-mom are happy about that… they’re always venting to me about it#my mom about how she wants to get out more and my mom-mom about how she feels like a burden#and it’s like. my dudes…#just hire someone!!!!!#like. three hours a day tops… just to check in!!!!!#it wouldn’t be that hard!!!!!!!#am i nuts?????? someone reality check me please#i need something firm to grasp onto
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scn-thedog · 27 days ago
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i'm literally passing down now like forr eal i'm sos sleep y but . let me tell you. i think about this specific vibe of tvtwist so often. they're not at each other's throats but they're like .. still suepr toxic just casually. like tv goes to whine about lock being gone because he is working to twisty (she has no friends totalk to) and he's like "if you don't shut up i might actually kill you" .like i actually think so much about them just hanging out AND IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO CANON THEY NEVER HANG OUT. if they actually did twisty would lose all interest for tv (she is such a massive loser it'll give them second hand embarassment) like oj my god she makes him look like less of a weirdo freak. thats it
#//;imaginin them talking and twisty islike “you suck so much you know that right”a dntv does NOT care#//;her “beloved” starbucks barista#//;she uses them for venting only and is unhinged them them#//;he tries to start a normal conversation and cringes at how bad she sucks at like just talking#//;this is nowhere near to canon tv would never willingly go near twisty OK SHUT UPWHAT IF THEY WERE FORCED TO BE NEAR EACH OTHER#//;like uhmm idk in a family meeting#//;wait how do you think her parents would react to him .WAIT IM HER CREATOR I KNOW HOW THEY WOOULD REACT#//;BYTE would hate him and TERA would also hate him . TERA would hate him more though because he is weird ab her#//;BYTE would probably dislike him for that but like not hate him but i think he would not stand him#//;goddd it'd be so awkward. like tv brings lock for dnner or something and twisty tags along (he doesn't trust tv) or smth idkk and like#//;TERA stares at him with pure hatred in her eyes for the entire dinner (she would love lock though)#//;the twisty hate runs in the family (RECORD would also hate them)#//;actually it's just because they're all similar but shh#//;UM BUT BACK AT THEM BEING FORCED TO BE CIVIL or like working together#//;inevemring let me talk about TWISTY!!!! i think if he got like ahug from tv that would really mess with him in a bad horrible way#//;like she hugs him to say goodbye or smth and he's just like FUMING and shaking and barely keeping calm#//;in the contrary twisty hugging or like . being affectionate.with tv would make her hate him less by a billion onillion#//;well she wouldn't stop hating him but she would be a onillion percent more likely to mess with him ( she craves feeling something)#//;she'd stiñll hate him but in a endearing way. a “what is wrong with you <3” way instead of a “i need you to never talk to me again” way
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nachobsns · 13 days ago
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honestly really need to curb my phone addiction and i’ve been looking into dumbphones lately as an alternative for when i’m out and about and like. say what you will about brand consumerism but i am a simple man and the barbie phone is calling to me
#NGL i liked the barbie movie i didn’t think it was anything exceptional but it was good#i probably wouldn’t get a whole phone themed around it but it was like the only dumbphone i could find that came in a cute color#and worked with us networks so. idk why not#i have like hundreds of dollars sitting in my account unused from a summer job but the little gollum in the back of my brain#is like that’s My money. that belongs to Me. and it hurts to spend even when i have no actual plans for it#so ditching my phone to stop feeling like i’m wasting my adolescence is as good a use as any#in a perfect world i would just stop taking my phone to school but i need music to calm my social anxiety on the walk#and i’m not playing games with the american public school system re: having a way to contact people in an emergency#i would feel kinda stupid buying it around now because i already gave my parents my wishlist and i don’t wanna seem ungrateful#but if i do end up buying it maybe i’ll do a review on here at some point. it looks really cute and there’s so many things i want to do#that having my phone as a distraction all the time makes difficult. read more learn to skateboard and crochet keep up with my spanish#start on hebrew and maybe arabic. pick up viola again. hang out with my friends finally get a permit and a part time job study for the sat#stop procrastinating my homework all the time!!!#like hate to say it but my mom was right sometimes it really is That Damn Phone™️#i don’t want to look back when i’m like thirty and go “wow i really threw away my high school years” yanno
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infizero · 1 year ago
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ok after listening to the english version of the death note musical....... unpopular opinion i think but i actually prefer the japanese version? dont get me wrong, with some of the songs i do think i might like the eng version more but..... idk i like the lyrics of the japanese version a lot more? and obviously i only know them via a translation but i know for a fact that the entire focus of certain songs are different between versions.
like in the english version of the game begins, L is talking about his strategy to track down kira. but in the japanese version, he's more so talking TO kira directly and saying that he's going to take him down from his "god" status to hell. or mortals and fools, which had a wholeee different vibe in the japanese version being called like a cruel dream. and uhhhh am i insane or was rem's song before she dies an entirely different song? cause in english it was like a sort of generic love song that was pretty chill considering the context, while in the japanese version it was this superrr melancholic and striking ballad she sang while floating around misa.
idk but i really do think i prefer the japanese version. but the og english version is good too!!! i really liked hurricane and the way it ends in particular
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rubiesintherough · 5 months ago
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#(( ooc. ))#.... so#if youre wondering why ive been so absent lately. ots bc im dealing with stuff like that. on top of handling everytuing around the house#and additional super stressful family drama#health scares caused by stress#the works. i feel like im a constant state of mindfuckery and i have been since we moved#thoght things would improve after getting away from MIL but apparently not#ive been so exhausted and stressed and pain has bee. spiking so bad#im really trying to be here bc writing has always been a calming thing for me like a fun distracting hobby#to get my mind off irl things but everytime i open up a reply i start crying#bc the words arent there and im too tired to even tupe bc im running myself ragged#and on top of that im dealing with hubby and whatever the f is up with him and the weird#180s he does where 1 second hes the sweetest most attentive guy ive ever known and the 2nd#im crying and apologizing for doing sometjing weong and i dont even inderstand what i did but hes upset at me#and somethings suddenly my fault#or im begging him for help around the apartment or smth#idk. i am really trying to be here i swear i am. i miss you all. i miss the stories we're writing together#i miss by bbys and wanna weite with them bc theyve been loud and active but i iust cant type what i want to#a single paragraph is taking me hours to get out no joke#idk. sprry for dumping all this on the dash out of nowhere im just kinda flailing right now and offkilter#gonna head off to bed and see if an actual good nights sleep for the first time in a week helps with my brain and makes things make sense#hope you all have a goodnight. sorry again for this#negative tw#negativity tw#venting tw#personal tw
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itsalwaysdark · 2 months ago
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little man is so cute hes been coming to me for help sounding out words and i taught him a 'trick' so he doesnt forget them on his way back. the trick is just 'repeat the letters while youre walking back so you dont forget' but hes treating me like im the smartest person on the planet for coming up with this
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microwave-prince · 4 months ago
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I'm so overstimulated right now that I just feel angry and pissed off at everything and nowhere is quiet enough for me to just chill out and relax. I'm losing my marbles right now yall.
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girlivealwaysbean · 5 months ago
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okay ventpost time im bored and my period is late
#my mother is leaving AGAIN#to stay with my father#bhai mujhe nahi rehna akele i don't want to parent my brother#i don't want to cook or stress about what to eat and clothes and laundry and literally buying vegetables every few days#well all these things are just surface level but i REALLYYYYY do not want to live alone with my thoughts#i want to study i can't just study on my phone with no adult mere sarr pe khade hoke asking ki itna tv#kyu dekh rahi hai kya hua class kyu nahi attend kari#kar liya try bhai call me immature and childish and pathetic and dependent and undisciplined whatever but mere bas ki baat nahi hai#also ooooh listen to my moms great solution: she'll stay there and dad will come!! to live with us two!! alone!! haha.#it's sk fucking sad and repetitively traumatizing ki i don't even know how to react#my sister is the only kid both my parents like when she stays home things are mostly calm and happy#they dote on her they tolerate us#and they should i love her too but now i feel like crying because i don't want her to stay back just for me??? my stupid mental health??#she's doing enough by staying here till rakhi just because i asked her begged her to not leave me alone mami ke side#she could've fucked off and gone to live her life 10 days ago#it's not fair#the person i love and want to live with.. if she stays she's miserable and her being miserable mskes me miserable#i just. i miss her so much. she already feels so distant and busy and then she'll go abroad and totally forget about me right#who doesn't need all this constant depression holding you back weighing you down when you're living your best life#i hate that there's no solution i just have to grow up and be okay with it#i already got more time with her than i thought she stayed home like 2 years extra cause of covid#3 actually#ab why am i crying it was a good day#also i don't want to make it all about me but like. idk when i was picturing my adult life i was thinking like#night clubs and gay bars and beaches at night#i never factored in real factors like the horrifying fucking country we live in 💀💀#it's just it was the only thing that kept me going the promise of a better future#but now what.#and like#it's feels so stupid now the fact that i sometimes want to like
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magicstormfrostfire · 1 year ago
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