#it just. exhausts me
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had a character development moment today where I realized maybe I simply do not have a healthy relationship to classical music anymore
#i always felt terrible about 'losing interest' but it never felt right to say that#partially as a music student but partially because i *love* classical music I always have and I still do#so perhaps it's not that i've lost interest#for lack of a better term i just can't be normal about it anymore#it just. exhausts me#like i wish i could just turn the analysis brain off even for a moment#and just enjoy it#but it's ironic because the analysis brain is a result of the fact that i love it so much#idk. i just want to be able to listen without it feeling like it has to be a source of self-improvement.#without it feeling like an educational endeavor every single time#i love learning about it but if you turn every single interaction you have with a thing into a learning interaction#it does kind of eat away at the fun you have with it if you're not careful#because at a certain point you stop thinking about what you enjoy about it and what you love about it#in favor of what you can glean from it#and like. if you just think about that out of context. that's not a healthy form of love#idk. ironically enough maybe i need to not immediately jump to the score videos#i think i need to just listen to things again#like I don't actually Need to know how they work immediately. that information is going to be there regardless#i can just. try to listen again#idk. very specific problem to have#the things you go through when you spend your life so intensely steeped in one art form#i would be more normal about it if i was less intimate with it in a way. it's a double edged sword#because at least i know it's this thing i carry with me so deeply and so permanently#this thing that has ingrained itself into my very being and the way i think#it's as dangerous as it is wonderful#i just wish i could wield it better#anyway.#composerposting#mine
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9 / 266
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#fanart#jjk fanart#itafushi#jujutsu kaisen fanart#used th itfs tag bc its implied and this is an itfs piece i said so#i dont think ive seen this parallel made yet??? but its ok if it has#i just had the idea hit at gross o clock last night when i ws alr exhausted n had 2 force myself to sleep instead of drawing it#i just . clutches chest . YUUJI#th char development the emotional maturity..#the willingness to put aside his gojo voice personal feelings in favour of giving megumi agency over his own life#rather than burden him with expectations the way every1 has done fr both of them over the course of the series...#tears in my eyes thats my mc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#anyway art notes i think lower one is some of the best yuuji hair ive drawn 2 date#it's kind of similar to one of my 265 redraws but i think i struck a better balance in how thoroughly i rendered it here#proud of my me but also SO grateful tht yuuji has not been fighting me lately#so much yuuji content these past chapters i cant imagine th frustration having to Also fight him in order 2 create content fr them#anyway itafushi kaisen is real and canon and alive and yuuji singlehandedly discovered th cure 2 my mental illness w this line
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who wants to lay on top of me like a weighted blanket and fix me
#i can't use actual weighted blankets bc it feels suffocating but another person? 10/10#not even in any kind of way i just need someone to crush my body back into some sort of shape that is not exhausted and aching#need me a bear hug and a bear to crush me tbh#the cabin will fix me. i will be secluded and alone and get high one of the nights and have smores. i will take stupid nature walks and read
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this is the Gaza Family Funds Directory, a spreadsheet of palestinian families' gofundmes, sorted by the amount of support they've received thus far. please choose as many as you can from this list to donate to, even just a dollar.
in addition, the sheet also contains a link to a gdrive folder with designs for flyers/stickers that you can print out and place in your community. if you truly can't spare anything directly now, please consider doing this so you can get these links in front of people who can donate!
it also remains urgent to keep the people of palestine connected in the face of communication blackouts; please contribute esims! it is very easy to do and is fully explained on this page: https://gazaesims.com/
if you cannot afford the price of an esim individually, there's a campaign currently running on twitter to which you can contribute whatever you can afford ($1, $3, whatever) to a larger pool which will then be used to buy esims collectively. there's also the crips for esims for gaza fundraiser, which operates similarly. there are probably more than this! i chose these two for this post bc they are currently active + both have easily vettable proof of donation (screencaps in the qrts of the twitter campaign, financial accountability document in the crips for esims campaign.)
finally, look into local grassroots organizations in your area so you can stay in the loop on protest activity. many such orgs have accounts on instagram. if you are in the us, looking for local chapters of the PSL, the palestinian youth movement, or national students for justice in palestine can be a good start.
please, please, please: pick something here and do it. i know it can feel overwhelming and there may be an urge to tell yourself that you'll reblog this now and get around to it later. instead please choose one thing. even if it's just finding orgs in your area and following them so you'll be notified the next time there's a protest. even if it's just downloading the flyer designs and looking up a print shop where you can run off a stack of copies. make a decision to do something tangible right now, even if it's just a first step.
#this is not an exhaustive list of fundraisers or avenues of action at all. it's just what's in front of me right now#let seeing stuff like this be a jumping off point for looking more in-depth and finding stuff in your own area too#at the end of the day everything helps -- including just boosting things -- but to get anywhere we all need to individually engage#free palestine
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Heh...Literally nothing personal, kid.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#sect leader yao#This episode has a lot of scenes I know people are excited for and starting here seems odd but here me out:#The sheer hilarity of this opening scene was too good to not give a highlight to.#Dare I say it? I think this is THE most underrated scene in the whole series.#You have one guy flashing WWX his prosthetic leg. Another complains about his dead parents.#And the third guy? He has no personal grievances at all. He's just here to be included.#You cannot get better comedic timing than that. Sect leader Yao you will always be famous to me.#There is also something to be said about how this scene is about shifting blame and holding a false trial.#And we also have the main theme about rumours vs truth in how Sect leader Yao is only here based on what he's been told to beleive.#And WWX is so exhausted by the blame! He was one breath away from saying 'form a queue and I'll take your complaints one by one'#WWX (overall) didn't do those things directly but he's the one the responsibility falls on.#Despite the fact that the first siege was *not* incited by him. It's like hitting someone and getting mad your fist got hurt.#What a brilliantly frustrating scene!#Anyways next up are the long awaited pheonix mountain flashabck scenes. We finally made it.#and AHH Season 3!!! The last stretch! Thank you all for rooting me on up until this point!
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This might seem like an "old man yells at cloud" situation, but it's just wild growing up and being told how dangerous distracted driving is - how, at highway speeds, you can traverse the length of a football field (100 yards, 91 meters) in a matter of seconds - how one split second sending a text while driving could result in a potential fatal crash, and then getting on the road as a driver and being surrounded by billboards. Their entire purpose is to catch one's attention, so they're lining major roads, which tend to be highways. How is it that you're told how important it is to never be distracted while driving, but still being advertised to?
At best, this type of advertising is an eyesore to pedestrians and motorists and a general waste of electricity to light it, and at worst, it is an active danger considering they are there to advertise and therefore, must catch people's attention.
I'm not even against advertising in theory, but this particular mode bothers me so much and I hate how pervasive it is - especially in large cities or highways.
#politics#i don't know much about são paulo banning marketing billboards but on paper i want that here in the USA#as a motorist it at best just makes me more anxious driving in those larger cities because i want to FOCUS ON THE ROAD#and passing 5000 billboards per mile isn't helping actually!#i've gotten good at filtering that out of my FOV but it's still fucking exhausting lol#i especially hate those modern electric billboards. despise them actually#i am aware that advertising is a critical aspect to business management in some cases...#...but it shouldn't risk the safety of the populous for you to advertise to them and i see things like billboards as risking safety...#...i feel similarly about online advertising in that so much of it risks internet user's safety...#...such as flashing ads online which risk triggering epileptic seizures in light/photo-sensitive folks#distracted driving (texting): NO >:( || distracted driving (being advertised to): YAYYYY :D#i've been driving on my own for a few years now and i've been thinking about this for ENTIRELY too long
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A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)
Part 43 (Masterlist)
(Part 44)
Me, to myself: I just think the series was better when I posted several times a week because the pacing felt more natural, and it translates better when people binge it.
Also Me, holding two jobs and a bat: If you try to post once a day again, I will disconnect your head from your shoulders—
@bruciemilf guess who’s back
Anyways, folks! :D So I'm thinking of a new upload schedule where I spend a bit preparing the next ten or so parts then post it all in two weeks? I think that would be fun (and much better for my creative process.)
I’ll be posting the next part very soon :) But it's going to be drastically different from what I've done before. Let’s see if anyone can guess why.
Yada yada don’t die LOVE Y’ALL
#also since I posted so much more I felt less guilty putting filler stuff in because you'd get more tomorrow#but NOW that feels like cheating because you waited a whole week (or three months whoopsie) even though when I look back at the older parts#-the filler bits were always the best#also the lore is just exhausting sometimes#I'm not writing the MCU here I need to calm down#I'm literally rereading my own series five times trying to think of more cute filler because that's CLEARLY what I'm missing#and pictures of him#I'm running out of pictures of Robert Pattinson it's finally happening#pray for me#a wild battinson#battinson#bruce wayne#batman#the batman 2022#batman 2022#the batman#dc universe#dc#battinson needs a hug#gotham#soft bruce wayne#gotham city#only in gotham#gothamite#social media au#social media
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wife
#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate#my art#kuroshitsuji#kuroshitsuji fanart#black butler#black butler fanart#grelle sutcliff#grell sutcliff#anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush???#it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes#oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful#back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again#i haven't in a while#if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there#and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr#and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute#enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece
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tos jim kirk is very funny to me because he is so bad with children. you'd think he'd be good with them, but he isn't. i think he probably likes them well enough, he just. doesn't know how to talk to them. not one bit. has no idea how to interact. kids can tell he's trying, but he's bad enough at it that they don't really like him more for it. type of guy who you'd hand a baby to, and he'd hold it out in front of him with stiff arms. like, um. what do i do with this. he could be coached on proper holding technique, but he'd still look visibly uncomfortable the whole time.
tos spock is Not Much Better. i think that he feels more clueless around kids than kirk does, but kids also like him more. he doesn't have it in him to be mean to a child ever, so all the awkward kids adore him, and he spends the whole time with them sending desperate looks to other crew members, being like, 'help, i am ill equipped for childcare' and everyone around him is like, 'nooo, you're doing great!!!' while the child has a blast and he is wishing desperately to be Anywhere Else. however, he does refuse care of babies. somehow, he is even worse with babies than jim is.
bones, though - he's a kid guy. he loves kids and babies. he adores them, they adore him, it's a win win. and he looks over at kirk and spock Struggling and he laughs and laughs and laughs. (the kids, of course, think this is hilarious, and they join in on making fun of kirk and spock, even if they don't really know what they're making fun of them for.)
#in spite of not being much of a kid person myself i *do* enjoy the kid fic genre. but.#giving tos spirk a kid requires a certain amount of suspension of disbelief. my tos spirk are both Fucking Clueless#i've read some very very good aos spirk kid fics tho so maybe aos kirk is better with children. i don't know him well but he seems like it#anyways i'm spock in this scenario. i want nothing to do with babies. kids exhaust and frighten me but inexplicably love me#benjamin sisko: first captain who actually likes (and is good with!!) children. picard? hates 'em. kirk? just can't handle 'em.#tos#james t kirk#jim kirk#kirk#spock#bones mccoy#leonard mccoy#star trek#star trek tos#triumvirate#mcspirk
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arthur is rude to that one sex worker because the guys are fucking around as they oughtn't be and he actively wants the source of their distraction to go away. that is how he operates through the entire game: deliberate, utilitarian intimidation and strategic unpleasantness to achieve a goal. it is an early game commentary on arthur meant to position him as a big dog that barks. it is not a commentary on his views about women which are clarified many times afterward. you guys realize that right
#arthur morgan#rdr2#redmeta#this is one of the most wildly misinterpreted but also most obvious scenes where writers are teaching us how arthur moves through the world#i really don't mean to seem short here#i am just exhausted of reddit mentality low literacy “ARTHUR WOULD SHOOT U IN THE FACE FOR FUN HE HATES WOMEN AND SLUTS” takes#my mistake was imagining a world where your average man online could intellectualize about narrative art#unless it is spoonfed to them on a shotty slug that says I'M STRAIGHT BUT I'D LET [MASC CHARACTER] FUCK ME
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im late to the party..!!!
#alien stage#till#ivan#ivantill#my art#eye strain#long time no upload!!!!!! sorry!!!!! just went througha period of exhaustion after submitting my thesis#anyway ivantills dialogue in the my clematis cover makes me so emo..#also the alnst canon is a little hard for me to follow so sorry if there are some inaccuracies rip#by “late to the party” i was just thinking about how the literal last round comes out in like 4 days or however long LOL
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GOOD OMENS + Aziraphale being relatable to me
#michael sheen#good omens 2#aziraphale#good omens#sicvita:goodomens#sue's things#aziraphale is me at all times#the love of tea and food and theatre#but also the bone deep weariness and exhaustion#the desire for bad things to just GO AWAY#the burdens of everything past present future#aziraphale i love you still#he's my favourite character ever#s02e03#s02e04#s02e02
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alongside someone like you
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fushiita#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk 266#jjk leaks#i feel like i say this after every piece at this point but iam once again. SO TIRED#collapses dead#cries i did it again i ws up all last night finishing the first 1.....tht one took *counts* 8 hours...#got 3 hrs sleep n picked up where i left off on th second one at 8 in the morning#2nd one absolutely ruined me n made the third one feel like a herculean task . even tho its literally just them on a bed#rooms....KITCHENS......beloathed!!!! public enemy no1 kill on sight!!!!!!#hell is real and they make u render different rooms of houses from scratch no perspective tool no clue what ur doing#n they see how long it takes u to completely lose it#clipped yuujis bangs back tho n i thought tht was cute . silver linings#1ST ONE WAS SO FUN ALSO idk if its bc outdoor environments r forgiving or bc i had more energy n was fresh faced n hopeful or what#but it is by far my favourite. once again pulled out nearly every nature brush in my arsenal#third one meh simple safe soft w/e i was just so exhausted after th kitchen tht working on it was such a slog#oh ya i added a bunch of scars 2 yuuji's arms n lobbed off his ring finger sighs the yuuji injury list (tm) grows every minute#also HINA USE YELLOW CHALLENGE CLEAR golden hour in2 sunset my beloved <333 easy warm light + safe homey Peaceful vibes...bless#cries eternally thinking abt them let us have this let THEM have this pls thank u#ok i need to not look at these anymore take them enjoy my contribution 2 the domestic itfs pile
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doomed.. just doomed :(
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing curly#captain curly#mouthwashing anya#my art#they make me so sad#and then so mad#OUGH...#scratches and hisses#also just a sketch#been too exhausted somewhat ;_;
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Haven’t touched my iPad in over a year but scribbled this on the plane.
#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#DAtV#Emmrich volkarin#da manfred#my art#and ayyy yes I landed ok#just been busy out and about#although I’m exhausted af rn and my back and legs are killing me#I’m so damn excited for MCM and veilguard right after ahhhh#need hims#soon soon
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fights from 2021/22 spnblr i think we should rehash just for drama and hater sake:
who is and is not jack’s dad
which member of tfw suffered most
is cas gay or bi
destiel. who was worse to the other
should dean have lived in the finale and moved on with someone else or stuck to killing himself?
is the night we met a bad song? (i only ever saw this take once and i blocked the person i just wanted to have a laugh over this thought)
emma/any other one off kid
fine dean can have romantic relationships with other people but we draw the line at castiel having one
would they ever actually get married
finale we got aka ambiguous destiel vs confirmed no destiel but we get cas back
would dean hate that fucking dog ?
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