#it just doesn't really speak to me idk
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ngl the only part of the barbie movie i enjoyed was weird barbie. if they made a whole movie about kate mckinnon playing the visual representation of my childhood feelings on femininity i probably would have enjoyed it. i always loved my fucked up buzzcut leg missing barbies the most.
#idk i gave them to my sister when i was like...less than 5 so i don't actually rmbr playing by myself ever#i played with her though for some sibling bonding time#and she always FUCKED up that fake hair and i ended up cutting it off#...and hiding it in a box that my mom found which made her worried that i was the female ed gein or somesuch#although she did a good job of NOT projecting that fear onto me and didn't tell me until i came out as trans as a like#hey was that related#...anyway yeah idk its just the only part i could relate to as a trans person#never have really been perceived as a man or a woman by people nor did i really have a male or female childhood so#it just doesn't really speak to me idk#its mostly also just bc its a very simplified view of gender in that movie#like yeah i didn't ever experience strict expectations based on being AFAB because#once i got old enough for that to matter to people i was recognizably a lost cause (PCOS + budding transgenderism)#similarly i have yet to been handed the world on a platter for being a man. maybe one day.#so. yeah. ostracization from femininity without any of the perks of masculinity is all i got#which that character did do a decent job of representing... probably mostly on accident#im attributing that more to kate mckinnons acting than the actual script ngl
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Man of words
#s16 spoilers#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#always sunny#macdennis#analysis#parallels#I didn't exactly know how to name this thread but i had some scattered thoughts on it#dennis is the one mac depends on to define things. he's the man of words. but this situation is very limiting#firstly because mac can't read subtext. and dennis will rarely be open in his words. but he also doesn't know everything.#cant define everything. and by forcing the situation to have dennis speak for both. what actually happens is mac gets silenced#and when mac cant speak. no one besides dennis can ever possibly understand him. and that is very isolating. because den wont be open. cant#but they trust each other. theyre following each other's lead. and they're missing the right words#den defines his own self worth in the relationship by being able to have the right words. mac is the man of action! after all#but if mac learns to speak for himself. if mac doesn't depend on den (chokes). if mac is noticed for his appearance as den becomes insecure#(''what if my shirt falls off?'') what does den have left for mac? but mac will fall for him no matter what.#''make up or not you are the golden god! it's all about what's in here💗''#maybe words arent necessary anymore. dont ask just do. and mac's the man of action... OR IS HE.#mac doesn't really act now does he. they got it backwards. don't they? mac got a lot better with his words in time...#idk lots to think about let me know what u think lolll#threads
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Lucanis Dellamorte why are you so mad with me personally for going to Minrathous instead of Treviso that you refuse to use support moves
I literally sent HALF the team with you. Both of which who are archers only for you to tell me that you couldn't fight off the dragon bc it was... flying around???
Seems like a skill issue to me sorry /j
#I get that he wants me to help his home it's just a bit funny how silly it is#brother you have WINGS#What do you MEAN 😭😭😭#lucanis no longer has time for a romance with you but he does have time for Neve apparently#even though she was also fighting with me in Minrathous#idk if it's a bug or what but I also keep getting those timed conversations markers only for me to go to Lucanis#and have him tell me he doesn't want to talk#like yeah okay buddy whatever you say ig?#stop calling me then if you don't want to speak#I'll be by anyway as I make my rounds but still#don't want to feel like I gotta rush to the back of the lighthouse for nothing (I don't know when timed things disappear)#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age#da#dav#dragon age the veilguard#dragon age spoilers#veilguard spoilers#dav spoilers#also destroyed that Minrathous dragon in like 2 minutes#literally thought I almost soft locked myself from beating it too fast (I am on the easiest difficulty and have mods)#but it was also extra funny for Rook to be like “If only we beat that dragon faster maybe we could have helped Treviso 🥺���#like idk if we could have really beaten it any faster
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Noticing that TV and film will often have a character either have had an abortion in the past that isn't showcased on screen (and just used as part of the character's ~fucked up and twisted backstory~) OR contemplate getting an abortion in the present day but not to through with it. Just once I want to see someone delete that fetus within the events of the plot and not be like. Extremely majorly punished for it and/or be in the wrong
#ramblings of a lunatic#was watching a tv show w the fam recently and it's the 2nd series of a show that was clearly written with only 1 in mind#so in the 2nd season a character gets pregnant (bc ofc) and contemplates getting an abortion#only to do the whole 'omg she thinks she's lost the baby and realizes she wanted to keep it all along!'#which like. fine and valid and happens to ppl irl I'm sure#but like. this season doesn't establish if she wanted kids prior or if she has a stable job (she was struggling career wise-#-last season and the timeskip this season doesn't go into it)#AND has this fucking bizarre scene w/ her boyfriend (whos mostly been irrelevant and occasionally annoying up til now)#where he says it's 'our pregnancy' that she was going to terminate and when she (rightfully) bites back-#-saying 'you mean MY pregnancy?!' he just. storms off and deflects#which would be one thing but we have to wrap up the main plot so she just apologizes to him (for other plot stuff)#and we're never given any indication that his opinion has changed and they're just happily parenting at the end of the season#which just. left a bad taste in my mouth#like I KNOW i know not every bad thing said on screen needs a big blinking arrow that points out that it's Bad and Wrong#but idk how I'm supposed to feel in a series that has painted itself as explicitly feminist up til this point#presents the outcome of a woman dating and bearing a child for a man w seemingly zero respect for her bodily autonomy as happily ever after#w no follow up#like the whole series is centered on a group of sisters and this pregnancy story happened to the youngest one#who's always seen as needing to 'grow up' in season 1. so assuming this is meant to be building off that arc it's so WEIRD still#bc yes being a parent is an opportunity for many ppl to mature emotionally but that's not really something the character-#-reflects on all season. it's more abt her burying her past relationship w a season 1 guy (who was infinitely more interesting than new guy)#-than anything to do with that#AND EVEN IF IT WAS the notion of pregnancy as a punishment/reckoning meant to make her grow up or take responsibility-#-which is secretly a blessing in disguise i. god the show fell apart so hard here for me#and my mom and sister were just cooing over the baby at the end and i didn't speak up bc i didn't want to be a bitch#and in all fairness I'm probably being a tad uncharitable in this post but like. don't piss me OFF man#anyway. normalise abortion storylines that aren't backstory fodder and aren't fakeouts for baby plots. please
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lmao it is undeniably true that I am Depressi Spaghetti but you know. fuck it we continue.
#red said#i am hoping!!!! that this is January Brain speaking#it FEELS as if I've been in an extended depressive episode since like. may or June#but depression is a Filthy Fucking Liar so that may or may not be true#either way it's very tedious. there is no reason for this. i am very loved and cared for. i am doing well. it is just that my brain is soup#SAD AND SELF-LOATHING SOUP#we cannot resist the Soup we can only swim on through#idk it is like. i feel as if i don't exist beyond work i feel like I'm losing myself i feel like I'm very alone#this all FEELS very true even though actually i have many passions i do many things and i am booked to the gills with social engagements#so you know. what's it all about? The Soup. possibly also The Dark.#possibly also also that many people i care about are going through really rough times and I'm kinda. not?#and that's WEIRD both that I'm not and that I've developed like a level of boundaries where people i live going through it#doesn't mean I'm in a constant state of panic.#and slash or. where I'm too depressi spaghetti to have the energy to be there for them#i don't THINK it's that. that's never been a thing for me before really.#but idk i think it's like when i reach the end of my to do list i panic that I've forgotten something vital#i am not panicking and that makes me feel. strange and empty and immobile.#even though in actuality I'm in constant motion like. barely a free moment. but i FEEL static i FEEL inactive#because I'm not in 24/7 crisis mode#and then bc i feel inactive i don't understand why I'm so tired. I'm so tired because I'm ALWAYS DOING THINGS.#but also i do feel kind of. numb. everything is just running past me. except sometimes i feel spasms of grief cause like#I've ended or majorly changed a lot of relationships this past year#but yeah i think the numbness is PROBABLY the January of it all and will PROBABLY lift in March/April#and if it doesn't. well. fuck it. we continue. i am yet young.
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I Feel TFOne Could've Handled This Better...
Hot take but I feel like folks have been really generous with the take that OP was unable to find ~the perfect words~ in the heat of the moment (and thus should be given some grace) when he told D to stand down and "not be like Sentinel"... namely cuz I don't feel that the narrative supports this?
Like-- after all is said and done, OP doesn't reflect on that part of their split. He doesn't have a moment where he seeks validation or voices his regrets over the choice of his words, it's actually cut-and-dry. The narrative (as it stands) supports that OP saw D-16 acting up, so he called him out and stood on business, down to the last scenes where he's basically like "yeah it's a shame but y'all knew I had to do it to 'em."
It didn't have to be much! I'm not saying to absolve Megs, just show OP looking at things from a different perspective/contemplating a bit on that tough choice and the morality of the moment. Some examples of what I wish we had:
B-127 straight up blurting the obvious by later chatting with Orion like, "Wait so you told your best friend that he was acting just as bad as the guy who enslaved us for our entire lives and was torturing him like an hour ago? Oof. Seems kinda harsh." Then have some of OP's regret show on his face.
OP asking Elita-1 after Megs is banished if he did the right thing. Have Elita back his choice up, saying, "You should have seen what he did after you were... gone. It was terrifying. I know it was tough, but you made the right call." OP is grateful for the support, but a conflicted look still flashes across his face before he steels himself to look out towards the horizon... and the future.
Have OP walk past other mechs/former miners who didn't go with the High Guard saying stuff like, "Wish I could've given Sentinel a piece of my mind!" "Yeah, but I'm glad he's gone for good." "Ugh I miss everything." "Oh, it was crazy! Megatron picked him up and then he rrrrriiipped-- oops, hey there, Mr. Optimus... Prime... sir?" And have OP wave hello, looking a bit sick when they leave.
Post-credits scene with Starscream going on and on, asking Megs when they'll be back to teach the upstart Prime a lesson. Megs grabs his face to shut him up. "Patience, Starscream. The Prime thinks I'm no better than Sentinel... but I'll show him. He wants Iacon? He can have it. In the meantime we'll take the rest of the planet! Then I'll come back, crush Prime under my heel, and we'll take Iacon too. Sentinel's reign will barely be a footnote, because I'm about to become Optimus Prime's worst nightmare." The vocal performance would really need to sell this-- like picture Megs saying something like that from a place of anger and hurt, not so much a place of genuine evil or malice.
Basically instead of Orion's assertion being backed up as black and white/good vs bad, I wish we had some different opinions/reactions from the characters sprinkled in there. Like you can't tell me out of allllll the miners who weren't strong enough/willing to go with the High Guard and ended up sticking around that NONE of them were like "eyyo honestly?? Kiiiiinda glad Sentinel is dead. Wish I could have helped, tbh." like come onnnnn...
And you can't even argue that he's not an active threat-- I don't think everyone would see things that way! It's not just about the threat he physically has, but the threat he represents and is very likely to act upon if given the opportunity! He has a proven track record of not only being sneaky and conniving, but also capable of dealing some serious damage/killing people bigger and stronger than him, plus he has the backing of the Quints. All he'd need to do is wriggle his way out of jail and run off to his sponsors, then he'd probably be back to hurt more people! (If the Quints didn't just kill him out of incompetence lmao). There's a lot of "ifs" here, but I think it's a valid argument that not everyone would agree on what is the right or wrong way to handle Sentinel once he was down long enough to, like, do something about him.
I feel the situation needed a bit of nuance. In some way I wish they had kicked the can and had D and Orion bicker while Sentinel escaped, then have D get frustrated enough by the loss of Sentinel to point fingers (and his fusion canon) at Orion, who then falls and becomes OP. (Megs could still show some of thar emotion/remorse right after he does it too.) Not only would this open the door for a sequel, but tbh the Quint might have just killed Sentinel anyways and sought to deal with the miners uprising themselves lol. (Maybe that could have been an after credits scenes too instead of the B-127 bit??)
Would love to see a moment in a sequel where they have a calmer moment after arguing for a bit. Have OP mention how Megs was out of line, that it hurt and even scared him to see him act that way, and Megs can quietly point out "you said I was as bad as Sentinel... is that really how you see me? After everything we went through?"
Then OP can fumble the bag again lmao like "D, I... I'm sorry, that didn't come out right... but you still took things way too far..."
"Why am I not surprised-- your opinion is what matters the most! Maybe that's why you became a Prime, since you're so good at acting like the world revolves around you--!"
*gets interrupted by someone else before another yelling match ensues*
#rambling#transformers one#tf one#tfo#i'll be honest a lot of this stems from how rushed i felt the last like... 3rd of the movie feels#i feel Optimus is so dismissive of Megs!! like basically the whole movie but ESPECIALLY after coming back to life as a Prime???#your best friend is Going Through It. clearing having an Emotional Breakdown.#He drops you. In the moment it mattered most he chose violence... but notice what he says right before that?#Megs says ''I'm done saving you''#Like??? y'all don't wanna delve into that a little more?????#i half expected Optimus to pop up and be like ''excuse me. i wasn't done talking. what Did You Mean By That??''#instead he comes up and IMMEDIATELY has already written off this entire relationship as well.#Megs dropped him. it was a aplit second decision. we see in the movie D leaning into these bad impulses.#Orion is supposed to mature gradually so he's more level-headed by the end. why does that equate to abandoning the friendship??#why does he suddenly wanna drop Megs too? wouldn't this be the time for ''please listen to me'' part 2?#''it doesn't matter who has the matrix. we can make a change for the better! please listen to me'' etc#also minor nitpick but lmao why was OP Talking Like That after becoming Prime?#like he goes from ''haha hey guys hows it goin'' to ''You have used your gifts for Evil and Betrayed the entire planet''#babes what. Cybertron?? we went on a 2 day road trip on foot the fuck you know about Cybertron.#like betrayed Iacon maybe but idk maybe the guys in Tarn would be cool with Megs you dont know! lmao!#if my friend and I had beef and they started talking to me like the queen of england i would literally ask where they got their soapbox.#ohhhh you think you're morally superior? stop speaking for the whole planet lmao!! already named prime and letting it go to his head!!#strange dieties lying in the core of the planet distributing magic baubles that bring you back to life#is no basis for picking a planetary leader#this has been Orion Was Right: The Movie#when i wish there was a bit more.#maybe another 20-30 min would have helped me idk hhhhh#but Megs turn felt sooooo fast... then things just kept escalating from there.#''some transformations are permanent'' sir it's been like 48 hours since y'all learned you lives were a lie.#you *really* don't think Megs could ever cool down and apologize/change his mind?? you too??? tf???
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on the topic of ocs, here's a simple but fun oc question: do your ocs let themselves cry?
#idk i feel like it can say a lot about the character whether or not they are the crying type#reblogs welcome if y'all wanna talk about your ocs in the tags :}#for me#vanessa ran out of tears a long time ago and even in her lowest moments doesn't let herself cry#similar thing with ruathym but he's more bitter about it bc of course he is#zephyr can be a very emotional person but she has the discipline to not get anything beyond misty-eyed#i think viola would cry but only in very stressful situations and not really as a response to sadness#anwen tells you she doesn't cry but she absolutely does and just doesn't let anyone catch her doing it#sabina 100% cries very freely like she was nearly sobbing when they got to ukaizo :(#katheryne also cries but it's never more than a single “manly” tear#maya cries but she's also like 15 so that comes with the territory#marco doesn't cry but by god everyone around him wishes he would instead of the myriad of unhealthy ways he deals with grief/stress#oc: maya#marie speaks#oc: sabina lancaster#oc: anwen hawke#oc: zephyr skybreeze#oc: katheryne cousland#oc: marco ryder#oc: vanessa shepard#oc: ruathym dhalmass#oc: viola
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replaying dav act 1 and the way i instantly prefer the minrathous route is wild sorry antiva 💀💀💀
#enjoying act 1 way more in general. i am RELAXED i am CRINGE i am FREE i already know what HAPPENS#but yeah lol i mean for my canon i'll leave it as is but dsjfhghj the compare and contrast of how i felt#with the viper vaguely writhing on a table versus lucanis being like 'i have no heart for anything but my city' is WILDDDDD#AND THE BLIGHTED CANALS. THE SPECTACLE OF IT#there were some good moments in the treviso arc for sure and i really like the arc with hardened neve. but u know#it does hurt cause i know how it could be. but i live for the drama of it and i'm very glad that i'm not losing access to everyone#(although that phantom cough is in there so we'll see how that develops. at the very least vi and teia are still there bantering)#idk. if i'm being real the crows were probably my biggest disappointment overall in the game lol#(not for the same reasons as everyone else- differences in their portrayal from dao is easily explained for me by the people we're hearing#from being literally the equivalent of royalty. imo there is way less retconning going on then just frankly narrowing of scope.#something not being mentioned doesn't mean it doesn't exist. but there's a lot i wish were mentioned! or landed better! anyways.#i did still like them overall! and i imagine playing a crow adds a little more connection there with teia and vi)#i think i will be way more satisfied with seeing them in more active turmoil#and to spend more time with the shadow dragons.#more tarquin more dorian more mae. that's a w from me#i do worry abt hardened lucanis from vague comments i've seen 😭 but again i live for the drama#it speaks#veilguard spoilers#vir dirthera
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pop stars aren't born in the 70s anymore like they used to be. These days they're born in a year uncomfortably close to my own which makes me clutch my chest and cry out
#music#musicians#Nia Archives was on radio the other day going 'my album's the first jungle album to be nominated for the Mercury Prize in over 25 years#that's such an honour! The last one was Roni Size and I wasn't even born then' --hang on a minute#that album was like. 1997. 'I wasn't even born yet'?#Folks she is a year older than me 😭(❤️ but also personally 😒)#Cat Burns' Mercury shortlisted album is called 'early twenties'. It is a term I am told I can no longer use for myself.#She says 'the album was a 4-year long process. I started writing it when I was 20.' Cat Burns is my age.#CMAT. Dublin's 'global superstar'. 1997. Literally she's such a classic popstar/country star I'd have expected to read like '1987' or somet#not in terms of saying she's old or anything; just that that seems appropriate for someone who's in control of their career#CMAT is like 2 years older than I am. It's so wild to me#especially this time! There have been a lot of debut albums you see#and I'm really proud of all these--I suppose at my age I'm allowed to say--kids; my peers? But it's also so strange to see#My peers are at the Mercuries. Declan McKenna is like a year older than me#That has been in my head ever since Brazil came out. He was 15. I was 14.#sigh it's a long road to either acceptance or such radical change that I 'catch up' with everyone; whatever that means#yes I'm well aware that comparison isn't a thing to do. I know it's not productive.#I try not to let it get me anxious; afterall what do I do about it?#It's not like I've got the ball rolling on anything significant to speak of. I'm just at ordinary work#idk also the industry I work in doesn't exist anymore hahahaaaa so yeah. No career. Only far away admirations! :)#We will have no infrastructure and we will be happy.#Don't read all this; just laugh at the meme about age and move on#growing up
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i know we've said this a million times and more but they really couldn't have picked a more perfect anya than christy altomare. for Several reasons but like. her voice. it's so soft and gentle but so strong and unwavering at the same time. and she has such a wide vocal range. and you can feel every emotion in every note she sings. and that's... idk if anything can encapsulate anya's character better than that
#anastasia broadway#anastasia musical#anastasia#anya#christy altomare#and she sounds great on the obcr but man it just doesn't do her voice justice#especially towards the end of her run when she had been settled into the role for 3 years#y'all gotta hear her live or at least a live recording once#bc there's really nothing like it#idk if i'll ever experience anything like that again#someone who understands music and singing and vocal things more than me can probably speak on this better than myself ahksldjf so#pls i invite y'all to chime in
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i know i've posted abt this before also but i did not have screenshots to demonstrate just HOW gently passive aggressive ingo is to volo when they talk. i have no idea if they intended it this way but he sounds so "sadly my strict standard of conduct will not let me tell you to fuck off for asking weirdly personal questions just so you can share your theories but with the subtext toolkit available to me i am VERY much shooing you out of the way so i can get back to what i was actually trying to do."
#the nemesis speaks#pla analysis#idk if it really comes across without the context of volo's whole ramble#but he really did just sort of rock up to you while you were TRYING to get through this quarry#just to be like ''hi ingo. hey tell me about your memory loss. great now listen to what I think about the whole thing''#though the exchange does also make me feel like they have had prior conversations to this effect#ingo feigns not recognizing him at first but the way he says ''continue to prioritize'' specifically makes me feel like#this is not the first time they've tread this particular ground#volo also greets ingo pretty familiarly at the start of it imo#these tags are getting long but one other thing that sort of strikes me atm and i'm curious to see if it continues#is like. this is the rudest (by his standards) ingo gets with mmmost everyone in pla#-except melli. who he is actually fairly direct with. and melli in turn doesn't rise to it really at all#for a guy who bitches at literally everyone just saying ''well guess we don't always see eye to eye!'' is like. WILDLY notable#and then ingo asks you to say hi to him later#they're friends i think. thanks for ur time
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egodeath: the disappearance of one's sense of self, or the removal of one's ability to distinguish themselves as an entity separate from their social or physical environment.
#shook arts#oc shiz#takoshi (oc)#i told you you wouldn't be able to guess why he was so happy#i feel like i may need to give context for this#bc i've only briefly touched upon takoshi's over reliance on masking as a coping mechanism#as well as how he feels as if he has to conform to the expectations of others even if that means acting like a different person entirely#but also. idk man i think it kinda speaks for itself#now if someone were to *ask* me to go further into it then ofc i would :] but#for now i think i'm just gonna let the art speak for itself#also sorry not sorry about the next few drawings also probably being less goofy and more serious#i've had some cool ideas i wanna see if i can pull off#tbh getting to like. actually draw and not just do character refs constantly has been nice :]#and now that the creative juices are flowing it's so jover. i will never shut up about these two sorry (not)#oh yeah also. ik some of the proportions are kinda fucked up but uh consider#i don't really care enough to fix it#like this isn't something i'm trying to spend 8 hours on lol it doesn't have to be perfect :]
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everybody claims to be a kashiwagi enjoyer but the only time anyone ever talks about him is to say he's the hottest piece of meat in the series
#this goes for a lot of characters but he's the one i pay the most attention to#this probably isn't even remotely profound to most people who follow me but it really feels like a massive proportion of fandom nowadays#only cares about fanwriting if it's within 1500 words and rated E#there are some notable exceptions of course but fuck there just doesn't seem to be any real feedback on anything anymore#unless it comes from people i share small discord servers with and chat to every day#the number of times i've linked my textual analysis pieces to people who say they're fans of the character it's about#only to get brushed off in favour of the next off-model drawing of him with his balls swanging#it's demoralising#i don't want to be the elitist ''nobody likes him the way i do'' jerk but this is a lot of the reason i haven't been as active on tumblr#on top of me (mostly) running out of games to play then going on holiday and coming back to my steam deck's display not working#(it's still in for repairs)#maybe when i get it back i'll liveblog yakuza 4 but i'm starting to wonder if there's a point in using tumblr#when the only people who engage are people i speak to directly on discord anyway#like why not just cut out the middleman at this point yknow?#well. guess i'll get back to my sawamura ikki rabbit hole#expect arai posting when i get my steam deck back#me#text#kashiwagi osamu#idk lol i don't want to put negative fandom commentary into the character tag but i DO want this to be in the tag on my blog itself#i don't think there's a way to do that anymore
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You talk so much about people calling the sf24 a tractor but you do the same with the rb20 exaggerating the issues etc
I didn't call the RB20 a tractor. My issue is I just don't think the farm tool analogies are funny for a car that's won races. You're free to disagree.
And I stand by my critique of the RB20. I end up having to defend the SF-24 more simply because people love to specifically shit on the Ferrari car the moment it isn't perfect.
#also I have barely talked about the RB 20#and like exaggerated??? when did I exaggerate#I just pointed out flaws#not saying the SF-24 is perfect either I just think it's better#they are very close but yeah idk sue me I'm a little biased and the results do ultimately speak for themselves#idk I just find that particular joke to be repetitive and annoying#esp because it just doesn't make sense when people call a race winning car that#like to me that's reserved for actually bad cars#again you're free to disagree but you can't make me find it amusing or like it#also I have only a few posts about this? is that really “so much”#now who's exaggerating#and I really have never understood why people always seem to feel called out simply when I say I don't like those jokes#like you can make them#I jsut don't think you're funny???? come up with something better?????#please I like self deprecating humor but I need something to spice it up a bit#idk maybe I have missed your point entirely#I'm in the middle of watching spn so if it went over my head sorry lucifer is on screen atm and I got distracted#anons#salty anons
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thinking about the person i could have been if i tried a little harder to find my own way
#probably the thing i am resenting my parents for right now is how good they were at convincing me#not to pursue any career paths other than the ones they laid out#every time i was like hey this seems interesting should i check it out? they would be so quick with the#do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it? to do it for your whole working life?#and obviously 8 yo 12 yo 14 yo 17 yo 18 yo me would get terrified and go no sorry and just not look into anything further#supposedly this is the safe option but everything i do feels meaningless#all of the jobs in this field seem meaningless#the job market in this field right now is dog shit and I'm fighting like hell for positions that just make me sad to think about#but every time i think hey what if i tried another thing#now my brain shuts me down with the do you care enough about it to stake your livelihood on it#your whole life on it#and the answer is no and it's gonna be no for a long time i bet#don't know if I'll ever find my way out of it#told my roommate's boyfriend about my general dispassion for pretty much everything in life#he asked me if I'm even a person#which feels very true#i feel like this path I've followed if i keep following it#I'm not going to be a person i can be proud of#i know it's really early in my life to say but#idk if it's nature or nurture or my own damn fault but all the ambition has been weaned out of me and I've been getting just surviving#i just wish i got told more you can be whatever you want to be :)#instead of whatever you'll do you'll be good at so do what makes money and push your hobbies to the side you can do them after you retire#your mom likes this and you're good at it so you'll like it too it'll make you money this is the best thing#the other thing is harder and doesn't make as much money don't do that you won't like it that much i bet#when i was younger#maybe I'd be struggling more but I'd be really happy and fulfilled#or maybe this is genuinely the best timeline and eggs who tried to pursue art hates it now#maybe I'd be really stupid at all the other things i gave a passing glance at#eggsistential speaks#tag rant
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Speedrunning Dune by watching Dune Part 1 for the first time yesterday and then going to see Dune Part 2 in theaters tonight. LMAO
#Shima speaks#The first one was okayyy??#I feel like it was all just setup for the second one#And like. They probably could have cut that movie down by half#Like there was SO much lore. And plot. And a lot of it felt kinda unnecessary#Maybe it's just my shit attention span but there were parts of it where I was sooo bored#Literally the actual action doesn't even start until like. An hour and a half in#Me: FINALLY things are getting interesting#Anyway yeah they could have cut half of that movie and it would be way more. Easy to digest?#Idk idk. A lot of people really love Dune so. I mean I get it. It's just not for me personally#At least not yet anyway#Maybe the second one will be more fun <3
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