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woozinhos · 1 day ago

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hiii! can you write about losinh your virginity to Dino or Mingyu? :0

hey anon I did Mingyu because I think I’ve already wrote a Dino version :D

You and Mingyu had been dating for a few months now, and things were going well.

He was sweet and caring, always making sure you felt loved and appreciated. And you felt the same way about him - you couldn't imagine being with anyone else.

One night, after a particularly romantic date, he suggested taking things to the next level. He wanted to show you just how much he loved you, and he knew you were ready.

After a bit of hesitation, you agreed. You trusted him completely, and you knew that he would be gentle and patient with you.

As you and Mingyu lay together in bed, the weight of what was about to happen settled over you.

You felt a mix of nerves and excitement, but Mingyu sensed your unease.

"We don't have to do this if you're not ready," he said softly, his fingers gently stroking your hair. "I don't want to push you into anything you're not comfortable with."

You looked up at him, seeing the love and concern in his eyes.

"No, I want to do this," you said, taking a deep breath. "I trust you, and I know that you'll take care of me."

Mingyu smiled, his expression softening.

"I promise I will," he said, leaning down to kiss you gently. "I'll make sure you feel safe and loved the entire time."

Mingyu continued to kiss you, his lips moving slowly and gently against yours.

His hands roamed over your body, his touch both gentle and passionate. He took his time, exploring every inch of you and making sure you were completely comfortable.

As he deepened the kiss, his body pressed against yours, his desire for you growing with each passing moment.

You could feel the heat between you, the air growing thick with anticipation.

Mingyu's hands slipped under your shirt, his fingers tracing over your skin. He pulled back slightly, his eyes dark with desire as he looked at you.

"Are you sure you want this?" he asked again, his voice low and husky. "There's no going back after this."

You nodded, your heart racing with a mix of nerves and excitement.

"I'm sure," you whispered, your fingers tangling in his hair. "I want to be with you, completely."

Mingyu smiled, a hint of possessiveness in his eyes.

"Good," he said, his voice filled with relief. "Because I want you just as much."

He kissed you again, this time with more urgency, his hands pulling at your clothes as he began to undress you.

As Mingyu undressed you, you returned the favor, your fingers trembling slightly as you undid the buttons on his shirt.

You'd seen him shirtless before, but this time felt different. There was an intensity to the moment, a sense of anticipation that left you feeling both vulnerable and excited.

When you finally removed his shirt, you ran your hands over his chest, feeling the hard muscles beneath your fingertips. He let out a soft groan, his body responding to your touch.

Mingyu pulled you closer, his hands roaming over your body as he kissed you hungrily.

You could feel his desire for you, his arousal pressing against you through his pants. It was a heady feeling, knowing that you were the one making him feel this way.

He broke the kiss, his lips trailing down your neck and collarbone, leaving a trail of kisses in their wake.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured against your skin, his hands moving to your hips.

As Mingyu continued to kiss and touch you, you felt yourself growing more and more aroused.

Your body was responding to his every touch, your senses overwhelmed by the sensation of his skin against yours.

You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer as he moved lower, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your chest.

Mingyu's mouth moved lower still, his lips and tongue tracing over your stomach and hips.

You let out a soft gasp as he reached the waistband of your pants, his fingers toying with the fabric.

He looked up at you, his eyes dark with desire.

"Can I?" he asked, his voice low and rough.

You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest.

Mingyu slowly pulled your pants down, his eyes never leaving yours. He helped you step out of them, leaving you standing there in only your underwear.

He ran his hands up your legs, his touch sending shivers down your spine.

"You're perfect," he murmured, his gaze roaming over your body. "Absolutely perfect."

Mingyu's hands moved higher, his fingers tracing over the edge of your underwear.

He looked up at you again, his eyes burning with desire.

"Can I have you?" he asked, his voice hoarse with need. "Please, I need you so badly."

You nodded again, your body aching with anticipation.

"Yes," you whispered, the word coming out as a soft moan. "I want you to have me."

Mingyu groaned, his hands gripping your hips tightly.

"Thank god," he said, his voice filled with relief. "I've been wanting this for so long."

He pulled you down onto the bed with him, his body pressing against yours as he claimed your lips in a deep, passionate kiss.

As you lay beneath him, you felt his body moving against yours, his arousal pressing insistently against your thigh.

He broke the kiss, his lips moving to your neck once more as he began to grind against you, seeking friction and release.

"God, you feel so good," he murmured against your skin, his breath hot against your ear. "I can't wait to be inside you."

Mingyu reached over to the bedside table, grabbing a condom from the drawer.

He pulled back slightly, his eyes locked on yours as he tore open the package and rolled the condom onto himself.

"Are you ready?" he asked, his voice low and rough. "I'll go slow, I promise."

You nodded, your body tensing slightly in anticipation.

Mingyu positioned himself between your legs, his hands gently spreading them apart.

He leaned down to kiss you again, his lips soft and reassuring.

"Relax," he whispered against your mouth. "I've got you."

As he kissed you, he began to slowly push inside you, his movements gentle and controlled.

You gasped at the sensation, a mixture of pain and pleasure shooting through your body.

Mingyu paused, giving you a moment to adjust to his size.

"Are you okay?" he asked, his voice strained with the effort of holding back.

You nodded again, taking a deep breath to relax your body.

"Keep going," you whispered, your hands gripping his shoulders tightly.

Mingyu groaned, his eyes closing in pleasure as he slowly continued to push inside you.

"You're so tight," he breathed, his body trembling with the effort of restraint. "You feel incredible."

Once he was fully inside you, he paused again, his forehead pressed against yours as he struggled to control himself.

"You feel so good," he repeated, his voice a low growl. "I don't know how long I'm going to last."

He pulled back slightly, his eyes locking with yours.

"Can I move?" he asked, his voice ragged with need.

You nodded, your body aching for him to move.

"Yes," you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper. "Please, move."

Mingyu groaned again, his control snapping as he began to thrust into you slowly.

He buried his face in your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he began to lose himself in the sensation of being inside you.

His thrusts grew harder and faster, each movement sending waves of pleasure through your body.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, holding him close as he continued to move inside you.

Mingyu's hands roamed over your body, his touch both possessive and tender.

"You're mine," he whispered against your skin, his voice filled with a mix of passion and ownership. "Only mine."

You clung to him, your body arching up to meet his as he drove deeper and deeper inside you.

The sound of his ragged breathing filled the room, mixed with your own soft moans and gasps of pleasure.

Mingyu's lips found yours again, his kisses hungry and desperate as he continued to claim you.

You could feel yourself getting closer and closer to the edge, the pleasure building inside you with each of his thrusts.

Mingyu's movements became more erratic, his control slipping further away as he chased his own release.

"I'm close," he panted, his forehead pressed against yours once again. "God, I'm so close."

You could feel his body tensing, the muscles in his back and arms straining with the effort of holding back.

"Come with me," he whispered, his voice strained. "I want to feel you come undone around me."

You were so close, the pleasure coiling tighter and tighter in the pit of your stomach.

Mingyu shifted his hips slightly, the new angle hitting a spot deep inside you that made you cry out in pleasure.

"That's it," he growled, his thrusts becoming even more intense. "Let go for me."

You clung to him, your body writhing beneath him as you felt yourself teetering on the edge of release.

"Mingyu," you gasped, your voice broken and needy. "I'm... I'm gonna..."

He captured your lips in a fierce kiss, swallowing your words as he drove you over the edge.

You cried out against his mouth, your body shuddering as waves of pleasure washed over you.

Mingyu groaned, his hips stuttering as he felt your body clench around him.

He buried his face in your neck again, his own release following closely behind yours.

He held you tightly as he came, his body trembling with the force of his orgasm.

When it was over, he collapsed on top of you, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

He rolled off of you, pulling you into his arms and holding you close.

"God," he panted, his heart racing in his chest. "That was incredible."

He pressed a kiss to your forehead, his arms tightening around you possessively.

You snuggled closer to him, your body still tingling with the aftershocks of your orgasm.

Mingyu ran his fingers through your hair, his touch gentle and soothing.

"You're amazing," he murmured, his voice filled with awe. "I don't know how I got so lucky to have you."

#kpop fanfic #kpop smut #seventeen fanfic #seventeen smut #seventeen #svt smut #mingyurot #svt mingyu #mingyu smut #kim mingyu smut #seventeen mingyu #kim mingyu #mingyu #svt reactions #svt scenarios

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theartofwoompwoomp · 2 days ago

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Why’d no one tell me he’s hot !? Pt.2

Rumble x human!reader

Summary: you thought the cassettes were supposed to be mini including for you lol

Pt.1 Pt.2

———————————————————————

As you’re both finishing going through the first stack of albums, Soundwaves head lifts up as he straightens his posture.

You can hear some type of beeping start coming from him.

When it stops, he vents a bit as he rubs his face mask where his brows would be underneath.

“Is everything alright?”

He looks down towards you lowering his arm. “Affirmative: no critical problem.” You just stare at him with doubt. He’s voice may be the most robotic type you’ve heard, but after knowing him for a good while you can tell something is up. However you choose to not pry further.

“Alright, Im choosing to trust you.”

You lower your gaze as you look again at the framed picture.

Deciding to change the topic you go back to asking him about the minicons. “So, when exactly are the minis going to get here?”

He looks towards you again then towards a strange looking clock on the wall. “They will be here soon.”

The excitement was evident on your face. He could see you twitch a bit trying to hid your joy.

Also glad to see you so excited he goes to pet your head, but as he does so, he can’t help but see some thoughts that you were thinking.

From what he understood, you clearly haven’t realized the true sizes of his cassettes. And he had no plans on ruining the surprise factor for when you truly found out they were all bigger than you.

Instead he gets up to go back to work on the other side of the room. But before he can even get there Lazerbeak crashes into the room, his body making a screeching noise when he landed on the ground.

“ Lazerbeak “

Seeing soundwave rushing to attend one pf his cassettes, you hurry down a ladder to see if you can help. When you reach them, He picks up Lazerbeak and takes him to his desk where he will further assist his mini.

Curse his long legs, It was moments like these that truly made you despise being smaller than your average cybertonian.

“Oh, I didn’t know we had guest.”

Turning to see the voice behind you, you came to recognize them as Ravage. Still a bit shocked from the change of situation you hurried yourself to respond back. “Um, hello. Sorry about that, I also didn’t really have time to notify my arrival since the arrangement was made really quick.”

They nodded and didn’t say anything else. Simply walking past you over to where his boss dad was. You didn’t really mind their attitude. You were a bit glad the conversation ended since you felt a bit too drained to make the effort as well. Thankfully, it also didn’t take long for Ravage to be noticed.

“Ravage.”

Looking upwards acknowledging their call, “interrogative : where is frenzy and Rumble.” Oh he looked a bit pissed.

You knew from the stories he shared with you that those two always seemed to get themselves in trouble.

“I don’t know where Rumble went after speaking to Megatron, but I saw Frenzy heading towards the east side of the nemesis.”

Soundwave nodded as he processed the acquired information. “Thank you Ravage. You are dismissed. New order: rest.”

And at that he got up and left with Lazerbeak on his shoulder. Most likely on their way to find those troublemakers.

Returning your gaze back to were Ravage was you saw that he was no longer there. In fact, he was already curled up, in what you assume was his berth, recharging from his previous mission.

Seeing the con sleeping, you made the room lights more dim. You could barely see anything, but surely the bots had no problem getting around.

As you were about to head back to your personal quarters, the door is slammed open and whatever it was came blasting in at tremendous speed.

You didn’t even manage to move out of the way, and before you knew it. Whatever it was crashed into you quite hard tumbling the both of you onto the ground.

You groaned a bit as you tried to lift your head, yet they were still on top of you and they were not light. Moving a bit trying to get out from under them, you started to hear them move as well.

Also groaning a bit as they lift themselves up a bit from you. Not fully off, not fully on.

They were practically straddling you.

It was a bit embarrassing, but you guess that was still better than having them completely squish you with their whole weight.

The room may have been a bit dim and your mind might have been spinning, but that didn’t prevent you from seeing their face.

They were cute.

Crap, they started staring at you funny. Then they quickly looked around before their optics widened once more as they look towards you again.

“Huh? You’re not frenzy.”

———————————————————————Masterlist

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sirxlla · 3 days ago

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The Few And Far Between

----------------------------------------------------

Warnings: Brief mentions of the reader being a lab rat. Other than that? Fluff.

Prompt: Damian doesn't let many in so why are you the exception?

Notes: Gender neutral reader, italics are actions/thoughts. i'm a new writer, so i'm trying to do what might be good layout? pls Imk what you think of the story or anything really in the comments, i'd really appreciate it

-With all that said it's under the cut-

Damian was never a forthcoming person and he was never one to wear his heart on his sleeve because he knew if he did it would be used against him. His mother and grandfather along with his childhood had made him build his walls so incredibly high that the idea of anyone scaling them scared him and surprised him at the same time. It secretly excited him but it scared the living shit out of him.

"How could this person come into my life and so easily get through to me in ways that I would never let anyone else see me?" A question he asked himself over and over within the confines of his own mind over the past couple months.

There was something in the sight of you that caused Damian's walls crumbled down like they were but a sheet of cheap printer paper. The nights have been rough for him, they always had, it's just something he never shared. Damian didnt want anyone poking around in his mind and he didnt wanna admit he had PTSD from his childhood and how quickly he had to grow up.

The nights were rough for both you and Damian. About 8 months ago Damian and Bruce had found you in Simon Stagg's lab in a cage like some sort of long term lab rat. Bruce had read the file infront of your cage whilst Damian unlocked the box that held you before swiftly and gently picking you up. So fragile from the way Stagg had been treating you there were clear signs of dehydration and malnourishment. You clung to Damian like a child clings to their favorite teddy bear the moment you he picked you up. In that momemnt something in him just completely shattered but when it came to you, It was his need for pushing people away. After that it was incredibly hard for him to even remotely began to think of putting up walls when it came to you.

The nightmares and memories of the place were horrible. you found yourself climbing into his bed. Your body just craving some sort of comfort and wanting to feel like you weren't alone even if the two of you didn't talk about the terrors that filled your sleep. If it were anyone else crawling into his bed there would have been no way in hell in any sort of way he'd even allow it. If he were even to think to say no to you, his mouth would betray him and the only thing that would have escaped his lips would have been a soft yes.

His nightmares had stopped when he slept next to you, or at least for the most part. Of course no one knew he had nightmares because he kept every bit of 'weakness' locked up tight. Damian never wanted to show any sign of fragility to anyone but tonight was different. The memories that clawed their way into his sleep were bad, an obvious understatement. Now he found himself waking in a start covered in a cold sweat you waking up beside him as he sat up.

Worry filled your eyes as they shone in the dim moonlight that filled the room through the crack of the curtains. He almost jumped as you wrapped your arms around him from behind as if it was your second nature to do so. There was such an kindess and understanding he found in you that allowed him to be vulnerable; This is something he never felt secure enough to do with anyone since he was a very small child. So his shoulders fell, the tension slipping from him like sand. Damian found himself wrapping his arms around yours as tears filled his eyes.

Before he knew it tears were pouring down his face as his body sank into you like a person in a being sucked into a beanbag chair, his body and mind seeking solace in your arms.

Noticing Damian's demeanor shifting and how he clearly needed someone, you slowly pulled him down to the bed and hugged him gently but securely. You knew the chance that he would talk about any of it would be rare but it didnt stop the pang in your chest and the need you felt to take care of him the way he had done for you on nights like this.

Your right hand moved into his soft silky hair before your left rubbed his back. His head rested between your collar bone and neck, the dampness of his tears made his skin stick to yours as he held onto you for dear life.

Damian had never let anyone in like this, not ever. Not even when he was dating Raven and she had a direct line to his memories but even so he kept his walls tall and thick like a castle. But now? Now here he was sobbing into the arms of a person he's known not years or decades but months in his mind it feels wrong but in his heart all they're doing is everything he's ever needed which is gentle comforting and a silent understanding. His eyelids feeling heavy as he sinks back into a deep comforting sleep in your arms, the gentle smell of your shampoo reminding him even as he sleeps that he was in safe arms.

Masterlist

#damian wayne x reader #damian wayne #batboys x reader #batfam #batboys

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look-at-the-soul · 2 days ago

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Hi, Mar!! Following your idea, I'm sending you a question too, to celebrate this anniversary! 🔟❤️

You have the chance to give Tommy one (1) gift. But this gift is from this century, something that not existed back in 1900. What would you like to give him? 🤔

Flor I’ve to start this apologizing for taking forever to reply I’m so sorry!

At first you caught me off guard and I didn’t know what to give him because he already has it all, or he has an easy access to everything (almost) and then time flew but suddenly I had an ide of something that would touch his heart ♥️ Thank you a million times for sending in this ask!

I finally found the perfect gift for Tommy and I turned it into a little story 🎄I got the inspiration from a one shot I did back in the day so this would be like “their present day” “The Photoshoot”

****

It’s not about the gifts under the tree

Y/N stood in a corner next to the fireplace whilst everyone focused on their Christmas presents. They had full house, Ada had her Spotify playlist on, the kids enjoying the moment thrilled about the last adventure of the elf on the shelf and Santa’s presents.

And of course there was the empty chairs, the people who had passed away. And Y/N noticed that ever since Polly wasn’t around anymore it was taking a toll on Tommy, they were one, their bond was so profound, at another level… they understood each other completely.

“I think there was a present missing under the tree.” Y/N whispered presenting her boyfriend a box.

That caught Tommy’s attention, he hadn’t seen that box before, it was wrapped in a delicate deep red fancy paper with reindeers silhouettes as pattern.

“Love you didn’t have to give me anything.” It was strange for him the feeling of getting presents, when he was just a boy his parents didn’t have a lot of money to spend on gifts so he grew up with that feeling that it wasn’t necessary spend money on him, all the contrary because he went above and beyond for everyone.

“I know, but I wanted you to have this, so why don’t you hurry up and open it?” She encouraged softly, eager to see his reaction.

It was a big box with several boxes inside, there was a frown in Tommy’s forehead. Y/N bit her lower lip in an attempt to conceal her excitement.

As he ripped the white and gold paper, Tommy found a portrait that when he turned it around, he found a photograph in color of his beloved mother.

Time froze and his heart returned to normal as his fingers touched his mother’s features.

“How…” a million questions crossed his mind just as tears blurred his vision.

Y/N came around to circle him from behind, resting her chin on his shoulder. “Months before passing away, Polly gave me a few boxes of photographs, she thought I’d know what to do with it.

“I remember this photo, but it was damaged and it was in black and white.” Tommy choked, taking a deep breath to try to keep his emotions at bay.

“I edited it love, deleted the stains and colored the photo.” Y/N explained.

“Thank you.” He was fighting hard the lump installed in his throat.

Because as he took another box, he found a small album filled with Polaroids of pictures he had never seen before. His mother appeared in a couple dressed in a light blue dress in what seemed like her birthday celebration.

And before he could even ask Y/N how or when she got those, she whispered with a smile. “Found them in one of the boxes, then I learned how to convert film negatives into digital photos.”

Tommy couldn’t find the words to thank her for her thoughtful gift. Those photographs held memories of his loved ones, the only link he had to his keen and his past, and somehow she brought it back to life.

One by one, he revisited his past, his background through each Polaroid. And that was priceless.”There’s something else at the bottom.” Y/N pointed out when she noticed Tommy’s eyes were fixed on his mother portrait.

He blinked and looked at her in confusion. More? As if this wasn’t enough?

To his surprise, there was something else, a frame.

But it wasn’t any frame, Y/N plugged it and it came to life, showing Tommy a digital image of him and his mother.

“I might have used Photoshop a bit.” She explained nervously because of his silence.

The edited image showed him next to his mother and a blurred background, and making it look as if they got their picture taken together. His heart skipped a beat and suddenly another image appeared. It was Polly this time, a fabulous photo of her on her wedding day.

And so on many more images he had never seen filled the screen. He was mesmerized and shocked at the same time.

“This is the best present you could ever get me.” His words were full of gratitude. How could he ever top this?”How did you do that?”

Tommy asked so emotional when he saw an animated version of his mother, she was smiling at the camera, then looked away and finally she looked up in the sky laughing.

“I put together the series of photos I found, turned it into a video and looks like she’s moving.”

“Come here.” He pleaded, not finding the right words to thank her.

This wasn’t their first Christmas together, but it was definitely different. After been living together for almost a year, Y/N deserved the world, she had been so supportive after the sudden passing of his beloved aunt, she had been a wonderful step mother to Charlie, she practically took charge of everything to make this gathering for his family for Christmas to try to make it smoother for everyone specially the children.

Taking her hand, he placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles, his eyes saying more than his lips could.

Over the course of their relationship, she had been in charge of immortalizing several family portraits and important events like birthdays, holidays, school milestones… she loved it and to have a piece from his past as well captured in digital photographs was so important to her.

“Rose sent the Christmas card earlier.” Y/N added in an attempt to lighten the emotions he was going through.

“How could I miss it if you left it on my desk?” It was a family photograph Y/N took of her best friend Rose, her fiancé Alfie and their dog Cyril.

A soft giggle escaped her lips, their teasing would never end.

“I also happen to have another present for you.” Tommy added after a minute.

“Dad, Y/N look here.” Charlie interrupted their conversation, he was waving the instant camera she gave him and the kid had been snapping Polaroids of everyone.

“Charlie bring me my phone please.” Tommy asked pointing at the other side of the room. While his son skipped happily moving up and down the photo he took, he returned with a smile and handed the phone. “Show Y/N the wallet app.”

“What’s this?” Y/N was trying to process what she found on the screen.

“We’re going to Scotland tomorrow love, to spend New Year with your grandmother.” Tommy explained running his hand up and down Y/N’s back.

Now it was her turn to feel emotional over the gift she just got. Her grandma couldn’t travel anymore and she wasn’t in position to host a big party, but Tommy organized everything to spend a few days with her.

Leaning on his shoulder, she wrapped an arm around his neck, her free hand inviting Charlie as well. To them it wasn’t about the presents under the Christmas tree, but the people around it.

Thank you again so much for reading! Remember your feedback is the best gift you could give 🎄♥️✨🥰

Blurbs

Master list

Tag list: @lyarr24 @runnning-outof-time @cillmequick @datewithgianni @cloudofdisney

@gretelshelby @garrison-girl-08 @lespendy @onlydeadcells @fastfan

@stevie75 @prettylittlehoneyeyesxoxo @esposadomd @forbidden-forest-witch @ange-thoughts

@moral-terpitude @elenavampire21 @narlytude @winchestergirl22

@zablife @elk96 @blondie-22 @imichelle-l-rigby @allie131313 @already-broken144

@peakyscillian @babaohhhriley @shaddixlife @sloanexx @sydneyyyya @lau219 @cljordan-imperium

@adaydreamaway08 @pono-pura-vida @thomashelbyswife @darleneslane @lauren-raines-x

@everythingelseisextra @kmc1989 @red-riding-wood @lovemissyhoneybee

@mythicalcowboyatheart @jbrownta @outlanderuniverse

#that’s what Cill said #tommy shelby x reader #modern tommy shelby imagine #modern tommy shelby #thomas shelby blurb #thomas shelby fanfiction #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby x you #thomas shelby fluff #modern peaky blinders

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winchesterwild78 · 3 days ago

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On the Tenth Day of Christmas

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: fluff, light smut (nothing too bad)

A/N: Day 10 of my holiday fics. I hope you enjoy this short series. I’m really excited about it. All work is my own, please don’t take it. Reblogs and likes are welcomed.

I do not own the rights to the characters I use, these will not follow the story lines of the series the character appeared in. This is a work of fiction.

Written fast and edited fast, please overlook any errors.

This one got a little long, sorry. Sorry it took so long to put this one up, I’m sick and was trying to get through the last few days before Winter Break.

Minors DNI 18+

It had just started snowing in the lazy little town where I lived. A light dusting of fresh snow laying on any surface that didn’t move.

I’d lived here my whole life so I was not surprised it was snowing in December. The air was crisp and clean. The snow always had a way of cleaning the air.

The light crunch the snow made under my shoes were the only sounds I heard. My hands were in my pockets as I walked home from my shift at the diner and it was pretty late.

I didn’t live far and I loved looking at the Christmas lights that lined the streets.

In the distance I heard a low rumble of a car approaching. I looked up and saw a sleek black car with two male passengers. I looked at them as they passed by, they definitely weren’t local. The driver winked at me and my cheeks flushed red.

Putting my head down I kept walking. Finally making it home, I showered and crawled into bed.

The next morning I went to work like any other day. The snow had left a few inches on the ground so I knew we were going to be busy. When I walked in my co-worker Cheryl greeted me, “Oh I’m so glad you’re here. We’ve been so busy. Can you take table 4. They just sat down. Here’s their drinks.”

I nodded and grabbed the tray. I approached the table and greeted them, “Hello, my name is Y/N and I’ll be your server. I have your drinks, are you ready to order?”

The men sitting at the table were the same men I saw last night. They were even better looking up close. “Hey sweetheart, I’ll have a breakfast platter with extra bacon and a side of pancakes, and keep the coffee coming, please.” The one with piercing green eyes said. The other one just asked for an egg omelette and some fresh fruit.

I nodded and took their order to the kitchen.

I busied myself with other customers and when their order was finished I carried it over to them.

Green eyes flashed his smile and it made my heart flutter. He was definitely good looking. The other man with him wasn’t bad to look at either.

“Can I get y’all anything else?” “Just some syrup and your phone number, darlin’” He smirked as he said it. The other man with him shot him a look, “Dean, stop.” “Oh lighten up, Sammy.”

So their names are Sam and Dean. “The syrup is no problem, Dean. The number you’re going to have to work for.” I winked and walked away. My heart is hammering in my chest. I didn’t dare turn around.

Cheryl laughed, “Girl you’re being stared at hard.” I glanced over my shoulder and saw Dean staring at me.

I grabbed the syrup and walked back over. “So, Y/N, what time do you get off?” Dean asked. “That depends. Are you talking about work or something else?”

Sam almost spit his drink out. Dean smirked, “Maybe both.”

I bit my lip, “I get off work at 4, as far as something else, that really depends on you.” I smirked and walked away. Dean’s jaw on the ground. “Damn, Sammy. I think I met my match.” “Seems like it, Dean.” Sam chuckled.

Dean stood and walked to the counter. Cheryl looked at him and then at me. I grabbed some food to deliver to another table. He watched as I walked away.

Dean was leaning against the counter when I returned. His back to me and I could see his toned back through the tight t-shirt he was wearing. I saw Cheryl and him talking.

As I walked up Cheryl smiled at me and he tilted his head to the side to look at me.

“So sweetheart, how about I pick you up at 7 and we grab some dinner or something.” He smirked.

I smirked and stepped closer, “Maybe, but I have to warn you I tend to eat my dessert first.” Cheryl chuckled and Dean laughed, “Sounds good to me. I’ll bring pie.”

Sam and Dean finished their food and paid their bill. On the ticket Dean wrote his number and then 7pm.

I was a mixture of nerves and excitement as the time crept closer to 7. When I got off work I went home, showered and went through every piece of clothing I owned. I had no idea what had me so nervous. Dean wasn’t a local, so I knew this was going to be a one night thing, but here I was still trying to find the perfect outfit at 6:30.

I finally decided on my favorite pair of jeans that fit just right, a band t-shirt, my leather jacket and my black low heel boots.

My hair was pulled back in a high ponytail and I applied light makeup. Standing back from the full length mirror I looked myself over and nodded in approval.

About 5 minutes to 7 there was a light knock on my door. I opened it and standing there was Dean. He’d changed his clothes since I last saw him and damn did he look good. His hair perfectly styled, a shirt that was just tight enough to show off his firm chest, dark jeans and boots.

“Wow, you look amazing, sweetheart.” I blushed and smiled. “Thank you, Dean. So do you.”

I grabbed my stuff and we walked to the car. It had started snowing again so the ground was a little slippery.

As I got to the car door I slipped. Bracing myself for a fall that didn’t come. I looked up and saw Dean’s green eyes looking down at me, “Careful sweetheart. I was promised dessert first, not an ER visit.”

I chuckled as he helped me up, “Thanks Dean, but I don’t remember promising you dessert. I said I always have my dessert first.” I winked at him and he laughed.

He opened the car door and I got in. The inside of his car was beautiful. He slid into the driver’s seat, “So where to sweetheart? Know any good dessert places?” “I thought you were bringing the pie, Dean.” I smiled.

He smirked, “I think I forgot it.” “Oh wow, and here I thought you were trying to get me in bed. What kind of man promises pie and doesn’t deliver? Makes me wonder what else you can’t deliver on.” The side of my mouth twitched up into a grin.

“Oh believe me, sweetheart, I can and will deliver.” I touched his leg, “We’ll see.”

Dean pulled off to the side of the road and put the car in park. I looked over at him and noticed his green eyes were dark with lust. “You’re playing with fire, darlin’.”

My hand slid up his thigh, “I enjoy fire.” Before I knew what was happening, Dean’s lips were on mine and his hand on the back of my neck. The kiss was full of need, passion and want.

We moaned into each other’s mouths. My hands slid into his hair at the nape of his neck.

Dean pulled me closer to him and he moved to the center of the front seat. Just enough for me to straddle him. His hands firmly on my hips, his lips on mine, seemed to ground me in the moment.

He pulled my jacket off and threw it to the side. His fingers are playing with the hem of my shirt.

I nodded and he pulled my shirt over my head revealing my supple breasts confined by the lacey material of my bra.

His lips trailing down my neck to the tops of my breasts, his hands and fingers delicately touching up my body.

“You’re so beautiful, sweetheart.” My breath hitched. I’d never done anything like this before, but Dean was like a magnet. Pulling me closer to him and try as I might I couldn’t seem to pull myself away. Not that I wanted to.

“Dean, I..” My voice trailed off as his lips trailed over my body. I felt him smirk against my skin. The heat pooling between my legs was growing and soaking my panties.

“Darlin’, let’s take this back to my room. Sammy is out and we have the place to ourselves. I don’t want our first time to be in the car.” I smiled and nodded.

I climbed off Dean, pulled my shirt back on as he slid back into the driver’s seat and took off towards his hotel. Once inside the room he was back on me, kissing and touching every inch of my body.

Our bodies fell on the bed and tangled with the sheets. Dean was gentle but dominated me all at once. He took me places I’d never been and I didn’t want to let go.

I laid in his arms, my head and hand resting on his chest as Dean wrapped his arm around me. Our breathing steady and I let out a sigh. “Whatcha thinking about sweetheart?” “Honestly, how I’m going to be able to let you go when you and Sam leave, because I know you two aren’t staying here.”

Dean lifted his head and looked at me, “Then don’t.” I sat up and looked at him in shock, “What?” “Don’t let me go. Come with me and Sammy.” “Dean, you don’t mean that, you can’t be serious.”

He sat up and turned to face me, cupping my face, “I’m very serious, come with me. I don’t want to leave unless you’re by my side.”

“Dean, we just met. You couldn’t possibly know you want me to come with you.” “Y/N. I’ve lived a hard life. One that doesn’t offer second chances so I’ve learned when you see something or someone you want you go for it. All in, head over heels.”

“Dean, I need to think about it. This is my home. It has been my whole life.” Dean nodded, he understood. Not everyone grew up like he had. “When do you leave, Dean?” “In three days.” “Okay, I’ll let you know by the end of the second day.”

He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips, “I’ll be waiting, sweetheart.”

The next few days we sent as much time together as we could. I still had work, and he was in town doing whatever he was here for.

The day before he left I was walking home thinking about my decision. That’s when I looked up and saw Sam and Dean in suits walking out of the Sheriff’s office. My brows furrowed in confusion.

Later that evening I sat with my leg bouncing. I needed to talk to Dean but I also had a decision to make. To say I was nervous was an understatement.

Dean arrived at my place looking incredible. He wasn’t wearing the suit, but damn did he look good. He pulled me into a tight hug and placed a kiss on my lips. “Hey sweetheart, I’ve missed you today.” I snuggled into his chest, “I missed you too, Dean.”

When we pulled away from each other I nervously bit my lip. Dean noticed how nervous I was and it made him nervous. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

I looked up at him, “Yeah, um, can we talk?” Dean nodded and motioned to the couch.

We sat down and he placed his hand on my knee. His touch always had a way of grounding me. I took a deep breath and began talking.

“Dean, I don’t know what to say. You came into my life unexpectedly and now I can’t see my life without you in it, but I don’t know anything about you. You want me to come with you and Sam, but I don’t know what that means. Where is home? What do you and Sam do for work, because obviously you work together. Have you ever been married, or have any kids? I don’t know anything about you. I’ve poured my life out for you, so you know the answers to those questions, but you’re so guarded. I see myself falling for you, but I can’t be with someone who has secrets. Like why did I see you and Sam come out of the Sheriff’s office in suits today?”

His eyes went wide and I saw his shoulders tense. I knew I hit a nerve. “Y/N, there are things in my life that are ugly. Down right terrifying. I can answer your questions, but you have to trust me. Trust that I will spend every breath keeping you safe. Home is an underground bunker. We kinda inherited it, it’s not your traditional place to live, but it’s home and we make it home. I’ve never been married and don’t have any kids, I’d like to have both one day, and I see that now because of you. As far as Sammy and I, we travel across the country and hunt monsters. Vampires, ghosts, demons, all of it are real. We are hunters. Our mother grew up in the life, our dad did not, but after she was killed he began hunting the demon that killed her. I was 4 and Sam was 6 months.”

I gasped and touched his arm. “Oh Dean, I’m so sorry.” My heart broke for him with the realization he’d been taking care of Sam since he was 4 years old.

“So, all of the things in horror movies, the things that go bump in the night are real?” He nodded. “And you and Sam hunt them down and kill them?” Again, he nodded. “So that means something was here, and you two were here to take care of it?”

His eyes flicked to mine, “We’ve taken care of it. It was a vampire that was trying to establish a nest. All those missing people were being turned.”

“Oh my god.” I whispered. “This is a lot to take in, Dean. Now you’re telling me there was a vampire here, in the one place I felt safe.”

He touched my face, “I’m sorry, darlin’. Just know you’re safe and if you decide not to go with me I’ll make sure you stay that way.” Logistically I didn’t know how that would work, but I knew Dean would keep me safe no matter what.

“Dean, where are you spending Christmas?” “Hopefully in your arms, but unless we get a case we will be at home, at the bunker.”

I smiled, “How about I spend it with you at the bunker, or wherever you are?” Dean smirked, “Are you serious?” I nodded, “Yes, Dean. Let’s just jump head first into whatever this is. I don’t want to be anywhere else but with you.”

He kissed my lips, “Great, come on, let’s go tell Sammy you’re coming with us. I can’t wait to spend the first of many Christmases together.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me out the door to the car.

Before we got in the car he leaned me against it, tilted my chin up and kissed me deeply.

“Dean I..” I couldn’t say it for fear it would scare him, but damn did I feel it already. “I know sweetheart, I do too.” He kissed me again, and we drove towards Sam to tell him we decided on forever.

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#hes gorgeous #so damn sexy #dean winchester #dean winchester x plus size!reader #dean x reader

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petrichorium · 11 hours ago

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i will always support u making my posts about robot fucking

I was thinking abt soundwave in particular and how it starts with pure curiosity. You’re so soft and pliable, and every part of you is so sensitive. He has to be so gentle but it’s downright hypnotizing to prod at you and feel the soft give of your fragile flesh. You give him bared dentae and pouting dermas (teeth, humans call them. Lips. Odd little organics with strange terms that somehow suit your familiar-yet-foreign features) but they'd take more damage than they could possibly give if you attempted to use them on him, so it’s cute more than anything else.

Cuter still are the sounds you make. Piercing shrieks and little wobbles to the words of your empty threats only get louder and more shrill when his servos press against certain areas—the sides and front of your chest, the line of your neck where it throbs with life, the bottoms of your minuscule pedes. And then he discovers the noises he can pull from your lips when his digits slide between your legs.

You're so tiny, easy to squeeze too hard, so he decides his probes are better to use than his sharp digits. They hold you down as he watches, stoic and unmoving, no matter how much you squirm and thrash. That little bud swells to attention beneath the cool touch of his feelers and your protests give way to the prettiest pleading until something breaks and suddenly you're sobbing, optics glistening with fluid, dainty arms clutching at his probe for support rather than to push away. An overload, surely, or whatever your kind's version of such a thing would possibly be; despite himself, Soundwave finds himself preening at the idea. He keeps going past countless peaks and crashes until your voice has gone hoarse—keeps going beyond that, because you’re giving him different noises now and he’s not about to miss out on everything he can possibly pull from you. He doesn't stop until you've gone completely limp and he realizes your weak little body has been forced into that pesky recharge state that humans require so pitifully often. You're lucky he finds your noises compelling enough that he bothered to request one of those soft berths your kind prefers.

You aren't nearly as thankful as he deserves. You test his patience, days spent being fussy and uncooperative until you manage to tuck yourself away in a corner too small for him to pry you out without harm, and that's when he loses enough patience to forego the niceties. He plays the recordings you didn't even realize he took—your breathy moans and choked-off whines, every sob and keen and heave that now lives safely tucked away in his memory banks for him to peruse whenever he so pleases. He can't see you from where you cower, but he can sense how your faceplate heats up and hear the increasingly rapid pattering of your tiny organic heart, and though your alien body cannot generate the emfs his kind uses for their most intimate form of communication his own spark stutters with a wicked kind of excitement at your instinctive reaction.

His fortitude, after all, will prove much stronger than your obstinance. You'll emerge from your cold little nest and welcome his beckoning servo soon enough.

#ask.🌧#saintshigaraki #AHAHAHA OKAY APPARENTLY THIS TURNED INTO A DRABBLE OOPS #hes completely unabashed abt what he uses the recordings for btw just openly says he listens to them when hes bored on patrol or in meeting #insanity #cw.yandere #cw.noncon #char.🌧 soundwave #mine.🌧#UHHHHH largely self explanatory i think but #dentae = teeth #dermas = lips #servos = hands #digits = fingers #opics = eyes #faceplate = face #spark = heart/soul #yeah. yeah

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auroracalisto · 24 hours ago

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day #22: "i'll be home for christmas"

tangerine x gn!reader, 1k words a/n: i mention that you like cheese ball and when i say that, i mean this thing (this thing also says msg but i think the recipe we use has something else... idk). i hope it's not just a southern west virginia thing. it's my favorite thing at holidays. i know it looks freaky and child me used to REFUSE but these and tollhouse butter crackers... cheese ball hates to see me comin', y'all. also, did you know that "i'll be home for christmas" was initially written in regards to soldiers overseas who wouldn't be home to celebrate christmas with their loved ones? crazyy.

I'll be home for Christmas You can plan on me Please have snow and mistletoe And presents on the tree Christmas Eve'll find me Where the love light gleams I'll be home for Christmas If only in my dreams

Before you, he never truly cared for Christmas, or any holiday for that matter. It just didn't strike him as anything special. But then he met you, and it was like something within him changed. You seemed so... excited for simple things like gifts and merry-making, and by God, he'd make sure he'd make you the happiest person in the world if he could help it.

But work was work. He couldn't just avoid it, and he especially couldn't turn down suck an incredible paycheck. Hell, this job may have been difficult, but who the hell would've thought it would have lasted this long?

Typically, his jobs lasted a few days. Maybe a week or two, tops. This one was going on three weeks, and nearing Christmas. It was as if whoever this damned man had wanted him to miss Christmas—wanted him to miss the morning lying in bed with you, kissing you, making you feel like you were the only person in the world.

He didn't often hate his job, but right now? He wished he would have some cozy office job where he'd be home no matter what. Every holiday, he'd be by your side, decorating and drinking and participating in whatever merry making you wanted. Damn, he'd even try baking cookies and creating that weird cheese ball thing you'd mentioned from your childhood. It looked more like a thing that could grow legs and walk away, but he'd give anything just to be home with you. To be with you instead of sitting here growing restless with his brother grumbling on about how he wished he was home as well—not that he could blame him.

Tangerine patted his thigh with his hand and reached for his phone. He dialed your number, a frown on his lips. He sat on the edge of his hotel bed, knowing that he wouldn't be home. There'd be no way, regardless of how much he wanted to be. But he'd lie. A little white lie never hurt anyone, right?

"Hey, love," he said as soon as the receiver picked up.

"Hi, Tan," he heard your voice come through.

He smiled a bit to himself. "You, uh, doin' alright?" he asked. "Takin' care of yourself, yeah?"

Lemon glanced over at him, raising a curious eyebrow. Tangerine just waved him off with a pursed lip."

"Yeah," you said. "Tan, how's the job coming? Are you almost done?"

Your voice is soft on the receiver—must be poor service from his end.

"I miss you."

The words strike him silent for a moment. He sighed softly and closed his eyes. "Yeah, I know you do, love," he said. "I'm sorry. I'll be home soon, I promise."

"How soon?" you asked.

"I'm aimin' for Christmas Eve," he said, a small smile playing on his lips. He could hear Lemon protesting the little lie, but Tangerine simply waved him off and then proceeded to flip him off.

"Christmas Eve. You don't sound too sure," you replied.

He breathed through his nose and closed his eyes. Why were you always so good at seeing through his words? It was almost like you were a psychic. Either that or Lemon was fucking texting you that he was lying.

Tangerine cursed at his brother, throwing one of the hard hotel pillows at his face. It hit him and Lemon let out a shout in protest.

"Tangerine," you said, his code name drawing his attention back to the phone.

"Right. Sorry, love. I, uh, it's not lookin' too good, sweetheart. I'm going to try and make it back as soon as I can, but I can't make any promises right now."

"Really?" you sadly said.

"Yeah, really," he said. "You know, maybe I can dream about being home for the holidays."

You scoffed softly. "What, like the Bing Crosby song?"

"What song?" he asked.

"Um," you paused. "'I'll Be Home for Christmas.'"

"Bing Crosby?"

"The singer, you dipshit," Lemon quipped from his side of the hotel room.

Tangerine rolled his eyes. "How's it go, love? Remind me."

"I'm not singing it to you," you said, "but I'll send it to you."

He snorted softly. "Yeah, you do that," he said.

Tangerine glanced toward the clock on the wall—it was nearly two in the morning. He sighed softly. He knew you were a couple hours behind him, so he wasn't keeping you awake, but he knew you still needed to go. You had a life beyond him (or at least, he hoped you did—jokes, jokes).

"Look, love, if things change, I'll be the first to message you," he said.

You sighed softly on the phone. "Do that," you said. "I miss you, Tan."

"I miss you more, love. Honest."

"I know," you said. "Just... be safe. Come home soon. We can always celebrate when you get back."

His brows furrowed. "How would we celebrate Christmas after the holiday?"

You snorted softly. "I don't think Christmas is just a day," you said. "I feel like as long as you have the people you want to celebrate with, it can be a holiday. The number doesn't truly matter."

He hummed softly at your words. "Want to invite Lemon?"

"If you want Lemon, sure."

He grinned. "Sounds like a plan, love. I'll save a day of Christmas just for you, though."

You scoffed over the phone, but he just knew you were smiling.

"I love you," Tangerine softly said. He knew Lemon heard it, and he'd say something later, but all he wanted was for you to say it back.

Perhaps it was his only wish of the night as he heard the words "I love you" over the phone, and a wish for him to have a good night.

When you hung up, he dropped his phone and looked toward Lemon.

"If we don't finish this fuckin' job in the next two days, someone is gonna bloody die, and it isn't me."

Lemon rolled his eyes. "Stop bein' so fuckin' dramatic. We'll finish the job and you can be back home playing house with your little beau."

Tangerine grumbled under his breath and laid back in his hotel bed, looking up at the popcorn ceiling.

"Damn. Remind me in the future to take all of December off."

Lemon raised an eyebrow. "You plan on taking all of December off just for a holiday?"

"Nah, mate, not just a holiday. For them."

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backpackingspace · 1 day ago

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sinmas thoughts

Okay so I literally just finished the episode an hour ago! And !! Omg

Okay first off deeply concerned about a few things

Like yes yay the elsa bitch guy getting beat up was great but like how fucking easy is it going to be for him to turn around and go hey these peasants attacked me in my own home and it's back to them about to be executed. Like there's no fucking way there isn't consequences for this

Did anybody else notice millie getting punched by elsa bitch really fucking hard right in her lower stomach. Because I sure did! What if she's not pregnant after that what if she comes to terms with being pregnant and starts to get excited only to find out her baby was murdered before it even had a chance.

There were...a lot of fucking pill bottles there. Were they empty or did stolas just mass order his fucking pills. I am worried that via will start to take them. After all she's alone in a traumatic household with her world burning down around her

Speaking of via her powers!! Coming in! And them being sporadic as fuck and tied to her emotions? Can't wait for her to literally blow everybody up that'll be a fun time.

Still on via, bot really a concern just something I'm thinking about. The way via knew immediately not to argue with her mother, or even attempt to get her phone back or get an extra one or anything at all is very telling. The way she knew to just immediately put her headphones in and keep her head down and to go hide in her room. The way she went even further to hide in her closet before starting to sing? (How many times do we think she heard her mom berate her dad for singing) i think via knows her dad was being abused but hasn't yet fully realized what that means and is (understandablely) having a lot of feelings in every single direction.

Luna seems so much more happier and relaxed! She has friends now! She's laughing and smiling and not wearing exclusively dark clothes! She's openly calling blizo dad with out the grumbling! She just seems a lot more settled and happy now and honestly good for her!!

Idk why but I was not expecting stolas to sound like that. Just the way he said pussy caught me off guard for some reason. There were a couple other times where that happened but I don't really feel like listening them all out. Also. Fucking weird to be seeing stolas's pupils now.

Also!!! Stolas's face as m&m tore into each other. Wow. You know he was freaking the fuck out there and reliving some shit.

Speaking of background faces; the imp servants at the palace. Yah they all looked miserable and terrified. Not surprised but still yikes! With stolas they were always very much done with his shit , tired, and resigned but none of them seemed really terrified/upset like they do now.

Love that we don't really get overly nice manipulation Stella on via. Like she didn't even pretend to give a shit about her for more than that one second did she.

Blitzo calling stolas his bottom instead of just... literally anything else. Like he literally did not have to do that. But also confirmed stolitz dom/sub contract? 👀 or is this blitzo being himself and I'm reading too much into it.

All of us secretary! Stolas secretary! Stolas only for it to turn out that he hates it so fucking much ("I'm poor now! Melts into a puddle oh man. )

#helluva boss #stolas goetia #octavia goetia #blitzø #stolas x blitz #millie knolastname #moxie helluva boss #Luna #sinsmas #helluva boss spoilers #New episode let's go #I got to spend all day caving and there's a new one? Best day ever!#Post episode thoughts #Spoilers #Me: seeing stoliza dance aw were getting a cute episode #Me: after watching emotionally devastated what. The.fuck #m&m helluva boss

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kissme-withyour-cherrylipstick · 2 days ago

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Merry Kissmas, Day 21

Not having found anything for Morgana the day before, they head into town again and try out an assortment of other shops.

“What do you think Morgana would like from here?” Arthur asks as they stand in the kitchen section of one such shop.

“I dunno, she’s your sister, you know her better than I do.”

“Yeah, but she’s a girl. And you’re... you.”

“I am not a girl.” Merlin crosses his arms.

“Yes, I know,” Arthur says with a raise of his eyebrows that tugs at Merlin’s heart a little, another reminder he is not what Arthur wants.

“You know who’s a girl? And Morgana’s friend? And who you should have brought instead of me? Gwen.” Merlin pulls his phone out and calls Gwen. He stares at Arthur as he waits for her to answer, trying to shame him. “Hi, Gwen! What gift do you think Morgana would like better? A frying pan or a rolling pin?”

“Um. I don’t think you should get her either of those things,” says Gwen.

“She says you’re a clueless dunce,” Merlin says to Arthur.

“She didn’t say that.”

“I’m translating.” Back to Gwen. “So really, what do you think she would like?”

“Well, she was telling me the other day—” Gwen’s voice is cut off by Arthur scooping Merlin close with one arm and kissing him. Merlin almost drops his phone, but manages to turn comfortably into Arthur, arms slinking up Arthur’s shoulders and wrapping around his neck. It feels like the kind of kiss someone would give you if they genuinely wanted to kiss you for the sake of kissing you and Merlin forgets everything else as he becomes lost in Arthur’s lips and tongue, the heat from his chest against Merlin’s roiling something inside him.

It’s over as quickly as it began and Merlin stares at Arthur, utterly defenseless, now lost in his eyes, until the world comes back to him in the form of Gwen yelling at him from his phone.

Arthur feels it too. “I’m in the lead now,” he says, pretending like he didn’t just do that .

“Gwen?” Merlin answers his phone, and Arthur turns to look at kitchen utensils.

“What happened?”

“Arthur um... he... he’s in the lead now.”

“Oh. In public?”

“Yeah.” He looks around, but no other shoppers are acting like they saw anything. “Yeah. I’ll tell you about it later.”

“Sounds serious.”

“It is. Um. Yeah. I’ll tell you about it later.”

��Oh, Merlin. Are you okay?”

“I’ll tell you about it later .”

“Okay, well, I was saying that Morgana wants weapons for Christmas.”

As Merlin lies in bed, he muses that it’s beyond his capability to comprehend how he’s never really noticed Arthur before. Sure, he always knew Arthur was an attractive man, but the precise way in which light caught in his golden hair, the way his eyes twinkled when he was excited, the curve of his shoulders, the way he worried his lower lip with his thumb when he was deep in thought—have never cut so close to Merlin’s heart before. His extreme pratishness has always veiled these things, but now these past weeks of kissing his friend have blown all Merlin’s defenses down and he’s trapped, helpless, in the storm.

Three weeks of kissing Arthur everyday and it’s been wonderful, but now it’s almost over. How are they going to go back to normal after this? Merlin doesn’t want to, but surely Arthur does. Gwen insisted this wasn’t the case but it’s hard to have faith in her words when she has just as much evidence as he does. He wants to believe that this is something reciprocal, but he also wants to be sure. When he feels moisture squeeze from the corner of his eye and down his cheek to Arthur’s pillow, he knows it’s serious.

Oh, god , he thinks. I love him, don’t I? Could there be anything worse?

#merlin #merthur #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #merlin fanfic #merlin emrys #my fanfic #merry kissmas

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marshmallowprotection · 2 days ago

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Hello I would like to personally put that ribbon with a bell on catboy Ray's tail :3

Ray's expression was incredulous as you held out your hands. There was a small gift package meant for him to open, but he seemed more caught up in the fact that you made something for him rather than trying to figure out what you made. He mentioned to you once before that he hadn't had the chance to celebrate anything before... nobody ever thought to give him a gift for "no reason".

He didn't know what it felt like to receive a gift "just because"! In your eyes, that was sad. Sure, nobody was entitled to a gift out of the blue, much less on their special day, but it just felt... unfair to think that he hadn't been able to experience the wonder of someone wanting him to feel special because they thought of him. There was no obligation to give him a gift, but you wanted to give it to him all the same.

As he tilted his head to the side, his ears perked up. "You made a gift? For me?"

"Of course," You reassured him with a nod of your head. "I wanted to make something special for you! It's been a while since I've seen you and I thought you might want a reminder of me when you're working hard."

How could he say no to that? What Ray craved more than anything else was the chance to be doted on, after all. You knew it from the moment he lit up when someone complimented him for the first time. That person being you, of course, but still, nevertheless, you wanted to make sure he never forgot what it felt like to be doted on.

Out of anyone trapped in this place, he deserved to have someone tell him he was worth much more than what his Savior told him he was. Nobody else was going to go to the "trouble" of trying to brighten his day, but you weren't some kind of "nobody". You were his precious game tester, and you weren't going to let him forget it. Just as he had decided you were precious to him.

"Do I... do I open it here?"

You chuckled. "I don't mind if you open it with me, but it's okay if you would rather wait to open it when you're back in your office. Though, if I'm being honest... this is a gift I'd love to see in person... I won't be greedy if you want to experience this gift by yourself first!"

Ray thought about it for a moment. You didn't want to rush him into deciding one way or another, knowing that your gift might spark him into a troubled heart, but you were eager to see his reaction when he realized what his gift was. Even if he decided to open it by himself, it wouldn't take long for him to call you and ask question after question about what your gift was meant to do.

But, much to your delight, he took the gift from your hands and began to quietly unravel the bow you used to close the box. Ray's hands trembled in what could either be nerves or excitement. He took his time, setting the bow to the set before lifting the lid and digging past the pink and purple tissue paper to procure the gift hidden underneath.

"...A collar?"

As he held up the present, a pink ribbon with a bow tied in the center knot, his cheeks began to burn the same rosy hue. It dangled from his fingertips as he tried to make sense of it. He was as charmed as he was perplexed. You didn't expect him to call it a collar, though. It took a while to find something that wouldn't remind him of those old nightmares he told you about...

But, if that's his first thought... is it okay to continue from here?

You shook your head. "Oh no, dear. I wouldn't ask you to wear a collar for me. I know your history with them... the last thing I would ever do is gift you something that would bring up bad memories. This is very different! If it's alright with you, could I... show you what it's intended for?"

You expected him to be reluctant. But, he wasn't. Ray held out his hands so you could reclaim your gift. Even if his first thought was something akin to his worries, you knew this gift was different. He could opt out of it at any time, and you wouldn't insist he continue wearing it if it truly reminded him of an oppressive collar. So, with a tug, you spun Ray around so he was facing away from you, and he gasped.

It was the sweetest sound, so cute and awed by how easily you could sway him.

"Now, Ray, if you don't like it..."

"I know, [Y/N]... you won't force me to do anything I don't want to do even if I would go along with it."

It was better to reaffirm his consent.

You twirled the fabric from the base of Ray's tail all the way to the tip, making sure not to compress the skin beneath the fur but making it just tight enough to keep it from falling. Unlike Saeran who would flick his tail at the smallest bit of indignation, when Ray swished his tail faster and faster, it was because he was feeling... nervous about this or that. It wasn't that odd to see him tuck his tail around one of his legs to keep it from showing.

But, as soon as you pulled your hand away, his tail began to swish back and forth, tempering the newfound weight the ribbon added with glee. The jingle, jingle, jingle... carried a tune that reminded you of what his heart sounded like when you kissed him in the gardens. It was methodical, slow, and sweet.

"There we go," you patted his head. "Now, you're looking like a very pretty kitty, Ray."

Ray peered over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of his tail, only to spin around in place to hunt a better view of it. You pressed a hand to your lip to stifle the sound. He looked more like an eager puppy trying to catch his tail than a kitten who received his first bell! But, the more he spun, the more delighted you became.

You caught him by the arm and held him in place, lifting his tail around his center so he could watch his tail twitch in excitement. There was no way he could hide what this made him feel. He wasn't a good liar, something always gave him away, but seeing his tail show it felt the most satisfying. Every rattle of the bell was a reminder of how excited Ray was.

"I'm a pretty kitty?"

With a gentle ruffle of his hair that forced his ears to sway under your touch, you grinned. "You're my pretty kitty... that's better than just... a pretty kitty, Ray. Thank you for wearing my bell... this way, you'll hear the sound of my heart every time your tail moves."

Jingle, jingle, jingle...

#sensetenou #ask #mod kait #mystic messenger #mysme #saeran choi #mysticmessenger #mm #choi saeran #ray choi #choi ray #ray mystic messenger #ray mysme #ray mm #mm ray #mystic messenger ray #mysme ray

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kathlare · 3 days ago

Text

unfinished business

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: Amelie finds herself confiding in Gracie Abrams backstage about an unexpected encounter with Lando Norris at a recent party. Their conversation unravels Amelie's unresolved emotions and the complicated history between her and Lando.

Wordcount: 1.2 k

Warnings: just fluff

request over here!

August 7th, 2024 - Los Angeles, CA

Amelie sat on the leather couch in Gracie Abrams’ dressing room, the lights from the vanity mirror casting a soft glow on her features. She looked exhausted but content, having just finished a grueling leg of her Emails I Can't Send tour in Asia. It felt surreal to be back in Los Angeles, where the bustling energy of the city mixed with the excitement of Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour. Amelie was opening for Taylor later this month in Mexico, but for now, she had a bit of time to herself before the madness started again.

Gracie sat beside her, adjusting her stage outfit in front of the mirror. Gracie had been kind enough to let Amelie hang out in her dressing room before her own set, and it was a relief for Amelie to finally have someone to talk to.

—So, I ran into Lando again,— Amelie muttered, her voice laced with frustration.

Gracie’s head snapped up from the mirror, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. She already knew about Lando—the history between them was no secret. From their days playing video games in 2020, to their short but intense relationship in 2021, Gracie had heard it all. She knew how much Amelie tried to move on, but no matter how hard she tried, Lando’s presence lingered in the back of her mind.

—No way, where?!— Gracie leaned in, her eyes wide with excitement. —Spill, I need details.—

Amelie took a deep breath, trying to keep her emotions in check. —It was at Penelope's birthday party in Monaco, just a couple of weeks ago. Honestly, I didn’t even know if I was ready to see him again, but there he was.— She paused, her frustration bubbling to the surface. —And he looked... he looked so damn good. Like, it’s not even fair. How does he do it?—

Gracie smirked, her lips curving into a mischievous smile as she turned fully to face Amelie. —Okay, but did he say anything? Or was it one of those 'awkward glance across the room while the sexual tension suffocates everyone else' kind of moments?—

Amelie let out a dry laugh, pulling her knees up to her chest and hugging them. —Oh, he said something, all right. He came over to say hi like nothing had ever happened between us, all casual and charming. He even asked how I’ve been, like he genuinely gave a shit.— She groaned, covering her face with her hands for a moment before looking at Gracie again. —And then, as if the universe wanted to mess with me even more, he was just... nice. He didn’t try to flirt or make things weird. He was just... Lando.—

Gracie leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees. —And that’s what gets to you, isn’t it? That he can just be so fucking effortless while you’re sitting here overthinking everything. Classic guy move.—

—Exactly!— Amelie exclaimed, throwing her hands up. —It’s like, how dare you show up looking like that and being all calm and composed when we have so much... history. I was ready to ignore him all night, you know? I had a plan. But then he had to go and smile at me, and suddenly I couldn’t even remember why I was mad in the first place.—

Gracie gave her a sympathetic smile, scooting closer to Amelie on the couch. —It’s because you’re not really over him. And before you start with the 'I don’t love him anymore' speech, I get it. You don’t have to be in love with someone to still feel... something. Especially when things ended the way they did.—

Amelie sighed, leaning her head back against the couch. —I don’t even know if it’s him I miss, or just... what we had. It was so easy with him at first. He made me laugh when I thought I’d never feel happy again. And for a while, it felt like he was the only person who really saw me, you know? Not Amelie the actress or the singer. Just me.—

Gracie reached out and squeezed Amelie’s hand. —I get that. But if he made you feel that way, why did it go so wrong? What’s stopping you from... trying again?—

Amelie hesitated, biting her lip as she considered the question. —Because he hurt me, Gracie. He made me feel like I wasn’t enough, like my career and my life were too much for him to handle. And I know I wasn’t perfect either—I was busy, distracted, and maybe not as present as I should’ve been. But he started talking to someone else while we were still figuring things out, and that broke me. I don’t think I’ve forgiven him for that.—

Gracie’s face softened, her usual playful demeanor replaced with genuine concern. —That’s valid, Am. What he did was shitty, and you’re allowed to still be angry about it. But... do you think he regrets it? Do you think he’s changed?—

Amelie shrugged, picking at the hem of her oversized sweatshirt. —I don’t know. Maybe. He seemed different at the party, like he’s grown up a bit. But I’m scared, Gracie. What if I let him back in, and he does it again? Or worse, what if I’m just some lingering crush he can’t let go of, and it doesn’t mean as much to him as it does to me?—

Gracie leaned back, crossing her arms as she thought. —You’re overthinking it. But honestly, if you still feel this strongly about him—even after everything—you owe it to yourself to figure out what that means. Whether that’s telling him how you feel or deciding to truly let it go, you can’t keep living in this limbo. It’s not fair to you, and it’s definitely not fair to whoever comes next in your life.—

Amelie nodded slowly, her fingers drumming against her knee. —I just... I don’t want to look weak, you know? Like, if I even hint at wanting him back, he’ll think he has all the power. And I can’t be that girl, Gracie. Not again.—

Gracie gave her a firm look. —Wanting someone back doesn’t make you weak, Ames. It makes you human. But if you’re going to do it, you have to do it on your terms. You set the boundaries, you call the shots. And if he’s serious about you, he’ll respect that. If not, then fuck him. You’ll know you tried.—

Amelie let out a humorless laugh, shaking her head. —I hate that you’re making sense right now. It’s so annoying.—

Gracie grinned, leaning over to bump her shoulder against Amelie’s. —That’s what I’m here for. To annoy you with good advice and remind you that you’re a badass who deserves someone who’s all in. Whether that’s Lando or not, only you can decide.—

The room fell silent for a moment, the distant hum of the concert venue filling the space. Amelie stared at the floor, her mind racing with memories and emotions she thought she’d buried long ago.

—Do you think he still cares?— she asked softly, almost afraid of the answer.

Gracie hesitated before answering, her voice gentle. —I think... if he looked at you the way you’re describing, then yeah. He cares. But the real question is, does he care enough to make it right?—

Amelie didn’t respond, her thoughts too tangled to put into words. All she knew was that seeing Lando again had stirred something in her, something she wasn’t sure she was ready to confront.

But maybe, just maybe, it was time to stop running from it.

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nausicaamusiclover20 · 16 hours ago

Note

Hi! Can I request a load era Kirk x wife!reader when he suggests (as a joke, but he’s playing it very seriously) thathe wants a “hall pass” to hook with a famous model or groupie to “spice up” their marriage cause to him, life has become boring; maybe Lars or James done it and now Kirk wants to try it too. She’s humiliated and threatens to divorce him - but he thinks she’s just joking too. He leaves for studio but then he comes back he finds that she left, but before she filled the divorce papers and called him a hooker for his “hall pass”? And he realizes that she took it seriously and feels stupid?

I hope you like it!❤

A pass too far

I didn’t know how it happened, but somewhere along the way, things started feeling... off. Our routine had become predictable, and I wasn’t blind to the way Kirk had started pulling away. He was restless, like he was missing something. And I tried, I really did, to make things exciting again. But no matter what I did, it felt like he wasn’t really here.

That night, when we sat down for dinner, I thought maybe we could have a conversation about it—maybe he’d finally open up, share what was on his mind. I didn’t expect the bomb he dropped.

“So, babe,” Kirk started, a little too casually, like he was testing the waters, “I’ve been thinking.”

My stomach fluttered a little, expecting him to say something like, "I love you," or maybe "Let’s take a vacation." Instead, what he said next made me freeze.

“I think we should spice things up a little,” he continued, his grin playful, “What if you gave me a hall pass?”

I blinked, sure I hadn’t heard him right. “A what?”

“A hall pass,” he repeated, like it was the most normal thing in the world. He leaned back in his chair, looking almost pleased with himself, “You know, like a free pass to hook up with a model or a groupie. You know, like Lars and James do. They do it, so why not me?”

I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. This had to be some kind of joke. But the more I looked at his face, the more I realized he was completely serious. The smirk on his lips told me he wasn’t joking.

My chest tightened. I could feel the blood draining from my face as I tried to process what he was saying. A hall pass? To sleep with someone else? He was seriously asking me for this? Was he out of his mind?

My thoughts were racing, trying to make sense of it, but all I could manage to say was, “Are you kidding?”

“No, I’m not,” he said, almost too easily, as if this was just another idea he’d thrown out. “I just think, you know, things have gotten kind of boring. A little spice would be good for both of us, don’t you think? We could try something new.”

My hands were shaking now. I pushed my chair back and stood up, the anger rising in my chest. “So, let me get this straight,” I said, my voice trembling, “You want me to just give you permission to go fuck some random woman, and you think that’ll ‘spice things up’ for us?”

He shrugged, as if it was the most natural thing in the world. “Yeah, why not? It’s not like it means anything. It could be fun.”

Fun? My stomach turned. I had never felt so small in my entire life. “So I’m supposed to just let you do that, right?” I laughed bitterly, the sound of it breaking through my shock. “Like I’m just supposed to sit here while you go out and hook up with someone else because you think our marriage is boring?”

“I’m just saying, it could work,” he added, his voice too casual for the storm raging inside me.

I shook my head, backing away from the table. The words caught in my throat, but the anger in my chest was making it hard to breathe. I had no idea how we’d gotten here, how I’d ended up here, with him suggesting that I just let him have some kind of free pass to do whatever he wanted. It was humiliating, and I felt every bit of that humiliation rising in my throat.

“No,” I said, my voice trembling with fury. “No way, Kirk. If you think I’m going to just sit here and let you do that, you’re out of your mind. That’s not how this works. I’m not your fucking hooker, Kirk. And if this is what you want, then I’m done. I’m done.”

His face shifted slightly, but he didn’t seem to fully grasp how serious I was. “Come on, babe, it’s just a joke. Don’t overreact. You’re being dramatic.”

I felt my heart break. "Dramatic?" I repeated, my voice shaking with disbelief. “You seriously think I’m being dramatic? You want to sleep with someone else, and I’m the one overreacting?”

“You’re not overreacting,” he said, finally standing up. “I’m just saying it could be fun—”

“No,” I cut him off, taking a step back. “You’re serious, and I’m not sticking around for this. If you want that, go ahead. But I’m done. We’re done.”

He didn’t try to stop me. He didn’t reach for me or beg me to stay. Instead, he just looked at me with this confused, almost smug expression, like he thought I was the one being ridiculous.

I grabbed my bag, the tears threatening to spill, but I was too angry to let them fall. I didn’t want him to see me break. Not like this. Not over something so stupid.

“I’m filing the divorce papers,” I said, my voice steady but cold. “And don’t bother trying to talk me out of it. You wanted a hall pass, Kirk. You can have it. But I’m not your second choice. I won’t be your joke.”

I left, slamming the door behind me, not caring about the sound or the chaos it left in my wake.

The next morning, I filed the divorce papers. I couldn’t believe it had come to this, but how could I stay with someone who thought so little of me? The worst part was, I had a feeling he didn’t even understand what he’d just done.

I thought about leaving him a note, but the words just came out so easily, so honestly. “I’m not your hooker, Kirk. Goodbye.”

I didn’t expect it to hit me like that.

I walked into the house after a long day at the studio, the sound of guitars and drums still echoing in my mind. The band's been busy with the new album, and there's always something brewing—something new to get excited about. But today, something felt off, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on. The house was quieter than usual. Too quiet.

I called out for her, but no response. Maybe she’d stepped out. Maybe she was out running errands. But no, something didn’t sit right. I walked through the house, checking every room, but there was no sign of her. Nothing.

Then I saw it.

The envelope on the kitchen table. My name was scrawled across it in that familiar handwriting. My stomach twisted.

I opened it without thinking, pulling the paper out. But when my eyes scanned the words, I felt a sudden wave of nausea.

“I’m not your hooker, Kirk. Goodbye.”

I read it again, blinking hard, as if doing so would make it all make sense. Goodbye? No, she couldn’t be serious. She couldn’t. My mind raced as I looked down at the divorce papers that fell out alongside the note. The room started to feel smaller, the air thinner.

I stumbled back a step, trying to make sense of what I was holding. My heart pounded in my chest. She’d really left. It was real. She was gone, and it was my fault.

I didn’t know how long I stood there, staring at the papers in my hand, still trying to wrap my head around it. My mind kept circling back to what I’d said earlier—the joke. It was supposed to be a joke. A stupid joke. But I didn’t realize how deeply it had cut her. How it had destroyed something that should’ve been sacred to both of us.

I felt like a damn fool. But I didn’t know how to fix it. I didn’t know if I could.

Without thinking, I grabbed the phone from the wall, dialing the number I knew all too well. My hands shook as I punched in the digits, my mind screaming for her to pick up. She had to. She had to hear me out.

The phone rang, each ring feeling like a punch in my gut. I tried to steady my breath. She’ll answer, she’ll answer, I thought, but the ringing only grew louder in my ear, more deafening.

And then... it stopped. A dial tone.

I hung up, staring at the receiver in my hand. I didn’t even know what I’d say to her. What could I even say? The words felt useless, like a pathetic excuse for what I’d done.

My chest tightened, and for the first time, the gravity of everything hit me.

I didn’t know when I had become so careless. I didn’t know when I started thinking it was okay to make jokes like that. To push her away. But now, standing in this empty house, I understood.

The tears came, unbidden, but I didn’t try to stop them. There was nothing left to say. I had everything I wanted, all the fame, the music, the tours... But I had never understood how much I needed her—how much I loved her—until it was too late.

And now? Now I was alone. A fool, sitting in a house filled with echoes of things I could never get back.

I looked back at the divorce papers, the words dancing in front of me, almost mocking me. How could I have been so stupid?

I picked up the phone again, but I didn’t dial. I couldn’t. She wasn’t going to pick up. She was gone, and I had no idea if she’d ever come back.

#metallica #metallica oneshot #metallica fanfiction #metallica angst #kirk hammett x reader #kirk hammett one shot #kirk hammett imagines #kirk hammett x you #kirk hammett #angst #kirk hammett angst #reqs open #nausicaamusiclover20

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milliesfishes · 16 hours ago

Text

౨ৎ꣑ৎThe Road Not Taken౨ৎ꣑ৎ

꣑ৎ"There's an ache in you put there by the ache in me."꣑ৎ

౨ৎ꣑ৎ12 Days of Christmas Masterlist౨ৎ꣑ৎ [fem reader] contains: mental illness pairing: fem reader x alex nilsen summary: alex was your first real love and your first real heartbreak. so why have your parents invited him to their holiday party? author’s note: so...this was very hard for me to write for some reason, and I'm still not 100% about it but it is done and here and I hope it is good Spotify Playlist

The journey from the airport was a nostalgic trick.

Every road, every business, every traffic light was tainted by the past's glow. You weren't sure if you should stare into it or turn away. Your parents chatted excitedly in the front seats while you sat staring out the window, feeling as though you were universes away from them.

The skies were blue, the fresh layer of snow trampled by footprints on the sidewalk and torn to slush on the roads, turning grey as tires rolled through it. People out walking were bundled in puffy coats, woolen hats covering their ears as they chattered, excitedly based on their expressions. Tinsel candy canes and bells interwoven with string lights decorated the street posts, the city's attempt at being festive. You smiled a bit at the sight.

"Camille made it down yesterday," your mother said, stretching and tilting her head back to look at you. "She and John are staying at a hotel so you can have your old bedroom."

"Is there something wrong with the guest room?" you asked absentmindedly, tilting your forehead so it was pressed against the cool glass, a welcome relief from the air blasting you turned up to the highest setting.

"No," your father said simply, and you shrugged, adjusting the neck of your sweater. You supposed if you had a fiancé you wouldn't want to sleep in your childhood home either.

As the car pulled into your street, you lifted your head, rubbing at the smudge your forehead left. The house you grew up in looked the same as always, down to the usual holiday decorations. You could practically see your father standing on the ladder, hooking the lights to the roof while your mother nervously held the ladder, yelling at him not to fall like Clark Griswold in Christmas Vacation.

You went to unload your bags but your father insisted, making you feel more like a guest than you'd like. As you carefully made your way up the steps, avoiding ice patches, you paused as your mother grabbed your elbow, pulling you close. "I wanted to tell you...Camille and John aren't the only ones we've invited for Christmas."

"Oh?" You began to sort through your mind who else they could have brought over. Your aunt, maybe, from California? She loved a palm tree covered in lights more than anything, so you weren't sure why she'd come all the way to the Midwest for Christmas. Even so, you felt a twinge of excitement at the thought. She was sure to diffuse any possible tension that came with family in close quarters.

Turning around, you saw a vaguely familiar car parked in the far part driveway that you hadn't noticed before. Your aunt would have flown first class to Ohio, but she'd grown up here, so maybe she'd borrowed an old friend's vehicle? Thinking of how smooth and charming she was, you supposed anything was possible.

"It'll be nice," you decided, looking at your mother. "To have someone else here."

"It will!" She patted your arm, beginning to walk with you up the porch steps again. "This is part of why your sister couldn't take the guest bedroom. We wanted it available. And she had no objections."

"I'm sure she didn't," you commented. John was a soon-to-be heart surgeon from a wealthy family. You were sure he and Camille were staying in the nicest place in town. Again, not that you could blame them.

Opening the door, you stepped inside and slipped off your shoes, inhaling the scent of the peppermint candle your mother always burned for the duration of the month. The smell comforted you, and a barrage of memories dragged over you like a tidal wave, You pushed the bad ones down and sorted through the montage of good. Hot chocolate and snowball fights and knitted scarves and pink wrapping paper.

Wandering toward the kitchen, you daydreamt of a hot tea after your long journey, the perfect remedy to whatever stress you'd brought with you from home. In your experience, there was no problem a hot drink couldn't fix. Not that being home was a problem but...oh well. You hummed as you opened the cabinet, turning around, your eyes widening.

The mug slipped from your hands, and you barely registered the distinct sound of a thousand tiny pieces separating themselves from one, bouncing on the floor around your feet and creeping into cracks and under places out of reach. All you could do was stare straight ahead.

Because Alex Nilsen was sitting in front of you, looking like he'd seen a ghost even though he was in your parents' house.

Holidays with your family came in a set of traditions, like Russian nesting dolls. One thing led to another until the famous party at the end on Christmas Eve. It was a classy affair, long upheld by your parents since before you and Camille were born. Other happenings were developed and kept over the years, creating the sequence you could see so clearly in your mind.

And it was all about to be dismantled by a puppy-eyed new addition.

"Ed's going to be with David for a few weeks," your mother had said, trying to soothe you in the living room after the incident. "And poor Alex couldn't leave with the end of the school term. The Nilsens have been to their fair share of Christmas activities with us before-"

"But why isn't he at his own place?" you whispered, eyes darting to the living room entrance. "He lives close, doesn't he?"

"His apartment flooded," she explained, and you nodded once, biting your cheek. Of course it did. "So we offered for him to come stay here for now, since he's going to be with us so often for the next bit anyways."

"Right." You nodded, trying to remain calm. "Okay. Fine. This is fine."

"We thought you'd be happy about it." Your mother frowned, touching your elbow. "You used to be so close..."

"Yes. Yeah." You interjected, folding your arms over yourself. Push it down. Push it down. "It's fine. It'll be great. It was nice of you to invite him."

You hadn't told many people what happened. Maybe if your parents had known, they wouldn't have asked him over. They still would, you thought bitterly as you unpacked your things that night. You couldn't stop thinking about the unexpected houseguest sleeping down the hall. Was he thinking about you?

The thoughts were overwhelming. They plagued you even as you tried to sleep, tossing and turning in your time capsule of a room. You were turned to the side, facing away from your old bulletin board. The pictures hadn't been replaced since your senior year of high school, and you could feel their eyes on you even in the dark.

You didn't mean to sleep late, but it was past noon when you woke up, eyes still heavy. Lying in bed, one arm flung over your head, you strained your ears for the sounds of the house, but found none. It was quiet, a fairly unusual occurrence.

Pulling on a too-big sweatshirt and leggings, you trudged downstairs, pulling your hair back on the way. Alex was in the kitchen, and you gave him a half smile, opening the cabinet. You were determined to make a cup of tea without dropping the mug this time.

"Your parents went to lunch with Camille and John," he said behind you, tone light. "They'll all be back later."

"I see," you said casually, setting your mug in the microwave and pressing a few buttons. Turning, you found Alex with his laptop open on the table, blinking up at you.

Time is a funny thing. It seems to lengthen things, suggest change, but you could have sworn nothing about him did. If he was a map, you could have drawn him from memory and not one bit would be different. Hair, eyes, hands, nose, mouth. You didn't know if he felt the same.

He cleared his throat, leaning back in his seat. You tilted yourself back, trying not to slide in your fuzzy socks on the floor. "You're teaching here?"

"Yeah," he said, nodding once. "I like it. Same high school we went to."

A tiny smile quirked your lips up. Of course. You knew from your mother, but you had wanted to hear it from him. That he'd stayed.

Alex drummed his fingers on the table, waiting until after the microwave went off and you took the mug out to ask, "You're in Seattle now?"

"I am." You adjusted the string of your tea bag so you didn't have to look at him. "I've been there for a couple of years."

"Ah." Another bout of silence had you itching to race out of the kitchen, but you held it together. Be an adult.

You continued, trying to keep it casual. "My parents were a little upset that I didn't move closer, but Camille's close, so it's okay." You swallowed. "Her fiance's a-"

"Heart surgeon. Yeah, your mom mentioned it," he said, and you bit the inside of your cheek. He was studying you in that intrinsic Alex way. "She seems really excited about it."

"Very," you responded, taking a sip of your tea and daring to meet his eyes. Once you did, you immediately regretted it. He had a way about him that felt as though he could see straight to your secrets. "He's been really good for her. For Camille."

"She's doing better?" Alex asked, still watching you.

You swallowed. "Yeah. She's doing a lot better."

"Good," he said, and you looked into your tea for a second, unsure what else to say. Just when you were about to leave, he continued. "Look...I'm sorry. For showing up like this. I thought you knew about it-"

"It's fine." You shook your head, meeting his eyes again, giving him a small smile. "Really. It is. It...everything was a long time ago."

"It was," he agreed, eyebrows furrowing. "But it still-"

"I'm going to shower," you interjected, turning and starting to leave. "I'll be back down later." Without waiting for an answer, you trailed away, heart pounding in your ears.

It was more evidence nothing had changed. He was supposed to be a stranger now, but he pulled you right back in. A force of magnetism, just how he'd always been. And just like before, he made your heart beat differently, like it had found its other half.

He had been that. Someone you loved. And a secret voice inside you said that you hadn't stopped. Was that why you could hardly look at him? Why even the sight of him sent you into a spiral, guilt flooding you like a dam burst open? The one person you wanted to tell about it was downstairs where you'd left him, after you'd brushed him off like a stranger.

You avoided him all afternoon until you couldn't anymore, when the tell-tale signs of your parents' voices wafted upstairs, keys rattling, footsteps loud. Reluctantly, you began to wander in their direction, taking your sweet time with every step. For some reason, you were nervous, tense about it. Camille's pretty laugh pierced the air, and you took a deep breath before walking in, keeping a smile on your face. You're happy to see her.

"Hi!" she squealed, pulling you into a hug. You returned it, relaxing a little. This is your sister. You love her. It's okay.

"Hi Cami," you muttered, and she beamed, stepping aside so you could greet her fiancé. You hugged him too- he was famously good at it. "Hi John."

"You look so pretty," she gushed, looking over you. Smiling tightly, you took in her soft sweater and designer earrings. "We've gotta go shopping sometime. I just found the cutest boutique in town that you'd love."

"Right," you said, stepping to the side, accidentally bumping Alex's shoulder.

"Look at you two," Camille giggled as John slid an arm around her. "It's just like in high school."

Alex and you shared a look, and you pursed your lips. He tried not to smile. "I guess it is."

"We got everything at the store for baking," John said, the tips of his fingers rubbing your sister's side. "I think we're making one of everything."

"That's how it goes," you smiled. Yours and Alex's shoulders were touching but neither of you made any move to separate.

Your mother called from the kitchen that the cookies weren't going to bake themselves, and you all trailed in, standing alert and waiting for your assignments. This was the first tradition in the holiday set- making enough cookies to feed a small nation. This kitchen had multiple ovens, and this was the main reason why. They were all preheating thanks to your mother, and she was separating ingredients into groups.

Predictably, you and Alex were put to work on one recipe, while your parents, John, and Camille tackled the other two. The kitchen was lively with both chatter and one of Frank Sinatra's Christmas albums in the background. Camille was telling a story about how she'd accidentally ordered a tree that was far too tall for her and John's living room, and your parents were laughing along across the counter with them.

It was easy to feel disconnected like this. They were all here, and you were off in the big city, the one who left. The outsider. Even though you'd been raised here just the same as your sister, it all felt like a story from somewhere else. Somehow you were an intruder, a guest, where she was at home.

Alex bumped your hip with his, and you nearly melted. He said it quietly, and you knew the others wouldn't be able to hear it. "Do you think he's ever going to let go of her?" You looked at John, who was cracking an egg with his hand on Camille's waist.

A giggle bubbled up out of your mouth, and suddenly it was as if the tension had never been there at all. You looked at Alex with bright eyes, heart fluttering a little. It was him. You'd forgotten your best friend somehow, and as you watched him start to laugh with you, you realized you never wanted to again.

"If he lets go it's cause he's kissing her," you whispered back, and he grinned.

"Should we try it?" When you raised your eyebrows, he flushed and clarified, "I meant baking with one hand."

You gave him a daring look. "We might have to scrape char off our cookies."

"Worth it," he said, and you giggled again, the pieces of you and him falling back into place.

"Let's do it," you decided, holding up your arm. As if reading your mind, he linked his own through it, and you turned back to the ingredients, trying to ignore the press of his elbow to yours.

Reaching for the vanilla, you set the appropriate teaspoon on the counter, methodically uncapping the bottle with your one free hand and pouring carefully, only spilling a few drops on the counter. Next to you, Alex was struggling with the sugar, dipping the measuring cup into the container and trying to delicately shake it so there wasn't too much on top.

"Having trouble?" you giggled, watching him spill for the third time.

"I'm not using my dominant hand," he pointed out, and you squeezed his forearm without thinking, eyes glued to his labored movements. "But I think I've got- there!" It wasn't perfect, but there wasn't as much overfill. He poured it in, and you did the same with your vanilla.

As you struggled to effectively add ingredients, laughing at the missteps, you felt lighter than you had in a long time. Being here with him somehow erased the worry that had plagued you lately, over being home and feeling like a stranger looking through a window to your family.

He'd been that way for you in college too. Always over to study or make dinner, your home away from home. You'd been so nervous about missing Linfield, but he had been everything good about it. It was glaring at you in neon letters. If what you had before was a dying flower, with a single bump of his hip it was nourished back to life.

Sliding your first sheet of cookies into the oven, one of each of your hands on either side, you found your mind bubbling up with a million things you wanted to say to him. You thought of all the times you'd picked up your phone to send a picture of something wild you saw in the city to him, every time all you'd wanted to do was call and hear his voice.

You'd missed him. More than you'd thought.

Alex set the timer and nudged you gently with his elbow. "We're each gonna need one oven mitt."

Your heart fluttered again. He smiled at you. On the other side of the counter, your parents, Camille, and John burst into laughter.

"Oh yeah, the power went out and when we opened the fridge, water came out."

"I really thought that snow was gonna make it to July."

Alex laughed, tilting his head and stretching his legs out on the couch, underneath your bent ones. You pulled the sleeves of your sweater over your hands, giggling. He set his mug down on the coffee table. "Do you get much snow in Seattle?"

"A bit," you said, tilting your head to rest on the couch. "Not near as much as here. Or maybe it feels different because it's in the city."

The tree was twinkling in the corner of the room, and the TV was on, playing your favorite Christmas movie. Ever since cookie night, you'd spent a lot of time together like this- binging Christmas movies and gorging on chocolate, conversation wandering aimlessly. If you weren't doing that, you were traipsing behind your family at whichever activity you were at. Sledding, shopping, caroling. You began to know him again.

At first it'd been a little more formal. You'd sat further apart, shoulders barely touching. It had only taken a day or so for you to fall back into your old habits. It felt as though all was right with the world after that.

You'd just gotten home from another tradition- driving around to see the lights. There hadn't been enough room in your parents' car for all of you, so you and Alex drove separately.

It turned out to be fun- the two of you laughing and watching the lights blink in time to a radio station. When you shivered, he had immediately started to fiddle with the vents, taking your hand in his and blowing warm air. The gesture made you smile.

The two of you had bailed long before everyone else, deciding to head home and warm up. You made peppermint hot chocolate and he found the movie, getting out blankets and turning the fireplace on.

When you came over with matching mugs, he'd held out his arm, the space against his chest inviting and warm. Without a second thought, you'd positioned yourself close, tucking yourself into him. He was always so cozy to lay against, several nights from college evidence.

"I've missed this," he mumbled, and you smiled at that, scratching your fingers on his chest.

"I've missed it too." You nuzzled into his shoulder and he smiled, chin on your head. "I wish I could take it with me."

He was quiet for a moment, fingers drawing patterns on your arm. You were about to ask something else when he said, "You were brave to do it, you know? To get out."

"I don't know if I really left," you confessed, snuggling closer. "I spend so much time worrying about everything here."

"Yeah, I get that," he said, hand finding the top of your head and smoothing your hair. His arm rested on your shoulder, bent at the elbow. "That's what made me stay."

"There's no shame in it," you murmured, eyes on the movie as you thought. "You wanted to take care of your dad. You're doing what you love."

"It feels like I missed out sometimes," he said quietly, thumb following the line of your hair. "Everything's good here. But that's the thing. It's good. I was worrying for no reason."

Sitting up slightly, you faced him, searching his eyes. You knew every corner of him, it felt like. His ends and beginnings. His love and hate. And so you were purposeful when you said, "You know it would be okay, right? If you were to leave?" When his lips parted, you amended, "Not that staying is bad. Not at all. You did what felt right for you, but..." you searched his eyes, reaching for his hand and squeezing it. "It would be okay if you didn't want to be here forever."

There was a moment where he was just watching you, eyes soft in a way you remembered so well. He half-smiled, patting your waist. "Yeah. Yeah, I know."

Satisfied, you smiled and settled back against him. He adjusted his arm around you, and your sense of deja vu heightened. How many times had you laid like this with him, talking for hours about one thing or another? Breathing in and focusing again on the movie, you said, "I thought I would end up here. After everything with Camille and seeing how fragile it all was. But I left." Something tightened in your chest. "That sounds selfish."

Alex shook his head, squeezing your knee. "It's not. It's really not."

"I mean... you know what happened," you murmured. "They needed me." Your mind was spiraling now, plummeting to the depths of something you weren't able to stop. The tightness in your chest was suffocating, and you pressed your palm there. "And I left." The panic settled, and you said the last part simply. That's all it was. Simple.

Alex just watched you, his eyes solemn. You bit the side of your cheek. The way he looked at you hadn't changed one bit. His soulful eyes could pry the same secrets out of you if he wanted them to.

But he didn't push, didn't question. He just squeezed your side, pulling you back into him and letting you rest. You closed your eyes, trying not to cry. He was familiar. He was home. Alex leaned down, lips finding your hair. You laced your fingers through his, and he pulled your hand up to rest over his heart.

The feeling blanketed you like a fresh coat of snow, and you knew he was swathed in it too by the way he rubbed up and down your spine.

Footsteps. It was like your body knew something was wrong before you did. Sitting up, you turned your head to the open door, pushing away your laptop as your mother rushed by. "Mom?"

Coats sliding against each other, hangers clicking. You stood up, padding into the hallway and saying it again. "Mom?"

She looked at you briefly, seeming harried. "What?"

"Is something wrong?" Your heart began to pound, every possible scenario running through your head. Sick, dying, accident-

"Your sister," she began, and it hit you like a punch to the stomach. "She's having an episode. John has a meeting at the hospital, and he called us to go be with her until he can get back."

"An episode?" Unwanted memories had awful timing. They had been piling up all week, and you could feel them beginning to overflow. "But...she..." you swallowed. "It's been years since she's-"

"No," your mother said curtly, finally finding the coat she was looking for and pulling it out, the hanger sticking out when she closed the door. "She has them still."

Another gut punch. You watched with wide eyes as she descended the stairs, frozen even as you began to follow her. Your instincts kicked in, and you began to panic. She was rifling through her purse, expression solemn. You searched for your shoes, still reeling from this news.

"I'll be back later," she said, turning to the door.

Your eyebrows shot up and you reached for her arm, meeting her eyes. "Mom, just give me a minute and I'll be ready-"

"No, you stay here," she said, shaking her head. "I don't think it'd be a good idea if you came." Your hand fell from her elbow.

"I can help," you said in a small voice.

She sighed and smiled softly, reaching out to pat your shoulder. "It's fine. We always figure it out when you aren't here."

Only once the door shut did you realize she was gone. The chasm of your mind was eating you alive, swallowing anything you'd felt before and replacing it with something you didn't want. You could feel tears rising in your eyes, a sob in your throat, and you sniffled, bringing a hand to your face.

It was all too similar. Too close to how it was before. You thought it was all gone now. Buried because the past was dead. Maybe it was more alive than you thought.

Glimpses flickered before your eyes. You closed them, feet rooted to the spot. She didn't mean to hurt you. You knew she didn't. But it still stung, itching at your skin and reminding you of what you'd forget if you could. Someone said your name. You shifted only to find Alex in your line of sight, his eyes soft.

You collided. His arms encircled you, chin falling to your hair. A miniscule sob hitched your breath and he flattened his cheek on your head. "It's okay, it's okay..."

"She...she's..." you choked. He shook his head, smoothing his hand up and down your back.

"It's not your fault," Alex whispered into your hair, carefully herding you to the couch. You thunked beside him, leaning in close as he rubbed your side and bunched his fingers over your leg. "You were trying to help."

"They don't need me," you murmured, fresh tears springing to your eyes.

Alex was quiet, smoothing his hand over your head and rubbing his thumb to your hair. You burrowed into him and he let you, lifting his arm so you could more easily reach his chest. Shame painted you suddenly, and you sat up, pulling your knees to your chest. "I'm sorry."

"Hey-" Alex reached for you again. "No, it's okay. Let me help you."

"I shouldn't be...I'm sorry, I'm-" you took in shuddering breaths, instincts telling you to get far away from this. To let it fade into the dust where it was only kicked up every now and then.

Alex kept hold of your hand, and you were drawn to the magnet of his eyes. He shook his head just slightly. "This is what happened last time."

Last time. When you'd gone home for winter break, excited to share Christmas with him now that you were officially in love. The wreckage that had met you when you came home. Your sister always in tears, an unsolvable issue newly tagging her. The way you'd tried to help after seeing the exhaustion in your parents' eyes. They'd needed you.

Doctor's appointments. Trips to the pharmacy. Staying with Camille for hours, watching over her and making sure she remained healthy and safe. Christmas came and went without any fanfare, the best gift that she was still here.

After a troubled semester, you'd come home to rest. Instead, the weight of someone's life fell into the palm of your hand. The hole in your chest only widened, and you felt as though you were drowning. Holding three people you loved up above the water with only your hands, lucky if you got a wisp of air. The place you knew as a comfort had morphed into something entirely different, something that said you couldn't afford to be taken care of anymore. It was your time to step up. Be strong.

You'd barely seen Alex. He offered to come help, offer any kind of support. But you'd insisted he stay with his family, burning yourself to the nub by the time January came around. That was when you ended it with him.

So many tears. A million untrodden paths surrounding you. You hadn't imagined anything without him, not since you were a kid. He'd always been there and you'd loved him more than anyone and you'd ruined it.

But it was too much. You were both young and he was bright and smart and he needed to fly high. Away from where you would drag him down.

He didn't grace your apartment after that to study together or bring over dinner. You didn't spend the night at his place watching movies or tucked in his arms anymore. Time separated you. It seemed as though the story was over.

But everything you'd swept under the rug was back, holding you tight as you sank back into his arms and shed another tidal wave of tears. Alex was quiet as each one seeped into his shirt, and you nearly melted into nothing when you felt his lips in your hair.

Despite it all, he was here. He was here, and maybe he always had been. Another bout of tears overwhelmed you when you realized it had never needed to be so hard. One call for him and he would have been there, right where you needed him.

"I'm sorry," you choked, fingers finding his shirt. "I...you..."

"Shh," Alex soothed, shaking his head and rubbing your back. "I know. It wasn't your fault."

"H-having two kids with these issues is too much. I couldn't-" you got out before he pressed your face into his chest, nose squishing into your head.

"It's gonna be okay," he murmured, and you heard the hitch in his voice. Despite it, Alex snuggled you close, lightly rubbing your shoulder. It was the first time in what felt like forever that you'd believed someone when they said it.

You were content being held by him, cozy in the cradle of his arms. He used to do this often when you would have panic attacks or a particularly bad day. His arms were always open, and you hadn't thought you'd get the luxury of needing them again.

Looking up at him, you almost told him so many things. Everything you'd never said was spilling from its sealed envelope, flooding your senses with only him. Alex held your gaze, a single word falling from his lips. "Baby-"

The front doorknob rattled, breaking the moment into dust. There were footsteps on the porch, accompanied by your parents' voices. If they saw you crying...

You sprang from Alex's arms, eyes wide as you looked at him. He frowned, reaching for you again, but before he could say anything you fled to your room. Maybe in an hour you'd wash your face and return downstairs, act as though all was well.

It didn't feel right, but it was all you had. Running away and putting on a face was the one part of your past that you still clung to.

Garlands twined around the banisters, red bows on the edge of everything. You dusted your hands of glitter, tucking a strand of hair away. It had taken practically all day, from the moment you rose from bed. From the kitchen wafted the smell of appetizers, Camille's voice echoing alongside your mother's.

Your mother had apologized when she returned home, but what happened still sat heavy in your heart. Camille was fine. Apparently, she always was.

It only confirmed that you wouldn't be saying anything of your own troubles.

Alex remained at your side, nary a word of what happened escaping his lips. You loved him for it, for doing the opposite of pretending nothing happened. It was silent reassurance that you loved him more than anything for. He stood at your side, as steady as what you'd always needed.

Baby. It played in your head more often than not. When the fluttering of your past feelings had beckoned you again, you'd shooed it away, but now you wondered of their return. The way he looked at you, like you were the center of the universe- it melted your heart and shook your being.

Did he feel the same? Was it just as time-stopping for him to look at you as it was for you to look at him?

He was a ghost in your mind, in your every thought. Indeed, he was there, lingering as you dressed for the holiday party. Your hair was done, earrings on, and you were about to don the dress you always wore for this event. Black knit, with tights.

There was a knock on the door, and then your sister entered, a shopping bag dangled from her fingers. She looked beautiful as always, wearing a silk green dress with her hair pulled up. You recognized her necklace: an engagement gift from John.

"Is anything wrong?" you jumped up, eyes wide and hands going to her elbows.

She smiled fondly. "No, nothing. Nothing at all. I just wanted to give you this." Holding out the shopping bag, Camille smiled delightedly when you took it, bouncing on her heels. "To wear tonight. You'll look so pretty."

"Thank you," you said quietly, smiling back. This wasn't unlike her- to surprise you with little gifts at any time during the year. But a whole new dress was something else.

Camille sat on your bed, taking your usual black dress and folding it in her lap. "I wanted to apologize. For not telling you anything." Her smile faded. "It's silly. You...you were there for me when I needed you. You deserved to know."

"Camille-" you sat beside her, eyes nearly welling up. Taking one of her hands, you whispered, "I only want you to be okay. This whole time I've been away, I've been worrying-"

"But you shouldn't," she cut in, squeezing your hand, her eyes soft. "I'm fine. Really. Every now and then there's a bad episode, but truly for the most part I'm okay. I have John and he keeps me stable. I guess I never said anything because I thought there was nothing to say."

It was like a weight off your shoulders. You could have burst into tears as you looked at her, glowing and happy in front of you. So far from the girl she'd been before. You weren't sure how you'd failed to see it before. In all your worry and swimming in the sea of memory, the present was lost on you with everything.

With Alex.

Camille gave you a fond look. "I do hope you'll wear the dress tonight. It'll be so pretty and..." She said her next words with a secret smile. "...and Alex will like it."

"Alex?" You lifted your head, nearly panicking. "He doesn't-"

"He does, trust me." Camille tapped her nose with a sweet grin. "Just wear the dress and see what happens."

Almost like a fairy, she was gone in an instant, in a whirl of dark green. You stared at the door after she left, only remembering the dress a few moments later. Plucking the tissue paper from the bag, you reached in and lifted a silky red dress with thin straps and a bow in the middle from the bottom.

It was so pretty- definitely something she would have picked out. But inexplicably you at the same time. You noticed she'd snipped off the price tag but left the brand name. Classic Camille.

It was perfect when you tried it on, soft and well fitted. Your jewelry even matched it well. You stared at yourself in the mirror, adjusting your hair accordingly and garnering the courage to step outside your room in it. All you could think of was Alex's reaction. If Camille was right...what if she was right?

Biting your lip, you played with your skirt for a moment, lost in thought. Had you really been so lost in mending the past to focus on the future? Alex was something you thought you'd left behind, but really...maybe he was standing right in front of you, ready to be your future.

Maybe all the hurt, the pain, the damage had led you to this.

Your heart raced, only one thing in your mind. It was him, always him. When he'd held you through your tears and smiled so softly when you leaned into his chest during a movie. When he'd stroked your hair and told you it was going to be okay. Fingers twitching, you yearned for him under them, for the warmth of his skin. He'd started to hold you again so eagerly, and you'd thought it the feelings of old friends.

What once was love lost was at your fingertips again. You weren't sure if you should hold tight or run the other way.

The party filled up quickly, the noise drifting into your room and beckoning you down. It was sure to be shoulder to shoulder, and you weren't sure if you would even see Alex for the evening. Cautiously, you descended the stairs, immediately greeted by a barrage of neighbors asking about life in another place.

You answered their questions with a smile, feeling as though you were giving the same answer over and over again. Yes, you liked your job. No, you weren't moving back. The weather is rainy, but lovely, and you are living in a nice place. Every year you marveled at how many people your parents knew, doubly at how that number seemed to grow by the month.

Finally, you were able to make your way to the refreshments, taking a glass of water and practically pouring it down your throat. Though it was chilly outside, the heat inside multiplied by the amount of people was nearly suffocating. You moved closer to the window, hoping the cool glass would give you enough strength to dive back into greeting the other guests.

Camille brushed by you with a wink and a squeeze to your arm. You smiled at her, gratitude filling you up all over again. For the sister you had. For the way she'd grown. You watched as she gravitated towards John, meeting his open arms and smiling as he brushed a kiss to her forehead, whispering something. She nodded, looking up at him so lovingly it could have stopped time. The way he looked back, you wouldn't be surprised if it did for him.

Turning back to the window, you were startled to see Alex on the porch bench, staring at the horizon. Maybe you weren't surprised he was playing the avoidance game at a crowded function, but it felt alarming for you to be able to see exactly who you wanted to at the very moment you wanted him.

Almost fairy-like, you glided outside, drawn to him in such a familiar way. You were numb to the bite in the air as you sat beside him, watching the sun sink into the hills like the space between two fingers. The sky was smeared with pink and orange and blue- a popsicle melting into itself.

When he looked at you, butterflies sprung from their cocoons in your stomach, flittering around and spelling words you couldn't read yet. His smile was soft. "You okay?"

"Yeah," you breathed, watching the misty evidence of your voice evaporate in the air. "Are you?"

Alex nodded, seeming to search you. You shivered in a way that had nothing to do with the cold, and his eyebrows lifted. "I..." he looked down at himself. "I'd give you my jacket if I had one."

“No need,” you said, still sweating from being inside. Alex disregarded your statement, sliding his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his sweater covered chest. He was always so warm. Even though you weren't in need of it, it was comforting, and so you stayed.

A moment passed between you, still and unmarked. The street was quiet save for the sounds of the party inside, and your eyes fell to the snow caked at the sides of the road, pushed up to the sidewalk by tires. Breathing out, you watched the motion puff in the frozen air.

Alex’s thumb drew circles on your shoulder. He exhaled softly. “I like your dress.”

“Thank you.” You smiled softly, leaning your cheek on his shoulder. “Camille gave it to me.”

Silence again. Then he asked, sounding a little hesitant. “She’s doing alright?”

“Yeah,” you breathed, eyes on your knees, fidgeting with your fingers. “Yeah. I guess this kind of thing happens a lot.”

“And they didn’t tell you?” You didn’t need to look up to know his brow was furrowed.

You shook your head slowly. “No.”

His thumb stopped its motion, and you risked a look up at him. For once, his eyes were not laser focused on you, instead burning a hole in the porch. Sitting up, you tried to meet his eyes. “But I understand why.”

“Why?” His head turned so quickly you were stunned, lost in his face for a moment.

Collecting yourself, you spoke slowly, trying to gather your thoughts. “They didn’t need me.” Alex started to say something, but you shook your head. “They didn’t need me. And that’s okay.”

He watched your eyes, expression soft. Your heart jumped with every glance, and now it was spurring you toward something you didn’t know if you would have confessed fifteen minutes ago. “Sometimes I think I’m tired of learning about myself. It’s like…I’m an adult. I should know these things.” Swallowing, you closed your eyes for a second, mind moving quicker than you could keep up with. “I thought I knew what had happened with Camille. I thought I knew what happened with you and me and I thought I knew how I felt but…” you trailed off for a moment, lips parting as you searched him. “Alex I don’t think I’ve ever stopped loving you.”

With your new discovery, you expected it to feel different. But he was the same Alex, the same heartbeat under you. With the way you'd tried to leave your past, maybe you'd made it all out to change. But when he said your name, it was just as intoxicating as before. There were some things you could leave behind, but others you found yourself determined to hold onto.

Alex said your name again, his voice nearly caressing the word. He looked so pretty in this light, with the sun waving goodbye and the moon turning its face. You clocked his hand on your knee, and then he was talking again. “When I moved back, I think a part of me expected it to be the way it was before. But it couldn’t have been.” You swore your heart stopped for a moment. “It didn’t have you. I never stopped loving you either.”

With a little gasp, you were reaching for him, and he pulled you closer somehow. A tear escaped your eye, and you leaned forward, throwing your arms around his neck. He held you for a long moment, and then you murmured into his chest, "I didn't know what I was missing so badly until I was with you again."

"Baby," he muttered, and you drew back, bringing your mouth to his in a swift motion. Alex held you to him through the chill, his hand at your back as he kissed you tenderly. It was home. He was not only your past, he was the future you'd dreamed of with only hazy figures that now seemed clearer.

"I ran away before and it was the wrong thing to do," you whispered, and he thumbed your cheek, nose nudging it. “I should have stayed-”

"And I stayed in all the wrong places when I should have stayed with you,” he said back, and you pressed your mouth to his again, a long kiss burning your insides in the most pleasant way. You leaned into him, suddenly cold, suddenly glad he was so warm.

Any minute now, you were expecting to wake up in a cold sweat, disturbed by what could have been and what you wished would happen. But he was still in front of you, chin resting on your head as he

"I don't care if we have to play phone tag every day forever once I go back home," you murmured, snug against his chest as he covered the bare portion of your back with his hand. "I'm not letting you go ever again."

His fingers froze, and you frowned, lifting your head. Alex's lips were parted, and he looked as though he were holding something back. Your brow knit, and you sat up, half in his lap. "What is it?" Worry flooded you, and suddenly you were worried you were about to wake up. A million possibilities flooded your mind, each one worse than the last.

Alex was frozen for a few seconds, and then his eyes found yours again. You braced yourself for whatever he was about to tell you, stiffening in his hold. But nothing could have prepared you for what he said.

"I'm moving at the end of the school year."

Your mind blanked, and "What?" fell out of your mouth before you could regulate it. He was serious- you could see it. Alex would never joke about something like this.

He lifted his hand to your cheek, brushing away a strand of hair, the action seeming to ground him. "The job offer was confirmed this morning. I've been trying to figure out a way to tell you ever since."

"Where is it?" You had a million other questions, but this one made it out first.

"Seattle."

For the millionth time since you came outside, you were speechless. His hand was still on your cheek, and you leaned into it, blinking up at him in utter disbelief. "You...you..."

"I've been thinking about leaving for months," he said quietly, eyes steady on you as he spoke. Though the sounds of Frank Sinatra's Christmas hits were still emanating from the house, your ears were tuned into the sound of his voice. "I started looking, doing remote interviews. All the while I was telling myself that I could say no even if I got it. And then an opening came up where I knew you lived and I thought maybe..."

Alex Nilsen had never been one to do something out of the blue. He was meticulous and you loved him for it. You knew how comfortable he was in your shared hometown, how much being near his family meant to him. Even the idea of him thinking about leaving was indictive of something deeper than you could imagine.

"I accepted it," he confirmed, thumb still rubbing your cheek. "I'll start in the fall."

Emotions were running wild as you stared at this man who'd just proved he'd move mountains for even a chance at being with you. You'd loved each other your entire lives, but even then, you didn't think it ran so pure.

"You're leaving everything behind," you whispered, reaching up to hold his wrist. "How do you know it's going to work out?"

"My dad is fine. My brothers are fine," Alex said, and the way he looked at you nearly made the world stop spinning. "And I've never been sure about anything in my life, but I'm sure about this."

"We've only just reconnected this week," you said softly. "I don't want you to do this just for me. What if you regret it someday?"

"It was something you said to me that pushed me to take the job," he said gently, his other hand rising to your face. "You said that it would be okay if I didn't want to be here forever. And it made me realize that maybe I never have." Taking in a breath, Alex leaned in and kissed you so softly that you nearly melted. "I've loved you as long as I've known you. I would regret it if I didn't do this."

Now you were sure you were dreaming. It was so unexpected but so utterly him. To be so sure.

The holidays would pass. You would unwrap presents with him on Christmas morning and kiss him on New Year's. You would part in tears at the airport but with the knowledge that you would see him again as soon as possible. The future laid ahead with bright lights, winking and telling you it was going to be okay. Your past and future merged together to create now and it was wonderful because it was with him.

Nostalgia had led you back home. To a love you had thought past, but you knew would stay.

Even as you left, you would stay.

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