late-to-the-party-99

[late-to-the-party-99]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push my heel into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.

[late-to-the-party-99]

I had a dream where the goat got frostbite and went home. She is cold and we need to warm her.

the little match girl x gävlebocken??

[late-to-the-party-99]

The situation is catastrophic now in Gaza after the heavy rain and winds this week. Did you know that families in Gaza are sheltered only by some pieces of nylon and that the cold is very severe? My family is suffering from severe cold.

There is no shelter to protect them from the bitter cold. Their help will save my family’s lives from starvation and may help them flee Gaza soon after the crossings are opened soon.

I know that most of you are desperate and bored of constantly asking us for help. But how many times do you see the world and governments that did not look at us with mercy?

Only people with compassionate hearts like you help and sympathize with the afflicted.

Your continued support saves the lives of all my families. Support link here

Save the life of the Balousha family here

Thank you all for your help in reblogging and thank you for your donations that give us hope I am grateful to all of you 💝

[late-to-the-party-99]

my friend siraj abudayeh (vetted on line 219), who i've posted about frequently, has been fundraising for his family's daily survival since june of this year. read more about him here, here, and here. follow him here: @siraj2024. he is a journalist who writes frequent updates about the situation in gaza, and it is always better to get the story from the source than filtered through a western lens.

as of about a week ago, he had raised over $90,000 CAD / $64,000 USD. he had withdrawn a portion of it to pay for various daily needs, medical care, and rent.

his fundraiser had been under investigation for a few weeks and the organizer, his cousin, even sent all of their government IDs to verify that they are real people.

despite this, gofundme deleted his fundraiser a week ago. he lost over $38,000 CAD ($27,000 USD). that is a monumental loss that would devastate anyone. but in gaza, it is the loss of a lifeline.

gofundme has a pattern of baselessly investigating and terminating fundraisers benefiting palestinians, often waiting until the campaign has reached the end of its goal to terminate it and refund all donors, leaving the refugees in the dust.

in the hopes of continuing to keep his family alive while unchecked capitalism and gang violence in gaza are on the rise, and in the midst of constant bombardment, displacement, and death, siraj has opened another gofundme. this fundraiser is in his sister's name, and is being organized by a trusted friend of his who lives abroad. we hope it will not be met with the same fate as the old one.

if you donated to siraj's old gofundme, please request a refund and re-send the donation to the new link here

thank you

[late-to-the-party-99]

oh so we're doing scooby doo crimes now

[late-to-the-party-99]

It's all fun and games and laughing at BookTok until you can't get on AO3 anymore, as someone who likes both romance and fanfic.

[late-to-the-party-99]

Families in Gaza are starving because of Israel blocking resources from entering. The consequences of childhood starvation are severe and deadly, both immediately and long term. Malnutrition weakens your immune system and leaves you more vulnerable to infectious diseases, and makes it harder for your body to fight the illness, so the chance of severe illness from common illnesses is higher. Even completely treatable illnesses can kill you when you’re starving and don’t have access to medical care. This combined with lack of clean and safe drinking water is extremely dangerous, especially for the children. Malnutrition stunts your growth, affects your development and heightens risk of serious health problems for the rest of your life. Being underweight and suffering from malnutrition makes you cold more easily, and more vulnerable to hypothermia.

Can you imagine as a parent having to witness your child suffering like this? Fearing for your children’s lives from what would usually be a relatively minor illness? Hearing them cry from hunger because the occupation is starving them? This is every parents worst nightmare, but for Ahed this is reality.

Ahed has three beautiful young daughters under 10 years old. 9 year old Fatima “the closest to (Ahed’s) heart and my little one”, 6 year old Iman “the friendly, kind, and loving child who is loved by everyone” and little Nour, who is only one year old and has barely got to experience peace in her short life.

He campaigns every day to get attention for his campaign to feed them and keep them warm and hopefully evacuate when the border opens. We have the power to help Ahed and his little children survive this. Food prices in Gaza are extremely high and it’s difficult to even get water. Ahed and his family do not have adequate shelter from the cold. Donations can help him buy food and clothing and blankets for his children to keep them warm in the winter They’re already suffering so much from the sounds of bombs and repeated displacements, starvation and infectious diseases is another cruel consequence of the occupations genocide in Gaza.

I know he is scared and exhausted from asking for help for this, but he keeps going because his children are his whole world, and like any parent he would do anything to save them. This is his hope. I believe it’s our job, as the people who support and care about palestinians lives, to make sure the people who reach out for help know that the world hasn’t forgotten them. Please show Ahed that the compassionate people of the world will help him

they only have €7,153 raised out of the 40,000 goal. Anything you send will help a lot ❤️

DONATE HERE + VETTING (#229 on the spreadsheet)

@vampiricvenus @appsa @heritageposts @nabulsi @dirhwangdaseul @tamamita @butchniqabi @autisticmudkip @finalgirlabigailhobbs @sawasawako @khanger @neechees @loumandivorce @cuntylouis @jdon @dlxxv-vetted-donations @beserkerjewel @handweavers @socalgal @anneemay @pikslasrce @deepspaceboytoy

[late-to-the-party-99]

just overheard my wife spelling something on the phone and i shit you not saying the words “E as in Eeyore” i am on my hands and knees wailing screaming crying pleading and begging people to learn the NATO phonetic alphabet

[late-to-the-party-99]

[late-to-the-party-99]

As is so frequently the case im also thinking about werewolves who work in healthcare. Paramedic uniform with MEDICAL ALERT SERVICE DOG on the back.

[late-to-the-party-99]

Our first victory against trump!

Time to start celebrating ALL the small wins, because EVERY win means a lot, and every win helps us fight for the next one!

[late-to-the-party-99]

a lot of the people you guys are calling narcissists could easily be replaced with the word “asshole”

[late-to-the-party-99]

look at my baby LOOK AT HER

[late-to-the-party-99]

Mina: "Alright, everyone pinkie swear right now to put Vampire Me down if I hop the line between death and undeath."

Van Helsing and the Suitor Squad: "Depressing, but sure, absolutely."

Jonathan:

Mina: "...Jonathan?"

Jonathan: "Yes?"

Mina: "Will you promise to slay me if I get vampire'd?"

Jonathan: "Mina, I will not lie to you."

Jonathan:

Mina: "Jonathan. I need you to look me in the eye and promise to murder me martyr-style if I get too undead."

Jonathan: "Fine. I can promise to kill."

Mina: "Me? Vampire me?"

Jonathan, making unbroken eye contact with the four guys who just promised to behead and impale his wife if she stops being human enough: "I guarantee there will be killing involved if Vampire You happens."

[late-to-the-party-99]

I’m not even exaggerating I literally think about the anonymous person who donated €1,000 to Nader’s campaign every single day. i’ll be at work making a cocktail and suddenly remember the person who donated €1,000 to his campaign to save his family. idk who you are but I love you thank you

while I’m on the topic you should donate to my friend Nader @abdalsalam1990’s campaign. He’s a 17 year old boy who’s trying to raise money for his family in gaza, including his father who needs cancer treatment and his 1 year old niece so they can survive the genocide in Gaza

DONATION LINK + VETTING (#4 on the spreadsheet)

[late-to-the-party-99]

It is 14 Nov 2024.

Start the party, the AO3 is turning 15 today!

Join our anniversary celebrations with our 15 day Trivia Game and Prompts challenge. Who knows – you might end up winning a cool prize!

How well do you really know AO3? It’s more than just a place for your favorite fanworks with its rich history, unique features and its commitment to preserve fan culture. Ready to test your AO3 knowledge? Join our 15-day AO3 Trivia Game!

Trivia Game – How It Works Starting today, we’ll post one trivia question a day for the next 15 days. Collect your answers and submit to the google form for that day — we’ll do a random draw from the highest scorers, and winners will get exclusive AO3 merch!

Prompts Challenge for Creators We’ve got something for all the creators, too! Every day, we’ll post a new prompt as part of the AO3 Prompts Challenge.

You don’t have to complete every prompt – just pick the ones that inspire you. When you’re ready, share your creations and add them to our AO3 anniversary collection and join the party!

Whether you’re here for the trivia, the prompts, or neither — thank you for being with us on our fifteenth anniversary. Happy 15th!