#it is so effing delicious

[circusdraw]

🕯️

[internet-rat]

Distracting him while he is reading - Aemond x wife!reader

NSFW below cut~

Just you soft domming him~

As you approached Aemond, the sight of him absorbed in his studies, his focus unwavering, struck a chord of admiration within you. His dedication, the way he hunched over scrolls and texts, his silver hair falling slightly over his intense gaze, added layers to the man you loved—both fierce warrior and keen scholar. Your presence behind him was a silent declaration of your affection, and your hands on his chest, a gentle but firm reminder of the intimacy you shared.

You leaned over, your lips brushing the top of his head in a tender, possessive gesture. The contact was light but symbolic, marking him as yours in a way that was intimate and personal. Your voice, teasing yet laced with dominance, broke the silence, rippling through the air with a warmth that contrasted the cool, scholarly atmosphere of the room.

"Look at you... so studious..."

The words were playful but carried with them an undercurrent of pride and affection. Aemond's reaction was immediate; he straightened slightly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, an indication of the pleasure your presence and recognition brought him. His hand reached up to cover yours, pressing it against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath your touch.

His voice, when he spoke, was content, deeply resonant with the layers of emotion your proximity evoked. "For the realm, my love, and for us. Knowledge is as much a weapon as a sword in the right hands." His words acknowledged the dual purpose of his studies, for the kingdom he might one day rule and the life he built with you.

Turning his chair slightly, he looked up at you, his lilac eye shining with a light that was reserved just for these moments, away from the eyes of the court. "But even the most devoted scholar needs a distraction... especially one as delightful as you." His finger traced a line up your arm, a tender gesture that spoke volumes of his deep affection and need for you.

The dynamic between you, the shift from your dominant tease to his studious demeanor, played out like a well-rehearsed dance, each knowing their role perfectly, each finding joy and strength in the balance you maintained.

Your teasing smile widened as you watched the reaction dance across Aemond's features, the edge of vulnerability and anticipation that only you could draw out with your command. The power of your gentle, dominant voice, coupled with the intimate familiarity of your actions, was an intoxicating blend that effortlessly recalibrated the atmosphere in the room.

"Keep reading..." you whispered, the directive clear, carrying an implicit challenge that stirred him deeper. It was a game of control, beautifully executed, where your dominance seamlessly intertwined with his submission, each act designed to heighten and play upon the layers of your unique bond.

With one hand, you delicately unbuttoned the top of his shirt, slipping inside to trace the lines of his chest. Your fingers danced lightly over his skin, exploring the familiar terrain with a touch that was both loving and calculated to elicit a specific response. The intimacy of the contact sent a shiver through him, a testament to the potency of your touch.

Meanwhile, your other hand ventured lower, deftly freeing his member from the confines of his clothing. The air of the room, previously filled with the musty scent of old books and ink, now pulsed with the more primal scent of arousal. Your fingers encircled him gently at first, then with firmer intent, beginning a slow, deliberate stroke that contrasted sharply with the scholarly stillness around you.

Aemond’s breath hitched, his eyes flickering under the strain of concentrating on the text before him. The dual sensations of your hands—one teasing his chest and the other coaxing his arousal—created a delicious tension within him. His grip on the scroll tightened slightly, a silent testament to the effort it took to obey your command to keep reading.

His voice, when he spoke, was strained but laced with a dark amusement at the game you played so skillfully. "Is this my reward for diligence, or a test of my focus, my queen?" he asked, the words a husky murmur that vibrated with the underlying thrill of your shared interplay.

"Why not both, pretty boy?" Your reply, playful yet laced with command, echoed in the quiet of the room, each word accentuating the dual nature of your actions—a reward mingled with a challenge. Your touch grew more intent, your hand moving rhythmically over his now slick member, enhancing each stroke with the natural lubrication of his arousal. The firm grip and calculated motions stirred him further into the depths of submission.

At the same time, your other hand kept caressing his chest, fingers finding a nipple and squeezing gently, adding layers of sensation that mingled pain with pleasure—a tactile whisper that contrasted sharply with the more overt stimulation elsewhere. Each squeeze was a punctuation, a reminder of your control and his surrender.

Leaning closer, your lips brushed against the sensitive skin of his neck, the kiss soft but possessing an underlying promise of more. The subtle intrusion of your teeth, nipping delicately at his flesh, drew a suppressed groan from him, a sound he struggled to contain beneath the guise of studious focus.

"Keep reading, sweetie," you whispered directly into his ear, your voice a soft command wrapped in velvet dominance. The words, tender yet unyielding, were a tether, holding him to the task even as your actions sought to pull him away into sensuous abandon.

Aemond's eyes fluttered, his focus visibly wavering as he attempted to process the text before him. Each word seemed to swim, blurring under the dual assault of pleasure and mild pain. His responses became more pronounced, a soft stutter or twitch here and there, signs of his unraveling under your expert touch.

His submission was beautiful, a delicate balance of maintaining his role even as he succumbed to the sensations you so skillfully provoked. His voice, when he next spoke, carried a tremor, a delightful indication of his internal struggle. "I—I am trying, my queen," he managed, the words tinged with a desperation that was both adorable and deeply satisfying.

This dance of dominance and submission, enacted within the quiet sanctum of Aemond’s study, was a testament to the profound connection and trust between you, a dialogue of desire spoken in touches and whispers, each moment building upon the last to create a tapestry of shared intimacy and power.

The playful torment you wrought upon Aemond—this blend of intellectual challenge and sensual overload—was exquisitely torturous. As your tongue trailed a slow, deliberate path along his neck, followed by a teasing nip that sent a sharp jolt of pleasure through him, his body tensed under the dual assault of sensation and the relentless pace of your hand.

You stroked him faster, the slick glide of your fingers coaxing him ever closer to the edge of release, yet you demanded his attention remain on the scholarly task at hand. Your voice, a sultry murmur beside his ear, was both a caress and a command, "Mhm~ What does that line there say about Aegon the Conqueror? Tell me, my sweet..."

The juxtaposition of his historical studies and the physical ecstasy you elicited was a wicked game, one that frayed the edges of his concentration. Aemond's eye darted towards the book, his gaze attempting to focus on the words that now danced mockingly before him. His voice, a breathy mixture of arousal and frustration, struggled for coherence. "It—it says that Aegon... he unified the kingdoms... through—ah, through power and—"

His words faltered, drowned out by the rising tide of pleasure that threatened to wash away all semblance of scholarly thought. The intensity of your touch, the sensual provocations you delivered, left little room for anything but the raw, primal need to give in to the sensations overwhelming him.

As you savored the intoxicating blend of his desperation and arousal, your kisses trailed along his neck, each a branding of possession and comfort. Your hand movements intensified, a relentless rhythm designed to push him beyond the brink of his restraint. He was beautifully unraveled, thoroughly under your control, and completely at the mercy of your touch.

Into the curve of his ear, your voice, soft yet laced with undeniable authority, coaxed him further towards release. "Such a good boy~ Do you want to cum?" The words, tender yet commanding, were all it took to breach the last of his defenses.

Aemond's response was a choked moan, his body tensing as he teetered on the edge of surrender. "Yes, please, my queen... I need to..." His plea was fervent, a raw admission of his need, underscored by the overwhelming desire to obey and relinquish all control to you.

Your grip tightened slightly, your pace quickening in answer to his desperate plea, guiding him lovingly yet firmly toward climax. It was a powerful affirmation of the trust and dynamic you shared, the unspoken promise that you would always provide what he needed most.

With the full weight of your command behind it, you quickened your strokes to a feverish pace, each movement precise and calculated to bring him to the pinnacle of pleasure. "Cum," you whispered, the word not just a permission but an order, delivered with a dominating tenderness that left no room for hesitation.

Aemond’s breath caught in his throat, a strangled sound of both desperation and relief. His body reacted instinctively to your command, muscle tension coiling tighter, his entire being focused on the brink of release. The intensity of your touch, the commanding sultry tone of your voice, and the overwhelming need to obey pushed him over the edge.

The climax, when it came, was shattering. Aemond cried out, his voice breaking with the raw intensity of his release. His body shuddered under your hands, waves of pleasure rolling through him in powerful surges as he gave himself over to the sensations you had drawn out of him.

As he trembled, you slowed your touches, gently easing him through the aftershocks of his profound release. Your presence, both commanding and nurturing, enveloped him, a reminder of the safety and care interwoven with the strict control you exerted. In this moment, Aemond was utterly yours, bound by the deep, undeniable connection you shared, underscored by the trust and surrender that defined your relationship.

As Aemond's breathing gradually steadied, you pulled him close into a tender embrace, giving him the comfort and security he needed after the intensity of his release. You guided his head to rest against your chest, allowing him the intimate solace of burying his face in the softness of your breasts. The warmth of your body enveloped him, a soothing balm to the raw vulnerability he had just experienced.

Gently, you kissed the top of his head, a gesture filled with affection and care. Each touch reinforced the safety and love that surrounded him when he was with you. In this quiet, protected space, free from the demands of his title and the expectations of the court, Aemond could simply be himself—loved and cherished.

"I love you so much, my darling," you whispered, your voice a soft melody that floated in the air around him. The simple, heartfelt declaration was more than just words; it was a reaffirmation of the deep, enduring bond you shared. It was your way of showing him that no matter how fierce the battles he faced outside these walls, within them, he was always your beloved, your pretty boy, deserving of all the love and care you could give.

Feeling the resonance of your words, Aemond sighed contentedly, the tension further melting away under your ministrations. His arms wrapped around you, holding on to you as if you were his anchor in a tumultuous sea. In this embrace, encircled by your strength and tenderness, Aemond found a profound sense of peace and belonging, his heart secure in the knowledge that he was truly loved.

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

First Day of School

Oh no, Roy Kent x Teacher!Reader twice in one day? I might have a new obsession...

Just a little blurb about their first meeting on the first day of school 🍎

Teach Me Tonight Masterlist

“Smile, Pheebs. I’m sending this to your mum.” Roy aimed his mobile to take a picture of his niece.

First day of school. A fucking nightmare, really. The sounds of kids shrieking as they embraced after summer holiday, teachers trying to corral people towards the correct classrooms, little ones sobbing, parents sobbing.

At least Phoebe was happy, all smiles in her uniform and pigtails. And that made the morning Roy would be spending fighting his way back out of the parking lot worth being the person on drop-off duty today.

“I could get one of the two of you if you like.”

Roy turned his head. You smiled at him, looking like the last bit of summer in your dress and white sneakers. He felt something in his stomach lurch and wondered if he looked as red as he felt.

You offered a small wave to his niece. “Phoebe, right? I’ll be your teacher this year.” You offered your name and a handshake to the girl; Roy liked the way you seemed to treat her like a tiny adult, rather than like a toddler, the way some teachers did. “And you’re her uncle Roy, right?”

He shook your extended hand, amazed by how soft it felt in his. “Yeah. That’s me.”

“Lovely to meet you.” You gestured towards the phone that he clutched like a life preserver. “How about that photo then?”

Roy handed it over and crouched down next to Phoebe, wrapping his arm around her, offering a real smile. You quickly snapped a couple of shots before handing back his phone.

“Hopefully there’s a couple of good ones in there,” you murmured, doing your best not to stare too hard at the football star.

He didn’t bother looking at them. “I’m sure there are.”

Realizing that you were, indeed, staring at Roy Kent, you cleared your throat. “Right. Well, I’ll let you say your goodbyes.” You turned to Phoebe, plastering on that teacher smile, the bright, friendly one that you’d practiced in the mirror that morning. “And I will see you in a bit.”

As you turned to speedwalk to your classroom so you could try to remember how to breathe before facing twenty-four eight-year-olds, you heard your name called in a deliciously gruff voice. When you glanced over your shoulder, Roy was looking at you.

He took a step closer to close the space between you. “If you need anything this year, let me know. I’d love to help.” He cleared his throat. “My sister works a lot, but I’m available. To help, I mean.” He shrugged. “I’ll be coaching the girls’ football team, but seriously. Fucking- shit, sorry- effing field trips or class parties. Whatever.” He pulled his wallet out and opened it, plucking out a business card; he made a mental note to thank Keeley for making him get some. “My email’s there. Phone number too. Anything you need at all.” He let his eyes drift briefly over your figure before settling back on your face. “Gimme a call.”

Suddenly trembling, you took the business card from him. “Oh. Wow. Thank you, er, Coach Kent.” Your smile felt too big, too annoying. “I’ll see you around.”

You spun around, desperate to get away from those eyes and that leather jacket. Your fingertips tingled when you heard that deep voice hum, “Looking forward to it.”

It was going to be a long year.

[bts-siwan]

www.jiwancutemoments.com

intro : hello losers i’m back after a year long hiatus 💀 i’ve been catching up on content recently and have been bombarded with so many jiwan moments that i finally decided it was time to make this compilation

intro : jiwan are literally my roman empire so without further ado let’s get into the video!

clip one : run bts ep.71 (behind)

“should i eat one?” *jm eyeing the pork belly + looking back at the other members who are busy with something else*

*heavy contemplation* “no i need to maintain my diet” *really wants to eat it tho*

*cue siwan entering to save the day* “everything okay?” *always the heavily concerned hyung as he takes a seat next to jm* *now cue jm pretending to be fine*

*mindreader sw knows what’s up* “you want to eat the pork belly?” *he can see the way jm’s mouth is frothing tbh* “why don’t you just eat it then?”

*jm shaking his head* “i have to maintain my diet” *sw literally spacing out for a moment before turning to the cameraman*

“i think camera-nim disagrees. isn’t this samgyeop-sal so delicious?” *picking up some with chopsticks* “camera-nim and i will keep it a secret. you can have one”

*proceeds to feed him like half the plate*

commentary : ladies get yourself a man who dotes on you like siwan does jimin because ain’t no way he’s looking at anyone else like he is this man

clip two : run bts ep.12

*literally in the midst of filming the police skit* *jm is being interrogated by officer sw*

“you don’t know what you’re in for? are you trying to play a joke on me?” *actor sw has been on a role so far but jm is ready to pull out the big guns*

*pushing down sw’s laptop screen to see him better* “ah, officer~ but is it really my fault? i don’t know why i’m here” *pouting + seduction charm*

*sw is big gulping rn* *they so caught it on camera + sw’s pursed lips trying to stay in character* “y-your charms don’t work on me” *avoiding eye contact to the max* “look into the camera with those eyes”

*jm giggling bc he can see he’s affecting sw but follows his instructions anyway* “like this?” *posing at the camera cutely + sw making the slightest eye contact and immediately melting from within*

*sw’s junior officer tae puts a hand on his shoulder* “should i take it from here? you seem like you need some rest, hyung-nim” *calling him out but trying to save him at the same time*

*sw leaves as jm blows him one last kiss + a flirty wave*

commentary : your honour he malfunctioned in 4K LMAO but honestly who can blame him 😭

clip three : jimin’s injury

commentary : so for context jimin needed a temporary arm sling due to sustaining an injury during practice. some of the members were eating in another room

*staff letting the few members present know about jimin’s injury* *cue sw’s face immediately changing from laidback to sitting upright*

“is he all right? is jimin okay?” *hobi also concerned as jm walks into the room* *sw struggling to conceal his emotions*

“can you not move it at all? does it hurt a lot?” *jm is explaining the situation but sw still feels anxious and worried*

“jimin-ah, come sit here” *sw already making space + standing up to help jm* *jm can’t help but smile bc sw always gets like this over minor issues* “you’re cute”

*moody sw who scolds jm for getting hurt but coddling him to death*

commentary : no because tell me why this man is so precious HE LOOKED LIKE HE WAS GONNA CRY OVER JIMIN’S INJURY. protect this man at all costs.

clip four : run bts ep.145

*jm tugging on sw’s sleeve for attention as he attempts to read a hint* *confused but curious hyung* “how do i look?” *asking for ops on his cute lil pink hanbok*

*sw blinks as jm does a twirl* *proceeds to grab a flower from the bush behind jm before offering it to him and leaving without another word lmao*

*startled jm at the camera* “i think he just helped me with my mission without realising”

commentary : so tsundere of him tbh 😍😍😍 ik jimin loves a little play of hard to get (also he looked so effing cute in his hanbok like the ring is ready, the dress is ready, the altar is there)

clip five : run bts ep.83 (behind)

*baby jm who seems to be having too much fun in the pool and doesn’t wanna get out* *swimming cutely rn*

“ah, get out already! we need to film” “this guy, seriously…” *older hyungs are complaining*

“look at this!” *jm continues to swim cutely like a puppy* *nj is so done even tho he finds it cute too*

“wanie, get him out” *literally the only man for the job* *sw decides to enter the pool to collect jm but jm sees it coming*

*quickly attempting to neutralise the threat by splashing water on sw* *sw wiping the water from his face before dipping beneath the water fully*

*jm is startled when sw comes up from underneath him* *jm is now sat upon sw’s shoulders in the pool*

“yah… he’s coming out in style!” “those shoulders are no joke…” “me next! me next!”

commentary : one thing both jimin and i have in common is our love for siwan’s strength because he did not need to do all that and yet here we are

commentary : not that i’m complaining 😏

clip six : run bts ep.75 (behind)

*jm is tired from a long day of shooting* *still not time to go home yet*

“we might have to film yoongi’s again. i wanna try it with a different angle” *lots of retakes bc bangtan are perfectionists* *jm is honestly half asleep in his pjs*

*director sw is not too bothered as he gives jin a thumbs up + easily guides jm to settle his head against sw’s shoulder*

*moments later and sw has requested for a blanket for jm too after quieting everyone else down* “i think we should stop it here for now” *totally not bc jm is asleep or anything*

commentary : they are honestly so kdrama boyfriends coded it’s not even funny y’all

clip seven : jimin’s cheeks

*jm gauging his face as the cameraman records him* *hands on cheeks* “are they red? can you see it?” *feeling shy rn*

*trying to get another look but quickly covers his cheeks again* “ah, is it really bad?” *cue jm going on a manhunt to ask another member’s opinion*

*ends up locating sw by the food table filling his plate* *walking up to him + tugging the bottom of his sweater*

*sw mid-snack as he turns to look at jm and sees the camera* *full cheeks laughing shyly before turning his attention back to jm after he’s done eating* “mm?”

“do my cheeks look red?” *asking with a pout* *sw instinctively lifts his hand to cup jm’s cheek + caresses it with the pad of his thumb* “a little. why, did you drink?”

*entranced jm cosying up to sw’s affection immediately lol* “i think it might’ve been the noodles. does it look bad?” “it’s cute. you always look cute.” *continues to caress jm’s cheek*

“YAH STOP FLIRTING!” *hobi in the bg*

commentary : WHAT WAS THE REASON?? WHAT WAS THE REASON??? hobi is all of us actually

clip eight : jimin’s cheeks pt.2 (because siwan is obsessed with them)

*in the midst of an interview* “siwan-ssi, what about you? we’ve heard you have a very close bond with jimin-ssi. can you tell us what you like about him?”

*shy sw hour as he smiles + avoids eye contact* *cheeky jm can’t wait to hear his answer* “hyung-nim loves all of me right~?” *biggest tease on the planet*

*other members are also enjoying this way too much* “they’re always together.” “yah, he’s blushing. look at him.”

*sw waving them off + trying to collect himself* “no, no. ah,” *looking over at jm for a moment* *finding it difficult to maintain eye contact but he’s smiling bashfully* “i think… i like his cheeks. they’re chubby and squishable so i like to play with them.”

*an innocent comment is quickly taken out of context* “WHAT?!” “siwan-ssi, you play with jimin’s cheeks?” *nj being dirty minded* *sw quick to defend himself and waving frantically* “no! no, i meant i like to- ah, forget it. you guys need to get yourselves checked.” *tsking*

*jm is honestly living for this tbh* *interviewer is clearly a big jiwan fan as he asks his next question after everyone has calmed down* “would you be able to give jimin-ssi a kiss on the cheek for fans?”

*cue a ‘disgruntled’ sw placing a kiss on jm’s cheek + jm’s hand instinctively reaching up to touch the area he was kissed with a giggly blush*

commentary : i would actually kill for fetus jiwan because just look at how pure they are here. siwan was so shy :(( i love them so much my lil beans

conclusion : guys i could seriously go on forever with the amount of jiwan content there is out there but i needed to end the video at some point <\3 i hope everyone enjoyed jiwan’s cute little moments as much as i did and i will see you guys in the next one, bye bye !!

TAGLIST

@pandorasword , @ateezsora , @anqelws , @kaitieskidmore97 , @vizianary

[respectthepetty]

as a major fan of your Thai BL list, I shall now ask about your Korean BLs! 🤩

I think I can actually trust you 😌😌

Anon Two, thanks for tag-teaming this with the previous Anon, so y'all could squeeze another list out of me. To recap, I've already given y'all:

Top GMMTV Actors

Top GMMTV Pairs

Top Five Taiwanese BLs

Top Ten Thai BLs

So what's one more? @lachikapercebe also asked for this list, but requested only my top five; however, since I already started the list without a specific target number from Anon Two, and Korea gives some of the best confessions in the genre mixed with color coding, I can't reduce the list now. It's too late for me to trim it. I am attached to each pick. They are my children, and I can't desert them, so . . .

Top Ten Korean BLs

Rising Star - Love Tractor

I don't trust Korean BLs. A majority are too short, so either the beginning is confusing or the ending is flat, but unless Love Tractor completely fumbles the second half (which it could because . . . Korea), this will be a yearly top and even possibly an overall top for its country and all BLs. It's that good to me. It's hitting all the normal K-drama notes while being oh-so-very-gay. And as a rural queer, it pleases my soul to see country life presented in such a kind and beautiful way.

#10 - Roommates of Poongduck 304

Mr. Petty Peter Jae Yoon independently earned a spot on this list. Ho Joon was a jerk and a true nemesis when the show began, but Jae Yoon started effing up Ho Joon's home life the more Ho Joon kept messing up his work life, so it was a beautiful tit-for-tat the first few episodes; then, Ho Joon lost focus and wanted a consensual workplace relationship. His father appreciating his new attitude and rejection of his ladies' man ways was a delight to witness since we all knew it was due to him falling in love with a man. And oh boy did he fall in love. That entire conversation of Jae Yoon saying it's impossible for two men to fall in love, only for Ho Joon to respond that it was impossible for him NOT to fall in love with Jae Yoon is a top tier confession for me.

#9 - Blueming

I have issues with Blueming solely due to its ending because I was just as pissed as Siwon was at Daun. Maybe even more so. All was going well; then, the end of episode nine pulled a Thai episode eleven, and DAUN TOLD HIS MOM TO PICK THE FILM! I understand men in love do dumb shit, but that was a bold choice, and a very, very, VERY wrong one. As the youths say, "that was not the move." However, the cinematography was delicious like their silhouettes with that bewitching blue backdrop and their first kiss was realistic. Pretty kisses are cool and all, but the awkwardness of desperately wanting someone yet not knowing how to physically perform is true to many people's experiences and should be spotlighted more.

#8 - Choco Milk Shake

I only trust two entities with poly: Thai director Jojo, and Korea's Strongberry, so the fact that Strongberry did not give me poly when it was so clearly laid out is the reason this show isn't in the top three. It had a supernatural plot, great characters who were all well cast, and a happy ending, so WHY NOT POLY? I don't care if the rest of the world is ready or not. I'M READY! We are getting a second season, so if I if get a kiss AND a vocal acknowledgement of Milk and Choco's love for each other when their love for Jung Woo was well established in season one, this will cement its place in my heart and on this list forever.

#7 - Light on Me

Sixteen episodes with most running about thirty minutes?! A love triangle where I could root for both love interests?! A straight boy who earned his spot at the queer table?! Light on Me had it all and then some! Looking at my various lists, it's clear I am not fond of high school dramas, yet I was seated twice a week to see how our neurodivergent baby boy, Tae Kyung, fared that week in his adventure through social norms and annoyances, like trying to help a fellow peer by giving him back the dildo he dropped in the hallway, but getting yelled at instead. I was not Team Shin Woo until that cellphone confession, and then all I could see was Shin Woo. I'm telling y'all, Korea understands how to confess its unwavering love. Gets me every time!

#6 - The New Employee

As the BL fandom continues to evolve and expand, we will get more BLs geared toward adults and workplace dramas, but hopefully, they take the approach that The New Employee (and Thailand's Step by Step) did and make the work environment part of the drama. Working adults, sadly, spend a majority of their time at work, so finding love at one's job seems reasonable, but if anyone has experienced coworkers breaking up, that shit can get rough, real quick. So having to navigate a relationship with someone you work with, especially someone of a higher authority position, ON TOP OF being queer can be stressful, and is something I want more BLs to explore. There are levels to being out, and for most queers, being out at the job is not a possibility, but finding love anywhere is always a possibility, particularly for our late 20-something virgins.

#5 - Semantic Error

The fact that this came out in 2022 is beyond my understanding only because it seems like I have appreciated it for at least five years. This has become a comfort watch when it first started as a "nothing else is on" watch. I have never cared so much about honorifics in my life as I did watching the slow transition of Sang Woo’s emotional walls crumbling under Jae Young’s affection through language. As much as I hated the idea of forced collaboration (aka group projects), seeing the way Jae Young squirmed his way into Sang Woo’s every waking thought and had him seeing red to the point that Sang Woo was saving screenshots of Jae Young’s Instagram posts was a delight and one of the major reasons I keep returning to it. But the layered confession about Sang Woo finding Jae Young, a man, attractive which lead to Jae Young's countdown kiss is, once again, the reason Korean BLs win in the confession department.

#4 - The Eighth Sense

I'm still really bothered by some of the discourse that came out of this show about how it was better than everything else ever because the comments were reductive about the BL genre, yet some of the comments resonated with elements I loved about the series, mainly its look at mental health and trauma. It was a beautiful show, but the message it carried throughout about depression being isolating and taking the light out of people's lives hit me in a way that if this was the Thai list, I would have left it off because it felt like a personal attack. Wanting someone to save you from yourself, but terrified to drag them down with you was not the plot I wanted, but was the story a lot of us needed to see. We also needed to witness someone actively going to therapy. Let's continue this trend!

#3 - Our Dating Sim

"Have you been well . . . without me?" - Put this on my tombstone because I died and came back to life from this utterance alone. Episode four was already killing me, but once Eddy snapped and allowed all his emotions to spill out in front of Ian, the show came for all my past lives and future ones too. Deceased. I wrote this about the show while it was airing, but no other show has done the leave-him-because-I-love-him plot as well as Our Dating Sim. This show nailed it then made a billboard to boast about it because it was perfection. Ian's reasons for leaving were valid, but the show really shined by allowing Eddy to voice his anger at being ghosted for seven years by his best friend and someone he loved. It even touched on the trust issues that stem from someone saying he loves you only to abandon you. Just know I have NOT been well since this ended.

#2 - To My Star 1 & 2

The first season was almost perfect. The cat/dog energy, the "If it's hard for you, I'll come to you" confession, and the budding kink of Ji Woo kissing a tiny bloody wound on Seo Joon all served in a quick nine episodes gave me everything I needed, so I thought this would be my #1 the second season two was announced, but understand the sequel hurt me. The foundation was great: everyone came back, it had more episodes, the episodes were longer, and the conflict always existed in the first series, so a last-minute twist wasn’t invented. Yet, every single episode hurt. Much like I Told Sunset About You, it was realistic to the point that I expected it to end with pain. If season two was its own show and not a sequel to one of my favorites, it would have ranked higher because it was beautiful, but knowing the magic the first series possessed, and having to be a bystander to all the angst for EVERY EPISODE WITH NO RELIEF was tough. But, somehow, here I am secretly hoping we get blessed with a third series. That’s the power of the Star.

#1 - Long Time No See

Small flex - I've been involved with an international queer film festival for over a decade. I've seen easily over 1,000 pieces of queer media including feature films, short films, and documentaries through the screening process, which only adds to my always growing personal watched list. Long Time No See was one of those films. It didn't make it into the festival because I think it was already available on a streaming platform (maybe?), but it was a top for me then, and it's still a top for me now. Is it a BL? Not really. Is it a show? No, it's more like a two-part movie. So why am I allowing it to reign at the top of this list? BECAUSE IT IS AMAZING! In 2017, we were still getting the bury your gays trope shoved down our throats, so a film about two assassins getting a happy ending was a miracle. I read comments from some who did not like the portrayal of "toxic love" but were probably fine with Mr. and Mrs. Smith beating each other with cooking utensils for all the world's children to see, so God forbid, the queers do anything like want to kill AND fuck each other. Niña, Pinta, and Santa María, LET THE GAYS DO CRIMES TOO! Oh, and it's Strongberry, so because of this film - In Strongberry I trust.

[firstkanaphans]

i have this habit of reading ao3 before i sleep or i just won't get sleep (yeah i am a teenager with effed up sleep habits)

and i realised that there are not enough sickfics in the firstkhao fandom 😭😭 like there are a few under akkaye but nothing under sandray (i don't remember if there is anything under alangaipa cause there is probably nothing)

so obviously i have a request to my fav writer which is PLEASE GIVE ME SICKFICS DJDNDNNSJDND

the absolute tenderness of looking after your lover, trying to shield them from it all and them just clinging on to you... I WILL CRY

i would love to read any sickfic from you, be it any fk couple. hope you dont mind this request <3

Anon, I really hope you're still around to read this because I know it's been ages since you requested it, but look! I wrote you a SandRay sick!fic. I hope you enjoy 💕 Word Count: 2227

Ray was sick. Or, well, he had been. 

For days he had been fighting off a bad case of the flu and although he had a tendency to become extra stubborn when he was ill, Sand took care of him without argument. He cooked Ray delicious homemade soup, washed the sweat from his body so that he wouldn’t get a chill, and made sure he never missed a dose of his medicine.

At the height of his illness, Ray had found Sand’s unwavering attention annoying since all he wanted to do was sleep, but now, as the fever started to abate, he realized just how lucky he had been. It didn’t seem fair that all of that attention had been wasted when Ray wasn’t alert enough to appreciate it. So even though he was feeling better, he pretended that he wasn’t.

He was sitting in bed propped up on a mountain of pillows when Sand walked into the room that night with his evening meds. Ray gave him a wobbly smile and then immediately dissolved into a coughing fit that was only half for show.

Sand frowned, setting the glass of water and pills he was carrying down onto Ray’s bedside table before climbing onto the mattress with him, his hand raised to feel Ray’s forehead. Ray just watched him, wide-eyed and innocent. He knew his cheeks were flushed, but it wasn’t from fever. He had spent the past couple minutes pinching them hard enough to color his skin. He wanted it to look convincing.

“You’re not feeling any better?” Sand asked, dropping his hand back to his side. “You look better. Whenever I touched you before, you would just yell and swat me away.”

“I feel a little better,” Ray allowed, blinking at his boyfriend owlishly.

“Well, if you’re not feeling a lot better by tomorrow, we may need to go back to the doctor. I’m worried about you.”

“There’s no need to worry,” Ray said, pulling on Sand’s arm so that he was forced to sit down on the bed next to him. “I’m fine!”

If this had been a normal day, Sand probably would have rolled his eyes, but because Ray was sick, he didn’t. He just wrapped his arm around Ray’s shoulders and held him tight. Although Ray liked their usual teasing banter, he liked this too. He liked being spoiled. He liked that Sand had been staying home to take care of him instead of running off to a bunch of different jobs he didn’t need. He liked how his illness sanded down Sand’s rough edges. He liked that at their essence, this was what they were: soft and in love. “Do we have any more ice cream?”

Sand dutifully brought Ray a bowl of ice cream and they spent the night cuddling in bed watching movies. Ray knew it was destined to be his last night of sick leave; in the morning, he would be forced to make a miraculous recovery. But, he had to admit, it was time.

Ray woke up with the sun only to find that Sand was still asleep next to him, which was odd. Sand was an early riser. Figuring he was simply exhausted from the days spent taking care of Ray, Ray leaned in to kiss him on the forehead only to find that he was burning up. 

Ray pulled back in alarm, quickly replacing his lips with his hand, but the result was no better. Sand was sweltering hot to the touch. Too hot. Right? Ray wasn’t sure. He had never had to diagnose anyone before.

“Sand?” he said, shaking his boyfriend frantically. Sand would know what to do. Sand always did. “Sand, wake up. I think you’re sick!”

Sand very clearly did not want to wake up. He rolled away from Ray, buried his head underneath the covers, and started coughing. “Just bring me some medicine,” he said, his voice muffled. “I’ll be fine.”

Ray hopped out of bed immediately, determined to get the medicine for him as fast as possible, but it was only as he was standing alone in the middle of the room that he realized he had no idea where the medicine was kept. They had moved into this apartment together only a few weeks before. It would have been sooner, but Sand took some convincing because the apartment was technically way out of his budget.

In the end, Ray had worn him down, but Sand had adamantly refused to spend the extra money on movers, so they had done everything themselves. Or, well, Sand had. Ray had thanked him with copious amounts of blowjobs. It had seemed like a good system at the time, but now he had no idea where anything was.

He wandered into the bathroom and began looking through cabinets, figuring that was the most likely place for medicine to be, and eventually he found a couple bottles that looked familiar. They were empty.

Ray ran back into the bedroom, waving the bottles around frantically. “Sand, I think we’re out. What do I do now? Sand?” Sand was apparently too delirious to answer him. He wasn’t yet asleep, but his only response to Ray’s voice was a pained groan. Ray stared down at the bottles in his hand hoping that if he wished hard enough, they would simply refill themselves. But of course they didn’t.

It was then that Ray remembered Sand offering him a handful of pills the night before that Ray had only pretended to take since he was only pretending to be sick. He rushed over to his bedside table and pulled the pills out of his drawer.

“Sand, here,” he said excitedly, coming around to his side of the bed with a glass of water. “You need to take these.”

With some gentle coaxing, he was eventually able to get Sand to sit up and take the pills, but he looked horrible and collapsed back down onto the mattress immediately. Ray just stared at him helplessly, trying to figure out what in the world he was supposed to do next.

He thought about calling Sand’s mom or his own dad or, hell, Mew—literally anyone who might be able to help—but his pride stopped him from actually picking up the phone. Sand had taken care of him for nearly a week without any help at all. Surely, Ray could do the same. 

He took a deep breath and forced himself to think. The first thing he needed to do was buy more medicine.

“Sand? Sand?” he asked, shaking his boyfriend’s limp body. He had planned to ask whether Sand would be okay alone for a few minutes while he ran to the store, but Sand didn’t respond. He was fast asleep. In the end, Ray decided to go. He changed clothes, made sure Sand’s phone and a glass of water were easily within his reach, and then promised he would be back in fifteen minutes. As he stepped out their front door, he couldn’t help but think Sand would probably be better off alone than in his inept care.

Ray realized his first mistake within minutes: he had not taken a picture of the meds he needed to replace. When he reached the pharmacy right around the corner from their apartment, he was immediately overwhelmed by the options and he had no clue what Sand needed. He tried googling it only to become overwhelmed again, but in the end, a nice older lady helped him pick out a couple things she thought would be useful and Ray threw a few extras into his basket as well. Just in case.

When he returned home, Sand hadn’t moved, but he was shivering and covered in sweat, so Ray grabbed a washcloth and a basin of water and did his best to clean him. It wasn’t as easy as Sand made it look. His motions were clumsy and he felt sure that if Sand were conscious enough to know what was happening, he would have laughed at his efforts.

After that, Ray bundled Sand back into bed and headed into the kitchen to make soup for the first time in his life. On the night Ray had first fallen ill, Sand had made him a pot of soup that tasted so good he had devoured it within a day. It was Sand’s mom’s recipe and she claimed it had healing powers. Ray didn’t doubt it. Sand told him his mom’s soup was the one bright spot of getting sick. That it almost made the whole thing worth it. So Ray knew he needed to make it for Sand, too.

He had texted Sand’s mom and picked up the ingredients while he was out, but now that he was staring at them spread out over the counter, he felt less confident about his ability to recreate the recipe. There was nothing he could do about that now. He sighed and got started chopping the vegetables. Badly. Sand did most of the cooking in their house. Ray was starting to realize that Sand did most of everything.

Hours later, the finished soup was simmering on the stove and Ray smelled like a Thai restaurant. He quickly hopped in the shower, washing off the last vestiges of his own illness and the evidence of his poor cooking, and then headed back to the bedroom where Sand was still asleep. He held his hand out to feel Sand's forehead and although his body temperature felt more normal than before, he was still shivering. 

Ray didn’t know what else to do so, feeling helpless, he simply laid by his boyfriend’s side and wrapped his arms around him, praying that the worst of it would soon go away. Was this what it had felt like for Sand to watch him be sick over the past week? Had Ray only prolonged that pain by pretending he wasn’t well? 

The shivering stopped. They both fell asleep.

Ray was awoken some time later by Sand moving in his arms. He sat up immediately, ready to run and fetch whatever Sand needed to feel better, but when Sand finally opened his eyes, he no longer looked pained. Just tired. 

“Are you okay?” Ray asked, reaching for Sand’s face as if searching for an injury he already knew didn’t exist. “What do you need? Medicine? Water? Food? I made soup!”

Ray was cursing himself for not setting alarms for Sand’s medicine the way Sand had done for him when Sand gave him a weak smile. “You made soup?” he teased and that, at least, told Ray the medicine was working.

“I did!” Ray insisted.

“Well then some soup might be nice.”

So Ray hopped out of bed and prepared a bowl of soup for Sand. When he returned to the bedroom, he found Sand already sitting propped up on a couple pillows, taking better care of himself than Ray had taken of him.

“You look better,” he said.

“I feel better,” Sand agreed.

“I’m sorry I got you sick.”

Sand shrugged. “It was bound to happen. Now about this soup…”

Ray refused to pass Sand the bowl, scared he might drop it, but he dutifully scooped a spoonful of Tom Yum out and offered it to him. Sand sniffed it hesitantly before taking a bite.

The soup had barely touched his tongue before his whole face scrunched up in distaste. He quickly tried to school his features, but it was too late. Such an extreme reaction was hard to miss.

“What’s wrong?” Ray asked, trying a bite himself. All he could taste was salt. He made the same face Sand had and suddenly, he felt like he was going to cry.

“Oh, don't cry,” Sand said, taking the bowl from him, setting it down on the bedside table, and then pulling him into a hug. Even though Ray was no longer sick and certainly didn’t deserve the comfort, he let himself be held anyway.

“I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice thick with unshed tears. “I’m such a crappy boyfriend. You took such good care of me for a whole week and I can’t even make you a pot of soup without fucking it up. I haven’t even been sick these past couple days. I’ve just been pretending so you would pay more attention to me!”

“Oh, baby. I know.”

That was enough to stop Ray’s tears. “You do?”

“Of course I do. You’re not a very good liar. But look, it’s fine. It’s the thought that counts,” he said, running his fingers through Ray’s hair. Surprisingly, that was all it took to calm him down.

“I’ll get better,” Ray promised, leaning his head on Sand’s shoulder. “And I’ll order you more soup from that place you like.”

“You’re doing fine,” Sand soothed. “Just stay here with me. That’s all I need. You’re all I need.”

Ray laid with his head on Sand’s chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. “I love you,” he said because that was the one thing he knew he could provide. He had more than enough love to give.

Sand smiled and kissed the top of his head. “I love you too.”

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV S2 Ep7 Musings - Loustat Ep4 Revisited (Spoilers)

This one was WILD, my jaw was on the floor. JACOB! SIR ANDERSON! BRUH!?

Santiago doing a deliberately TERRIBLE Claudia voice after we saw his IMMACULATE Louis mimic--I HATE HIM. 🤣

I already tore Lestat a new arsehole for that.

Underneath the distorted Mind Spell audio effect you can barely hear Les say something about "the lies said by Louis;" but the subtitles don't pick it up.

NO, the COVEN wrote that script and did that. Lestat's COMPLICIT only cuz he's tryna SAVE Lou from the mess YOU put them in by selling them out to Santiago, Armand! You stood by and let them be abducted & dragged on stage, when YOU have the Fire Gift! You coulda lit them all up like matches! But you AND Lestat wanted Claudia out of the picture!

Louis finally not wearing black in Dubai; he's in dark blood red. 👀

HOW, if Les cant read your mind? I think SEEING Lestat and hearing his effed up account took Louis back to NOLA--not that Les was doing any Mind/Spell Gifts on Lou, literally taking him back to NOLA. It's a distorted memory, not astral projection or a hallucination.

Lestat like: "WE?" All of a sudden you wanna speak French at me with this OUI?

I couldn't resist, the hands were sending me.

Ohhhh this is SINISTER, making Lou look he manipulated Les. The VOICE Jacob uses is tryna kill me--he sounds so simpering and soft and feminine, no deep bass whatever; they know wtf they're doing. XD Any other network and there'd've been a fullblown sex scene. 😅

Ohhh no, the coven's tryna make it seem like Louis DID know the laws b4 he got to Paris; this isn't Lestat or any true memory; this is the coven talking thru Lestat's script; which wormed into Louis' head.

LOL. Scripted AF.

"He did tell me, what she would be." No, in S1E4 Les realized AFTER she killed the cop that her metabolism would be effed up. Armand told him the Great Laws, but Lestat just laughed in his face. Marius told him not to make vampires as young as Armand, but it had nothing to do with the Great Laws, and Lestat assumed it was just cuz ARMAND'S a poor vampire, in that silly cult. Les & Marius were more concerned about Christianity's effect on vampire moralism/depression/"self-loathing," and Les talked about LOUIS' anxiety--

--but as for Claudia he turned her CUZ HE'S A EFFING BRAT who only ever does what HE wants to do, eff anyone else.

I nearly had heart attack, thinking the coven was gonna say Louis' her Maker--the LAUGH I was gonna make, omg. 🤣 Cuz the humans can't call them on that, cuz what do THEY know about maker/fledgling blood and not being able to read minds?

The coven has her diaries when she said this, so I think this was all scripted; not something he really said--though ofc he could've read it in her mind when he rescued her, and genuinely felt this way, cuz ofc he would--he wanted/needed her to think he was a good person.

I DO wonder if a bit of this was true, about Louis feeding Claudia his blood, cuz these AMC's vamps are wildly inconsistent about healing. Their blood has strong healing powers--as we see in S2E5 when Armand fed Louis after his suicide attempt by fire, and in Ep6 after his suicide by slitting his wrists after making Madz. So ofc Louis might try to heal Claudia by bleeding on her & letting her drink.

These 2 frames back to back are precisely Louis' issue--he don't know wtf is going on. U_U

☝️ THIS!. ALL OF THIS! ☝️

Louis' GUILT is why the memories are all muddled; why he's doubting his own recollection, on top of the literal brainwashing from Armand & the forced Mind/Spell Gifts put on him by the coven.

Dragged on the EFFING FLOOR, the coven is WICKED! 🫣 This is when I knew those dirty heifers were LYING. And Claudia can't even corroborate this, cuz she was in & out of it when she was turned.

She is staring Louis DOWN, but sweetie, he's as lost as you are.

This is hilariously & deliciously & salaciously melodramatic; Imma slap Vampire Sam for writing this script--he'd've loved writing fanfiction on AO3.

NGL, I expected that hand to start veering a few degrees over if you know what I mean. 🍆 Lou's face was in PRIME position to do him some face. (The fanfics finna go CRAZY.)

Welp, my fears were well-founded. The coven is SPITTING all over their history.

PLEASE do the "evil of my evil" line, AMC! 🙏 This democracy of hypocrisy ain't finna do that. Sit your French White arse down on the red velvet throne AR gave you in the Prince Lestat trilogy, and STFU.

I don't think Lou did; he was very candid in S1 about how he cried & pleaded, and Les saying she'd be their daughter. The important difference is the inclusion about the Great Laws, and how that implicates them. It doesn't matter that Louis already knew she'd be stuck 14 forever & didn't care--if he didn't know Lestat was 100+ and stuck 34 forever, then he's a fool. Wanting an eternal child to baby & pamper & dote on is way different from intentionally breaking the law.

No love, that's the guilt talking! They were scrambling your brains RIGHT THERE ON STAGE; take this with a grain of salt; 74 years have provided A LIBRARY OF CONFUSION!

Daniel, stfu for once; why would you see this as having ANY "clarity." This is the most muddled portion of the trial thus far!

[aikoiya]

I just do not understand the insistence that animals must be sentient.

Because if they were, then why are the animals that kill other animals not labeled as murderers?

Hell, why aren't cats seen as malicious, mini, jigsaw killers considering how they play with their food. Why aren't ewes looked upon with disgust for often trampling orphaned lambs that a farmer tries to get them to adopt? Why aren't wolves seen as bullies for hunting in packs to kill prey? Why aren't dolphins more acknowledged for being effing rapists?

If you believe that animals are capable of reasoning, then that automatically makes all animals that eat meat into exactly what humans that eat meat are, thus they should be looked upon with every bit as much scorn as certain vegans look upon regular ass people. And it'd also mean that any animal that hunts is a murderer.

Hell, many animals are cannibals! In fact, plenty even eat the young of other animals or even their own young if they're so much as lacking in B12!

Literally! Mother hamsters are known to eat her own babies if she's put on an all-corn diet! They don't even have to be dying because of it!

You can't claim that animals are all sentient & then not hold them responsible for their actions! That's hypocritical! Because if these animals are sentient, then they are making the active decision to commit these actions & should be held acountable for them! Period!

Seriously, unless an animal is specifically an obligate herbivore, they will likely still eat meat given the chance!

And, whether you like it or not, animals are only as vegan as their options. As soon as times get tough for a deer, it's gonna be eyeing up any little Tweeties or Thumpers they come across. Same with horses, sheep, ect.

In fact, if animals are as deserving of life & respect as us, then doesn't that make having pets the same as slavery? And how do cat owners even justify feeding their pets? At least those that force their cats into a vegan lifestyle are being consistent even though they're abusing the poor things. Those cats aren't gonna live to be 10 years old on a diet like that & they'll be miserable the whole time.

Like, how do people twist their brains into so many directions just to justify their lifestyles??

Seriously, humans are so freaking unique within the animal kingdom. We are probably the only creatures who would do all this nonsense for the sake of critters that honestly don't give an eff.

Like, dude, whatever. You don't wanna eat meat, then don't. No skin off my brow. More brisket for me! But don't moralize your choice & don't demonize those who love a delicious steak.

Here's what some don't seem to understand; those animals are gonna die anyway, whether it's by the hand of man, a predator animal, sickness, or old age. Their days are numbered no matter what. And, quite frequently, they'll still get eaten. So, in the end, what's the difference if a sheep is eaten by a human or a buzzard or a coyote?

You didn't save that sheep's life. You only postponed the inevitable. Because if you're not the one who eats it, then someone or something else will. You cannot stop it.

And it's likely going to hurt regardless, so saying shit like "anything to reduce at least a little bit of the pain in the world" is just pure naiveté. You haven't reduced the pain in the world even a little. And in fact, considering how a lot of animals don't even care if their food is all-the-way dead as they're eating them, you could even say that that animal might end up experiencing even more pain than if they'd been killed by a human.

And that isn't even taking into account sickness or accidents! How do you know that that animal's last moments won't be spent in complete misery or abject fear??

Because one of the things about humans is that, for the most part, we prefer our food dead-dead before we eat it. And we intentionally go out of our ways to make death as painless a transition as possible, even for the animals we're gonna eat.

If we're gonna keep it 100, ya'll. Humans can be some of the gentlest, most merciful killers on earth.

Hell, we have laws against animal cruelty!

And, the thing is, animals... don't. Period. In fact, most don't make it to old age.

So, in the end, your efforts were meaningless.

[darkwolf76]

Can I just say I so appreciated Ser Criston Cole's arc in ep 2x03 of HoTD?

I don't defend his deplorable actions throughout his arc; I just have always found him a fascinating character with so much more nuance and depth than people give him credit for. There's so much left unexplored in those effed up depths that people fail to consider. Ep 3 of season 2 reminded me of that.

He was VISCERALLY unlikable in ep 2, deliciously so, with all the guilt and projecting he did. The man was near wholesome in his scene with Alicent in ep 3, though! He asked for her favor. He smiled, just a bit, for the first time in ages. He was anxious before his first small council as Hand and fiddled uncomfortably at the meeting, letting things get out of control until talk turned to battle and war. This man KNOWS war.

He keeps his cool, stone cold when Gwayne was effing around out in the field and then freaking out when Baela swoops down on them with Moon Dancer. Gwayne was crying, but Criston was calm as they came. He didn't have that dead look in his eyes either. They looked sure and steady, someone confident and in their element. And Criston brings up the rear of the knights, making sure everyone else gets to cover and safety before him, as the commander, btw! I hope we see more of this side of him in the season going forward! Hats off to Fabian Frankel for showing such different sides to his character in two episodes back to back! Nuance people, it's there! The actor made Criston RELATABLE and ADIMIRABLE this episode! After Criston in 2x02, that was a hard one to pull off, but he did!

[sjbattleangel]

Li*C*nv*y is dangerous. Stay away from him.

TW: N*zism. Homophobic, ableist hate speech. Su*cide baiting. Targeted harassment amd cyberbulling.

So when I first heard about this guy, it was when he was throwing a tantrum over a certain cartoon reboot not being a "serious, chest-pumping epic". On his YouTube page, I noticed he had a link to BitChute*, a literal website dedicated to hosting white supremacist material. When confronted over this, he kept shifting the goalposts all while using thought-terminating "Eu tu" excuses.

When I wrote post on this guy a while back, someone told me that he is a user of ANOTHER hate site: KiwiF*rms. Under the name of "*ldManB**mer". For my own safety, I didn't visit the site but by searching the username and using the Internet Archive, I found these:

But most damning of all:

Yes. It is him. No matter how much he claims to care for victims of sexual abuse, no matter how nice he is to others, Li*C*nv*y is a member of white supremacist hate sites where he causally throws about homophobic, ableist slurs and baits other users into k*lling themselves. He just uses abuse victims and his own family members as shields to cover up his true nature

Please, stay away from him. Don't support him. He doesn't deserve an audience.

One of the reasons I was forced to delete my old post is because one of his lifeless simps decided to lead a hate campaign against me to unalive myself.

This is true audience he attracts: (Report and block this turd-stain)

No. The only person here who's effing pathetic is you: You simp for a sad little manbaby, so scared of the world no longer revolving around him that he joins literal hate movements to freeze his childhood in amber, police what children watch and harass women and minorities out of nerd culture. No wonder you adore him. You're perfectly alike! Keep the waterworks coming, asshole. I need them for my tea.

Mmmm! Now that's delicious tea.

*And before you come at me with your neoliberal idealism, that "having a BitChute account doesn't make you a N*zi". I'm going to stop you there because yes it freaking does.

[donascozylivingroom]

MANIFESTING WL

You know, when i was a kid i was kinda deppressed so it ruined my confidence and my body image. i don't think i was trully phat, i think i just didn't like my belly and i thought that made me phat.

i had a panic attack when my dad screamed in a restaurant that i ate too much.

i ate a whole bread when i was a kid just to not feel the emotional pain of having a huge fight with my mom.

of course my relationship with food was effed up.

around 18 yo my friend told me about calories so i started restricting and i became slim. the first time in my life that i liked how i look. but i was still emotionally and mentally messed up so i got into a lot of trouble.

i'm 30 now and looking back at my "phat" 60 kg at 1.70m pictures, i look incredibly beautiful.

my whole life i unconsciously affirmed food makes me gain, and "i'm phatttt". guess what? i truly became it at some point. i was around 114 kg last time i weighed. i've lost around 6-8 kgs in my opinion and photo comparison because i no longer weigh...in the last three weeks.

aside from persisting in weight loss robotic affirmations, i also persisted in affirming after every meal that e4t|ng makes me lose weight. even if i have to repeat it for 30 mins after, i don't care, i am rewiring my subconscious mind and my beliefs.

I ate mcdonalds or pizza some days and i am visibly skinnier.

i scrolled around 3d tumblr and it just made me sad... it's not ok. food doesn't make u gain, your mind does. we live in a hollographic universe, life is a dream, of course it responds to your beliefs about it. you are the creator.

if you've ever seen tasty food and just by seeing it felt phattah, then u know, it's in ur beliefs, because food literally makes me slim.

when i discovered this i felt like i was in a food paradise. like, would Source make something so delicious hurt u? would it like u to restrict forever? it's all created by the media. created by humans, this belief.

get your powers back! yes it can take a long time (1-2-3 months) to truly change your mindset because it is so ingrained in u and society, but once u do, u will be that friend that eats whatever they want and still look perfect.

ignore any proof and just keep repeating when u see 3d not comforming, form a new identity around this and u will be free!

***EDIT*** Remember, if you have negative beliefs, no matter how much you shed you will never be satisfied. You are beautiful and perfect as u are.

Picture is not mine credit: pinterest

[vagabond-umlaut]

⁙ love too much to not

▸ gojo satoru x gn! reader; 0.4k wc; no warnings, except gojo loving you to the moon and back.

▸ ahhh... idrk wth i wrote here... anyways, don't own gif nor characters. enjoy this tiny drabble! <3

the crunch of the gravel, once too loud a sound, drowns under the weight of your voice - and gojo feels his pout melt away a little.

yes, you didn't let him buy the sweets he had "artfully" hidden beneath the noodles in the shopping trolley.

yes, you've been yelling at him non-stop since then till now, at the estate gates, a good twenty-minute walk from the store.

yes, you'll make him sleep on the couch tonight, a punishment (too cruel, he thinks) for breaking the promise to check his sugar intake.

still, gojo can't bring himself to be that upset.

not when he sees you worry for his well-being enough to tell him no - despite knowing the griping you'll have to deal with in return.

not when you are walking beside him - the warmth of your hand in his a delicious contrast to the chilly night breeze.

not when he knows you'll be sleeping safe and sound in the adjacent room - the flickers of your cursed energy a balm to his six eyes.

a slow smile spreads across gojo's face.

years ago, if someone had told him he would find himself one day on his mansion's front porch, two grocery bags on one arm, gazing down at a person (who's only scowling at him in return) with so much love, his entire being hurts - gojo would have scoffed at them. domesticity can never be more than a fever dream for "the one and only honored one".

or could never be - he muses, gaze never leaving yours or your rapidly-reddening features - until the day his orbit crashed into yours.

placing his and your grocery bags on the ground, he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you in, intending to silence and appease you with a deep kiss - only for you to break the kiss an instant later, a perplexed frown on your face which soon transforms into a furious glare - and gojo realizes his blunder.

"'toru, did you sample those sweets at the store too!?!?"

a guilty grin is all gojo can muster as you remove yourself from his hold and picking up the bags, shove past him into your shared home.

yeah, domesticity can be an effing nightmare too at times - gojo thinks as he watches the door slam in his face and hears the locks click into place a second later - but with you as the demon starring in it, he has got nothing to complain about.

[dino-boyo-agere]

Not On Valentine's Day

╰→ Steddie AgeRe fanfic

[Word count: 1748] holy crap, that's a big boi!

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Character info:

Steve - Age Regressor (lil age 3-ish)

Eddie  - caregiver ("Poppa")

Plot:

Steve deals with immense pressure, caused by him planning a elaborate Valentine's Date for Eddie, while desperately trying not to slip into little space.

Tw! Angst, Hurt & comfort, mention of: impure regression, mental health, self loathing, anxiety & intimacy.

╰→ It's all kept SFW!!

! Age Regression is not a k*nk !

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Steve felt like he was going to burst under all this pressure, it was to much. He planned and prepared a romantic valentine's date...

Well, he wasn't quite done yet, even though it was already Feburary 14th.

It was still in the early hours of the morning, but nonetheless, his anxiety was through the roof. He barely got any sleep and he still had so much to do. Steve whished he could just curl up infront of the TV, in his PJs, eating fruit loops and- 

Oh, no..

He could feel himself beginning to slip.

No, he can't have that, not today, darnit..

"Get it together, Harrington.." he mumbled to himself, slightly slapping his own cheek, as a means to stay aware, stay alert, stay big.

He wanted this day to be perfect.

He wanted tonight to be a romantic and.. hecc.. intimate experience with Eddie. Not whatever his stupid, effed up brain wanted to make out of it.

He won't- no.. He can't let himself ruin this for Eddie, not again..

Why did he always have to make everything about himself? Eddie deserved better. He deserved a nice, romantic date, in which he would be the center of attention. And Steve was going to make that happen, today.

He pushed aside the self-destructive thoughts and his urge to regress, focusing soely on making this work. On making this day perfect, for Eddie.

So, he continued with the preparations to make this happen.

He went all out, exhausting himself more and more in the process.

The whole ordeal also took him way longer than anticipated, since he continually had to fight slipping.

While cleaning the house, he constantly got distracted by finding toys or other 'little stuff'.

Whilst cooking a fancy three course meal, he found it frustratingly hard to read and understand the recipe, resulting in him having to start over two times.

He had to calm himself down and remind himself that monsters aren't real, before being able to enter the cellar, so he could pick out one of the most expensive whines from his parents collection.

Upon selecting some romantic movies, he had to resist just throwing in- and watching a cartoon.

He had to give up on the idea of building a blanket fort, while making the bed.

When he took a shower, he denied himself using his 'spiderman shampoo', though he really wanted to.

And as he picked his clothes, Steve had to go with something elegant, instead of his cozy footed PJ's he so desperately wanted to snuggle up in.

Hopelessly klinging on to his big headspace, Steve had to remind himself to stay focused on the mission, constantly.

In the evening, he was finally done, right before Eddie arrived.

He embraced his boyfriend with a hug and excitedly explained his plans for the day.

Steve could still feel his brain being fuzzy, though he eagerly tried to hide it.

Eddie could tell that something was bothering Steve, he avoided eye contact and seemed to be restless. Always jumping up 'to get-' or 'because he forgot something'. 

So, he asked his boyfriend if everything was alright.

Steve just shrugged him off, stating: "Oh, yeah. It's- I'm just a little tired, that's all. And so excited for today, really."

Eddie knew he was lying, or at least not telling the whole truth, but he didn't want to push it, so he just accepted Steve's explanation and moved on from the topic.

The date was going great.

Their food was delicious and they've snuggled up infront of the TV, watching some cheesey romance movies. They liked judging- and making fun of the stupid decisions characters tend to make.

Under the blanked, Eddie started gently caressing Steve's thigh. As he was just about to lean in for a passionate kiss, he stopped right in his tracks, when he saw Steve's face. A look of unease, or even fear, in his glazed eyes.

Eddie knew that look. He knew it too well.. This was the look of a- no, of his deeply afflicted darling boy.

Immediately, he lifted his hand from the boys leg, ever so gently placing it on his cheek instead.

He rubbed his thumb against the soft skin lovingly & with such vigilance, as to not scare Steve further.

"Oh, oh baby, I'm so sorry." Eddie said, his voice shaking from guilt and hurt, for almost harming his little one.

He felt like punching himself in the face. How didn't he catch that sooner?!

He almost kissed his little one passionately, hasn't he looked up in time. What kind of awful Caregiver would he be if..

Eddie could feel his stomach turn at the thought of that.

"I'm so sorry." He repeated.

Steve was perplexed, at first.

He didn't notice how far he had already slipped, cuddled up on the couch like that.

He wasn't fully regressed yet, still capable of thinking  somewhat adult-ish. But it was definitely noticable that he wasn't fully there.

Nonetheless, he wanted to play it off, he's come so far, he won't let himself ruin this for Eddie.

"N- no, it's okay.. look." Steve tried to sound as convincing as possible, leaning in for a kiss, desperately pushing away the feeling of unease and disgust. Attempting to assure, not just Eddie, but himself aswell.

'Eddie is my boyfriend, darn it.. Why do I have to be so weird about this.. He's not disgusting..I should just kis-'

Eddie stopped his thoughts and advances, backing away, while gently holding Steve at arms length by his shoulders.

"Whoa there, Kiddo.. What are you- That's not appropriate!" He exclaimed.

Eddie was mortified.

Something was clearly affecting his little one in a very negative way and he had to know what it was. He had to know how he could help him.

Steve, meanwhile, grew frustrated.

"What do you mean 'not appropriate'? You're my boyfriend and boyfriends kiss." He snapped at the bewildered man in front of him.

Eddie remained calm.

"Yes, I am your boyfriend, when you are big-Steve. When you are little-Steve, I am your Poppa. And right now you are not big, Buddy." He explained, his voice assertive but tender.

Tears formed in Steve's eyes, prompting Eddie to pull him into a warm hug, kissing the top of his head. "It's okay, Darling. I've got you. You can talk to me." He reassured his little one.

Steve began sobbing, slipping further into his regression.

He started apologizing. "I'm s- so sor-ry. I ruined valentine days. I aways ruin tings an I'm aways se- selfish.. sorry.. sorry."

He was unbelievably upset with his actions and ashamed for again making everything about himself..

At least that's how he viewed the situation.

Eddie tightened the hug.

"Don't say that. You didn't ruin anything, nor are you selfish in any way.-"

His attempt to comfort Steve was interposed by the latter, who was vehemently fighting his regression once again.

"Yes, I did an- and yes, I am.. I always do this.. I- it's always just.. me. Me. ME.. This was sup- supposed to be y- you day. So.. so I tried to.. just.. s- suck it up.. and.. and.."

Steve was visibility shaking, when Eddie interrupted his rambling.

".. and just kiss me? Disregarding your own emotions? Ignoring how you felt unsafe and uncomfortable?"

Tears where forming in his eyes now aswell, at the thought of his Darling having to deal with such harmful thoughts, all on his own. Eddie's body also began to tramle too.

Steve looked up at him, having fully slipped now. Besides, he was to exhausted to fight it any longer anyways.

*¹ "Is sowwy. I kno it bad foa meh. I jus' wan u to be happeh. sowwy, Poppa."

He sniffled into his caregivers chest.

Eddie pulled him even closer.

"Steve, Darling.. I love you." He could feel hot tears running down his cheeks.

"Wether you're big or small. I'm more than excited to spend valentine's day with you." The boy in his arms looked up at him, wiping away a tear from his caregivers face, before letting him continue.

"I don't care if we eat fancy cuisine or dino nuggets. I don't care if we watch a romantic movie or cartoons. I don't care if we get intimate or just cuddle." He paused again, to kiss Steve's forehead.

"I am happy, as long as I am with you. So.." Eddie tightened his hug, pulling his Darling closer once more.

"..just let me be with you, whichever you it may be. Please stop trying to hide yourself, to try and accomodate me."

He loosened the hug, to gently grab Steve's face with both hands, lovingly looking into his eyes. "I love you, Steve. I love each and every part of you and that'll never change, ever."

Eddie was full on crying now.

Both of them embraced in a tight hug again, weeping into each others sweaters.

They stayed like that for a little while.

As the sniffling and sobs slowly subsided, Eddie could hear a soft whisper. So quiet, he couldn't make out what was said.

"Sorry, Stevie. I didn't quite catch that. What did you say? Could you repeat it for me, Darling?" Eddie asked softly, rubbing his little one's back.

"Pwomise?" Steve repeated, intently staring at his carer's hoodie strings, with which he was fiddling.

Eddie immediately understood what he was referring to.

"Promise. I'll always love you as you are, Sweetheart." He promptly answered and placed a kiss on Steve's forehead.

*² "Wuv yuh too, foreva.. pomise." The boy replied, now sleepily chewing on the strings of Eddie's hoodie, his eyes half closed.

He was exhausted..

Exhausted from all the planning and preparing.

Exhausted from trying to fight slipping all day.

Exhausted from crying so much.

Exhausted from having to deal with all those big feelings for so long.

After sitting there, cuddling for a while, Eddie got up. He turned on some soft music on his speakers, before carrying his Darling Boy to bed.

Kissing his forehead again, he whispered: "Happy Valentines day, Stevie." into the little one's hair, before closing his eyes aswell.

Steve knew he was safe now. In Eddie's arms, he was home.

His strength was barely enough to give a dazed "mhmm" in response.

Eddie was content with that answer. With Steve in his arms, he was home.

They layed like that, tangled up in each other's arms, snuggling, until they fell into a deep and much needed slumber.

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

I hope you liked my little Valentine's Day story.

& thank you so much for reading!

.･｡ﾟ×ﾟ☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.✧.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ☆ﾟ×ﾟ｡･.

Footnotes:

╰→ (Stevie's Baby-Talk Translation)

*¹ "I'm sorry. I know it's bad for me. I just want you to be happy. sorry, Eddie."

*² "I love you too, forever. I promise."

.ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･».ﾟ°･⁠✧ ↓ DNI ↓ ✧･° ﾟ.«･｡ﾟ×ﾟ｡･*.ﾟ.

Banner by @froggy-clubhouse !!!

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#nates stories

[respectthepetty]

Because when a color demon is summoned by @negrowhat and @mggsttn's post, I show up!

Top 5 - Color-Coded Storytelling in BLs

Y'all already know what number one is, but let's pretend you don't. Instead follow me on this journey into BLs that gave the best color-coded storytelling. In order to be considered for this list:

The story had to integrate the colors into multiple aspects of the series: wardrobe, lighting, accessories, setting, etc.

The colors had to be meaningful to the plot.

The narrative did not explicitly state what the colors meant.

The color coding had to be consistent and featured in each episode.

The series has to be finished.

So let's begin!

Honorable Mention: Oh No! Here Comes Trouble

This isn't a BL (yet it's queer, so anyone who says it isn't can argue with the ghosts), but that damn red thread of fate had me and Yiyong messed up all season! The appearance of the color red in the series was less of an alarm, and more of a signal that every single moment was connected. All those single red threads that Yiyong and his unlikely crime-solving buddies weaved each episode came together at the last minute not only to solve the crime, but to stitch Yiyong together and bring him back from the edge of death because the true message of the show about fate and dying was how connection is what makes life worth living.

#5 - Moonlight Chicken

Director Aof and Cinematographer Rath never miss, but this particular story being told in this series through the symbolism and lighting depicting moon vs. sun, coldness vs. warmth, dislike vs. love, and so much more was phenomenal. Watch the scene of Li Meng holding a crying Heart in Heart's cold, blue, dark room then witness the two kissing in Li Meng's warm, orange-ish, bright living room or watch the hatred and blue melting off of Alan as he begins to find love again and you'll understand that the color coding in this show wasn't just a simple red versus blue dynamic. This was the work of PROFESSIONALS. This color coding was like tiramisu made by the best Italian chef; it had layers and was effing delicious!

#4 - My Beautiful Man

This show did several visual devices oh-so-well. We got Hira always being lower than Kiyoi. We got the duck. We got Hira capturing Kiyoi with his camera instead of being present with him. We got traditional colors but with that Japanese twist. And all of the elements worked together to give us an elite visual story. Hira was blue. Kiyoi was white. Hira was the loyal and reserved servant. Kiyoi was a god. Yet this was the point of contention between the two. Kiyoi wasn't a heavenly being. He was a human boy devoid of love. He wanted Hira to love him, not worship him. He wanted Hira to stand with him, not lower himself. He wanted Hira to live with him, not through him. So we saw Kiyoi struggle with his color when he didn't feel stable in their relationship, but once Hira made it clear that he loved Kiyoi, Kiyoi never shined brighter.

#3 - My Love Mix-Up

Nobody does colors like Japan. It color codes its ties. It leans into the religious aspect of the light versus dark color scheme. It invents new ways to color-code and is always evolving . . . like Aoki's orange color did in this series. Our disaster bisexual started the series with a muted color and as he discovered he liked a boy and not the girl he originally was crushing on, his color started to emerge. At first it was a soft yellow, but by the end, it was a vibrant orange. Ida was a solid blue, so watching Aoki's feeling deepen for him was electric each time the blue lighting lingered on his face until it overwhelmed him. Oh, and that color exchange is the best that has ever been done!

#2 - Semantic Error

This show tricked us. Jae Young played us the way he played Sang Woo, yet Jae Young's true colors were revealed as the boys spent more time with each other because isn't that the entire point of color coding? Seeing people's true colors without having to be told? Jae Young started off as red solely because quiet and introverted Blue Boy Sang Woo HATED red. That was it! That was the entire reason Jae Young became red. He just wanted to piss off Sang Woo. But as the boys worked together and Jae Young's personality shown through, Sang Woo realized Jae Young wasn't the devil he made him out to be and was actually a pretty chill Green Guy who he wanted to hug longer than two weeks.

#1 - Big Dragon

The only reason 82% of the crowd decided to watch this show was because of the visual above. Let that sink in. This one visual piqued y'alls interest enough to watch a show about a guy drugging someone to have sex with him and blackmail him with the tape of it so he could *looks at notes* get the girl? A girl?! And the guy who was drugged, almost sexually assaulted, and blackmailed was *checks notes again* HE WAS IN TO IT?!

Y'all hated this show. I loved it. Y'all think it was ridiculous. I love it. Y'all are rolling your eyes right now. I will always love it because it understood the assignment! I can't keep repeating the same points over and over, but here I go again:

Everything was color coded!

And it all supported the story. It never distracted from the story. It never became its own story. It was laced into the story. It did exactly what visual rhetoric is supposed to - show don't tell.

And it showed me when Yai opened his heart to Mangkorn.

And how Mangkorn's love transformed Yai.

It showed me that Yai's sister was his only source of light living in that isolated house.

It showed me the warmth Yai felt from Mangkorn's mom.

And it showed me that no matter how much he protested, Yai was deep in love.

And to think it all started here.

And ended up here.

That's the power of color coding and remarkable visuals.

It makes you see the beauty is in the details.

[ken-dom]

If you’re writing Lars you havta mention how messy his hair gets. Please. How cute is he when he pants with parted lips? Under that mustache with a hot, hungry tongue before gritting his teeth.

I also think hand placements for lars (written by you of course) are an absolute delight. Also maybe adding a bit of motion such as shakiness or shivering would be blazing.

That’s for smut I guess. Lastly don’t forget to mention his thighs, we love his thighs.

For sfw, he’d literally be cute doing anything at all, he could be just breathing and I’d be in awe of the scene. I've been wanting to tell you another ask of gifting him a vinyl record and listening to songs at his fireplace. That’d be so effing cute.

Anyway, that’s all i have for now, wish you luck, rebecca! 💗💗

Love the record idea! You know you’re appealing to my vinyl obsession haha. And his hair — I adore how he puts so much effort into it when he tries to look nice for Bianca, but he also messes it up with his hat, his part is never quite straight and there’s often a bit sticking out, which I LOVE because it just leads me on to thinking about getting my fingers in there to mess it all up even more, only to put him back together again later.

Exhibit A: strand sticking out and slightly crooked part

Exhibit B: hair I desperately wanna mess up and sideburns that just seem to do something to me

ANYWAY

Thighs… I wrote about them once and there’s a little nsfw imagine (gn!reader) below the cut. Y’know. As a treat 😈

Imagine his not-quite-perfectly combed hair all mussed and sticking up at the back, messy with the passion of your eager fingertips, cheeks flushed a delicious warm pink and eyes squeezed tight shut while one of his thighs, thick and strong, is wedged firmly between yours.

He can feel the heat of your arousal against him and his chest heaves, bottom lip kiss-swollen and trembling between heated kisses that he tried to keep chaste at first (but failed only seconds in). His hands shake, too, as they grip your hips. He’s not controlling your movements, but he could if he got the urge to. And the urge is there somewhere, simmering, buried just beneath the surface, but he’s far too overwhelmed to acknowledge it right now.

Especially when you moan his name. After all, everyone’s favourite word is their own name.

[sengardet]

Price to Pay!

Olerans: powerful and long-lived alien beings whose purpose was to preserve humanity. They are extremely intelligent, have powerful magic, and... as the one guarantee that they will not wipe out their creators and predecessors; They feast only on human blood. The mystic ring flared a deep crimson as Sevila appeared amidst a whirl of dark smoke, her leathery wings stretching out wide.

With a grin, the demonic looking magical being spoke. "So, you've called upon me for assistance, yes? You have my service for a day but my fee is not light - you shall house me eternally. And care for my cherished companions."

With a wave of her clawed hand, three fragile figures emerged from the shadows. decorated in armor yet delicate. Sevila's dark eyes glinted with hunger as she beheld her pets.

These cattle existed to sate her endless thirst, carefully groomed to provide ample delicious blood. Well-conditioned hearts sent tremors through their bodies with each powerful beat, straining against too-small rib cages between labored breaths. Their decorative clothing, like dogs in sweaters, did little to conceal their slight forms, utterly defenseless before the powerful Oleran.

But there was no trace of fear in their stares, only desperate need. They gazed at their mistress with glassy, pleading eyes, silently begging to fulfill their sole purpose.

Reaching out possessively, she caressed the blonde one's cheek, savoring the way the girl leaned into her touch with a needy whimper. "Such good girls," Sevila smiled, "so eager to serve me... and you... you will take good care of them. Should I need more blood, you will sustain me as well."